How To Be WellnStrong

45: How To Heal From Heartbreak, Love Your Single Life, & Live Your Best Life | Stephanie May Wilson

March 19, 2024 Jacqueline Genova Episode 45
45: How To Heal From Heartbreak, Love Your Single Life, & Live Your Best Life | Stephanie May Wilson
How To Be WellnStrong
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How To Be WellnStrong
45: How To Heal From Heartbreak, Love Your Single Life, & Live Your Best Life | Stephanie May Wilson
Mar 19, 2024 Episode 45
Jacqueline Genova

Send me a text!

Today’s episode is very special to me because I am speaking with someone who has had a profound impact on my life.  She is an encourager, a source of  inspiration, and a new special friend. Stephanie May Wilson is an author and a popular podcaster who is on a mission to help women navigate through their biggest decisions in life. Through her books, her podcast, and her online courses, Stephanie helps women take off the pressure of what their lives are “supposed to” look like by now, figure out where they actually want to go in life, and take steps to get there.  She has been featured on NBC, the Anthropologie blog, and in Relevant magazine. She has also been a longtime contributor to CNBC’s Nightly Business Report, Darling magazine, and the Christian Mingle blog. When she’s not writing, speaking, or recording a podcast episode, Stephanie is usually packing for a global adventure with her husband, Carl, laughing with her close tribe of girlfriends, or curled up in her Nashville home with her twin toddlers, Annie and Quinn. I hope my conversation with Stephanie encourages you, especially if you find yourself experiencing a season of heartbreak, are struggling with comparison, or even just wondering what to do when God seems silent.

Suggested Resources:

This episode is proudly sponsored by:

Sprout Living, an incredible brand that crafts the cleanest organic plant protein, meal replacements, drink mixes and more. Visit www.sproutliving.com and use the code WELLNSTRONg to save 20%. 

This episode is proudly sponsored by Wedderspoon, my go-to source for pure manuka honey. They're offering WellnStrong followers 15% off with the code “wellnstrong” at checkout!

Join the WellnStrong mailing list for exclusive content here!

Want more of The How To Be WellnStrong Podcast? Subscribe to the YouTube channel.


Follow Jacqueline:


Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send me a text!

Today’s episode is very special to me because I am speaking with someone who has had a profound impact on my life.  She is an encourager, a source of  inspiration, and a new special friend. Stephanie May Wilson is an author and a popular podcaster who is on a mission to help women navigate through their biggest decisions in life. Through her books, her podcast, and her online courses, Stephanie helps women take off the pressure of what their lives are “supposed to” look like by now, figure out where they actually want to go in life, and take steps to get there.  She has been featured on NBC, the Anthropologie blog, and in Relevant magazine. She has also been a longtime contributor to CNBC’s Nightly Business Report, Darling magazine, and the Christian Mingle blog. When she’s not writing, speaking, or recording a podcast episode, Stephanie is usually packing for a global adventure with her husband, Carl, laughing with her close tribe of girlfriends, or curled up in her Nashville home with her twin toddlers, Annie and Quinn. I hope my conversation with Stephanie encourages you, especially if you find yourself experiencing a season of heartbreak, are struggling with comparison, or even just wondering what to do when God seems silent.

Suggested Resources:

This episode is proudly sponsored by:

Sprout Living, an incredible brand that crafts the cleanest organic plant protein, meal replacements, drink mixes and more. Visit www.sproutliving.com and use the code WELLNSTRONg to save 20%. 

This episode is proudly sponsored by Wedderspoon, my go-to source for pure manuka honey. They're offering WellnStrong followers 15% off with the code “wellnstrong” at checkout!

Join the WellnStrong mailing list for exclusive content here!

Want more of The How To Be WellnStrong Podcast? Subscribe to the YouTube channel.


Follow Jacqueline:


*Unedited Transcript*


Jacqueline: [00:00:00] Welcome to the podcast. How to be well and strong. I'm your host, Jacqueline Genova, and I'm excited to have you join me as I speak with some of the leading figures in the fields of wellness, integrative medicine and mental health as we discover what it truly means to be well and strong in both body and mind.

Get ready to be empowered, inspired and motivated about being an advocate for your own health.

Today's episode is so special for me because I'm so. Speaking with someone who has had a very significant impact on my life through her podcast, which was actually the very first podcast I ever listened to. She is an encourager, an inspiration, a light, and one of my new friends, and I'm so excited to share our conversation with you.

Stephanie Mae Wilson is an author and top podcaster who's on a mission to be who she needed when she was younger. Walking women through life's biggest decisions and transitions through her books, her podcast, and our online courses, [00:01:00] Stephanie helps women take off the pressure of what their lives are supposed to look like by now, figure out where they actually want to go in life and take steps to get there.

Stephanie has been featured on NBC, the anthropology blog and relevant magazine. She has also been a longtime blog contributor for CNBC's nightly business report. Darling Magazine, and the Christian Mingle blog. When she's not writing, speaking, or recording a podcast episode, Stephanie is usually packing for a global adventure with her husband Carl, laughing with her close tribe of girlfriends, or curled up in her Nashville home with her twin toddlers, Annie and Quinn.

I hope my conversation with Stephanie encourages you. Especially if you find yourself experiencing a season of heartbreak or struggling with comparison or even just wondering what to do when God seems silent. Without further ado, let's get into our conversation. I just want to start off by saying that this is so surreal for me, Stephanie, to be able to see you because your podcast was the very first podcast I ever [00:02:00] listened to in my entire life.

And that was back in 2020. And, I've been listening to you ever since for the past four years, and I feel like I know you, which is so funny, but I feel like I should be wearing, like, pajamas or something or something more, like, representative of Girls Night, but I'm in comfy clothes, so hopefully that still works.

Stephanie: I love that so much. Yeah, we really should. I put on, like, actual clothes, but I To be very frank, I have pajamas on, on the bottom. So I'm doing the, I call it the entrepreneurial mullet, where you're a business on the top, party on the bottom. That's what we have going on right now. I am so happy to meet you though.

And thank you so much for listening to the show. That means so much to me. That is so encouraging and just like, and then like what you're doing is huge and amazing. And I've been just Stalking it like crazy. I'm so like you're creating something beautiful and I'm so happy to get to be part of it. Aw, 

Jacqueline: I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug right now.

That means [00:03:00] so much to me. Yeah. I started well and strong back in 2020, and it really began as a platform for me to just share the research I was doing for my mom during her breast cancer journey. I started the podcast last May, so I have about 44 episodes so far. I still consider myself a newbie stuff, but I've honestly been having so much fun and.

It's really just provided me the opportunity to meet people like yourself, whom I've admired for so long, and just really have fun conversations. So it's been a blast. I've been enjoying it a ton. 

Stephanie: I love that. I feel like everyone should start a podcast because that is like, that's the, the secret of it is like, you get to talk to people who are doing really interesting things.

And like, it's, it's an excuse to talk to people who you're like, I've always wanted to talk to now I have a reason or like an excuse to, to be like, Hey, Want to chat for an hour like it's Yeah, yeah, 

Jacqueline: exactly. It's like want to be friends, but just to backtrack. So I told you stuff that your podcast was the very first one I [00:04:00] ever listened to.

And that's because I was coming right out of a breakup. Um, it was a pretty long relationship, a few years. And I remember just being in a not so great place, which. You know, you've experienced, I'm sure many of our listeners have, and obviously I was trying to just search for resources to help me, right? So I remember going to Apple Podcasts, I forget what I typed in, it was something to the effect of like how to heal from heartbreak, and your podcast came up, and as I told you, I just binge listened to like, Every single episode, I bought your book, The Lipstick Gospel, which I absolutely loved.

Highly recommend it to anyone going through a breakup, but again, your work just really, it really impacted me and inspired me and helped me through some really tough times and tough years. But now looking back, I can look at my journey and say, wow, like Steph was right. All of this good, Came out of something that was so horrible.[00:05:00] 

I would not be sitting here talking to you if that breakup didn't happen. Like I wouldn't have Well and Strong if that breakup didn't happen. So it's just crazy to see how God works, but, um, there's just so much stuff that we could talk about and I'm probably going to be jumping around a bit, but I did want to get right into it and just start off with the topic of breakups because this is something almost everyone either, you know, has or will experience at some point in their lives.

And you just have such a beautiful perspective on that whole experience from how it shaped you to how it changed you and how it grew you. So for anyone listening right now, Who is struggling with a breakup? What advice or encouragement could you offer them? 

Stephanie: Oh, it won't be like this forever. I feel like that's just, you know, when you're in a hard season, that is the hardest thing to wrap your mind around.

That like, it actually won't hurt like this forever. It [00:06:00] won't, you will not be in this place a few months from now, definitely not a few years from now. Um, it just, this will not last forever. And. I, yeah, I just, I've needed that during so many hard seasons because it does, it feels like this pain, this loss, this feeling of being lost is going to last like, was this, this is who I am now.

This is how, this is how my life is now. And that's not the case. I think people say that, um, you know, in, in the wake of breakups, people say a couple things that I find to be like particularly unhelpful. One of them is that time heals all wounds. All wounds. And I think that that is semi true. Like things do get better with time.

I think the further out from a breakup you get, or really any loss, any, any, you know, significant event in your life, it does get better. Like there, there is kind of a [00:07:00] scabbing and healing process, but I think that there are some things that we can do during breakups that for lack of a less gross metaphor, like picks the scab.

Um, and I, uh, Like, I know this because I've done it. There are things that, like, prolong the healing, that make the, the damage worse. And I, you know, I know that in the wake of, like, my worst breakup, or I mean, gosh, several of them, it wasn't a clean break. There was a lot of, like, going back and trying again and, you know, and then, like, there were, I had a relationship where it was, like, well, we'll be together, but, like, we're not technically together, like, as if that would change anything, you know, like, as if.

A title actually really does that much, uh, makes that much of a difference or, you know, there are relationships where you break up but you see each other all the time or you don't see each other in person but you're like stalking their online presence like crazy. Um, or, you know, in the [00:08:00] wake of breakups, I think we, I, like, tend to, tended to make some really poor decisions.

You know, we, like, drink a lot or, you know, hook up with other people and think it's gonna make us feel better. And um, I think that the most helpful thing for me has been, you know, there's, there's a moment for that. Like if you're in that place where you're like, I am so heartbroken. And like, I just made a bad decision yesterday, like all the grace in the world for you, like give yourself a hug.

Put your, like, tuck yourself in a warm blanket and drink something, drink some tea. Like, you don't need to shame yourself for any decisions you make in the wake of a breakup. Like, you're doing the best you can. But, one of the most helpful things for me has been to think about a broken heart like a broken limb.

or like, uh, you know, a gash in your arm. Um, this is such a random story, but Jacqueline, we're just going to [00:09:00] go here. So on Halloween this year, on Halloween this year, I was taking my girls trick or treating. We were just getting out the door. They were about to turn three. So they're not like, like, Like, it's just a crapshoot how, how things are going to go, you know, when you're trick or treating like they may love it and maybe like the best day ever, or they may like have a meltdown.

So they were having a meltdown and they were dressed like baby sharks. I was dressed like a narwhal. Uh, my husband, Carl was just like a ship captain. We went to the nautical theme. It was a girl's idea and we're trying to get out the door. I'm holding crying babies like we're trying to, you know, make sure we have snacks and all this stuff.

And I somehow. lost my footing when stepping off of the porch of my house and fell just like, I like turned my ankle and fell straight down. But what I didn't realize is that the corner, I mean, I, I couldn't help the fact that there was a like brick corner right below my arm and my arm just like smashed on this brick, uh, like lip on my [00:10:00] porch and my arm like immediately swelled up.

Like, It was so crazy. We all thought I broke it. I still have crying babies. And then our next door neighbor, she's like 10, had the audacity to come over and be like, um, excuse me. And like, I'm crying. My girls are crying. We're like, I'm not sure if I'm bleeding or like have a broken arm or whatever. She goes, um, are you going to decorate for, uh, next Halloween?

Are you going to put decorations on your house next year? Shaming my lack of Halloween decor. Anyway. It was crazy. So that was like, it healed up. I was not, it was not broken, but I still have a scar from it. And I think about that, like, When we hurt ourselves like that, something physical, we kind of know what to do.

You know, you brace it, you protect it, you put ice on it, you care for it, you keep other things from bumping into it or scratching it again or getting into it, and you give it time. And I think that when, when I started to think [00:11:00] about breakups or a broken heart, like a physical malady or physical like injury, that's when I started to like, realized that either I was, with my actions, I was either making it better or I was making it worse.

And things like drinking too much, trying to like drown my sorrows were like, it was actually just making my sorrows worse. Or, you know, getting into another relationship right away. Like that was never a good idea. What I needed was like some tea and some time and to journal a lot and pray a lot and be around really good friends.

And I needed like to, to stop the, to protect myself from other things bumping into it, like seeing, you know, his Instagram stories or whatever, you know, I like, I needed some protection. I needed some space. And so, um, that's just like, you know, Gosh, I went through, I went round and round through that with so many different relationships where like they [00:12:00] did get better, but there were some things that I did to make them worse first.

But when I did the things that I, that like we know we need to do to take care of ourselves, to take care of our hearts and to start to heal the way that we would our bodies. I think that we, we can get through it to the other side. And I know, and you know, that there's never been a relationship that I've lost that was like, yeah.

right for me. Like, I just, none of the relationships, it may, it may have been a while, even some years before I realized, like, ah, this is why that person wasn't right for me. But I, like, I never lost someone who was right for me. And I just don't believe that you will either. 

Jacqueline: Yeah, I just got the chills. No, there's, there's so much truth to that.

I love all of that. And One thing I did, so you're going to think I'm crazy, or maybe not, because you also have that travel spirit within you, but right after my breakup, or not right after, like, maybe six months or so, I broke my lease in Boston and went out West with a friend [00:13:00] from college to go hiking for six weeks, and Stephanie, it was so freeing And healing.

And I mean, I, I still worked remotely, but like I would take off for long weekends to go hiking. But we started in Kalispell, Montana, and then made our way down to like the Grant Teton's and Yellowstone and Rocky Mountain National Park. And I just remember like this sense of accomplishment and it was a hard trip.

Like it was not easy. We did a lot of hiking. I pushed myself in ways that I never could have imagined, but it just led to this realization that. I could do hard things and right after my breakup, I remember having these thoughts of, oh, I'm not going to be able to travel anymore or go on fun hiking trips because hiking was something I used to do with my old boyfriend.

But it was so empowering and it sounds cliche, but it truly was the initiation of really finding myself through that journey because [00:14:00] when you're able to do something that you never thought you could do. you see yourself differently, right? So that's, that's kind of how I coped. Um, and I also got off social media for a solid year and a half.

I deactivated everything. It was the healthiest decision for me. And it's so funny because once I made the decision in my mind that I would like not check on things, I followed through with it. Even to this day, that's a promise that I have not broken to myself. So yeah, it's just, again, about making. The decision to say no, this is not good for me, and following through with it.

But yeah, I mean, as I mentioned earlier, like, I would not be sitting here talking with you right now if it wasn't for that breakup. I wouldn't have Well and Strong, and there's certainly a period where you're at rock bottom and there seems to be no light. That's really when you rebuild yourself from the ashes, and that's when I started building Well and Strong.

I [00:15:00] Put my time and my energy into building this platform. And that's why I say Wallenstrang was really my saving grace in more ways than one. And I mean, certainly at the core of it, it's to help people and share my mom's story and you know, things about integrative oncology, but at the heart of it too, I mean, it was my saving grace during that time because it gave me.

hope and something to work on and something to work towards, which I think is one of the best things you can do right in, in the midst of a painful situation. 

Stephanie: It's giving something to do like something positive to do with your hands. You know, like when you lose a relationship, you have a hole in your life.

Like you have a person you used to text or spend time with or go hiking with or like spend the weekends with or whatever that you don't see anymore. And that's. One of the hardest parts about it is like, just this, you just feel this like really physical gap, like hole in your life. And so to be able to fill it with something [00:16:00] that is like positive and productive and healthy for you is really good.

And then, yeah, I am a hundred percent a fan of going through something hard, bust out your passport, you know, like sad, hop on a plane. It's, it is absolutely, that is my, that's my go to. I love that. 

Jacqueline: Yeah, I love that so much. And it really is like losing your best friend. But I mean, again, with every relationship, we learn something, right?

It's like some type of experience. And I learned through that relationship that I kind of, I think, cut off myself from a lot of my friends. I got so caught up in the relationship that I really did lose track of the good friends that I had in my life, and that was definitely something that I brought back afterwards.

I was like, you know what? I actually do have some really great relationships that need tending to that I haven't put in the time or the effort in. And, you know, even right now, Steph, like, I'm not sure. I'm sitting here in Greenville and I can tell you I have so many incredible friends that I [00:17:00] have made from not only moving to Greenville, I mean, even old friendships that I just rekindled, but it has been such a blessing for me to be able to have those relationships with people that I just, you know, didn't, didn't make time for.

So, I mean, we all have to show ourselves grace, which is something I have learned. I mean, you know, I was in my early 20s at the time, but I definitely learned a lot about friendships and the importance of relationships with other people, right? You know, outside your significant other. I love that. I love that.

Yeah. Well, another thing, Stephanie, so that's the breakup phase, but what did you do in your season of waiting? So. We're past the breakup. Let's say we've healed from it. It may have taken, you know, a year, two years, but now we're in the season of waiting, right? And we're just wondering, we're like, God, I'm ready.

I'm ready to date someone. Where are they? How do we deal with trusting God? [00:18:00] in those seasons of waiting? 

Stephanie: It's um, it's really hard, you know, especially, especially because as we get into, you know, it's different for all of us. I know for some of us, you know, our friends are getting married at like 21 or something.

That wasn't the case for me, but It was sort of in my like later 20s that people started to couple off and I started to go to a lot of weddings and I, and, and that was the time that, yeah, that was the time that for me, I, I thought that that would be happening for me. So it was like, kind of like the alarm went off and I'm like, okay, God, like, hello, where is he?

And it was really hard to watch other people get this thing that I wanted so badly. And it was also hard to be patient, you know, and then also hard to know, like, what am I supposed to be doing right now? Because everybody has different advice for, for what it looks like to wait well. And again, you know, I feel like this, the theme of this episode might be, People had bad advice.[00:19:00] 

Like, you know, people tell you to do this. I don't think that's right. But really, I think, you know, there's a lot of, especially in the church, there's a lot of pressure on relationships, sort of like you get your, your adult membership card or like a diploma or something when you get married. Um, it's like, like it's this end all be all for your life.

Uh, people talk about marriage like that. And then also the process of like getting there, people make kind of weird. There's like, I don't know, this idea that you should know who your person is or know if this is your person before you go. to lunch with them once or that like it happens when you are least expecting it.

So you should like not put yourself out there at all. And that's what waiting on God looks like is to just like, you know, sit there in your house with your hands open and just wait for it to happen. And, and I've just never found any of those things to actually be that helpful. And so through a lot of trial and error in my own life, the thing that I [00:20:00] learned was that The best way to set myself up for the next season and this is actually true.

I found this to be true in many seasons of life. This might be one of those things that's like always true. The best way to set yourself up for the next season is to be really present in your current season, to really make the most of your current one. And there are so many reasons that that's the case.

One is we don't know what is going to happen in our lives. Like we, we have no idea if we're going to you. get married if we're gonna have kids or if we're gonna get that job or whatever the thing is that we're waiting on. There are parts of our lives where we don't actually get guarantees. And so one way to think about it is like, and this is a hard way to think about it, is if this didn't happen for me, what would I want to spend my life doing?

doing? Because I think that there's this, this tendency to put your life on hold while you're waiting for another part of it to show up. So it's like, if that's not going to show [00:21:00] up, how do I want to live my life? And then also, if it is going to show up, like when I was single, I had this sort of revelation, um, I was brushing my teeth and I feel like God just sort of dropped into my bathroom and was like, you know, if, if I told you that this was all going to work out in four years, four years, you were going to be happily married to like your favorite person in the whole world and it was all going to be okay.

Better than okay. How would you live your life today? And I immediately knew I would go hiking in, you know, national parks. I would, I wouldn't, I would go to Europe. But I'd eat food in, in, uh, That's 

Jacqueline: next on my list. 

Stephanie: I'd eat good food in Europe, but I'm like not a great hiker. I'm from Colorado, but I'm, I'm a really bad hiker.

Um, so like, but that's what I would do. I would go on trips with my girlfriends. I would spend time with my girlfriends. I would build a business. I would try, like, I would take on physical challenges that felt like they were beyond something that I could [00:22:00] do. And I would gain so much confidence in finding out that, like, I can do hard things, just like you said.

And, you know, I would, I would heal some of the things in my heart that had been broken over the years. And I'd spend a lot of time in therapy. I would, um, really invest in my faith. I would, you know, do all these things. And so that's what I did. I was like, okay, that I I'm pretty sure what God was getting at there is that that's what it looks like to trust Him.

Not to sit and do nothing, but to get up and do everything, believing that the next thing will happen when the next thing, like, the next thing will come. And the cool thing about that is that there's so many, again, for lack of a less gross, metaphor, like this kills like several birds with one stone. So not only is this a great way to live, to be faithful and trusting with this season of your life, but it's also a really, really great way to meet [00:23:00] people.

Like we're not going to meet great people by not doing anything. We meet people by doing things, by being out in the world and exploring and doing things. engaging with our lives and, and the people in the world. Like that's how we meet people. And then also through doing those things, through going to therapy, through, you know, investing in your faith through, you know, being healthy through, you know, just all these different things.

That's how you're ready for a great relationship when you do meet someone. So it all works together in just this really beautiful way. And also, you know, to your point about building your business in the wake of this heartbreak, like it was really helpful for you to have something to do with your hands and making the most of your life today is something to do with your hands is something productive you can focus on.

When you can't totally focus on like you can date and put yourself out there. And I totally think we should, if you feel ready to be in a [00:24:00] relationship, go for it. You need to be, like, talking to people. Let's go. Yeah, time to go. But, uh, you can't, you can't make the next person be the person. So there is a degree of waiting.

And I think having really healthy, productive, positive things to do with your time, with your hands, makes that, that waiting so much easier. But it really does. Like, that's how you end up meeting someone great and how you end up ready for the relationship when the time comes. It just, it's amazing how it all works together like that.

Jacqueline: Yeah, that's so spot on. You touched on something, though, that I'm really learning to, I guess, be more intentional about, and that's being content in this season, and just doing things that bring me joy, that serve others, rather than waiting for the next season, because I feel like, to your point, like, there's always something next on the list, right?

So, if you're dating, then you want to be engaged, then you want to be married, then you want to have kids, and then it just like, it becomes like you're checking the boxes, Something I really struggle with, too, and I mean, we all do, but [00:25:00] that's comparison, and I'm going to get really vulnerable here, Steph, but I had, like, three friends, literally in the past two weeks, tell me that they just got engaged, so I'm 28, and obviously, this is the season for engagement for many people, and I am beyond happy for them, I truly am, but I think it's really important to show that yourself, or myself rather, Grace, and realizing that, you know, you can still be happy for someone but also sad for yourself.

So that's something I've been really trying to navigate and it really is about perspective but just like tactically, what did you do when you were in that situation? How did you avoid comparison? And how are you there and present in that situation? and happy for your friends that were in that season of life.

Um, 

Stephanie: one of the things, this is like a little bit, so help, help me make sure that I like get back to, to this [00:26:00] question. Because there's one thing I wanted to say first that, that's connected to this. There's something that I talk about in my course, Love Your Single Life. Um, I made a whole course about this because all the advice I was seeing out in the world was so, so helpful.

unhelpful. But I was like, I need to, you know, I really learned some things that made a really big difference for me, changed my whole life and my marriage before I even had one. And so I was like, I need to, I need to write this down. And so that's, that became this course. But one of the things they talk about in the course is about, we tell, there's that, you know, adage that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

And It's just not true. The grass is green over there, but it also has some brown spots, and the grass under your feet is green and also has some brown spots, but they're different. And that's the thing that I think is really, like, that's one of the primary motivators, I think, or one of the, you know, from, from where I [00:27:00] am.

I'm sitting on my side of the fence with my greenery and my brown spots looking at your side of the fence. I'm like, Hey, there are some really special things about this season of life for you that I can't do anymore. Like I don't, there are things that you get to do that are like absolutely not an option for me in this season of my life.

Like I have two sick three year olds downstairs that they're well taken care of right now. Don't, no one worry. No, no one worry. Um, like I have two sick three year olds downstairs. And so like one, I can't work today. Like this is, this is my only like, I, and I love my work, but this is, this is what I get to do today.

Everything else has to get put on the back burner today. Like I don't get to take a nap today. I don't get to, basically do anything that I want today. It's, you know, there are, I get lots of toddler snuggles and like they say the funniest things and being a mom is so cool. But also like it's a lot of work that I didn't have to do in previous seasons of [00:28:00] life.

And so it's like every season of life is like that. When you're single, you get to show up at an event, not having gotten in a fight with anybody in the car on the way. When you're in a relationship, I don't know why, but it's like the events that you want to be the most like, connected for, it's like, I don't know, someone's woke up on the wrong side of the bed and you end up having a hard conversation on the way and you're sitting in the parking lot like trying to get through it so you can go inside and like that just doesn't happen when you're single.

Um, that also doesn't happen very often anymore. Like I've been married. This is crazy. I've been married for almost 10 years. Whoa. 

Jacqueline: Wow. And again, like, I feel like I've been with you on that whole journey. I know. I know. 

Stephanie: Like, we've been married almost 10 years. Yeah. I can't believe it. Um, but like, so we don't really fight in the car anymore.

But also, like, you know, the chances of someone peeing their pants that's in my car is, like, really high at this point. So anyway. You win some you lose some is my point. And I think that realizing that seeing the things that are [00:29:00] genuinely hard about your friend's seasons of life, even when they're engaged, you know, like they have hard stuff that they're dealing with just like you do.

It's different, but there are a lot of gifts available to you in whatever season you're in that some of your friends might not have or might not have anymore. Um, and that's just always true. So, okay, practically, When all my friends were getting engaged and I was not. Um, I cried about it. I, uh, worried about it.

I, Like, yeah, all the things. Um, I think, I think let yourself feel what you need to feel. I think honestly, this is a really good time to be in therapy. Like to have a therapist that you are saying all the things to, you know, that you're like, no one is ever going to love me. And I don't know why she got married or like why she's getting married first because I should have gotten married first.

And you're like, that is the ugliest thought. I don't want any, I don't even want that to be in my head, let alone acknowledge [00:30:00] it. But to have a place to kind of work through some of those things, I think is really helpful. I think the biggest damage I think what we're trying to avoid in this time is losing friendships, and I think that that can really happen.

You know, I've had none of my close friends, um, did this. Most of my close friends had someone else that did this, that was having such a hard time in their own life with their own singleness that they like, kind of sabotage the wedding or the bachelorette party or, you know, they ended up, you know, drinking too much and crying and getting, you know, getting mad at the bride or feeling like the celebration of the bride was a personal affront to them or they kind of made it about themselves and like took away some of the joy from their friend.

And it's not just the damage wasn't just that they took away some joy from their friend that they love, it's that their friendship really suffered if not ended. And I think [00:31:00] like one thing, you know, something that's really true about life is that we, our friendship, our friends are always going to be in different seasons.

Like we always are going to, we're going to be kind of slingshotting, like someone like, you know, goes ahead and then the other person like gets yanked forward and maybe passes them. And like, you're always, you're always just kind of doing this back and forth, you know, moving forward, but at different paces.

And if we can't learn how to do that well, and like, really be on each other's team, whether, like, no matter what's happening, we're gonna lose each other. And that is such a tragedy. So I think that maybe backing up a little bit and, and seeing that it's, it's not just about you know, being at a bachelorette party and you're single and they're not and you're like, oh, I'm having a hard time.

Like, go to the bathroom, have a hard time, talk about it before and after with your therapist. You can even talk to your friend, like, you can be honest with your friend about it, but then do everything you can to be so fully present and [00:32:00] so 100 percent about it. them having the best time and you guys making memories together, knowing that this is not the only time that's going to happen.

Like, maybe you do get married six months from now. You guys get to do the whole thing again, but in reverse. It's your turn this time. But then you get pregnant. really fast and your friend has a really hard time getting pregnant. Like, it would be devastating to you if she couldn't be fully present at your baby shower or if she couldn't really love your little kiddo because she was having such a hard time.

Like, I remember the first time I got to hold my best friend Kelsey's son, Bodhi. He's like seven now. How in the, what in the world? Um, but I remember the first time I got to hold him and he was my first friend's baby. And I was honestly, like, pretty upset that she had had him because I was like, you're my best friend.

Like, this kid's gonna take you away from me. I was, like, totally freaked out by it. It ended up being okay. But I remember having this moment where I was like, I either need to get on board or [00:33:00] get out of the way because, like, this is happening in her life. And if I want to be in her life, I need to be there for it.

So I, like, Made it my mission to just love that little boy with everything that I have and it was, it's been such a special thing to get to be in her corner through all that and I just would have been so sad to miss out on like that first moment of getting to hold this precious little baby and then the last seven years of getting to know him, like, I just, it would have been such a loss for me if I couldn't, if I couldn't get on board.

So, yeah. That is a very long way of answering that question. 

Jacqueline: I love that so much. And even, too, like, going back to the Bible, Paul describes singleness as a gift. And it's so funny because, like, we normally wouldn't think of it as a gift, right? But it really is about perspective. And also, too, I mean, my dad has basically been kind of like a therapist for me over the past few years.

And whenever I'm down, I call him, I'll just be walking, like, my 30, 000 steps, talking to him for two hours or so. [00:34:00] But, um, the other week it was just, it was a hard day and I was talking to him and he was like, you know, one thing that's really helped me is just taking the focus off of myself when I'm struggling with something and putting it on others.

And to your point about what you said about being present, like that very act, being present for someone else. Yeah. Is taking the focus off of yourself in that moment, so that you're not just mulling over on all of your problems and everything that happened in the past. And I think through doing that, like, we really are able to change our perspectives and appreciate what we do have because we know that gratitude is, is really the key for happiness in life.

And yeah, and I mean, just recognizing that everyone's timeline is different and, you know, the only thing that we know in life that's constant is change. And. I feel too, Stephanie, like, that also lends to the realization that we all inherently want to control things, right? Like, we want to know what's gonna happen and when, and [00:35:00] life's just not like that.

And I think that if we did know everything, we would be terrified because that's not for us to know, right? That's for God to know. We're really 

Stephanie: bored, like terrified or really bored, I don't, I don't know which, some of, some of both, I think. Actually, yeah, that's 

Jacqueline: so true. Definitely a little bit of both, but um, we're just going through these stages stuff.

I love it. So next stage I'm thinking of is for women out there who had their breakup, they've healed, they find themselves in a good place, they're feeling confident, and they're ready to meet someone, but they're not necessarily fans of. The most common ways to meet people nowadays, which is through dating apps or other online platforms, which again, I mean, I've had so many friends where it's worked out for them and they've met their significant others on dating apps, but I don't know, for me personally, stuff like I like to meet people in person, that's just how I am.

I will make friends [00:36:00] literally just walking on the Swamp Rabbit Trail here in Greenville. I'll just start chatting to random people and tell them about myself and my blog. But um, I found that it's a lot more challenging nowadays than like, in our parents age to meet people in person, especially if you're not one to go out to bars on the weekends.

It's just, I don't know, I feel like it's a little bit more challenging. So what advice could you offer to the woman out there who wants to meet someone but she doesn't necessarily want to do it, I guess, artificially? 

Stephanie: Um, okay, I'm gonna answer this in two ways. One, I think, for me, I'm, I think, right on the line between introvert and extrovert.

I am outgoing. I'm, like, can talk to pretty much anybody. But it is, like, taxing for me. And so, like, it's not, it's not effortless by any means. So because of that, I have to, like, [00:37:00] Put some goals in place. I'm super goal oriented. I do pretty much anything. If I got like a sticker after after it, you know, my toddlers and I have that in common.

And so like, I really need just I need a goal. I need, you know, every week I'm going to, uh, reach out to, you know, I've said this before about like moving to a new city, making friends in a new city is really hard. Next time if I do it again, next time I do it again, when I get to a new city, I'm going to make a goal of like every week I'm going to get coffee with someone new.

Like I'm just going to force myself to do it. Because if not, I could sit in my house and my comfort zone for like years on end and you know, wake up five years from now just super lonely. Uh, the same is true for dating. You know, figure out what your method is going to be, where you're going to try to meet people, and then force yourself to do it and do whatever you need to do.

Like if you get a cookie afterwards or whatever, you know, like whatever your sort of [00:38:00] reward is. I know this is so hard. I know it's so hard. And so I actually, and I don't get to talk about this very much. This is fun. I created a workshop that I called Double Your Dating Prospects. And it's on my website.

It just exists there. And it's 10 challenges to help you get out of your comfort zone and out into the world to meet more people. And When we're meeting more people, just in general, our probability of meeting someone great that we could date goes way up. Most of the guys that I've met haven't been in a bar, haven't been, you know, online, and they've been friends of friends.

You know, it's like you go to someone's birthday dinner and someone else who also is friends with your friend, or they just happen to go with their friend who doesn't even know, like they don't even know the birthday person or whatever. That's how you meet. more people. And, and so I, in, in the course, I like made 10 steps that I made, like, as intimidation free as possible.

And you get to check [00:39:00] off like stickers. You get to be like, okay, I did it. Um, so anyway, so that's, so that's one thing, you know, forcing yourself to do it, having a plan and then like working the plan, no matter what you feel like on a Saturday afternoon or something like making yourself stick with the commitment you've made.

And if you need ideas, I like. Made a big list. But here's the other thing. You said artificial when it came to online dating, and I know, I know, I know. One, I know that actually being on the apps is like soul crushing. It's like just some of the interactions you have, some of the people you meet, like it's the, it's just really depressing and discouraging.

But we have a gift that our parents generation didn't have. With our parents generation, they [00:40:00] had who, the people they had available to them were like the people in, you know, within a, you know, five mile radius, say. The people that they happened to run into at a restaurant. They just happened to be there at the same time.

Their options were more limited. And for a lot of people, it worked out great. For some people, it didn't work out so great. Maybe if they could have like, this is for, I guess, for lack of a better metaphor again, uh, if they could have shopped around a little bit more, maybe they could have found a better fit.

We have sort of the opposite problem where we have an overload of people and that's, that's its own problem in and of itself. But I think it's a real gift. that we get to have access to so many people and that we have a medium to connect us to so many people. We don't have to sit at a bar and hope that a person walks in and happens to be our person.

We get to be a little more intentional and a [00:41:00] little more proactive than that. I know that, so, so I know that the online dating, you know, app game is really discouraging, but I think it's really worth doing. because there is no better way to increase the amount of single people that you're coming in contact with by so much, so fast.

And while the initial meet cute might not be there of like, Oh, you happen to join him the same day I did whatever the way you actually find out that a person exists. That's not the cute part. Anyway, like the way that I found out my husband exists is I walked into work like, Ta da, like it was not cute.

That first, that first, like, Oh, you exist. Isn't cute for anybody. It's the We went on our first date. It's the, um, you know, the mix up about the restaurant, like, you know, and it was about, I was so nervous and I almost didn't go and then I did and I saw you and that was really [00:42:00] cool and it's all, the only thing that I about the whole relationship that's different is finding out the person exists.

Everything else is the same. And so I think it's really, you know, I have so many friends who have met their person on, on apps. My friend Carly is a great example. And Their story like started on an app, but even how they were talking and how they got connected and stuff that like, that was cute. And their first date was cute.

And like, Jesse stood her up, but not like not on purpose. And like, it just turned into this whole thing. Well, they have two kids now and just this beautiful love story. And I just, I think that we are robbing ourselves of a really, really great tool. When. when we write off online dating. It may not feel cute at the beginning, but it can end up really cute at the end.

And I think it's just one of the best ways to, to really, like, if you want to be in a relationship, I think it's like, It's just a really, really great way of [00:43:00] moving that process forward. That is my soapbox. 

Jacqueline: No. I love that. That is encouraging stuff. That's definitely a different way to look at it. But to that point too, like, it's the paradox of choice though, right?

Because there are so many more options. And I feel like, so, for example, you and I are similar, I think, in the sense of being perfectionist when it comes to work, and obviously that quality can kind of like spill over to each other. Parts of life. So how do you take away that perfectionist mentality when looking for someone, right?

Especially if you're faced with all of these choices and all of these options of people like the constant thought of oh But is there someone better for me? Like is there a better fit? Is there a better match? And You know try to stop I guess hopping from the next person to the next person trying to find Who you think the perfect fit.

Not that that's happened for me at this point in time, but like, theoretically, how would you deal with [00:44:00] that? I 

Stephanie: have a hard time, like, uh, one of the things that I'm doing right now in my house, I'm looking around, is like, getting rid of a lot of my stuff. I'm like, really downsizing a lot of my stuff. And this is hard because I, like, the things I have I like or I paid money for or I like I'm invested in in some way.

And so I have a hard time going from like a hundred things to just one. So like, say I have a hundred shirts. That's a lot. I don't have a hundred shirts. But like, say I have a hundred shirts and I'm like, I just want to like, I can't pair this down to just one favorite. Well, like, I can't really do that, but I can go from 100 to 80 and then 80 to 70.

Like I can, I can do little phases like that. And I would think about online dating the same way. You're not looking for a husband out of a hundred. You're looking for like 20 guys or 50 guys even. And I know that's a lot of messaging, but like, just for, for easy math sake. [00:45:00] You're looking for 50 guys that you would maybe want to see if they can spell.

Like, you know, like you're just, you're just going to text a little. And then out of those 50 guys, you're looking for the top 30 funniest. And then you're looking for the top 20 that can have a conversation. And then maybe the top 10 that you would like to meet in person. The goal of online dating. Dating like I think online dating is a misnomer.

We're not trying to date online. It's an online introduction service. That's it So so our goal is not to spend a whole lot of time getting to know someone online Our goal is to go on a date And you can go on a first date with pretty much anybody. It's a You know, depending on whether you go Dutch or not, like, it's potentially a free meal.

That's great. Um, my friend Carly truly, like, explored the Nashville restaurant scene by dating. Uh, I had, I was like newly married and [00:46:00] so I went to Chipotle a lot. It was like, she really had the better, the better option at that point. Like that was a really cool thing she got to do. Like, you get to meet a lot of people, you get to practice, you get to explore new parts of the city, you get to, you know, create funny stories.

As long as you're, like, safe and in public, you know, as long as you're keeping yourself safe, there's really nothing to lose. It really is just great practice. I think it's like, you don't know if The, the truth is that you're not going to know if a person is a good fit for you until like three dates in, and a person who would be a good fit for you may not have a profile picture that you're like super into.

Um, so I think, you know, like maybe it's like an onion. It's like you have to just peel all these layers off. And so you start kind of peeling a lot of them. And then once you get a couple of layers in, you go, okay, this one's not a fit for me. This one I'm still, I'm still peeling, but know that like you have to get a ways in before you're going to know if someone's right for you.

So [00:47:00] that's, that's the way I think about it is try like narrowing down from a hundred to maybe 50 to maybe 20, that kind of thing, or peeling back layers, not let me find a husband in these hundred guys, because there's just absolutely no way for you to know that. From From the outside. 

Jacqueline: Yeah, that is very true.

Alright, you're giving me a different perspective on this now, so who knows, Steph we'll see. We'll. I have 

Stephanie: been known to talk people, it has happened at least, I, I guess I don't know how many times. It's happened a couple times like in person though, where I've talked someone into online dating and they have met their person because they did.

So I take credit for their, uh, love story. Just 

Jacqueline: kidding. Just kidding, but not really. You know, it's so funny, Steph, I have this thing where I can kind of call whether or not someone's going to get married. So for example, my old roommate in Boston, she met her now fiance on Hinge and she also had like a breakup [00:48:00] after a pretty long relationship, but met this guy on Hinge within the first two weeks, you know, she was telling me about him and we were Snapchatting him and I just had this feeling, Steph, and I told her, I was like, You know, you're going to marry this guy one day.

I'm going to give the toast at your wedding. And lo and behold, about three months or so ago, I get a picture from her of her ring in front of our old apartment in Beacon Hill. And she's like, Jack, I just got engaged. You were one of the first people I told. And I was just like, who called it? Um, and that's happened probably like two or three times, which is just really funny.

But I'm also the type of person where I, I love connecting people, whether that's friends or, or something more. So whenever I meet potential people, in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking like, Hmm, this person might be a good match for this person, like kind of basically playing matchmaker. And it's just funny too, because I know like, My dad, for example, met my mom at a furniture store because my uncle was an intern while my dad [00:49:00] worked there, and my dad was also literally coming out of, I think, a really long relationship, and he remembers just my mom walking into that furniture store one day and was like, Well, this is it.

And I think it was my uncle, actually, who ended up setting them up together. But to that point, too, my dad's like, you know, you just don't know where you can meet your person. He was like, would I ever have thought that I would have met my future spouse at a furniture store in the middle of New Jersey, not knowing what I was doing with my life?

Probably not. And that really did give me encouragement, too, because my dad It also just affirms that, like, we are not in control, and just because we're not getting something that we think we should have at this point in time, it doesn't mean that God is not working. And one of my favorite quotes, I have, like, all of these reminders on my phone.

Do you have that? I have, like, a folder on my phone with all of these, these quotes that I go through whenever I'm feeling down. And one of them is like, God is working while [00:50:00] you're waiting, which I absolutely love. And times, you know, when we think he's silent, he's actually doing things, right? He's orchestrating things that we can't see.

And another one I love is sometimes rejection is God's protection. And again, like, Looking at previous relationships, like, it would not have been good for me had I stayed in those. And you can't see it in the moment. You can only really see it looking back. But yeah, I mean, just filling my mind with that type of encouragement and those words and also to keeping a prayer journal.

And I've been I've been diligent with it stuff like every single month at the beginning of the month, I write down my prayer requests. And I mean, I'm still waiting on a few. But even over the past few years, looking back, It's really cool to see how God worked and how God answered in ways that I never could have imagined.

And whenever I'm doubting God or questioning if He's listening to me, I just look back at [00:51:00] my history and His history and what He's done for me. And it just serves as a beautiful reminder that, you know, He's, He is still there and He is still working. 

Stephanie: Love that. Have you seen, do you have, uh, my prayer journal, Every Single Moment?

No, 

Jacqueline: I need to get it. I need to get your workshop, too. There's like all these things that I have to get now. 

Stephanie: Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm like, how, this is, it's a whole thing, but I, I wrote it, it's called Every Single Moment. It's a hundred powerful prayers to savor the present and prepare for the future. And it's, it's totally, I wrote it because, uh, Again, the advice that people are given is to pray for your future spouse.

Okay, but I think that really there's so much more that we need to be praying about in this season and it's, it's so much more than like, Dear Lord, I hope he's having a good day. You know, like we can really, I feel like we can really get a little bit stuck in praying for our future person. And like, we can.[00:52:00] 

be in that next season, not where we are. And so that's what I wrote the prayer journal for. So it's like so much of what we've talked about in prayer journal form. But yeah, I've been doing a lot of things behind the scenes in life that I haven't been able to talk about. The first one was I joined a podcast network that has been so cool.

And we have new music and new art and all these things. Like I've been doing my podcast for seven years now. And It was the first time I've ever changed the music. It's the first time, like, I really feel like we got to kind of be Girls Night 2. 0 and that's been really cool. Um, so that was kind of the first secret that I had to hold on to and work on, but not talk about.

And then the next one was that I have a book coming out. April 30th, and it's all about, uh, decisions and transitions. And, uh, it's called create a life you love, quieting outside voices so you can finally hear your own. And I'm so excited about it. It's, it is my favorite thing I've ever made ever. Um, I'm, I just am so excited to get to finally share it with people.

So I've been working on that for 18 [00:53:00] months without getting to talk about it, which was really hard. And then, so, I, I've been, as I've been talking about these things, I've been saying I have three secrets that like I've been working on that I can't talk about yet. So secret number three is that in July, my family and I are moving to Spain.

Jacqueline: Wait, seriously? Oh my gosh, that is incredible. I am so excited for you, but I'm also sad because now you're going to be farther from me. But wow, that's incredible. And you studied abroad there, right? Is that why you're also downsizing everything right now? 

Stephanie: Uh huh. Yep. We are currently living in a, we rented out our house a handful of months ago in Nashville.

Um, we are in a rental house right now and we're trying in the next couple It's four months trying to get rid of, like, basically all of our stuff. And so on July 5th, on mine and Carl's 10 year wedding anniversary, we are taking a one way ticket [00:54:00] to Spain with our girls and my best friend Kelsey and her family, which is so crazy.

Jacqueline: Wait, I love Kelsey. I heard her in some of your episodes and I was like, this woman is also amazing. She went abroad with you though, right? 

Stephanie: Yes. Yeah. So we're going back together with our families. She's, and her son is, is, uh, Bodhi, the first like kiddo that I ever loved. Um, so it's gonna be their two boys and my two girls and, uh, Kelsey and her husband and me and mine, and we're moving to Spain.

We're going to start with a year and kind of see what happens. And, but yeah, so that is our, that is secret number Three. That's it. 

Jacqueline: That is incredible. I am beyond excited for you. I have yet to go to Spain. I studied abroad in Florence, Italy in college, and I never made it to Spain because it was during all of the ISIS attacks, so there were all these travel warnings, so I was kind of limited in like where I could go, but Spain is on my list.

I've always wanted to go there, so if I'm ever there, I'm going to be like, Steph! Popping in for a visit! 

Stephanie: Like, absolutely should. I'll be [00:55:00] there. And it's, it's going to be so fun because all of, I mean, there are, there are hard things about going to, you know, we just spent the weekend with my parents. My parents aren't like thrilled about it.

They are. They're supportive, but they're sad. Yeah. But I mean, my work is going to be exactly the same, just on a different time zone. And it's, yeah, we're just picking up our life and moving it there for a while. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for 

Jacqueline: you. That's the beauty of doing what you do, like you are able to just get up and move anywhere, and I, I admire that.

I love that. It's, it's really incredible. I'm, I'm so excited for you, Steph. Oh my gosh. I 

Stephanie: mean, that's exactly why, you know, when I was, You know, creating this, my, my podcasts, my books, my everything, you know, I just, I've always wanted to be able to, to take it someplace else when the, when the time was right.

And I've had a lot of stops and starts along the way. I talk about [00:56:00] that in the book about like, I really, you know, at this point, however many years ago, I was like, it is time. We need to move abroad. Like, it is like, let's go. I told you anytime I'm sad, I'm like, let's go. Let's go. And so there were several times where I was like, Carl, we should move.

And he's like, I don't think it's time. I don't think it's time. I don't think it's time. And then now we're like, It's actually time, which is really cool. 

Jacqueline: And on your 10th anniversary too, that is so special. That's just, that's just affirmation of, of God's perfect timing right there. Well, I'm beyond excited for you, Steph.

I cannot wait to see pictures. I know that you're not super active on social media, which is actually something I really admire about you and something I'm trying to Be more intentional about, but you better send me pictures if you're not posting them. So 

Stephanie: it's funny that you say that. I mean, I've been thinking about that a lot lately being like, how do I, what does it look like to be me, to be a person on social media?

Like, I don't, I never know. I, like, [00:57:00] I'm always wrestling with that. And in the work that you and I both do, like, it's required, you know, it's like how people find our podcasts. It's how people find our books, you know? And so in some ways I feel like I haven't done social media very well. Like I just, Like, I don't, I don't know how well I've translated myself onto social media in, in a way that would have been like beneficial for my business and for the people who follow me.

Like, I don't know how, how well I'm showing up for people. I do know that not being on it. too much is way better for my mental health. So there's sort of that, that like push and pull. I am thinking, you can tell me what you think about this. I'm thinking about restarting, like re like diving into my blog.

I have not been a big blogger since that's how it all started. And I haven't really been on my blog forever. Like I miss 

Jacqueline: it. Honestly, I was thinking that too, because I feel like now. Everyone's creating all of this video [00:58:00] content with Reels and TikTok and people want fast information but there's really something to be said about just going back to the basics and writing an article on a blog.

Like that's how I started too and I was, I was just thinking that too the other week. I was like, I haven't really created any net new content on my blog, which is where it all started. So I will gladly hop on that train with you to like bring it back. 

Stephanie: I love that. And like, I'm like, I am putting my best thoughts, I'm using my, like, best thoughts to try to make the Instagram algorithm happy.

And like, I'm not even doing a very good job at it. I mostly 

Jacqueline: just pay attention to like your site and your podcast because that's how I first discovered you. But hold on, let me pull up your Instagram now. Steph, what are you talking about? I think your account is beautiful. Oh my gosh, I love it. 

Stephanie: Well, I love knowing that because I think in my head, I'm like, well, the place where people hang out the most is Instagram.

And so if I like leave that, I'm not talking to [00:59:00] people. But I love that. Like I would way rather people spend time on my website and like I put so much love 

Jacqueline: into it. This is beautiful. No, I love it. See now we're connected on Instagram, but I think, too, one of my favorite ways to hear about new channels or content or people is honestly through word of mouth.

Like, if a friend recommends a podcast or some resource, I am on it, like, right away. And I've probably shared your podcast with. I don't know, well over 100 people since I first heard about it because it's helped me so much, right? And whenever you find something that helps you, you want to share it with your friends and your family.

And I feel like that's how you've honestly reached so many women because your content resonates with them. And again, when God touches something, it grows like he's done that for you. So like, That really does beat any Instagram algorithm, you know, if God wants something to grow, it'll grow. So just keep doing what you're doing.[01:00:00] 

Stephanie: Love that. I love that. That is so encouraging and like so timely. It's, that's really, thank you. Oh, 

Jacqueline: good. I'm so glad. See, perfect timing and it's all true. It, it really is. But, um, We are going to bring it back to the basics with the blogging, so stay tuned for that. But Stephanie, I could chat with you for hours, truly, and I do hope to have you on again at some point soon, but I know your daughters need you, and I know we're coming up on time, so where can listeners find you?

So 

Stephanie: my website where I put all of my, my love and soon more blog posts, I hope, uh, is stephaniemaywilson. com and it's M A Y not M A E, stephaniemaywilson. com and, um, that's, yeah, everything is linked from there. Um, and I don't know, this is like the song I'm going to be singing for the next two months, but it is such a big deal when people pre order a [01:01:00] book for an author.

It's it's like the most like anticlimactic thing to buy a book and not get it for two months. So it's like kind of a bummer to pre order. However, books are like made like. made or broken by the number of people who pre order them. And so if you guys listening would go check out my new book, it's called Create a Life You Love and pre order it on Amazon or wherever books are sold.

It would like truly make all of my dreams come true. It would, I'm not kidding. Like it would mean so much to me. And I cannot think of There's literally nothing in the world that I would rather give women than this book. Like this, the message of this book, it's, it's for all the things that we just talked about, all those transitions, all those in between moments, all those waiting seasons, all those watching your friends get to this other, other stage and having to like be happy for them, but also sad for yourself.

It's for all of those things, trying to figure out who [01:02:00] you want to be, what you want to do with your life. So anyway. It's called Create a Life You Love, and you guys, seriously, if you'd go pre order it, I would be your best friend, endlessly grateful, and I also will send you the first chapter for free right away so you can start reading, because that's available.

Jacqueline: Well, I will be pre ordering today, so you already have plus one, but I will definitely be sharing that with listeners, and I'll see you Also, one thing, too, I just wanted to say, Steph, is that you are so authentically you and your intentions of wanting to help women really do shine through, and I say that because, just again, like, going back to sharing content, women see that.

In all of your work, right? Your desire to help them. That's why you've reached so many people because of those pure intentions and your desire to make heartbreak easier and make life easier and just serve as a, serve as a light. To, to anyone who's struggling and that shows with your work. So [01:03:00] I don't doubt that this book is going to help so many people beyond your podcast and fall into new hands.

So I'm, I'm so proud of you for writing it and I can't wait to read it and I can't wait to share it. But truly kudos to you. 

Stephanie: Thank you for, for being in my community and letting me be part of yours, and, um, I just, I'm so, it, I'm so glad we got to connect today. This has been so good for my heart. A hundred 

Jacqueline: percent, and mine too.

My very last question for you, and this is my favorite one to ask, and that is, what does being well and strong mean to you? 

Stephanie: This is just the first thing that came to mind, uh, having lots of time with my friends. I just. Like, and I don't get as much time in person right now as I have in other seasons of life, which is why I'm so glad I invested in my friendships in other seasons of life, so that they would like hold me over when I've been, you know, in toddler land.

But I text with my [01:04:00] friends like all day, every day, basically, like we're just like live tweeting our lives to each other and it is so fun and so good. And I just find when women get together, like, Things get better. So yeah, it's being well and strong. I am well and I'm strong when I've had a lot of time, at least just talking to my girlfriends.

They're just such a lifeline for me. 

Jacqueline: I couldn't agree more. I actually had a movie night on Saturday night. I invited 15 friends over. I was like, we're going to watch Leap Year. There's going to be snacks and food, so come. And it was the most refreshing and reviving. three hours I've had in the past three months just to be able to connect with my friends.

So I love that and I couldn't agree more. Well, Steph, this was so much fun. I really do hope to have you on again soon. There's so much to talk about, but I know that this episode is going to bless so many listeners and help a lot of people out there who may be [01:05:00] struggling. So thank you for being you and for all of the work that you do.

And I hope to see you soon. Thanks, Fran. Thanks for having me.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you would like to support the show, please subscribe, leave a rating and review, and share it with others. Be sure to visit wellandstrong. com to access notes from the show and to stay current with new content. I'm so grateful you joined me. Be well and be strong.


Steps to heal from heartbreak
The importance of showing yourself grace
Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better
What Jac did following her break-up to help heal
Why doing hard things often builds confidence in yourself
The importance of friendships outside a romantic relationship
How to deal with seasons of waiting
Embracing singleness
Prioritizing productivity in the waiting season
Steps to stop comparison
Recognizing that the grass isn't always greener
Embracing the different seasons of life
Taking the focus off of yourself to serve others
How do you actually meet someone?
How to online date with intentionality
God is working in the waiting