Go Ask Sawyer
Go Ask Sawyer
10 Minute Thoughts - The Power of Staying in Your Lane
Ever found yourself caught in the crossfire of someone else’s emotional turmoil, or struggling to shield your dreams from the dampening skepticism of others? This week on Go Ask Sawyer's 10 Minute Thoughts, I, Jamie Sawyer, unpack the liberating mantra 'Stay in Your Lane,' drawing from the powerful tenets of 'The Four Agreements.' I'll take you through a transformative voyage of self-discovery, where embracing the art of not taking things personally is not just a fleeting notion but a practical strategy for daily resilience. You'll hear a gripping excerpt that might just be the key to unlocking an untouched level of personal freedom – a mindset shift that allows you to rise above the fray of a reactive society.
This episode is a treasure trove of anecdotal wisdom and tactical advice. I'll regale you with personal stories that underscore the potency of maintaining your inner peace despite outside interference. We'll examine the essence of staying grounded in the present and how to foster a sanctuary of trust even when faced with adversarial voices. Navigating the tension between self-preservation and external provocation has never been so critical. So, join me as we chart a course through the challenges of keeping steady in your own lane, where the rubber of your convictions meets the road of life’s ever-winding highway.
Hello and welcome back to Go Ask Sawyer. This is Jamie Sawyer, your host with our new series 10 Minute Thoughts. Today's theme is Stay in your Lane. I feel like I did an episode on Stay in your Lane back in Season 1 when I first started. I probably did one in Season 2 and now this is a quick 10 Minute Thought on it. But I do think it's worth revisiting certain themes. It's worth digging up new things that you find about it.
Speaker 0:Maybe you first hear about staying in your lane and you think to yourself, yeah, I really want to do that, but I don't know how. And then throughout the years you learn new things about it. And this week I just got done reading the Four Agreements, which I don't know how it has taken me so long to read this book. I know it has been around kind of forever, but Rule 2, don't take anything personally really really hit me. I feel like right now we are living in kind of a time where we think we need to react to what people say. We need to have something to come back with. It shows that they're not going to get us. We're going to be stronger and this last year has really challenged me to stay in my lane and kind of let natural consequence go where it needs to go without having a reaction. So I'm going to read a little excerpt from Rule 2, don't Take Anything Personally. And then I have a story for you and we're going to go into our day.
Speaker 0:Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own mind. Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators. They can hook you easily with one opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up. I thought about this right Like the more you know who you are, the more you trust yourself when people have stuff they throw at you. So often I tell my students this, and I have to tell myself this over and over it has more to do with them than it does you. Now is it fair that they spew whatever they do on you? No, that is not fair. But that is also something they're fighting with inside. They feel they have a right to spew their opinions on you, but remember it's really about what's going on inside of them.
Speaker 0:This next part. There is a huge freedom that comes to you. When you take nothing personally, you become immune to these magicians and no spell can affect you, regardless of how strong it may be. The whole world can gossip about you and if you don't take it personally, you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison and if you don't take it personally, you will not eat it. When you don't take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender but not in you. Again, kind of remembering that that silence is almost always worse than even saying anything back, because a lot of times when you're in your lane and people are coming in your lane, they're trying to get some sort of rise or action out of you.
Speaker 0:So let's talk about how to stay in our lane. First of all. Look down when are your feet? Let's talk about how to stay in your lane First of all. Look down when are your feet. That's your lane, this is your lane, this is who you are, not right, not left, not up, not down. In your lane, where your feet are. How do you stay in your lane? You just stay there.
Speaker 0:Don't worry about what other people have to say about you. Don't worry about people crushing your dreams or saying you can't do something or you can't accomplish something or something isn't for you. If there is a dream in your heart, if there is a thought on your soul, it has been placed there, that is, in your lane. What happens when somebody comes into your lane? A friend and I were just discussing the other day what do you do when someone brings you really bad news or says something really bad to you, horrible to you. How do you know when it's your turn to say something back or not? And I think a lot of that is how safe do you feel with that person? And that's, we'll get to that in a second. When that person has come into your lane and we're going to talk about with coming into your lane, I mean, has said something uninvited, has done something to you uninvited, they've come into your lane without your permission.
Speaker 0:So I was driving up north this last weekend and I was in my lane listening to my audiobook lessons in chemistry, having a grand old time, and this car just came into my lane Like so much so I had to honk my horn, I had to swerve, I had to slam on my brakes and she flipped me off. Oh my gosh, I was so mad. I was so mad, but I was like what just happened? You came in my lane, you almost caused an accident, you almost ran me off the road. My dog like hit the seat and you flipped me off. So I did what I normally don't do and I sped up into the other lane just to see who this was. And it was just I'm not going to be judgy, whatever it was like. It looked like an annoying white woman, whatever, but like.
Speaker 0:But she then started mimicking me with this weird crying motion and flipped me off again and, oh my gosh, every being in me wanted to go at her to show her how wrong she was, which she was. But then I was just like she's just not worth it. I'm going up north, I'm going to a place of relaxation and I know maybe 80% of the people would say you have every right to I don't even know scream at her, yell at her, throw something out the window at her car, but like why I don't want to get in an accident, I don't want something worse to happen to me or my car or her car, and then I have to somehow pay for it because of something that happened, is car or her car, and then I have to somehow pay for it because of something that happened. Is she having a bad day? I don't know. Was she late for something? I don't know, maybe. But it just got me thinking Like, yes, I wanted to show her and make her understand how wrong she was, but at the end of the day, why?
Speaker 0:If she's going to mimic me with this weird crying motion and flip me off after she came into my lane uninvited, she's got a lot of demons working inside her. She probably doesn't need me to yell at her either. And that's really what I keep thinking about. Like when someone enters your lane and just does something without being invited, how many demons, how much anger, how much hurt, how much sadness is in them that they feel they have any right. Put that on you and as soon as you pick it up and start fighting with it or going back and forth with it just like in the passage I just read from the four agreements you're drinking the poison, you're engaging with the poison.
Speaker 0:The real immunity is let them I think I said that in my last episode Let them. Let them think they're better than you. Let them think they got the one up on you. Let them. Good for them, good for you. Do you know who you are at your core? Are there times in life where you do need to put someone in their place, 100%? There are people that overstep way, way, way too much. But I just really want you to think about when you are engaging. Is it a power struggle? Or can you look at that person and just really think, man, they're really going through it and for some reason they're throwing it on me. I'm not going to take it, I'm going to put it down because I have more important beautiful, wonderful, positive energy to put out into my lane, to put out into the world.
Speaker 0:So when someone comes into your lane uninvited and again look down at your feet, someone has walked into your space, someone has spewed their words into your space. If you pick it up, you are picking up the poison. If you go back and forth, that's wasted energy. Leave people in their own energy. I think I said this in the last episode, also about Linus and the dark cloud around him. Let them sit in their dark cloud of poison. Let them sit in it. They don't want to be in it, so they're trying to throw it on you and then, if they do come into your space, ask yourself do I feel safe? Do I feel safe having a conversation? Some people yeah, you might be able to be like, hey, I don't want to have that conversation right now, or I don't like the way you talk to me, or this is how it made me feel, or there was a miscommunication. Let me clear that up. But I feel like eight times out of 10, that person who is coming into your lane uninvited doesn't actually want to hear what you have to say. They walked into your lane uninvited because they wanted to say something mean and rude to you and that's it, because in their head they're already right.
Speaker 0:So when you engage in the poison, when you engage in this person that has come into your lane, you're engaging with negative energy, you're engaging with dirt, you're engaging with poison. You have to be selective about who you give your energy to. Not everyone deserves your energy, good or bad. Not everyone deserves a beautiful conversation with you. Not everyone deserves a hard conversation with you. Hard conversations are really difficult and emotionally draining in and of themselves, depending on what the subject is, and you really need to be able to feel safe with the person you're talking to, to have that conversation, and you can always start it with. This is going to be a hard conversation. I'm going to do my best to be present. Can you do the same for me? And if they can't if they say no, I can't.
Speaker 0:If someone comes into your lane completely complaining about something, let's just say we have our complaining friends right that are always complaining. I feel like a little bit of me has become that way at work, which I do feel bad about, but I think it's just the season I'm in. You could always ask that person hey, do you want advice or are you just looking to talk? And also know that if that person is complaining to you, that might be some energy that's going onto you and picking up. Are you in the right mindset for that? When that energy exchange goes back and forth and maybe negativity happens and you want to get that last word in or you want to prove your rightness, ask yourself why? Why is it so important for me to prove my rightness to this person?
Speaker 0:I just really want you to think the next time someone comes into your lane uninvited, whether that be literally, through action or through words, don't take the poison. Don't pick up what they're throwing at you. You don't have to. You do not have to engage, you do not have to prove your rightness. Do they even have good intentions for you in life, or are they just trying to throw out their dirty energy because they don't want it anymore? I'm going to leave you with these words, which I do say to my students, and I have to remind myself as well Not every action needs a reaction. Stay in your lane. It's easier said than done, but I promise you you will really start seeing people and you will start to see all the stuff going on inside them and you'll start to see patterns, and it's not okay for them to come into your lane uninvited, and you can let them know that. Have an amazing day. I'll see y'all soon. Bye.