When Our Adult Children Walk Away
My story. Reflecting my experiences, observations and perspective - in my words.
In the early spring of 2019, under the influence of her gatekeeper-partner, in the heart of the global pandemic. After several years of trying to sort through our differences, my (young) adult daughter made the heartbreaking choice to cut all communication with our family.
My name is Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and the reason for this podcast is simple. During the long, dark hours of my isolation and desperation, I decided to use my formal training and professional experience to help people struggling to understand how to strengthen their communication styles and interpersonal behavior to rebuild a fracturing relationship. I pivoted from decades of work in medical education and communication to work with families.
I now coach people, both parents and adult children, through the dark days, isolation, and pain of estrangement from their parent or adult child. We work to find hope and look toward the future, to grow despite and because of their estrangement, and find strategies that help them prepare to strengthen and rebuild their fractured relationship.
When you are ready to walk through the hot coals of self-reflection toward self-discovery - to prepare for repair - I'm here to walk alongside you.
I can't promise reconnection, I can and will help you find clarity, purpose and strength as you prepare for opportunities to establish respectful, trusting communication.
When Our Adult Children Walk Away
Are We Really Listening? The Difference Between Hearing and Being Present (Audio Only)
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Are we really listening — or just waiting for your turn to speak?
There’s a difference between hearing and listening that most of us never stop to examine, and in estrangement, that difference can be the distance between repair and permanent disconnection.
In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp breaks down what active listening truly requires, why passive listening causes more damage than we realize, and what it looks like to listen in a way that makes people feel genuinely seen and valued.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
- The key difference between hearing and active listening, and why it matters for estrangement
- What an active listener looks, sounds, and feels like to the person speaking
- The specific behaviors that signal you’re not fully present, even when you think you are
- Why kinesthetic learners may seem distracted but are actually deeply engaged
- How to reflect back what you hear so the other person feels truly understood
- What passive listening is, when we do it, and the relational cost
- Why “listening to react” vs. “listening to learn” changes every conversation
- A simple, practical challenge you can try this week
If you’ve ever felt like conversations with your adult child go sideways before you understand why, or like what you say never quite lands the way you intend, this episode gives you a foundational skill that changes everything.
"Listening to learn creates connection. Listening to react creates distance.” - Dr. Janet Steinkamp
Active listening is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice, in conversations that matter, and in conversations that don’t, so you’re ready when it counts.
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https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com
Produced by Balancing Life’s Issues
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DISCLAIMER
The content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time.
PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet Steinkamp
When Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries.
The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.
Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems.
Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.