And What Else?

Pause The Push - stop doing and understand how to be still

• Wendy O'Beirne (The Completion Coach)

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What if the relentless pursuit of busyness is actually keeping you from discovering your true self? Join me as we explore the hidden motivations behind our hyperindependent lifestyles and how early experiences can lead us to value productivity over authenticity. This episode is a deep dive into the transformative journey of slowing down, reconnecting with our bodies and intuition, and how this uncomfortable process can lead to profound clarity and inner wisdom. We'll examine the societal glorification of busyness as a badge of honor and reveal how it can act as a barrier to understanding our emotions and desires.

In a world obsessed with speed and achievement, we challenge the norms by embracing the art of true pause and stillness. Discover how balancing ambition with rest allows us to tap into deeper self-trust and motivation, achieving more with less stress. By embracing the feminine energy within us all, we shift from an endless cycle of productivity to a path that fosters personal growth, creativity, and meaningful connections. This episode is not just a discussion; it's an invitation to transform your life and leadership approach by reimagining the role of busyness in your existence. Reach out for further conversation and support as we journey together towards a more enriching and authentic life.

If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave me a review and subscribe! And if you want to learn more from me, come and say hello on Instagram @thecompletioncoach or via email at wendy@thecompletioncoach.co.uk or find out more about working with me on my website, thecompletioncoach.co.uk.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to, and what Else, the podcast with me, wendy O'Byrne, also known as the Completion Coach, and this one's all about pausing, about slowing down how we take rest and how we've just been so conditioned to have busyness as almost a badge of honor. The fact that we're juggling, the fact that we're squeezing it all in, the fact that we have so many dots on our calendar that we can't see when the next free time is. And I want to talk about this, as usual, through the lens of hyperindependence traits, self-sufficiency, busyness being used as a way to avoid dealing with feelings, busyness being a way to avoid dealing with ourselves. Busyness as a way, in fact, to almost avoid dealing with everything and just handling what you do best, which is working, getting shit done, creating productivity. Go, go, go, do, do, do. Because what it avoids is bbb, which is getting into your body, connecting back to your intuition, understanding what needs to be dealt with and, fundamentally, feeling what needs to be felt.

Speaker 1:

And there's good reason that there's a lack of safety within you in respect to resting and stillness, and for most people that I see this in, it's because, at a young age, they have disconnected from the body in such a way they have disconnected from their really strong sense of intuition A really strong sense of intuition, a really strong sense of intuition and at some point, because they have had to abandon themselves, they have created these behaviors of people-pleasing. They have abandoned asking for help and started their journey of self-sufficiency and they have become so used to distracting themselves from their own feelings and doing things in order to help other people to receive praise and to feel worthy in some way. Those people had to disconnect from their really strong sense of intuition to do all of those things. And it felt safer to belong, it felt safer to get by, it felt safer to be recognized and acknowledged in groups in some way. It felt safer in their relationships in some way to become dispersion of themselves, and that has morphed and moved with you in life into adulthood.

Speaker 1:

In reality, a lot of the work that I do with people is getting them out of their brains and their minds and their overthinking and getting them to connect back to the body, which might sound really simple, but it's not. It's work, it's true work to create safety back in the body, to get people back in connection to themselves, to allow themselves to experience their emotions and recognize that it's quite overwhelming at times and we need to really work on practicing how that comes up and through. We have to commit to a practice which enables them to slow down, to feel it, to get out of their heads and into their body and to connect back to the intuition that they unplugged from such a long time ago and to enable themselves to know that when they do that, they're going to connect to an inner wisdom, they're going to connect back to a very clear voice internally. They're going to connect back to some real clarity about what they do want and how they're going to want to go about it. And that can scare the shit out of you when you have done everything to avoid that for a really long time. In a sense, that feels like survival. We're effectively getting you back into the body, back into the root chakra, back into the safety of being where you are.

Speaker 1:

Now. The people that I'm speaking to you know that you're never here, that you're always peter, jumping a little bit, the next, the what's coming, the how do I get there? The push, and so you know that you're rarely even at the table during a meal. You're already jumping into what the journey home will be like. You're very rarely in the meeting because you are so fast. You are so fast that you frustrate other people and can feel like you're constantly misunderstood, misheard, and other people can be just knocked over by the speed at which you come at them.

Speaker 1:

So it's really important to know that slow is a practice. You're not going to just skid, put the brakes on and go into this stillness. We have to slow you down. We have to slow you down and get you to recognize what fast, what being slightly ahead all of the time, what jumping out of your body, being in your mind and being further ahead has protected and saved you from in the past. We have to let you figure out how to come back into the body at a pace that's going to make sense to you. We're going to have to explore what needs exploring and experience what you need to experience in order to create a practice where stillness is where you get your energy. Stillness is where you get your power. Stillness is where you find your voice. Stillness is where you get your power. Stillness is where you find your voice. Stillness is where you find your direction and the pace can slow down, not so that you can fall behind, not so that you can be less in any way, not so that you become somebody that doesn't have ambition or drive. It's none of those things. It's about it being done in a way that feels like thriving, that feels like coming from a source within you, a deep well within you of what you want, and it's desire-led rather than fear-led.

Speaker 1:

All of my work, all of my workshops, everything that I've ever done, using different terminologies, have been about the same thing. It comes from a place of deep self-trust, it comes from a deep knowing of what is desire and what is frustration, and it comes from this connection to the self, to the core understanding of who you are, that you have hidden in plain sight, even from yourself, by keeping things at such a fast pace that nobody can see it and you certainly can't feel it. It's fun. I know it sounds like a lot, especially when you're used to pushing, striving, forcing, pursuing and to say it getting. I know that you are successful, I know that you can get where you're going, I know all of those things, but in reality, we want you to really understand and come from a place within you that's slightly different, far more powerful, and can achieve more with less, can achieve more with rest, can achieve more with a balance of life and connection and intimacy that is craved outside, of being recognized for what you can do, what you can provide and what you give. Because the thing that we don't always recognize about these people pleasing fixer tendencies and traits is that you're also very giving. There's a place of generosity, there's a place of true empathy and there's a place of really wanting to make things better, of driving and pushing to achieve things to the best standard, and you do understand things very quickly, which is why you leap on quite frequently understanding. We're not going to diminish the good parts of these traits that work in your favor. We're going to balance them with what's needed for them to truly thrive, for them to come from a place of deep, deep desire within you, creating more of what you do want in your life.

Speaker 1:

So when I did the post on Instagram about busy is a blindfold, not a badge. We've seen it as a badge of honor. We're told in this world that we live in that the more that we do, the more we multitask, the more we can do everything, have everything to be everything. The more of a badge it is. The more of multitask, the more we can do everything, have everything, be everything. The more of a badge it is, the more of an honor it is, the better a person you are. And what I'm questioning and asking everybody to question is is that true? Is that true? Or are you so tired, so deep in resentment, that you didn't know you had?

Speaker 1:

So tired of almost everything, including the things that you enjoy, and yet so driven so in the mode of feeling like you should be pushing and guilty when you're not, when, in reality, if we can get more people to understand that, those traits of hyperindependence and self-sufficiency, there's so many great characteristics that you have, but you need to balance them with the deeply connected you and I guarantee you the power and the courage and the difference that will bring to your life. It will take off the blindfold, it will take off the blinkers and it will show you so much more of who you are and so much more of what there is and what you want to do in so many different parts of your life. It opens things up. It opens things up and I think that busy badge that we were all misled into thinking was a badge of honor, you will actually see what it was closing down and making smaller in your life what it was detract, what it was diverting you away from. And in reality, I think that's your true power. I think it is the true feminine energy power in everyone, because feminine energy exists in all of us.

Speaker 1:

I believe that true feminine energy power, when we get to it, it stems such courage, collaboration, creativity, it cultivates people, it makes better leaders, it makes better cultures, it makes better companies, it makes you better company and the more of us that are tapping into this true feminine energy, which has been suppressed by this do, do, do, do, do energy, it's going to get you out of that all or nothing mode. It's going to get you out of all of the things that have you pushing for something that you can never reach and instead it's going to get you really assessing how you can nurture, nurture and grow and create in your life in so many different ways that you hadn't even considered, hadn't even considered. Now I'm going to link this in because I have just created pause the push, which is a collection of journeys and practices, self-paced, that you can use time and time again to really help you in so many different ways. There's EFT tapping, there's an energy clearance, there's a meditation, there's a hypnosis and there's journal prompts. It's a really brilliant collection of things that work so well together, available now on the early bird until the 22nd of December for £49. You will find a link for that on my Instagram page. It's going out on all of my emails.

Speaker 1:

But I would love you to consider Pause the Push if this has really prickled your ears, because the entirety of this collection is also just about opening yourself up to that pause, opening yourself up to yourself, opening yourself up to just experiencing your own stillness. And there is no drive in that collection of what you then do with it, what you create with it, what you go with it. It's truly about the pause, which is the biggest practice that we need to then become the fantastic creators that we want to be and that creating manifestation. Second half will come. It will come, but the pause on its own is really important because it is willing you to pause without making it look like rest, but actually being creation work.

Speaker 1:

I don't want you to kid yourself I know you're already a master manipulator of your own energy and kidding yourself that you're resting when you're not. You're working. This is about true pause, true, true pause, just to connect, just to experience and just to get into the practice before you do any creation, pushing or taking action. As always, thank you for listening. You know how to contact me it's wendy at thecompletioncoachcouk, or drop me a DM on Instagram and I will always come back to you. Thank you so much.