Ep897 Filling the Void

Quitting a bad habit or cutting out cheap dopamine feels like a major win—until the silence sets in.

What most self-improvement advice ignores is that old coping mechanisms served a vital purpose: they filled empty space and regulated your nervous system. When you strip them away, you aren't just left with freedom; you're left with an uncomfortable, restless vacuum.

In this episode, we break down "The Void"—the dangerous post-habit period where most relapses actually happen. 

Transcript

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Yo, it's your man Rahim Rossiel, man. You finally fucking did it. You dig? You finally cut those bad habits off. You understand me? You did everything in your heart to stop eating that fucking junk food. You feel me? You did everything in your heart to get on a better path and stop scrolling. You feel me? Stop doing unnecessary tasks. Stop doing things that were not feeding the good in you. You feel me? You stop that shit. You feel me? Like in the last video, I said, let's work on the what? On the root cause. You fix that root cause. But now after you didn't what? Fix the root cause. Now it's time to what? Fill that old void. Fill that old void of having to go and to do what? Do nothing. Be bored. You feel me? You gotta fill that space up now. You gotta do something with that time that you just got rid of now. You used to be doing dumb shit with it, huh? But now it's the time to what fill that void, man. Today, man, we talking about filling that void because most of the time, man, the hardest part of surviving uncomfortable vacuum that leaves us behind is what filling that space. You feel me? Like filling it deliberately, too. Like doing something with it deliberately. Like we don't want to do something with it deliberately. You feel me? And that's how we get back to square one, starting over. You were selling them what you needed to sell, you was doing what you need to do, but somehow you got back to square one, back to starting always complete over. You feel me? In this video, man, we don't talking about how to break bad habits. We're talking about what happens after the lightweight friction framework. You need to navigate the void without failing to go back into that same thing. You feel me? Like you're not trying to go back through the doing the same shit because you don't got no what plan or no schedule, man. So today I'm gonna help you with that, man. We're gonna talk about it together on why we should feel the things that we know need to be filled up. You dig? So let's get to it, man. And step one, man, is gonna be talking about the void that feels dangerous. You feel me? The void that feels dangerous. Like sometimes it feels dangerous when we gotta fill some spaces. You feel me? Like, why does it feel so dangerous? You feel me? When old habits disappear, it becomes an uncomfortable vacuum characterized as three distinctive challenges, right? Let's get into it, man. Number one, the dopamine drop. No more getting that hit. You feel me? You no more feeling that you no more smoking no more. You just you didn't stop, you didn't stop eating that that food no more. You feel me? You don't feel that sense of happiness no more. You feel me? Your brain was accustomed to it really, predictable hits of comfort or stimulation. When the tap shuts off, baseline dopamine plummets, making everyday feel, feel everyday reality feel temporarily flat, boring, or what, agitated. Like now you get mad because you don't have that thing no more. Now you feel some type of way because you don't do that thing that you used to do no more. So now it's time to what feel a certain type of way, a new way. It's time to get used to feeling another another way. It's time to get a new what dopamine hit on something else. It's time to get joy and excitement from something else. You feel me? Because once that dopamine gone, they're void just like, damn, I used to. No, I can see how y'all do this. It's too boring. No, it's not, man. This is part of life. This is you are more godly when you are what doing things to help your body and and doing things that are what not detrimental or bad for your health at the time, man. When you're doing things that help your dopamine like drugs, um just unlimited alcohol, just doing things that that really it don't help your dopamine, it really just fuck it up, make it make it worse. You feel me? Because once you're off that drug, you don't feel no type of good at all. You feel me? And the next one is the unbuffered emotions, right? Old coping mechanisms act as psychological insulation. Without them, suppress anxiety, fatigue, and extension doubt resurfaced immediately and unfiltered. You feel me? So knowing that your brain, like nigga, this is how we used to cope. I used to eat all day. Wake up eating. I used to go to sleep eating. Now you talking about you just want to eat one time a day? You know how, you know how you make your brain feel like you dumping the bitch, like, bitch, we this is what we used to do. How you gonna stop this? How you gonna stop doing this? This is what we used to do. But guess what? That's part of cutting shit off. You feel me? Full and that's part of filling the void. She gotta be with you if you're trying to fill a void and make something, do something better with that time and do something better with your decision making. You feel me? And the next one is gonna be the fatigue, the decision fatigue of free time. Friction heavy um habits consume cognitive bids wine bandwidth. Without the the difficult setting, every structural minute forces a conscious choice, which is quickly drains the mental energy, right? So if you gotta keep on making decisions about some shit, man, you couldn't miss this shit make the one that you used to make. You gotta you're gonna keep on, you're gonna keep if you keep on not thinking about the decision before you do them, or not preparing yourself for the next day, you're gonna keep on get right back into that old loop. You feel me? And filling that void is gonna be like you did nothing. You're gonna be right back trying to get the root back out because you didn't let this seed grow or you don't let this plant grow again. You don't let this bullshit grow in your life again. So don't get back wrapped on it. You feel me? Like the trap, if you don't deliberately design what occupies this space, your brain surviving wiring will treat you as a quiet thread that automatically reverts to the old habits. You feel me? Or adapt a new or equivalent counterpart proxy. So it's gonna try to do something closer to it. Like let's just do let's do closest to nothing that we can. And it's gonna want that. So you gotta what? Fight that power. Every day's two powers fighting. The one who wants to do nothing and the one who wants to do something. You gotta whoop the one who wants to do nothing. It's like I just slept them the half of my motherfucking day away. Because I'm so so-called tired. You feel me? But I needed that res I yesterday. I did not get to record for the first time and I don't know how long. My kids' birthday was yesterday, so they got me a whole day. One of them started schooling yesterday, the next one started school next week, the next one started. Everybody getting ready to get back to school, but I'm making sure I I get everybody to the water park before they go back to school. You feel me? I'll make sure I get my kids to the water park at least twice a year while I'm in this position in my life. You feel me? You ain't gotta be the the richest or the most disparent. You still can make sure you get that time in with your kids. And yesterday I gave them all my damn time. They got all of it. Every hour, every second was dedicated to them. I had about 20 minutes to to run and work out, probably 30 minutes. By today, it was all eyes on them all day. So that's what we got done yesterday. But today, this time right here, I use this time to what fill up my spaces. I know that I don't get I don't want to revert back into not posting. This is a weave that I'm trying to weave. I heard something yesterday that we're gonna talk about probably this week or next week. But it's anyway, it says, Man, weave those two strings. You feel me? When God says you weaving those two strings, I'm gonna give y'all the uh the gameplay on it tomorrow, probably. But weave them two screens, work your job in what you not do, what you not do, something that you're not getting paid for too. God gonna bless you. God, God sees this time, God sees it. So use this time. And next one is man navigating the post vacuum, right? Instead of trying to fill the void with with high effort, ambitions, new commitments, which leads to burnout and relapse. The goal is to stabilize the empty space using low friction anchors, right? So you're trying to do some stuff that that like don't try to like you're not trying to replace the high doesn't mean bad with a high friction productive habit away. Example swapping late nights, binge watching, reading books, then um with with then textbooks. Instead, transition to a safe neutral, an activity that generates zero guilt, that requires minimal effort, but gives you a hand and a man and a mind a clear into a clear focal point. Example, solitary, scratching out on the floor, shoot on listening to the um the instrumental track, sitting on the porch for five minutes. Okay, so it's saying, nigga, don't try to like be like me. Don't try to hop into these damn books. I've been waiting for a minute to hop in my books. Like everybody's got different lifespans and different lifetime. I had to really, I was ready to make time for my books. Like, nigga, I don't read my books as much as I can. You feel me? So what this will be my new dope for me here. You feel me? Like, do something that's yours, go sit on the porch. You know that you used to always nah. Let me go sit lay on my motherfucking back, listen to some music around this time. You feel me? I'm not finna hop into no shit that's that's gonna make me feel like, God damn, this is too much. You feel me? Don't get into them, don't put yourself in that position. So find something easy for you. Something that you already were doing. You used to play cards back then in the day when you was a kid. Go back into the old habit when you was a kid. When you was a kid, you got a bunch of good habits, probably. Whether like you had a bunch, you weren't sitting there drugging and eating all motherfucking day. You had a bunch of shit you like to go outside and do. Go get on your bike. Go buy your fucking bike. You feel me? Go get you a goddamn bingo card. Go get you a goddamn um, go get you a word puzzle. Go goddamn laying the grass. You feel me? Go do something that you would have did with you if you was a kid right now with no bills. Go do that right there. Go, go sit the fuck down and chill out for a second. You feel me? Like use that time, use for that bullshit for that type of shit, man. And the next one is B, man. Normalize the discomfort. Normalize discomfort of boring, right? Boredom is a system error. It's it's it's the feeling of your baseline neurochemistry resetting. When the void feels uncomfortable, quiet, reframe it. The restlessness is just that my brain rebuilding its natural attention span. You feel me? So when the discomfort strike, man, you know what is going on. It just your body's not used to that quiet time. And when that quiet time comes, well, you need to loud it up with something else. Go get you, play you some instrumentals in your head. You feel me? Go get you some shit that can like, see, it's okay to be boring. Being boring is gonna what take you to where you need to go. You feel me? Every person that's disciplined, they boring. Every person that discipline, they don't, they're not trying to have a lot of shit going on. They know what's a lot of shit going on, just break their discipline. You feel me? They really, they really lonely. Like they really loners. You feel me? They don't mind being alone for a certain period of time. You feel me? Like people who working out training. Man, athletes, these motherfuckers don't. You think somebody getting up every day with them telling me go run? You think somebody getting up with me telling me to go got them and go go run, go do a push-up, go do a nah, nigga. This amount like you're gonna do them by myself anyway. So I'm ready to go by myself. You feel me? So I don't mind being bored. You feel me? Like, I don't mind sitting there listening to a damn podcast while I run. I don't mind sitting there learning and thinking while I'm running, you feel me? Because I can put my mind on autopilot and think about other shit, right? So that's that, man. Be bored. You feel me? Then next thing you mean, protect the perimeter. The void is the most dangerous during low energy hours, late nights or post-workout crashes. Predecide your default response when your energy drops so you don't rely on the time of willpower. One, identify the vulnerable window. Set the uh set the friction free window. The moment I finish, I immediately change into a comfortable clothes and take 10 minutes to walk before opening any screen. You feel me? Like, you just defaulting yourself. You feel me? Like you sitting up the goddamn block. At nighttime, I know I be on bullshit. At nighttime, I need to lock the whole refrigerator up. I need to just give me a bottle. I mean, give me some fruit out there, bitch, and lock it up. Because I go crazy at night. Like, that's why I don't buy like a look at them dumb shit. I don't buy a lot of frozen food. My thing is right now is popsicles. It's summertime, man. Pop sickle been on sale, croats. I've been popsicle down at night. Popsickles in the blunt. Shit, that's my motherfucking. That's my part of that. But I don't try to what do that every night. I know I need to what not rely on it as a way to go to sleep or way to, you know, fill a void at night when I'm not when I ain't got nothing to do. I try to feel like I done celebrated, I don't do it every night. But some nights, oh, I just sit there and eat a whole box. Fuck it. You feel me? But that's what you do, man, when you're trying to fill a void, man. You got to have up some type of perimeter. You gotta have somebody in the hole blocking, getting the rebounds for you. Cause you let the other person get the rebounds for you, guess what they're gonna do? Pass you a donut. Guess what they gonna do? Pass your ass a blunt. Guess what they're gonna do? Page you a motherfucking social media, let you see what the hell is going on in somebody else's work. You feel me? It's gonna be a bunch of other shit going on once you are letting others and things come in and fill the void. So you fill the void up on purpose. Like, if you don't get nothing out of that, this is the key take takeaway. Fill the void on purpose. Like when I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna fill it up. Nah, get back. I got this. I'm I know how to, you know, fill my own shit. I know how to, you know, like my little boy say, nah, dad, I don't know how to make shit. Get back. I don't I know how to put my goddamn juice in my own coat. Let me pour it. You feel me? Like pull your own poison. Don't let nobody pull you up and goddamn it, put much how much they want to put it in there. Nah, you fill the void. You put what you want in there. You want Kool-Aid in that bitch, you put Kool-Aid in there, bitch. You want shit, fruit juice in that bitch, you put fruit juice in there, bitch. You want you some fresh, cold, press juice in that bitch, you put it in there, your damn self. You feel me? You fill a void, so you know what's going in that motherfucker. You know what's in this, you know what, you know how it was made. You feel me? And once you know everything, you don't mind doing it, right? So let's redirect that, man. Let's fill a void, man. Let's go ahead and fill a void of whatever we got up, whatever we got rid of, let's fill the void up quick. Let's not go get back used to eating a donut in the morning, let's eat the pork in the morning, eating the bacon in the morning. No more of that. No more bacon, y'all. No more bacon. I'm done with bacon. I never buy bacon again in my life. If I ain't turkey bacon and ain't the kind of I like that that kind of pink turkey bacon, I'm not eating that shit. The Askamayas, whatever that shit is, no. It's one kind of turkey bacon that I saw that was was real and looked like it was man. I don't see it no motherfucking mode. I don't care what fuck away I go. Fresh market. I don't know where I gotta go get that damn turkey bacon from, but it's the only one I'm gonna eat. That's the only one I'm gonna get. You feel me? Don't come bring me that fake ass Alkamaya bacon. I'm gonna I'm not eating that rubber. Ain't no but rubber. You eat nigga, you eat magnums. I ain't nobody eating that bullshit. No. But anyway, look here, man. Y'all stop playing with the time. Y'all stop playing with y'all like man. Go fill that fucking void up yourself. Y'all done fixed the root cause, man. Go fill the void up. Once you fill that void, you ain't gotta worry about it with some something taking over your mind. Because you got that already. Feel you got something to do with that time already. You got something to do with that goddamn day. You got something to do with that energy now, man. Y'all understood this video, man. If y'all, if it helps, man, y'all like, y'all comment, y'all subscribe, man. Y'all stop playing, y'all stop playing, y'all stop playing, man.