Ep922 Therapeutic Conversations

Are your daily check-ins with your partner, best friend, or co-worker feeling more like a status update than a real connection?

In this episode, we unpack how to transform routine catch-ups into genuine safe harbors for emotional depth. We move past the automated "How was your day?" routine and dive into actionable ways to build deeper trust, practice presence, and navigate micro-tension before it turns into distance.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Yo, it's your main man Rahin Bry CL, y'all. Most of the times, people are gonna ask you, How was your day? And 90% of the time, you're gonna say, It was cool, it was fine. Oh, I oh it was busy. You dig like most of the time, that simple question is gonna get a what? Simple answer, man. Today we're gonna get into how to give get into therapeutic conversations. Like, stop disengaging to like low frequency conversation, low vibe conversations, talking about real things and with high and real emotions today. You feel me? Today I won't talk about things like if you read the book about how to win and influence friends, you know exactly where I'm coming from and exactly what I'm talking about. You dig because it's a way just to talk to people, it's the way to make things therapeutic, it's the way to make things you know real and have real feelings, right? So today, man, we're gonna unlock that authentic emotion, you dig? Like, we're gonna show you how to I'm gonna show you how to use a strategic silence so you so your loved ones feel heard, you feel me? Not just fixed, you dig? Like, and you like you gonna normalize in small day everyday talks to like everyday, like damn near, you know, every time I call this person, like damn, you dig? Like you gonna you want people to feel that way about you. You dig? I got a lot of people that I can call and be like, hey, man, I need to chop this up with you dig like you that you can just vent to, you dig? Like this keep a lot of people out of jail, just keep a lot of people out of uh out of a bad situation, just keep a lot of people in good places, man. Good conversations, rule of nation, man. So let's get right into it, right? The first thing is, man, you want to shift from outcome to state, you dig? You want to shift from outcome to state, meaning that goddamn it, you want to ditch the generic updates like how was your day? You dig? And ask a question like what drained you today? Like, stop asking how was your day? Like, this is my favorite question though, for real. But that's for what small talk. You trying to, you know, this one's somebody you just meeting right then and there. You dig? You just somebody you're not gonna never see again. You ask them how was their day just to get their mind off of you. You dig like you ask people how their day was just to, you know, just to keep the that that slight moment from being awkward. You didn't just say something. Like you come to somebody not saying nothing, that make everything what awkward. That make everything feel the way, they make everything feel like what the you know, do I know you or something? You dig like that's how it makes it feel, right? So once you ask somebody like, man, if you know this is a person that you generally mess with or talk to, or this is a family member, this is a person that you see every day, you feel me like nigga, ask them what what drained you today, you dig? Ask them like when did you feel prison the most? Like when was you like locked in today? Like what part of the day had you like boy, you dig like what part of your day made you feel the best today? Like, ask a question like that, and this is evital, this evites emotional what honesty rather than just a routine highlight. This is something you know nigga do every day. Like, you don't want to talk about nothing that you do every day, all day. You do this already, you don't want to talk about this, you feel me? Like you already want to talk about something that really struck your emotions, something that really struck your mind, something that really just man, bro. This shit, you feel me? Like something that you would definitely go talk with your girl about, you feel me? Something that you know you want to talk with your girl about these types of situations, you want to talk to other people about this situation, but you want this honesty from people all the time. You feel me? If you really fuck with somebody, you really want that honesty conversation, you really want that conversation that you know just have you feeling like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna start doing this or I'm finna know, I'm finna be on something better. You feel me? Like, don't lose their friend who who wants you to eat better, look better, feel better, do better. You feel me? Don't lose their friend because their friend really cares, right? And the next thing we're gonna get into, man, is harness the strategy silence, you dig? Like once you practice active listening by just leaning into pauses rather than just wrestling and offering advice or solving problems, giving the other person space to process and feel genuinely heard. You dig once you give a person the space to tell you everything they feel, you dig? Now this person is more what come, um, they are more open to come to you, you dig? Again, you dig? They're more likely to say something to you again because you always listening, you dig you always asking them questions on top of what they just said, making them think even deeper about the situation. You feel me? Make them even looking at it from even a form of a better from a better standpoint. Like once people see shit from a better standpoint, bro, they gon' man, they gonna do what they do. You feel me? They're gonna make the move on the right thing because they see shit from a different standpoint. Once you see something from a different standpoint, you're not gonna, you're not gonna judge a person like as much. You feel me? Once you see from a something from a discipline standpoint, you're gonna look at people, you know, like humans. You dig some people sometimes people look at people as like superhumans. Like, damn, nigga supposed to know everything. You supposed to know how to do everything. Like, damn. Thank you though. Thanks for the you feel me. But once you um grab silence, man, and just know how to listen, bruh. That's the power, most powerful tool in the book. You dig listening, getting the other person to talk. You dig? Once you get them to talk, you good. You dig once you get them to say something, you good. You dig it's like you didn't open up their brain and and let them spill their dictionary. You dig most people even we want to spill their dictionary at times of life, it's like that's why it's up and down. You feel me? Like this person might be up. So it's shit, he got some power and energy to listen to the one that's down, you dig? Uh you might be down, and that somebody got the power and energy to listen to you, you dig? So that's why we need friends, that's why we need tribe, that's why like what what community is really is, man, it's helped there. You feel me? Like you ain't really gotta worry about nothing because people got community. Like when most the more people do something together, like the better it is, type shit. Like the more people, like the better. Like you get more minds on one subject or one topic or one project or one anything, like that shit finna go the right way. Because it's so many minds on it. It's so many, it's so many suggestions and opinions and ways and perspectives. You feel me? Like, you finna get the best of the best. Because everybody is on their shit around these motherfuckers, right? So let's get on it, man. Let's get into those, like, let me like let me talk, like, like let me let them, you know, get a part, let them do their thing, right? And the last thing is normalize rupture and repair. Frame frame minor everyday understandings or friction, not as relational failures, but as natural necessary opportunities to rebuild trust and deepen emotional intimacy, right? So it says frame minor everyday misunderstanding or friction or friction not as um failures but as natural. Okay, so it's saying that shit. And even if y'all have a fuck up, right? Even if things go wrong, right? Nigga, it's cool. You dig like refrain from thinking that it's friction, that it's static. No, nigga, this is this is natural. You know, relationships go up and down. You feel me? Like, I ain't never just been always cool or cool every day, or we probably hitting each other up every day, then they stop, or man, nah, it's just like this natural, bro. Like, people's life go through this, or people's life go through that. So this is natural. You feel me? Some relations come, some relationships come back, some of them don't. This is natural, right? So once you know that this man, know if they come back, this is the opportunity to rebuild the trust. You feel me? This is an opportunity to to deepen the emotional intimacy. You dig? But if they don't come back, it's it's not it's not the end of the world. Dig isn't it's not for like some just finna stop and not go your way. You feel me? So keeping your mind in that right section and keeping your mind in that right place, you can do this all day. You feel me? You can you can make sure that you are um connected and talking to other people, you feel me? Like you can make sure that you, you know, making up for that lost time, you did. You can rebuild trust in certain relationships. You dig? You can start acting different. You can start, you know, you can become a better friend, you can become a better uh spouse, you can become, you know, sometimes some relationships are capable of being rebuilt, you dig? But some of them are totally destroyed, and you dig, and that's part of life. You dig like some flowers, shit, they can't regrow over here, you dig? Like this this this ground don't even hold that soil no more. You dig? So that flower can't even grow out of that no more. So their relationship couldn't even blossom, even if they wanted to. So once you thinking like that, and once you moving like that, man, you good, man. So today, man, I hope this video helped y'all in some type of way, gave y'all some type of guidance on therapeutic talking. Like just talk. Call your people, man, rebuild that trust and get that back going. You feel me? Like, normalize that. You feel me like normalize repairing relationships, normalize like being silence and letting somebody talk. Normalize, goddammit, you know, just giving real conversation to people. Stop all that, you know, just blah la listen, la la la. Like, nah, nigga, what's up? What the fuck you on? You been tripping. Let a nigga know they've been tripping, let a nigga know if they been doing something wrong. Don't be that friend that allows some niggas just to do whatever. Don't be that nigga that allow your friends just to aha over you. You dig, or be their friend that don't give a damn and and you won't do it. You feel me? If you won't do it, why you gonna tell your friend to do it? You feel me? If you wouldn't do it, why you gonna let somebody else do it? You feel me? So get that honest judgment and those on your opinion so those relationships can thicken. Like the more you honest with a person, the thicken the relationships get. You feel me? The real the shit gets, you feel me? The more you can trust them, the the better, you know, that you know, just it's better for both of y'all. You feel me? Now, if I need uh or this and that, you feel me? We we it's one, it's two, you feel me? And then we done made one to two. You dig because now this and one place and then when trust is somewhere, trust when trusting, you got somebody trust, bro. That's that's all you need. You dig when you when somebody got your trust, that's all they need. You feel me? Like, nigga, if I trust you, bro, nigga, just take it's all it takes for you to do is break it, but you feel me? But if I you got it, you got it. Fuck it. I ain't I ain't hiding shit. You dig like nigga, this is me. You feel me? So trust is a big and the major factor in the world, man. So if somebody talking to you, man, man, make them trust you. You feel me? Show them that you trustworthy. Show them that you that they just don't say I said make them. You feel me? It ain't making them, but just you know, just show them like nigga, this is nigga, this ain't something that you gotta um goddamn it question. Nah, this is what I said, you know, this is what I know right now. This is what I know. If I know something different, I'll tell you something different, but nah, this is all I note, man. So get those on this talks, man, so you can get those best conversation out your friends, your peers, your spouses, your class, make your co-workers, the people that you hang around, the people that you see every day, the people that you don't know. Get the best conversation out their ass once you see them. I'm talking about grab them by the mind. Grab them right by the mind. Ooh, what's up? You alright today? How you feeling? You cool? You you feel me? Like everybody you know or ever seen, like you just give them a hey, give them a, you know, you gotta give them a big conversation, but you know, this is why I said this when you give them the small talk. How was your day? You feel me? I don't condone with small talk, but I will speak. You dig? So speak, man. Y'all understand the game, y'all understand the plan, man. Make the conversation smooth, make the conversation smooth. And if you want even more details on how to win and influence friends by Dell Country, man, go get this one. But this just a book that helped me. This this is not a I just thought about this book when I was thinking about like the talking. Like, yeah, this book is it's very known for that. He's very known for getting you, getting you, I can get your ass talking for hours. So that's what I do. Yeah, I start playing our time, y'all start playing, like man, I get a let's kill, man.