The Care Girl Podcast
The Care Girl Podcast
Building Bridges for Autism Support with Christina McCullough
When Christina McCullough, founder of Shine Autism, walked into my studio, there was an air of determination about her that only a parent of autistic children could possess. She's turned her personal challenges into a lifeline for others, and in our heartfelt conversation, she lays bare the early signs that nudged her towards recognizing autism in her children, the life-changing advice from an unexpected mentor, and the complex road to diagnosis. Christina doesn't just share her story; she steps up as a beacon of resilience, imparting wisdom on how to navigate the turbulent waters of public misunderstandings and protect your children with a blend of calmness and assertiveness. She also courageously tackles the seldom-discussed aftermath of parental depression that can follow a diagnosis, offering a hand to hold for those feeling isolated in their struggles.
The heart and soul of this episode lie not just in Christina's journey but in the collective strength found within the support groups she champions through her nonprofit, Shine Autism. It's here that parents find solace and strategies, learning to replace comparisons with self-care and solidarity. We also shed light on the critical need for resources, from toys to donations, to keep such lifelines afloat, ensuring that families touched by autism can access the community and support they so deeply need. Christina embodies the spirit of someone who's not only smart and business-savvy but carries a happy spirit that's infectious, leaving us all with a sense of hope and a reminder that through unity and understanding, we can make the path ahead a little brighter for each other.
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The Care Girl Podcast and Experience. Hi, it's Alexandria and we're here again on the Care Girl Podcast. I'm here with Christina McCullough today. Thank you for having me. Oh my God, thank you for coming and being as patient as you are, because we've had some technical difficulties.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, we did make it through so we did make it through. For those who don't know, I have a home care agency called the Care Girl Agency, right here Soul Center Care, so call me if you need help. But let's segue into why she is here today. She is the founder of Shine Autism nonprofit for autistic parents. I mean parents of autistic children.
Speaker 2:Parents and children, parents and children.
Speaker 1:And I just wanted to kind of cover the story behind how she takes care of her children, how she helps other parents and all that good stuff. Can you give us the story behind how you discovered your children having autism?
Speaker 2:How I discovered my children having autism was through some subtle hints from Miss Kathy. Miss Kathy was our instructor at the library.
Speaker 2:I took the boys to the library consistently for story time to give them a school-like environment setting because, at that point I was homeschooling them and they don't know mom from teachers, so I had to give them a different environment to help lay down the rules of, like, a classroom setting. So, miss Kathy, she probably noticed immediately from what they were doing, but she gave us a lot of accommodations to having them acclimated to a classroom setting and, her being the instructor, she's very patient with them and she let me know something subtly, because I didn't know about autism at the time at all, but she has a child that has autism, so I'm sure everything they were doing she was like wow listen, listen, listen what I thought I mean when we tried to help her out, like get her on the right track, but that she gave me the courage to go and see if there was anything that I needed to do for them.
Speaker 2:Extra which they were diagnosed with autism. We were on the waiting list for one year and that accelerated everything else.
Speaker 1:Give me a moment where you had a challenge in the community dealing with your children and someone not doing right by now.
Speaker 2:Right, that has happened the first time it happened. My son. I have twin boys, but one of my twins was accused of pushing another little girl down at the playground Normal behavior?
Speaker 1:autism, Normal behavior. Right, it's a playground. Yeah, she was in play.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right, and I didn't see him push her, so you're not gonna accuse my son of doing anything.
Speaker 2:Roll the footage, but anyway. Anyway, she was very aggressive all in my face and in that moment I had to think about safety. What's gonna happen if this lady starts to fight me? I'm not backing down from a fight, but where are my kids gonna go if they see this commotion? They have a version to loud sounds. Are they gonna run into the street? Are they gonna run to a stranger? Are they gonna run to me? If I'm fighting this lady, what's gonna happen to them? And I told her it's best for her and her safety as she backs up.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cause in that moment I'm trying to juggle outweigh all these different scenarios.
Speaker 1:Back up, all of me, back up, all of me. Yeah, back up. You ain't black mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, I'm a black mom for sure, but in that moment I had to still be provider, still think smartly and try to figure out what was the best outcome for my children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, some parents may go through a period of depression, especially when they find out the diagnosis. How can they combat that depression and kind of like break through to the other side?
Speaker 2:Combatting depression. I think the root of that is with the diagnosis is you see your child and then you see other children and they aren't doing the same thing, Comparison so yeah, comparison is the thief of joy. Don't compare your child to other children. Yes, you can use it as a benchmark to see what they could be doing physically at that age range or whatever, but every child grows at their own pace. So, number one, do not compare what your child does to someone else's child.
Speaker 2:You never even know they might have had therapy at the very beginning of their life and they might be in an accelerated phase of their life. But don't compare and then don't get comfortable feeling a negative emotion about your child either.
Speaker 1:These children are amazing.
Speaker 2:These children are so amazing and they have the ability to know only great things, and no one should take that from them, not even the parent. So, even if you don't feel your best, tell your mind that you're feeling your best, and your body will follow. Do some self-care, like take care of yourself. You cannot pour from empty cup at all, ever it's not going to work.
Speaker 1:Take care of yourself first I told you about an instance that I had when I went into a home for a parent that I was supposed to help with care.
Speaker 1:I was supposed to place a nurse there. But I got a call from CPS Child Protective Services for those who don't know to report the parent. But apparently there was some mental health going on and she had five of the kids and her baby had a TBI tomato brain injury. So I think that is some cases and it looks bad sometimes in a lot of ways. It can look bad in a normal situation, in an average situation, but when you get on the other side it takes time there be just really like you said. It's a process.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And, like I said, you set a success plan. Tell us about your success plan of what not to do, the things you're like. Okay, if you were not there and your mom was there, you had to go five days vacation. You would have a success plan in place, and that's what. I think parents need especially these kids or these able children. They need that success plan. So if you give us a little bit of advice, you would give a newly diagnosed mother of a child with autism Like, act like it's me.
Speaker 2:If you guys just got a diagnosis, I would say don't panic Number one Number one there's no difference from yesterday to today with a piece of paper.
Speaker 1:There's no difference.
Speaker 2:This diagnosis is just saying your child needs extra help, we need accommodations, we need patients. That's all it's saying. It's not a death sentence. It's not a death sentence, it's just okay. This was your plan for, but now we need to tweak some things a little bit. We need to add some people in that have different specialty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and it's all going to work out.
Speaker 2:You just have to stay the course, stay consistent in. That's just how it's going to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, stay the course, stay consistent. You know, get your doctors in order and then also trust your knowledge.
Speaker 2:Yes, and keep educating, keep educating yourself. Yes.
Speaker 1:Because, like I told you a while back, I had an instance where my son had to be tested and this is actually the second child that they did. I didn't tell you that my oldest had to be tested as well. Wow, and they had him in special needs for reading and math through. Oh no resource. It was called resource right and I had a conversation with him. He said well. He said well, he's like I'm really done with the resource, I don't want to do it. So I went to the school this was doing before COVID and they maybe come up to the school to take him out of the program. I spoke to these black educators. I'll drop the link below. I think I shared with you a tutoring group that is offered black boys specifically for a tutoring group that is offered black boys specifically and he's all A's.
Speaker 1:Now she discovered my son was a mathematician and she said he was not being challenged.
Speaker 2:He goes to a STEM high school, so he was bored.
Speaker 1:He was bored, he wasn't challenged and he was gifted, wow. So there is that instance. But then there's another instance to where, yes, your child does need the extra help, and that's what I mean by ignoring your child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because in your case extra was him actually being accelerated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he got accelerated after the fact and I trust it and believe in him. Because this is what I told him I said I'm going to set up a tutor for the summer before high school. This is before high school. I don't want to do that in high school. And that's okay, yeah, because.
Speaker 2:I was probably doing some cool things, the cool factor and all of that you know and you know his graduations.
Speaker 1:he didn't have any friends Like he had like one child, one friend and they, and you can tell he kind of like was different too, and it didn't hit me until I really realized. I was like, you know, because I was popular. You know what? I mean I was popular with my little ADHD stuff, but he just found his, he found his jam, he found his jam. And those those children have, they have gifts.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:He's still like, he don't like interacting with people.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1:He's, very he's to themselves. But finding your children's talents- is very, very important. How can people find you online right now?
Speaker 2:Right now my nonprofit shine. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok under shine autism spectrum, as well as YouTube. And then I have a personal blog channel on YouTube under Queen Christina Marie, and I showcase some things that I do with my children, some special needs related topics and all the fun that we have because we're not standing house.
Speaker 1:We all try to.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm not going to let anything stop us yes. And I also with my nonprofit. I have a parent support group because and we'll have it all in the link below. Yes, It'll be in the link below, but I it starts with the parents Do you have any sponsors too?
Speaker 1:We can talk about sponsors.
Speaker 2:We are accepting donors and sponsors because we are a growing nonprofit and we definitely want to add more programs to this nonprofit. Yes, yes. Toys whatever, Any and everything. We also take monetary donations and there's about three donation links on my website which is www shine autismorg Okay. Okay, we're going to get a quick picture picture and the last thing, three things that people would describe you as People would describe me as a smart, business minded and just a happy spirit.
Speaker 1:Okay, happy spirit. I love it. I love it. Thank you all to Caregirl signing out. Thanks for coming on, thank you for having me. Make sure you like, follow and subscribe and go over to our YouTube to see more of the Caregirl podcast and experience. Stay well.