Go Ask Sawyer
Go Ask Sawyer
Backyard Conversations with Toya: Healing isn't Happiness
Season 5 kicks off with my friend Toya from Universal Teas! In our mini series, Backyard Conversations, we will dig into healing, friendships, and shining bright. Sit back and join us for episode 1 - Healing isn't Happiness.
Healing isn't happiness, and happiness isn't healing. In this candid conversation with Toya from Universal Tees, we explore what healing really looks like, when it happens, and what we learn through the process.
• Healing looks different for everyone—sometimes it requires isolation, sometimes community
• Breaking out of cultural "bubbles" can force us to confront aspects of ourselves we didn't know needed healing
• Shame is an "inside job" that comes from within, not something others can put on us
• Being "healed" means having awareness and tools, not the absence of negative emotions
• Self-trust is essential to healing—if you don't trust yourself, you'll never truly trust others
• Essential tools for healing include therapy, movement, journaling, meditation, music, and honest self-reflection
• Consistency with your healing tools builds self-trust and accelerates the healing process
• Healing requires ownership of both who you were and who you're becoming
Join us next week as we talk about our circles: who's supporting us, who's holding us back, and knowing when to let go.
Follow me on Instagram @goasksawyer
Hello and happy Sunday. Welcome to season five of Go Ask Sawyer. I have a very, very special guest with me today in a little mini series. I have Toya with me from Universal Tees and what this might look like for us. She has amazing thoughts and ideas around this on her podcast which you all need to go check out. So I thought let's come together and let's have some deep conversations around what this looks like. So, first of all, welcome.
Speaker 2:Thanks.
Speaker 1:Thanks for coming all this way.
Speaker 2:It was great.
Speaker 1:I love a good drive, yeah, I don't mind, in the summer heat and even outside, yeah. So episode one today we're talking about healing. When does it happen and what do we learn? And I don't know about you, but it's kind of like going to God I don't go until I need something, yeah. I don't heal until I break, yeah, which I would love to get better at knowing when I need to sit down, knowing when I need to reevaluate. And I noticed I don't know about you, but events that usually force me into like isolation, yeah, are breakups, betrayals, yeah, and just maybe like loss of self so it is a question, so I don't know if this is okay.
Speaker 2:So are you saying, are we starting with the fact that isolation is coexist with healing? That's a great question.
Speaker 1:That's kind of how you started. Yeah, that's real.
Speaker 2:So those can be different, but they all also can coexist.
Speaker 1:So, but maybe I find that when I need to heal I isolate right so I connect those things.
Speaker 2:But maybe I haven't gotten to a healthy place where I have where I can understand that they don't have to yeah, because I mean and I think I think this is getting ahead of our question but I think healing looks different for some people. For some people healing is isolation. For other people healing is community. So I think that's the first kind of thing. And when we talk about when does it happen and what do we learn yeah, it happens. Some of the things you mentioned are ways that it definitely is triggered. For myself, I think those things do constitute healing. I think just trauma, recognizing trauma, requires healing, because I just recently have had realizations that some things that I thought were the norm for me, just like in life and growing up and family dynamics, were normal. But now, as I'm trying to navigate my personal womanhood, it's like that is the reason that I can't do this thing and I didn't realize that they were connected. So now I'm healing my ignorance to like certain things.
Speaker 1:So ignorance, or is it just like I don't want to say blind, but like if you're brought up in this certain way, like that's all I know, yeah, so then it's like whoa, there's just yeah, this whole what, yeah?
Speaker 2:I think it's ignorance to the world, like ignorance in the literal sense, like I didn't even realize that I was in a bubble this whole time. Like I didn't realize I was in a bubble. So I think that realizing that you have to rewire your whole psyche around certain things in order to get to another level of what you deem as success, it's traumatizing and that's something that you have to heal.
Speaker 1:So how did it? Okay, so you said, you've been in a bubble and I've been in those places too where I'm like I did not realize I was here. Is there anything that made you realize you were in a bubble, or is it just kind of like life in?
Speaker 2:general, yeah, yeah. So it's happened several times. I don't, I think, because I'm more mature mentally. Um, at this season of my life I'm realizing it more. So the first time I realized it and it was cultural, right.
Speaker 2:So I grew up in a community that was very black, right, I was a lot of people, a lot of black people named that they didn't have a teacher who was an African-American until whenever high school, college, my story was actually the opposite. Okay, I was never around people who weren't black. Okay, until I was in high school. And so that kind of bursted a cultural bubble for me, because for the first time I'm like immersed in and my high school was extremely diverse, like it wasn't just white, black, it was literally like every culture, ethnicity, religious background you can think of. And so that was the first time I was kind of like, oh, this is what's going on here and I had never seen it.
Speaker 2:And so that was the first event that made me realize that. And then I think now this is my first time in my current job being the only Black woman in the space, because I've been in diverse spaces but I've never been in predominantly white spaces. So that's a first. And so it unlocks this whole different level of, like, empathy and navigating, and I don't question my professional practice per se, but it definitely brings about isolation, naturally, because I can't express myself in a way that I naturally do, because they might not know what I'm talking about or they might judge the way that I articulate in a certain space.
Speaker 1:So, and you, probably, I'm guessing, wouldn't have thought about that before, never.
Speaker 2:And now you're like let me just twice yeah, it's like I gotta think through what I'm thinking through that's and I've never had a lot of brain power'm thinking through and that's a lot of brain power. It is, it is, that's a lot of brain power.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, coming out of the bubble, have you had to heal? Like, is that cause triggering you, causing you, triggering you to heal parts of yourself that you knew? Or, like unlock parts that you didn't even know were there? I don't even know if it's you, but maybe even just like the way you see that you didn't even know were there.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if it's you, but maybe even just like the way you see. So I don't think. I don't think it's something that I necessarily had to have to heal, it's just a perspective and that's just one idea Of like events, because I think you asked like an event that made me realize I was in a certain bubble. So those are like real world events. But I think those like shifts that you kind of mentioned, like with breakups or like all the things and grief is something that I've been navigating over the last month or so Also are things where it's like healing looks different in all of those settings.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I'm even thinking like, yeah, I'm even thinking like yeah, I'm even thinking like grief of friendships, like using a friendship. I think I have that actually in a different episode.
Speaker 1:I won't jump, but yes, but like grief of friendship, like that's going to be a different healing than a breakup, absolutely. Or even like losing a family member. Or you stop talking to a family member because you realize, yeah, we're not clicking and that's. I've had to deal with that this last year too and like that was really weird, yeah, to pull back some people pleasing things that I yeah love doing people pleasing is the word. I'm really guys, I'm in recovery, I'm in recovery.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's very chronic over here so what does healing like?
Speaker 1:now I want to talk about like. What does it maybe look like for you, like when you and myself, like when we're going through healing not everyone starts a podcast, but what does it look like? What are some things that you go through or that you feel, I guess, for example. For example, like I, I isolate, I go inward, even though I do love community and friends. Like initially I have to just like sit by myself. I do a lot of crying, I do a lot of questioning of like who am I? What's going on, but it's like I almost need to like shed. I don't know if that's like my shutting period. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think events so okay, what was the original question?
Speaker 1:The original question what does healing mean to you? What does?
Speaker 2:it mean.
Speaker 1:Or what does it look like?
Speaker 2:Okay, For me. I also am a chronic isolator. My healing is very aware, though I will say, okay, so in my healing I am isolated, but I am aware of my emotions, like again, I might be crying, I'm in tune with my anger, I'm in tune with the shame, I'm in tune with guilt. So my healing is isolated by audience. Okay, my healing is, yeah, like I think I'm still figuring that out because I'm in a new space of healing okay, but yeah, for me it just looks, it is isolated, it's quiet, but it's aware. My healing listens a lot. Um, because once I'm rubbed the wrong way or like once something doesn't make me feel good, I isolate. But I've watched it here from the outside. Okay, I realized too. I have to be honest with myself, I'm a chronic ghoster.
Speaker 1:Oh, I feel like you've talked about this on your podcast before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, You've talked about this Because I don't like confrontation and so if I feel in certain scenarios like offended or I just when I decide I'm done, I don't let you know I'm done, okay, you're just done, I'm just gone, I just am no longer a part of your life, which, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1:I find so much strength in that because I can't do that. You want to talk? I want to talk, I want to know why you hurt me. I like I and maybe and I, but I think that's because, like, I'm chasing validation and I wish I was better at being like, um word, there is no explanation. Yeah, you don't even know why. Yeah, so I find strength in that only because I have a hard time letting go.
Speaker 2:But that's like a valid, like it's how do I a choosy validation thingy yeah, and I have, I have, I don have. I want to say I have a hard time letting go, because I'm thinking about all situations like family, friends, love, all of the things I can ghost, and for me it's it doesn't feel strong to me because I leave or I decide to go after I've let things happen over and over again, instead of stopping it faster, instead of stopping it, instead of naming like this is what you did, that I didn't like or like. This is why I'm not happy at work. It's like I get to a point where I just kind of watch you do the same thing over, like I'm not going to tell you about it, I'm not going to and so to you or to the person and I have to be more honest in that some people deserve to hear that they did something wrong. They don't mean it, they may not, but I also am like you knew, yeah, like, and then when I you knew what you were doing, you knew, you knew, you knew. That's a whole.
Speaker 2:Something that I plan to explore is people act like they don't know, and this is people that are close to you. I can see if it's somebody I just met and it's like oh, I didn't know that that would hurt your feelings or I didn't know you had a problem. You knew good and well, yes, you know me, you know me, you know I, especially if you know me, you know me, you know me enough and you know I know you. So you know, I know that. You know you was on some bullshit and now you're going to pretend like you don't know why.
Speaker 2:So is that for me too, like people try to just act like they didn't, even in work situations. I've had to tell people at a previous employer like no, you're not supporting me. And I've told you several times the type of support I needed, to be happy here, and you just thought, oh, you know you come in every day. I thought it was fine. No, I come in every day and I was feeling what I need. So now don't act surprised when I tell you I'm no longer going to be employed here. So it's that like I feel, like I'm not. I don't have to over-explain myself to somebody who knows me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I see that as a strength, but I could see it from your point of view too, where you're like, how could I maybe say it sooner?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like it's immature sometimes Because I ghost people. That's not like I just disappear out of people's lives and they probably don't know why, but you know why.
Speaker 1:so anyway, I don't know also that could be different. You're gonna explore that. Yeah, I'm gonna explore and articulate it better. So, isolation, ghosting sometimes I think sitting with emotions is very, very hard, at least for me. Like and I'm trying to get better at like I'm feeling really sad, I'm feeling really angry, I'm feeling really shameful, and instead'm feeling really shameful and instead of like trying to cry or do it, like just like sitting with it, like why do I feel the shame? Why do I feel this anger? And that's where I'm been trying to get to myself now, because I feel like the more I can get to the why, maybe eventually in partnerships or whatever kind of ship I decided to be on, like I can articulate that to the people around me. Yeah, I feel shame when this. I feel angry when you do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's hard and that is something. Shame, guilt and fear are like the big three in my life over the last couple of years that I've been letting navigate and like steer, and I think those emotions are things in themselves to heal from. Yes, because why? And I had this thought today, actually when I was at work, because, like I was just telling you, I decided to like watch a consulting company and so I feel like in my chest. I call it anxiety, I call everything uncomfortable anxiety and I had the realization today, like that's not anxiety, that's your call to action.
Speaker 1:Oh, so are you scared, like is it your past or is it? What am I trying to say? Are you um?
Speaker 2:self-sabotaging. Yes, because what it is is. I'll be in a moment where I'll get like this rush of like ideas, like, okay, I can do this. These are the companies I can reach out to, these are the people I can talk to with the podcast. This is where it's going to go, this is where it's going to do, and it's almost like oh no, that's too much, you can't do all that. Who do? I think I am. You can't do all that Like scale, scale it back, and I call it anxiety, but it's like no, you made that call to action into anxiety because you're more familiar with that. So what part of you do you need to heal? Like, who's been telling you? Where did you get this idea that you can't do all of that, if you've already gotten it downloaded from God and so you can? Yes, like if the thought is here, it came from somewhere, yeah, so like, why wouldn't you? It wouldn't come, it would have went to someone else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if it wasn't, I 100 believe that. But I know that feeling of like, oh my gosh, I again. It always goes to who do I think? I yeah, but everyone's doing it. There's people all over that are just doing very mediocrely too.
Speaker 2:Is there really a?
Speaker 1:word, but, yes, we're gonna make it a word today. Mediocrely is all the time, and I see that and I'm like I could have done that, I could have done that I could have, and I'm like but that's me, yep, I'm getting in my own way, yep. And the thing about shame real quick is, I've been trying to figure out if I'm feeling shame for things or if other people are making me feel shame.
Speaker 2:I think shame is an inside job. Yeah, do you think other people can put?
Speaker 1:it at you. No, okay, so you think it's mostly you. I mean, I think a lot of it's me. I know I'm not usually in alignment with my character what I'm doing, which is why that's coming out.
Speaker 2:I think shame is an inside job, because the same thing. Think about it like if you trip and fall, you can even be like this is so embarrassing or you can laugh at yourself, yeah. So I think shame is kind of that same thing, like oh my God, I'm ashamed that I'm so clumsy and it's like girl, that was funny, just get up, that shit was funny, like get up, and that reminds me I just failed.
Speaker 1:Oh no, Were you by yourself or with other people?
Speaker 2:No, I was not by myself. Shoot, I was and this is going to sound like weird, but it was needed. So it was actually the day of my grandmother's funeral last month and like everything was all over, and so me and my sister and brother and my nephew were like getting in our cars to go somewhere and like I missed the curb oh no, and I fell and rolled. Oh, you had to roll with it. And my nephew who's 16, is like oh my gosh, are you okay? And I just like popped up. And my sister's like did you fall? I was like popped up and my sister's like did you fall? I was like I did fall and it was just. We all needed that laugh. But in that grieving time I could have been angry, I could have been just like right, I could have just made the day work, but it was hilarious. I love that. My nephew didn't even try to catch you. He was oh my god, she's rolling. Oh my gosh, did you just fall Like no?
Speaker 1:So maybe that's also a self-esteem thing, like the stronger you know and feel about who you are not much gets to you. Yeah, so like that, shame is like I did it, I fell. Whatever, we're still moving on.
Speaker 2:But I also think, with shame you have have to. That's where the healing has to be. That's where the healing has to be kind of determined, because I feel like the feeling of associating shame with things that happen to you are rooted in something else, like there are things that I've done in my past that I didn't feel shame for until someone else presented it from their perspective. And now I'm like, well, maybe I should be ashamed of that. And I think that's what you mean when you say people put shame on you, but no, because if it was like, I could still be like, yes, I did, I did Whatever. Like if you upset about it, I don't got to be ashamed about it because you don't feel this way like no, but yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1:I think it's an inside job, just like happiness is an inside job no one can make you happy nobody can make you happy, not even feel happy yeah, you might feel happy around them, but at the end of the day, it's really like it's literally you and I mean I just shared with you a little bit. But like I have been on this little journey of like loving myself so freaking hard that anyone else who comes along has to look at me and be like dang, that's her bar, yeah goals.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to get there like I am my favorite person ever. I want to be yeah, I'm working on that. That's where I mean. That's. It's really hard to do and it feels self-centered sometimes or like self, but that's healing, but that's also like, but why?
Speaker 2:yeah that's healing. That's it. And here's the thing too. This is very. This is not going to end the episode. We don't have more things to talk about. Okay, yeah, also, if I'm being completely honest, I'm tired of hearing about healing, and this is what I mean, because that could be like girl, why would you agree to come on this podcast?
Speaker 1:No, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Because sometimes I'm like I feel like it's like a TikTok dance. At this point we're all going to heal, but are you? Yes, it's the decision. I feel like we are in this and I have to be honest with myself. That's kind of the season that I'm in right now. Going into my own podcast is like we have to get. We're getting comfortable with the down feeling. It's almost like healing and being sad and depressed. It's like a marketing escape sometimes, yes, I mean, it's like ain't nobody healed, nobody. Like we're all still in the down here. Like I refuse to yeah, like I refuse to claim healing as a lifelong process no, I do think it's lifelong, but I don't think it needs to be.
Speaker 1:Well, and that was one of the questions like how do you know? Is it ever over?
Speaker 2:I think we associate healed with happy yes, okay.
Speaker 1:And those are not. And like once I'm peaceful, then that means I'm healed. Yeah, no, no, because someone's going to come along and trigger. But how are you?
Speaker 2:going to handle that? Healed is having a toolbox. Yeah, healed is like I'm going to be sad again, I'm going to be angry again, I'm going to be hurt again. I might be jealous again, I may experience shame again, but I don't let it become my identity. Yes, that's healed. Healed is not happy. They're not synonymous.
Speaker 1:Right, because you can be very unhealed and very happy. Yes, you know what? Sometimes I wish I was more ignorant like that, because I don't want to know all these things. Yeah, like.
Speaker 2:I've had that thought. Some of the most unhealed people don't even realize that they're unhealed. Yeah, and I be saying all the time I think I'm so stressed and distraught because I want to be great. A lot of people that I know that I grew up with are like on their third baby daddy, still living with their parents, but have the time of their lives every weekend.
Speaker 1:yeah, and here I am stressed, trying to budget and trying to get everything in and right, and I'm healing and I'm feeling and I'm in yoga and meditating, I'm paying attention to myself.
Speaker 2:Maybe I should just drink. It's my smoke, my emotions away.
Speaker 1:I think that might be. I don't think you can do that. No, I'm not going to do that. I know, but I have thought about that too. Sometimes I wish I didn't pay attention. So maybe, instead of healing, this next season is just like falling so deeply in love with yourself that you accept all of those things and you want to know why.
Speaker 2:That's healed. Healed to me is awareness. Like there, healed is Awareness and action, because you have to be aware that Things are going to go wrong. You have to be aware that People are going to Betray you. You have to go Like You're going to lose people. Like healing has to be awareness and I think that's that's it, like I'm gonna be healed and it's not. I'm not gonna always feel good, though. Yeah, like it's not gonna always be yoga and sunshine and I might not always handle things the way I want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in my, in my head, like I want to be so fit together, but sometimes I might lose my shit, and that's I need to be. Once I love myself deeply, it's going to be like and I'm completely okay with that, and that part of me needed to lose my shit in that moment. So healing is cyclical and I think we can see, as you just said, like, am I making progress, the more other things start to trigger us, or that same situation comes up and it's like, oh, my gosh, I handled that so much better. Yeah, or I didn't handle that and that opened a full, different onion peel that I did not even know was there, and that's okay. So, speaking of toolbox, okay, toward the end, here I have. Oh, before I move on, yeah, why do you think healing or loving yourself is so hard for people to do?
Speaker 2:Because we let other people in too deeply. We do it subconsciously and I'm speaking from my own experience. One of my favorite quotes from my podcast is I'll be just telling my business. Yeah, we let people in. We don't have an awareness of our subconscious and we subconsciously compare. And we subconsciously compare. We subconsciously, you know, take on these roles and responsibilities that were never assigned to us. Healing is hard because we think that it's supposed to be pretty. Healing is hard because we think healing is happiness. I think healing is hard because we lie to ourselves, we suppress our emotions. I'm a firm believer that every now and then, people got to get cussed out. Yes, and everybody. I'm not telling y'all to live y'all life that way. Just once in a while, once in a while, people got to get cussed out and with love. You need a good loving cuss out.
Speaker 1:You can tell when someone cusses you off from love and when they're cussing you on anger. Yeah Well, no, it might be anger, but you don't.
Speaker 2:But they feel different. Yeah, it might be like a loving anger, it might be like, you know, it's like when it rains, when the sun is shining, but it's fine.
Speaker 1:I was also thinking sometimes we put too much responsibility on other people. But that's going back to the happiness comment that you said, and people are so unwilling to look at themselves because they want to put it on someone else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, responsibility is heavy, heavy, especially when you have been wrong, yeah, when you have done things that are not good, when you lived a life at one point that now you are not proud of, but that's still you. You still have to go in, you got to go acknowledge that part of you that was that, that did do that and that's the only way you can move forward. And I think, too, healing is hard thinking about that, because we, we allow ourselves to stay stuck in ways that people know us. So let's say, I know I've progressed and healed. I've changed drastically, drastically from who I was at 21, um, and so now at 31.
Speaker 2:There are people who have not been affiliated with me in this phase, so sometimes I allow myself to go back there and that's where shame is, because it's like, oh, now I'm ashamed, yeah, or now I'm trying to defend who I was then and it's like, no, actually I have nothing to defend. Yeah, that is that was I did. It's done. But now? So are you gonna sit with me now or you gonna stay back there with with that? Yeah, oh, yeah healing.
Speaker 2:Healing has to come with some level of like ownership. Ownership just take it ownership and not like um internalizing yeah, I wish people knew like the.
Speaker 1:the more they would just take ownership for stuff like, the faster you could get through emotions, life situations, yeah.
Speaker 2:And this is backward advice, because I ain't even there yet. I'm working on it, but you know, I'm aware I haven't owned everything yet.
Speaker 1:Like I know the things and just I'm still working on it. Yeah, okay, yeah, okay, so working on it. Toolbox what? Do you have, Like I have a list of what I have in my box.
Speaker 2:Okay, I want you to go first so I can get an idea. Okay, great, I might steal something.
Speaker 1:So journaling, of course, like anything on paper Toolbox, moving my body, like just walking and sitting in the grass, sometimes laying in the grass my Bible Meditation it took a long time for me to be able to like meditate for 10 minutes, okay, but just sitting, my friends crying and just like letting myself cry and like screaming a pillow, yeah. And then books, like I have stacks of books, yeah, there's certain ones that like the four agreements in the meantime loving bravely, like there's certain ones that really stuck with me, yeah. So that's my little short list I have Okay, what's in my toolbox?
Speaker 2:Child and music.
Speaker 1:Just different types of music.
Speaker 2:Okay Child, I've been in therapy for like the last seven months consistently. I don't even have therapy on here, listen, I've been in therapy. I've been telling that woman all my business. I love therapy.
Speaker 2:I'm getting more and more comfortable with it and that's the thing too. Like therapy used to seem weird because it was like I was not triggered. I was scarred from telling people very deep things about me, and I did and then ended up not being safe. So I had to get comfortable because, like you're a stranger and I know you, a professional, but you probably going home telling your husband my business but I know you're taking notes, it don't matter because I don't know your husband. Yeah, but therapy is in my toolbox. Therapy. And I tell people to go to therapy and be honest, because just going to sit there, not going to make the work happen, they're like I don't want to talk about it. I'm like, tell your deepest darkest. My therapist is on vacation right now so I missed my last session and I'm distraught, like, anyway, therapy is in my toolbox.
Speaker 2:Moving my body has been in my toolbox more. I want to get more in tune with my physical journey. If I'm, this is unconventional, but being honest with myself is in my toolbox and not even. I think. Especially social media, I think, ruins us in so many ways Because we think being honest means posting it on social media, like I don't have to tell the world the thing that I'm working through, no, but it's telling myself Like in the mirror, yeah. Or just like journaling Journaling is a way of doing it.
Speaker 2:Or even just I have a lot of self-talk, like going for a drive and just saying, like you were wrong, that was wrong. Like being able to tell myself that yeah. Or having people tell me things and being able to decide if it's true or not. So being honest with myself is in my toolbox. So that was therapy Moving your body, moving my body, being honest with myself. And I want to get more and more because I like even number in my tool. But I still think isolation or alone. So I'm not going to say isolation, because there's a difference between being alone, being with myself.
Speaker 1:Like cooking dinner.
Speaker 2:I love watching Like just yes, pinterest, recipes and wine. Yes, I've been loving that. I like that for you. So yes, okay, okay that, why yes?
Speaker 1:I've been loving that. I like that for you. So, yes, okay, okay, that's a good toolbox. I encourage everyone listening like get a good four things in your toolbox. So like when you're going through something, when you're healing, loving yourself, something triggers you. It's like okay, we're going to go for a walk. Before we process, we're going to look in the mirror Like that is so, so important.
Speaker 2:Oh, to add to that too and I know we're about to wrap up, yeah, but I think too, I like that you said four things, because another way that you build trust and I actually asked my friend about, like, how do they build confidence, but I think this also applies to, like, if you're healing or you need to, if you're in that space is not overwhelming yourself with strategy. Yes, because the more consistent you are, the more you trust yourself, and that's a that's huge like. If you don't trust yourself, you're never going to trust anybody. Oh my gosh, can you say that again, please? If you don't trust yourself, you are never going to trust anyone else, because you are now relying on all of your trust and comfort to come from outside. So, until you can truly trust yourself, you will not be able to heal, and so, having only four things to go to, you're going to have to trust yourself that one of those four things are going to work out. You can't keep running to something new. So I like it.
Speaker 1:Start with four or just two and are going to work out. You can't keep running to something new, no, so I like it. Start with four or just two and keep going to those things, those two. Consistency builds trust, yes, yes. So, and that trust thing that reminded me of you know people that are like I don't trust other people. I have trust issues and it's starting to make me think you don't trust yourself, you don't trust other people. That's me. You don't trust yourself. We could have talked about that. We could have talked about that, because that's where I am in my life and that's where it's like dang, you're supposed to be your own best friend. Why don't you trust yourself? What are you doing that you're abandoning? So okay, friends, next week we are talking about our circle. Who are we being supported by or held down by, and kind of like, when do we know, when you gotta let go, who are our people? So I so much appreciate having you here. Yes, so listeners, please stay cute, stay loud and, as always, keep dancing, even when everyone is watching.
