Owning Your Voice: Shame, Resilience, and Truth-Telling with Allison Lane

What if the story you’re most afraid to tell is the one that holds the key to healing—not just for you, but for others too?

Allison Lane has built a career helping authors, leaders, and everyday truth-tellers shape their stories and bring their messages into the world. A story strategist and messaging expert with a background in big-brand marketing, she now guides people through the vulnerable, transformative work of telling the truth—on the page and beyond.

But behind her sharp strategic mind and no-fluff approach is a life shaped by experiences that would leave most people asking, “How did you survive that?”

In this episode of I Don’t Know How You Do It, we talk about what it really means to own your voice—from the stories that shimmer in shame to the ones that help others heal. Allison shares her personal journey from surviving a traumatic childhood to building a thriving business helping others share their expertise and write their books.

Whether you're wondering how to tell your story, navigating shame from the past, or dreaming of writing a memoir or launching a message-driven career, this conversation offers wisdom, hope, and clarity.

You'll learn:

• Why shame simmers in secrecy—and what happens when we say it out loud
• What resilience really looks like (hint: it’s not about being tough)
• How to move from surviving to shaping a message that makes an impact
• Why your “obvious” story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear
• The difference between surviving and healing—and how storytelling can be the bridge
• What to do if you want to write a book or tell your story but don’t know where to begin

Learn more about Allison:

Website
LinkedIn
YouTube
Facebook
Instagram 

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Music credit: Limitless by Bells

Transcript

Jessica Fein: Welcome. I'm Jessica Fein, and this is the “I Don't Know How You Do It” podcast, where we talk to people whose lives seem unimaginable from the outside and dive into how they're able to do things that look undoable. I'm so glad you're joining me on this journey, and I hope you enjoy the conversation 

By now, we've had conversations with more than a hundred people who are living some sort of “I don't know how you do it” kind of life. And one of the things that has become really clear is that pretty much every one of us has at least one story – most of us have more – that we're not sure how or whether to tell, and that most of the time those are exactly the stories other people need to hear. 

On today's episode, I'm [00:01:00] joined by Allison Lane, messaging strategist, story shaper, and the kind of person people instinctively trust with their truth. After 25 years in big brand marketing for places like Burt's Bees, the Body Shop, Unilever, Allison quit her corporate job just two weeks before COVID hit with no business plan and zero backup. Since then, she has built a thriving career helping authors, entrepreneurs, and everyday truthtellers bring their stories into the world and her own story.

Let's just say that before she turned 18, Allison had endured more than most people face in a lifetime. Things that would make anybody stop and say, how in the world did you get through that? And yet today she radiates warmth, humor, and the kind of wisdom that only comes from walking through fire. And choosing to speak the truth out loud.

Allison is not here to inspire with platitudes. She's here to remind us that resilience isn't about pushing through. It's about finding your voice, releasing shame, and choosing [00:02:00] to keep going. One true word at a time. This episode is just like Allison, raw, rich, funny, and fierce. Without further ado, I bring you Allison Lane.

Welcome, Allison Lane. It is so overdue and such a pleasure to have you as my guest on “I Don't Know How You Do It.” 

Allison Lane: I have been waiting for this chance because your listeners, they're all feeling like they don't know how they do it. They don't really know how they're going to do the thing that they know that they need to do or how they continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Jessica Fein: Well, you're exactly right and obviously you have listened to, I think a lot of these episodes and you know that we have heard more than a hundred stories of people who literally hear other people saying to them, I don't know how you do it. [00:03:00] All the time, and you in fact have made a career helping people like that and so many others explain to the world and share their stories about how they do it. But I think that a lot of people don't know that you yourself have a whole lot of, I don't know how you do it, and I don't know how you did it in your life, much of which happened before you were even 18. 

Allison Lane: Yeah. And that's not when you want the bad stuff to happen.

You wanna be grown, and unfortunately as a child you have very little control over the people around you and how the people act who are around you and you don't know. You haven't learned how to challenge what's happening in a room. And say, this is inappropriate. I'm gonna be outta here now at 54. Happy birthday to me I know how to do that. 

Jessica Fein: It's not actually your birthday, is it? 

Allison Lane: No, [00:04:00] no. 

Jessica Fein: Okay because I would be singing now and then we'd be losing our listeners. 

Allison Lane: No, it was a few weeks ago. May the 4th. May the fourth be with me. Yeah, so I, I think that there were a lot of unfortunate things that happened to a lot of people divorce when my mother kicked my father out when I was 4, and I was very, very shy.

I was actually too shy to go to kindergarten. 

Jessica Fein: That's so interesting because of the many, many, many words I would use to describe you now, I don't think shy would be one of them. 

Allison Lane: Well, stay with me. Okay? I think as a shy person, you learn to observe and as a child in an unsafe situation, and I'll get to that in a minute, with a mom who was fierce, but also abandoned, and a little sister who is one, you understand that you feel safe sometimes, but mostly when you're alone.

[00:05:00] And not when you're around people, you know what they say. Children and dogs know when someone's a bad person, and I think I understood by watching. I couldn't escape, you know, these environments. But I could notice, and in my head I used to play a game of everyone when they're distilled down is one thing, one emotion or one behavior like happiness or anger.

Like some people you just look at them and go, oh, I think in their core, you know, if you like boiled them down into a reduction loss, they are. 

Jessica Fein: I know that was not where we were going, but I gotta just interrupt 'cause that is fascinating. A, do you still think that? B, what's your one thing and C? What's mine?

Allison Lane: Oh, you find the joy. In everything. And I think you're so good at that. And also you connect with so many people. You're really a [00:06:00] hub of love. 

Jessica Fein (2): I'm so glad I asked 'cause what a lovely thing to hear on this dreary, rainy day. So thank you. Well, you're welcome. What's your core?

Allison Lane: I have been told and believe that at my core, my purpose is to help other people reach their potential.

Sometimes potential they don't see. 

Jessica Fein: Okay. Well that is a gorgeous thing to have, and I see that in you as well. So we are definitely gonna talk about that. Alright, so now we're back to the little girl. 

Allison Lane: Yep. So alone, sometimes hungry. My mother developed a drinking club of one of her alcoholism.

Through, you know, depression and solitude and then a number of things and I'm just gonna rattle them off so that listener, you don't have to gasp. Many times, just once when I was 11, my father who lived 30 minutes away [00:07:00] but never came to see my sister and me 'cause he was a piece of work. To be polite.

When I was 11, he killed his girlfriend and shot himself in the head and he survived, and she did not. He went to jail and as we were told in the seventies and eighties, this was a family secret. I. Hmm. And I wasn't allowed to tell anyone or talk about it, even though sometimes my mom would say, do you wanna talk about it?

I didn't know how to talk about anything. Why would you talk about anything? 

Jessica Fein: And it wasn't like, I'm gonna hire you a professional to go talk to about it. 

Allison Lane: Nobody talked about needing to talk to someone or a therapist. I mean, this mental health was not a term. Yeah. Please. And so not feeling safe. And my mother had unfortunately fallen in love with a narcissist who had a mean streak, and he would call my sister and mean names like Fat Ass as a nickname or a dumb shit, which is not a kind moniker [00:08:00] no.

And you just know that you're not safe around people. They ended up getting married and it was a dark time. And then my first sexual experience was the result of bullying. My second one was rape. And I was in high school and I did the whole rape kit and overnight in the hospital. Then I had to go back to school where everyone knew what happened, but no one would talk to me.

And that kind of isolation means that you are cut off from your entire network of support, that people are whispering about you, you feel betrayed. I felt betrayed and like I needed to hide, so I immediately changed all my friends. And started dating a boy who was very nice to me, but also was dealing drugs.

So that was not good. And a year later, he was killed in a drunk driving accident three months before my graduation. So not only did I have to deal with not knowing how to talk about anything, feeling only safe in his [00:09:00] presence, and then he wasn't there and not feeling safe at home. And also my father who, I still, when anyone asked, where's your dad? Like, oh, you know, he lives in Florida. I don't see him a lot, which was baloney. He never owned up to anything, and it took me years to be able to speak. All of the things that I say to you now, I was so wrapped in shame because shame just sis in secrets in shadows, and until you can say these things out loud.

And feel like you can breathe again. You can't write about them. And looking back now, the reason why I am not grateful for those experiences, but the way that I can tap strength from them is that. Oftentimes when people come to me and they say, I wanted to write this book about, I don't know my best practices in the medical industry.

And I go, uh, that sounds like a textbook. And then they say, well, I [00:10:00] mean, it's based on the fact that this and this and this, and this happened to me. Like, okay, well then that's a book. And many times they tell me, I'm gonna tell you something that's really hard and I don't wanna trigger you. Like nothing shocks me.

You can't shock me at all. Because the adverse childhood experience scale is a one to 10. I'm an eight. I've only met two other eights. This is not a good score, but because of that, oftentimes I'm saddened. I, you know, I'm, I'm horrified by the violence and the indignity and all the et cetera, et cetera, that have happened to people.

But here's what I tell them. That is not you. That doesn't define you. It happened to you. It is not who you are. And if you can use that as the core that's driving you to want to tell your story, let's find a way to make that happen. And it might not be memoir. It might be if you're a physician and you want to write about the [00:11:00] effects of homelessness and you also were homeless, let's tell part of your story because when you tell it, it makes somebody else not feel ashamed.

Jessica Fein: And PS by the way, I think you might be referencing a past guest on this show. So if people wanna hear that story, please go back and listen to my interview with Dr. Maria O'Rourke. One of the things that you say is shame simmers in secrecy, and that's just first of all, such a beautiful, beautiful way to put it, this whole idea of shame simmering.

I'm wondering what was the turning point for you in telling your story and letting some of that shame out? How did you get there? 

Allison Lane: Well, I think two things. Anyone who's, you know, over the age of 30 might remember a day when you were supposed to bring your whole person to work, like bring your whole self to work, but was baloney because as soon as somebody would [00:12:00] reveal something that was hard or horrifying, that wasn't what they meant.

They just meant bring your fun personality. So true. It's okay not to wear pantyhose to work anymore. You can wear shoes that don't all look alike, like that's what they meant. But two things happened. One, I reconnected with my now husband. We had a hot and heavy three-week affair in college. We met at the gas station slash sandwich shop called Bunny's Bar and Grill.

On dollar pitcher night. It was romance. And then 13 years go by and he Googled me and my name was on a PR or a press release. 'cause I ran PR for Unilever North America. And when we reconnected, I almost challenged him. I said, here are the things that you need to know about me. And I listed them all. And he goes, but that's not you.

He said, that's not you. I don't care. I'm so sorry that happened to you, but that's not you. And then two weeks before COVID, I got another boss at [00:13:00] work who didn't learn anyone's last names, which was super nice. And I just thought, I, I cannot, my mother had just died, and I just did not have one more moment to waste being annoyed.

So I quit and I started working with people. I saw a need of, like, people don't know how to write a pitch letter, you know, to pitch an agent. They don't know how to pitch media. They don't know what to put on their website. These are things that I've done for 25 years now. 30. 'cause I'm older than dirt 

Jessica Fein: and I think younger than me, so I don't know what that makes me. 

Allison Lane: I don't know. But we both knew God when he was a boy. That's all I'm saying. But when I was doing that, I started a Facebook community. And oftentimes people would ask questions. I would hold kind of open office hours on Fridays, and this was throughout COID mostly. 'cause at that time I was like, I need something to do.

I just quit my job. I have no income. And that's when you and I met and people would ask questions and [00:14:00] they would often warn me that I am gonna tell you something and. I was trafficked as a child, or you know, I was abused. And I would often say, first of all, this is a safe place. Bad things happen to everyone here.

But also I know I look super white and shiny and like a new penny, but here are the things that have happened to me, and so I understand abandonment. I understand violation. I understand lack of control. I didn't experience what you're experiencing, but it's okay. And I think I had to do that so many times that after a while I'm like, oh, the world doesn't crumble when I share these horrifying things.

And also they happen to so many people. It's not unique, but we think it is when we keep it a secret. 

Jessica Fein: And there is something so relieving about meeting somebody where you feel like I can say [00:15:00] anything. It's not only that I'm not gonna shock them, but it's, I. They're not gonna judge me and they're not gonna judge me, not only for what I might have done, but they're not gonna judge me for my circumstance or for what my family members have done, even for my family members whom I love and adore and have done bad things.

Because we're all, you know, on the precipice at one point or another. And boy, to be able to exhale in somebody's presence and say like, I can just let it out, is a real gift. 

I'm sure that people have told you throughout your life, once they know the, once they know the full you, that you weren't really bringing into work.

God, Allison, you're so resilient. You're so, what do people get wrong about resilience? What do they misunderstand? 

Allison Lane: I think that they think it comes from strength. Like you have some sort of fortitude, and I don't really believe that's what resilience is. I think a resilience is about letting something go and letting it trail you.

It's okay that it's [00:16:00] there, but you're always gonna look for the next step. And I'm not sure that that's about, you know, like nose to grindstone. It's about I continue to search for the good. What do you think? 

Jessica Fein: I think it is getting up and doing whatever the next thing is. I think that it would be easy, it would be sometimes delightful to stay in the fetal position.

For me, that is not how I feel that I am exercising my resilience. For me, it is, you know, showing up and doing however small the next thing is, but, but doing the next thing and continuing to show up. 

Allison Lane: Right, and, and I think having been a shy child and then a parentified child, which is a term I learned from my psychiatrist, which for those of you who don't know, it's just a child who needed to parent themselves and parent the people around them.

I. I [00:17:00] definitely had to look out for myself and make sure that my mom got up for work sometimes and put her to bed when she was blackout drunk, and she came through that after her second divorce from that rat bastard who you know, he rot in Tennessee or wherever he 

Jessica Fein: is. Boy, I love that you can now call him rat bastard.

I feel like you're getting back for all the horrible things he called you. So yes, that rat bastard. 

Allison Lane: Anyway, eventually I learned that in observing people, I'm really interested and sometimes, yeah, I might have a bad day, but I get to talk to people and dive into their story or help them build their brand.

And to me it's so exciting. It's like a mystery of where the opportunity is gonna lead us. I love that. This is my A DHD brain. I get, I'm riveted. What if we do [00:18:00] this? What if we do that? What if we turn this story this way or turn your message this way? It opens up a new opportunity for speaking engagements to an audience you didn't even know needs you.

And that's what I call on that I learned through trauma as a child. I mean, talk about turning that on its head. I mean, yes, it took, it took 45 years, but still, 

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Jessica Fein: A lot of people are busy simmering in what they feel is shame, right? And they feel like, okay, this happened to me or that happened to me. And that's my like family secret. They are not necessarily feeling like this is something to share with the world. And yet you help guide people to a place where they understand that that's their gift to share with the world. This is their power. How do people get from point A to point B? 

Allison Lane: I think sometimes they need to see that there are groups of people who are looking for them. And when you shut yourself down in shadows and secrecy, that shame leaves a stain. Even when you go out in the world, you feel like there's like a big spaghetti stain on your front, and somehow people are gonna [00:20:00] see and judge.

But that stain is perception. And once you notice that, oh, there are other people who also have stains and they're looking for someone who's. Going to help them feel less alone. 

Jessica Fein: It's really interesting because when I think about myself and things that I at one point felt very secretive about and then shared, it's not only that we can help others, but it's a total game changer for ourselves.

For example. I went through a lot of fertility treatments, a lot of things that at the time were pretty out there for five years. This was before social media, and I felt this was my total secret, like this could not be a more personal thing that I was going through. Why in the world would I tell anybody?

The result of that was that I totally isolated myself. You know, I felt this was my secret to hold, and everything [00:21:00] changed for me at that time when I started to talk to people about it, because now I could accept support right now. People could be present for me in a way that they simply couldn't. So I was isolating myself.

So I wonder, do we think there's more healing for the person who is sharing their story, or for the person who is receiving the story? 

Allison Lane: The healing that happens when you are past your crisis and that you can be there for someone else. It is such a feeling of comfort and kindness that is a wash over you and when you're in crisis.

And someone drops off, you know, a lasagna to you and you think, I would not even know how to make lasagna. I can't believe somebody did that for me. But you remember it. The acceptance of help is certainly healing, but in that moment, you are not healing from your crisis. You're [00:22:00] healing from your resistance to accept help.

And what you're giving is the opportunity for someone to care for you, and you are accepting that the assumption that no one would was wrong. People show up for people. Someone says, how are you doing? And you know you're going through a hard time and they know you're going through a hard time, but you say, I'm okay.

That is baloney. You are doing yourself a disservice. You're doing them a disservice and it's kind of insulting. You are like shrugging them off. 

Jessica Fein: Allison, I literally wrote a piece that came out today about this very thing about when people are like, Hey, how you doing? What's going on? And. And I'm fine.

But I think it depends 'cause the person holding the story definitely has the power to decide. Like we're in the grocery store, I'm buying my Cheerios, like I'm not getting into it with you. But I ran into a woman I had worked with a long time ago the other day in in the [00:23:00] salon, and I mean it had probably been 10 years since we saw each other.

So she asked me something about one of my kids and I did not say, oh, everything's good. I said, it is a tough time. And she said, I. Oh my God. Same with my kid. I'm going through a tough time. This was really like literally we're passing with like turbans on our head from the sink to the, you know, blowout station.

Allison Lane: Mm-hmm. 

Jessica Fein: And we exchanged numbers and now, you know, and it was literally just from a question and a spur of the moment decision. Not to say everything's fine, but to say it's a hard time. You know, one of the things that you say, and again, your use of language is so beautiful, but you say people come to you and they kind of like whisper their stories to you.

What do you think people should know about who gets to tell their story? You know, some people feel like I've gotta, you know, keep this on the down low. How do you help people understand like, no, this is your story, let's bring it out. 

Allison Lane: Well, let me back up by saying people whisper and not even when they have a secret, [00:24:00] sometimes their secret is, I have this message, or I have this expertise, and I've always wanted to write a book, and it goes to a whisper.

Because it's like saying, I've always wanted to win the lottery. People don't know how publishing works. They don't know how a book gets born. So sometimes their secret is, I'm an accountant, but I've always wanted to work in mental health, like. Finance people also need mental health. You can't be numbers all day.

There are always avenues for sharing your story and your expertise, and sometimes your expertise comes from your story. They do need to realize that their secret hope isn't a secret and it's not shameful. You can make a career pivot at any time or expand your ripple effect. Stay in the same career that maybe you're, I don't know, head of your department, head of the journalism department at the University of [00:25:00] Maryland, go terps.

But you've always wanted to share how to tell a story. But speak in elementary schools, that's not an obvious career expansion. But if that's what you want, it's possible. And all you're doing is expanding the ripple effect of good that you have in the world. You can say that. There's always a way to make it happen.

Even when the secret wish that you have you boxed up and put in the back of the closet, that's in the back of your mind. There's always a way, always. 

Jessica Fein: I love this so much because it goes back to what you said your core was at the beginning, which is seeing in other people things that they might not even see themselves.

And I do feel like there's a bit of an epidemic these days about people having these secret wishes. I was at an event a couple weeks ago, speaking with a good friend of mine who runs a company and he tells me what he really wants to be doing is writing screenplays. And then [00:26:00] like five minutes later, I'm talking to another guy who also, by the way, runs a company.

I mean, what can I say? It was a gala. And the other guy says, I'm working on a standup act, and he starts testing out some jokes on me. I mean, this is not something I ever would've thought was secretly a standup comedian, but I don't know if it's the age or what, but it does seem like people have these, like, this is my secret, what I really wanna be doing, and I love that you are helping people do the thing that they feel like they might need to whisper.

And you're saying no. No, and maybe it's a career pivot or maybe it's just expanding your ripple effect as you put it. Have you ever thought about writing your book? 

Allison Lane: Well, sure, but what book would that be? I've been told I should go on the road as a standup. Just honestly when I tell all of my stories of every first date I've ever been on, because I was single for a long time and I dated everybody in Chicago one time.

And some of the manners that people have on first dates are astonishing. Like the [00:27:00] guy who cried, I mean literally weeped when he learned we wouldn't be having sex on the first date because his friend told him if he would just, he was going through a divorce and he had his friend said, but my friend said if I just went out, I would be able to have sex again.

I was like, I don't even wanna, I mean, do we have to get the entree? Can we just cancel? 'cause you are batshit crazy. I mean, what book would I write? I love other people's stories, and I have written many parts of other people's books and helped those. I don't feel called right now to write my own book. I.

Unless it was about how you can open up your own next chapter. 

Jessica Fein: Well, that's a book I would read for sure. So I think you should do that. But the point is not feeling called, and I think writing a book is such a labor of so many things. Yes, a labor of love, but a labor of a lot of things. And it takes so much and you [00:28:00] really do need to feel called, you need to feel like this.

Like you have to write this book otherwise, right. Don't even, don't even bother. 

Allison Lane: Right, and at this point I feel called to help people find their path forward. Too many people think that they have to start small or earn their way through a series of hunger Games type of activities to earn their way to the place that they wanna be.

And you don't, it's not like school where you start in first grade and then you go to second grade. You can simply declare what you're going to do and start doing it. 

Jessica Fein: I always say, instead of even declaring what you're going to do, just declare that you are doing it. In other words, yes. That you are doing it.

Yes. Yeah. Right. Instead of saying like, I'm gonna write a book, say I'm writing a book, because that changes everything in the way you are thinking about it, right? And so I feel like, you know, I'm gonna run a marathon. Great. I'm running a marathon, now I'm buying the [00:29:00] sneakers, and I'm out there and I'm doing the training, right?

Because once again, just a language shift. 

Allison Lane: Yes, the thought of running a marathon, I would need so much pelvic floor training in order to do that, that I am never, ever going to do that. 'cause I pee a little every time I run. 

Jessica Fein: Well, I'm right there with you. I don't have that issue, but I will tell you that I cannot even run like to get my mail.

So the idea that I'm gonna be running anyway, but I, I think we both will write a book or many books before we'll be running a marathon. 

Allison Lane: Correct. 

Jessica Fein: A lot of people are sending you stuff and saying, I don't know what to do with this, how to make this into something, you know, worthwhile. And I imagine that sometimes you read things that you feel like, oh, I don't know, that's kind of, that's gonna take a lot.

But sometimes you read things that on the first read, you know, you get chills. What is it about a story that makes you feel like there's magic hiding in here? 

Allison Lane: Oftentimes, it's not just the words, but it's meeting the person and [00:30:00] understanding the perspective that they have that they think is no big deal.

And I think that a lot of times the thing that you think is obvious blows someone else's mind. Even what we're talking about right now. The things that are obvious to me about paths to publishing or how to launch your book in a way that allows you to never leave your house, if that's for you. There's always a way, and that's so obvious to me, but never is it obvious to someone else.

They think, oh, I'm just, my book's not gonna succeed because I have a chronic disease and I can't leave the house. I can't do a book tour. I. No problem. There are always ways forward and so do people come to me and say, is this a story? Of course it is. It always is. It's how you wanna package it and where you wanna end up, and that's really not my job.

I'm not gonna help you write your manuscript. I will, once you get a book deal. But mostly I'll refer people to you because [00:31:00] I really love finding the angles for moving people forward to helping them see themselves as having a bigger ripple effect in the world. And that's part of their own marketing, not just marketing the book.

That all goes into the book proposal. It goes onto their website, it opens their eyes to opportunities for collaboration, speaking partnerships, teaching class, hosting programs, speaking a summit. I. That they didn't realize. I think that that is what I find so transformative for me as saying like, choose three things off this sampler platter.

What appeals to you? You don't have to do everything. Pick three. 'cause everything's on the table and they go, oh, I really would like to host a summit. Great, let's make it happen. Here's how opening people's eyes to these are choices. Choices are good. That's what I love. 

Jessica Fein: It's so beautiful to see how you have taken [00:32:00] this like huge career that you had for decades and now are helping individuals using those same skills to help individuals amplify their own superpowers the way you were doing for, I don't know, lip balm.

Allison Lane: Burt’s Bees, baby, Burts’s Bees. But The Body Shop, I mean my background is big brand PR and marketing. I was in PR agencies in New York and Chicago, and I worked with a ton of celebrities and I met with the top 40 magazines in the us. Every month for 15 years. And what that taught me is there's an angle for everything.

Every story has at least 15 angles. And you know, I have a template for this, which is my middle name, Allison. I have a template for this lane because people don't realize, they think, oh, well I told my story that one time, so what am what else am I gonna pitch to media like. That's the same story we're gonna tell a hundred times.

There's always a way to twist the kaleidoscope and look at it a new [00:33:00] way, and that's what you learn being in PR and marketing, is that you've got to take the same lip balm and showcase it in a different way, package it in a different story for a different audience, and the audiences are vast. 

Jessica Fein: My last question, Allison, what is something you still don't know how you do, but you do it anyway?

Allison Lane: Good Lord. I don't know how to put on eyeliner. I have hooded lids and I now fake it with dark eye shadow and I don't know how I do it, but I do it anyway and it is horrible and is my everyday hill to climb. Probably not what you were looking for. 

Jessica Fein: It is exactly what I'm looking for and I might just be coming over for a lesson on how we do that because I too, I'm getting hooded lids.

Allison Lane, there is always such greatness in talking to you because not only do I learn something, but I am sure to laugh. So thank you [00:34:00] so much for spending this time with us today. 

Allison Lane: I really hope that you, the listener, understand that your story and your expertise are needed in the world. And what you have to share is valued.

And it's okay if you wanna start slow. You have to start with a baby step. And sometimes that's writing. I am a writer. Pencil back of your dry-cleaning receipt. I am a writer. Good, now you're a writer. Now what? Now you're listening to Jessie's podcast. You can listen to mine, “The Author's Edge,” which is marketing in publishing.

Jessica Fein: There are many ways to find Allison and to work with Allison and all of those of course are in the show notes. Thanks, Allison. 

Here are my takeaways from the conversation with Allison. Number one, your story matters even if it feels messy, unfinished, or hard to tell.

Number two, shame simmers in secrecy, but it starts to lose its grip the moment we [00:35:00] speak the truth out loud. Number three, resilience is not about powering through. It's about choosing to show up however imperfectly and doing the next right thing. Number four, you do not need permission to pivot. You can quit the job, change your mind, start something new even without a plan.

Number five, the thing you think is obvious, might be exactly what someone else needs to hear. Number six, you don't have to start big. Just start one sentence, one step, one whisper of an idea at a time. 

If today's episode moved you, I hope you'll go back and listen to past conversations with guests who have turned pain into purpose in their own way.

And if you want more stories, writing and reflections on life's hardest moments, life's joys, and what happens in between. Join me over on Substack at “Fein By Me.” And of course, if you haven't already, please rate and subscribe to this show wherever you listen to podcasts. That is the best way to help the show grow.

Thanks so much for being here. Have a great day.