Why “doing everything right” is often the problem after 40

Register for Louise’s free masterclass here:https://www.louisedigbynutrition.com/meno-belly

Ever feel like you're doing everything 'right' but still can't shake off the weight? Join Louise Digby on the Thriving Metabolism Podcast as she explores why traditional advice might be failing women over 40. From hormonal shifts to insulin resistance, cortisol imbalance, thyroid function, gut health, and nervous system dysregulation, Louise dives deep into the biochemical changes that occur with age. Learn how to address root causes rather than symptoms, and discover a personalised, sustainable approach to wellness. Don't miss this holistic guide to understanding your unique metabolism and finally finding the support your body needs. Tune in now to reclaim your energy, balance, and wellbeing!

00:00 Introduction: The Frustration of Doing Everything Right

00:39 Welcome Back: Podcast Hiatus and Gratitude

01:04 The Good Girl Trap: Why Old Methods Fail

01:37 Understanding Your Body After 40

02:19 The Stress Response: How Your Body Reacts

04:30 Client Story: Sarah's Journey

06:05 Root Causes: Insulin Resistance and Cortisol

10:42 Thyroid Health: The Metabolic Thermostat

12:35 Gut Health: The Hidden Key

14:21 Nervous System: The Missing Piece

16:22 Conclusion: Personalized Support for Lasting Change

22:52 Call to Action: Join the Masterclass

23:21 Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Feel Good

Register for my free masterclass: https://www.louisedigbynutrition.com/meno-belly

Transcript

 You know that feeling when you're doing everything "right" — and I mean everything — and your body just... won't respond?

You're eating well. You're moving your body. You're getting your steps in. Maybe you've even cut back on wine, you're prioritizing sleep, you're managing stress as best you can. And yet, the weight won't budge. Or worse, it's creeping up.

And here's the thing: you're not imagining it. You're not broken. And you're definitely not lazy.

But what if I told you that the very thing you're doing — trying to do everything right — might actually be part of the problem?

Welcome back to the thriving metabolism podcast. I'm so glad you're here, and I'm so glad to be back! I've taken a 6 or so month hiatus from podcasting, mostly because it's a hell of a lot of work and my actual client-facing work got super busy. Today, we're talking about something I see all the time in my practice: women over 40 who are stuck in what I call the "good girl trap." You're following all the rules. You're being disciplined. You're doing what worked in your thirties. And it's not working anymore.

So let's talk about why. And more importantly, let's talk about what's actually going on beneath the surface — because once you understand that, everything starts to make sense.

Let's start here: after 40, your body is not the same body it was at 30. 

Your hormones are shifting. Your metabolism is recalibrating. Your stress response is different. Your sleep architecture changes. Even the way your body processes carbohydrates and stores fat is fundamentally different.

And yet, most of the advice out there is still built for a 30-year-old metabolism. Eat less, move more. Cut carbs. Do more cardio. Intermittent fasting. Calorie deficit.

And listen, I'm not saying those things are inherently bad. But when you apply them to a body that's already under metabolic stress — a body that's navigating perimenopause or menopause, a body that's been dieting on and off for decades — they often backfire.

Because here's what's really happening: your body is trying to protect you.

When you restrict calories, when you over-exercise, when you push through on five hours of sleep and three cups of coffee, your body interprets that as stress. And stress — whether it's physical, emotional, or metabolic — triggers a survival response.

Your body doesn't know you're trying to fit into your jeans. It thinks you're in danger. So it slows down your metabolism. It holds onto fat, especially around your middle. It ramps up cravings. It makes you feel tired, foggy, irritable.

And the more you try to "fix" it with the same tactics — more restriction, more exercise, more willpower — the deeper you dig that hole.

This is the paradox. The harder you try, the worse it gets.

if you're feeling seen right now, if you're thinking, "Oh my god, that's me" — I want you to know that this is not your fault.

You've been doing what you were told to do. You've been following the rules. You've been trying so hard. And the rules are just... wrong. Or at least, incomplete.

Because what we're not talking about enough is the root cause. We're not talking about what's actually driving the weight gain, the fatigue, the cravings, the stubborn belly fat.

We're not talking about insulin resistance. We're not talking about cortisol dysregulation. We're not talking about thyroid function, or gut health, or chronic inflammation, or the way your nervous system has been stuck in fight-or-flight for years.

We're just talking about calories in, calories out. And that model is broken.

Let me tell you about a client I worked with recently. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah came to me completely frustrated. She was 47, eating clean, working out five days a week, tracking every bite. And she'd gained 15 pounds in two years.



when we dug into her labs, her history, her daily routine, here's what we found: her fasting insulin was elevated. Her cortisol pattern was completely flat. Her thyroid was sluggish. And she was eating about 1200 calories a day while doing high-intensity workouts.

Her body wasn't betraying her. Her body was responding exactly as it should to chronic stress and under-fueling. It was holding on for dear life.

And the solution wasn't to eat less or exercise more. It was to do the opposite. To eat more of the right things, to dial back the intensity, to support her hormones and her metabolism, and to help her nervous system feel safe again.

Within three months, her energy was back. Her sleep improved. Her cravings disappeared. And yes, she started losing weight — but more importantly, she felt like herself again.

That's what happens when you address the root cause instead of just trying harder at the same broken approach.

So let's talk about what's really going on. Let's talk about the root causes. And I'm going to go deeper here because I think understanding the physiology is actually empowering. It helps you see that this isn't about willpower or discipline. It's about biology.

First, insulin resistance. This is huge, and it's wildly underdiagnosed in women over 40.

Insulin is the hormone that helps your body use glucose for energy. When you eat carbohydrates, your blood sugar rises, and your pancreas releases insulin to shuttle that glucose into your cells.

But when you've been eating a standard Western diet for decades — lots of processed carbs, sugar, frequent meals, snacking — your cells can become resistant to insulin's signal. 

So your pancreas has to pump out more and more insulin to get the job done. And high insulin levels tell your body to store fat, especially around your abdomen. They also make it nearly impossible to burn fat for fuel. You're literally locked in fat-storage mode.

And here's the kicker: you can have normal blood sugar and still be insulin resistant. Your fasting glucose might look fine on a standard blood test, but underneath, your body is working overtime to keep it that way. Your pancreas is pumping out extra insulin to compensate.

This is why so many women are told, "Your labs are fine," when they clearly don't feel fine.

And the standard advice — eat small frequent meals, have a snack every few hours, make sure you're getting whole grains — can actually make insulin resistance worse. Because every time you eat, you're triggering an insulin response. You're never giving your body a break. You're never allowing insulin levels to come down so your body can actually access stored fat for energy.

Now, I'm not saying you need to do intermittent fasting or go keto. Those can be tools, but they're not right for everyone, and they're definitely not the whole answer. What I am saying is that understanding insulin resistance changes the conversation. It's not about willpower. It's about metabolic health.

Then there's cortisol. Your stress hormone. And this one is so misunderstood.

Cortisol is not the enemy. You need it. It helps you wake up in the morning, it gives you energy, it mobilizes glucose when you need it, it's part of your body's natural rhythm.

In a healthy system, cortisol is high in the morning and gradually decreases throughout the day, reaching its lowest point at night so you can sleep.

But chronic stress — and I'm talking about physical stress, like under-eating or over-exercising, as well as emotional stress, like work deadlines, family responsibilities, financial pressure, caregiving, relationship strain — keeps cortisol elevated. Or it flattens your cortisol curve entirely, so you're exhausted in the morning and wired at night.

And when cortisol is chronically high or dysregulated, it promotes fat storage, especially visceral fat around your organs. It breaks down muscle tissue to convert it to glucose. It disrupts your sleep. It increases cravings for sugar and carbs because your body is looking for quick energy. It suppresses your immune system. It interferes with thyroid function. It contributes to insulin resistance.



And again, the "solution" most women are given — eat less, exercise more — just adds more stress to an already stressed system. You're pouring gasoline on a fire.

What your body actually needs is to feel safe. It needs rest. It needs nourishment. It needs to downregulate.

But we live in a culture that glorifies hustle and grind and pushing through. And for women especially, there's this expectation that we should be able to do it all — career, family, health, relationships, personal growth — and do it all perfectly.

And our bodies are paying the price.

Let's talk about thyroid for a second, because this is another piece of the puzzle that gets missed all the time.

Your thyroid is your metabolic thermostat. It produces hormones — primarily T4 and T3 — that control how fast or slow your metabolism runs. They affect every cell in your body.

And your thyroid is incredibly sensitive to stress, to calorie restriction, to nutrient deficiencies, to inflammation, to gut health, to cortisol levels.

When you're under chronic stress or under-eating, your body down-regulates thyroid function as a protective mechanism. It's trying to conserve energy. So it converts less T4 into active T3, or it produces more reverse T3, which blocks thyroid receptors.

A lot of women over 40 have subclinical hypothyroidism — meaning their thyroid is sluggish, but not quite "bad enough" to be diagnosed or treated by conventional standards. Their TSH might be in the normal range, but they're experiencing all the symptoms: fatigue, weight gain, hair loss, dry skin, brain fog, constipation, feeling cold all the time.

And when your thyroid is underactive, everything slows down. Your metabolism, your digestion, your energy, your mood, your ability to burn fat. And no amount of willpower or calorie counting is going to override that.

You need to support your thyroid. And that means addressing the underlying stressors, ensuring you're getting enough nutrients like iodine, selenium, zinc, and iron, supporting your gut health, and sometimes, yes, working with a practitioner who understands functional thyroid testing and treatment.



Your gut is home to trillions of bacteria — your microbiome — and these bacteria affect everything. They produce neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. They regulate your immune system. They influence your hormones, including estrogen metabolism. They affect your ability to absorb nutrients. They even communicate with your brain through the gut-brain axis.

And if you've got gut dysbiosis — an imbalance of good and bad bacteria — or leaky gut, where the  lining of your intestines becomes permeable and allows particles to escape into your bloodstream, or low stomach acid, or poor digestion, your body is not going to function optimally.

You might be eating all the right foods, but if you're not digesting and absorbing them properly, you're not getting the nutrients you need. And if your gut is inflamed, that inflammation is systemic. It affects your metabolism, your hormones, your immune system, everything.

And gut issues are incredibly common, especially if you've been stressed, or on antibiotics, or dealing with chronic infections or food sensitivities.

This is why some women can eat the exact same diet as someone else and have completely different results. It's not just about what you eat. It's about what your body can do with what you eat.

And finally, let's talk about your nervous system. Because this is the piece that ties everything together.

Your nervous system has two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system, which is your fight-or-flight response, and the parasympathetic nervous system, which is your rest-and-digest response.

In a healthy, balanced system, you move fluidly between the two. You ramp up when you need to — when you're exercising, or responding to a challenge — and then you come back down. You rest. You recover. You digest. You repair.

But if you've been in chronic stress mode for years — and most of us have — your nervous system gets stuck in sympathetic dominance. Fight or flight. Go, go, go. Always on.

And when you're in that state, your body is not prioritizing things like digestion, or repair, or detoxification, or fat burning, or hormone production. It's prioritizing survival. It's shunting blood away from your digestive system and toward your muscles. It's pumping out cortisol and adrenaline. It's keeping you in a state of high alert.

You need to be in a parasympathetic state — rest and digest — for your body to heal, to metabolize properly, to regulate hormones, to let go of excess weight.

if you're constantly pushing, constantly doing, constantly trying to control everything with your mind and your willpower, you're never giving your body the signal that it's safe.

And this is where a lot of the "doing everything right" actually backfires. Because you're approaching your health with the same intensity, the same drive, the same perfectionism that you bring to everything else in your life.

And your body experiences that as stress.

the reason you're stuck is not because you're not trying hard enough. It's not because you lack discipline or willpower or commitment.

It's because the approach you've been using doesn't address what's actually going on underneath.

You can't willpower your way out of insulin resistance. You can't calorie-deficit your way out of cortisol dysregulation. You can't out-exercise a sluggish thyroid or a dysregulated nervous system or a compromised gut.

You need a different approach. One that's rooted in understanding your body's unique metabolic picture. One that addresses the root causes, not just the symptoms. One that works with your physiology, not against it.



And that's where personalized support comes in. Because the truth is, there's no one-size-fits-all protocol. What works for your friend, or your sister, or the influencer you follow on Instagram, might not work for you.

Your body is unique. Your history is unique. Your stressors, your hormones, your gut health, your metabolic state, your nervous system patterns — all of it is unique to you.

Maybe you need to focus on stabilizing blood sugar and improving insulin sensitivity. Maybe you need to support your adrenals and regulate cortisol. Maybe you need to optimize your thyroid function or heal your gut or retrain your nervous system.

Or maybe, like most women, you need a combination of all of those things, addressed in the right order, at the right pace, with the right support.

And that's why cookie-cutter programs and generic advice so often fall short. They're not designed for you. They're designed for an imaginary average person who doesn't actually exist.

What you need is someone who can look at the whole picture. Someone who understands the physiology, who can help you identify what's actually driving your symptoms, who can run the right tests, interpret them correctly, and who can guide you through a process that's tailored to your body, your life, your goals.

Not another diet. Not another set of rules to follow. Not another 30-day challenge or quick fix.

But a real, sustainable shift in how your body is functioning.

And I want to be really clear: this is not about perfection. It's not about doing everything right. In fact, it's about letting go of that need to do everything right, and instead, getting curious about what your body actually needs.

It's about working with your body, not against it. It's about creating the conditions for your metabolism to heal, for your hormones to rebalance, for your gut to repair, for your nervous system to feel safe.

And yes, that takes time. It takes patience. It takes support. It takes a willingness to do things differently than you've done them before.

But here's what I know, from working with hundreds of women just like you: when you address the root causes, when you give your body what it actually needs, things start to shift.



Your energy comes back. You wake up feeling rested instead of dragging yourself out of bed. Your cravings calm down. You stop thinking about food all the time. Your sleep improves. You fall asleep more easily and stay asleep through the night. Your mood stabilizes. You feel more like yourself. Your digestion improves. Your skin clears up. Your hair stops falling out.

And yes, your body starts to let go of the weight it's been holding onto.

Not because you're restricting or forcing or grinding. But because your body finally feels safe enough to do so. Because your metabolism is working again. Because your hormones are balanced. Because your body trusts that it's going to be nourished and supported.

That's when the magic happens. That's when everything clicks into place.

So if you're listening to this and you're thinking, "Okay, I get it. I'm stuck. I've been doing everything right and it's not working. I understand now that there's more going on beneath the surface. What do I do now?"



You don't have to keep spinning your wheels, trying the next diet, the next protocol, the next quick fix, hoping that this time will be different.

You don't have to keep feeling frustrated and confused and like your body is working against you.

You can get support. You can work with someone who understands what's actually going on, who can help you get to the root of it, and who can guide you through a process that's designed for your body, your life, your unique situation.

And that's what I do. I work with women just like you — women who are smart, capable, accomplished, who've been doing all the "right" things and are still stuck — and I help them get to the root of what's going on so they can finally move forward.

We look at the whole picture. We run comprehensive testing to understand your metabolic health, your hormone levels, your gut function, your nutrient status. We identify the root causes. And then we create a personalized plan that addresses those root causes in a way that's sustainable and supportive.

Not another diet. Not more restriction. But real, lasting change.

If that sounds like something you're ready for, then make sure you join me for my next masterclass where I walk you through the pillars of lasting fat loss and thriving after 40, and exactly what it looks like to work with me. The link is in the shownotes, or visit louisedigbynutrition.com and you'll see the link at the bottom of each page. 

Because you deserve to feel good in your body. You deserve to have energy and clarity and confidence. You deserve to stop fighting your body and start working with it.

And it is possible. I see it happen all the time.

Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode gave you some clarity, some validation, and maybe even a little bit of relief.

Your body is just asking for something different.

And when you give it that, everything changes.

I'll see you next time.