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When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
Parental Estrangement and Acceptance: Finding Your Way From Rejection to Renewal
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, you’ll explore what comes after the slog through the first three swirling stages of grief. After the shock, anger, and despair have swirled for a while, you're likely to find yourself so exhausted that you're ready to move out of the darkest days.
Dr. Janet walks with you through the courageous decision to move from the dark abyss of pain, resentment and heartbreak into a place where you acknowledge the facts of the situation and choose to move forward.
Together, you’ll look at powerful reflection questions about who you are, what you value, and what still brings you peace, creativity, and meaning—right now, even in the silence.
You’ll also hear five concrete strategies for surviving and living in acceptance: anchoring yourself in the present, reinvesting in your self-worth, practicing compassion (for you and your adult child), connecting where it’s safe to pour out love, and living your legacy today instead of waiting for reconciliation. From fostering animals, joining jam sessions or improv groups, to writing letters you may one day share with your grandchildren, this episode invites you to step toward the light, rebuild a purpose-driven life, and prepare your heart for the possibility of reconnection. You are not alone, and you are not defined by estrangement.
Related Episodes:
- Wait! What? You're leaving?! Does this mean we're estranged?
- 5 Signs Your Relationship with Your Adult Child is Unraveling: The yin and yang of estrangement.
- Estrangement Grief - Stage 4 - Acceptance
- Healthy and Emotionally Charged Realities of Letting Go
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DISCLAIMER
The content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time.
PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet Steinkamp
When Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries.
The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating: family estrangement, communication breakdown, emotional grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development, adult family relationship dynamics
Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes:, emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection, safe and appropriate family systems.
Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.