Go Ask Sawyer
Go Ask Sawyer
SOLO - Embracing Transformation: Letting Go, Shifting Narratives and Attracting Positivity
From shedding an old skin to stepping into a new, thrilling chapter of life, join me, your host Jamie, as I reflect on my profound personal transformations. Imagine what could happen if the narratives we tell ourselves shifted, if we stopped holding on so tightly? This potentially transformative episode, inspired by the wisdom of Bianca Sparacino, will challenge your perspectives on love, connection, and the power of letting go.
In the past two weeks, I've intentionally released parts of my old story, creating space for positivity and new beginnings. But, what happens when you decide to let go and trust yourself fully, without second-guessing? Daringly, we'll embrace what it means to be 'all in', surrendering to the unknown and stepping out of our comfort zones. So fasten your seatbelts, let's journey together through the discomfort towards extraordinary experiences, and discover how our inner light can attract what's truly meant for us.
Hello and welcome. Happy Sunday. This is Go Ask Sawyer with your host, jamie. It's time.
Speaker 1:It's been two weeks since my last podcast and I've had a lot of time to reflect on what I was going through. And I don't know about anyone else, but I definitely feel like there has been a shift. It's almost like I don't know I've walked into a new room or like I was. Well, today is all about stories and the old story that we continue to live with, and I felt like my first two episodes were very much about how I was talking about feeling stuck. I was talking about how I felt lost, how I've lost myself, and I feel like in these last two weeks, all of a sudden, I have, I don't know, shed a part of myself or come into a new room or discovered something new and it just feels really good, like really good. So that's what our episode today is going to be about and kind of what I've been feeling. I want to know from my listeners have you been feeling something? There was the eclipse yesterday, the fire eclipse.
Speaker 1:A lot of talk around new beginnings with this one, a lot of talk around reconnecting with friends, reconnecting with people that maybe we haven't talked to in a while. A lot of talk around relationships, just kind of how are we resetting or are we starting a new relationship or seeing something in a brighter light, and that's kind of where I feel like I am. So I want to start today with two quotes from Bianca Sparacino. A gentle reminder this was a book given to me by a very dear friend for my birthday. I do love books, and my first quote that I just love and I have to constantly remind myself is this it is quite simple nothing that is meant for you will ever get away. Love deeply and without the need to possess or own. Let beautiful connections pass through you without attachment. Slam your heart into the people and the places and the things that ignite something deep inside your soul and I promise I promise the right things will stay. You will never lose what is for you. Please don't ever forget that.
Speaker 1:I think I still live in a place where I'm scared to go all in. I'm scared to go all in. I don't know. I almost feel like sometimes I've always lived that way, even though the way I show up is very much all in. But I really am trying to get curious with myself If I was really all in in love. What would that look like If I was really all in with family or people that I care about? What would that look like? What am I still hiding from others or shielding from others that I am? I don't know if I want to use the word shamed or embarrassed, but I know that I constantly am second guessing. Did I say the right thing? Or I don't want to say the wrong thing? What if I upset someone? What if I say something rude? Or we all feel that way. When you're really all in, are you second guessing or are you just really being yourself? Or is also second guessing maybe just a part of being mindful of those around you? So I have been really trying to look into what does being all in look like for me, feel like for me? That's one thing I'm looking at.
Speaker 1:This is a second quote from the same book. At the end of the day, it is quite simple. There are so many uncertain and confusing things in life, but love should never be one of them. Love should never be one of them. Clear is kind. I've been saying this to my students a lot lately. Clear is kind when I'm re reminding, re reminding of routines and procedures or the way I need them to speak in my classroom or be in my classroom. I feel that the more clear we are, the less confusion there is, and I think for a minute when I was kind of losing myself. I was in a confusing place. I didn't necessarily know where I stood in relationships, I didn't know where I stood in my job, and the confusion can lead to doubt and can lead to uncertainty. But at the end of the day, I need to remind myself that if there is confusion around me, I need to be strong enough to ask the questions and then also that I do have the answers inside.
Speaker 1:I do know what I know and so often I know I've talked on here about the lack of trust I have with myself, and a new story I'm creating in my life is that, yes, I know what is best for me. Period, point blank. I will not explain. This is a new concept because I am an over-explaner. If I am going to tell you this is the example I always use if I tell you I am going to run another ultramarathon, let's just say I have already come up with every single question you're going to ask me or every single thing you're going to doubt about it with me. So I'm going to tell you I'm going to run the ultramarathon and, before you probably even have a chance, I will explain all the reasons. This is a good thing for me in my life and I am trying so hard to get used to not over-explaining. I don't want to explain to you why I want to do this. I know that I want to do it and that should be enough.
Speaker 1:Now there's always the asterisk right. There's always the people that, hey, I just want to know more about this. Like you've done this before, you've gotten injured before. What are you going to do differently this time? Not in a judgmental way, not in a I think you're crazy for doing this way, but those people that genuinely just are curious, and I think I get confused in my life between friends or people that are curious about what I'm doing and people that are judging me, and that goes, I guess, hand in hand with inside of my actually judging myself, like why can't I just? Why do I feel like I have to explain? I do think, mom and dad, if you're listening, I do think I might get some of that from you in the best way, because, again, we only know what we know from what we are taught.
Speaker 1:My father and I were talking the other day about people who are hard-headed or stubborn, and another thing I've kind of been looking at is people who are stubborn right, and we only think they're stubborn because they're not doing what we want them to do, whether it be oh, so many things start reading a book, whether it be start working out, stop drinking soda, get out of a relationship. That's bad for them. Whatever the choice we think is best for them, if they don't want to do it we consider them stubborn or hard-headed. But at the end of the day and I told my dad this at the end of the day, like we're pushing our choices, our views that what we think is best for that person on them, and because they don't want to do it, we consider them hard-headed when that's not it at all. They just they don't. The other person doesn't have to do what we tell them to do, even if maybe it's a better choice for them. But no one is ever going to be ready to whatever. Leave the relationship, leave the job, start the job, start the healthy lifestyle, get up earlier, whatever it is. Until they are ready and I think, because I don't like to be considered, we'll just say, hard-headed.
Speaker 1:When I've had conversations, maybe with my dad, I always back up my whatever I'm going to do with all the reasons why this is good for me. Again, I'm going to over explain to him so he doesn't come back in me over explaining. A lot of times if I tell my mom I'm going to do something, she'll listen and she asks a lot of questions. I know she's curious, but to me it feels like judgment and so I over explain, over explain, over explain and, as a recovering people pleaser, it feels rude to not over-explain. Does anyone else feel this way? Like if I said I am going to quit my job as a teacher and go back to Starbucks, I'd have a million people telling me a million different reasons why I should or shouldn't, or all the judgments in the world, and it would feel so rude to me to just be like nope, this is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1:I feel like I owe it to others in society who, by the way, have nothing to do with my life. I feel like I owe it to others to explain my movements, and so that's something new that I'm trying to practice doing. So if I tell you something, if you come across me in the real world, outside of the podcast world, and I tell you something, and I get a weird look on my face because I cannot hide my feelings. I am working on not over-explaining myself. Does anyone else do this? It's just just me.
Speaker 1:So I'm leaving these old stories behind. An old story that I have is I don't need to keep achieving, I can just be happy and be content where I'm at and I just need to stop reaching for things that are outside of my realm or maybe outside of outside of where I should be right now, like I just need to hunker down and just be happy with the life that I have created, and I feel like that was a story that I made up for myself again to make others happy, to make others feel safe with what I was doing with my life. I just wonder who else out there has an old story that they have told themselves. Maybe I am not a good runner, or I don't know how to podcast, or I've never read before. I don't know how to read or not how to read, but I've never enjoyed reading and I'm not a reader. But maybe you just haven't found the right book. Maybe you haven't found the right training plan. Maybe you aren't supposed to be a runner and walking is more your speed. Maybe none of that is for you and maybe there's something completely different. But I challenge anyone listening what is an old story you have told yourself that maybe you can start to rewrite with this new eclipse that is kind of coming and we're getting into that fall, winter season where I feel like we can kind of hunker down and renew.
Speaker 1:I was looking at my plants the other day. I have my friend, nicole, has given me a lot of her plant clippings over the last two years and my little garden has just really kind of become this huge, beautiful garden that I have. But the other day, as I was watering my plants and just looking like, wow, these are awesome. I realize it's taken a year to two years to grow a lot of these to where they are now and I just get so stuck in the why isn't my life where I want it to be right now, instead of thinking like maybe I need to move I'm not necessarily saying physically, but like move my house around, move my body in a different way, move how I am in the sunlight, how I am outside.
Speaker 1:I had a monstera that was just not doing well and I got a friend of mine a monstera for her new house and she has this really great window that it's in front of. And this monstera has grown three times its size and I'm so jealous of it because it's just like growing like crazy and she's done nothing but put it in front of this amazing window. So I put my monstera outside, I burned the leaves, I brought it inside and put it too close to the wrong window and a bunch of leaves turned brown and then fell off. Then I over-watered it. Finally I found a window upstairs in my room with just a beautiful light that it can see the sky all day, and already I have three new leaves within like a month. And I think it's it's because, like I parallel this to her plant, like I wanted my plant to be like hers so bad. I was like forcing love and light and water on my plant and I was just kind of killing it until I just kind of took a step back, found a better spot and then left it alone. Same thing with my money tree. I almost killed my money tree and then I did some more research on it and I found a better spot and now, like it has so many leaves. So I've just really been trying to parallel, like maybe I was feeling stuck and maybe I was kind of spiraling because I just wasn't in the right place, maybe I was putting my energy into the wrong things, and I really feel like maybe that was happening.
Speaker 1:I'm in a book club, also on Monday nights and we're discussing the confidence code and someone a friend of mine, asked we're trying about money. And she said Jamie, like a year ago or something you said, literally like money was just pouring in. It was crazy. Like I got a check from a bank that I had closed years prior and they like refunded all my fees for this checking account I had. And like I just got a check for $150 and then I was part of an advocate thing and there was a lawsuit and I got a check for $500. And it was like what is happening? It just it was like things were just flowing in.
Speaker 1:And she asked what were you doing differently at that time? And the thing I was doing differently is I was pouring into myself so much, like I was pouring oodles of water and love and joy into myself. I was moving to anything that made me happy and I literally steered clear of anything that brought me stress. And I feel like maybe this last year I kind of lost balance. I gave in to stress a little bit more. I gave in to things that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do, but I did anyways. And then this last probably month or two, I've really been focusing on like what makes me happy, what brings me joy, what makes me feel really good Okay, I'm going to do that or I'm not going to do that and all of a sudden, like I'm just looking around, feeling more peaceful, feeling like I'm in a different chapter. My plans are thriving, my financial life is thriving, my heart feels like it's thriving. I'm still working on that throat chakra. It gets stuck a lot, my words get stuck in my throat, but I just I'm really happy that I was almost able to like slow down. And I think the clearing I think I talked about this in the last two episodes the clearing of my house helps.
Speaker 1:I had these two laptops that I have not touched since 2013, but I have them just in case I needed something off of them. But you know what? I can barely turn them on, or one of them doesn't even turn on anymore and the other one I can barely turn on and everything is super, super slow. I took them back to the Apple store yesterday. Mind you, they have moved with me one, two, three times since 2012. And I have finally gotten rid of them. I have two pairs of jeans that I promised myself I was going to get hemmed. They've been sitting on a banister for probably six months. I finally just put them in my closet and I was like I'm not even going to look at them. I probably should. Nope, I'm just not going to look at them. I cleaned out my bookshelf, I went through my closet what clothes am I just not wearing? I'm trying to be really intentional and getting rid of things that are a part of that old story. When you look around your house, what items do you have that might be part of an old story that you're still telling yourself? Maybe you're hanging onto an outfit that you used to wear and used to feel so cute in, but you can't fit into it anymore and now it makes you feel bad. Just get rid of it. Don't blame me when you can fit into it again. Just go buy yourself a new outfit. Just get rid of it, let go.
Speaker 1:I had a conversation with a teacher at work the other day and her and I were talking about a situation that I was kind of stressing about and I kept saying I just don't know how to put this down. I just don't know how to put it down. And she said you just got to pray, you got to meditate and then let it go. And like I really have a hard time visually figuring out how to let something go. But I read somewhere or listened to a podcast or read I don't know. There's so much information in my brain, but whatever I read said just don't pick it up.
Speaker 1:So often there's a stress in our life and we choose to pick it up and then we can't put it down and I'm just choosing. I'm done picking it up, I am not going to, I have dealt with it. I have dealt with it and I have released it. But for whatever reason, I keep choosing, or I kept choosing, to pick it up or relish on it or think about it. And after I did pray and I meditated and I read about like just don't pick it up. It like flipped my whole mindset because now it's almost like I can send love, I can send light and I can. Just, I don't have to deal with it, it's on the ground and it just feels so wonderful to be able to just leave it. Just leave it and not explain why, and not over explain to myself or to other people my choices, what I have left down and, at the end of the day, right, we do not chase, we attract.
Speaker 1:We do not chase, we attract. We do not chase, we attract. I am telling you, it is so real, it is so real. We all have pushers in our life, right? Those people that push us to make a certain decision almost feels like sometimes and I hate to use this, the word bully, but I'm using it in a lighter version, if that's a thing it almost feels like if we have friends or family that, like, push us or bully us into making decisions, or making us feel bad about what we're doing, and those are usually the people that you start to like distance yourself from, or you feel shameful when you're around them, or you feel like, how are they going to judge me around this or how are they going to think around this? It's because those pushers are chasing, they're chasing, they're chasing. They're chasing. They're not allowing people to be attracted to them. They're not allowing opportunities to be attracted to them. I do not chase, I attract. I do not push my ideas on people, I do not push myself on people. At the end of the day, your love and your light inside you will magnetize the right people, and I have seen this whole concept I'm talking about on Reels, on Instagram, on TikTok. I have read about it in countless books, but it is one of the most true things I have ever known.
Speaker 1:I think I do not chase, I attract.
Speaker 1:I pray about it, I meditate on it and I am just me.
Speaker 1:I'm worried about my lane, I'm worried about my car, I'm worried about my journey and I will allow what is supposed to come in to come in. And I think too, when you start to really let that happen, the right doors start opening. You stop trying to force yourself into positions or relationships or places that were just not meant for you, because there's better ones out there for you. You just, for some reason, think, well, this is what I need right now, and this is what I want right now and this is what I'm going to go get, because we can't even fathom how amazing and great and wonderful life can and could be.
Speaker 1:Because, again, we're also so addicted to that comfort. Right, these regular decisions, these normal decisions, these old stories are comfortable. It's when we let go and we get uncomfortable and we allow life to just happen, and sometimes it's scary, but it's also just so, so great. So I will leave you with this as you go through the week, remember let people be, stay in your own lane and do not chase. Let the light inside you attract what is meant for you. Have a beautiful week, be kind and if you can't be kind, ask for forgiveness and move on.