Can We Love Our Kids AND Still Want Our Own Identity?

By 8 a.m., some of us feel like we’ve already lived a full day.

We’re up early trying to work out, get kids fed, get everyone out the door—and still show up like we’ve got it together. Meanwhile our nervous system is already buzzing from constant needs, noise, and decisions.

In this episode, I’m naming it:
 the overstimulation, the mental load, and the exhaustion that hits before your actual day even starts.

I also touch on a couple parenting things that have been on my mind lately—nothing preachy, just real observations and questions we’re all kind of thinking but not always saying out loud.

And then we zoom out.

We get into the bigger conversation around women, identity, careers, and motherhood—sparked by the Emma Grede debate—and what it actually looks like to run a household while still trying to be yourself.

Because the question a lot of women are quietly carrying is:
 Can I be a great mom and still feel like me?

If that’s ever crossed your mind, this one’s for you.

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Transcript

Welcome And Morning Overload

Keri Croft 0:00

Hey there, you beautiful badass. Badass. Welcome to the Carrie Croft Show. Wow. Good morning to you and welcome back to the Carrie Croft Show and another solo cast. So I'm over, I'm over stemmed today. I'm gonna just come out and say it. Some mornings, I legitimately feel like by the time 8 a.m. rolls around and I drop Dane off at school, I'm like, oh my god, like it's wild. It is wild out there with young kids. I love it so much. Nobody in this world, well, I'm not gonna say nobody in this world, but I would um uh task you to find someone who worked as hard as I did to have this family. I am so grateful for every single waking moment with them. And and I'm overstimulated sometimes. And this morning was one of those times where I was like, why, why? Like, why am I so why do I feel like this? Like it's like I like my nerves are frayed. And it's because like you're trying to get up at four o'clock in the morning to work out and then get enough, you know, get it done before the first kid wakes up and needs you. And then the second kid's up, gets up and needs you. And then you're trying. I find myself trying on days where I have to look um, you know, halfway decent, like not hammered shit, like dirtbag, like I like to walk around looking like. If I have to look halfway decent, then I'm still fighting the good fight, trying to put makeup on while Kyle's trying to also use my eyelash curler and I'm trying to like humor her and not be so about the task that I'm not letting her little mind, you know, play makeup with mom and then Dane wants chicken nuggets and you know, all the things. It's like there's nothing new about it. It's an old story. It's like the juggling act of a lot of times the woman. And uh again, ever so grateful. But is it okay every once in a while just to be like, oh, oh, I just dropped you off at school and I feel like I just fought the good fight, and now I gotta go to work, and now I gotta fight the good fight here, and then I gotta go home and I gotta fight the good fight again. And then you wonder why you're fucking exhausted. So, anyways, another thing, too, before I get into this topic, another reason why I'm a little bit um, I have a couple things like screen time is on my mind a lot. And then also these e-bikes, these e-scooters have been really bugging me lately. And I don't know if like someone needs to clue me in on what's going on. But I will tell you, like, since the weather's gotten warm, and I I mean, this isn't the first time I've seen this. I've seen this now for several years. And I get it, they're fun and they go faster and they're more efficient. It's like the way of the world, et cetera. But I need to say this out loud as a parent or just as a concerned citizen in the UA bubble. I have seen several kids rolling up Brandon Road, and I mean rolling. I don't know how fast these fuckers go, but the the one kid was like, I don't even think he had a helmet on, and he was watching. I mean, we're talking like tentative, like this. He was his attention. He is on a scooter watching his phone, just ripping up Brandon Road. And so I guess as a parent, as a human being with common sense, it's not clocking to me. It's not clocking. But again, I don't know if I just need to get with the times or if it's like, oh, Johnny's got one and Ashton's got one, and oh, we have to like buy our kids the you know, the scooters because this kid has one. Hello? Hi, honey, what's up? That was nice of you. I'm on I'm doing a solo cast right now, so you're on you're on video. Yeah. No, that's fine. Are you still there? Okay. So I'm not trying to like, you know, ruffle any feathers, but instinctually, when I see these kids ripping up Northam, ripping up Brandon Road, it something goes off my my spidey senses, my mom instincts, just my concerned citizen instincts, especially when they are on their phones. So help me with this. Like, help me understand is this safe? Am I completely out of my mind? Anyway, I don't want to derail too long, but I just I needed to say that out loud. Okay, that's my soapbox on the e-scooter situation. And I'm also having a little um, you know, angst about the screen time. That is for another day. So today's solo cast, um, speaking of parenting and momming and juggling and you know, being overstimulated, I can't help but notice a lot of the stuff um right now swirling around. Emma greed. And, you know, I'm just seeing a lot of things about women empowerment and the shifting dynamic of the role in the home and the opportunities that women have today that they didn't have. Um, you know, even our moms, you know, it's like it was unheard of to have a career and to have your own money and to be able to like call out what you really truly authentically want in life. And so I have some thoughts on it. And I know that Emma Greed is like, I think she's fantastic. Do I have to agree with every single thing she says? No. But I think a lot of times what happens is someone like Emma shows up on the spot and you see her everywhere and you hear the sound bites and the things that she's saying, and you know, you get triggered. So, wherever whatever space you're in in life, that will determine how you receive her message. And so, one of the things that she said that I found so just superb, not necessarily because I agree with exactly what she's saying, but it's the idea, it's like, let's elevate and look at really like wow, like we're having these conversations right now about women. And I'm excited about that. I'm excited about the idea that it's becoming more of the norm for a female to go out and make money and have an identity outside of being a mom. And yeah, I wanted to be a mom. I love being a mom. I fought really, really hard, really hard to be a mom. And I also want to have a separate identity other than being a mom. And hear me out. It's not just because, it's not just selfish, like, oh, well, I just, you know, I also want to be Carrie and I also want to, you know, have this and that. I want to show my kids, you know, our job is to show our children through modeling, through what we are doing and through how we are walking through the world. We are showing them what's possible. And I know that, I know that so clearly watching my dad. You know, my mom and dad were divorced when I was very, very young. I was probably six or seven. And so my dad ended up getting um a job at a plant, an automotive plant. And he had the work ethic, the people skills, a little bit of luck, all the things wrapped up in his favor to like take his career off. And he worked his ass off. And it's not about like working your ass off necessarily. I think though, but with my dad, like him not being physically present all the time in my life. However, his influence for me is the strongest of any influence I've had in my life because he, by what he did, by how he walked through the world, he showed me what is possible. For me, looking back, it's the greatest thing he could have ever, the greatest gift he could have given me. And so looking at Emma Greed and not just Emma, but all these women today who are breaking the norm, who are, who are out there with a career and making money and making the moves, you know, you can't do all things all the time. And so one of the things that Emma said really got a lot of controversy, and it was around how, you know, she's I think it's like she spends an hour on the weekends, like three hours max with her kids. And she may have said something like she spends 20 minutes a day during the week. Well, okay, you want to jump on that and judge her. And I'm excited about it. And I think it does, it it really does bring up this idea and this question around the modern family, which looks so many different ways today, right? But today we're talking about, you know, the female playing either the main role of the breadwinner or, you know, an equal breadwinner in the household. And so when you look at it that way, all these traditional preconceived ideas that you have about a woman's role in the home, that is game over. I like the conversation around dividing up the house, dividing up the things that have to happen to run the house. Because again, and I always say this about stay-at-home parents. They are CEOs of the house, and it is a huge job. It's the most important job. And I feel that thoroughly in my heart. And so I feel like, you know, when you hear me say all this, I don't want to have the stay-at-home parents feel slighted because you are doing like truly God's work. I mean, I it is the craziest, most wild job in the world. But the point I'm making is there is inventory to be moved in the house. There is HR that you're dealing with every day, with the children, uh, the partner, there's accounting with the finances, there is maintenance and operations with everything that goes on with the house, um, whether it's a shower is, you know, broken or something with the landscaping. I mean, there's there isn't a complete operation that has to be run within the house. So when you have a household where the female is not in the traditional role where she can stay there all day and handle that operation, well, then you guys have to divide and conquer. And the way that it looked in the 60s and the 50s, if you had a stay-at-home mom, and the way it looks today is completely different. So I don't know. I'm just really I'm fascinated by it. I'm so excited about it. And I just think, as women, regardless of whether you're in a phase of life right now where you are staying at home and you are the CEO of the house, whether you are just kind of thinking about hatching something and like really wanting to step out on your own and you're a little bit nervous, or if you're out there bawling out, you know, I think we need to support each other and to support the conversation and the idea of how exciting this is right now that we're having these types of conversations and that women are in the hunt, they're in the game, and they are owning their financial freedom, they're owning their identity, they're owning their place in the world along with being a mom. They're doing this and they are a mom. That was my rant for whoever needs to hear it today. And until next time, keep moving, baby.