And What Else?
Welcome to 'And What Else?', your source for thoughtful and meaningful conversations about personal and professional growth. Host Wendy O'Beirne is an internationally recognised coach and consultant with a passion for exploring the layers of topics surrounding self-development. Together, we'll dig beneath the surface of subjects, stories, and possible solutions to uncover new perspectives we may not have seen before. With curiosity and open minds, let's embark on an adventure of self-discovery and uncover the possibilities of 'and what else'. Stay Curious!
And What Else?
Rediscovering Insights: Embracing Old Lessons for New Growth
This episode centres around the transformative power of revisiting past learnings and experiences instead of always searching for something new. Wendy encourages listeners to engage with previous content through their current selves, highlighting how our evolving perspectives can reveal new insights and value.
• The power of revisiting old content for new insights
• Personal growth impacts appreciation of past lessons
• Importance of repetition for true understanding and application
• Assessing our personal collections for meaningful insights
• Discipline as a factor in cultivating new habits and routines
• Finding value in small, daily acts of self-care and mindfulness
• Invitation for listener feedback and topic suggestions
If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave me a review and subscribe! And if you want to learn more from me, come and say hello on Instagram @thecompletioncoach or via email at wendy@thecompletioncoach.co.uk or find out more about working with me on my website, thecompletioncoach.co.uk.
Welcome to, and what Else, the podcast with me, wendy O'Byrne, also known as the Completion Coach, and today I'm going to touch on the topic of all or nothing kind of behavior, but through a slightly different lens today, of revisiting and returning to things, rather than just this constant, next, next, next mentality that we get into. And I bring you into this because a couple of things happened this week which just gave me a really big kick in a reminder myself. And the first one was I was re-listening in the background to an old course that I recorded four years ago and I was trying to work out something new. New, but I was listening to this in the background and in doing so, this version of me now, four years later, got so much from the content I was saying four years ago, because this version of me now has such an increased capacity in her body, in her nervous system, in the way that think, in the way that I am taking information at the minute, the amount of notes that I took, listening to albeit myself in this instance, but an old workshop from four years ago and just really understanding it through the lens of who I am now and what I took from it now. I was like this is not to toot my own horn too loudly here, but this is brilliant. Like this is exactly what I need. This is what I needed reminding of. This is something that is hitting me in a really different place right now and it's something that, you know, I really needed, not just a reminder of of, but I really needed to see it through the lens of who I am now, because this is really important for me now. So when I say, a workshop that you buy, a course that you buy where you have the access, and it continues with you revisiting and going back is so golden, so golden because different versions of you will take different things, because our capacity to even hear what's being said changes, and I think that's really, really important, and so we tend to be in a way where we think we're once and done I've done that, that's done, I've done that. You know, I've done that. I should be on the next level, I should be on the next thing. I've done that once, I've completed it, and I'm really, really passionate about the fact that we revisit, that we reuse that, this version of us that changes, that has a different capacity to hear, a different capacity to process, a different situation for it to be applied to in new ways. It's really worth looking at what you have and really thinking about what that needs to bring more value into your life now as who you are now.
Speaker 1:Another interesting one for me was I just, you know, I was clearing out something on my phone which put someone's name in front of me that I had a reading from before I had started this podcast, because in the reading I'm talking about starting a podcast. So a few years old at this stage, yeah, nearly three years old. I sat down to meditate and I got a really clear little voice drop in. That was just like you should re-listen to that reading. And don't get me wrong, I had seen the name on my phone that morning and then I went to meditate. So of course it was in my subconscious. This wasn't some divine messaging, but it was a nudge. You should go and listen to that reading again. And then I got out of the meditation and I went and listened to it. I took the action of the nudge something we will come back to in a moment taking the action. But I've re-listened to that reading and, my goodness a you can hear both of us speaking in it. So it's a two-way conversation and there are certain parts you can hear both of us speaking in it. So it's a two-way conversation and there are certain parts you can hear.
Speaker 1:At that point in time I was moving straight past. I wasn't questioning, I wasn't getting more involved. I was trying to detour her into different areas, I was trying to push her into different subjects. It was a really interesting listen back. But fundamentally and more importantly, who I am now, the capacity I have now, the way that I am now, was really open to receiving the words that I wasn't able to receive then. And, my goodness, there's a couple of things I've got jotted down here that I'm about to go and take some action on and finally put into place. I'm ready to think about in my own on and finally put into place. I'm ready think about in my own processing, in my own way of moving forwards that matter more now than they did then, because I wasn't in a position to take them on board then.
Speaker 1:And so we can often go looking for the next, the next to the next, and we rarely revisit what we have just to see what it means to us now, how it lands now, and not everything will, not everything will. I've gone back over some books that I thought were brilliant and this time around I'm not sure, and vice versa. There's books that I had 10 years ago that I thought I don't get the hype around this and now I'm listening to them through a different lens and really will take different information from them. So knowing that, where and how, our state, our capacity, our openness, our energy, our vibrancy, our even our time capacity, our mental load resources in so many different ways will impact greatly what we hear, how we hear it and what we do with it. Because I was delivering the first workshop rather than taking it, and although in that delivery it's stuff that I had, that delivery it's stuff that I had put into practice, it's stuff that I had been trained in, it's stuff that is relevant to who I was then even listening to it now gave me new depths in exactly the same words, but new depths came through for me.
Speaker 1:There have been occasions where I've gone back to workshops and gone. You know what. I just don't. I don't even think I agree or want to go any further on this. Nothing wrong with the workshop, it's just not where I'm at, it's not what I'm doing. It's not what I want to dig further into, but we do tend to do something. Once, and lots of people say this to me, they'll say I tried that, and when I ask them how many times, they'll just look at me as if to say what.
Speaker 1:But we do need repetition on the whole for anything to make change. Repetition of soothing ourselves, repetition of experiencing something within ourselves, repetition of dealing with it on a much more micro level rather than just big experiences, but really allowing the micro in which we might be referring to once again as the bare minimum, you know, the bare minimum of just like what have I got that I haven't used much? What have I got that made a big impact on me that I haven't revisited? What have I got that seemed to make no impact on me that I haven't revisited? Have I checked in on that again and just got you know a quick pulse check on it now as to what that is and if it still doesn't resonate, why am I keeping it?
Speaker 1:I want you to look at your bookshelves in the same way. Look at anything and everything to be like oh, am I ordering things on repeat? Have I got stuff arriving every other day trying to fill a gap in my feelings, in my logic, in my knowledge, in my sense of connection in this world? Or am I only connecting and investing into things that I think have value to me and that I am deeply connected to in some way, even if the connection is just curiosity? But where I know I'm gonna get involved, I'm gonna get with it and it's not just something I'm gonna add to a shelf to get to, in the hope that at some point I will consume all of this and be a better person. I'll consume all of this and be a better person. I'll consume all of this and I'll be somehow fixed when, in fact, you're not broken.
Speaker 1:I am well known for reading the same book every January, because I get something different from it every year depending on where I am in, how I'm feeding and how I'm coming into the energy of a new calendar year, and I think it's really easy to buy things and it's really easy to think we're going to use them or to think we're going to get round to it, and, yeah, it starts to go out of date, it starts to be something that's cluttering up space or it is just something sat there waiting in a folder for the moment that you're going to find time for it, and so the reason I'm so passionate about getting us out of this all or nothing. Next, move on, let's go head in, let's buy everything, let's go for it, and yet we don't use it. We don't step into what's the least I could use from this on a day-to-day basis. How often have I looked at this through different angles depending on where I'm at? Because in the micro, in the bare minimum of what could I be using this towards?
Speaker 1:Far more often I have seen people find something extraordinary in things over a period of time, when people commit to doing some stuff on repeat and watching it shift and change and grow and make an impact with them, rather than trying to do it for six hours straight and then never doing it again For going hardcore on day one and then just can't keep it up. Can't do it for six hours straight and then never doing it again for going hardcore on day one and then just can't keep it up, can't do it, disappointed. Move on. You know you have to be committed to yourself and therefore, when we're investing in anything or purchasing anything, I want you to really think about what value you're getting from that, and I'm going to bring in just one other element to this one, which is there's an awful lot of chat on the internet, especially about ease and things that are right being easy and how you know, some people have found their thing and they've never worked a day in their life because it's so easy and it's so good and it's so this.
Speaker 1:And I, for one, know that before I have reached a state of ease with anything, I have always had to apply force first, and that doesn't mean that I force things, but it does mean that I have had to apply some force first. And what I mean by that is it's not second nature for me to leap out of bed, want to come downstairs, move my body, go outside, get in nature, get home, meditate, journal, do anything. It's not my second nature to do that. What I do have to do sometimes is force myself out of the house to reap the benefits that getting out for a walk in the morning actually gives me, and that's just a personal experience. It doesn't mean that you need to go out for a walk.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to caveat myself too much this year on the podcast, but it is about finding what works for us and for me that getting up and one of the first things I'm doing. If I get up and make myself a drink or sit down, it will be far more difficult for me to create any momentum in the direction that I want my day to go. It will be something that I'm already annoyed with myself at, and it's setting myself up in an energy with no real intention for the day. I will be already working from a flatness, because that's how getting up, sitting down, getting up if the TV on is in the house, doesn't do well for me. Getting up to any sound doesn't do well for me, but getting up and getting out being an almost seamless event of me, getting up and leaving the house has always, always, always led to me having better days with more intention.
Speaker 1:Because I go on these walks and it does really help that I have a dog, fyi, but I go out on these walks and I find that my shoulders relax. I go out on these walks and my mind wanders a lot. My, my creativity on these walks is crazy. I don't want to talk to you on my walk, I don't want to take a phone call, I don't want to get involved in that, I just want to be bored on my walk with my mind wandering to all kinds of mad things. It's kind of like a morning processing for me. And then I get back in the house and I'm so different than the days that I don't do that or the days where I delay. That I'm so different and so for me it creates a really intentional mode of me then getting into an easy state to create more, to be in a better way to handle things, to regulate myself differently, to think differently, to be in a better way to handle things, to regulate myself differently, to think differently, to feel differently. That really works for me.
Speaker 1:I have to force myself when the weather's not right for me. I have to force myself when it's cold. I have to force myself when it's rainy. I have to force myself when it's still dark outside, because a big part of me is like stay in bed. I can tell you that me staying in bed doesn't set me up very well, doesn't work well for me. Yes, if I was genuinely tired and needed a lay in, that's one thing. But staying in bed because I can't be bothered doesn't help me to stay there personally, and it doesn't help me to come downstairs and make a drink and sit down, because the first thing that will automatically follow that for me will be opening my phone. And if I get up and come downstairs and open my phone, I guarantee you I will lose a minimum of 30 minutes. And if I do that then I'll suddenly be like I don't have time to go out for a walk. I don't have X, y or Z. My energy has been expelled on all of these external things and people and sounds. That is too much for my very, very open energy to take on board and to deal with and to expect myself to then go about the day that I want to. So it takes a lot.
Speaker 1:I had to force myself post-meditation to make time to go and listen to that reading and not be too busy, because my default is to find ways that I'm too busy to do things that feel self-indulgent. I'm listening to a reading from two years ago that I didn't know what it contained or if it'd be helpful, felt self-indulgent, so a big part of me wanted to go. You haven't got time for that, wendy, crack on, and I had to force myself. So I want you to think about the areas of your life. I know last year's word of the year was discipline. I know this year I'm talking about risk, but without that discipline I wouldn't have the capacity for risk and what that means in my life. Because before, risks that I took when I had no capacity in my body, in my feelings, feelings in my emotions, in my thinking, were very different things and actually they were far more dangerous things when I think back to them. But with that healthy discipline, with that positive discipline to hold myself accountable to do the things I say I will for myself, when I apply force when needed to reach the flow that I'm looking for, I am in a really different position to even think about playing with the word risk. Really different position.
Speaker 1:And it comes down to some really really small things that you may think are so insignificant, so insignificant that you won't bother. And another example of that from my personal locker has been even the fact that I went on holiday in September and realized that on holiday I moisturize every day after the shower. Second nature, have the time and it feels like a luxury. Having the time to moisturize my body felt like a luxury and I was like I'm going to keep this up when we get back I'm going to have time, no matter what, to moisturize, because it makes me feel so much better. It's now early January.
Speaker 1:I have moisturized every single day and when I tell you there is struggle in that, when I tell you there is force in that, where I have to really condition myself to say you have got time in this rushed world to slow down and apply moisturizer to your legs and body before you get dressed, you have got time to do that. It is not selfish to do that. There are not better things you could be doing with that time. Do that. There are not better things you could be doing with that time and allowed myself to do it. And quite recently I've been like whoa, my legs, the tone of my legs, the feel of my skin if it was plumper, feels just better. You know, there's something about the feel, the tone of the feel of my skin that feels great. And it gave me this really delicious boost to have noticed something from September to January which had come from this forced behavior.
Speaker 1:Because, even though it sounds silly and ridiculous and small, forcing myself to find time to moisturize my body every day after a shower is a struggle. Every day after a shower is a struggle. It's not something that comes second nature to me, which is why I'd also challenge anyone that says we build a habit in X amount of time because from September to January, I'm still forcing it. You know, it is really about just reconditioning ourselves and allowing that to come in, and not judging the timescale, not judging any of it, and just allowing it to be something. And so it can be the smallest of things. It can be the fact that you want to make some space or time for something that matters to you, that is insignificant and nothing key to the next person, but it will take you the repetition over a period of time before you will start to feel this means something to me now. Or for you to go oh, I've got the capacity to hear that differently now. It might even be an episode of a podcast to listen to and you've never revisited and it's like, oh, maybe go back and listen to it again now and see what it means now, rather than always searching out the next, the next, the next. Who else is there? What else is there? What next?
Speaker 1:In so many things and I think the biggest corporates are books rather than podcasts I don't know if there are people that are lining up pod to pod to pod because I don't do it.
Speaker 1:But I have been a victim of books and thinking that I need them all and thinking that I have in some way. You know the need to have as many books as a small library, when, in reality, the ones that I had read most of the time were speed read, to get to the end, to say I'd read it, rather than to deeply think about the implementation on myself. Even if I'd had big light bulb or aha moments, even if I was like, my god, this is one of the best books ever, it was still really rare, in reality, for me to have done anything with that information other than regurgitate it to somebody else. I'm going to leave that here today, but I would love any feedback, thoughts, questions, requests for future episodes, anything that you want me to cover that I don't Feel free to send me a message, either on Instagram, at thecompletioncoach, or wendy at thecompletioncoachcouk, on email. I'm always open to what these bring up for you and or anything you want me to cover in different ways. Thank you so much.