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When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
OMG They're back! Now what do I do?? How do I know if I'm ready?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, you’ll walk through one of the most fragile and hopeful moments in estrangement: when your adult child reaches out. Whether it’s a short text, a knock on your door, or a message passed through a family member, Dr. Janet Steinkamp helps you see this tiny gesture for what it really is—a careful test of safety.
You’ll learn why urgency is not your friend in these early days and how to slow yourself down so you don’t accidentally overwhelm your estranged adult child. Dr. Steinkamp walks you through her “no sudden movements” approach, the 24-hour pause before responding, and how to mirror your child’s tone, pace, and contact frequency.
Together, you’ll explore practical scripts to use, what to say (and not say), and how to manage the emotional rollercoaster between messages. Your calm, consistent presence in these early communications is the strongest evidence of your growth.
You’ll also be invited to reflect on what you’re doing differently now, how you can communicate as an adult-to-adult rather than parent-to-child, and how to keep building your own wholeness while reconnection unfolds slowly over time.
If you’re wondering how to respond to that first text, that tiny “like,” or that unexpected hello at a family gathering, this conversation will help you breathe, pause, and choose responses that build a safer bridge back to your son or daughter.
Related Episodes
- 6 Mistakes Estranged Parents Make That Delay Re-Establishing Communication
- The Yin and Yang of Parenting Adult Children: Nurture, Structure and Estrangement
- Mom, Mentor, Grandma: Flexing Roles Without Fueling the Fire of Estrangement
- Dad and Grampa: Navigating Estrangement Across Generations
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For more information, please visit
https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com
The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.