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When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
Respecting No-Contact: 8 Strategies to Find Strength in the Stillness
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
When the phone stops ringing and your texts go unanswered, the quiet can feel unbearable. In “Surviving the Silence,” Dr. Janet Steinkamp walks you through how to use this season with purpose so you don’t ruminate and drive yourself to distraction through catastrophizing.
You’ll learn eight practical strategies: anchoring in reality (from a 360° view), managing the spiral of rumination, practicing radical acceptance, rebuilding an identity beyond parenting, regulating emotions when you’re triggered, choosing a safe support network, reframing your narrative, and using silence as a mirror for growth.
You’ll hear why respecting your adult child’s boundary can build trust, how to stop re-traumatizing yourself by 'looping' through your story, and ways to find peace even if reconciliation isn’t here yet.
If you’re ready to move from panic to purpose—and wait with your child rather than merely waiting for them—this episode gives you calm, concrete strategies to maintain your mental balance and find purpose.
Previous and Related Episodes
- “Catastrophizing” (managing rumination, fear and worry)
- “Flying Monkeys & Well-Intended People” (why third-party ‘help’ backfires)
- “Coercive Control” series (3 episodes focused on a cult of one)
- “Grief” series (7 episodes on the estrangement grief process)
- “Explaining vs. Apologizing vs. Making Amends” (owning your part)
- “Let It vs. Let Them Go” (healthy release vs. resentment)
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CONNECT
Connect directly to schedule coaching with Dr. Steinkamp by emailing Janet@jesteinkamp.com
For more information about services and resources, please visit: https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com
If this episode resonated with you, please follow or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. It helps more families find their way to these conversations.
DISCLAIMER
The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement.