When to Ask for Help ft. Jesse Johnson

We all need help at some point. Some of us ask for it, and some of us don’t.

Those who don’t can be left crying in the shower…while keeping a poker face around everyone else.

Jesse Johnson opened up to me about the challenges he faced as a young, single dad of 4. His cup was empty and finally asked for help.

It was night and day the relief he felt from receiving help in all areas of his life.


Key Takeaways

• Ask for help. Not asking doesn’t only hurt you – it hurts other people who ultimately want to give and connect meaningfully in the same way you do.
• Create a system that captures what relationships in your life take priority and allows you to understand how your decisions impact what’s important to you.
• Once you have a system in place that fuels your well-being, monetary needs, and impact, follow the blueprint. When things change, reassess your plan.

Key Moments

{6:57} “One of the things that I had to learn early on was how to prioritize relationships. And we hear that if everything's important then nothing is important. And if you take that principle back into our relationships, then it's, ‘is my employee at my company more important than my kids?’ And I don't think it's a black and white static answer. I think there's a continuum and attention point that we have to manage on a consistent basis.”

{9:39} “I think my cup was so empty. It was like a negative bank account that had been overdrawn forever and it almost felt like you couldn't get another loan, cause you damaged  your line of credit for so long. And it was challenging. That's where it was, but I knew that's where it shouldn't live or shouldn't be.”

{18:01} “I just very am committed to that process of impacting and moving forward with people and screaming it from the rooftops that just because it's been this way, it doesn't have to continue to go that way or just because that might be your history, it doesn't have to be your destiny. You get to pick.”



More about Jesse

Jesse is the founding CEO of Champion Empire, a Spokane-based collection of businesses and professionals united to support free enterprise, small business, and the community in which we live. Jesse’s vision for Champion is to foster more generosity than any other leadership network, and to be known as THE trusted guide for information and resources needed to grow. He has been a business owner from a young age, is a devoted father of 6, a lifelong learner and advisor to those that want to make an impact rather than just an income.



Get in touch with Jesse

Jesse@championempire.net

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-johnson-champion/

Share your Story

Send it to us at podcast@jennylynnerickson.com



Get Beyond Workaholism

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Transcript

Jenny Lynne: Jesse Johnson, I am so glad to have you here. 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, me as well. Thanks for having me, Jenny. 

Jenny Lynne: Yeah, absolutely. As, as someone who runs as fast as me, possibly faster, it's an absolutely great to get to know you and I mean that in the best possible way. So that's kind of a nice lead in. Um, how do you define work?

Jesse Johnson: Yeah. A long time ago I heard that statement that it's only work if you wish you were doing something else. And so I really think that, , work is that thing that maybe isn't playing to your strengths, 

So I guess put it's, it's the activities in the day that you wish you were doing something else. And, uh, I might throw the modifier in there cuz I love your concept of just workaholism and situations of responsibility. On the other hand is another segway that I [00:01:00] think we get into and sometimes we can have an overinflated sense of responsibility that makes us turn things that don't have to be work into really, functional environments that we feel like we have to be on all the time, that drains our battery further. 

Jenny Lynne: So when we go back to like the beginning of your story, did you ever have that overweighted sense of responsibility? 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, I think that's the thing that rears its head every once in a while if I don't take things kind of captive and be intentional.

I mean, as you know, in my story, being an early father with adopting people, so it was a. 20 year old single guy to a father of four in a six month timeframe with a two year old, seven, eight year old, and a 16 year old. I think that came from the responsibility to change the world and save the world and, and take it all on all right now.

And taking every little play session with the kids as an ability to train up the next generation of leaders. And model. And I think if we forget that part of what we have to model [00:02:00] for them is a healthy balance of our activities, then we can drift into an unhealthy state. So, 

Jenny Lynne: so what did your work life look like before that moment, before the 20 year old adopting four kids?

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, I mean, I resonated a lot with your story. , I think I was the 4.0 student, taking 13 classes my freshman through junior year to just learn more, several of which were college credits when I could through running start, captain of the football team working on top of that, leading the two and three a days, 

Jenny Lynne: which is intense.

My son's in football, so I know this firsthand. 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah. And so it really was that and I that stemmed from. Watching my family work 16, 18 hour work days in the restaurant business growing up and how that just played in where, okay, this is just what we do is we work all the time and, and there's no problem that we can't outwork and we just have to.

[00:03:00] Put one foot in front of the other. And it wasn't until that started to implode and I really got some, some mentorship in my life that helped me go like, well, you know, there's the component of doing things right and then it's, are you doing the right things and the ability to refocus that energy in a more productive, healthy way.

Jenny Lynne: 

And where in 

that journey did you have that moment where you were like, oh, maybe I'm not working on the right things? 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, so I, let's see if I rewind the tape. Uh, back to when I was 19 years old, I was still working quite a bit and had went to university. I got assaulted by four football players when I went to university and it derailed my plans of being an investing consultant, working my way up the corporate pyramid of an investment firm and then branching out and doing my own thing.

And when that was gone, I'd also had to rebuild my whole identity cuz I went from 175 pounds of athlete to 130 pounds skin and [00:04:00] bone. I'd lost my income. Cause most of the things I did were physical labor and. Um, I'd lost a relationship. I'd lost my whole sense of security so that that really turned, okay, what am I gonna do now into, I just fell back into those bad habits of working 16, 18 hour days, and in this case, it just was in the gambling industry, which was even tied up more with the wrong, wrong crowd that I didn't wanna live with.

Ended up purchasing my first traditional business and adopting the kids at the same. And 80 hour to a hundred hour work weeks weren't conducive as a brand new person trying to figure out how to be a husband, how to be a father, and go through the foster adoptive programs with the state and lead 10 to 15 employees on payroll with something left over for the family when I was done, and that's where I started to make the shift of going, there has to be a better way, but I didn't know how until I had somebody come into my life.

Probably early twenties, [00:05:00] uh, six months to 18 months after that, and took me under their wing and started to help me see the light, so to speak. 

Jenny Lynne: So I'd love to dive a little bit deeper into that, that moment of being pulled under somebody's wing. Where were you at in the moment It happened.

What did it, what did it look like and feel like? 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, it was, gosh, what did it feel? Uh, a breath of fresh air. When I finally got the offer to work with somebody that had been down the road further, it's kinda like when you're talking about a piece of the map, This was the person that not only had the map, they had sketched the extra paths in it that they had taken and, and all those kind of things.

And one of my primary influencers, he'd built the largest privately owned chain of pharmacies in the whole state of Washington. Commercial real estate walk-in clinics. Very successful from a financial perspective business owner, but also, legacy for his family cuz he had gone through very similar circumstances when he was in his, younger years.

And now [00:06:00] he was paying it forward and within a handful of months before really getting to get connected with him and pick some of his brain. I was in the, the stereotypical entrepreneurial peaks and valleys of going backwards just to make payroll, crying in the shower as the sole breadwinner for the family.

And um, yeah, it felt like a breath of fresh air. When a handful of months, even before being on that path, I felt like my whole world was imploding and yeah. I think that's probably answering your question. 

Jenny Lynne: Yeah. And people don't, often take enough time to really acknowledge what you just said. So I wanna, I wanna pause there for a moment.

?There is moments in entrepreneurship where we are crying in the shower because we can't make payroll. Like that's a very, very real part of the, the difficulty of starting and running a business and it's hard. It's really hard. 

Jesse Johnson: Oh, man. Yep. And it's this constant tension point. One of the things that I had to learn early on was how to prioritize [00:07:00] relationships.

And we hear that if everything's important then nothing's important. And if you take that principle back into our relationships, then it's, is my employee at my company more important than my kids? And I don't think it's a black and white static answer. I think there's a, a continuum and attention point that we have to manage on a consistent basis.

But when you've had employees for a while or you've got people, you have them and their kids and their families and their community that you're looking out for, which when you're creating and making jobs, available to them. That weight sits on your shoulders if you don't know how to put it in perspective.

And so that was definitely me. I was so firmly rooted in, I have to do it all. I have to be it all. I can't let them down. And it took the responsibility off of that individual to take care of their family and make things, which was unhealthy, but mm-hmm. 

Jenny Lynne: Yeah, these are [00:08:00] the tough, tight ropes that we walk.

 This mutually co-created relationships that are so much a part of business, but mm-hmm. A great entrepreneur does have a high sense of responsibility. So we're kind of back to your original theme, which is when do you need to pause and not keep taking on the responsibility, but create this network of co-created relationships that can carry some of that burden.

How did you make that shift? Because I'm hearing example after example of that. 

Jesse Johnson: Well, the funny part is, I'm one of the most analytical people on the planet that has to thrive on systems. So I had to build a system to realize it was my responsibility to take the time to pause and assess my responsibilities.

And it's, it's funny when you say it out loud that way, but how I hacked my brain to prioritize the time was to realize that you can't pour from an empty cup. You can't get what you don't have. And so if I wasn't gonna assess those, [00:09:00] Myself and I was actually, taking off the most important responsibility that I have as a, a leader, as a father, as, a community leader, all those kind of things to go, where am I best suited to be and how do I maintain those healthy rhythms of replenishment rest and mm-hmm.

All the other RS that you could throw in there. 

Jenny Lynne: And I'm glad you said that, , the filling the cup thing comes up as a theme for good reason. We have to have a full cup to be able to give back. where was your cup at? Where did it need to be and what did you do to close that gap so that your cup specifically for your, like you said, your psyche was full.

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, I think my cup was, so empty. It was, Like a negative bank account that had been overdrawn forever and it almost felt like you couldn't get another loan cuz you damaged your line of credit for so long. And, and it was challenging. That's where it was, but I knew that's where it shouldn't live or shouldn't be.[00:10:00] 

But I was running on empty so much and I had to realize that if I didn't ask for help or accept help or receive from other people, I. By consequence, I was actually taking away their opportunity to give and to fill voids for other people. And then I put it in a perspective for me of man, if I didn't allow them to help me do this, no matter how, meaningless the tasks seemed to me, or, any of those things that I was actually hurting them and our relationship.

And so I went from really negative to yeah, I, I need some help in raising my hand and going, I don't know what I need to ask, but I know that this isn't working. And I surrounded myself with people that could ask the right questions, pull it out at me, and then before you knew it, I became more aware and more equipped to actually go, oh, that's what's going on in my heart.

That's what's going on in my finances. That's what's going on in my relationships. And then I would seek people out that had expertise in that area and ask them to where, [00:11:00] I don't have it all figured out, none of us do. Right. It's that constant tension point. But I'm very blessed that I have very competent and um, like-minded individuals with the same value system that help keep me in check if I start to drift or they're not afraid to come to the aid.

You know what I mean? When, when you need that support, which we all need. 

Jenny Lynne: Yeah. So when you have that highly analytical personality and you have to kind of pack your brain a little bit, you talked about needing to have others surround you to help you pull out the questions.

\ Sometimes there's a dissonance and we're highly analytical and we wanna do stuff on our own. Right? And then, there's the feeling and the connectedness part of it, and the instinct and allowing some of that to get extracted and pulled out, and they can sometimes war with each other. So how did you bridge that gap between the two?

Yeah, the two very important parts of our psyche. 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah. Again, the funny part is I tapped into the more emotional side and the, the deeper sense [00:12:00] by building a system of realizing that. I'm only operating on part of what I was gifted. If I don't tap into that side, and it's kinda like you wouldn't drive your car if you knew that four cylinders in an eight cylinder vehicle weren't working.

So how are you gonna connect the dots and make sure that that shift happens? Sometimes you have to go ask the mechanic if you don't know how to do it. That's kind of how I was thinking about it at the time. And so then I would find people that would teach me how to smile. It was funny because I've got a big heart.

I care deeply about individuals. I am very excited . But I've had several people go, well, Jesse, if that's the case, why don't you inform your face? Like, 

Jenny Lynne: I love that. I'm sorry. That's great. 

Jesse Johnson: And learning how to be expressive and have fun and lighten up. And, it's hilarious now because I see some of the individuals that knew me free this ship.

 When I'd walked around with a poker face on all the time and, and was so in my head and nobody could tell what [00:13:00] was going on to now, oftentimes I get more complimented on my humor and my joy in different areas or how present I am with individuals and like, the compliments have completely shifted from you're a hard worker, you get stuff done.

I know if I hand it to you, it's, it's gonna get accomplished, to, man, that was the funniest thing I've ever heard, or that was so fun to be around, or it was all of the more emotional connected pieces that I'm finding people often when I'm doing a workshop or I'm working with them as a client or just as a friend over a dinner, that's what they connect with the most.

Jenny Lynne: That's amazing. So it sounds like the systems you built helped you integrate those two parts a little bit more seamless. 

Jesse Johnson: Yeah, I would say so.

Jenny Lynne: So what do your systems look like? I'm, uh, you know, as a kinesthetic, toucher, feeler, let's, like, let's get detailed, are we talking spreadsheets, frameworks? Like what, what does a system look like to you?

Jesse Johnson: Uh, spreadsheets are definitely up there. Uh, I think [00:14:00] that that would be one, 

I think some of the intangible systems that aren't quite softwares to automate something or like a scheduling system, right? You can go, okay, I'm gonna take my year and go, what major conferences do I need to be at? And then you break it into the quarter and set your major rocks and then going down in the month and then in the week and then the day, and then you have your people to call and people to meet with list that then backfill those as time frees up.

But you can automate a lot of that with things today of, uh, scheduling links and stuff you can send to people and they can book in and and whatnot. I think the thought process systems and prioritization has been more the big ones that I try to lead people through, even to leveling relationships of level one, being my future spouse and my kids, and going.

Okay. Every decision I get faced with and every project I take on, I have to evaluate, is this helping that level of relationships in a positive, neutral, or negative way, or is it affecting them in one of those [00:15:00] paths? And then I boil it down into level two, level three, and level four. And or reevaluate those quarterly as touch bases, and I could nerd out with you for hours on all these different systems.

I'm sure. 

Jenny Lynne: Well, 

relationships are, you know, they're so fluid, but understanding where they sit in that and how they're moving, um, and how that fluidity is flowing is incredibly important as things move, because, you know, they don't always sit in the same place at the same time. But it's important to understand that ecosystem and where you're investing your time, your energy, and your heart.

Uh, and in order to make your greatest impact in a way that is mutually beneficial, like everybody's leaning in together and co-creating something versus something that just drains you. So it sounds like you found a way to do that, to talk to that left part of your brain and make it work with the right part.

Yeah. 

So you were there with your kids, you had someone take you under your wings. What was at the core of that transformation? 

Jesse Johnson: I tapped back into the goals that I had when I was a kid, [00:16:00] right? And it was the, I wanted to change the world. I think the path that I picked when I was a kid initially was to be a professional quarterback in the nfl.

Not because I loved football. I didn't even know at the time. I, I decided that's what I wanted to do at six years. And it was largely, uh, as I evaluate that now, was because the people that I respected that were older than me would watch Monday Night Football and they would see the people on the screen and they would interact in big ways, and the people on the screen impacted them.

And I saw a quarterback get interviewed one time, and I went. Man, I could be a role model to people or I could do that. And so I picked that path and then along the way, I just lost who that was. And so then by the time I was taken under the wing of, of other individuals that could help me, and I had responsibility and I really saw firsthand what I needed to do to lead my immediate family, I went, man, I need to tap back into that.

And I just kept cultivating that piece of how am I gonna impact the world? Cause I'd already made the [00:17:00] decision. And that, that led me into where I now believe that I exist to amplify significance in people's lives. That's super clear, super simple. Everybody has a significant contribution to playing society, and I was gifted with strengths and talents and resources to help amplify that to as many people.

 There's lots of people that have different pieces of the puzzle and map that are all vastly different, but are all around these core tenants.

And with the right examples, then we can start to go, oh, if they can do it, so can I. Or if they shifted that, then so can I, I can relate to. And we start to make the necessarily changes. So yeah, that's where I w I went to. They helped me clean up spiritually, socially, emotionally, physically, financially.

Realized that not one was more important than the other, but most people spent almost all their time on the financial component. Mm-hmm. So they helped me build a path to then get that piece almost out of the equation and build some assets that allowed me to have freedom and flexibility in my life to pick different opportu.[00:18:00] 

 and now I just very am committed to that process of impacting and, and moving forward with people and, and screaming it from the rooftops that just because it's been this way, it doesn't have to continue to go that way or just because that might be your history.

It doesn't have to be your destiny. You get to pick. 

Jenny Lynne: Uh, yeah. And I'm really glad you talked about solving the financial first. We tend to spend too much of our time there, but also there is a reality that if the financial isn't to the point where it can physically provide your needs, it makes it very difficult.

I was talking with a group of entrepreneurs over this last week at a conference I was at about the veil. It can leave over you, um, if you're concerned about money. And so how did you take that problem and say, this is what it needs to look like for me to let go of this and start moving into these other areas that I also have to focus on?

Jesse Johnson: Man, that is a great question. Now, um, I'd also point out like that is the [00:19:00] tension point on when it comes to the financial walk of life, you have a couple of extremes, and one extreme is the people that are so frugal. They're so risk averse, they're so detailed, dot the is, cross the t's, all the investment, everything.

But it's super selfish in my opinion cause it's all about them. And then you get to the other end of the spectrum and there's the people that are like, ah, fast and loose. So yeah, I'll put it on a credit card. It's all gonna work out and, and everything that then they end up being a burden on their family.

Sometimes if circumstances don't change or they don't transform .Me, it was back to. Okay, let's build a system. Well, I need to be awareness of where my money's going. I need to be aware of or drive awareness to that. And then I need to drive awareness to how much money do I actually need, not just one.

Mm-hmm. And that, I think that's another one where oftentimes people go, well, I really need this. Uh, no you don't. And then once I did have those needs, and then, okay, well what do I actually want? That gives you a gap [00:20:00] of if this is what I need to make, this is what I wanna make, then you can start to reverse engineer that of, is the revenue model I'm currently participating in gonna help me get there faster, more efficiently, or with less risk?

Um, will it ever get me there at all? If the answer is no, I need to shift. Yeah. I think it's insane because we, we have all these circumstances in our daily life. If somebody plugged in, GPS coordinates for example, and they put in two different key coordinates where they're currently at and then where it is that they want to get to.

And then on a lot of modern day cell phones for people that have smartphones, it's, that gives you also transit op options. Are you walking? Are you riding a bike? Are you taking a public transit? Are you flying? And all of those are very different vehicle. Well, a lot of people are in a revenue model that will never get them to their goals, but because they've never evaluated how much money they need, um, which is kind of where they're at, what kind of goals that they have that they're stretching towards, they don't know how to pick those.

And I think that [00:21:00] once they understand those, then you can get people around you, uh, whether it's a coach, consultant, a mentor, anybody like that, that can come alongside and go, Hey, have you thought about these transferable skills going into this market or restructuring it this way, the same way that somebody would do a remodel on their house, when they start to have more kids and they need more space.

It's just a changing situation that starts with making the decision that you're gonna do the awareness, that you're gonna get aware of what your circumstances landscape is. 

Jenny Lynne: I agree completely. We undervalue sometimes a sustainably growing business that is healthy from the get-go and makes adjustments when it's not.

And valuing that over the size of the pie, shall we say so. Mm-hmm. It's one of the philosophies that helped me a lot in my last business was focusing more on sustainable growth versus, um, I'm gonna run after a bigger and bigger and bigger pie. Um, I can honestly say yes, I never was rich, but I never didn't make a solid profit and a full-time income the whole time I had that business.

And that's really what most of us want. Right.[00:22:00] 

Jesse Johnson: When we first met and I got to listen to your, I think it was episode one of your podcasts, and you were really sharing a lot of your story and you talked about getting into work and how you didn't struggle with a lot of the challenges that most people had even though you weren't a unicorn founder and things like that.

And I think that comparison disease gets in for a lot of people today that that makes them get back into workaholism. They buy the house that they can't afford to impress the people they don't care about. And now that shifted their needs of income and it pushed everything back outta whack to where now they can't take a step down in pay, they can't do an exercise about how much value are they getting financially from what they're choosing to do for an income versus the vitality that it's giving them.

And you can build all those systems and still be running harder than you need to. And I think that was what really hit me the most was, man, I don't, I don't wanna wake up five years from now and hate everything I'm doing.

So how can I lay the blueprints now? And it's easier to fix [00:23:00] it on, on paper, in this, this plan than down the road, even without a crystal ball, to know exactly what the economy's gonna do or what's happening. 

Jenny Lynne: So it sounds like a huge part of this was understanding how your brain worked and creating systems that helped you move from where you were to where you wanted to be. Surrounding yourself with other people that were a little bit ahead of where you were, that and allowing them to help you and vice versa.

You've spent a lot of time helping those who are trying to walk the path that you've walked. So being able to take not only help people, but also accept help from others, and then getting really clear on what you actually need and actually want and architecting a balanced work and life that enables that.

Jesse Johnson: , I think that's, I think that's great. 

Jenny Lynne: So, what's the one thing that you learned that you really want people to walk away from this? 

Jesse Johnson: I want them to really firmly root themselves and why are they here?

And if they had a halftime talk with themselves. [00:24:00] Their end goal when they're on their deathbed, what is it that they wanna be remembered for or having lived the life of or things like that. And then reverse engineering that, that. And the four major points of that is just why we do what we do, who we do it with, or who can help us do it. How what we do works and what it is.

Jenny Lynne: Well, thank you so much, Jesse. Your Y showed up today and I'm super grateful to have you, jesse is the founding c e o of Champion Empire. Uh, he's a Washington based collection of businesses and professionals that are united to support free enterprise, small business, and the community in which we live.

Jesse's vision for Champion is to foster more generosity than any other leadership network and to be known as the trusted guide for information and resources needed to grow. He has been a business owner from a young age, which he talked about today, as well as a devoted father of six, a lifelong learner, and an advisor to those who want to make an impact rather than just an income.

You can find out how to contact him in the show notes. And Jesse, 

thank you. 

Jesse Johnson: Thank you. [00:25:00] Thanks for having me, Jenny. Really appreciate it. My pleasure.