The Alina Edit
Curating your best life, one edit at a time.
Welcome to the Alina Edit. This is your go-to guide to optimize your life for beauty, balance, and becoming your best self. This show touches on topics covering the betterment of your relationships, wellness, habits, and personal style to lead you in actively creating the best version of you, on your terms.
The Alina Edit
how meditation heals anxiety & depression w/ Niki Van Houten
Warning: This episode contains mentions of suicide.
Niki Van Houten is a transformational coach, spiritual guide, and holistic therapist. She supports people to identify and remove mental and emotional blocks to break free from limitations and embody their higher self using meditation.
We do a deep dive about meditation to answer all these questions and more: How did meditation originate? Does it matter when you meditate? What about meditation apps? Are meditation retreats worth it? What do you say to people who are like “meditation doesn’t work (for me)”? Why is meditation so important?
Follow her on social media @itsnikivan
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Hello everyone and welcome back to the stellar cycles podcast, your hot girl database for all things we wish we were taught, but get to learn together now everything pertaining to your femininity, your cycle and wellness and your walk in life as a woman. I'm your host Alina, and today we're talking about addressing the most common questions around meditation. The goal of today's episode is to disperse any confusion or lack of information around the subject as it can be somewhat difficult to grasp. Because it's so commonly misperceived, you are going to learn about how to fall in love with being alone, the importance of distinguishing loneliness from solitude, how meditation began and has held significance across many cultures, the mechanisms of how it helps your brain sleep and ability to be present and make something good out of something bad. And on top of it all my guests leads us through a lovely guided meditation towards the end. First off a few updates. I really don't have much for you guys. I feel like when life is going as it should, I mean, no planets are in retrograde right now everything seems to just be flowing forward without any resistance. And I mean, enjoy it while you can, right if there's anything we've learned about life is that Nothing ever stays the same. So I'm really appreciating this season of quiet. And I do know that it's also a season of waiting for some in different ways than others. And for me, I'm definitely sitting on a few things that I want to make sure that I make the right decision for if that makes sense. But aside from that, I've just been working on things such as my home, I've been kind of redoing my bathroom. And by that I mean making it more functional and pretty to me because every time that I'm done getting ready in there, it's a literal warzone and I have a tendency to just leave all my products out and I just don't think that the way that my bathroom looks physically represents how organized I feel as a person so I do need to attack that and get it under control so that it can serve me in the best way. And so when I go in there I can really feel like my sanctuary everything is beautiful, but at the same time set up for me to succeed and my morning routine and my evening routine, so on and so forth. So I will have an update for you guys next week on how it all turned out. Along with that I have had a generally healthy symptom free luteal phase. I am expecting my period anytime soon, like any day now grow. You're welcome. Come through please. But aside from now I've I've really been incorporating the luteal phase foods this time around because I know even in just one cycle, it can really turn things around for your period. So I've been crunching on radishes dipping on hummus, dipping celery sticks, oranges, carrot sticks into hummus. And I've been finding ways to incorporate even a little bit of that into every day doesn't have to happen at every meal, usually around lunch for me, but I've just found that I've been feeling so so good. And it's all stemming from what I choose to put in my body. Crazy, right like completely mind blowing. And I held a gallon tines party for my friends. It was so much fun. I went for the mob wife theme. I kind of had seen like enough of just the pink and girly vibe. And I was like hey, how about if we do something different so I got this idea. And when I tell you the girls were so stoked, and I was stoked with how it came out. My friend Alexia helped me set everything up. It took us about two hours. And if I had done it by myself, it would have taken three times as long but I'm just finding that I love party planning. I love going and sourcing all the cool things that we need to really bring the vibe together and make it feel special. And then of course setup and execute. It's really become a passion of mine. So let's see where that goes. We did little heartshaped pizzas. We had such great conversations. Every single girl that came to my gallon tines was a vibe. Like there's no weird energy, everyone was able to talk to everyone else. We shared hilarious stories. And towards the end, we had a dancing cleanup party where I mean, I don't know I never expect my guests to clean up for me but the fact that the girls offered before heading out was like oh my gosh, like you're this amazing. That's it was just great. So we put on some you consider it old music but really it was like 2019 2020 music before the pandemic and before everything went crazy. And we were just literally my friend Nikki was sweeping and Old Town road was playing in the back and it was just such a vibe and some of us even hung out to like 130 in the morning just sitting on my couches and talking it was really the best ever I'm I'm just so grateful for my group of friends because it wasn't always like this. So if you feel that you're missing out on a group like this or you're really missing out on your career Unity just continue putting yourself in places and around things that you generally enjoy, right? We don't want to pretend to be someone we're not just for the approval and the belonging to fit into a group. So continue doing the things you love and staying true to that. And believe me, the people who love those same things and who are going to love you will just gravitate towards you. Let's get into this episode. My guest today is Nikki Van Houten. She is a transformational coach, spiritual guide and Holistic Therapist. Powered by a love of seeing others create a life beyond their wildest dreams. She supports people to identify and remove mental and emotional blocks to break free from limitations and embody their higher self since 2019. Her work and retreats one on one coaching and group containers has supported hundreds of clients to liberate themselves follow their soul's calling unlock their infinite potential, and express their most authentic true selves. In her coaching practice. She uses a diverse range of modalities and tools such as hypnotherapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming, parts work, somatic therapy, breathwork, sound healing and numerous others. She is unwavering in her commitment to personal growth, making a positive impact on the world, and empowering others to do the same. So you guys, let's welcome Nikki to the podcast. Yay.
Unknown:Hi. I met Nikki,
Alina:thank you. Thanks for coming on. I met Nikki at book club. And you guys know I mentioned book club relentlessly. And the amount of people that I have quality people that I have met through book club who have been as guests on the show has just been really, really cool. And Nikki really stood out to me at book club because she was kind of responsible for leading us in meditations at some of the meetings and kind of getting everyone grounded and centered for our discussions and just for the time that we were spending together and I thought what better person to have come on the podcast to talk to us about meditation. So welcome, Nikki,
Unknown:thank you for having me. I'm excited to have this conversation. Book Club has been a great way to connect with like minded individuals. Oh my goodness, so important to be in community with aligned people. Aligned
Alina:is a key word. Yeah. Well, do you want to give us a little bit about your background? Kind of how you grew up? Yeah.
Unknown:So I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, and New Fairfield, Connecticut. And I have three older half sisters, but they're like 1015 years older. So pretty much an only child of my my mom and dad. And yeah, grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other, and not a lot of diversity. Like pretty much Caucasian people. That's it. That was it. And I, I always felt like since I was younger, I never fit in, you know that I was bogus, weird, and just yeah, not not normal, not average. And I really learned to that that's actually my superpower. My uniqueness. And that I was we're not we're not born to fit in. We tried, we tried to write we want to be loved and accepted. And so I just see throughout my childhood and middle school and high school, and even college, I was playing this game of like, always trying to fit in and be the cool girl and the life of the party. And you know, these masks that we wear throughout our life, like I can clearly see those masks that I wore as mechanisms to fit in and be loved and accepted. Right? So I have compassion for my younger self. And yeah, I grew up super athletic like played every score in high school varsity captain of three sports, I was a mascot my senior year. Like I very, I've always been very social. And I think that's also one of my gifts is just connecting with people.
Alina:Which has to be I would assume a bit of a struggle, you know, like being the social person and not feeling like you have a group to find belonging in right. Would you say that? It's it's more of like a primal biological need for us to like fit in with a tribe like for survival?
Unknown:Oh, definitely. I think that it's a innate instinct to want to be in community. And actually, if you look at the Blue Zones in throughout the world, which are concentrations of people who live past 100 years old, the number one commonality between these blue zones is community. Right. So I think for me, up until the last five years, like my whole life, I was wearing these masks, like a mask of the party girl or a mask of perfectionism or Ask of having my shit all together, you know. So it was as though everyone in my life, they weren't truly friends with me for me. So I think a lot of us do this, we put on these masks and we're like, this is me. And then I was always in community, you know, like you said, it couldn't be lonely or you said, isn't hard to be so social, but not feel like you fit in? Yes, actually, that was the most depressed and anxious I was when I actually had the most friends. And I'd be at parties. yachts are surrounded by hundreds of people. And I felt so alone, because it was not people that were aligned with my values and my vision. And I wasn't showing up as my authentic self.
Alina:Yeah, it's almost like you just wanted to have friends for the friends, but we don't really assess like, okay, are they aligned? Do they add to our life?
Unknown:Yeah, yeah. And can I be my true self? My friends now, like, I think call them when I'm having a really hard day. You know, and I think that's important, is like, can you be your full self to the fullest expression of your self, your authentic self? You know,
Alina:I mean that. So how did this kind of transition you into your young adult years and then kind of like what you're doing now? How did you end up here? Yeah,
Unknown:so after high school, I actually moved to Florida. I went to Florida State and my degree, there was elementary education. And so my, my sister and my brother in law, they work with kids and elementary school districts. And I guess grandmas, oh, they're happy. And I always loved working with kids. You know, I did summer camps. And I was a nanny and worked at a preschool. And so I was like, Okay, this is my purpose. You know, like, this is what I'm here to do. And so went that route, elementary education. And then after college, and my minor was, was psychology. So it was interesting, because I had that like, nudge to go that route. And then after college, I moved to Thailand, and I taught English. And that changed my life. I was there for a whole year, almost a year and traveled to eight countries by myself. Like that was the most time I had, I was alone. Like I was the first time I was really alone. No, and traveling alone, eating alone, and
Alina:said uncomfortable at first. Yeah,
Unknown:it was so uncomfortable. Very, yeah, very uncomfortable. I remember I called my parents telling them I was like, so homesick. And I just wanted to, I wanted to leave. And I'm so grateful for my parents pushing me and being like, stick it through, you got this. And so I'm very grateful for my parents, they've always pushed me to lean into the resistance, especially my father. And so and it was tough because I was in a fisherman's village in Thailand, where, like, I was this tall, blond, white girl, you know, so I was like an alien. But it was a really beautiful experience, being able to travel and teach children. And then towards the end, I actually got into a motorbike accident, which was a near death experience. And it was more about that. Yeah, so actually, the number one cause of death in Thailand is remote. It's pretty common. But I at the time, I was really into partying, drinking a lot doing drugs, like recreational party drugs, and yeah, not to a motorbike accident, and really was a big wake
Alina:up call for me, during your time alone in Thailand, when did you start finding the good and being alone? And I
Unknown:think I'm actually relearning that right now. And the season I'm in is how can we fall in love with being alone? You know, so I think that a lot of people experience loneliness. And I think it was embracing that, you know, like, just allowing myself to feel the loneliness and remind myself that I'm not alone. I think we think we're alone. But we're not like we're always connected to everyone and everything. And I think that's honestly what has led me on a spiritual journey, a spiritual path of like, feeling this connection with the universe with with God, with all with everyone. I would say that after a few months in, that's when I really was like, Oh, I actually really love spending time with myself. And so I think that that's an invitation for a lot of people is like, how can you learn to enjoy your own company? You know, like, Take yourself I call them solo dates. So you ello and just go and take yourself on a day by yourself flower makes you feel so
Alina:good for anyone who hasn't tried doing that or if you think that you need a special someone to do this for you know, it feels so good. Just like showering yourself with love. Yeah,
Unknown:I've been moving through and uncoupling the last four months and it's like we were So, merge, you know, are so intertwined. And so recently I did a dance class by myself and I did a singing lesson and just been like doing my art. So finding new hobbies, like learning more about myself.
Alina:Do you think that a lot of people in today's society get tripped up on loneliness versus solitude because loneliness can cause us to die if we feel too if we feel lonely if we don't have contact with the world, but at the same time, there's solitude, which means a healthy way of spending alone time. Yeah,
Unknown:I think that if whatever your default has been, do the opposite. I think that a lot of expansion comes from doing the opposite of what we would normally do. So for example, my default has always been to be around people, or my default has been in relationship, romantic relationships to be doing everything together, right. So I'm feeling into right now actually a season of solitude, being alone of not because in the past, I would break up and then go right into the next relationship. And so it's like, okay, that's what I normally would do. Right? And that's what's easy for me. But what would be that what would be challenging? What would like where's the resistance? Because that's where a lot of times the growth is in the expansion.
Alina:Yeah, I'm so glad you bring that up. Because I have also been finding the same to be true for me. And I will need to find which book of mine I read this in, I really do. But the thought kind of is that it's actually easier for our brains, our brains are actually wired to swing from one side to the extreme opposite other instead of trying to make tiny little gradual changes towards that other ideas. So if you feel like something's not working out for you try the exact opposite. You know, it might work out for you. Yeah. And I
Unknown:think there's a quote, I forget who says it, but it's like, the areas in your life where you're avoiding, like, that is a portal for expansion. So it's like, what am I avoiding in my life? Yes. Where is there resistance? And how can we enter that?
Alina:There's definitely a few things I'm avoiding right now. And it's self accountability, not in the way of like, Oh, I'm doing something bad and I to be accountable for it. It's like, I have an entire system that can help me track my goals, my progress, whether I'm doing those things every day, I just can't bring myself to log in and look at it, you know, because I don't know why I'm scared of it. But it's like, no, this tool is right here. You just need to use it. It'll help you reach your goals, you have to see what you're doing wrong and assess certain things.
Unknown:I love that you share that because a lot of us know what we need to do. One of my clients this week was like, Ah, I know I need this thing. And I haven't been doing it. So I'm like, Okay, well, why not? Like what's what's underneath that resistance? Right? What's underneath that. And I think sometimes just by committing and doing it, it's like, we build that
Alina:self trust. Yeah. And even though I'm not logging into my little database, where I'm supposed to be tracking all this stuff, at least I have built up confidence over the past few weeks, turning away from some of my bad habits that were taking a lot of my time and my money and my energy and focus or like setting up more of a solid evening and morning routine, so that I'm equipped during the day to actually focus on the things that need to get done. You know, it's like you kind of build your way up to it. You can't do everything all at once. So you are a transformational coach. Now right back
Unknown:into Yeah, so how I got into this space, so got into the motorbike accident, near death experience changed the trajectory of my life. Two weeks later, a buddy from college reached out and was like, Nicky, you can talk to anyone. We're selling solar panels in the bay area we're making like, what, 15 20k months, and I was like, oh my god, this is probably and it was door to door sales. And so that was like the scariest thing I can imagine doing. So I was like, Alright, I'm gonna do it. If I do this, I can do anything. That's how I feel about sales. Yeah, oh my god and door to door was gnarly. So did that for I was in the solar space for almost four years, and I did door to door I manage a sales team of all guys. Then I got into like the lead gen marketing space, selling leads and booked appointments, solar companies. And at that time, I was lost. I was depressed. I was anxious. I was burnt out. And I'm very grateful for that experience. I learned and grew so much. And also I was so disconnected. I think a lot of women nowadays are very disconnected from their feminine because we're in this patriarchal society that's like pushing us to to compete with men. And that's why when people are like, oh man and women are equal. And it's like, no, there's a difference between equality and this sameness, right? Yes, we're not the same as Yeah,
Alina:we might be equal in our worth and value as human beings but are we equal in our capabilities, our mentality He just even our biology is the biggest
Unknown:part. Because we have more cycles every month we go through, man, it's just every day they go, go go, and not the same men, but I think also they need to rest and listen totally.
Alina:But I think they're better equipped for stress in ways that women are just not Yes. Or
Unknown:they take more consistent action. Right. So I think at that time, I was disconnected from my body and I was just in hustle grind mode, which again, very grateful for but I think women will stop getting their period,
Alina:there's always consequences there are and then we're literally taught, it's crammed down our throats, that the consequences are normal. And I mean, listen, I could talk about this all day. This is what my podcast is about. But I think the biggest thing apart being out of touch with our femininity is like we're out of touch with our wounds were taught that period is bad, it's gross that needs to be stuffed down. And that's just my goal for all women is to reconnect with everyone because that's where your superpower flows from
Unknown:our intuition as well. Like women were said such intuitive beings and creative beings. So yeah, so I was in the solar space in a really really dark place. And then actually one of the communities I was like knocking doors in was a gated community I like jumped the fence is like this private community with as like, if I get this mansion Novia commission, I just need the one right. And so I knock on this, this beautiful home. And this Australian man brings me in, he's like, Would you like to come in, and I looked to my right, and there's a goddess that comes walking out. And she's like, I'm Alexandra Troy Smith, and that ended up being my first coach there. Okay, and so she, she really helped me get out of a dark, that dark place. And immediately, once I got to the other side, I was like, I want to learn this, you know, and I want to help others. You know, I think a lot of us that are on a path of service, we've kind of had our own hero's journey, you know, we've been through our own show. And we've turned our pain into our purpose, we've turned our pain into our power. And so for me, it's like I've been through trauma. And when I was in, when I was depressed and anxious, I was suicidal as well. And so my mission is to make sure people that are going through that they don't feel alone, going back to the loneliness that they don't feel alone, and that they feel supported and loved, and helping someone be able to come out the other side.
Alina:I love that. I mean, it's, it's really like God really took you through all of those events to not only orange you into the person that you're meant to be, but also to help others who are dealing with the same pain, you know, because I do think also pain has a purpose to in showing us that what other people are capable of feeling if we can find a solution, and we're able to help others, right,
Unknown:that's it's my favorite part about being a transformational coach, spiritual guide, healer, whatever, you whatever you want to call me, is that anytime I'm going through something in my life, I am learning and I'm embodying those, those lessons, right? And I'm teaching from them lens of the path that I'm walking. And it's so cool, because a lot of times, I'll attract people, whatever I'm going through my life. So right now I'm going through a breakup. And right now a lot of my clients are going through breakups, or they're experiencing a lot of heartbreak and grief. And so it's cool this like mirror mirroring effect.
Alina:I'm gonna ask you a question about that. And then we'll kind of get into meditation, specifically, but can you find a common ground or a common thread between all this breaking up? That's happening right now? Do you think people are ascending or what? What is it? What
Unknown:do I think it is in the collective right now? Yeah, I think that a lot of people right now are definitely like you said, ascending and waking up. And I think, I think a big thing, too, is like living authentically. living authentically, what does that mean? I think people are like, this doesn't feel like this is helping me be my true self or the most authentic version of myself, or I think people are in their relationships really reflecting on is this aligned with my values? Is this aligned with my
Alina:vision? Yeah, I think that kind of going back to what you were saying about putting on all these masks to appease certain groups of people, I think people do that even more so in relationships, and then they find themselves Oh, wow, I don't like this person. I don't like the things that we've been doing. And I've just been pretending to oh, wait, you know, but they do that out of the need to feel love and feel belonging, but it's like, no, you just got to be yourself, which is so much easier said than done. And that's the only way you can attract, you know, the alignment. Yeah. And
Unknown:I think there's two sides of this spectrum I'm going to share about so One is we live right now in a society of we're programmed of more and more and more and more this consumer society of more and more and more better, better, better. And so I think one end of the spectrum is that and people, they think, Oh, the grass is greener on the other side, and they're so quick to dip and so quick to, especially with the dating apps, and social media, it's like this is this relationship is, is challenging, or it's messy. Oh, but I have all these girls on social media. So illusion of endless choice. It's like this illusion. And then people don't realize, oh, relations, chips are hard. When they're not, they're not meant to be easy, especially if you're both growing and like your shit is going to come up totally on your wounds, or all of it is going to come up.
Alina:And like you said, like, the societal programming has a lot to do with that, too. Because we're taught that love is supposed to always only feel good, yes. Or
Unknown:we're taught that you with the person you want to spend your life with. They're like, Oh, this is my person. Oh, my God. But I think that what we don't talk about enough is there will be moments of questioning, there will be moments of uncertainty, or there will be moments of like, wobbling from one person or both people, right? I'm going through that right now my partner. But it's like, can you have that commitment, where even when you're in the wobble, even when you're in the questioning, you still come back to that commitment. Right? And, you know, actually make you stronger and bring you closer together. The pro side of that is that people are not settling. You know, like, I look at my
Alina:generation and my sisters, the older siblings
Unknown:are siblings. And I'm like, they're settling, you know, because they didn't have many options. There wasn't this abundance, like it was like, Oh, I bet you remember is that right?
Alina:It's a small town mentality to and for some people. It works. For some people it works, but I don't think you truly get to explore like compatibility really, you know?
Unknown:Yeah, so there's pros and cons to that, right. And I and I love that people aren't settling. You know, like, I love when people own what they desire and want. And if they're not getting that they have the courage to walk away, you know, and be like, I'm worthy of what I desire. Totally. Sometimes we feel guilty of naming what we desire, flaunt, or, as someone who's lean more towards anxious attachment, there can be a guilt of feeling needy of like, oh, no, when I express my needs, is that me being anxious and Clinton needy and clingy. But it's like, no, we have every right to express what we need. Right? Yeah. And at the same time, give ourselves what we need as well, totally,
Alina:totally. But if you're gonna have someone in your life, then they need to be cognizant of your needs. And you need to be expressive of your needs. Because yeah, because no one's going to be reading your mind. Really, by the
Unknown:way, should we learn? We want that? Oh, yeah,
Alina:but I'll tell you, I am really glad to see a lot of women waking up from this conditioning that we've all been under. It's like being afraid to voice their needs being too clingy. I mean, I used to go on dates, and literally be afraid to bring up the fact that I want to be married, you know, and that's just there's nothing wrong with that. So it is a brave stance, but I do think it's a step in the right direction, if you just express what you're looking for, and that type of thing can really help you. Can we get into the meditation? Do we know where meditation originated?
Unknown:Also, it's been around for centuries, 1000s of years in the East. And so we're really playing a game of catch up the West, you know, yeah,
Alina:probably what like Buddha started it. He's meditated under six. Yeah, yeah. And however many years as
Unknown:it's been brought to the west, a lot of these religious undertones have been stripped away, just so that it's easier to mark it
Alina:more palatable to the Westerners Yes. And
Unknown:bulkier, like mindfulness meditation. Okay, so yeah, 1000s of years it's been around
Alina:Can we talk about how meditation actually changes the brain or mentality mindset? So
Unknown:number one is neuroplasticity. So the ability to create new neural pathways, so think of like plastic, so flexible, malleable, so frequent meditators have neuroplasticity, so able to create new neural pathways, and what's
Alina:the opposite of that look like people who have locked in pathways of
Unknown:life, the first person that comes to mind is like older generations, like, very stuck in their ways rigid, it's more like solidified like it's harder to not open to new
Alina:ideas. Yeah,
Unknown:yeah. Whereas if there's neuroplasticity, it's easier to create a programming right so that's like a big modality I use is hypnotherapy and neuro linguistic programming, how to create new programming and new beliefs using neural classic classes with
Alina:hypnotherapy. I mean, I know it works, but how about for some of the listeners who may be have been taught that it's demonic or you know, not good or evil. How would you how would you describe it to them?
Unknown:Yeah, I would say so there's like, most people, when they hear hypnotherapy, they think of maybe like a hypnotist. Right? You cluck like a chicken. So there's that, like that exists, right? But then there's also hypnotherapy where it's honestly like a meditation to be honest, it's I'm guiding someone through a meditation getting them into theta brain state, but depending on what they're trying to program in, so for example, if someone has a belief that they're not good enough, creating new beliefs, that they aren't good enough, or they are worthy, or they are worthy of financial abundance, and wealth and prosperity, so whatever those new beliefs are specifically for them are like, I've helped people heal health stuff act, and that's how I feel my act, autoimmune, depression, anxiety, PTSD, being able to go into the past, if say, you had a traumatic event, when you're younger, going back to that event, and creating a new story, a new meaning. So say the meeting before it was very disempowering, or every time you thought about it, there was like an emotional charge. It's like, how can we go back to rewrite the narrative?
Alina:My gosh, I have chills right now, our ability to alchemize things is, I think, the most untapped power for most people, because it's like, you can really take a thought, a moment, an event, a trauma, and you can be like, what's good about this? And if you can flip it over on its head, you've won, you know what I mean? Yeah, because a lot of these things that I'm so glad that you do incorporate hypnotherapy because so many of our problems stem from our self image. And a lot of times, we're not even aware that like these stories have been fed to us. So yeah, props to people who you're into, or like even aware, even curious about, you know, changing things instead of just taking on the victim mentality, which is very easy to do. But I look at my dad, and I look at his brother who's 13 years older than him, and they have two completely different life paths. And that's because my uncle has always lived out of a victim mentality. And my dad has always lived out of what can I do for other people mentality, you know, two completely different lives. I did want to ask, Can you expound a little bit on the different brainwaves and the brain states and why that
Unknown:is, so when we're in a meditative state, we go into alpha brain state, or theta brain state. So alpha is tied with relaxation and alertness and data is deep, deep relaxation. And another way to think about this is Albert Einstein has a quote, something along the lines of we can't solve problems with the same level of consciousness. And so there's a difference between the upper mind and the lower mind. The lower mind is more logical, analytical thinking. Upper mind is more of that theta brain state when you're totally relaxed, and there's just like, total stillness, and you're just present. And now in the now there's no thinking no thoughts, knots, when insights messages, ideas come through through that upper mind
Alina:which state is when you're asleep? That is delta delta delta. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm guessing it's like delta, when you're sleep, Saito, when you're kind of like coming out of sleep, and your brain hasn't been like infused yet with your environment, then it goes like beta and then alpha, you're the most actually focused and alert. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown:And then when they look at brain scans of people who've been meditating, they did a study with people consistently meditating for eight weeks, and found that there was increased gray matter in areas associated with learning, processing, memory focus. And so those definitely meditation helps with with all of that. And then also, it had an impact on the amygdala, which has to do with emotions and stress and high blood pressure.
Alina:That's our stress center. Right. Yeah, exactly. And
Unknown:also, I love how many studies are coming out right now about this? Because they did one study that showed that actually, your brain goes back like it gets younger. Really interesting. Wow. Yeah, there's a test you can take called your telomere years. So this is like you have your biological age.
Alina:And that's a chronological age.
Unknown:So the same thing you can look at your brain on the health of your brain.
Alina:Oh, yeah, I might have to do that. Have you done it yourself?
Unknown:Get MRI brain scans. Dr. Amon is a brain doctor and talks about meditate, love.
Alina:Dr. Ayman is good. So moving on to the next point prayer versus meditation. How would you address the question of that people say, Oh, I don't need to meditate. I pray can one replace the other or they two completely different things.
Unknown:I think it's whatever is best for the person. You know, someone has a prayer practice. I think that it's very similar. You know, like when I'm meditating I also use that as A way to connect with spirit or spirit guides, angels. And so I think that if someone is praying, then it's it's very similar because the intention, right is to be present and connected. I think if someone though is praying to say someone's praying, and they're thinking, they're like, Oh, I'm praying for this health for my family, and I'm just thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. And that's more outward, I think that it would be beneficial for someone to also have a practice of just like being fully present.
Alina:You know what, that's a good point. Because it's like, if you're constantly transmitting and emitting how are you ever supposed to receive? Yeah, and I think meditation really Prime's the brain for you to to receive those things that you're praying for, that you're sending out the signal, you're letting that signal come back to you. Yes, yeah, exactly.
Unknown:So I think that if you could do both, then your goal. I think meditation also allows you to be with what is what's coming up in the moment.
Alina:Learn to sit in that discomfort, right, instead of trying to flee from it totally. How about meditations effect on sleep to help people sleep better?
Unknown:Definitely, definitely. Yeah, I, I, myself have seen that I've gotten deeper sleep with consistent meditation. And there are studies that show that people get deeper sleep, or they get more amount of time and deep sleep to regenerate. It's getting into that alpha, that theta brain state and getting relaxed, slowly lowering the blood pressure, lowering the heart rate.
Alina:I love throwing out a quick little meditation before I go to sleep, it does have to be literally five or eight minutes because it hurts any longer than that, then I'll fall asleep to it and I won't turn off my lights or anything but I just love it really like a difference transitions you walk us know even with a nighttime routine, you know there's steps to it, I'm trying to get the dog ready for sleep, make sure everything's set up for the next day. And then you know, even if you do avoid screens, and anything very overstimulating like that, still, the wind down routine can still have you have your brain running and thinking so for me, I find that it really helps to slow my brain down after all of that once I'm in bed, and I'm like, Okay, what we're going to do now is asleep. So I did want to touch on meditation and anxiety, depression and other mental conditions. Obviously, you know, if you have anything like this, consult with your doctor first. But I did want to ask you, especially since you brought up the fact that you were suffering from the depression, anxiety, and how did meditation alleviate this for you,
Unknown:oh, my God, and saved my life. I think meditation, like we were just saying, it allows you to be with what is right. And so for me with anxiety is like pushing away, like feeling so much stimulation and so much energy. And I think we're taught with these mental illnesses, emotions to either change it, get rid of it, or fix it. And that actually exacerbates it. It makes it more painful and harder and just like, oh my god, they're just saying what we resist persists. And it just gets bigger and bigger. And so I find with traditional therapy, therapists are so quick to diagnosing and then people are like, oh, there's something wrong with me, I need to get rid of this. I need to change it.
Alina:I'm broken. And then the pharmaceuticals is a whole other aspect of it. Yeah. So I think
Unknown:the biggest shift for me in my journey and then also helping clients to get off pharmaceuticals and heal their depression, anxiety, is just telling, like, like, how can you be a safe space in your body? How can your body be a temple, a sanctuary where whenever emotions arise, you can just be with it and just let it know. You know, it's I feel anxious or I feel sad, I feel angry, and that's okay. Just that sentence alone will change frickin life. Alright, I feel sad and that's okay. Or what's
Alina:what's okay about this? You know, I find that I asked myself that sometimes if I'm getting frazzled or irritated or like it's the anxiety, right? And it's like Alina Sauza. What's good about this right now what's good about situation and yeah, it's forcing yourself to alchemize the moment
Unknown:being with the emotions fully. So I think meditation if you are fully present, some moments like for me, I feel total bliss and peace and love and I am crying tears of joy. And then other moments, I feel sadness and anger and grief and you know, and it's just viewing all of it as beautiful and just feeling it connecting with your body with your heart. And so, I think meditation as well it helps you to be more responsive versus reactive. You know, like being able to feel an emotion or habit see a thought and just kind of see it pass by or know that this emotion is passing. It's temporary
Alina:without immediately clutching at it for attachment right and flaming it, you
Unknown:know, yeah, you're just, instead of reacting, you're responding. And I think that translates into everyday life where you can just be more responsive. You can take a deep breath. And you can just, you know, show up as your best self, you know, instead of reacting and hurting people around you, we don't want to do that. Totally,
Alina:I mean, and then never gives you the outcome that you're wanting. Ever when you react to that. I
Unknown:think too, with depression and anxiety. I think that everyone, like, honestly, I think everyone I recommend everyone meditates. But I think especially if there's someone's in a dark place, like, yeah, double down on these, these practices and rituals.
Alina:100% What would you say to people who are like, Oh, meditation does not work for me, I've tried it or like, or they just think it's not a real thing.
Unknown:Yeah. So I think that meditation is like a muscle, you need a flag. So the more that you do it, the better you're gonna get at it. And, and I find that the people who say that they're not good at it, I asked him, Okay, well, what does good like, let's define, like, what is being good at meditation.
Alina:They say, I can't sit still, like, you've got two thoughts in my head.
Unknown:Those are the people I used to be me. And those are the people that like, Oh, my God, this will change your freakin life. I did a leadership training 60 people, almost everyone at that time, four years ago said I was not present. And that changed my life. Because I've made it my mission since then to be fully present, and grounded, where now people are like, Oh, my God, Nick, you're so present. You're an amazing listener, I feel like you're here with me, because of meditation. Because it's like, I was so addicted to thinking I was so hooked on thought I was projecting into the future and into the past, it wasn't serving me. And it was creating a lot of issues in my life. Oh, a lot of us are addicted to to thinking and have a hard time focusing we see with social media, you know, we've been so it's like realizing that life is in the now, you know, the more present you can be, the more that you will experience like
Alina:100%, of coming
Unknown:into the now. And if you have a hard time being present, and being focused and being still, then this is your medicine. This is your medicine, I
Alina:think a lot of us unknowingly, of course, allow our brain to steal from us from that present moment, whether it's like looking over our shoulder and being like, I really shouldn't have done that my life would be so different if I just hadn't did it. Or if this hadn't happened to me, maybe you know, I wouldn't be having these, you know, this anxiety, this depression, or we're so anxious about the future? Oh, my God, what if this never works out? What if I never actualized? What if I never this? What if I never become a parent, you know, and it's like, all of that literally robs us of the the here in the now, which is the only thing we have. That's the only thing we have. Yeah.
Unknown:And I think just remembering where our focus goes, energy flows. So if you're constantly thinking about what your fear of or what you don't want, a lot of times we subconsciously manifest what we don't want, when we fear.
Alina:Totally, totally, we're always manifesting. And that's why it's I've been focusing a lot on friendships lately. Because you know, Aquarius season, it's very much about friendships, community, and also detachment. And it's like, how do the people that you hang out with make you feel because during you're around people who you're jealous of, or jealous of you that you're still manifesting, but you're manifesting out of spite, you know, you're not even manifesting the things that are truly your soul's desire, you're just over here competing with people who don't make you feel good. And that's why I think it's super important to like, kind of take a check and an audit of your community and your friends. And are there energy preventing me from moving forward or from, you know, freeing myself with these chains? Yeah,
Unknown:I think meditation, and just moments of stillness and quietness, even if it means going on a walk, without your phone, like those moments of those moments allow you to reflect those moments allow for you to become more aware of what's working and what's not working and what gets to shift. But I think we're so constantly go go doo doo doo doo. And we're distracting that we don't even have time to do that. Like, yeah, you know, so I think just, yeah, mindfulness is a game changer. Totally.
Alina:I mean, you can really only understand it if you've you know, if you've experienced it. So
Unknown:yeah, I think also just says, like, with the gym, right, like, you're not gonna see results. Yeah, I'm gonna grow a voti after two weeks, but
Alina:you'll feel good after your first workout. You know what I mean? Maybe the results won't be visible to everyone around you or even yourself, but at you. You'll know how you feel after you did a really good workout.
Unknown:Definitely. Yeah, I think also knowing that you might not always feel so good or you use it because I think most people will say, Oh, it doesn't work for me or I don't feel less stress or this or that, but it's like people are so they so want instant gratification, but it's like, no, just like keep up with it, like, you may be consistent, and you will break through and see the benefits and see the value. And one day, you'll be like, Oh my god, you'll have a life changing meditation, or something comes through, or you have a big emotional release, you know, or just after eight weeks of meditating consistently, you feel just more peaceful, and you feel more present and you feel like people aren't and then you're and then your outside world starts to reflect that, right? I have the same like inner world, he goes out.
Alina:And I imagine to you to feel just more in charge of your own life and your own destiny, you know what I mean? I mean, also, I think God works with us and not to, but it's kind of like, I think the reason that a lot of people are so lost and hopeless nowadays is because they don't feel in control at all. And they're constantly grasping for some false sense of control. When it's like control your mind control your life, you know, is there a best time to meditate? Like, does it matter when you choose to meditate?
Unknown:I think that it really depends on you, you know, and just kind of test out what feels best for you. I think the morning is the best that I found. And I do it multiple times throughout the day. Or if you're ever feeling stressed, or you're feeling blocked, you know, then you can do a quick meditation,
Alina:or if something comes across your path that is going to piss you off. A spiral. Yeah, that's yes.
Unknown:For example, me in my column, my past partner, he said something that triggered me. And so instead of reacting and projecting at him, I said, Hey, I'm gonna meditate for 10 minutes, and then I'll call you back. Because in that time, I was able to process what the wound was, was it triggering our triggers, or our greatest teachers? So it was like, it was
Alina:like, here you go look at this, you know, and you're able to have like, a normal conversation or conversation saying,
Unknown:hey, when you said this, a story that I created was that you don't prioritize me and that are not important to you. And that made me feel sad now. You know, and so he was able to feel the impact it had on on me. And he said, I'm so sorry, that wasn't my intention. So it actually brought us closer together. But that was from me actually, processing and you
Alina:had to take a step back to really see okay, where's this coming from? Or am I about to blow up over this? Or is this is this a moment where I can overcome something and like, move forward?
Unknown:Exactly. And just be with it be with that little girl? Yeah, that's okay. Yeah,
Alina:always there. Yeah. Do you have any meditation app suggestions for the listeners? Like if they want to get started? What are some good ones calm
Unknown:is a great one, or I use Insight Timer. I also find a lot of great ones on YouTube. YouTube
Alina:is free to so I yeah, I
Unknown:like guided meditations, if I'm specifically working through something. So for example, I'll maybe look up guided meditation for attracting new clients, or guided meditation for healing heartbreak. So if I'm specifically working on something, but for me, the last three years I've been meditating everyday, silent, silent meditation is really Yeah, I
Alina:can show you a lot. I've really only done guided meditations because I feel like I've only started doing this in the past year. And already, I can see that I'm pretty good at it. But at the same time, I do still need some leadership to be like, Okay, think about this. Now imagine, you know, yourself living your best life. So that's really helpful to me. But I also want to kind of get into the silent Yeah, annotation
Unknown:to just even start for three minutes or five minutes. You know, because I think with the guided and even with music, it's like, you're still thinking, Okay, you're still using the mind? Yeah, you're still getting close. And so with silent meditation, my intention is how can I just unhook from thought, how can I just be fully in my body? fully present? And just in the now?
Alina:Yeah. So there's a lot of options you guys for if you want to get into meditation, there's paid apps, there's free apps, it just depends on how hard you want to go. But also, like Nicky just said, just three minutes of silence can really get you started. Yeah,
Unknown:I'll actually use insight timer to time when there's like, they have like a gong. Oh, like a bell. Yeah. And then you can use that as a timer to sweet. Yeah. And people also hear an objection of like, I don't have enough time to edit. Have you heard that? Of course,
Alina:that's, that's an excuse for anything that you know, you shouldn't be doing but don't want to.
Unknown:Yeah. And what I want to say is a lot of my clients who are very successful entrepreneurs who have, you know, really pushed to be consistent with meditation. They actually say that it's made them more productive. So it actually creates more time. Because you hear that, yeah, it's far more fun. Okay, so you're more effective, and you're more more productive.
Alina:You know how to use your time better just being aware, right of like, okay, well, what am I doing with my day? Right? Yeah.
Unknown:And it's just being more focused, because I think, honestly, your greatest superpower and this life more than ever at this time is your attention and your intention, your attention. You know, with social media, people are paying millions of dollars to grab your
Alina:everything is fighting for our attention span or attention.
Unknown:So it's like, how can you take control of your attention? Because that's what's going to really change your life is what you put your attention and intention on. So I think meditation really helps with that.
Alina:Honestly, this is kind of like a pretty popular question. Yeah. Are meditation retreats worth it?
Unknown:Yeah. In November, I went to Bali and I did a four day silent retreat. And we were meditating for four to five hours a day. It's still challenging, huh? Yeah, I would say if you're just starting out, maybe do something a little easier. But maybe we have some high achievers on here that just want to dive into the deep end. But yeah, it's it was life changing for me. Yeah. When a life changing experience and I recommend Joe Dispenza No, he posts an event. It sells out. It's like frigging Burning Man. It sells out within 10 minutes. Yeah. Because people literally have life changing experiences just from that they call it the group field. So when people are meditating, so 1000s of people are meditating together. There's this like, energy and energy. And this this field,
Alina:magnetic field, honestly, yeah,
Unknown:it's powerful. Yeah,
Alina:I do want to try that. And you guys Nikki is putting together a meditational tree and Joshua Tree. Right? Yeah, it
Unknown:may change it here. Like okay, yeah,
Alina:I do have certainly more sense coming out. Yes, and more events coming up. So I really hope to be a part of one of those. I don't know if I can make it to Joshua Tree. But
Unknown:um, this month, I have three or two events and the next one tomorrow events as well. It's on my Instagram page. Yeah. It's Nikki van. It s and iki. VA N I am stepping more into the medicine path. Psilocybin ceremonies are also very powerful
Alina:as well. I'm gonna have to try that with you. And
Unknown:I mean, with meditation, you can still have an eyelid breathwork as well. You can still have these psychedelic experiences. Totally.
Alina:I mean, I think it's so funny. I had this thought actually today while meditating and watching the sun come up. I was like, it's kind of hilarious that all these people in their 30s and 40s in San Diego are like stepping away from drinking and just finding that they can get high just by breathing. Yeah, a lot of people are here like just oh my god. breathwork. Yes. Would you mind leading us in a mini guided meditation doesn't have to be really long. But just for everyone who has stayed to the end of this episode, give them a peek of what you're about. And I mean, I love your guided meditations. So let's do it.
Unknown:So just start to get into a comfortable seated position. Okay, criss cross or you can put your feet on the floor, whatever is comfortable for you. And then putting your hands facing up if you want to receive energy or facing down if you want more of an inward internal experience. Maybe you want more groundedness just bringing awareness to your breath taking a deep inhale in through the nose for 64321 holding at the top sipping a little more air through the mouth exhaling slowly out through your mouth again blowing out a straw tying back to normal breathing noticing how deep or shallow Your breath is and just consciously taking deeper breaths using the breath as an anchor, so at any point if thoughts come in, just come back to your breath. Their breath is an anchor into the present moment it's an anchor into to now repeating in your head, it's safe to be in my body it's safe to be in my body bring your awareness onto your heart just noticing if your heart feels open or contracted and closed in this moment. And without judgment, just just feeling that and taking a deep breath into your heart and if it does feel closed, just keep taking some deep breaths and maybe putting your shoulders back visualizing your heart opening like a beautiful flower blossoming open and it's safe to have your heart wide open cracked wide open your heart blossoming open. And as your heart opens feeling more expanded in your body maybe feeling from your body feeling but it feels like beyond your skin beyond your body you feeling the walls in your room and you have the ability and the power to tap into this awareness. So feeling this spacious awareness, this spaciousness feeling what it feels like beyond your body beyond your skin feeling all the love the joy the abundance peace every all of that that's outside of you. And as you take a deep breath you're gonna breathe all that inside breathing All that you're really sourcing from all the energy outside is remembering that you are abundance you are abundant You are Love worthy anything that you want and desire in your life knowing that you are worthy of that and that's all the explanation that's all the justification you need is because I deserve it because I'm worthy of the life that I dream and just really feeling that every cell in your body I'm worthy of the life that I dream of I'm worthy of my vision cell in your body that you are enough and then everything in your life that you desire as well as just becoming a vibrational match to that how can you become a vibrational match it's knowing that you are that whatever you desire you are that you don't need the house you don't need the partner you don't need the money you don't need the clothes to feel loved to feel joy and to feel enough you feel that now. Take a deep breath and feel that now and enough I'm abundant I'm love and joy starting to wiggle your fingers and toes coming back into your body back into the room and then replacing both there Hands on your heart feeling grateful Grateful for your life and the people in in grateful for yourself for showing up. Life is a gift like this again. And even in those moments where it doesn't, it feels really messy and and hard just remembering that this too shall pass. It's all temporary. It's all part of your story. Taking one more deep inhale
Alina:letting go.
Unknown:Just slowly opening your eyes and when you open your eyes, maybe just look around the room for colors and shapes to ground your body or just see what you see around the room
Alina:and your love your love. Gosh, I felt something when I put my when I put my hands on my heart. I like felt a different feeling. That was really cool. Nikki, thank you so much. Yeah, well, conversation. Yeah, I hope you guys learned a lot about meditation. I hope you have some takeaways that you all might get us it would not be a downtown meditation without these damn sirens. I'm so sorry guys. As you can tell, it's classic. But hey, it wouldn't be meditation if you just always had a perfect environment. Right? It's being able to do it amidst anything exact right? Yeah. Yeah, so you guys if you want to work with Nicki, I mean she's incredible at what she does. She's been able to help so many people and just anything that they're going through in their life and helping them find that strength and that self worth to just get through anything at all and there's there's just really nothing that we can't heal ourselves from except for death I think but even that you know, you can face with bravery and with love
Unknown:and I think that's like one of my favorite parts is how many people realize that they are their greatest healer that inner healer inner coach guru. Yeah, so
Alina:people want to work with you. How do they find you? So
Unknown:I would go on my instagram at I Ts and I Aki VA n so good, sneaky ban. And on my link tree. There's complimentary session laying there was the events that I'm doing in San Diego online workshops. Yeah, all the good stuff on there.
Alina:I love you girl. Thank you so much for coming on. It's been a really great, great talk and you guys make sure to follow Nikki it's Nikki ban on Instagram. She answers her DMs she is open and also follow style recycles pod on Instagram, you guys can get the free grocery guide I always welcome any ratings or reviews that you leave for the podcast and until the next episode make sure to spread the good word about stellar cycles with your fellow woman and let's all uplift our lives together till next time stellar cycles out
