The Care Girl Podcast
The Care Girl Podcast
When Denial Blocks Dementia Care-Dear Care Girl Series
We read a caregiver’s letter about a mother losing money to scams, withdrawing from friends, and struggling with daily tasks while insisting nothing is wrong. We share practical ways to cut through denial, involve allies, and arrange home-based medical assessments to keep her safe.
• financial scams as an early dementia sign
• withdrawal, confabulation, and task failure as red flags
• why denial and lack of insight block help
• using a third party or sibling to open doors
• requesting house-call assessments and screenings
• activating POA to protect safety and funds
• setting boundaries and building a support system
• caregiver self-care alongside crisis steps
If today’s letter spoke to you, please share this episode with someone who is taking care of someone else
If you have any caregiving question, struggle, or story you want me to read on the show, send your letter to me on Instagram at @thecaregirl_ underscore or email workwithme at the caregirl.com
You're listening to the Care Girl Podcast, your guide to better health, calmer living, and caring confidently for your aging parents. On today's Dear Care Girl episode, we're diving into a real letter from a caregiver who needs support and clarity. Let's get into it. Convincing parents of a decline. My mom lives with me despite that she has always been painfully secretive and scurdy about many aspects of her life. She tells me nothing at all. It came to light recently that she had been scammed for the last several years to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars and is in serious financial hot water. I have power of attorney and now taking care of police, bank, etc. My issue is besides this, she's been showing other signs that things are slipping reasoning-wise. She used to be social, but outside of siblings, she visits no one now and claims she's scared to meet people. She declares that she's seen every movie on TV show or TV show I put on, or even if they were just released that day. She has weird outbursts that have been causing a lot of conflict at home lately. Things like knitting she's done all her life caused a lot of problems for her. She has to keep ripping apart projects over and over. If she cooks, she's always asking for instructions, even if she's made that meal all her life. She says she doesn't know how I do things, but she taught me. She has a sister currently with dementia. Her mother has had it before her death. Since her revelation about the scam, I've been trying to convince her daily to see her doctor, but she insists she's fine. She's still able and insistent to make herself a meal midday and keep her room clean, and she generally does like housework. While I'm going to keep her her she I'm gone to keep herself busy so things aren't yet catastrophic, but still worrisome. I don't know what to do. I'm very concerned, and I just can't seem to get her to see the light. I imagine from the inside looking out, living your own normal, you wouldn't see a problem, especially when that problem involves making decisions. I have a sibling, but they're not in a great health themselves. I don't want to stress them too much. She would be mortified if I reached out to her own sibling. I'm looking for helpful intervention tactics to get to get her to see the light. So I see this a lot when it comes to families where, you know, that mother or father may be in a denial, right? So the my answer to that, you know, is that there's nothing that you can do, right? Until they are well ready to accept that diagnosis, right? So, you know, maybe bring in that sister. You know, you don't want to contact the sister, but their sister may be able to talk to her in a different way that you're not getting through to her. Because I've always I've I've come in as a third party to families, and I've been able to kind of get them to see a doctor, right? You may have to get someone to do a house call because the worst, the the best thing that you can do is really get her help now because you don't want to come home and then the house is burned down or she is lost somewhere in the neighborhood because dementia can can go from zero to 100 really, really, really quick. So I would talk to the sister for sure a thousand percent. And I would bring in a medical professional that maybe can do an assessment in the home. And you know, just just give her space and time. But as we know, like you say, you know, the this this is a common problem in the family. This is a concurrent diagnosis that her her own mom had, her own sister had. So she just is maybe she doesn't even, she's not aware and she thinks everything is a scam now. So she may not even be in the right mind. And you as a having the you having the power of attorney, you can actually do, you have way more rights than you think that you have. And your your number one goal is to keep her safe, keep her healthy, keep her alive. So don't feel afraid to call in, you know, other people, and you need a support system and and also take care of yourself. This is the care girl. Y'all have a good day. Thank you for listening to the Care Girl podcast. If today's letter spoke to you, please share this episode with someone who is taking care of someone else. And if you have any caregiving question, struggle, or story you want me to read on the show, send your letter to me on Instagram at thecaregirl underscore or email work with me at the caregirl.com. Until next time, take care of yourself while you're taking care of them.