Go Ask Sawyer
Go Ask Sawyer
10 Minute Thoughts - What Makes Good Character
Can embracing your flaws lead to genuine happiness and stronger character? Tune into this enlightening episode of Go Ask Sawyer, where we explore the profound impact of self-acceptance on personal growth. We delve into the essence of integrity, not as an absence of mistakes, but as the courage to own up to them. This episode emphasizes the critical importance of being honest with oneself, confronting hard truths, and breaking generational cycles. By accepting our darker parts, we can diminish the power others have over us and ultimately strengthen our sense of self and character.
We also tackle the often uncomfortable realm of difficult conversations in relationships. Sharing personal experiences, we discuss the pitfalls of avoiding these necessary talks and the resulting unresolved conflicts and missed opportunities for growth. The episode highlights the need to address hurt feelings early and the influence of insecurity on our interactions. Evaluating the people in our lives, we underscore that great character doesn't demand perfection, but rather an acknowledgment of our humanity and the inevitability of mistakes. Listen to gain insights into how these principles can impact your relationships and personal development.
Hey, welcome back to Go Ask Sawyer. This is Jamie, your host of Go Ask Sawyer, season three. We are focusing on 10-minute thoughts, those ideas you have rolling around in your brain when you're falling asleep, going on a walk, sitting in silence. Today's focus is on character what gives someone good character and I think you know when I say that word. If we all really sat and thought about it, we can think of certain people in our life that you're like man, they're just a good person, they just have good character, even if because this is the part I've been thinking about even if they've done wrong to other people, there are still people that we can look at and think I mean, they're a good person, I like them, or they're a good person, I trust them, or they're a good person, I want them around me. And so I really kind of wanted to explore what that good character piece is today.
Speaker 1:Proverbs 10, 19 says whoever walks in integrity walks securely. But whoever takes crooked paths will be found out. And I was thinking about that today because I mean, I've taken many a crooked path. Who has not? Many things have been found out.
Speaker 1:But I think the more important piece is are other people finding out what you did? Or are you finally finding out? Are you finally sitting back and saying, hey, I need to own this action, hey, I need to own this decision? Because so often we are so worried about other people judging or finding us out that we fail to realize we're just hiding from ourselves. The more you're able to accept yourself, the more you are able to accept your flaws, the more you are able to sit and think about like, how did I play a role in that? What have I done? And accept yourself and love yourself and move forward, the less anyone can get to you. I think that's so, so important. I really never realized that until maybe this last year. The more you are able to accept the darkest parts of you it does not matter what anyone else has to say, because it just doesn't At the end of the day, you will be the last one standing yourself right, like, even if you're married, even if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, best friend, at the end of the day, it will be you left standing. At the end of the day, if you can't accept yourself, you will never truly be genuinely happy or confident. Truly be genuinely happy or confident. Let's say that again because it's so important. If you not your parents, not your friends, not your enemies, not your cheerleaders, if you can't accept yourself and who you are and all the deep, dark flaws and shadows about you, you will never be truly content and happy.
Speaker 1:The more you are willing to dig deep, the more you are willing to uncover about yourself, the more content and happy you will be, because no one will have to tell you about yourself. That's why we don't like to hear right when people have to tell us about ourselves. Because if you haven't accepted that, when someone is like hey, you're a conniving person, hey, you're a disgusting person, hey, you're not a trustworthy person, we don't like to hear those words Like ooh, those sting. But if you already know like yeah, I've played parts in people's lives where I was very untrustworthy. Yeah, I've played parts in people's lives I was a disgusting character. Yeah, I've played parts in people's lives where I hurt someone deeply, it doesn't mean that is who you are. That is not a definition of you. That is not part of your character. Maybe you have played that part. It does not define you. I truly, truly encourage you to sit with yourself and dig deep to uncover those things that you're worried other people are going to find out about, because the faster you find out about it, the less anyone else will be able to say to you about it. And when we think about someone who has good character, they're honest. The more honest you can be with yourself about roles that you play in your life, roles that you play in other people's lives, the stronger you are. Integrity does not mean you're a great person all the time. It means you're. I have integrity and I have morals. And yeah, I screw up and yeah, I have not always been the best, but when I do make a mistake, I will own up to it.
Speaker 1:A voice Someone with good character has a voice. They stand up for people who don't have a voice. They also know how to use their voice. They know when to get loud and when to get quiet. They know when to listen and when to give advice. They know how to have a conversation with someone who does not like having hard conversations.
Speaker 1:Courage A person with good character has great courage to have hard conversations, great courage to stand on their word. Great courage to try things that maybe their family has never tried. They have great courage to break generational cycles. They have great courage to stand up for things that maybe people around them never have before. You know, when you're always in the we're going to go with the flow. We're going to go with the flow. Well, everyone else does this. Well, everyone else does this. I was in a mode like that for a long time. And when you have the courage to finally break through that, that is so powerful and so meaningful and people look at that as character, like holy cow. They may get mad at you, you might have people cut you off, you may have people yell at you or constantly be in an argument with you, but also realize those people may have never had the courage to look at the world, to look at issues, to look at things differently, and a lot of times when people get loud, they're not feeling heard or they just want to be right, so they're going to try to scream and talk over you.
Speaker 1:A person with great character does not create conflict. Hear me again A person with great character does not create conflict. A person with great character does not create conflict. A person with great character looks for solutions. A person with great character looks to put out flames, looks to put out conflict. A person, I think with good character looks to how can we change this, how can we fix this? How can we make this better?
Speaker 1:A person with great character, determined and understands their flaws I think that's even I was talking about that just before. A person with great character understands their flaws. They see their biases, they know hey, this stuff makes me uncomfortable. Hey, this topic makes me uncomfortable. Hey, I have not always been the greatest friend to my friends. Hey, uncomfortable. Hey, I have not always been the greatest friend to my friends. Hey, sometimes I ghost people.
Speaker 1:I mean, a huge flaw of mine I've done it four times at least is when I think I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. I put up a whole ginormous wall and I will run the other way because I don't know how to deal with it. Right, I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to deal with it, and that is something that I have been taught right, like a lot of things in family have been well, we'll just keep it quiet, or we'll just ignore it, or we'll just pretend it didn't happen, but that doesn't actually fix anything. But my, my trait is because I am scared of conflict. If you're mad at me, you must hate me and I'm unlovable, and now I'm going to run away and that is not a good characteristic to have, but I know I have this characteristic.
Speaker 1:It is hard for me to have hard conversations. It's hard for me to see my role in maybe what I should have done right, like, let's say, a relationship. A lot of times this happens in my relationships where they end in some sort of explosion and then I'm just like great, this is over and never talk to me again and I run the other way and it's. It's hard to look back and realize, man, if I would have just, you know, six months ago, if I would have just talked about this, it could have been different Six months ago. If I would have just said their actions hurt me, things could have been different. But I was scared that if I said their actions hurt me, then I would have to uncover more things. And that's a characteristic of mine that I get sometimes scared to go too deep or scared to go deep because of what I might uncover. And that's something that I'm working with right now. Like what would I be scared of?
Speaker 1:So the last thing about characters and having a good character is how we speak about other people. I've noticed and I've done this too, and usually when I'm doing this I'm feeling I'm in an insecure state. But there are certain people that whenever I hang around them, all they want to do is talk about other people. They don't want to talk about ideas, they don't want to be creative, they don't want to genuinely just lift each other up. It's hey, did you see what they were wearing? Hey, did you see what she said? Hey, can you believe they did this? And that's just a character trait. That is just heavy and I've realized I've talked to some friends about this too like when that keeps coming up, that's, it's like an insecurity and it also almost feels at times like is there nothing else to talk about except another person? And if there's only another person to talk about, then what is our friendship based on? And what does that say, and what does that say about that person's character, that all they can ever think to talk about is other people?
Speaker 1:So, on this topic of character and having a good character, I think it's just really important to think about what do I bring to the table, what are the characteristics I'm really proud of and what are characteristics do I need to work on? And then also who in my life brings light to me, who in my life do I love to be around? Who in my life do I just light up? And then who do I have in my life that brings darkness or drains my energy? And that's usually saying a lot about their character, who they are, their integrity. And the last thing I'm going to say is you do not need to be a perfect person to have great character. We are human. We are all going to mess up. We are all going to hurt people that we do not mean to hurt. But that does not define you and that does not define your character. I hope this gave you