Second Place Chasers
Jack and Keith meet up weekly, fuelled by a bottle of cider, to discuss all things FPL. Jack has never won their mini league which has resulted in him often being angry and bitter. Keith has won it several times and regularly reminds Jack. That could explain Jack's anger. Special guests appear every few weeks and good advice appears only a couple of times a season.
Episodes
88 episodes
Enough About My Transvestism
Jack and Keith welcome the Premier League back after a long international break where QPR's keeper kept four clean sheets and saved a penalty, England thrashed Croatia and Ronaldo threw his toys out of the pram. They look forward to finalising ...
Lachlan Tribute
Jack and Keith get together to remember Lachlan. It's basically them talking for a bit between clips of Lachlan and some of his music. You can easily skip the bits where Jack and Keith talk. There's also the hidden EP track Real Love that isn't...
That's Why I'm Not Welsh
Jack and Keith look back on a rather uninspiring gameweek five ahead of a three week long international break. Jack's Chelsea curse intensifies and he reads a poem from an admirer.
I Want Me Palmer Goals
Jack and Keith return after a week off for trivia. Jack brings some trivia to the podcast and reflects on his first week as a new Chelsea fan and is a little smug with his triple captain choice.
Who's Your Football Daddy?
Jack and Keith struggle through their first podcast since Lachlan's passing. We will miss his unwavering love of Chelsea (to the point of delusion) and his ridiculous FPL picks just when his team is doing well, but most of all we will just miss...
Tielemans Is Where?
We're back! Nobody asked for it, but Jack and Keith return for another season of nonsense. Predictions for the final standings in the Premier League, predictions for gameweek one, and a nice uplifting movie review to finish off the show.
Sea Chicken
Jack and Keith return for more nonsense chat. Jack is feeling very smug as a chunk of Keith's lead falls away. Keith distracts by talking about his review on trustpilot and Jack catches seagulls.
Just Hot Air And Shit
Jack and Keith are back for 2026 while Lachlan works his way back to match fitness. Had he been on this podcast there may well have been lots more swearing after the departure of Maresca at Chelsea. I'm sure he'll have plenty left in the tank w...
Idiots
Jack and Keith review the international break, the six-a-side competition, and the trivia. There's also some FPL talk.
Anthony Gordon Blow Up Dolls
Jack and Keith are once again without their Chelsea loving co-host who has just had his stem cell transplant done. It's less fun than watching the Chelsea v Sunderland game on repeat. Meanwhile, Jack has a whole new memorabilia idea for footbal...
Guess Who Else Was German
Jack and Keith seem to be more interested in their six-a-side team than the FPL gameweek. I wonder why? Lachlan goes to Sydney to begin his transition, or transplant, or something, while Chelsea, Leicester, and QPR all lose in the same week.
Dominic Cruciate Ligament
With the end of another international break, Jack and Keith look ahead to gameweek eight and discuss their options. Jack is looking to a tall German to boost his team, while Keith may be taking a more drastic option for his team....
Why Have A Nibble When You Can Have A Chunk?
Jack and Keith have to, once again, make do without Lachlan. Perhaps it was for the best because he had a terrible gameweek score and Chelsea got beaten as well. Jack is now below Keith in all mini leagues, but he swears it is merely a temporar...
The Woodkins Twins
Jack and Keith barely mention Chelsea with the absence of Lachlan, who chose sleep over a phonecall. I'd say he made the correct decision.
The Vegan Episode
Recorded in the middle of gameweek four and during the game updating, Jack, Lachlan, and Keith find plenty to waffle on about. Even veganism.
What Time Is It?
It's a Batalla take over as Jack and Keith are joined by Lachlan and Kyle, who are first and second our mini league. We find out what everyone's plans are for gameweek four and Lachlan and Kyle dismiss the FPL skills of brother Ricky.
What's That Smell?
Jack and Keith are surprised by something they haven't experienced before. Lachlan has a plan. A long term plan. A not totally ridiculous plan. Brace yourselves.
The Touch Of Shit
Jack and Keith look back on their gameweek one scores and predictions. Keith proves that last season's struggles weren't just a flash in the pan. Jack promises to keep his decent start going for the rest of the season, but neither can get near ...
The Last Hurrah
Jack and Keith are joined by Lachlan by phone just before the Europa League final which is a bit like if there was a playoff game to stay in the Premier League. There are predictions for the final gamewek, and Lachlan is nervous about Chelsea's...
The Chelsea Void
Jack and Keith enjoy the serenity and 33% more cider with the absence of Lachlan this week. Another blue and white team take the lions share of the chat as Jack talks about Leicester and a pontiff's farewell pun.
Murphy's Law
Jack, Lachlan, and Keith look forward to double gameweek 32. Lachlan predicts more misery for Liverpool, while Jack just wants Leicester to be put out of theirs.
On The Two-Two Train
Lachlan, Jack, and Keith cover gameweek thirty and thirty-one, welcome back reckless Lachlan, and say goodbye to Leicester.
A Mild Four Nil And A Little Dog In A Handbag
Lachlan returns to the podcast after a one week absence. Jack has a Leicester lament, and we wonder why both Nicky and Ricky are in Thailand at the same time. Perhaps warm weather training for Liverpool fans?