Aware And Prepared

Use Your Senses to Find Joy in Chaos | Simple Steps to Feel More Joy

• Mandi Pratt • Season 4 • Episode 5

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0:00 | 22:44

SUMMARY

Discover practical ways to foster joy, especially when the world feels chaotic. Helen Thompson, a seasoned life coach, shares actionable tips on using your senses, managing feelings, and cultivating more joy regardless of external circumstances.


Key Topics / Timestamps

02:37 - Sensory Triggers for Joy 

03:16 - How the 5 Senses Create Joy in Everyday Life & Examples

05:29 - Our relationship with joy & how thoughts influence our experience 

06:50 - Overcoming Guilt Around Feeling Joy in Hard Times

07:55 - Benefits of Joy: Resilience, Clarity and More 

09:22 - Holding multiple feelings: sadness, anger, and joy simultaneously 

10:47 - Happiness vs. Joy: Key Differences Explained 

11:30 - Reframing Shame & "Shoulds" Around Feeling Joy 

12:22 - Guilt as Unprocessed Sadness: Neuroscience Insights 

13:35 - Using gratitude as a tool to cultivate joy daily 

15:01 - Noticing "glimmers" of joy through small, intentional moments 

17:20 - Helen's "Joy Guide" Resource Overview 

22:00 - Negativity Bias & Intentional Practices for Positive Emotions  

23:33 - Self-Care as a Gift to Others, Not Just Yourself

25:06 - Overcoming Your Brain's Default to Negativity


RESOURCES


Your Joy Guide – Download Helen Thompson's Joy Guide to cultivate daily joy

Life Coach Helen Thompson – Weekly Love Notes


Connect with Helen Thompson:


Connect with Mandi:


The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

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 Hey, brave one. Welcome to the Aware and Prepared Podcast. I'm your host, Mandy Pratt, trauma-informed, resilient speaker, domestic violence victim advocate, and narcissistic abuse survivor. Here we keep it real with true crime stories and real world strategies to prevent emotional and physical harm. My guests and I share a mix of insight and survivor grit, all to help you feel safer, trust yourself more deeply.

And live with greater peace and power. Let's trade fear for freedom and step into the peace that you deserve.

 I am so excited here to have my friend Helen Thompson with me. So I've known her for quite a few years now. So I wanted to bring Helen in today. She is a certified life coach. So Helen, thank you for being here. And please tell us more about yourself.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. 

You are welcome. 

So, yeah, I've been into personal development and self-help as long as I can remember.

Um, even as a college student back home in Sweden, I spent my. Uh, little college money that I had, uh, on, uh, personal development books. But it wasn't until I hired a life coach in my own life to help me work with, uh, uh, work-life balance as a professional photographer that I realized. That life coaching, that is my calling.

So at this point I've coached close to 6,000 coaching sessions with thousands of people from all over the world, and I've never looked back. Uh, so now I'm focusing primarily on helping women. Uh, navigate all things midlife because there is a lot to deal with. We sometimes talked about this Yes. Right. In midlife.

So, um, so that they can create a life that they truly want to and feel like the best is yet to come. 

Mm-hmm. Love it. Yeah. Thank you. And I love your weekly emails that you send out. And when you sent one of your last ones, it really stood out to me. You were talking about joy, if you would share with us what you said in that email, um, that I loved.

And your emails are always like so short and to the point and they give you something wonderful to think about. So can you share with us what you said on that one email? 

Yeah, so I was talking about, um, how to cr create joy with our senses.

So it's something that I explored with a client of. So how to use your sight, your hearing, your like, uh, sense of smell, your touch to create that feeling of joy. So I gave an example of, uh, my favorite place being Sierra Nevada. Uh, because all of the sensory inputs, uh, when, when we're there hiking and camping and, uh, but then garden centers, uh, being my second favorite when we're not spending time in Sierra Nevada.

Yeah. Where you have that sense of the, the greenery and the flowers, and you have the light because usually garden centers are very bright and light. Even inside you can hear the birds. Um, you can see and touch the textures of the different plants. And there's also colors. And so that was like just an example of how we can use our senses, and I've never really thought about that, but that's why I love going there because all of those sensory inputs that I personally love create that sense of joy.

So I invited the reader to explore that for themselves. 

Mm-hmm. I love that because a lot of times, you know, we can't go hiking in the Sierra Nevada Right. But we can drive down the street to go to the garden center. 

Right, exactly. And even explore, like what senses is it that you like, right? I think a lot of us enjoy nature and outdoors and places like garden centers, but what are those personal things for you?

Because they might also be different from person to person. 

Mm-hmm. Yeah, a hundred percent.

Yeah. So census is like one way of creating joy, but also it's like the relationship that you have with joy, right?

So I think a lot of us, um, think that sure, joy is like one of those nice to have things. But I don't have time to think about that right now, or I have more important things to do, or oh my gosh, how can I feel joyful when others are suffering and with everything that is going on in the world. Mm-hmm. And so.

To also become aware of that relationship and those thoughts that we have to joy, because some of those might block you if you walk around thinking that, you know, I can't feel joy when the world looks like it does. Right. You're probably not even gonna think about. Ways of creating joy for yourself.

Mm-hmm. Because you're already in the mindset of, no, this, I shouldn't be doing this. Right. Or I don't have time for it. When, even if that's, we can technically argue that you have a lot on your plate, but when you walk around thinking, I don't have time for that. Mm-hmm. Or it is not even gonna be in your mind.

Right. You're not gonna develop that mm-hmm. Relationship. 

Right. Yeah, that's true. And I know that a lot of people are having a hard time right now. With, you know, all that's going on with the world and it's so chaotic right now and mm-hmm. We have a hard time with joy. Like, of course we want to feel joy, but a lot of times we don't because of what's happening.

So how do you balance all of those feelings like with joy, and how can you feel joy without feeling guilty? 

Yes. Yeah. Um, no, that's a great question. Um, so I think part of it comes down to realizing that we can hold both. It's like one of my favorite words is, and mm-hmm. Like, we can feel sad and. We can also have moments of joy.

Mm-hmm. Or we can feel angry and also feel compassion. Mm-hmm. Right. We can hold, um, several feelings at once. Mm-hmm. Or at least kind of make a little dance with it, where you go in and out of those feelings. 

Right. 

So. The thing with joy is that yes, if there is a lot of suffering in the world and a lot of it, most of it I would suggest we can't do anything about.

Sure. Um, how might it be helpful if you can, um, instead of just focusing only on that suffering, actually find respite and find joy in your life. Research showing like what joy is helping with, um, in terms of your mental health and physical health even. Mm-hmm. Right? Like it supports your physical health.

It helps you become more resilient, which is something that is. Good to to be in this world right now, right? Mm-hmm. It enhances your mental capacity. Mm-hmm. Uh, strengthens your relationships and boost your productivity, bring, brings you more into the presence and all those things are also gonna help, um, when we are seeing what we're seeing and when we wanna show up in helping others and, and being in relationship with others.

Mm-hmm. So, so there are benefits to actually being able to feel joy. Also then just of course feeling compassion and sadness and anger sometimes of what's going on in the world. Mm-hmm. That we can hold both. 

Right. And 

remember why joy is also important. 

Yeah. And I think too, just moving through as we move through our own space and our own cities and 

mm-hmm.

Running errands and stuff like that, if we all were just. You know, sad and angry like that makes things so much worse. I know for myself, when I've seen, I've been out and about and even when somebody just smiles at me, it's like mm-hmm. Such a nice thing to see. It's refreshing.

So, yes. Um, so I know that at times we won't feel like smiling and that's okay. 

Mm-hmm. 

But, um, sometimes we will, and I feel like. And we all can be encouraging each other that way. 

Mm-hmm. 

Uh, when we can.

Did you know through my company, women Aware and Prepared, I share keynotes and workshops focused on prevention and healing, helping people live safer with more peace. I've been invited to speak at universities, school counselor conferences, the Institute on Violence, abuse and Trauma. Crisis centers, social work, conferences, junior high and high schools, and women's gatherings.

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So I know another thing too that I've learned throughout my own life is a difference between joy and happy.

Mm-hmm. 

And I feel like happy is more temporary and based on other experiences or based on others. In fact. And joy is like deeper and it's in. Me and it's part of me. Does that make sense? 

Mm-hmm. That makes sense. I think that's kind of how people generally describes it, actually, what you just said. 

Yeah. And you said something there that I wanna come back to too, you said that we, maybe we shouldn't feel like I shouldn't feel joy. Right. And so, one of my, um, instructors and mentors, Brooke Castillo said that, um, should, it's just a could with shame on it.

Oh, 

interesting. 

And I love that so much. 

Mm-hmm. 

Because, the guilt, like it is coming from that narrative that, no, I shouldn't feel it. I want to, but I shouldn't. Right? Mm-hmm. So we're putting that on ourselves and Right. And another, um, another. Part of that should, and, and I love talking about this because it comes up so much in the coaching.

I be the should I bet. And I have to watch myself constantly too. Yeah. Of like not shoulding myself. Mm-hmm. It's not productive and it doesn't really help anyone. It just creates a lot of bad feelings and shilts. And then we start acting in a way that we don't wanna act anyway. Right. And then we build your sentiment and all of that.

So another approach to that should is, uh, Sarah. Peyton, I believe her name was, she's a neuroscience educator and, I took a course with her, a few years ago. And so she talked about how, uh, guilt is just unprocessed sadness. 

Yes, I've heard that. 

Yeah. And I think that, and it's not always the case.

Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. Um, but if you think about that, oftentimes when clients commit a session and they talk about, I just feel so guilty about that, and I ask, so what are you sad about? And they go, well, so let's say that they feel guilty that. Something happened. Let's say if we stick with the theme of, uh, or the topic of, um, we heard some sad news about something happening to some people in a certain country or whatnot.

And so when you feel guilty about that, like what is it that you feel sad about? Well, I feel sad about that. There's so little I can do. Mm. Or I feel sad that they had to go through that. 

Right. 

Right. Now when you kind of. Get to that core of the sadness, oftentimes the guilt kind of subside and we wanna be sad about it.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, and process through that. Mm-hmm. But it's more, you kind of get to the core of it where shame is just putting a, a lid on top of it, because it's oftentimes easier to deal with that. And we're more used to that than to sit with the sadness. 

Of course. Yeah. So, 

so that's something to consider too, I think when we go into that should thinking.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Um, and then are there certain. Ways that you help, I mean, each client is gonna be different that you're coaching, but um, in general that we can like cultivate more joy, especially during these times. 

Yeah, no, that's too a great question. I think part of it is gonna come back to that relationship and becoming aware of what relationship do you have to joy, but also.

Um, notice when you feel joy, what are you thinking in that moment, right? When you feel like, oh, I just feel like joyful. You have that, however that feels to you in your body. Mm-hmm. What are you thinking in that moment? Mm-hmm. Is it like, oh, this is so wonderful, or I really love this so much, or like, what are the thoughts?

So you become aware of that inner narrative that is actually created because thoughts create feelings. And also joy is, is an emotion that. It comes from a state, so thoughtful state. Now we're going into concepts here, but. We can use both, right? So state is when talking about sensory, like how can we like affect the body from what's going on outside?

How can you create an environment? What are you responding to? Who are you surrounding yourself with? That can create kind of that state. And then you're gonna have more positive thoughts, and then you're gonna feel more likely to feel joy. Mm-hmm. But there's also like thoughts that creates joy. I love this day so much, and I get to hang out with my friends on the, and it's sunny and it's perfect.

That's probably gonna create the feeling of joy too. Mm-hmm. So it's kind of being aware of both, like what am I thinking? And also what are the inputs that I'm getting right now from the outside? Sure. That is. That is impacting my state, my nervous system. Yeah. And my senses. 

Yeah. 

So thoughts will be one.

Um, also small things, like kind of similar to using your senses is looking for glimmers. Mm-hmm. Looking for it. Because I think a lot of us thinks that joy is just one of those things that we should have where it just comes. To us. Mm-hmm. But a lot of it is created mm-hmm. By default or like by active choices that we're making.

True. And glimmers could be one of those active choices. That's true. So looking for those little tiny. Sparks of joy in your life. It can be like, oh, like the other day I saw the sun streaming through the window and kind of hitting one of the plants in my bedroom and it just looks so beautiful. Mm-hmm.

And just noticing that. Mm-hmm. And see, oh yeah, that's beautiful. Just a little spark. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And start really looking for those glimmers. Mm-hmm. Is also like a very simple and easy way of. Starting to pay attention and creating that mm-hmm. Joy from the inside, because joy is, I would say, an inside job more than anything.

Yeah, true, true. Um, and how does, uh, gratitude play into that? 

Yes. Great question because I think, I think even, I don't quote me on this, but I think they've even done research on gratitude and joy and how they kind of go hand in hand. 

Sure. 

So, um, my husband and I actually started, it's been a while now. We started, um, uh, a thing every night before we go to bed.

The last thing we say to each other is, um, we share what we're grateful for for the day. Mm-hmm. It's like, what are you grateful for? Uh, and then we share that with each other. Yeah. Just to kind of really get into the practice of it. Now, of course, I, I'm not. Necessarily wanting to feel joy right before bed, but it kinda sets up the sleep.

I think going in from that mental space is nice. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But seeing also like are there any kind of practices that are easy, simple. It doesn't have to be. Sitting in a yoga post journaling for an hour every day. Yeah. What are some easy ways where you can notice those things? Notice what are you grateful for?

Mm-hmm. Say them out loud, put them on a Post-it, note it. Mm-hmm. PO post-it notes. Share with a friend, like, I'm so grateful for this. And get that vocabulary into your everyday life. 

Right. Yeah. That's cool. Um, and I think you even made a little download for us that has some of that, right? 

Yes. Yeah, I did.

Yeah. So, it is called Your Joy Guide. , It, covers some of the things that we talked about today and more with some questions for you to ponder on, um, to create that awareness and to kind of steer your brain into that line of thinking as well.

Because oftentimes it's simple things mm-hmm. Uh, and also with some suggestions for how to actively. Find out like what you can do, like very concrete steps. Like I love that for Yeah, like how this sense, for example, I have a lot of examples in there For what sense? Like sensory. Mm-hmm. Inputs might, you might like that someone else might not, but, but also inviting the, the person to, to.

Find that out for themselves so they can create more of that. Yeah. Actively. Right. Uh, and uh, and also some other ways to explore, try something new. Mm-hmm. Or the gratitude is part of that too. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. Um, so some questions and tips that they can take action on to actually create more joy in their life.

That's cool. Um, and how did we get that? I know I want that. 

Yeah. Uh, so you go to life coach helen thompson.com uh, slash your joy guide. Okay. And Helen is spelled H-E-L-E-N. 

Mm-hmm. 

And Thompson, THOM, pso n, so mm-hmm. Life coach he thompson.com/your joy guide. 

Cool. I'll put that in the show notes too.

Awesome. 

Yeah. 

Yeah. I actually had a lot of fun making it and I was like, good, I wanna do this too. 

Maybe it brought you joy. 

Yes, totally. There you go. 

Um, and then how do people connect with you? 

Yeah, so I am on Instagram and Facebook, uh, but I am trying to stay away. From social media as much as I can, but I do have an account there.

It's, uh, live coach Allen Thompson. But the best way of, uh, staying in touch, seeing what I'm up to and get some tips and inspiration and as you said, like pretty short, but very do both things, uh, is to, uh, join my weekly Love Note. It's just an email every Thursday. I send it out in the morning. And, uh, um, you can unsubscribe at any time if you don't like it.

So, uh, don't like 

it, trust me. 

Yeah, uh, yeah, I get a lot of kind of responses from it and people seem to really resonate with it, so 

that's cool. 

So that's at life coach helen thompson.com/weekly. And then you just leave your name and, and email and then you'll start getting my weekly little love notes.

Awesome. Hey, and then, um, in those, at the end, you always invite us if we want to do a call with you to, um, you know, see if we want your help. Uh, with coaching right? 



Yeah, I sometimes invite people to just schedule a chat and mm-hmm. I'm really, I, I don't like being sold to, and I know most people don't like being sold to, so those chats are kind of just a chance for us to connect and see like, what, what is it, um, that you're struggling with right now and how might be ways that I can help with that.

Mm-hmm. And does that seem like something you're interested in? And sometimes I refer people other places too. Mm-hmm. So it's just kind of a chat to get to know. And oftentimes people walk away with some insights because I'm asking questions in that chat too. Sure. Uh, walking away with some insights that they can just take no matter if they coach with me or not.

They can just take them and act on them right away. Cool. So 

good. Um, and is there anything else that you wanted to say that we didn't touch on yet? 

Um. I think just to know that our brain is wired to go to negativity first. It's called a negativity bias. Mm-hmm. So to know that that's where our brain is gonna go by default, that's human, that's normal.

And having that awareness realize that we might have to put in a little bit of work just for the positive. Mm-hmm. Um, and that's one of those survival things. And we don't have to go into that, but mm-hmm. Just note that, you know, if, if you want more of, of like joy, you, you might just wanna spend some time and see how can I actually create that for myself.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, and there is always time. Yeah. Even though I know how busy people are, but there's always time. It does not have to take a long time. 

That's true. That is 

true. And you deserve it. 

Yeah. Oh my gosh. But a lot of times our brain fights that Right. And says, no, I don't. 

Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

I'm too busy.

Right. 

Yeah. Yeah. It's just one of those nice to have, like this is more important. Oh, totally. Yeah. 

Right. 

So, and that's just not true is, and sometimes what I like to do to kind of trick the brain a little bit, especially with women, is that it's not just gonna benefit you. Who else is it gonna benefit?

Mm-hmm. 

And that seems to open up a little bit more for. For especially women. I think it's the way we've been socialized of taking care of others, but how is this a win-win, 

right? Yeah. 

If I take care of me and I make sure that I get to experience some of this, how does that benefit others? 

Exactly. I love it.

Cool. 

Yeah. 

Well, thank you so much for being here with us, and like I said, I'm gonna drop. Your information in the show notes, and I highly encourage everybody to go download that joy guide because I know you worked hard on it and even found joy yourself making it. So yes, 

so much 

fun. Good job. Yeah, so thank you Helen.

Thank you so much. It was so much fun. 

You're welcome.

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