Sexual Assault Survivor Turned Lawyer on Healing and Knowing Your Rights

Whether your abuse happened last year or decades ago—your voice matters.
You have every right to heal, to be heard, and to explore justice. Start where you are. Gather your support. Know your rights. And most of all, remember this:
you are not alone, and you were never meant to carry this by yourself.

In this episode, attorney and survivor, Alreen Haeggquist also shares her surprising and empowering take on the recent Sean “P. Diddy” Combs case—and what it means for survivors everywhere watching high-profile abusers face the courtroom. 

RESOURCES

Alreen’s Book = Fired Up: Fueling Triumph from Trauma — on Amazon

Alreen’s Law Firm = Quist and Eck, LLP — Serving clients across California in:

• Sexual harassment and assault
  
  
• Gender discrimination
  
  
• Retaliation and unequal pay
  
  

Website: www.Alreen.com / Instagram @Alreen

Mandi Pratt, Host / Resilience Speaker

Website: AwareAndPrepared.life (See How You Score on the Intuition Quiz)

LinkedIn: Mandi Pratt

Instagram: @WomenAwareAndPrepared

Transcript

 Hey, brave one. Welcome to the Aware and Prepared Podcast. I'm your host, Mandi Pratt, trauma-informed, resilient speaker, domestic violence victim advocate, and narcissistic abuse survivor. Here we keep it real with true crime stories and real world strategies to prevent emotional and physical harm. My guests and I share a mix of insight and survivor grit, all to help you feel safer, trust yourself more deeply.

And live with greater peace and power. Let's trade fear for freedom and step into the peace that you deserve.

 So glad you're back here with me on the Aware and Prepared Podcast today. I have a very special guest with us. She is a lawyer and she has a crazy story of her own. Alreen Haeggquist wakes up each day with a fervent passion to advocate for women who suffer from sexual abuse, harassment, or discrimination. Re's father was a terrifying presence who subjected her to sexual, physical, and verbal abuse.

Despite knowing her mother remained silent. Darkness loomed within Alreen, leading to depression and multiple suicide attempts from fear and shame, she stayed silent, never telling a soul, which is typical victim behavior. Motivated by the pains of her childhood. Alreen became a lawyer in order to stand up for victims of abuse.

She founded her own firm, Haeggquist and Eck, LLP in San Diego in 2008 as a lawyer. With 21 years of experience, she has recovered millions of dollars for clients in cases involving sexual harassment, discrimination, retaliation, and wrongful termination. Unwavering commitment to not influence to exempt anyone from the of society. Her core message is, as a society, we need to break the silence and help women stand up to their abusers. In 2023, Irene broke her silence and published her own story in the book Fired Up. Fueling triumph from trauma. So today we look forward to having a conversation with her and I mentioned a couple things that might be a bit triggering, but I don't think that we'll be going too much into her story.

We're focusing on the work that she does now. So happy to have you here and let's dig in.

We are back and Alreen, we are here to welcome you in to the family basically here of the Aware and Prepared Podcast. And we just love having you hearing your story and excited for what we're gonna discuss today. Thanks. Thank you so much for having me. Yes. I want our listeners to hear from you, just a, a quick background as to where you got, where you are today and why.

Yeah, sure. So I am a woman's rights attorney here in San Diego. I have my own firm and we're about a team of, um, 19 people. And we specialize in suing, companies and individuals for sexual harassment, sexual assault in the workplace, and by institutions as well as, you know, pay inequity, gender discrimination, and retaliation claims.

And I've been practicing for 23 years. My firm was founded 17 years ago, and I have a passion for really, leveling the pa playing field, right? I don't think people with power and money should be able to get away with, violating the rules of law. And what we have decided as ACI society is what's acceptable behavior.

So, um, how did I get into it? Well, my background, I was, um, sexually abused as a child, as well as abused by my father in various other ways. Um, and never talked about it, never let it out. And, you know, thought when I went away for college and law school, I had gotten over it and I had healed myself and was, you know, had nothing to complain about anymore.

Um, but it came up in a lot of different ways. I suffered from PTSD, it affected my relationships. It was affecting. How I was showing up for my daughter that I just gave birth to. Um, and as well as a lot of physical symptoms that were showing up in my life as a result of the trauma. And so, despite my best efforts to ignore it and put it aside and say that I was over it, it, it wasn't going away.

And so I started therapy. I did various forms of, different healing modalities because I wanted to feel better. And at that time, you know, I didn't know I. What I was experiencing was as a result of what I experienced as a child. But, you know, after many years and, and going through it, came to realize how it's all connected, and how I really needed to address, um, and come out with, you know, what had happened to me if I really wanted to heal myself.

So, um, I did that through therapy and then in the um, fall of 23, I published a book called Fired Up Feeling Triumph from Trauma. That was the first time I let out the secret that I had been abused by my dad. Prior to that. I. Um, held it in, kept it a secret and just let it torment me. For a number of years.

And the reason for me letting out and writing the book was because I wanted other women to know that once you release it, once you talk about it, once you start speaking up, whether it be in a journal to other people, to a therapist, by a book filing a lawsuit, whatever form you decide to go in. To let it out.

That's really the only time you're gonna be able to start healing. And the more you keep it in, the more you are allowing, you know, the abuse to continue to victimize you and traumatize you. So that was the reason for my book. I wanted women to know that um, there is a way to speak out and there is a way to find your voice and, you know, how are you gonna do it.

And then the benefits of doing so, right? And what comes after you come out, and how empowered you feel and how this, like, weight gets lifted. And so that was the reason for writing my book. Because from my own experience I could share it as well as, you know, the countless women I represent that go through that same process of, you know, not wanting to say anything, but then realizing once they do, you know, um, how much better they are because of it.

Right, right. And I'm so sorry that you went through that. Um, thank you so much for using your past to help people now. And I resonate a lot with what you were saying about, going through your story and I have my own crazy story. And you get through it and then you go, whoa, whoa. Like, that was pretty gnarly.

Right? But then it takes a while to kind of. Process that even though it happened a long time ago and things come back up and especially your body really, holds a lot of that trauma, so I'm glad to hear that you got a lot of counseling. I did too. Um, but it still takes a while, so, just wanted to acknowledge that for you and for our listeners.

So thank you so much again for your work. And I love how your passion is to level the playing field. So the recent, story with, you know, Sean Diddy Combs, which we've heard so much about now in, um, the summer of 2025. What do you say to people now who saw that and saw how somebody liked that?

Um, so Rich and powerful was able to get away with so much so it's already so difficult for victims to come forward. How can we kind of re-empower people and encourage them to still come forward? I mean, I think we have to look at, you know, not what the jury didn't find right. But also what the jury did find, and all the women that came forward and stood, stood up to somebody that was rich and famous and powerful, and didn't let that come in their way.

And now I think the world knows who he is, even though the jury didn't find mm-hmm. Guilty of all charges. The world knows the person that he is and he has to carry that. And so I'm really proud of all the survivors that stepped forward and made their voices heard. Yes. And didn't, you know, back away from it, despite the fact that who was on the other side.

Great. Yeah, that's such a good point. As you mentioned, I mean, there's. Strength in numbers, right when we come forward with the story. And like you have, and then all of the people ca who came forward with his, you know, having more people speak out on that and not be silent, um, as much as you can.

As you mentioned, you know, people go through PTSD after things like being abused. Um, so everybody's at different levels, but it's so important to get, uh, that support and to get that community Right. Exactly. And you know, for the fact that, you know, these women stood up to pt, you know, there's gonna be a next group of women, whoever the person might be, who, who knows that they're gonna be able to stand up and have the strength to do it because somebody before them did it.

Probably 20 years ago. You know, the Me Too movement has really changed women coming forward. Um, and so I think people should be proud of that, like knowing that they're not alone. And by you stepping up, you're giving somebody else the courage to do the same. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I'll speak to people who are, you know, generations.

You know, in my own family, and they'll talk about things that happened and you're just like, what? Oh my gosh. People really did not talk about that back then. It was just like this hidden thing that they didn't talk about. So like you mentioned, yes, like we've come so far and I love that,

we are gonna be silent and that people do come together and speak up. And what would somebody who. Maybe, I mean, you're a lawyer and you're helping people with this exact issue, so what is the process that somebody would go through if, let's say this, something happened to them, you know, years ago, and they think like, oh, I can't come forward with it now.

It's been too long, or I don't have the support. What would you say to those people? I always think it's really powerful for, for you to know your rights, right? Know what your rights are before you dismiss that there's nothing you can do about it, right? And so that's why I always think getting advice from a lawyer that, um, handles these claims is a good place to start.

So you know, you know what your rights are because that's really powerful. It's very empowering to know. Um, that what the person did was wrong and you actually have recourse, and then you get to decide whether you wanna take recourse or not, right? So at least you know what your options are.

I think that's really important. I think it's two very important, to gather your team to help you. Like you don't have to do this alone. And whether it be, you know, your lawyer and your therapist and your friends. You know, somebody at church, whoever it might be, but gather your team and your people that are gonna support you.

And at times you're gonna have to let go of people who are unsupportive of you coming forward. Um, and I think that's really important too. Just, you know, when you're ready to, to, to take a stand. Or to help yourself or to heal yourself. And you have the person that's holding you back, telling you, no, you can't do it.

You shouldn't do it. It's not for you. You know, maybe that person needs a little break for a little while because there's plenty of people that are gonna be there to support you and are gonna be really proud of what you're doing. Definitely. So know your rights and gather your team

when you're, when you're finding out your rights, I mean, we can remember too that we're just gathering the information, right?

So you can always decide you don't want to do that or whatever. You're just gathering your options, right? Exactly. Knowledge of power. You're just gathering information so that you can make a good informed decision. Exactly right. And then gathering your team. I like how you said that can be from anywhere.

It can be professionals, it can be friends, it can be family. And so, so often we find that certain people just can't be on that team. Um, everybody's coming from different life experiences. Maybe something happened to them. And they feel like that's re-triggering and they can't go there. You never know what the story is, but like you said, it's so important to find the people who can stand with you through that.

Um, I love that. Thank you. And is there any other advice that you might give them as their deciding, you know, what they want to do? I always also tell people like to take inventory for all that you've already done, right? We're so dismissive of, you know, I can't do it. I'm not powerful enough, I'm not strong enough, I'm not capable, whatever.

It might be all the, you know, kind of the negative self-talk that we find ourselves in. But, you know, take inventory of all the wonderful things you've already done. You know, whether it be giving birth to a child, you know, or moving to the city you've always wanted to live in, or buying a house or, you know, um.

Giving back to charity, whatever it might be. Think of all the great things you've already done at this point in your life, and then remind yourself that you have the power, to do more and to help yourself now in this next chapter. Exactly. I love that. Taking an inventory of what you've already done. I literally do this.

So I printed out a couple different points, um, for myself because it's easy to go with that negative self-talk, especially when you had abuse in your past. So it's important to put out those reminders to ourselves, um, just to remember, Hey, you know, I made it through that, so don't forget that. Yeah.

Exactly. Um, and then, you know, lastly, I think, you know, focusing on the why, you know, why is this important to you? Why do you wanna come forward? Why do you wanna change? Um, and, and keeping that in in mind as you go forward, right? For me, it was, I wanted to be, you know, a better mom or a mom to my daughter that I never had, and I didn't know how to get there.

I knew I needed something in me, in my life to change, in order for me to show up for her and be present for her. So that was really a motivator for me to start therapy and start doing the work. And it's not easy or fun, right? Like that's not totally fun doing it. Um, but then it becomes a high when you start feeling better from it, right?

Like each step that you take and you feel the effects of it. You feel yourself changing, you then want more of it, and so Exactly. Going back to the reason why you're doing it. Exactly. Because what's the alternative, right. Just stay stuck it is a difficult thing, you know, and it's like difficult versus difficult.

Stay in the stuck, icky thing or, you know, move through it and get the support. So I love that how you remind us why remember your why, and that's the purpose that then moves you forward. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I love it. Awesome. And so you are in San Diego, uh, which is my hometown. Love it. So, oh yeah.

That's awesome. I grew up in, um, my dad was in the military, so we lived on Camp Pendleton a couple different times. Um, so we grew up like all over, around there. Okay. Oceanside area. Yeah, so I know San Diego very, very well. So you help people from San Diego. Can you help people that aren't by you or, yeah, I help people all across the state of California.

So I'm licensed here in California and I handle cases all across California, not just San Diego. Yeah, that's awesome. That's good to know. And I'll be sure to drop everything in the show notes, all the links. That's amazing that. Created your own firm? Yes. 'cause I wanted to create the culture that I wanted and represent the people that I wanted.

So, and the one that I worked at was great, um, and it gave me a lot of great experience, but, um, I wanted to create my own ceiling or I didn't want a ceiling put on me, I guess. Right. And what is the name of your firm? It's called Qui. Great. We will drop that link into the show notes so when people are listening, they can go click on the show and then they scroll down and see all of the links

As we kind of finish up, I just wanted to really encourage people, um, if you've gone through something like this, and we mentioned, you know, the first part was knowing your rights, getting a team, taking an inventory of what you've already done, and then, you know, really knowing your why and your purpose.

But for those who have a hard time, like taking that first step, what would you recommend? I recommend writing a note or a journal to yourself, right? Like sit down and just write out to yourself whether it might be what happened. Or it might be why you're doing this or what you're feeling inside what you wanna change, and you're just writing it to yourself.

Nobody's gonna see it. You could even write it and throw it away if you want, or burn it. Mm-hmm. Um, but I really think it's important to get out, you know, all the thoughts that are like ruminating and circling in your mind. Mm-hmm. And that's really gonna propel you to then take the next step. So if you're stuck, I always encourage people to, to write it down to, to themselves in a journal.

Yeah. I would imagine, gosh, when writing your own book, that must have been. Like journaling on a whole nother level. Yes, it was. And what's been interesting, you know, that I did that, um, it was published in the fall of 23 and since then I've been, you know, appearing on podcast and guest speaking, um, and writing something and then being able to verbalize the abuse.

And what happened to you is a whole other level. Of letting it out and speaking out. And the only thing I can say, and again, this is from my own experience of what I have felt and then seeing it from my clients, is like, it just like this weight gets lifted that you don't even know it's possible when you're going through it.

Right. But then when it's like has passed, you're like, whoa, I didn't realize how much I carried, you know, for all of these years and how free I feel now by not holding it anymore. Right. And not worrying about whether people know or don't know, or I'm gonna talk about it or not talk about it. It just doesn't.

Hold that same power anymore than it did for so long. Exactly. Exactly. That's awesome. And what is the name of your book again? It's Fired Up Fueling Triumph from Trauma. And can people find that like on Amazon or, yep. Amazon's a great spot to find it. And then they can find me on my website@re.com.

A-L-R-E-E n.com. Perfect. Awesome. Well, thank you for being here with us and giving us that boost of empowerment. And then, also great to know a lawyer in San Diego who can help us with these things. Um, it's not just, uh, sexual assault that you cover. Right. What else do you cover again, gender discrimination, retaliation, unequal pay, um, and then sexual harassment in the workplace.

Okay, that's great. So I hope everybody will keep your information thank you so much ire, for being here with us. We really appreciate your time and what you're doing, so thank you. My pleasure. Thank you again for having this platform. You're welcome.

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