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When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
Mom, Mentor, Grandma: Flexing Roles Without Fueling the Fire of Estrangement
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
The days of straightforward expectations about how moms transition from being a child's mom to mom to an adult child, and finally, from mom to a grandparent, are long gone. The challenge of understanding our adult children's expectations is real.
More and more often, moms tell me that as their adult children became independent, they thought they knew how to relate to and communicate with them effectively. They thought they were doing things and interacting with their adult children and grandchildren in ways that expressed love, support, and respect. Only to be told they were undermining, disrespectful, abusive and traumatizing.
In this episode, we'll explore strategies that can help you move from a hands-on mom to an adult child's mom, and then into the joyful lane of grandma. We'll explore how and when without drifting into control or sparking estrangement.
I'll walk you through six key aspects of our evolving roles as mom (nurturing, communication, support, boundaries, connection, and legacy) and show you how to "flex" between roles in real time.
If you're navigating relational distress or want to prevent it, this episode gives you practical language, simple check-in questions, and a mindset that protects family continuity. Listen in and get the confidence to mother well in every season.
Dr. Janet
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Related Episodes
- How to Be a Supportive Mom and Loving Grandma Without Overstepping or Being Taken for Granted
- 6 Mistakes Estranged Parents Make That Delay Re-Establishing Communication
- Respecting No-Contact: 8 Strategies to Find Strength in the Stillness
- The Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in Estrangement
- When Mother's Day Hurts: 10 Reasons Our Kids Pull Away - Episode 1
- Rebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can Reconnect - Episode 2
DISCLAIMER
The content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time.
PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet Steinkamp
When Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries.
The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.
Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems.
Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.