the life of an internet influencer w/ Nikki Neisler

I'm talking with Nikki about her life as a content-creator and how to keep grounded, creative, and lively when the internet, a public forum, is your job.

You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @nikki.neisler

Watch the show & vlogs on Alina's YouTube

Alina's Instagram @alinasauza
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Chapters

• 1:25 updates
• 8:24 who is Nikki
• 12:26 don't let fear keep you from creating
• 16:24 how to make money as an influencer
• 25:30 dealing with haters
• 32:35 importance self care
• 39:25 sober curious
• 52:08 feminine energy
• 1:01:00 a better you
• 1:06:00 end of year goal check in
• 1:11:00 outro

Transcript

Alina: 0:02

Welcome to stellar cycles, a podcast dedicated to showing each woman her intrinsic power to guide her life, her cycle, her relationships and her dreams. I cover feminine energy, reproductive health and all things related to being a potent and magical being that is woman. I'm your host Alina and today our topic is personal integrity as an online creator. That means we're going to uncover what life is like for someone with online presence and popularity, how the soul is affected in the process of being creative, and the public recognition that comes with it and routines and habits that keep you grounded and keep the human part of you live when the Internet is your job. For this episode, I will be interviewing my dear friend, Nikki Eisler. And this is a girl who honestly she's one of my youngest friends, but I have become so impressed with her and getting to know her over the last few months, just her wisdom, her kindness how well adjusted she is. And I'm just always very thrilled to spend time with her and to get to talk to her. So when she agreed to come on to my podcast, I was very excited because this will kind of give us a perspective into someone's life who did attain internet popularity who does have hundreds of 1000s sometimes millions of eyes on them. So I know a lot of us are curious about what that's like, how much does it take from you and how do you replenish that back? So that will be our interview with Nikki here in a few minutes. But first let me get into my current updates. So Thanksgiving is behind us. It was kind of pretty low key this year for me. I spent it with my husband's parents and grandma in Escondido so just a chill family dinner mom made really really good food. Couldn't get enough the turkey was so juicy and I normally don't go for Turkey just because I feel like it's more of a drier meat than I would prefer. But Mrs. Sauza made a turkey so juicy your girl couldn't get it out. The dog was there to Nova came with us and she was just sitting obediently by the edge of the table just hoping for any sort of scraps that we would share with her. But of course she did go outside and chase around some bugs and hunted down some snails. So she's very happy this Thanksgiving to my side of the family. I don't even think that they met for Thanksgiving this year. They always do something very, very big for the whole family like at least 2030 people cooking all day, that type of Thanksgiving, but this year, they're just kind of spread out everywhere. My parents are on a trip. I think they're turkey. My brother who drives the semi truck Danny He's all over the place and he's actually coming here from Pennsylvania to San Diego this weekend. I'm very excited to see him he has not met my puppy yet. So that'll be very, very fun. She's gonna make her phone call Danny Yan of course is constantly working on his construction projects and his company has been growing like crazy he has multiple employees now but anyway this podcast is not about my brother's let me continue moving on. So now we're in full blown Christmas season. I don't know how you guys feel about that. I don't know if you go to the wall for Christmas and just start putting up the decorations as soon as you can. I did put up my tree last week. I just have not decorated it yet. I'm going to be decorating it with Sam today's since he has a day off and our plans for Christmas are to spend Christmas again with my husband's family who's down here his sister and her husband will fly in from Michigan so we'll be with that side of the family for Christmas and then fly up north the day after Christmas for Banff Canada, visit some friends up there and then go to Spokane my home for New Years. My family loves New Year's celebration so that will be an awesome awesome time and also for Sam to get to see how Slavic people celebrate New Years. Also right before Thanksgiving, I got my nails done I actually have lined up my beauty maintenance and routines to go along with every new astrological season so when Libra season hits that's when I'm going and doing my nails my lashes my brows my facial and then when Scorpio season hits I do it again and then when Sagittarius season hits like right now I got everything new got it done all over again. So I've been really liking doing things that way for my maintenance routine mainly because it just makes me feel like I'm going into a new season with a new vibe and also thank god my period and my cycle have also lined up with astrological seasons too. So when it's a new season it's also a new cycle for me which is pretty cool. So this time around for my nails I got a deep read and I've never been so obsessed with them I can't stop looking at them go and get a Russian manicure if you haven't yet entered the world of Russian manicure trust me Believe me it is life changing at its most careful, meticulous, gentle looking lady like manicure you could possibly hope for and finally on my bit of interior decorating journey. So when we moved here to this new apartment in Little Italy, we mainly brought over all of our stuff from the old apartment and most of it worked, but some of it, it just doesn't feel like it's quite there yet. So I've been putting feelers out for decorators, interior designers. And this one girl came over and she was so incredible. Immediately, I got the vibe from her that she knows exactly what she's doing with design. And she just kept popping off these amazing ideas. And I was like, yes, yes, yes. I can't wait to work with you. The next day, I was like, okay, husband gave the Go ahead.

Unknown: 5:36

Let's do this. What's

Alina: 5:37

your Venmo let's start working together, she sends me back a text message. And she says, Oh my god, I'm so sorry, something came up, a wrench got thrown into my plans. Last minute, I don't know how I'm gonna juggle all of this together. So I won't be able to take on your project. So the search starts again. But she did give me someone that I could look into a good friend of hers. So I will be checking in with that lady too. But it's just such a bummer. Because that meeting was so well. And I just really felt like we clicked and everything was going to go amazingly and this was going to be my designer. But hey, you know, life, we got to be flexible. We have to adapt, improvise and overcome, because that's how we make it in this life. Anyway, let's get into the conversation for this episode with my friend Nikki, who's an influencer online creator, and honestly, overall, just very active, health oriented person. So she is a health and wellness influencer and entrepreneur, and I met her at book club, actually, in June of this year is the very first time that I saw you, I don't think we've really got to talking or hanging out much until the end of summer, though, kind of at the Italian book club in August. And then in September was when I hung out with you and Alex that one Friday night and Alex had on recently on the podcast, and she was talking about her whole holistic medical school journey. And that was a really, really good episode. But today, we're talking about you, Nikki, because you are a creator, you're an online presence. And I think you are going to be a standout interview, because you are here to talk about the unspoken side of online content creation, which you know, there's a ton of things out there already for tips on how to do the numbers and the analytics and the strategies and then you'll be an online creator. But I think that that world can get very robotic, very computer like and tends to forget the whole human aspect of being online, you know, and being known by hundreds, sometimes 1000s of people, sometimes even millions of people who you would probably never meet all of them in your life, but in some way or another, they're consuming your energy on a daily basis. Right? And not many people talk about what are the strategies, right? Like we were talking about strategies earlier, the sense of like, oh, this is how you take your analytics from here to there. And this is what it means to be truly successful. But then what about the strategies for taking care of yourself as a whole person and how to maintain and retain your integrity if you are an online presence, and you have tons and tons of eyes on you, you know? So like I said earlier, we share a few of the same friends and Nikki is one person that I can talk to for hours but I'm very glad she came on to the podcast. But do you want to introduce yourself a little bit first before we get into it? Who are you? What do you do on a daily basis? What is your life look like today?

Unknown: 8:39

Yeah, thank you for having me. Lena I'm so excited. This is actually my first podcast and I've always wanted to be on one my whole creator career so super hyped to be here. I started tick tock back in 2020. And you know, everything was shut down. And tick tock was still kind of a cringe app to have on your phone. But some of us were starting to make a go at it. And I finally caved in downloaded the app and I enjoyed making content and it was fun and exciting and I'd literally nothing else to do locked away in the house. So it just became a really fun outlet that ended up blowing up and I stuck with it. And here I am today with 1.6 million on Tik Tok. And I think we're sitting at like 230 K on Instagram, as the content has changed a lot over the years. A big one a lot of people know me for is when I lived in Kansas, and it was farmer tick tock Country Girl tick tock. Now that I live in San Diego and moved here a year and a half ago, I've been transitioning into talking about things that I think will have a deep impact on myself and the world, specifically around health and wellness. Getting outside making friends. Bio hacking. I do some stuff in the ice bath, which is pretty fun. breathwork different stuff.

Alina: 10:10

Yes. Yeah. And you're I'm always seeing you doing all of those things and we will get into our conversation about biohacking specifically all the things that you love to do. And I was just wondering, did you kind of get good at all of these things kind of all at once, tic tock being online retaining attention and virality or did it come with time? How did that go for you is you really have to build up for it a walkthrough to take you until you started getting traction.

Unknown: 10:38

Yeah, so something I don't think I've ever really talked about before. It's actually back in seventh grade. I was a YouTuber. Yeah, I had to channel I had a couple of videos up. Same thing. I was really drawn to the creation of it, but just didn't really know what I was doing. But it was doing it because it was fun. But unfortunately, I got into middle school and someone told me, Hey, like, even at the other local high schools, they know about your YouTube and everyone says how cringy you are and like how embarrassing it is. And the YouTube career ended there sucks. What were you posting about that? Grade is so random. It was like one was jumping in this no challenges yoga challenge. I did one that I never posted that was funny of my friend. And I just like making fun of couples. Really good. And then one is really what you do in seventh grade, you know what I mean? Like, right, but just like him, no one was really a creator. Like, you know, now I think a lot of Gen Z's growing up and you say, what do you want to be when you grew up? And they all say an influencer, but it wasn't really a thing, like the pain of that embarrassment, you know, killed my dream there. And it's really sad to look back but I'm so happy that I ended up you know, coming back to video content creation, but this time, it was Tik Tok. And this was junior year of high school. You know, some years went by, like, who knows? It could have happened, but I'm happy. I'm back to it. And that's also why I'm a big advocate of getting other people to follow their content creator dreams and not letting the fear of being perceived or judge told them back. So to your question of, did it take some time when I started posting on Tik Tok is just getting, you know, like a couple 100 views or whatever and most people get when it's just put out there to the algorithm at first, but I wasn't really trying for anything, either. It's just kind of making whatever like skits. And then one day I made a video about joking because all the gyms were shut down, right? And it was like working out without pre workout versus working out with pre workout. And I had a bang energy drink. And so I did like a little banded leg exercise. And then I like pressed to the mattress because it was working out from home and the gyms were closed, but I guess tick tock was still really new to and there were not ads and promotions and brand deals. But because I use the drink. I think brands perceived it as an ad. And the video just also did really well. And when it went viral, some brands reached out to me, and I think they thought it was a promotion. And we're so shocked to see someone with almost no followers getting all of these views and sharing a product. And it wasn't really common at that time for there to be ads or promotions or brand deals on Tik Tok. So a couple of brands reached out and I just started asking them questions. And they basically encouraged me to keep going with this and actually take it seriously. And so from that point on, you know, I started refreshing my screen, things are going crazy. I refreshed it over and over. All of a sudden, I think I hit 10k followers, and I was just like, wow, this this is real. And over that timeframe, I've locked down and into the next couple of years I have posted three to five times every single day on tick tock on tick tock Wow. Which was crazy, but I really don't recommend that honestly, because like I said it literally had nothing else to do like everything was shut down. And I don't think it's the way to do it anymore.

Alina: 14:52

No, I think you're totally right about that. Because most people who you do hear Tiktok success stories. It's kind of always the same To get started out during COVID, there was nothing else to do. So I was just posting videos all the time. And it's like, yeah, that's kind of what the algorithm still expects of you, if you want to pop off, but the world isn't set up for that anymore as much, you know, things have Floki gone back to normal a little bit more. So you

Unknown: 15:18

can keep that up for so long. But you're gonna get burned out? And I did, I definitely did. And so then, you know, it comes a journey of ups and downs, mountains and valleys. I do believe consistently showing up is important. But when it gets to rigorous mathematical, that's when you can just really kill your creativity to your point of like, Did it come all at once? Definitely not. And today, you know, I'd say listen to mentors and ask other people what worked for them. Because I had no clue like, I did not do any research, YouTube, anyone to talk was so new, there were no gurus or advice given about it, I was just kind of shooting in the dark. And I thought, statistically, the more videos I posted, the more of a chance they would do well. So that's all I was doing. But I recommend nowadays, especially because the algorithm doesn't give out views like candy anymore, leading from your heart space and talking about things that you think will emotionally resonate with people.

Alina: 16:25

Got it? So what about now tell us what you do on a daily basis, like what is your life? What is your work look like? Because I think a lot of people are curious, how do influencers actually make a living? You know, like, what do those numbers actually mean? Yeah,

Unknown: 16:40

I think it also depends on if you're trying to just be a full time content creator. Or also, a lot of my friends now are trying to build out digital products and release other things they can monetize. Rather than rely on just brand deals. I myself, focus more on my social media marketing agency, okay, help create, strategize and run tick tock ads for apps. So that takes most of my days. But I do have a window of creation time, in the first half of my day, while you know, it's sunny, it's morning, that energy is flowing, I think it's really important to take that time of day to be creative. Specifically, I think it's really not even about the numbers anymore, if you want to become a creator, but think you can't make money from it. Just because you don't have a lot of followers. It's so different now, because this new thing is called UGC, user generated content. And you can have literally no followers and it doesn't matter, you're essentially being hired as an actor. If you know how to position yourself on camera, position, a product on camera, make it engaging and make people want to buy that product, or brand will pay you to give that to them to put on their social or run as an ad, put it in their email sequences, whatever. Because they know they need to be on social media. And they're not hiring, you know, when of their 50 year old corporate people they know usually like the younger generation gets it, they know what is going to be engaging. And especially Gen Z doesn't like being directly sold to right. You don't want it to look like a Facebook ad, or a commercial, tick tock ad, it needs to look like a tick tock itself. So you have the eye for creation. And you have the willingness to pitch your brand and say, Hey, look at what I've done. And I can do this for you too. And I can get results for your company like I did another company, you literally don't need any followers at all. Because it's not about your audience and you're following and thinking you're following is trustworthy. So like, if you recommend something, they'll buy it from you. The game's kind of changing now that there's so many influencers, people are trying to be a lot smarter with their money and their allocation. I

Alina: 19:12

could see that I could totally see that and get that vibe like people are definitely like, if they are pushing a product, they're doing it very indirectly. They're using it during their storytime Get Ready With Me or whatever. Right. But yeah, this episode specifically is very much about how do you I guess not get lost in the sauce on the internet? You know what I mean? Because at least from what I've seen from you, being friends with you in the past few months, it really seems as though you highly prioritize, and very much value taking care of your temple taking care of your body, not really, you know, allowing things to mentally take over. You know what I'm saying? Because once it does, everything else follows you know what I mean? But let's talk a little bit about why you've discovered all that stuff isn't Corten steel like the biohacking some of your favorite, how do you plug these into your daily schedule?

Unknown: 20:06

So there's a lot to cover there. And I'd say we can think of it in two ways. Being a creator being an influencer, there are a lot of things that it's going to take from you, okay, and take a view of social media, there's going to be a big drain and a big game. It's a first draining lies, you know, we were talking about earlier, that is, being perceived by that many people is crazy. And, you know, back in the day, we are perceived by, you know, 10 people, 30 people, 30 people in our tribe. And if you weren't liked in your tribe, that meant you know, what is going to happen, like I could die and not have any food or any water, any resources. So the same lizard brain fight or flight still exists today of what if I'm canceled, what if people don't like me, like, I can't take it, our bodies react and literally put us into fight or flight. So that is a thing of like, if you do not take time and practices to overcome that, you will just live in a stress response in your body day after day, week after week, if you're trying to do this long term as your career and that leads to, you know, dis ease in your body and, you know, deterioration of mental health. And I think that's why we see so many people come to fame and rise and fall, people just begin to fall to addiction and self sabotage. Because it becomes too much of you know, you're not relevant anymore. What happened to your views, like I haven't seen you in so long or another thing that's interesting is people change. Like I said, I moved, you know, from the countryside farm, talk to San Diego. And some people will give you the advice of you need to niche down in order to grow and talk about something really specific. But we're multifaceted human beings. And so what happens as we age and be grown, we change and we move and we're interested in different things. But the algorithm only shows us to one kind of person, one kind of audience and we feel ourselves as when brand. Right? So moved here and people are like, go back to the farm. Like what is this kind of content and it was really discouraging for a really long time. But I founded just do an identity shift in belief. You know, I am Nikki nicely. I'm a health and wellness creator. I love talking about biohacking and freediving and surfing and all my, like outdoor Hustings. You know, and I love this, and that's who I am. And even though you know, it was my first health and wellness post ever, or is my third one, and then my fifth one. And it just happens day by day, the more you put it out, the more you become that person, but you just have to, like, already choose to identify with it even before you're there. Like people say fake it till you make it. I don't really agree with the figure, I'd say Be it until you become it. Yeah, already embody it. Yeah.

Alina: 23:31

And also put yourself in those situations that that person that you want to be would be experiencing. Right. So

Unknown: 23:38

100%. So becoming that person, right? Are not

Alina: 23:43

faking it, like you might not be 100% good at it, or like not necessarily know everything that's going on, but at least you're going and immersing yourself in the experience that you want to have and training your body. Hey, this can become familiar for me, you know, 100%

Unknown: 23:57

And I think that also ties back into draining wise and judgment wise, people can say this, isn't you or I'd say one that kind of got to me sometimes is people say oh, she lost her dad. She's going crazy. And like searching for anything or anything and you know, is in a cult now or like when I took an emotional intelligence program, and that's what ended up bringing me to San Diego. And people were like, That's a call. Like, I'm like I've literally just paid for a course to go to for a few months but helped me become a better person. It's

Alina: 24:37

kind of crazy though. Because then like when these people say mean things, of course, it's easy to be like, dang, that really sucks and even question your own self as who you are. But at the same time, we have to remember most of these people who are talking crap are stupid. They're not going in taking an emotional intelligence course or know how to not be mean to someone on the internet right now. That's just who they are as people and but it eats away at your energy. And it's draining right to have to read those things. And oh, so this actually leads me into my next question. Do you think that there's something to be said for that many people just simply knowing about you and being able to, even at the bottom line think a negative thing about you? If not go out of their way to say it. Do you think that that affects you more than say somebody who legit like, only knows the 50 people in their village? You know what I mean? Do you think that that affects your humanity? And is that something you have to kind of armor up for by like, taking really good care of yourself?

Unknown: 25:37

Yeah, totally connecting that with what we were just talking about in keeping your humanity. I think a big reason why people start to lose their soul as they claim to fame, is because we're taught to just cold shoulder it numb it out, you know, those people don't know what they're talking about. They're just jealous and nothing better to do. Like, they're just hate commenting. And it's like, yeah, you know, I can see some truth about that. But I did that for a really long time. And I found myself totally cut off from my emotions cut off from those people. And you know, they're supposed to be my audience, there's a history in my community, like I should be loving to them. And I don't think that cultural during them is loving them. So what I like to do instead, is just drop little hints and seeds of awareness and love of like, Oh, hey, like, I totally hear you, you know, with that being. But this is actually like, what I'm seeing they're experiencing or doing. And so kind of like acknowledging them and not just coming back, like, oh, no, like, You're wrong, it's this or this way. Because I also used to, you know, never reply and let other people like, comment back for me. But I realized, usually, if I reply, and it's something actually coming from the heart, that person will be like, oh, like, you know, yeah, sorry. And then I'm like, Whoa, you know, I didn't expect that I thought they would just troll harder. Yeah, maybe that person now becomes a really loyal, like fan or a member of the community, and then starts coming back and seeing you differently, right. So you could keep letting people perceive you negatively, and just let that exist in the world. Or, you know, when you feel called, you could drop these little hints of, maybe they will change when I see this something in the emotional intelligence program. It's like day one. And we all had to look into each other's eyes and realize if we trusted that person or not, and then also give feedback and it's like, well, how can you know that person tell me that I'm this way in that way, that way, if they don't even know me? Like, maybe I just remind them of their ex or, you know, they're just judging me based off a stereotype like that's not fair. But the counter to that was there's something in you that you are creating, that's giving them that so how do you take ownership of that and lead in live in such an expansive you know, loving way that people don't feel called to think mean thoughts that you and judge you know, not saying like, everyone's ever gonna stop it's kind of like asking, you know, for world peace, like Yeah, there's definitely always going to be people doing their, their mean things, but I think that if you know, like, you are embodying the best self you can. And you're also you know, feeling okay with like, putting some of that out there to to even the people who are the meanest to you, then you don't really worry about you know, is someone giving me an evil eye out there? Yeah, I would say something I do struggle with so is Have you seen the posts that are like move in silence like a movie? Doing? Like, I totally, you know, I can show that and it's like, you don't want to tell people about something before it's really locked down because you would if they start kind of evil, lying, you're draining the energy. And but then other people say, you know, document your process and document the journey, because otherwise if you're like, Hey, I'm rich. Here are my tips. And people are like, well, I don't do that because I didn't see you grow and climb. Yeah. And

Alina: 29:50

documenting for yourself is different than like documenting but also posting and constantly updating people who haven't really earned the updates. You know what I mean? You can totally document the process. But I think that constantly letting people in on like the information or especially if it's not out yet does affect the process of the thing being done.

Unknown: 30:14

See, this is why I'm so conflicted. I also feel like people, you know, feel like they grow with you, when you document the journey I can relate to you because I see a lot of you know, people are like, look at me, I'm up now. And other people are like, well, you know, that's unrealistic, because not me. And, you know, I'm this way in this demographic, and like born this way. I don't have daddy's money. Like, yeah, if I documented it, would that have been a different outcome? I don't know.

Alina: 30:49

Yeah. But that's the thing is like, you can totally document it. But instead of spoon feeding it to people on daily basis, you could definitely just compile that story and then put it out all as one piece, you know what I mean, when it actually is relevant to the things that you're going through. And people are like, Wait, we want to see what it took for you to get to this point. And you're like, Well, lucky

Unknown: 31:09

for you. I have Exactly, yeah. But then, but it's like, truly, like,

Alina: 31:15

I'll give this as an example. It's kind of like watching someone be pregnant on Instagram, if they've they're really getting into it. Like every single day, there's a bump day, and every day, there's a screenshot of like the How big is the baby, it's as big as a papaya today, the next day, it'll be as big as an eggplant. You know, like, it's just like the slow milking and like the, just the dropping of like having to watch that over an extended period of time, then you're like,

Unknown: 31:41

I don't really care, like, Cool. Is

Alina: 31:43

this baby born yet? Are they going to have it? You know, like, and then it comes in here. It's just like, not as exciting. But if it's like, boom, all of a sudden someone posts that like, Hey, you guys didn't know this, but like, we had a baby. And then everyone's like, Wait, we want to see like the pregnancy pictures? Like where is everything?

Unknown: 32:00

You know, think there is equal or more?

Alina: 32:03

After the result has been achieved? Right? You know what I mean?

Unknown: 32:07

It's also hard to write because the laws of like seduction and mystery and a Luer. Right? Wait, what? And then that prompts them to have curiosity. And so I think there's definitely some magic in that code there. I'm still playing with Yeah, probably will be.

Alina: 32:30

Yeah, so we're gonna kind of get into like, Why, especially from your perspective, why it's so important for creators to take care of themselves. So I kind of want to lead into like, you're sober, curious lifestyle, and then also your history with your dad, if you're open to talking about that. That's another thing that you're kind of known for online is kind of posting about, like, you know, loss of a family member or your dad and how hard that was on you. And even though like one of my friends that I got you in touch with was like, oh, like, Yeah, this is what this girl was posting about? I'm going through something similar. I would love to talk to her about that. So yeah, what can you share with us about that side of your life,

Unknown: 33:14

I would start off by freezing it as you need a foundation to come from, if you're looking to be famous, do you already have your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health in order, because that is what's most important. And if you don't already have those in order, when you get to that level of fame, and you have all these eyes on you, all these people seeing what you're going to do next? What's going on with you? You know, who are you being? And then you're also thinking about what do I talk about who these people, like who do I be? How do I present myself, if you don't know who you are, you don't have a relationship with yourself, you don't love yourself, you are extremely firm, and who you are, what you do, what you stand for what you care about, when these things come flying at you. They will chip you away and break you down. And it goes back to that fall of celebrities in the fall of famous people. So what I strongly recommend doing and I think a lot of people don't do these days, is having a time for yourself every single day. I personally recommend the morning of whether you're journaling or you're meditating, or you're just sitting and reflecting or you're literally staring into the mirror for an extended period of time like just you and thinking about you know, who am i How are we feeling Now what am I up to right now in life? Like what do I care about? What could I improve? What am I really grateful for? What am I really good at? Like, why do I love myself? Why do other people love me? You know, is there anything that's blocking me that I haven't processed or healed through? Is there something that's nagging me in the back of my head and I mean to myself, when I look in the mirror, if you don't have that all like settled and healed through and shadow work done, you're not ready for the big leagues, and other people seeing that. So what I do every morning, is I have an ice bath from if you guys are looking for one Odin ice bath is the most beautiful one I have found it did a search far and wide. From Australia, small business so beautiful. I don't I spend every single day but if I do start with an ice bath, or don't, then the next thing after that is stretching in the sunshine, getting that vitamin D getting this sunlight in my eyes. Vitamin D also literally makes you happy. So making sure you get out there. And I'm someone to that suffered from nightmares most of my life. And so it's really important for me to make sure I shift my emotional state first thing and make sure I'm in the highest energy to create and get after my day. So stretch, actually sorry, before stretching, meditate. So while you're still on this brainwaves of sleep, and you're not really back to consciousness, yet, it's a great time to go within and either, you know, connect with yourself, connect with a higher power grounded into your intentions of what you want to be that day or just feeling gratitude and love or just feeling good and peaceful and calm. Are you still in bed when you're meditating? No, I believe personally, with my practice that and this isn't an atomic habits, the book to that you train yourself to be in states of consciousness in different places. So for me, my bed room is sleep consciousness. So I go outside, and I put up my yoga mat and sit in the same place on the grass every day. Because then it trains my body that when I get there, we're going into meditation consciousness. When I get on my bed, I'm falling asleep and going into sleep consciousness. I like that. So just like chose mosey on outside or to wherever it is for you and little corner. Different I think in the Bible, it's talked about, like, you know, have your little meditation, I mean, like prayer closet, people put prayer closet, like, whenever little space it is that you can carve out and make sacred for yourself, that time with you. And source whatever higher power God that you connect to is really, really important. And then I personally just started reading the artists way, which has me doing a three pages of free writing every single morning and I started it like three days ago, it's been a crazy journey to see what spills out of my brain, the truth of what I'm really feeling and thinking about but um, either that or just like standard journaling before getting into my day. And I find that if you just hop out of bed and get going it's you know, people are typically reactionary of oh, that's happening this is happening like I need to do this or put out that fire do this, this that boom, bang boom. And then you're like in bed at the end of the day like Whoa, where did my day just go versus like getting centered and coming from that higher state of power and like love and being happy with yourself and then you're able to you know, also come back to that center easily if things are thrown at you throughout the day. You can handle them more calmly and efficiently. Yeah,

Alina: 39:18

I do love like how centered meditation makes you feel at the beginning of the day and like I really do my best when I'm in the flow of like making that part of my everyday routine so that's something I'm working on this week. I yeah, let's just kind of talk about pretty much every single time I've been out with you you don't drink so let's talk a little bit about the whole sober curious part of your life. A lot of your posts are very like super curious themed, so kind of expand on that a little bit so we can understand what spurs that because you know, we do live in San Diego. It's a party town. Everybody here drinks so yeah, what about Hear

Unknown: 40:00

from a more relatable standpoint, I would say noticed in work. By the time Monday got to Friday, I'd feel like I was finally hitting my stride being the most efficient really being on my routine, getting things down and the weekend would come in and there always events and parties and things to do in San Diego. And I'd be totally wiped out by the time Monday came back around. And then you know, Monday, and then Tuesday and like kind of back on it Wednesday, like, okay, Thursday are feeling great Friday, we're on the routine. And that would reset over and over and over again each week, which meant I was only really being efficient and like one to two days a week. And I think that's a super common story for most people. And I try to live at a high performance angle so that this was not working. But personally, I don't want to fall to the same things that have happened in my family in my bloodline with drinking. And they say that when you're a child of an alcoholic, especially a child of two, that your chances are a lot more likely. And I found that I definitely do have an addictive behavior. And my father passed away from drinking, I think a year and no two to two and a half years ago, I think it is now. And I was so unsure of sharing about that. And I actually I think it's my most viral post ever. I am after being a tick talker for so long, I hear an audio and I automatically think, what does that make me feel? What video would I make with it. And as a creative you know, it is a creative act like it's just like someone does a piece of a painting to work out how they feel about something. And so while my dad was in the hospital, I heard this song and you know, it really touched me and you know, I'm in a lot of pain. And I wanted to share that. Like just really heavy feeling. I just felt really called to make this video and I think it has 16 million views or something really high and is a video me crying and just like putting out a warning about like drinking and that it's serious. And their reactions were all over the place to say the least I got a lot of press fake press inaccurately saying girl fake crying over, like some friend in the hospital. And like that's my dad, I was definitely really crying. But I think people just aren't used to seeing heavy shares on the internet that it can trigger a different range of emotions. So there was definitely a lot of how dare you post this like, this is so awful. Like, take this down your feet crying like how could you ever cry on camera. But I just saw hundreds of 1000s of people also commenting and personally DMing me that, wow, I'm going through this, my family member went through this I lost someone to this, you know, I haven't lost them. But it feels like I lost them because they are an alcoholic now or Wow. I've never seen anyone else share about this topic. And I just feel really seen because I thought I was alone in this and people in the comments. I've had people today. Tell me I quit you know, one year ago today, because of your video, wow are like I haven't had the nerve to try to help my family members. So I'm going to send this to them. And then in my emotional intelligence class I took that I ended up moving out here for we did this exercise where you basically had three votes and you got to pick who would live if a boat was going down. And this one guy I hadn't talked to in any part of the course ended up telling me after he gave me his vote and he said, I know exactly who you are. I did not want to tell you because I didn't you know want to make you uncomfortable. But I followed you since you posted about your dad a few months back. And, you know, that is why I followed you. Like that's why I care about your story and what you're sharing. And I think that reality just hit me they're like, Wow, this is someone that it's not just a number in my algorithm. And like the term follow I think can just It's become so any human, it's like, they're they want to keep up with my story and what I'm doing and it's not, you know, it's not because they think I'm hot or something or like, you know, different now you are, thank you, you know, so many different reasons, because I've had a lot of that to have, like, you're only famous because you're hot and like, you know, that's really discouraging, too. But like, wow, this is a person in front of me saying that, like they saw my video and are touched and cared. And also, and that's really emotionally intense, heavy situation in the class, but they chose that I was someone who would live in like, vote with their life to live. So that was really, really emotionally changing. And I felt like I could actually start being vulnerable sometimes on the internet. And so I've gone through phases of definitely not talking about my dad to coming back around and talking about it. And I usually just let it ebb and flow to where, like, I just made a post the other day because my dad started showing up and made dreams again. And it just felt like, okay, now's the time to talk about it more. And actually, a few months ago, it was his birthday. And I went for a run and I hadn't run in so long and running used to be really my go to therapeutic way to move through my emotions. And I went for a run, I decided to film it. And I was just so upset and didn't know what I was going to do. But I just heard this one song, like I said, you know, just hearing the song and knowing all of a sudden, what I'm gonna do in made a video like clipping up, you know, the running footage, and then my dad, they're running footage, and then my dad, they're running footage, and then my dad posted it. And that one also went super viral. And you know, this time too, I really decided to stand for something like the end I said, and I won't stop talking about it. And so many people were just like, wow, I never knew like, you know, the way he looks with liver cirrhosis, and his eyes are yellow and his hands are yellow. Like I've never seen anyone else share that, like that is so painfully detailed to my exact trauma in my life. You know, I think that's why people watch certain movies and read certain books is just a feel that they're not alone in that. And you know, that one, it felt really good to move through creatively and people really resonated with it. Like so many people have reposted it and reshard it to their stories, I always have so many people reach out and DM me about it. But every time I'm scared, and I'm like, do I really want to, you know, share the side of myself? Does this make me weak? Does this make me like a cry baby? I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry. For me, that is the last thing I'm trying to do. But I think you know, we talked about having a foundation if you're going to go into social media, and I think an important part of your foundation is knowing what do you stand for? What is your mission? Because if someone says, you know, take this down, like why are you doing this, this is awful. I know that if this saves one person, then it was worth it. I

Alina: 48:37

love that. I think so many people are unfortunately like I actually went on a bit of a rant about this. But so many people are just gaining a lot of internet popularity just by showing off their designer or like flexing their nice things and really not giving much else aside from that. But their follower account is growing. People just want to see them do more unboxing and the set on the other. I highly commend you for coming out and showing like the ugly parts of life because lo and behold, you didn't know this, but so many other people found it helpful to see that and people who are just going through actually real things.

Unknown: 49:15

I heard something the other day that said like, I think one in four people grow up with an alcoholic. Okay, and I think that's extremely, extremely startling. Because, yeah, I mean, I don't know about you, but I didn't really hear people talk about like dealing with alcoholic family members. But whenever I sit down, and it's small group, like two to three people, and we end up talking about this. Almost always at least one of them has someone in their family who's been affected. Like it's all around. It's all right there and people you know, if we're not talking about it, like we're pushing that down, we're storing it in our bodies and into becoming a blockage. It's becoming a point for disease and illness is not being processed. And it just becomes a literal weight. So I think just paying, sharing it bringing awareness Oh, another two, that was crazy. There were so many nurses in the comments who said like, I, you know, I've watched patients die from this, and it's also the most like slow, painful death I've ever seen. And then also people like, yeah, you know, everyone thinks you have to be in your 50s maybe for this to get you or later. But we've seen 20 year olds die of liver failure, well, 20 from drinking. And there were people in the comments to like, oh, well, did he die of you know, Alcohol overdose, like, that's how people die from drinking. And they don't even know that no other. Like, that's not the only way is to just OD on it, that it's literally slowly killing you over time and deteriorating your organs. It's a neurotoxin. And so even a little drink here and there, like it adds up. And also, people are like, oh, you know, he must have been drinking handles and handles like I have a beer every day after work or, you know, have a couple cold ones every day. And it doesn't mean anything. And it's like, no one beer is equivalent to one shot. And so if you're having a few are taking down their own six pack or 12 pack or whatever, like every day, or even you know, people are like I just drink on the weekends like it gets to you. Does, like you meet people who drink or don't drink, and you can see it in their eyes, you can see it in their skin and their face, in their activity level as to. Right, exactly. I'm just really trying to get more awareness on the fact of like, you know, it's a decision. I think, in general, a lot of people don't know that they can decide things for themselves, and they just follow what they're shown and what they're told to do. And I think this is one of them that we've just been programmed and conditioned in every movie, every TV show, every commercial, every social media post about how it's fun to party that, you know, if you're at an event, you get a drink, like that's what you do. And so I think that's what the term super curious really means to me is, you know, you don't have to come out and say you're going a full sober, like, you don't have to, you know, commit, but you can be curious about your decision of saying no to it sometimes.

Alina: 52:42

Exactly. Exactly. One thing about you is that you're definitely, but anyway, you're you're definitely on the younger end of my friends. And I was very surprised to discover how in tune you are with your feminine energy. So I was just curious, can you talk a little bit about kind of how you discovered healed your feminine energy? And because like, I don't know, if that's really something that people in your age group are more into now than I was when I was, you know, in college and that age group, it was very, very feminist oriented, and very, like independent woman, High Achiever type of things. So, yeah, like, let's just talk about your journey with your feminine energy.

Unknown: 53:29

Yeah, I mean, this could also easily be its whole episode on its own, there's been a lot to it. But I would start with by saying, you know, growing up, because my dad wasn't president, it was always, you know, work, work, work, get the job, get the career. And that's what I always thought my value was. And I'm very grateful that my partner Jack encouraged me to start looking into healing my feminine energy, and made me feel comfortable and safe and taken care of, to the point that I could relax for the first time in my life a little bit and no, like, I don't have to do it all myself and I can take off all that armor. It really started there. But it's definitely been a gradual journey of, you know, allowing myself to feel these different things and be perceived these different ways. And in that emotional intelligence class, a lot of my feedback was cold ice queen loner, disconnected. Like just cut off bitch. And my whole life, I think I just I just closed off everything and said, I can't feel it. Like I'm so strong, you know, I'll never shed a tear and totally I just removed myself completely from my emotions and thus I had no friends and it kind of just became a self perpetuating then believing, Oh, girls don't like me and I don't have girlfriends and just became this whole thing. And once I started allowing, and it was like a self fulfilling Yeah.

Alina: 55:15

All of this actually became the reality, right.

Unknown: 55:19

And the more we repeat it to ourselves, like, the more it just becomes ingrained. And so in that class, I learned to step into something new. And I became committed to allowing myself to feel and to process those things, and to start affirming that, you know, I am this new way and like, people love me and my tribe, my girlfriends are coming and they will come and know I love you Alina. Like, really? And so we've been going to dinners with that's

Alina: 55:53

now that's literally what I was thinking this summer, too, because I've been in San Diego about two years now. And like, yes, I've met people through Sam, my husband, but like, it's different when you make your own friends, you know, like my connections. And this summer, too. I was really kind of feeling like, Yes, I have, like people that I don't I know. And like, you know, could hang out with if it came down to it. But I just didn't feel like I had my community. But I had someone telling me that Oh, like no, like, you're you have a whole new friend group on the way. So I really held on to that for like, only a couple months, but I kept writing about it. So I was like, I'm so grateful for like my uplifting, creative, funny friend group. And that's truly and just like feeling the emotions from that right, like and feeling how I would feel around those types of friends. And then yeah, that's just really how I feel when we get together, we go and do stuff with our friends. And yeah, it's been really, really good. And I know like here, you wanted to talk about how you know you were an awkward, lonely person for a lot of your life. But now you're finding your girlfriends and things of such nature, I just relate so much. This

Unknown: 57:05

just really drove a connection in my mind. And have you ever heard people give the relationship advice of, you know, like, stop looking for the man and focus on who you are first and become the vibrational match. I'd like to realize being the friend that you were looking for, yes, like, I think that's really what happened is I started taking time to hang out with myself. And, you know, do my self love activities in journaling and really understand who I am. And, you know, what do I love to do? And last year, when I did my New Year's declarations, you know, I declared new things that I never even thought about when I really sat and asked my inner child like, what is it I want to do? But you know, I started free diving. And you know, just went out and thought this isn't realistic, but who cares and you know, found a group to teach me and got the gear and you know, I've extra gear so now I'll I'll invite friends out as me, or, you know, like, you know, what I could start i surpassing finding the means to make it happen and connecting with that brand and getting it and, you know, inviting friends over to do the ice bath. Or, you know, instead of like, Hey, let's go out, let's get a drink. Like, I'd love to go get a smoothie or go to the beach or filling myself up and deciding what I love to do. And making that so strong that it brings people into my life. And then we get to do these really fun things together. And so instead of waiting, denounce someone invite me to go do something cool. I became the person inviting other people to do things cool. And of course, you know, now I get invited to things too. But, you know, it all started with like me being that match and that type of person I wanted to be and then the other things just started to click and fall into place. I'd also say I DM girls don't feel scared to reach out especially, you know, everyone DMS and slides into DMS for dating. Like why can't we slide into the DMS and be like, Hey, you're cute girl similar vibes in my area. Like let's hang out and, you know, they don't always work out. But I think that's also a totally great way. I mean, that's how I met Lincoln. Alex. Yeah. Is damning. Alex for a couple months before she even moved here. Yeah.

Alina: 59:40

And then that night that I met Alex and kind of got to know you a bit better. I was literally just, I'm telling you, I had nothing going on that Friday, and I just just had the impulse to just text you and ask you what you were doing. You know what I mean? Because I was also like, Lena, you can't expect that people are just gonna all of a sudden like think of you to invite you to So you have to like, reach out and ask them what they're doing and see if they're, you know, if they're doing anything fun if he can, like plug into it. And that's just the reality of being in any sort of relationship, friendship, platonic romantic, like, you have to put yourself out there. And you have to ask for what you want. Because like, you can't just sit on your butt and expect things to happen to you or volunteer to get out and ask. So

Unknown: 1:00:23

make it happen. Yeah, I remember I really was so hyped about that, too, because I was always the one reaching out to people. And you texted me? And I was like, this is perfect.

Alina: 1:00:34

Yeah, yeah, no one great. Is there anything else that you want to talk about with the Creator journey, especially like the agency journey, tick tock ads, working with other creators being a creator? And then also just how, how does it stretch you to be the best version of yourself? Because I think, you know, online creators, they get a lot of flack for, like, all the bad things that can happen, you know, from that type of work, but like, let's highlight, how does it actually stretch you, and helps you become a better person? Yeah,

Unknown: 1:01:08

I'd say first of all, it just really opened so many doors and open the world. Like in high school, I took every single hard AP class possible, and I was going to be a surgeon, because I knew that that made the most money I could conceive of, and that you know, how to deal with helping people and they did like that, like healing. But looking on that now, I wouldn't have been so miserable. Like, I'm so happy, I didn't not end up doing that. Like this ray, you know, I get to be creative, like making videos is so much fun. The way that I'm also, you know, you said you have a large age friend group. So do I and, you know, I'll hang out with people who are extremely successful. And I'm, you know, kind of in the same room as them seen as kind of like, on the same level as them because of the following, which I really expected it to have that. I mean, it's not like people are bowing down, like, Oh, my God, you're an influencer. But they see you as you know, if I didn't have some big career, you know, it wouldn't be on the same level. So it's a, it's opened a lot of doors that way. But also in the way that, you know, I am blessed to have that ice baths and have that brand deal. And you know, it's like an $8,000 thing. And I would not have gone and bought that on my own. And a lot of people might not have decided to do that with their extra income unless they were maybe in their 40s or taking their health extremely seriously. So I've also gotten to have that, and like red light therapy and other things in my house because of brand deals. So extremely thankful. I'm also about to go to a festival in Fiji. That's been a couple weeks about that, which amazing, I've never been to a festival and I tell you Elena at the manifesting the limiting beliefs. The second I went from thinking, why did these other influencers get to go on brand trips, and not me, like for me, I really I find myself in that doom loop. But I'm like, That's stupid. I then said, like, you know, I'm so grateful to do what I love, and you get to travel just because everything works out in my favor, and it comes easily. And really, like two weeks later, I got the email about the Fiji thing and I'm like, wow, that's insane. And my really good other creator friend in Newport Blaine is going which I don't even understand how that's happening and how it's real. But I'll keep you guys updated on how that goes. And they have yoga and meditation and like holistic activities. So it's so I love that's amazing. And you know, doing those brand deals and is messaging to I feel like sales has really pushed me outside my comfort zone of learning, you know, especially going from someone who couldn't talk to people at a function and like try to make friends to going and you know, reaching out to complete strangers and enrolling them and who I am. And like what I stand for and what other people know I stand for and that they want their product aligned with me and me putting it out to the world. So it takes you know, the self love the speaking the complete belief and faith in yourself. Yeah, totally.

Alina: 1:04:42

And I also think that being an online creator also gives you this level of self awareness that you have to become really comfortable with that it's not uncomfortable, right like because you get turned

Unknown: 1:04:53

down. Yeah, you get down you

Alina: 1:04:55

get rejected. You also get constant feedback, mostly negative feedback. I this is wrong with her hair. This is wrong with her face, you know, but yeah, it just forces you to have this super high level of self awareness that even I would say even with this podcast, you know, I, I listen to these episodes so that I can know what to work on the next time that I record, you know, it is nerve wracking, but at the same time, I think that it just breeds a level of gross that's like really good for you, you know, to have to like look back on your might be making a tick tock, you said embrace the cringe, right? Yeah, embrace the cringe. Like, who cares what people are gonna say about it, you have to do something crunchy, because eventually it stops. Gradually, it stops being crunch.

Unknown: 1:05:39

And I feel like they cringe is just that part of people that there's a secret, you know, their inner artist is jealous that they're not, you know, expressing their creativity in whatever way it is. That's a good way to put it. So you have to let the crunch beat fell. I mean, I'll tell you how many people talked shit on my tic tock until the follower count really started going up? And then it was how do I do that? Right,

Alina: 1:06:06

then it's just speaking for itself. Well, is there anything left that you want to accomplish for 2023, from your personal goals, your business goals, anything that you're wanting to get done before the year closes? I know, for me, I started out with a bunch of intentions for 2023. Some of them I've already achieved some of them, I've changed my mind on that I don't want to accomplish that I've just lived enough of this year to understand that I actually don't need that, you know, or don't want it. So I'm not gonna go out of my way to make it happen. But I know there's a few things that I still want to get better out this summer, I was very good on my routine, working out eating just being healthy, then I mean, this fall, I wouldn't say I'm the most proud of myself. So definitely for the end of November, I want to crack down on that health routine. And then for December, I just want to basically like check off all of my boxes from that 2023 intentions list. And either, like, know that I got those things done, or that I changed my mind about them.

Unknown: 1:07:05

So it's sort of I feel you with that. It's really funny, you mentioned the whole routine thing, because I've actually been building out a 30 day course, about, you know, uncovering your truths and who you are and what you need to release and what you need to embrace. And then it's mostly centered around setting your routine and building out your habit tracker, and doing those exact habits that are gonna lead you to success, and then also goes into some more of the, okay, now now you're on track. Here's some extra biohacking life, prolonging longevity tools, stuff like that, that's kind of extra cream and cheese on the top, so to speak. But I find myself having the same conversation. So people over and over about my health recommendations, my routines, my habits, and with all my content, talking about it, I thought, you know, why not actually have a really, you know, do this each day, 30 days is not that long of a commitment at all. But it's enough time to actually I think it's three weeks, 21 days, so even shorter, three weeks to start new habits is also the scientific number around there. So I thought, you know, why not have something more hands on hand holding, you're committed to it, you're told exactly what you need to do each day. Because that's what really changed me last year. I think it's actually my second or first YouTube video on my YouTube channel out there right now is I used to use a Google Sheets habit tracker. And that really started changing my life. I'm now a notion user. I know we're geeking out about notion. But definitely habit tracking is life changing and can immediately turn the ship around and put you in a new direction. If you think about, you know, I want to be the most famous guitar player and it's like, Okay, what does that guitar player do every day and become him. You

Alina: 1:09:21

have to project yourself into the future and that's an art in and of itself. But if you can do it, you can literally make your life become that.

Unknown: 1:09:28

Right and so start being that and acting like that. And then you know, day by day, it'll add up and one day you'll be like, Oh, here we are. I am that person. 100% starts with habits starts at the foundation. Yeah. So

Alina: 1:09:44

I'm really glad that you came on to talk about how to retain your humanity and still take care of yourself even though the internet wants to eat all of us up and consume every last bit of us till we are nothing but it's just super important to take time off. for that and like I don't know I'm trying to have a healthier relationship with Instagram so I've had it actually auto post my stuff for me so yeah yeah it's been working pretty well and I don't get too sucked into it

Unknown: 1:10:14

how to be an influencer without losing your soul

Alina: 1:10:17

Yeah Get it Get a robot to post for you and there you go but thank you so much for coming on and talking about your journey being a creator the behind the scenes that don't really get talked about much and you can be found at Nike dot nicer so n i K Ki dot and e i s l e r on Instagram and Tiktok right? Yes, so you guys follow her. She also puts a lot of sober curious content but also posts really good ideas for things to do around San Diego and Southern California. So if you're local to this area, or even if you're coming down for a visit for vacation, you can find really good restaurants or just activities to do on her social medias. So thank you so much for coming on.

Unknown: 1:11:06

Thank you so much for having

Alina: 1:11:09

don't forget to follow on Instagram at stellar cycles pod. We have all sorts of graphics on there for you guys. We have videos on how to make certain foods for your cycle phases. And you can also download our free grocery guide it's in the link in our bio you can follow it depending on whatever phase you're at in your cycle and buy groceries for that specific phase eating the foods that support your hormones and your bodily processes. Also, please give us a five star rating if you enjoyed this podcast and I also love to read any reviews that you guys leave for me until then spread the good word about stellar cycles to your fellow women and let's all elevate our lives, cycles and dreams together. Till next time stellar cycles out