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When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
Aligning Your Communication With Your Adult Child's Perceptions
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
It’s natural to feel compelled to reach out to fix things at every level of estrangement. We’ve been taught to pursue, talk, challenge, and perhaps even expect certain aspects of a relationship with our adult child.
You want closeness, but every “fix it” attempt seems to push your adult child farther away. The tension escalates, accusations worsen, and hurtful words or actions become more personal. It makes no sense, and the confusion turns to helplessness.
Well-intentioned friends, family, and therapists may advise you to walk away. To close the door. However, is that really what you want? What if there is another option?
In this episode, Dr. Janet shows you how concrete self-reflection, neutral consideration of both perspectives, and humble authenticity can change that.
You will take the first step to see your communication style and behaviors through your adult child’s eyes. You will begin to consider your own communication patterns (e.g., tone, timing, word choice, and intensity) and the power of modifying your communication in real time. You will consider the importance of regulating emotions in the moment and the value of modeling actions that invite trust.
Remember, moving through estrangement to rebuild trust and establish healthier communication is at the heart of a new and healthy relationship with your son or daughter.
This isn’t a sprint; it’s steady, observable change your adult child can feel—even from a distance. If you’re ready to rebuild calm, clarity, and compassion, this is your starting line.
Related Episodes
- Mom, Mentor, Grandma: Flexing Roles Without Fueling the Fire of Estrangement
- When the Green Monster Rears Its Head: Jealousy and Estrangement
- When Communication Becomes a Power Struggle: Power, Influence, Gaslighting and Coercive Control
- 6 Tips to Proactively Give Space to Your Adult Child and Avoid Misrepresentation
#FamilyEstrangement #EstrangedAdultChild #ParentReconnection #ParentalAlienation #ReconnectionStrategist #EstrangementSupport #ParentAdultChildRelationship #EmotionalRegulation #Boundaries #TrustBuilding #CommunicationSkills #EstrangementGrief #MothersOfEstrangedDaughters #FathersOfEstrangedSons #RepairingRelationships
DISCLAIMER
The content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time.
PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet Steinkamp
When Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries.
The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.
Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems.
Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.