Go Ask Sawyer
Go Ask Sawyer
Season 4 Wrap-Up: The Ongoing Journey of Self-Discovery
In this final episode of our journaling series, we explore how healing comes in circles and manifests when familiar wounds are triggered but we respond differently. Mercury retrograde creates a perfect opportunity to slow down and reflect on our personal growth since April, measuring healing not by perfect avoidance of pain but by our newfound tools to navigate it without drowning.
• Started journaling series in April with "finding yourself again" as our foundation
• Explored topics of worth, shame, settling, and why we lie to ourselves and others
• Discussed abandonment issues and how they trigger feelings of being unworthy, small, and ugly
• Healing happens when same wounds get activated but we have new ways to respond
• People who hurt us most are usually those who don't know their own worth
• Healing requires recognizing your value even when others don't reflect it back to you
• Small consistent actions like daily journaling or exercise compound into significant change
• Season 5 will focus on stories of healing beyond just the host's experiences
Send your healing stories to @GoAskSawyer on Instagram or through the podcast text line. Please stay cute, stay loud, keep dancing, even when everyone is watching.
Season 4 Episodes:
April 13 - Finding yourself again
April 20 - Finding your worth - choosing you first
April 27 - Shame - What is our authentic self
May 4 - Setting - Why do we do it and how do our unhealed versions of ourself keep us settling
May 18th - Break time! Shake off routine - what did you try that was new?
May 25 - Lying series begins
June 1 - Part 1: Lie to ourselves - self deception
June 8 - Part 2: The masks we wear and how we harm ourselves
June 15 - Having faith, cutting cords, and zero fucsk - how have any of these impacted you? Didn’t listen, go do that.
June 22 - Unlocking your personal legend - what is it you were meant to do and how are YOU holding yourself back. I feel like I am supposed to be using my voice more and I know this because whenever I go to do it, I get really nervous and second guess everything I want to say. I feel like that is the sabbatoge part of me coming out to keep it hidden. The parts of us that are supposed to be used and seen, we often feel the most uncomfortable with. (Not everyone, but most.)
July 6 - Part 1: Emotional Honesty in relationships - what being the strong one (lying) can actually cost us.
July 13 - Part 2: The silent war in relationships - what is left unsaid speaks volumes.
Follow me on Instagram @goasksawyer
Hello, hello, happy Sunday, welcome back to Go. Ask Sawyer. This is Jamie, your host, and, as always, I appreciate you pressing play because there are so many podcasts you can tune into and there are so many places you could be and if I landed in your ears, I thank you so much for giving me just a moment of your time. Today we are wrapping up our journaling series that we started back in April and I really there's a lot of full circle moments that are coming to a head, so I think this is kind of a cool moment, a cool day. Today is July 20th.
Speaker 1:Mercury retrograde, as we all love, started July 17th, goes till August 11th, and Mercury retrograde, we've all heard, is like everyone's like ah, x's come back and lessons, and really it's just a time where it seems like the planet is moving backwards. It might seem like why are these lessons showing up again? Why are these people showing up again? Why are these feelings showing up again? Delays might happen, miscommunication can come up, so it's really to kind of like take the fear out of it. It's really a time where we need to slow down, we need to reflect and just revisit old ideas rather than starting something new so you could see a Mercury retrograde time as a great time to pause and maybe reflect on how far you have come, what lessons have you learned? What places in your life have you overcome something? So today we're going to talk about kind of the journey that we have all been on together since April and how are we healing from it. Because the healing process which my whole podcast, my whole ideas around are really all about healing Like that is the main theme, because ideas around are really all about healing. That is the main theme. Because hurt people, hurt people, healed people, heal people. And I just keep seeing more and more confirmation of this every single place that I look in people and situations, even in myself. So lots of green flags all around me. But I want to start us today in thinking about so. If you've been following my series and you have your journal, please take it out. Go find it, hit pause, take it out. If you had it on your notes app, go back to your notes app, open it up.
Speaker 1:Today is going to be a day of reflection, so give yourself a little bit of time because we're going to cheer each other on and we are all light right? John 1.5 says the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. Light will always shine in darkness, always. So I really want to encourage everyone listening today to be that light. Don't succumb to the darkness, don't succumb to actions that are low vibrational, don't succumb to people that want to pull you out of your beautiful shining light that you have, because we need more light in this world. I think we can all agree on that.
Speaker 1:So full circle moment we started back in April, april 13th to be exact, was the first episode about finding yourself again. So you can always kind of maybe pause here and look back to that time of you know what did you need to find? Maybe it was a new self that was emerging. April 20th, we talked about finding your worth, choosing yourself first, which is, I do believe, is really hard to do. In a world of social media, in a world of comparison, in a world of everyone else seems to be doing better than myself, how do we kind of drown out all that noise and just say, no, I choose me Like I choose, I am doing phenomenal, I'm going to live in my delusional main character energy world. And actually the whole month of I think it was April to the end of May. I had like lived in this main character energy and, if any of you follow me in my personal life, I was posting a lot of dancing videos. I got back on TikTok, I was posting all these dancing videos but it was more or less. It was really for me and I can say that with confidence 90%, 10% vanity, but it was really for me to show up as this person that I want to be, because I want to attract someone, something that is going to match that energy. Okay, so how are you being the main character in your life?
Speaker 1:April 27th we talked about shame and what is our true, authentic self and why do we feel shame? And is it us that's feeling that way or is it other people outside us making us feel that shame? And then connecting that to the next week, may 4th, settling. Why do we settle in jobs, ships, situations, environments that we should not be in because they are not giving to our true, most authentic self? If we cannot get to that core root of shame, I believe that we allow ourselves to settle more because we don't think we're worth more. That line we don't think we're worth more it really gets to me because I can clearly see in people in my circle I don't know why I get so teary-eyed whenever I do these dang podcasts.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I can clearly see in all the people that I'm surrounded by how much they deserve and how amazing they are. I look at people in my life sometimes and I'm like dang, you deserve every good thing that comes to you. And some people are in low vibrational situations. In my opinion maybe not in theirs, but why can't we see that in ourselves? How is that so easy to see in others and so hard to see in ourselves? But again, that goes back to who am I? Do I know my worth? Can I stand in my worth? And sometimes our outside world is going to say you're being selfish, you're being too much. Oh my gosh, you're being too dramatic. Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep doing that? But realize those voices might be coming from people who aren't even doing it. Those voices are coming from people who don't even know their worth. Those voices are coming from people who aren't putting in the work, who wouldn't even want to start healing, who wouldn't even want to look deep inside themselves, like dang.
Speaker 1:Why am I so insecure? That person hurt my feelings and I'm going to put that on them instead of asking myself why did my feelings get so hurt when they said that? Why did my feelings get so hurt when? So, my friend Maureen, she used to get other friends how dare she right? And actually I think my other friend Megan I used to have this problem with too, when my friends would get other friends, I would get so offended, I would get so jealous and offended and upset, like why do you need other friends? But it was because I thought if they have other friends and they won't need me anymore. If they had other people that are cooler than me, I don't know how that's possible, but whatever, I would get put on the side, I'd get put on the bench I wouldn't be allowed in. Maybe they would do something cool without me. And again, you guys can hear my anxious attachment right coming out as I'm speaking on this and that makes me so sad for me in the way of why would I think that way? Like why would I not know my worth and know my friends are my friends and like we're all good? And I mean that is something that I'm constantly healing, that is a constant healed wound in me that I'm like, where did this even come from? Okay, so what in you knowing your worth, understanding, shame settling, are you settling?
Speaker 1:May 18th, we talked or we took a little break. We shook off the routine. I think I encouraged you guys to try something new. Say yes to something new. I did my first open mic two weeks ago. It was I think it was the last week in June and it was. I took myself on like a Milwaukee day date. I did the farmer's market and then I took myself to the beach for the day. And then I had heard about this open mic and I had never been to one. So I was like, well, I'm going to go try it. And I went and they were like, do you want to read your stuff? And I was like what? No, maybe kind of I don't know no. And then I did, you guys like I read two of my poems I had written and, oh my gosh, I felt on top of the world. I felt so great and that was something new and I got really good reactions from it. So yeah, definitely on the docket to find some more. But what have you tried this summer? That's been new, that you're like I can't even believe I did that. I've never tried that before. I really pushed myself All right.
Speaker 1:Then we got into our lying series, which started May 25th. We started talking about like why people lie. I mean, I lie, you lie, our jobs lie to us, our people lie to us but like, why do we do it? And then, june 1st and June 8th, I asked you to look at yourself. Like, where are you lying to yourself? What masks are you wearing and how is that hurting you? How is that hurting your authentic self?
Speaker 1:And I, as I'm saying this too, I'm also thinking about like, what are we so scared of that we feel like we have to lie. And I mean I could say a million things. Right. Oops, I did something wrong. I cheated on a test, I did something wrong. I told my friend I was going someplace that I really wasn't. We're trying to cover up something that we did that maybe is out of alignment with who we are, who we think we are, who we say we are. But when we're lying to ourselves and when we're doing that, how much harm is that causing? And then we go back into say it together shame settling, not really being our authentic self. So go back to those episodes if you have not listened to them.
Speaker 1:And then, june 15th, we took another break and we talked about having faith and cutting cords and having zero fucks about what we do. Just again going back to, like, how do we walk in faith? And walking in faith for me in these last couple of weeks has really been about not knowing what is coming for me and understanding that maybe the outcomes aren't always going to be shiny and bright, but walking that way anyways. I just listened to this whole sermon yesterday about, kind of like, why we have fear and how we allow distractions to get in the way of God, and the story of Peter walking on water when God said come out of the boat and walk to me. I believe it's in Matthew. I'm sorry I don't have it written down, let's just talk about it. Walk to me. I believe it's in Matthew. I'm sorry I don't have it written down, let's just talk about it. He was able to walk on water when he kept his eyes on God and as soon as the wind came and he looked at the wind and got scared, he fell down right. The wind being the distraction, the wind being the outside, the wind being the we don't trust. Like, what do we have our eyes on? How do you have so much faith when you have your eyes on God, or if you do not believe whoever you believe in, because we're not here to judge, we are here to support. When you have faith in that and you keep your eyes on that, you're able to cut those other things out that don't need to be there. You are able to give zero fucks about what other people might think who don't have their eyes where you do, because their story is not your story. Their life is not your life. So how did that episode impact you If you didn't listen to it? June 15th, june 22nd, we looked at unlocking your personal legend and I read a few pages from the Alchemist and we talked about what are you here for? Like, what do you need to keep going toward? And I am getting more and more and more under understanding confirmation that I'm supposed to use my voice, and I know this because every time I am about to use it, I have all of these thoughts, like if you guys could see the amount of journals I have and the amount of writing I have and the amount of ideas. But every time I'm about to say something, I instantly second guess myself and I get scared and I go into who do I think I am? But I think that's that's the win, that's the distractions, and I think, like other people are going to hear me and be like, oh my gosh, who does Jamie think she is? I don't know, I just think I'm me and I got some thoughts and the more I speak and then just hear feedback from people like I really love that podcast or oh my gosh, I just listened to this and that really touched me, or I really appreciate what you said on this day, it's like confirmation, confirmation, confirmation, confirmation. And yet I still second guess. So I do feel like my personal legend is using my voice. So I'm going to dig more into that. What is yours right? What is your personal legend that? What is something that when you do it you feel so alive, but right before you do it you're terrified. I feel like that's how you kind of know you're getting close. July 6th we talked about 6th and 13th we looked at emotional honesty in our relationships and that's again any kind of ship that you're on. The first one was what is being the strong one when you're lying? You're trying to be the strong one You're trying to fix. You're trying to push things down. What does it actually cost us? And then the 13th just last weekend I talked about the silent war in relationships. What is left unsaid speaks volumes, and I think we can all attest to. Whenever we decide to be silent about something instead of speak up as much as we think we're keeping the peace, we're just causing a whole war inside us and maybe we're even we're causing the wedge in the relationship. So, as we have this full circle moment, mercury retrograde has started. We've come to the end of my this journaling series. I hope you have not stopped journaling. Come to the end of this journaling series. I hope you have not stopped journaling. I hope you're still doing it, even if it's three minutes a day. Just put it on paper Like I said anything. I don't know what to write today. Write letters, write song lyrics, things like I write Bible verses and then I reflect on them and then, all of a sudden, I'll think of a song after that and then I go look up the song and then I write the lyrics down from the song and then I start analyzing about why these lyrics mean so much to me. Also, realize, friends, once you get these things out, it is allowing room for breath, it is allowing room for peace, it is allowing room for other things to come in and it's also a way we heal ourselves. Getting this stuff out is how we heal ourselves. Healing is never done. It comes in circles and, in my opinion, here's how I know I am healing. Right, it's never done, but here's how I know I'm healing what I've experienced from it I can tell I'm healing when the same wound is activated and I react differently. It might not be perfect I never want to say I'm perfect but I don't react the same. So, for example, abandonment in my ships, on my ships I think you guys all just heard me talk about Maureen and Megan and when they would get other friends and I would, all my abandonment issues would come up. And again they would come up in forms of jealousy and all this stuff. But it was really just about feeling abandoned. When those other, when abandonment continues to come up, I used to feel it all over my body. I would feel so discarded, so unworthy, so small, so ugly. I would want to isolate. And I would feel so discarded, so unworthy, so small, so ugly. I would want to isolate and I would rethink everything about who I was. I would go so far deep inside myself that I would sometimes forget who I was. And after much healing, journaling, therapy, reading God's word, working out, showing up for myself, eating differently, talking to people, when my abandonment gets triggered now and it has I feel like I'm able to identify it and like reparent myself. I don't even know if it's reparent or like be the friend that I need. I'm able to like show up for myself, like I hold, like I hug myself. Right, I hug myself and I'm like Jamie, you're okay, you're safe, you're okay, you're safe, you're okay, you're safe. Like I literally have to hold myself. When I do that, I have to tell myself I love myself. I have to do all the affirmations, but I know how to. I didn't know how to do that before. So when things come up and trigger you, how do you get yourself out of it? I can now disconnect from the pain and realize it isn't about me. I am still me. I am still beautiful and worthy and worth it. It was just the situation and it does not mean that I don't still get hurt by feeling abandoned. I don't still feel that pain, but it doesn't completely swallow me. I don't drown in it. I used to drown in it, but I don't do that now Because, again, I have tools, I have resources. I also had to know that. I had to know my worth and I know I keep saying that, but I don't think we realize the people who can hurt us the most are usually others who don't know their own self, their own worth. They don't know how to take accountability for, like, their feelings or thoughts or actions. So then they put it on us and if we don't know how to handle that, all of that stuff will trigger everything the abandonment issue, the anxiety issue, the I am worthless issue, I am not smart issue, whatever that is that comes in for you, that inner child. Sometimes I literally even picture my little Jamie self sitting somewhere thinking where did this even come from? I don't even know. Well, in therapy we've kind of identified some things, but I think a lot of it was just pushing things under the rug. We're not going to talk about it. We're not going to talk about it, which made me feel like my emotions weren't worthy. So I really, really encourage you to get to work. If you start now, so many amazing things can happen. I got back on my workout horse July 1st and every single day since July 1st I have been in the gym and running or just running, because I have two other friends that I'm doing this running thing with, where we send each other we have to run or walk at least one mile every day and then send each other the results. But since July 1st and today, I used to be an avid runner and then I got hurt and whatever. Today I ran two miles and I felt so good. I felt so good, you guys, and it's because I started showing up for myself on July 1st and it was like we're going to walk, run one mile, and it was nothing big. But every single day I have been doing it and I have been showing up for me and like it's all those little things, friends, it's all those little things, friends, it's all those little things. So you know that you're healing. I think when the same wounds get triggered and instead of reacting in one specific, certain way that you always normally do, you're able to be like whoa, okay, I see what's happening. This still hurts, this still sucks. I'm still going to go cry in my bed about it and eat all the food and do all the sad things, but I know what this is and I know how to get out of it. I have the tools I need to bring myself back and that is progress. So this is the official end of season four, my journaling season of healing, reparenting, looking at those things, pulling them up. We have a new season coming up. I'm really excited. We have some fun things coming, but I want you to look at your wounds, sit with them, touch them, love them, pour salve all over them, be as gentle with yourself as possible and please know that you're worth it, always and forever. Healing is never done, but with the right tools and people and love, it gets easier and more exciting, because the more you own your story, the less anyone can come at you, and if anyone wants to share their story of something you're healing from, I would absolutely love to hear from you. Through the podcast, you can send me a text. I believe there's a phone number in there. Please send me a text through that, or go to at Go, ask Sawyer, all one word on Instagram. Find me there and send me a message. I would love to hear your story. Because season five I want to be about our stories of healing, because it's not just me. So, friends, as always, I love you so much. Please stay cute, stay loud, keep dancing, even when everyone is watching. Peace.
