The Care Girl Podcast
The Care Girl Podcast
How To Plan For Elder Care Before A Crisis
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Waiting to plan for elder care feels easier, until the moment it suddenly isn’t. We sit down with Alexandria, founder of The Care Girl Agencies, to talk about what adult children actually need to have in place before a fall, a sudden hospital admission, or a scary shift in memory turns into a full-blown family crisis.
We get practical fast: how to start the conversation with a parent who doesn’t want help, what documents matter most (including medical power of attorney), and why “confusion that looks like dementia” can sometimes be something as treatable as a UTI. Alexandria also clears up one of the biggest sources of stress in caregiving planning: Medicare. We walk through what Medicare covers, what it doesn’t cover (especially long-term custodial in-home care), and why believing the myth can leave the “strong sibling” taking off work with no backup plan.
From there we talk care transitions and real-world logistics. Alexandria explains skilled nursing and rehab coverage, the 100-day limit, and why discharge is a starting gun, not a finish line. We also dig into the critical first 72 hours after discharge, how to lower hospital readmission risk, and how to build a circle of care so one person isn’t carrying the entire emotional and financial load. If you’re part of the sandwich generation, this conversation is a roadmap for planning, boundaries, and support.
Listen, share this with a sibling, and subscribe so you don’t miss what we’re building. After you listen, leave a review and tell us: what’s the one caregiving question you wish someone answered sooner?
https://realinnovationlife.com/the-care-girl/
I have to find the five. I saw it. I saw that I saw her face. What it looks like to take care of an elderly first. Either A, we have elderly people in our lives, or B, we may well we will hopefully eventually become elderly people. So we want to know what it looks like to be taken both care of. So without further ado, the founder and CEO of Hair Girl.
The Strong Sibling Problem
Planning Before The Emergency
Confusion, UTIs, And Advocacy
What Medicare Covers And Doesn’t
Paying For Care Without Guessing
Rehab Stays And The 100-Day Cliff
Preventing Readmissions With A Transition Plan
The First 72 Hours After Discharge
Signs Your Parent Needs Help
Practical Options For Support At Home
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Simone. I I appreciate you. I really appreciate you. Simone, I I mean, she she looked like she hasn't aged a day since the last time I saw her. And she is now, you know, college degreed. And, you know, it's just like, I just, I love the, I love how, you know, you, you just, you know, your seasons change and you you, you know, you you have like 20 lives in you. I love that about you. And it's very inspirational, I would say. So I am Alexandria, known as the CareGirl Online. I am the founder of the Care Girl Agencies. Uh, we have an adult and pediatric care agency where we send caregivers and nurses into the home to take care of people. But this year, I took it upon myself to really, really start educating the community about elderly care and being prepared, especially the adult children, because I've come across so many, so, so many families that just are not prepared, and then an emergency happens, and you know, mom's in the hospital, and you know, they don't have um a power of attorney, right? Any of this familiar, you notice changes, but no one wants to talk about it. You're not sure what your family actually needs. You don't know what Medicare covers or doesn't. You're doing it alone and you're exhausted. So I I don't know if if one of you all are the strong sister or you know, the strong one, the strong sibling, and you take on everything. I often meet with that that sibling and they're just overwhelmed because that the family just doesn't understand like how much care that mom may need when she when she needs it. And then and then we have a side of it to where, hey, mom is doing well. She is she has never been in the hospital, nothing has ever happened to her. And you know, she's a little bit like, hey, I am sophisticated and I don't need your help. So, so they never want to have the conversation about what it looks like if you if in the fact you may need me to take care of you, right? Or or if you have the funds set aside. So sometimes the conversation can be hard to have with a hard-headed, you know, parent. And it's it's funny because I have a parent that stays with me. She's 67, going on 17. She's semi-retired. She she does drive the school bus two days a week, still wants to get out there and mingle, right? So, you know, I think she feels like she's a superwoman. So last week, I'm gonna give you an example of me trying to have a conversation during spring break on the way back home. I'm like, hey, mom, I really want to know, you know, what your what your care plan would look like if you knew need care, you know, what insurance policies do you have set aside? I really need to un I need to be a part of your my chart, you know, and this and that. And she was a little nervous. She just, she just, she just, it it kind of threw her off, but she knows the line of work that I'm in. So it's not like too far left, but it could be far left for someone who may not be super close to their parent. Or, you know, like I said, you have that highly sophisticated parent who just like, I, you know, I don't, I don't want you in my business in that way, right? So, so I deal with families in all types of uh transitions and I and I help people have the conversation. That conversation feels impossible until you're in a hospital hallway at midnight. Most families wait for the crisis. The families who thrive plan before it. And that is my whole goal for 2026, is just to have a plan, even if it's a Google listing, or Google, not not a Google listing, like you have a Google Drive with all of the insurances that the parent has. I'll give away a free resource at the end of this, where it's I have an emergency aging care package where I, you know, you put your medication, you put the medication list, you get you have all the emergency contacts in there, power of attorney, all those different forms that you may need, you know, in the event, you know, God forbid that a situation happens, which which emergencies do happen all of the time. I'm not sure if any of you all have been through any situation with either of your parents, you know, if they're still with you today, right? So that is my whole entire goal for 2026. And I'm hoping that I can help you all. Looks like some of my slides didn't transfer over. So, so a lot of times what I see when when people get when parents are getting hospitalized, let's say, you know, they're in their upper 70s, right? It's it's about, you know, sometimes they're like, oh, they they may have memory loss. They there's something's going on with them out of nowhere, right? It's never out of nowhere. First thing you want to make sure you do is rule out a UTI. You tell them, hey, because I've seen people with a UTI, it's like they all of a sudden they have amnesia. So I think that we need to understand that when our parents cannot advocate for themselves, that we are we are the advocates for them. And it's okay to be that, you know, especially if you are, you know, the medical power of attorney. You you are their voice. If if in, you know, if they get have a stroke or they can't talk, you know, they're intubated, right? A lot of times they they're they intubate someone when they need to say their airway because they don't know what's going on with the with the parent, right? So it's things that happen in an emergency to where they cannot speak. You have to understand like how to step up. Urinary tract infections mimic dementia symptoms in older adults. A simple test can change everything. So let me tell you what Medicare pays for and give you the full picture of what it does. It does and does not pay for. I will leave room for questions at the end as well. So a lot of times people call me all of the time and they're like, oh, my mom has Medicare. She that should be able to pay for in-home care. No, ma'am, that will not pay for in-home care. What does it cover? Hospital stays, inpatient, doctor visits, preventative screenings, short-term rehab up to 100 days, home health after hospital stay, and hospice care. What it doesn't pay for is custodial, daily care at home, long-term nursing home stays, assisted living cost, dental vision hearing, caregiver support services, most personal care needs. So what it so that's like, okay, well, what does Medicare pay for, right? It pays for a lot, which is on the left. But in the event that that person needs a caregiver, guess what? If there's no plan in place for a caregiver agency to take care of that parent, guess who's gonna have to take off work and take it, take it, take off work and take care of that parent? You will, right? And a lot of us, we're the scent, we're in this, I'm like, we're in a sandwich generation where you still have grown kids. You have you may have a grown child, you may have a little child, you may have a husband, you may have a boyfriend, then you got your parents' ages. So it's like you are trying to take care of everybody, right? First of all, I want us to put put our put our mask on ourselves, and first of all, we we the only person you can only save is yourself and take care of yourself first in order for you to give to give to others, right? So that is kind of like what Medicare pays for. And what are the different ways that you can pay for care, right? Mom can have some type of insurance policy called long-term care. Long-term care has to be paid into probably from age 50 and up or earlier. Like if I'm 37, if I were to get a long-term care plan, it would be super, super cheap. But hey, I may never use it, right? But the long-term care-term care policies are are hybrid in versus the traditional versions now, which I like, which if you, you know, if you pass, you never use it. That money will be, you know, can be put in the trust and given to your family family members, right? So long-term care is a lot better. But I've seen a lot of families tap into the long-term care, and it's a relief. You get like$40 an hour for care. Both parents can get care together, however, that goes, and agency users come in. But there is some Medicaid programs that that you can pay for care as well. One is called CCP, CCSP, and source. But nine times out of ten, if you have the bougie parent, they do not qualify for Medicaid. They do not qualify for Medicaid. Now, now, I've seen a lot of wealthy families do this, um, where they, you know, they put all of my mom's stuff into a trust, but they do this early on, right? They they they they they spin down a lot of things and then it makes her look poor look poorer on paper. That's a whole nother conversation that you would have to have with an elder care attorney, a state planner, in order for you to be able to qualify for some of that Medicaid, those Medicaid programs. I've seen it be done with families that actually have the money to pay for care, but they want to it's before they spend their money, they want to want the insurance policies. I had an I had a patient, she was, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I think she was about seven to eight years old. Her son was an attorney. He called me and he said, Hey, I need, you know, my mom's going through chemo, she's never been sick before. Uh, she's sick after the chemo. We need care for her. This man had about maybe six or seven policies, and he wasn't worried about paying. He was like, just send me the invoice. One of them, but one of them, we have we have cancer insurance, we have this, we have that. They have been paying into these policies for years, right? So it's so it's it's about, you know, for me, you know, stacking the right policies, understanding these things. But sometimes, you know, we will fall short and we will have to end up paying for care ourselves or taking care of that parent, which I don't feel like that's a bad thing. But at the same time, I see a lot of caregivers, primary caregivers go down and then they lose all that they lose everything that they had as well because they're trying to save, you know, that parent. And it's just it gets it, it gets it's it gets a little bit bad, right? So let's talk about skilled nursing coverage. Um, skilled nursing coverage is let's let's let me break down what skilled nursing is. So skilled nursing is like let's say somebody had a stroke or had or some other maybe a heart attack, and they were, you know, they their quality of life is a little bit low, but they they can recover. So they will have to go into like a rehab nursing home. And skilled nursing is uh Medicare covers about 100 days. So after 100 days, they're not doing well. Guess where they will be? Back at your house. Back at your house. So it requires a three-night qualifying hospital stay, days one to 20 fully covered, days 21 to 100 have a daily copay. You know, and we and I get into the prices of of that as well. That's just these are just examples of just different care transitions that you may have to go through. Once again, Medicare is not a long-term care plan, it's an acute care plan. This is the real cost of care, guys. And I've been in the care industry, I've I've I've been an agency owner, like Simone said, over 10 years. It's been a long time. So I've I've taken Medicaid before. I'm predominantly private pay because a lot of times these insurances do not really pay you. And then, you know, you're looking crazy, then you're trying to, you know, recoup the funds from the family. So I'm pre I'm mostly private pay, and we do long-term, we take long-term care insurance. So you're looking at home care about 44 hours per week, is that's about$78,000 a year. Assistant living, one private room is about$74,000. A nursing home, let's say that 100-day stay is over with, is$127,000 a year. And what they do is if they have any assets, if they have, they you have to turn over everything, you know, disability, anything. They would spin down everything that that parent has, and then they will, you know, call you, pick them up when nothing's left. Right. And like I said, we that's the last, that's the worst case scenario. We we don't we don't want that to happen. We don't want, we don't want that to happen. In the event that you may have to end up in the ICU, you know, with a loved one, the time to get these documents is is documents is not in the ICU. It's actually today. Hospital readmission, one of five Medicare patients are readmitted within 30 days of discharge. A care transition plan significantly, uh significantly reduces the risk. So I do work with, I do work with families. I will come beside you. I have a I have a registered nurse, I actually have a primary care doctor as well on my team where we create, create and curate a personalized plan so that so that parent or loved one will not have to go back to the hospital. Now, there is there is some emergencies to where that parent may have to go back, but we we try to keep we try to keep that rehab at home unless they're actually in that nursing rehab facility. So we create we create that that plan alongside the the emergency room physicians, the hospital, the hospital distance, and all of that. That's something special that we do as a as an agency as well. Discharge is not the finish line, it's the it's the starting gun. The 72 hours after discharge are the most critical. Medication errors falls and confusion spike immediately after. So this is this is this is gonna get extensive. So discharge day checklist, medications reconciled, emergency contract numbers say, home safety assessed, follow-up appointments scheduled, reading discharge, discharge instructions received, transportation confirmed before leaving the hospital, not after. I want to talk about signs that your parent or loved one may need care, right? The rest of those slides, that's it's gonna it's gonna get long in the sense of I know we don't have a lot of time and I want to leave room for questions. If you walk, if you if you if you have a family event and that and that person is usually like the person cooking or they or they bring something special every time and they you know are of sound mind and you see them and they and every time you see them, you know, they look they look worse and worse. Pay attention to that. A lot of times we're very busy, we're you know, we're dealing with the children, we're dealing with people, we're dealing to with that, and you know, our loved ones could be, you know, deteriorating in front of us at a rapid pace and we don't really realize it until it's too late and they've had a fall, and boom, they're in the hospital. After a fall, they're gone. So I think, I think, you know, if you stay long distance from that parent or or from that loved one, you know, have a neighbor check on them, right? FaceTime them regularly. Let me see, mama, hold the phone up. Let me see, let me see what you got on, right? A lot of times they will avoid you visiting them. Um, I just went through this with my dad. They will avoid you visiting them because they don't want you to see the debris in the house. They don't want you to see the unopened mail. They don't want you to see that they don't, they have all this old food in the refrigerator and you know, because it gets it just gets bad, right? So when you see any of those signs, that is a sign that something's not right. And, you know, of course, sometimes people can be stubborn, they don't want help, but it could be a simple tweak to their medication. It could be a simple visit to the doctor for a diagnosis that they didn't know that they had. And if we catch it early enough, you know, we can actually help save their life and give them more time here with us, right? So I just want to emphasize just really, really paying attention and you know, calling and checking on that person. Make if you're not able to be there, making sure somebody is there, even if you even if you say, you know what, I got an extra hundred, I got an extra$200 a month. I'm gonna get a caregiver to go in there once or twice a week to check on them for four hours a day and to read a book with them because mama lost papa and and she's depressed, she's down, you know. I want somebody to come help her. I can't do it, but I can pay, I can donate$200 for her to help her, you know, we have somebody to take care of her. You also have adult daycares where they will pick the parent up and they will actually have activities with them. So it's so many different, it's so many different ways that you can basically get ahead of these care transitions, but it starts with just recognizing and understanding that, you know, yes, they are aging, they're getting older, and so are we, right? But we just want to make sure that, you know, we we're not left holding the shoe in one hand, and and you know, we're it you're in an emergency state all the time to where it's like oh it's like you can't really get anything done. And then, you know, the whole family is is taking heat from that that loved one, and now you gotta bring that person into your house and it creates a a chaotic scene. So that's all I got for you all today. I I do have a free resource. I'm gonna stop sharing my screen. I think I do we have a chat in here. Maybe I can drop the resource in the chat. Let's see. Do we have a do is there like a chat box at all?
SPEAKER_02Yes, there's a chat box. Angela, if you could direct her to that, I'm sure she'll take your direction for that better.
SPEAKER_03It should be if you click on let me see. There's like a little person with three lines on the bottom right from where I'm looking.
SPEAKER_00If you look at a little person, let me see. I see nothing like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like a body. Oh wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That the icon next to it.
SPEAKER_00I see something that says reactions and keep keep going.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna see like it looks like it looks like a small head and a body with three lines, and then next to it looks like a quote icon or speaking icon, so that's the chat.
SPEAKER_00Okay, what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna send, I'm gonna send the resources to Simone because I don't for some reason I'm on the web versions, I don't see any of that. Um, all I see is I see audio and I see start video, I see share, and yeah, there's no chat. So I get so so next time you know that there's no if you if you if you do the web version, there is no chat for that. But I would love to answer any questions if anybody has any any questions for me right now.
SPEAKER_03I actually have a question. Oh, go ahead for uh Simone.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, I was just gonna say thank you so much for sharing that uh invaluable information. I definitely picked up some things that I need to be thinking about for my mom. It's just it's just uh things that we need to talk about. So I really appreciate your expertise and your knowledge and your experience. And yeah, it's it's a perfect time to open the floor up for any questions. And Angela, you're you're welcome to and I'll share those slides with you ladies as well. Yeah, and I'll and and what you whatever you want to share with them, just send it to me and I'll make sure they get it, okay?
SPEAKER_04Okay, I have a question. I didn't I think you may have said that you do, but do you coordinate with Medicare for the care or do you just provide guidance?
SPEAKER_00So it just so it just really depends on what you need. Medicare, like I said, it does is it's for acute care, right? Now, Medicare does pay for hospice services, but there has to be some type of chronic illness for someone to, and they have to have like they give they're giving them like six months to a year to live or something like that, which a lot of people are on hospice way longer, but Medicare is doesn't pay for in-home care. So, but I do have hospice uh partners, I do have assisted living partners, and I do have skilled nursing facility partners that I work with as well. If you're if you're saying like coordinating care as far as like the Medicare with the with the things that Medicare pays for, yes.
SPEAKER_04A a little bit of that, but yeah, that's that's pretty much the question that I was asking. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So so what would you look so give me an example of which are you saying um a little bit of that? Okay.
SPEAKER_04It's if someone, for instance, if I have to Start the process of putting my mom or or any relative that I'm in charge of into a facility, and this is the first time they're using their benefits in this way. Do would I coordinate with you to get all of that coordinate, provide all the information and get it coordinated, or do you just guide me on how to coordinate with Medicare and navigating the benefits and yeah?
SPEAKER_00Um I've done I've done all I've done all either or you know, I've done like so I do one-on-one with families. We sit down, create the plan, look at the insurances, check the insurances on like what they qualify for. Because a lot of sometimes people don't have the time. So we we definitely do do that and we manage to, you know, we manage it from front to back. Or or I give you step-by-step instructions on okay, well, you know, this is what you have, and this is what I would do if, you know, for that situation. And then, like I said, if it's from a medical standpoint, then we get we get it, we bring in our clinical team on on that note.
SPEAKER_04Okay, and and I I have quite a few questions. So if anyone needs to jump in, so do you so we're at the end of life? Do you coordinate? Well, you said you coordinate hospice care. So do is that a do you require a power of attorney that may be too far, or do is it just authority? Giving do you require a level of authority to go ahead and and coordinate everything? So for instance, you the person, yeah, the person that's in charge mentally can't handle that, but they're okay with you delegating that to you to do those services. Is that something that you do?
SPEAKER_00So we provide the home care. I have a hospice partner, and all I would do is I would I would give her the person's name and number, and she would actually go and visit the patient. And we would we would just need an order from her doctor or from their doctor saying, hey, you know, they are hospice appropriate, and then what the diagnosis is, she'll ask you, she'll ask you a set of questions and she will know if you qualify or not for hospice. But if you say end of life, I'm pretty much sure you, you know, if it's end of life, if it's truly end of life, right? They if she that they the person will qualify. So basically, I just punch you. I I I refer you, I do, I send a referral form, and then they contact you, and then and then they they come through the full sign up. Now, if it's for home care, it'll it'll be me, which is uh a private pay situation. It'll be my team coming down coming in first.
SPEAKER_04That was gonna be my other question. Do you do private? Because the person that I'm talking about is already in the home, and they are there is there isn't gonna be a facility that they will be going to. Okay. And but I think at this point they are still looking for someone to come into the home and just help coordinate care, or have someone. Do you have someone that can just come and sit with the person, make sure they're bathed, fed, just basically what I think is fine.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so home health aid. Yes, yes, we we we definitely do that.
SPEAKER_03That's not what he was trying to do. I need your throw her off. He was trying to be he was trying to slide in. Hello?
SPEAKER_00Yes, okay, yes, Miss Phyllis. Um, and and Simona have my information that way we can talk further on on those things because we we definitely we definitely can help you out.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Yes, I have quite a few. Like you said, we're the sandwich generation, and I think it will it will be good information for to pass out to everyone.
Support For Burned Out Caregivers
SPEAKER_00Yes. Um it it it's it's it's a lot. It's just it's a lot, and um, and it comes quickly. It comes it comes quickly, and that's why you know I'm I'm doing this this whole thing. I was glad to talk about it here. I could talk about it all day, like literally, because that's this is what I love to do. My grandmother got MS around, I think 45 was diagnosed with MS, and my mom was her her total caregiver, and she was given horrible care before my mother became her caregiver. So that's kind of like why I started my company.
SPEAKER_04Okay, and the last question: Do you provide any type of service in support of the caregiver?
SPEAKER_00Okay. So I have I have resources for you all.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00I I know I know therapists, I do events for caregivers as well. So when I do events, I'll I'll put you, I have a newsletter where I where I'm I do like a free yoga class, we do sound healing, we do, you know, prayer, you know, just different, just I have a chaplain that'll that'll pray for you all as well. So so I will be curating more monthly events because I really, really feel like the caregivers really, really are burned out and they really need the support and and they need the self-care as well, because sometimes all the energy goes into that person that they're taking care of, and and then they're that then that resentment comes because I've neglected myself to take care of you, and we don't want that to happen.
SPEAKER_04Okay. All right, those are all the questions I have. This has been so informative. I appreciate you coming on here at the last minute. I'm not closing it down, but I just want to get a little bit more. No problem, no, no problem.
SPEAKER_00Um I hate that we had this technical difficulties, but that's okay. I'm definitely open to talking more and doing more talks with you all if needed. And just just I'm just here to to help others, you know. Any anybody else? Any other questions?
SPEAKER_01I do have a question. Can I go ahead? Can you hear me?
SPEAKER_00I can hear you.
SPEAKER_01Okay. First, I want to say thank you. It was a great presentation. We don't hear a lot about this. I think it's very important for everyone that has aging parents, and it was uh incredible the work you're doing. By the way, I teach a class in psychology of aging. We covered actually last week long-term care. So a lot of things that you cover uh we discuss in this class. A lot of students don't know anything about it, so it's very important that we talk about long-term care uh insurance, we talk about also housing options for older adults. My question, I don't know, maybe you mentioned, but I may but miss. Do you um the first step? Do you meet with the families and kind of see what are the needs they have? And then you kind of provide a solution, like whether they need an in-home care, whether the options will be uh sister leaving or maybe a nursing home. Do you do that uh step?
SPEAKER_00Yes, we we so I first first sometimes everybody can't come meet at the same place. So, what we do, what I'll do, I could do like a Zoom with the whole family, like all the sisters and everybody, because I've had to mediate conversations that didn't want to be had as well. I'm kind of like the I'll be the expert on the line, and you know, like somebody's like, Mom doesn't kneec care, and it's like, yes, she does. And I'm just like, and then I bring my nurse on to give the clinical standpoint on like why she does kneecare. So I mean, I've I've I've even had out of town people, uh, like a I had an adult child, I had a son who he was going through kidney, you know, dialysis, and his mom, they were about to kick her out of a nursing home. I had to go to the nursing home, get her an extension, find a place for her to go, put her on hospice as well. So it's nothing like when I tell you can't transition specialists, isn't it? If I can't do it, I have I have two other, two or three other people, and I also have some caseworkers and social workers that I work with, and we figured, we, we figured out a plan. So long story short, yes, I come and I will come back, come and sit there, and we will figure out what's needed. Sometimes people don't have documentation, they don't have progress notes from the doctor, all that. I just say, hey, whatever you have, if there's a recent doctor visit, if you don't have a doctor's visit, I have a concierge doctor that can actually do a visit. And that way we can know what we're working with because sometimes, you know, we do have those parents who do not want to, do not go to the doctor, or they, or they don't, or you don't really know that they didn't go for a long time and then they're taking these spy medications and all that, you know, but hoping and hoping that everybody's parents going to the doctor or getting some type of business in. I'm telling you, I've y'all I've seen so I've seen so much, and I'm just trying to really, you know, get ahead of a lot of situations for people.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. Awesome. Do you um do you uh where do people find you when they need help?
SPEAKER_00So um I I have a website, www.thecaregirl.com.
SPEAKER_05Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00And it has, yeah, thecaregirl.com. And then I'll also send some on my my social media and all that good stuff for you all. Yeah. Oh, there you go. So you know, she she popped it in the chat. Um, see, oh, I can see the message.
SPEAKER_01I will share with my students in class. I do teach, uh, we talk about long-term care. We talked actually last week. That was a whole week we covered long-term care. And so it'd be great to share your your what the work you do uh with my students.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, oh, so now I can I look now I see the chat. It's on the side right there. See, I couldn't see, I couldn't see it at first. I couldn't see it at first. I'm gonna I'm gonna drop the the care kit in there for the free the free emergency preparedness kit for you all. And and then on that website, it should it has my number, it it has my email and everything as well. I'm going to drop that for you all.
SPEAKER_01Let's see, where perfect, thank you.
Handling Denial And Distance Caregiving
SPEAKER_00No problem, you're welcome. I I have a YouTube as well, guys. Like I'm I talk about this subject all of the time. People probably get tired of me, but I'm going to keep talking and because I'm I I get so many emails that and people talk to me and they're like, I didn't know this, I didn't know that. And actually, you know, it's all about helping helping others for me. So I'm just glad to be able to be able to be a blessing to others. That's my that's the free emergency preparedness kids. I still send everything to Simone that way she can forward the email. Uh Shavanda, did you have something to say? I I saw you you okay.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, um, no, I was yeah, kind of, yeah, kind of like in the situation which you was kind of describing in the beginning, in a sense, and literally, and I'm trying to figure out like what how do I you know I talk with my mom, my stepmom and my dad uh slowly trying because they're so independent and they don't really want to acknowledge that you know they need the help but they need a caregiver. Oh yeah, and uh and uh Georgia, but they're in Florida, and I'm like uh the main, you know, care, even though my siblings are down there and my brother, you know, and my cousins or my aunt sometimes go and help, but my sisters, they're not really, you know, doing what they're supposed to do. So I'm mainly the go-to person when they need everything because they're like, you're the only one that they listen to. But I'm like, no, because I'm having a problem not getting them on board with, you know, and my my stepmom keeps like in the early stages of dementia, and my father gets up and age. It's like rubbing off on him some type of so I'm trying to find out how to get them to uh see that they must have my my father is coming on board slowly but surely, but it's my stepmom who really needs it because she's the early states of dementia, and you know, she's like this independent state of denial, and you know, and still, but it's really taking a call out on my father, you know, and still trying to help. So I'm just trying to find resources to get them on board with getting that type of stuff done. So I know I would be the person that needs to do all of that stuff, but I'm trying to figure out what other resources. I know you're saying that you on YouTube and stuff. I'm trying to figure out like, is it another uh voice I can show them?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, some of that.
SPEAKER_05Like I know, you know, sometimes you can explain and this and that, and it takes someone else that it really quickly sometimes. So I was just trying to figure out what uh you were saying like YouTube or something. So I was just wondering, did you have like other resources or or contacts where I can get in contact like with your information for the show them, you know, different things like with the getting on board with the with the with the care, the medical, you know, directive and all that. So I just I just did it with my dad when I was down there at his primary care, but I'm trying to get it with my mom. So yeah. So it's just a process, but I'm just trying to get it.
Building A Circle Of Care
SPEAKER_00It's in the in it in the in the in its longer drawn out for no reason sometimes. I get I get that. And sometimes sometimes, you know, it takes it takes time. Sometimes you gotta you gotta leave it alone and you gotta come back to it, you know, or you or you or you gotta get to get through uh you gotta give get give it to somebody that they you don't, it's like an unbiased opinion. Maybe their doctor or somebody that they love and trust, a pastor, and and you know, and and sometimes you just gotta let it, you gotta just let it breathe and pray for them and say, okay, all right, well, you know, and then you just you and then you we could we could even have a meeting, you know, do a little virtual meeting, right? And then we could talk about, you know, hey, uh, it's a lady who she she I want y'all to talk to her and you just tell kind of like what if y'all need anything, can y'all just tell her what y'all need? You know, that if y'all need anything in the around the house and the help around the house, you know, she she just wanna, you know, know if there's anything that y'all need. Or you could just ask them yourself, do y'all need any extra help? I notice it's a little dirty over here, you know. We well, I do y'all want somebody to come and help y'all every now and then? You know, it don't have to be like a serious, serious conversation. And you can even, because because they they may need somebody, they may not want a young person, they may want a person that's you know middle-aged or, you know, it's just kind of asking them what they want. And but sometimes I've seen parents that don't let you do out there.
SPEAKER_05Because it's it's it's the opposite with them. It's like I'm the one that they only want to do. Yeah, and so and I'm like, I can't really do a lot because I stay up here, you know. I can only do so, and so I'm like, it's taking a toll on me because I gotta go back and forth, back and forth, and I'm not really getting all the support that I need, you know.
SPEAKER_00Have you told them, hey, mom, dad, I'm tired. I wanna bring in another me, if that's okay with you all. And I will make sure that, you know, that they are a good person to bring in, but I can't do everything. I gotta take care of, you know, this person, that person. And, you know, this is this is the schedule of when I can come and I'm gonna make sure I'm here. But while I'm not here, I want to make sure y'all are okay. You know, and it and and they gotta understand, they gotta be okay with that because you can't burn yourself out and then you have you still, you, you giving yourself health problems and issues going back and forth because, you know, we're aging as well, you know, slower than them, of course. They're older than us, but at the same time, they need to understand there are other siblings that can be helping as well. And and we can also utilize your insurance or you know, however that goes, adult daycare, and just and just really create a it's a it's about it's a care team. It's a care team, it's not one person. You know, we need to create this circle of care. You know, I hope that helped. I hope that helped. We'll talk, we can talk more. I can talk, like I said, y'all got y'all will have my information, and then this is actually my number. So I'm gonna drop my number as well to have more, you know, if we need to get on the phone and talk a little bit more. 9193. You know, text me and then I'll give y'all some, uh, I'll send y'all my link to just talk, have, you know, free call and talk a little talk it out a little bit more. I'm I'm definitely okay, okay with that, but I definitely don't be running around and being the only one where you have siblings, and then if they also have money to take pay-per-care and a housekeeper or however they go, volunteer at the church, however it goes. We gotta create a circle of care. And that's the that's the number one thing. You're part of the circle. You're not the you're not the you're not the circle, but you're a part of the circle. But I hope that helped you all. I'm I'm so glad that I was able to come on and and talk about this. Like I said, I could I can talk about this for a long time.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know what? I I will jump in and say that unless anybody else has any questions, let me just make sure no one else has questions. Is Dr. DeRosa is your hand raised? Dr. DeRosa, or was that earlier?
SPEAKER_00It was earlier. Oh, yeah, she put a she put a she put a thumbs up on okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02Did did anybody else have any questions before we move on? Before we and the zoom?
SPEAKER_03I didn't have any questions, but I wanted to say thank you for this presentation. It was very informative. And once the slides come through, I'm actually going to share it with a friend of mine who's taking care of her by herself, even though she has siblings and and kids, but she's the primary caretaker while trying to work full-time. And she could she needs this help. So I'm I'm definitely going to forward it once I get it. So thank you for taking your time to meet with us and and share this information.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. I appreciate you all, and y'all have a real a blessed weekend and night.
SPEAKER_02Wait, wait, before you hang up, Alexandria, I wanted to say on behalf of the 40 and Upward Society at Georgia State University, uh, Angela, uh Secretary, uh uh vice president, myself, and Dr. DeRosa. Uh the uh she is the she is the the woman to know in terms of gerontology at Georgia State. We're very uh very, very honored to have had you join us today. Uh really uh uh topic spoke that we did not know about. Some of us knew some things about it, but you definitely shed some light on some information that we all needed to hear. And that is including me. I learned some things that I actually want to engage with you upon on uh regarding my own mother. So thank you so very much. I'm almost getting emotional because you really you really did do what you said you were gonna do and you're doing it well. And I so appreciate you what you shared tonight. So, with that said, thank you again, and we'll make sure we get everybody gets the information that they want and me.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. Y'all have a good rest of your night.
SPEAKER_02Okay, you as well.