Mastering Feminine and Masculine Dynamics with Christina Acker – Part 1

In this episode of You First: A Journey to Self, we kick off part one of a two-part series with Christina Acker, a feminine reawakening expansion coach. Christina, also known as "The Effortless Feminine" on Instagram, shares her insights on feminine and masculine energies, how they shape our relationships, and what it means to truly hold space for one another.

We discuss the common struggles women face when navigating these dynamics, from stepping into masculine energy to keep things together, to the importance of earning respect and grounding ourselves in emotional stability. Christina explains how women are natural multipliers—whatever energy we receive, we amplify. If you’re curious about creating a healthy balance of feminine and masculine energy in your relationships, this conversation is a must-listen.

Part two is coming next week, so stay tuned!

Connect with Christina-https://www.instagram.com/theeffortlesslyfeminine/

Ways to work with Christina- https://linktr.ee/christinaachkar

Need extra support from Maria? Join MUSE Energy, her exclusive women 's-only channel on Instagram, for more insights and inspiration! - https://www.instagram.com/direct/inbox/?thread_key=8628881520460159

For personalized 1:1 coaching, visit Maria’s website at mariafuentes.net or email her at info@mariafuentes.net for guidance.- https://mariafuentes.net/

Follow Maria on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/_maria.fuentes_/

Transcript

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Describe it this way. It's the being to the doing, right? So when you're inter feminine, you're getting your worth from who you are as a woman. You are not trying to, you're not looking outside of yourself, meaning achievements and goals and aspirations and climbing the ladder and making more money. Welcome to You First, a journey to self podcast, where we empower women to rediscover their true authentic selves and regain a personal power. If you are ready for a major shift, you've come to the right place. I am your host, Maria Fuentes, an expert in women's emotional mastery and self discovery. With a degree in psychology and nearly two decades of experience, I am passionate about addressing the challenges women face most. Self love, healthy relationships, and emotional awareness. I've had the privilege of coaching so many incredible women and witnessing their transformation through the methods we'll discuss on this podcast. This show is your weekly space to shift your perspective, find inspiration within, and heal in ways that feel true to you. I am so grateful you're here. Let's dive into this week's episode. Hello my beautiful muses and welcome to part one of a two part series with Christina Acker. She's a feminine reawakening expansion coach for women. And she really just embodies femininity. She's the effortless feminine on Instagram. And I'm so excited to have a conversation with her on today's part one. We're going to dive into defining what feminine energy is as, as well as masculine energy and going through some of the struggles that we encounter as women, also having a lot of self awareness and how these energies play into our romantic relationships. So I am so excited to have these two parts for you guys to really dive in and listen to. Part two is going to be even juicier. So stay tuned, that is going to come out next week. And let's dive right in. Hey Christina, thank you so much for being on my podcast. I'm so excited that we met. We met at the Powerhouse Women event. Oh yeah, incredible. Yeah, I love these events because we get to connect with other powerful women and I'm so excited to have this conversation because I think it's so important. We were just talking off camera about how women, first of all, don't even know what feminine masculine energies really are. And then once we become hyper aware of what being in our masculine is, we kind of push gears and we, we think that that's true. So thank you so much for being on here. Well, Thoroughware is super excited for this conversation. I feel like it's going to be a good one. Yeah. So, well, let's start, let's start with that. Let's define what is masculine energy and what's feminine energy. Yeah, it's a great question. It's so funny because a lot of women think they understand it or they, they have this preconceived notion of what feminine and masculine is, um, because of the boss babe culture and, and the, the wave of feminism that we're in right now and all that jazz and I'll get to that in a moment, but you know, really what feminine is, is the being to the doing. So, you know, it's feminine energy is when, so one of the best ways I can always, I can describe this is, you know, I think I can say fancy words, right? Like nurturing and loving and caring and, but also fierce and wild and beautiful and untameable, right? There's all these different words, right? They're the spectrum. So instead of using synonyms to describe the feminine, I like to just describe it this way. It's the being to the doing, right? So when you're inter feminine, you're getting your worth from who you are as a woman. You are not trying to, you're not looking outside of yourself, meaning achievements and goals and aspirations and climbing the ladder and making more money, right? That's all the doing, which we need those things. They're beautiful. But when a woman gets a massive amount of her worth from those things, that's when we start going into the wounded feminine, the wounded masculine. We're just full blown masculine where you don't even feel like yourself anymore. Um, and then, you know, on the vice versa for a masculine, the man, you know, men earn their masculine energy, meaning that they get, they obtain their worth from doing from the, from the forward energy. So think the best way to describe this too, is like, think of masculine energies, like the forward momentum where the feminine energy is just the B. Okay. It doesn't go any direction. It's just the B right. Does that, does that help a little bit? So beautiful, yes, I love what you described because you're right, there's a lot of words that kind of distracts, but it's more of a feeling too, right? And being conscientious of what that feeling feels like in your bodies. Yes. So what, first, like, let's also, now that we know what those mean, what got you into this work and what made you so passionate about helping other women kind of define this? Oh, that's a great question. So I, like many women, uh, a pivotal point in my life was a relationship. It was a fucking dude. And it was a, um, a situation that I was in where I was continuously, uh, attracting the same type of men where, you know, I have a very strong personality, very strong presence to myself. And I know this, it took me a while to like realize I'm not too much, right? Like, I know a lot of women think they're there too much or too little or not enough, right? There's all this. And so for a long time, I was attracting these passive men where I felt like they had a lot of potential. I became the fixer, right, which is a very common theme for women living in their masculine energy or predominantly from their masculine. And so I, I found myself in a bunch of relationships where I was running the show. I remember this. I wrote this in my journal. A lot of my friends will laugh at me saying this because this was the one thing I said often. I'm like, I just need a real man. I just need a real man. I would say that over and over and over right now. Where are the real men? Right? They're either taken gay. I don't even know where are they? Do they even exist? Is this been a fairy tale? And so I remember just saying that. And finally, um, the big relationship was almost three years, almost three years ago now. Wow. That's pretty cool. Um, and the pivotal point. For me as I was engaged to be married, I was engaged to be married. And this was the most toxic out of all of them. I don't even know. I look, keep a look back at your decisions and you're like, well, what was that? And so I didn't even go up. I went down. It was like, I don't even know what, and so I remember just thinking like, Hey, this was a night for whatever reason. I was being loved, bonded a lot. I mean, all the things, right. There were so many, I won't even get onto that show because that could be a whole episode itself, but. I woke up one day and I was, we were about 40 grand into the wedding and we were like really deep in the wedding. We were three months, 90 days away from, from walking down the aisle. I had designer dress in a row. I mean, it was the, we had the whole thing. It was 200 people guests. I mean, I was in it, right? We were in it. And I remember for the past, Probably even like 60 days before that, I was just getting this sick. I was sick. I just felt sick all the time. Like my somatic body was literally telling me like, you need to stop. You need to stop. And I kept ignoring my body and kept ignoring my body, ignoring the signs and just working with my head. It's okay. I'm in it. Like I can't disappoint people. You know, all the things we tell ourselves. And I finally woke up one day and I'm like, I am not, I am not happy. This is so toxic. He is, you know, it's like, it's like, you know what I mean? Some, a lot, I'd like to say a lot of women have been in a relationship like this, but it's like, you know, it's like really good and then really bad and then really good and then really bad. Right. And when it was good, it was like magical, but when it was bad, it was hell. And I thought that was love. I really, truly did. I'm like, well, you know, it's good a lot of the time. You know, and so what happened was I got with both my parents, I'll never forget this. I was just bawling my eyes out and I'm like, I don't know that I can do this. What do you think if I, if I, you know, if I end the engagement and I thought I was going to hear what, you know, you had all this, we're, we're, we're all this money and all the guests are coming, people have their flights. And my dad says something I'll never forget. He goes, baby, he goes, You need to be happy and you're not happy and we all see it. And he was like, you need to walk away. And that was like the permission that I needed. And so I walked away. And after that, I decided that I was no longer going to be looking outside of myself for what was going on. And women tend to do this, right? Like, well, it's him and all these men, they're just idiots. And there's no, you know, we tend to look up the, well, it was this, he was a narcissist, right? That word gets thrown around so much, right? He's bipolar. He's this, whatever. I'm not, there's, there's not that it's not truth to that, but. We can't control that, right? And when we do try to control that, we are, we are in our wounded masculine. And so I learned about these dynamics. I learned about this word. The first time I heard the word polarity, I'm like polarity, right? And I was starting to be a veterinarian at the time. So my brain is very like logical and science based. And so I was thinking to myself, like, okay, polarity, the opposite. I'm like, Oh my God, opposite. I, they, these men are totally opposite from me, but I'm not even happy being in this end of the spectrum, if that makes sense. So I learned about the feminine and masculine dynamics and what healthy polarity looks like. I'm like, Oh my God, it has nothing to do with them. I'm attracting these passive men. This is me. This starts with me. And I learned about, you know, all the different dynamics and it changed my whole life. It changed my entire life because I realized that I had to take responsibility. And that was the first time I'm like, this is me, this is a me thing, you know? And that work, you know, then I went on about a year and a half journey and 200 grand a year and a half journey later of. Um, really deep diving into breath work, energy work, energy clearing, uh, feminine masculine dynamics, uh, pretty much a quantum healing, pretty much every type of healing. I got obsessed with it and I didn't even know that I wanted to be a coach at the time. I just loved it so much, but I also was a coach at that time, helping women with their finances and making money have always been really great with, with wealth energetics. Um, and so that's how I got into this. It was, it was a relationship that just spun on into this healing journey and I'm like, you know that moment when you find something out and you're like, why does everybody know about this? Like, why does Is that a hundred percent? I know that. Yeah. And that's what it was. It was like this light bulb. Like, everybody needs to know about this. Like, this is, this would fix everything, you know? And, uh, yeah. And then I started my Instagram account and, you know, I was like, okay, we'll just see what this goes, you know, we'll see where it goes. And, uh, I couldn't have growing like 10, 000 followers in like three months. And it was fantastic. And I'm like, all right, there's something like there's women were just DM me. Like, this is me. This is me. I feel this. Oh my God. And, you know, even my, my, um, my almost, uh, future mother in law, you know, I helped her change her whole life. And now she's, she just met the guy of her dreams and they're about to get married and it's a whole thing. And it's like this. This energy is responsible for everything. It's responsible for everything. And it's the reason, it really does make or break a woman's happiness, so that's a long version of it. No, and I love it. And I didn't realize when we met, we didn't talk too long. We talked at dinner just shortly, but we have a very similar background, I think, in the sense of, it was always toxic relationships for me. I was actually married for seven years in a toxic marriage, kind of like you said. I stayed for the good times and ignored the bad times. The good times were enough to just keep me there a little longer, a little longer, a little longer. And that's why But he was a first like masculine energy. I had been introduced to. So before I had always had passive men and I thought he was a healthy masculine. And instead, he was a wounded one, but I didn't realize that until later, but it just mean, like you said, it reflected how I was feeling about myself and my own energy. And so I think I was more of my feminine with him at the beginning until he. Yeah. Started bringing up like his unhealthy masculine and I started feeling unsafe. My masculine energy came like rushing in. I had to be the leader. I had to, I was like, I'll control this. I will fix this. And so what happens when two, even if he's not in his healthy, like two masculine energies, we were just like fighting. Uh, it's like explosion. That was a bad, you know? So, and then after that, I attracted a very passive man. So then I stayed in my masculine and I liked it to be honest with you. I, at the moment I first liked it, I was like, I have control. He thinks I'm the most amazing thing in the world. That's his full sense of power. Yeah. It's a power struggle for sure. And so one day I was like, I don't want to have control anymore. I don't want to lead. I want to be led. Yeah. But you're right. We create those dynamics. And then there was in that relationship after my divorce, there was no coming back from that because that person was just more diseminent. And so I had to, just like you really sit with myself and say, why am I attracting this? What about me? So unhealthy that I'm looking for pretty much the opposite of me and creating this dynamics and then feeling so unhappy and so unheard, so unseen, so invalidated. And I went inwards. And like you said, when we go inwards, there's, it all changes. It Yeah. And same thing, I spend so much money, within a year and a half, I did any type of energy work, therapy, I went to like three, four therapists, like I was like obsessed with finding more about myself. And I think that's a beautiful thing, I think most women, once we start getting awareness, we're like, there's no going back, and we become even more powerful. Well, some women, you know, it's funny you say about awareness, everything. I mean, if you're not wildly aware, you cannot heal. It is literally impossible. Um, because everything starts with the awareness that's even happening in the first place. But a lot of women, I mean, I say a lot, but there are some women that will repress it, repress it, repress it, because that's why everything comes down to trauma healing. So really a huge foundation for my work is somatic trauma healing. Because the reason why I, you know, if you look at my life, I didn't have any big T trauma, right? I mean, I've had, I've had things happen to me that actually could be considered big T trauma, uh, which we won't get into, but I will say that if you look at my childhood, there was no big T trauma, right? There's there, my parents used to got divorced, but they had a really, really beautiful divorce. Like they loved each other. It just didn't work. And you know, they, they lived only a mile from each other. So we always got to see them. Like it was really beautiful. Right. And When you look back, you're like, I've like, I mean, somebody, you know, three years ago, four years ago said you had trauma. I'm like, no, I didn't. Uh, no, I didn't. Right. Cause this trauma, everyone thinks of trauma is like this big, massive thing that happens and it's not. And the trauma in my life was the way that I perceived feminine and masculine energy. It didn't feel safe. So like a lot of women can relate to this where the fathers and God bless them. They really do mean so well, but a lot of dads, they want to make their daughters tough, right? Tough, independent women. Right. But the problem is they don't show any love when they're being in their feminine. So I learned from a very young age that my dad gave me most of my love and attention and validation when I was doing and achieving and being in goal oriented and I was independent. I didn't need a man. My dad still says to this day, like, you know, you don't need a man. I'm so proud of you. Like, that's not, please stop. You know, I actually do really, you know, so it's like one of those things where, you Fathers don't realize that that's what's happening. Like they're, they're trying to create, they need to create the safety for us, but not within us. Would that make sense? Right? Like they're trying to like pass it down. But what happens is we're like, yeah, we don't need a man. He, we start getting our love from that. And then we realized, you know, then all of a sudden, you know, paired with the third wave of feminism and then with boss babe culture, which I think is one of the worst things that ever happened to women. I think it's beautiful, but it turned like feminism, it turned into something that was man, hating, and it's one of those things where. You know, I really, like that was a trauma for me, right? It was like this small thing. And then my mom isn't super in her, in, in her feminine as well. She's kind of like, she owns real business and all these things. So I didn't really know what the hell feminine was. Like a lot of women, I assumed that feminine was weak. and pass it and you didn't have boundaries and you let man walk all over you and you couldn't make your own money like there was just all these preconceived notions of what femininity was when really feminine is the exact opposite of those things. It's the most powerful energy a woman could ever embody. Actually, it's, you know, I have this whole theory that I think women are way more capable of running things than men. But the problem is, and I don't mean that from like, Oh, boss babe way. I just mean like we have a very innate power in us when we actually submit is coming from a powerful place in a relationship. Like I always tell my clients that are in relationships, go out and conquer the world. Go conquer the world. Go do your thing. Go be a boss babe. But when you walk in that door, you check that shit in and you become a little girl with your man. And you, you get cuddly and you get lovey and you go into your soft girl energy, right? Because you, that's what you want. And so these, these energies, there's all these energies at play here and women just think it's like so black and white, but it's not. It's incredibly vast and, and beautiful. Yeah. And that's so hard. It's funny, TJ and I, I'm engaged now and. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah. And he's in a very healthy masculine energy. He always has been. And that's new for me. So it's actually have to like bite my tongue a lot when he's like, do you need help? I'm like, yes. Can I do this for you? Yes. Like if you were in the past, I would have been like, no. And the other day I walked in the house and I was. I had, I'm creating a new business and I had like a lot to do that day. So I was in my masculine energy and I know like now I'm playing with these energies and I know when to take what and where and I left and I was running errands and I came home in that energy and I usually am better cause I'm, I work from home. So when he gets home, when I go to cook or I do whatever, I lean into my softness. I like, I know it's time to put my hat on, you know, like my doer hat on. Yeah. And in that energy, I remember him being like, are you okay? Like what's, he's like, you don't feel like yourself. And it took me a second and I was like, I'm fine. Like, I don't know. He even sent me and I tried to like fix what he was saying and I was like, Whoa, I was like, maybe I, okay, bring them in my math. You know, and I think that's a hard balance too, to like kind of figure out what those energies even mean and when we're bringing them up. I know seeing him in and let me know how this translates to your clients and how they work. A lot of us, because of that boss baby culture, we started emasculating men, even if they were maybe innately in there. masculine energy, we start kind of just like chipping away at their masculinity because you don't know how to put it down. Do you see that a lot with your clients? Oh yeah, all the time. And the thing is, like, you know, a lot of men, because they love us men, so a lot of, a man is a healthy masculine, he will 100 percent admit this, and you know, toxic, they tend not to, but men do everything for women. Everything. Men do everything for women. They, they go jobs. They want houses. They, if women didn't exist, men would do absolutely nothing. They just wouldn't. Like they do everything for women. We don't do everything for men. It's a very different thing. We have a lot of different priorities to our family, to our life, to our friends, to, you know, the three, um, life forces of the feminine is love, relationship, and connection. Right? And the masculine is purpose and drive and ambition. But those purpose, drive, and ambition is for the feminine to thrive. So it's a very interesting dynamic here. And so what I see a lot of my clients do is the very beginning of the relationship, they're like, Oh, he's, you know, they don't, they don't say mass things. They don't realize the dynamics that are playing out here, but though he makes me feel safe and, Oh God, he's so good and always protective. And I just, Oh, I love being with him. Right. And then they'll fall in love. And then later down the line, something will happen. And usually it is. The man, I don't want to say having a weak moment, but kind of like, I don't want to say that men are not allowed to have weak moments because that is by far, that is not the truth. But if he has enough of that, where he is not standing in his power and we lose faith in his power, we jump in our masculine without even realizing it. Again, I do not want to say that men are not allowed to have weak moments. Of course they are. We are the heart of the family. We are the heart of the world, of course you want that. We want to be able to help them through anything. But again, if they have enough of them and they're starting to show weakness in their ability to lead us, we will lose respect and it can happen very quickly. And so what happens is it really, I don't want to say it always starts because there's no absolutes in this, in this world. There just really isn't. So, you know, so I'll even sometimes catch myself saying it like, Oh, always, whatever I don't, it's never always, but a lot of the time that as well have noticed, we're like, the man will have a really bad hardship or he'll have something happen. He can't keep his shit together. He just can't. And is okay for a little bit, of course. But if it happens long enough and over a prolonged period, we'll lose our faith. Again, we, so naturally, women will test men, right? And we'll do this in all relationships. We don't realize we're doing it. And men should never test women. That is not a healthy thing to do. That is by society saying, Oh, is she this? Or, Oh, is she my ride or die? No woman should ever be a ride or die. Okay, why do you gotta die? Why do you gotta go through all this shit? You don't gotta, you know what I mean? No, like, but men, we, but we as women, we like, because we need to know that he can keep his shit together for the family. There's some shit went down, he's got our back. So we naturally will do this without even realizing we're doing this. And so what I see in my clients with their relationships is that the woman will naturally test the man in their weaker moment or for a prolonged period of time and he'll fail that test and he'll freak out or he'll get angry or he'll lose his shit, right? Women will naturally test a man's anger too because we want to know, should we bring our children around him? Now, by the way, this is all biological. It's all biological. We don't even, a lot of times we don't realize we're doing it. So we'll test his, his anger. Well, hey, can he be the rock? Cause the masculine's the rock. They're the ones that ground us. And if she's fucking ungrounded, then somebody has to hold the fort down. That's when we get, is this all making sense? Yeah. Yeah. And so that's what happened in my client's relationships that they'll test them. He'll fail, then the woman has a little step in her masculine, and then the dynamic gets switched and she won't take that power back. Now again, that's not in like a, this is, I'm the man in the house, I see a lot of men doing that. I'm the man, I should make the decisions. Like, no, you have to, masculinity is earned. You have to prove that you can actually hold us. Right? Hold the space for all the energy. It doesn't matter if it's just you and him, you and him and dogs, you and him and children. It doesn't matter. Can he hold the space for the energy in the house? Yeah, and I think there's, now that we're in the topic of love and relationships, I feel like there's such a big imbalance in society right now because men want that respect. Like this, like in a second without earning it, like you said, they want the woman to submit, they want them to put them, put them on a pedestal. But I didn't put my man on a pedestal right away. It had to be earned. You know, there was certain things that he had to do and vice versa. I earned it in a different way in his eye, right? Yeah. Men need, but I do believe that it's a balance and it's also a little given a little take, a little given a little take. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And like one misconception that I would love to bust right now is that Men are the only ones that lead, they don't. We lead, we lead in so many ways, right? Men are not good with their emotions, at least if they're, they're healthy masculine. Usually they're just, they're okay. They're good with their emotions. So we really lead that in that way, right? We help, we, we help them expand. So women are multipliers. The feminine energy is a multiplier. We multiply everything. And you know, there was a lot of like Steve Harvey things going around. Like he said that, you know, women are multiplied. It's a very true thing. We take whatever you give us and we multiply. You give us stress. We multiply it. Right? You give us love, we multiply it. That is the beauty of a feminine woman, a woman in our healthy feminine. And so, you know, I, I always, as I used to work primarily with men in dating coaching, I loved it. Um, but I found my impact was more for women, but I used to tell men all the time, if you don't like the way your wife is treating you, Or, you know, you don't like the relationship, you need to look at how you're treating her. You need to look at what's happening. What stressors is she carrying? What too many things is she carrying right now where she can't give you the attention, the love, the nourishment that you're really craving from her. You know, there's an energy that she's taking from you because you're not leading. And so that's what I see a lot is that women were like, you know, he's leads everything. No, baby, were you not leading as well? So, you know, I always say, I like to say this, like women, we actually have the ability to tap into like what I call the ether, the unknown. We have the ability to tap into the 5d, uh, you know, four or five 60 with a boy type of all the dimensions men do too. Cause they have feminine as well, but it's the feminine that taps into those dimensions, not the masculine. Right. And men. They are primarily 3D. That's what makes them so driven and good and goal ambitious and house and, you know, I lead, I lead with a 3D. We lead in all the other ways. So that's a really great way to look at it if, if women are curious, like, wait, I lead, how do I lead? You know? Right. I tell my girls all the time, like, you lead with your emotions. Yes. When you understand yourself, they, they will do what you do. So if you come to them, Hey, I feel a certain way. Can we do this? I really love when you do that. I don't really love when this happens. They'll start communicating that way. I think women on the opposite spectrum, like we were just talking about how men want that respect without being earned, women, we want our men to be so emotionally intelligent and, and give us all the things that we're not willing to give ourself when we're in the hyper masculine energy, but we have to give that to ourselves first when we're so grounded, because that's our grounding. Right. Like, and they feel that when we're emotionally unstable and we're yelling, I've been there, I've, I've been so toxic. The kishnips, yelling and screaming, throwing up with me. If I'm emotionally unstable, a man doesn't also feel safe to bring his emotions and his heart to the table. He won't ever open up with us, I believe, you know, you're not giving them that emotional stability as well. Yeah, absolutely. And that's that brings you brought up so many good points. So many things just came to my head. So you know, the feminine has so many different flavors and facets, right? So many different ones. And yes, there are some times where you're going to be screaming and going crazy, you know, whatever. And as long as it's not directed at him, then you're actually still in your healthy feminine. So a woman that is just like stable all the time, like, I don't want to say that, well, I don't want to get this misconstrued. It's like a woman who's stable all the time, actually she's probably repressing a lot of emotion. Because we are, We live on a 28 day cycle, a man lives on a 24 hour cycle, right? So we are, we are literally a different woman every goddamn week, you know? And so it's one of those things where when we start honoring that, that's when we actually, like I said, as long as it's not directed at him, those tantrums, those tears, those whatever, that's a very real and normal part of being a woman, but in society, we're not told that is normal. We're not, we don't make room for that, you know, healthy energy. Um, you know, and I think that is a really big part to know is that one of the most beautiful things a man can do is take space for a woman's emotions, right? Again, not directed, it's directed at him. That's, that's, you know, that's more of the unhealthy way, but you know, women are just so like, I just fell in love with women in the straightest way possible. I just love, I love women. I love them because I think we are so beautiful. We are so intricate and we have so many different varieties and I said flavors. And I think one of the most. Tragic things that's happened in our society. Is the fact that we repressed it because we think that's what normal is, you know, like you just said right now, like I've been all, and I don't know if you meant like you were directing at him or you were just like being emotional. Yeah. Now I'm emotional. Like I cry all the time, but before I would direct it towards them because I needed that. Yeah. Yeah. So like it is so totally. And it's so beautiful when a man, I think what every woman truly wants is to be able to be her truest feminine self. True. Just all the things, right. Be all the things. The woman is not one thing. We're all the things. And a man can hold space for that and go, baby, I got you. I don't care if you're angry. I don't care if you're, you're fucking losing your shit. I don't care if you're having a bad period. I don't care what, what do you need from me right now? I got you. You you alone? Awesome. You want me to call you? Awesome. What do you need? Because what happens, a lot of men right now, they take that personally. Right. And they're like, you know, their, her emotions mean something about me and the way I'm treating her. Right. And a lot of, a lot of men can't hold space. They weren't taught. Femininity is not taught. Masculinity is. Masculinity has to be taught. And because where it's not, they're usually taught by their fathers and the way that the father treats the mother, they get, they watch it, but because we don't live in a society where that's normalized, right. It's very normal for women to be inter feminine. We can do it instantly. Very instantly. Men, they have to be taught that's why masculinity is earned and femininity is protected. Yeah. I love that. That's such beautiful. Like, I love how you presented that because that is so beautiful. And you're right. We want, I think at the end of the day, we all want to be just held, but I, I truly believe that that's, that's even playing with our own energies then, I believe. And you tell me what you think, because this is like concepts that I've, I've developed within myself. Is I have to feel it, so I have to be in my feminine energy, feel my emotions, process it. And even if he's seeing the messiness of it, I have to let him know. It's not you, there's, I feel triggered, I feel this, this past thing happened, my friend did this, my business is doing that. So if he knows and it takes away the responsibility. But then I also have to take action, right? Like I have to tell him, Hey, and then that's more masculine energy I need, like letting them know what we need as well. Right. And I love that we're in the topic of relationships because he said that's so important for us women. And for me, balancing those two has been so important in the past, I would just, I needed to be rescued. Right. I had that princess mentality. I just wanted to come be rescued and I don't want to feel the pain. Now I'm like, I need to just go walk because I need to process my emotions. Right. Or he, I mean, he sees me cry, we make a joke because we, he has a daughter and I tell my sub daughter when she cries, it's crazy because she doesn't like crying right now. She feels like it's wrong. And I tell her, I'm like, I cry at least once a day. And I try to make her sure, make sure she knows that it's not her. That part of you? Yes. I mean, she's seen me cry. That's definitely a guy. I make sure she knows. And TJ knows too. Like when he sees me cry, he's like, what do you need from me? Like now he just knows to ask me, what do you need? Versus like the responsibility being there, right? And it's just a lovely and being in our softness is hard I know that you've said that you've lied a lot more with your masculine in the past for me that It takes me like a minute to be like be soft. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to cry It's okay to let them know how you feel. It's okay Like that takes if you've gone one way your whole life that takes more effort I think than to be like in the past it was easier for me to just be mad annoyed Explosive put it on him. That was easy. Yeah You Yeah. Yeah. Oh, totally. Absolutely. Nice. This is why somatic healing is so, is so important because we, so, you know, I actually, one day I would even love to like work with you on that too, like if that's something that keeps being like showing up in your life is because actually healing does not have to be hard. So if you notice like, yes, at the very beginning you're getting adjusted to new energies, your body is in court, you know, feeling different things, you're actually allowing yourself to feel different things, right? But if it keeps showing up, even after a year where I'm like, I have this firm belief that anybody can be, I don't, I never say fully healed because things are always going to come up. Right. But you can heal your foundations and your roots and the main issues that made you behave the way you behave or the different energy that you've embodied in literally 90 days. Literally 90 days. Like, it can happen so quickly, and I would even say less, because for me to actually have it in a few weeks, but I don't head first, and like, I really allow myself to just be super vulnerable, and that's hard for a lot of women. Uh, but again, I was in a very vulnerable place going through a breakup, so I feel like I had like a little bit of a, uh, like the door was already open, so to speak. Um, But I will say that, like, you know, this whole, I don't wanna explain this, like, when you're talking about a woman healing, the feminine is the healing energy. Like, the feminine is the healing energy of the world. So it happens for us really, really fucking quickly. And to a point where, like, we resist it. Like, that's the only reason why, why healing happens, uh, uh, like, longer than it needs to is because we resist it. We're literally like, oh, I don't want to feel that right now. Oh, okay, I'm gonna go eat. Okay, I'm gonna go exercise. Okay, I'm gonna go drink. Okay, I'm gonna go outside. Oh, we like, I'm gonna go watch TV, right? We are literally allowing ourselves to not feel things and that's why healing takes so long. Like, I literally will say to my clients, like, if you want to work with me, you have to be ready that we're gonna deep dive in. Like, the second I feel you resisting something, I'm gonna point it out and we're gonna stop that, right? That's why I don't open energetic containers with everything is somatic healing. So this is a reason why I don't like talk therapy. Um, I incorporate some of it in my, in my healing, but women don't do well with talk therapy because it's all the head. It's all masculine. Right. And. When a woman comes in my world and she's like, I've been in therapy for a decade, I've been in therapy for three years, like, you know, usually what happens in therapy is she feels good because she's being seen and heard when she hasn't been in a while, but then she'll go back because nothing really got healed. We cure everything in our bodies. So what I would even love for you to do is like the next time that comes up for you is to stop and just go, where am I feeling in my body right now? Yeah, I think it, so I should have clarified it. It was part of the beginning with him. Oh. It was easier because we did a lot of distance for a year. Wow. Oh, yeah. It was like the motion that had already been processed. Like doing it by myself felt I had already created that safety nets with myself. Yeah. Distance or even in person every once in a while. Cool. Like that felt fine. Like I had already created that safety. When we were together, whoo, like my whole body was like, Now I'm in front of him, and now it's really tense, especially when we first moved in. Now we've lived together for like three months, and now it feels, because it's also like you said, I had to make sure that he was safe. Can I come to this, you know, and enough times I was like, Oh, now it's just like second nature. I talked to him, I let it like all be, but at the beginning I did feel that resistance in my body. I felt like nervous. I felt like, what's he going to think? Is he, am I going to say things right? Do I even know what I'm feeling? You know? So I, I think for me was. And really, we know that, like, in relationships you heal the most because you're confronted with things that you otherwise wouldn't be confronted with. It was easier even alone healing with myself because it's just me and my journal, it's me and my breathe. I love that you just said that too because so many women think that like when they get into a relationship that oh I've healed so like it's going to be so easy or whatever. No, you'll still get mirrors. You will still get mirrors to all of your shit. I'm a firm believer that no one can truly heal the foundations of what happened with them until they get into a healthy relationship. It's not the toxic relationships that actually, uh, heal you, or not heal you, but force you to heal. It's actually the healthy ones that will show you the mirrors to what's really going on and where you don't feel like you can fully be loved and nourished and taken care of, you know, and they don't really, really, like, show those. That's why the, the, um, The method that I do is her, uh, it's the, her method. It's healing, expansion, refinement. We will always be in refinement a hundred percent of the time. Like I can help a woman heal all of her shit, all the, all the roots, all the traumas, all the things that made her have her belief systems, um, and the energy and the blocked energy. And then expansion is like when she really comes into the woman that she's meant to be. Right. But then. No one just like walks away going with all of the best of my life, like there's still things that are going to come up, right? You get into that relationship. Uh, you have that, that, you know, level up in your business or that level down, whatever, whatever that looks like for you. You have, you already have a child, right? Whatever happens and it's going to trigger you in different ways. It doesn't mean you have to go heal again. It means you have to refine what you already healed to the tune and the frequency that you are now living on. Right? Because if you're expanding, you're changing and your body, like your cells are not the same. You're just expanding in a different way. And I love that. And I guess I want to end it with that now because it's just part one and I want to end it with part two and let's talk about how to balance these energies too and how to tap into your femininity more when should we be tapping into our masculine energy part two is going to come back and we're going to come back with all of these how to's right now that we've defined kind of where we were staying and what these energies mean. Let's come back. And thank you so much for joining me today. I can't wait. Awesome. As we come to the close of this episode, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude and admiration for you taking the time to show up for yourself as an act of self love. And if this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit from it. And also, if you love this episode, please rate and review us. 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