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When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
What the H@!! are they talking about? Reproductive Memory vs Reconstructive Memory (Definitions and Differences) Extended
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult children. Too often, what were once happy or benign memories morph - seemingly - suddenly into abusive and traumatic events. Parents are often caught off guard and sent reeling into a cycle of disbelief, anger, helplessness and pain.
To complicate matters further, outsiders can influence or drive the reconstructive process. Have you heard the terms Gaslighting and Cult of One? Check out those specific episodes for more information.
So, what is the difference between what we organically recall (reproductive memory) and the changed or revised version (reconstructive memory)?
The metamorphosis of memory can and does affect us all. If you think it doesn't happen to you, read things you wrote years ago. Consider a diary or your child's baby book. You will likely find discrepancies between what you wrote and when you recall. You might wonder if you mistakenly wrote things in the original document or if your memories have changed.
Revision of memory is a usual and natural human process. However, in the face of estrangement, transforming memory can and often does lead to disastrous outcomes.
Listen in to learn more about the differences and processes that occur. Then, when you want more information and to explore this topic more deeply, look for the extended version.
For more information, please visit
https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com
The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.