When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
Is Social Media Making Estrangement Worse? What the Research Actually Says
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Welcome back to When Our Adult Children Walk Away, a podcast dedicated to one of the most painful, and one of the least talked-about, experiences a family can go through: estrangement. I'm Dr. Janet Steinkamp. No guilt. No shame. No blame.
Social media did not cause your estrangement. But it may be making it feel more permanent, more absolute, and harder to resolve. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp breaks down what current research says about the role social media platforms play in estrangement dynamics, and why understanding the algorithm may be one of the most important steps toward finding your way forward.
IN THIS EPISODE:
- Why research does not support the claim that social media causes estrangement, but does raise concern about amplification
- How algorithm-driven content shapes what both parents and adult children see, believe, and feel
- What echo chambers are and how they reduce openness to alternative perspectives over time
- Why platforms reward outrage and certainty over nuance and reconciliation
- How these dynamics affect both sides of an estrangement equally
- The key insight: algorithms are designed to keep us engaged online, not to bring families closer together
- What it looks like to be more intentional about the content you consume
"The algorithms are designed to increase engagement in the internet, not with our adult children." - Dr. Janet Steinkamp
CONNECT:
Subscribe to the YouTube channel at @DrJanetSteinkamp and follow the podcast wherever you listen so you never miss an episode. If today's episode was helpful, share it with someone who needs to hear it. You never know who in your life is quietly carrying this same experience.
For one-on-one coaching, reach out to Dr. Janet directly through the website. https://www.whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com/service-page/60-minute-consultation
JOIN US FOR VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS: https://www.whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com/office-hours
Produced by Balancing Life's Issues
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⏱ CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome
01:15 Does Social Media Cause Estrangement?
03:30 How Algorithms Amplify What We Already Believe
06:00 Echo Chambers and Confirmation Bias
08:30 Emotional Amplification Online
11:00 Why Simplified Narratives Are Dangerous for Families
13:30 Both Parents and Adult Children Are Affected
15:30 The Key Takeaway
17:00 Being Intentional About What You Consume
DISCLAIMER
The content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time.
PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet Steinkamp
When Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries.
The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.
Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems.
Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.