Ep908 Relationship Detox

Not all clutter in our lives lives on a shelf or inside our phones. Sometimes, the heaviest clutter is the energy, expectations, and toxic dynamics we allow around us.

In this episode, we take an honest look at what it really takes to perform a "relational detox." We break down how to audit your inner circle, recognize the subtle signs of energy-draining relationships, and set boundaries that stick—without carrying a mountain of guilt. Whether you’re dealing with overly demanding friends, tricky family dynamics, or workplace boundaries, this conversation offers actionable frameworks to protect your peace and reclaim your personal space.

Transcript

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Yo, it's Jermaine Man Rahim Bra CL, y'all. Not all life detoxes are about screens. You feel me? They're not about everything that you know you see. You dig? Sometimes, man, the heaviest clutter in life is the energy that we allow around us. You feel me? Like that's the heaviest clutter, right? Like today, we're gonna talk about how to detox them relationships. You feel me? How to set unique boundaries. You feel me? Because a relationship needs to be detoxed too. A relationship needs to be clean too. A relationship needs to have its new standards too. It need to be upgraded like anything else. It needs to be clean too. It need to be, you know, have its way to be flushed, basically, right? So today we're gonna talk about flushing and detoxing the relationship, man. You got a relationship that's been fucking fucking with your energy, fucking with your mind, man. Today we're gonna talk about it. We're gonna get into it, right? We're gonna tell you like why is this thing so personal to me? You feel me? Why do I need to detox this relationship? You feel me? And how do I do this? The first thing I gotta do when I'm trying to perform anything is what perform a relational audit. This is what the inventory, the inventory network, right? Write down 10 to 15 people you engage with most frequently, access, work, family, and personal life, right? Then you track the energy exchange, mark whether interaction leaves you energized, drained, or neutral. You feel me? Once you do that, identify the dynamic patterns, look for specific behaviors such as emotional dumping or one-sided effort or passive aggression or genuine mutual support, right? So you look at these people like man, most of my my most of my people are gonna be what? They're gonna be neutral. You know, that that they'll try to drain me by not replying, but man, that I don't let it drain me because I stopped replying too. Energy, don't know about too many people give me too much energy, like no lie. You feel me? I'm I'm the one giving them the energy, I'm the one giving them the motivation. You feel me? It's not always it's always one sided, it's not always not both efforts coming in. You feel me? So it's and that's cool with me because I don't I'm I didn't got to the point where I understand people. I understand that why they do this and what they do that, I understand the program. Like I can see how a person programs and and if they gonna, you know, they gonna um be um volatile or involatile. So, you know, just knowing a person's support, this is this is gonna help my my support be genuine. You feel me? Like, I don't care because my support is genuine, mutual support. Like, it's gonna be to help you, and I don't even know you to be against you. So that's how I try to keep it. You feel me? Having that type of relationship audit, you don't know, okay. I'm not fucking with that man. Every time I he always complaining about some shit. He finna come around me talking about some shit that I don't want to hear. He finna tell you about some shit that he can't do or don't uh uh can do but don't want to do. So you know that's draining to you, man. You gotta let that relationship go. It's time to detox them, it's time to let that one go. You can come back to it, and if it's the same thing, oh dump them. It's hey, I can't fuck with you no more. You gotta dump their friendship out, dump their relationship, you gotta let that shit go because it's what draining you. You feel me? It's not it's not adding to you, it's not energizing you, it's leaving you with bad patterns, it's leaving you with bad thoughts, it's leaving you with bad feelings, right? So let me get rid of that, man. And the next step I do for the detox my relationship is I detox and I record it and I re-categor, recategorize these relationships, meaning define your circle group connections into core, high trusted reciprocals, operational, necessary, workslash family ties, draining consistently, right? And depleting, right? So once you notice group connections into the um, okay, you know, all right, this is my group, I can trust them. You feel me? Everything is reciprocal. Then you know you got the operational, the necessary workslash family ties. You know, you know you can do this and that with them, and you got the draining. This is consistently depleting you. You know when somebody drains, you know when somebody is helping you, right? So shoot the low contact for this theory, but draining relationships, limit interaction frequency, restrict conversations to service level topics and avoid unstructured downtime. Like, don't even give them no type of relationship where they can just get in and tell you some boom shit. Basically, what they're saying. For this series, but draining relationship, man. Guess what? Limit that shit is limited off you off limits, player. What's up? What you gotta talk about? Hell yeah, you stupid. Yeah. Uh-huh. Everything cool. Like, you never get on the old the whole you no more. Just give them like the the the part one. You feel me? Don't give them part two, and part three in part five. You feel me? Like, once you shift the when you shift to low contact for necessary drain relationships, you you feel better. Once you once you shift there's some shit out, once you done shifted the gear, you done got up out of that thing, you you you rolling that. You feel me? Your gears ain't no longer stuck because you done got out of that out of that stuck situation, out of that stuck relationship, out of that stuck and draining friendship, right? So prun nun extension ties, quietly phase out or cut cut off optional connections that thrive on gossip, outrage, and continuous disrespect. You feel me? Like just slide on out of that. They ain't gonna they ain't gonna miss you. You feel me? They ain't gonna, they not gonna uh chase you down to be negative, but they gonna if you allow them to come around, oh shit. They ready to tell you what's going on because some people are just naturally negative, some people are naturally um chaotic, some people are naturally um chaotic makers. So once I see that this is like this, I'm not finna I'm this ain't finna be part of me. I'm not finna let this be something I do uh uh uh have going on every day. So let me quiet out this situation in my life, let me put this out of my life. You feel me? So once I do that, I'm really moving then, right? So set the damn standard, y'all. Set the standards for the damn relationship, right? Set it. And the next one is man, set and enforce boundaries, clarify your limits, identify non-negotiable regarding your time, emotional capacity, privacy, and personal space. Like, clarify your limits. Like, let motherfucker know, man. I don't do that again, nigga. Nah, hell nah. You feel me? I'm gonna I'm big on hell nah and hell yeah. I'm big on that. Like, you know me, you're gonna say hell nah, hell yeah. Nah, I didn't think about it. I think about it though, like you gotta be big on your no's and your yeses. Like, you gotta really know what you want and really know what you don't want. Once you know them, you ain't gonna your boundaries, motherfuckers ain't finna cross them. You dig like use direct, non-offensive statements, state that you will or will not clearly without over-explaining or negotiating. Example, I'm not available to discuss that topic, or I need to head out by 8 p.m. You feel me? Once you got that clear, cut throat understand it, motherfuckers gonna respect it. Because they ain't got no choice but to respect it because you respect it. Once you respect it, nobody else can't disrespect it. You feel me? Once you respect it, nobody else can't cross that line. You feel me? But once you start disrespecting your own self, everybody else can what follow sweep, follow a line. So let's get uh let's let's be more disciplined on ourselves than we are on others, right? And it's a cute immediate consequence. If a boundary is pushed, follow through right away by changing the subject, starting the car or leaving the environment. Like get up and let the motherfucker know. Oh, I told you. I told your ass I would have what the fuck I came here for or what or what I was on for I got here. Let them know. Let that nigga know. Nigga, I what? I'm top. You know what? Walk out, change your environment. Get in your car and drive off. You feel me? Hang the phone up. You understand me? Change the subject. They don't want to change the subject. Get on down because they're trying to what? Pull you in and rear you into that toxic environment again. That toxic mindset, that toxic thinking. You ain't on it no more, so you gotta what? Change how you're feeling, change how you're coming for these niggas, man. Because these niggas want you mad. They want you pissed off. The better you pissed off, the more they got to talk about. When they go around their other people, oh, this nigga was mad as a motherfucker. Oh, this and that. You feel me? Some people just want some shit to talk about and gossip about like a bitch. That's all that's most females, and niggas are coming right behind them with the with the messy and wonder why they so what caught up in watching baddies, watching bullshit because you want to you like argument, you like conference, you like confrontation, you like conflicts, you like shit that's this um not good for nobody, but it's funny afterwards. You feel me? Or it's funny because it had nothing to do with you. You feel me? But if there would have been one of your people or somebody that you love, it would it wouldn't have been funny. You dig? So once you see them type of people, you hanging around them type of people, know that that energy is rubbing and and and raining on your body, man. So don't think you ain't you ain't getting wet. You feel me? Don't think you ain't getting wet because you're around that shit. If you around it, trust me, you getting wet just like they getting wet. You getting fucked up just like they getting fucked up. Your mind is getting cluttered and piled up with bullshit just like they're getting piled up with bullshit. And you feel like you don't have this and that, is because what you have gone to the place of not detoxing this shit. You let this shit overflow. Now it's too much of it. Now your dopamine baseline level, you need 40 blunts. You need a hundred people to talk to. You need a bunch of likes, you need too much for your dopamine levels to be risen. And you wonder why you feel away. It's because you are requiring too much from yourself. You are not cleaning and maintaining a standard, a restriction, a baseline that is healthy for you. So get there, man. This video helps y'all in any kind of way, man. Y'all like, y'all come in, y'all subscribe, man. Y'all detox them relationships, man. Y'all set them fucking boundaries. And I promise you that you're gonna feel and look and have better relationships in your life, man. Let's get all this yo, man.