Fuel For Thought
Join hosts Tracy Elizabeth and Nicole Heller on Fuel For Thought, the empowering podcast designed to help women unleash a healthier lifestyle. With their expert insights and unwavering dedication, Tracy and Nicole delve into the challenges faced by women in achieving optimal health and provide actionable strategies to overcome them. From debunking myths about nutrition to exploring the latest fitness trends, they leave no stone unturned in their quest to fuel your body, mind, and soul.
Each episode of Fuel For Thought offers a wealth of practical advice, inspiring stories, and interviews with leading experts in the health and wellness field. Tracy and Nicole bring their unique perspectives and personal journeys, making every discussion relatable and authentic. Whether you're struggling with emotional eating, searching for sustainable weight loss techniques, or seeking to boost your overall well-being, this podcast serves as your go-to resource for transformation.
Through lively conversations, evidence-based research, and practical tips, Fuel For Thought will equip you with the knowledge and tools needed to make informed decisions about your health. Uncover the secrets to maintaining a balanced diet, discover effective workout routines, and learn how to build a positive relationship with food. Fuel For Thought embraces the mantra of relentlessly overcoming obstacles to achieve your desired results.
Tune in to Fuel For Thought and join Tracy Elizabeth and Nicole Heller as they inspire, motivate, and empower women to take charge of their health, harness their inner strength, and unlock their true potential. Subscribe now to embark on a journey towards a healthier, happier you!
Fuel For Thought
If it's a F#$K YES, than it's a H*LL NO!
What if you could confidently say "no" to societal expectations and start living for yourself? Join Nicole Heller and Tracy Elizabeth in an enlightening conversation on Smooth for Thought as they recount their personal journeys from being lifelong people-pleasers to prioritizing their own needs and desires. Through heartfelt anecdotes and moments of realization, they offer a blueprint on how to find genuine self-confidence and break free from the need for external validation. Get ready to be inspired by their stories and reflections on embracing your own voice and making empowered choices.
Navigate the tumultuous waters of building genuine self-confidence during your teenage years and early adulthood with insights from Nicole and Tracy. They discuss the stark difference between using confidence as a shield versus it coming from within, and the unique struggles of people-pleasing in parenting. The episode also delves into the challenges faced by parents of single versus multiple children, emphasizing the importance of embracing discomfort to grow. Learn how to foster a mindset that empowers you to say "yes" to opportunities despite fear, and join them in creating a movement of self-assurance and proactive decision-making.
Feel the passion and overcome doubt with unwavering commitment through personal stories and reflections. Nicole and Tracy share examples of how focusing on a "fuck yes" mentality can eliminate distractions and drive intentional action. They advocate for blocking out negativity and remaining steadfast in your goals, creating an environment of mutual support and empowerment. The episode wraps up with a poignant discussion on parenting, trust, and the bittersweet journey of watching children grow and prepare to leave home. Tune in for a wealth of insights and encouragement to help you live authentically, make the most of your relationships, and embrace new beginnings.
Follow our journey on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/fuel_for_thought_podcast/
Hey, welcome to Smooth for Thought, empowering Women's Live, healthier Lifestyles. I'm Tracy Elizabeth. I'm Nicole Heller. What's up, girl? Why are you talking so low today? Because I got these beautiful hearing aids in.
Speaker 2:I feel like you're like, so like calm and like collected today. I like it.
Speaker 1:Because I can hear my own voice. So I apologize, it's so new.
Speaker 2:I feel like you're like oh, I like it, oh my gosh, I like it. Okay, well, welcome everybody. I'm excited to be here today and you're very loud I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:oh my gosh, guys, this is new today tracy can hear me all right, this is new, this new territory, okay, so today's episode, which I'm really excited about, which I think it took us a little while to get here, um, and we're going to use the word once and then we're going to switch it up, but I mean, I feel like the word is, it should be, you know, I feel like it's empowering. So it's really like, you know, if it's not to a point, as women, where we really feel like, if something is not immediately fuck, yes, then it is an immediate hell. No, how do we get there? And were you always there?
Speaker 1:Oh, I was definitely not always there.
Speaker 2:No, like I was never there. Like I was never there. So I think that I want us to to. I want to reflect back to all my years of never being there and how I got to there now, and also like you weren't there at any point in your life never, never, oh my gosh never, never, ever, ever. Come on. I was a people, pleaser my whole entire life.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's at my younger age, like I felt like when I had confidence going into school or I found a passion for some things, like if I can narrow into something specific, then I feel like I had that little piece of fire, but I don't think it was all together in all of my life, like there was nothing in your life. At any point in time you felt that fire inside and that confidence inside to say yes, it's a fuck.
Speaker 2:Yes I don't know all right.
Speaker 2:No, I feel like I don't stumped her no, but I feel like if it was a if anything in my life was, it was like a like. If it was a fuck yes, like I feel like I wanted to replace the word with hell yes, but I feel like like it's just gonna roll off the tongue anyway. So I feel like if anything in my life was a fuck yes and a hell no to something else, like I feel like it was always contingent on making sure it was okay with other people, okay, you know, like I feel like I want to think back. I want to think back to before finding confidence, before finding self-worth, before finding confidence, before finding self-worth, before finding, you know, I don't feel like I feel like all those, those, those years were contingent on other people, other people's opinions, other people's perception. You know, and being able to release that, being able to to move past that took so much time.
Speaker 2:You know, part of me sits in such a place of regret that it didn't happen till later in life which is oh, sometimes it's heavy to even say that, but you know, I think that you know, when I think back to I don't know, no, I want to say maybe in my teenage years I had a little bit of you know, yeah yeah, I kind of know, I kind of know that's how I'm sitting here thinking, but you know, what, but sometimes a little bit of that F you in your teenage years was a little bit of arrogance.
Speaker 2:Arrogance, but a little bit of like, maybe a hard shell of a little bit of tapping into that vulnerability. Yeah, like, maybe it was like just a wall overcompensating for insecurities.
Speaker 1:I feel, like that was probably a little bit of my yeah, confidence. It wasn't. It wasn't walking into full confidence where I was so secure, but kind of like that. Like you talk about the backpack, I talk about wearing a mask, like kind of like sheltering myself and knowing that there was some potential that I had going on here, that I needed to stand a little taller, but. But I know I didn't really feel that way. But I would walk into the situation like yes, fuck, yes, I'm going to do this, but I don't think I put those pieces together Like I I'm learning how to do better now, where if I'm not fully into something then it's a hell. No, Right.
Speaker 2:I don't think that in my teenage years, when I presented with any place of force, any place of confidence, that it was a true sense of confidence. It was a, it was a guard. It was coming from a place of insecurity. It was a, it was a shield. It was a, it was a wall that was up because I had to. You know, it was because it wasn't a true sense of self, which is one of the biggest things I don't want for my daughters. You know, I want my daughter's confidence to come from within. I don't want it to be a protective space and I think that's one of the hardest things that I feel like I try to teach them. You know, is that confidence coming from within and not really a guard to teach them? Yeah, you know, is that confidence coming from within and not really a guard? But I think, coming into my?
Speaker 2:you know, I think my late 20s, early 30s, were probably the hardest part coming into parenting, because you were pregnant all the time, the whole time I was pregnant, like so many times and but like that, people pleasing time, even in parenting, like even, like, remember like people wanted to hold your kid and you like didn't want them to hold your kid and you like like no, but like yes, no, like I wish I could redo some of that, you know, and and having that internal struggle of like if it's not a fuck, yes, it's hell, no, you know.
Speaker 2:and like really wanting to advocate differently for myself and for my kids, but like that was a me thing, it wasn't a them thing, it was a thing, and like that came from a strength within for myself. And how do you build that? And so much of that was my own confidence. So, like, what is the number one thing you think helps you build your own confidence?
Speaker 1:For me. I think, in my experience of what I've learned over the last couple years was experience, and I think it was more about learning where I was getting comfortable, where I was most discomfortable Is that a word, discomfortable? I think it's uncomfortable, like I felt like Discomfort's a word, discomfort.
Speaker 2:But I think uncomfortable is the word you're looking for.
Speaker 1:Whatever. So I just feel like in situations where if I was uncomfortable I had to kind of get myself more comfortable with being uncomfortable to gain that confidence, yeah, like learning how to turn that like I kind of want to do that to like fuck. Yes, I really want to do that and I want to stop saying no to other things just because I'm scared, like I was. I was spent some time of my adult life waiting for that confidence to happen to experience where I realized that I had to walk into those experiences unsure and we talked about it before with blinded faith and just say, okay, I'm going to learn to build that confidence there. I'm going to learn to kind of ignite my own fire and learn from the experience, good or bad. Like there are going to be experiences that in the past I probably would have sat there and said, well, that was a waste of time. Where now I can kind of walk through that situation and say it's not really a waste and find some type of light in that situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what about like your mom gut? Like, do you think through all parenting you trusted your mom gut, or you think that that got better with age?
Speaker 1:No, I think it definitely got better. I was lost, like you know, a lot of that had to be, you know, going through life changes and decisions I was making when I first started out as a parent. I was doing it by myself, you know. So I felt like every single thing I questioned and I had no confidence in what I was doing. But I was so worried about damaging and I, you know, I actually thought about this the other day and I don't remember.
Speaker 1:You had a conversation, I don't remember what it was. It might have been something that I felt at aj's, you know, graduation, and I thought about you having four children and parenting four children very differently, right, and and it was. Somebody said something to me like well, it must be easy that you only have one kid, because everybody looks at my kid, he's great, like yeah, he's great, I love him, but he is pretty cool. He is pretty cool and he's a wonderful kid. But when I sat back and I was kind of took offense to that, like we all live different lives, we all have different hardships, we all have different levels of support, different levels of financial status, all those things, but I have one kid, which means that I gotta.
Speaker 2:It's like I could. You know I get 75% chance. It's pretty good, you're still winning.
Speaker 1:And I really sat back and I thought about that and I think I put that weight on myself as a parent not just as a single parent, but as a parent for one child that I only get this one chance, and not to make him perfect, but just to give him the opportunities in life that he can feel the things I didn't feel like. I want him to walk in life and say yes, that he probably won't say the words that we're using. He definitely won't. You don't know.
Speaker 2:No, I know he asked for permission. Before he says you don't know what he's gonna be like as an adult.
Speaker 1:But I want him to walk in those situations like, yes, this is going to be a fuck. Yes, situation like I, I feel it, I want to do it, even though I'm scared, like you saw him at graduation, like he conquered some things that I that he would have never done before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I think that, even though we're I mean, we're using the term, but like I want this, like if it's not, like, I want it to be a feeling, like I want this like to be like what we're talking about right now, like I want it to be like a movement, like, if it's not like a fuck yes, it's a hell, no, like that's not, it's not even about the words, it's like a feeling you know what I? Know is a waste of time is that kind of like?
Speaker 2:it's not even, like it's a waste of time. It's like it's like you're brushing it off your shoulder. It's like I feel so passionate about it in the moment that, if it's not a fuck, yes, it's a hell, no. Like it's not even the words. It's a feeling inside you like something is in front of you right now and you're so passionate about it that you're going after it right now and everything behind it is like whatever you know what I mean. Like it doesn't matter. Like something is in front of your kid and they're so excited about it that they're going after it. Like I think about maggie, and like something was presented to her about like going to districts for softball, and like she didn't even think twice. She was like, yes, like I'm going after it.
Speaker 2:Like, and anything besides that, anything that came in front of her these next two weeks, like she knows she's committed to it these next two weeks. Like it was parties. It was graduation parties, it was this, it was that, it was the other thing, nothing matters, everything else is a hell. No, everything else. Like she's committed to it, everything else is a fuck. Yes, yeah. And like that's the passion and the fire, like that's that's what I want to ignite in my children, and it took me so long to get there for myself. Like, like. There are things in my life right now that are a fuck, yes, and everything else that comes in front of me is a hell. No, like, like today, like I knew I was coming here today to be here with you, to do this. No matter what happened today, everything else was a hell.
Speaker 2:No, yeah like I mean, we had a few messages that came in this morning. Everything else was a hell. No, today, like we got them on the way here like, hey, we're all a hell. No, you know what I mean. Like like, of course, emergency is not that she doesn't love you, I love you, but like, of course they're emergencies, or emergencies, but, like you know, like there are things that you're passionate about, yeah, that you're like yeah, I think lighting that fire.
Speaker 1:I think that feeling, if you allow yourself to really develop that feeling and like zone into that feeling, it allows you to isolate and intentionally work on whatever it is that you want to accomplish with that Fuck. Yes, like I feel like we live in a world with so many distractions that those distractions lead us into a different path. Then we forget about that feeling where if, like you're saying, you're on your way here and you know that this is something you're doing, nothing else and nothing else matters at this time, like it's intention, like I've like the intention sometimes isn't, how do you?
Speaker 2:quiet yourself, like even seeing, seeing aj like on that oh my goodness, I'm gonna cry.
Speaker 2:No, but like, even seeing him, like that was such an experience for me, seeing him worship, like even though he wasn't like fuck, yes, it's a hell no to everything else. Yes, I get that, but like, in that moment, that passion is what I'm talking about. Like he was getting up there, no matter what he had made that decision, it was like it was happening for him and he was saying hell no to everything else. That decision was made. Like, how many people in their life can say, like a decision is made, I'm passionate about it, I'm doing it and it is hell no to anything else.
Speaker 2:It's no to the naysayers, it's no to the. It's no to the other people telling me I can't. It's no to the family members who were saying I can't do it. It's no to the friends who don't believe in me. It's no to the people at my job who say that there's a ceiling above me, that I can't do it. It's no to everything else because I'm passionate enough, because it's a fuck yes for me. Like, do you know how many people that in his, in AJ's life that probably didn't believe that he could do that? Like, do you know how many people in Maggie's life, in her friend circle, that probably believed that she couldn't make that team. Do you know how many people in our life probably believed that we could never, you know, do a podcast? Do you know how many people in our life probably never could believe that we could lose over 100 pounds and keep the weight off? Man, I could put a list together.
Speaker 2:I mean do you know how many people?
Speaker 1:like. Do you think, though it's, it's more about the disbelief in somebody else than the reflection on the ego for within themselves. Like I look at the age range of somebody, like even us, like I look at people say, oh, they can't do the podcast, but secretly they know that you can do it, but it's because that they're not in their own space of positivity or their space of overcoming things.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, because, well, what happens when I think, I truly believe, is all about the mirror Right. When you're looking at someone and they're doing something great, it's, it's a mirror that's shining Right. When you're looking at someone and they're doing something great it's, it's a mirror that's shining Right. And when you're looking at a mirror, you have an opportunity to either see yourself and see something shining at you and use that as a source of inspiration and allow yourself to get better and want to see something that's going to intimidate you and allow that to let you, you know, recoil in and use that as a place of insecurity and kind of like, shoot back and not be ready to all of which is not my problem, you know that's not in the whole problem, that's a problem.
Speaker 2:But like that took me some time to get there because previously, like that would weigh heavy on me. That would put me in a place of like damn, I'm sorry, you feel like that and like that would make me sad. Take it to the next level, that would put me in the pantry. Like that would make me want to, like, do all kinds of things because I would want to help you and please you and and and make me feel less than so. I can be where you are, but like, we can't live in a place like that anymore because you're not ready to feel better.
Speaker 2:You know, like, and that's hard. You know, I think that that's hard, but our job as women is to rise together, not come down together. But my job is to help you be better and your job is to help me be better. You know, I think that that's that's. I want to be in a room where women are lifting each other. I want to be in a room where women are raising each other. And if you're not ready to do that, I'm not going to leave you.
Speaker 1:I'm going to stay with you and I'm going to drag you there.
Speaker 2:If I have to you know what I mean I will drag you there, I'll grab you by your ear and I'll keep dragging you, even if you hate me, I'm gonna drag you and I think that that's. That's also one of the hardest things, right, like the people that you dragged me a couple times.
Speaker 1:Come on, you can say it call me out?
Speaker 2:no, but I think that there are people in our lives I mean, I'll speak for myself there are people in my life that have, um, disliked things that I've said to them. Their shoulders have gone up and I've had to be okay with that because, but my intention was love, and then it's turned out that it became gratitude.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But the same thing has happened to me. You know, I've had people that have said things to me that my shoulders have gone up and I'm like you heard what that bitch had to say but then I have sat in such a place of gratitude because the moment my shoulders go up. If you're willing to learn from that, then you rise. Yeah, and that's how you get better.
Speaker 1:I think that's the key you'll be in the moment to realize that I think, I think that's the hardest, the hardest place.
Speaker 1:So I think you know, when you asked before, like, how do you get there? I think you know definitely one trying to set some type of vision for yourself, and that's also very hard. So how do you do that when you talk so much about that, surrounding yourself with people that are currently doing that, putting your place, putting yourself in a place where there are women like that, so you have that building of that vision, you know, and I think the clarity of how you want to feel is important, right, Stop, stop surrounding yourself with people that are like guessing you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you know, even looking at it we joke around about using the F word, right. But we know, like the F word on social media, all of a sudden somebody will see the F with all those little figures coming after and they're like, oh, this must be a great podcast and click on it, right, it's just the attraction of that, that cohort of people that like that entertainment, and I think that that's the unfortunate place that we are living in right now. So, trying to kind of pull yourself away from that and really saying how can I stand out to be different? And I think that that is the biggest lesson that I want to teach my son too. Like I want him to feel that Like I don't, don't worry about what other people are saying about you, worry about how you're feeling, worry about what your goals are, and this and this is, like you know, I do every year.
Speaker 1:Once a year we I take AJ out to dinner for the end of the year, school year and we come up with action plan like plan A, plan B, plan C, and really talk about what that year is going to look like. And him getting on that stage was something for him. It was something that he wanted to do because when we discussed what fear was about and what is one thing that feared him, that scared him. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. I mean I wouldn't do it either because I can't sing.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't even about singing. It was about the moment of being like, kind of like in the center, but a moment of feeling that love, like this kid has loved to sing his entire life since he was little. But when you get older, like teenage years, it's kind of embarrassing, right Like, and he's worrying about what other people think. And I tell all the time well, what do you think people are thinking about me and what I share, or my personal journey, or how I get on social media, or how nicole and I are on this podcast and we talk about the same thing probably all the time. But we don't care, because we're here to serve other people and we're here also knowing that it fills our cups up, knowing that we're doing something good. So at the end of the the day, it doesn't really matter. You got to go out there and do it. You want something? You got to go out there and do it. Say fuck, yes.
Speaker 2:I think that fuck yes is a feeling and hell no is a feeling. I think that that's really what it's about. You have to make it a feeling. Yeah, well, it comes with confidence, but I do think that it's about creating clarity for yourself. It's about I think it's just about getting there. It's about creating clarity. It's about getting there. It's about who you're surrounding yourself with. If you're surrounding yourself with people that are just telling you things that you want to hear, you're so great, blah, blah, blah. Like, surround yourself with people that are going to challenge you. Like, don't surround yourself with people that are say to you oh, I was gonna let that go and where I'm like oh nicole, what's that thing on top of your head?
Speaker 2:you got that little bun thing going on around yourself with people that are gonna tell you like that shirt doesn't look good. Like surround yourself with people that are gonna challenge you. Like surround yourself with people that are gonna push you, like I am so done. With people that are just gonna be like that, don't say what, what's on their mind like block, I don't want to talk to you, block, and they just run away like.
Speaker 2:I'm done with that. I feel like most of my life I was surrounded with people that just don't want to tell you the truth. Just tell me the truth so that I can get better. Like I'm in my 40s, I want to be better. I want to surround myself with people that are better, because my kids deserve a mother. That is amazing, and I can't be amazing if no one is challenging me so like I want to give my kids the best of me, and I can't be amazing if no one is challenging me so like I want to give my kids the best of me. And I can't be the best if you don't help me be the best. So like, that's my job.
Speaker 2:So if it's not a fuck yes, I'm a hell, no, because I got to have it in my gut that I should be in the right room, that I should be in the right place, that I should be surrounded by the right people, that I should be doing the right things. So like, if I'm not feeling that in my gut, I'm out. That's how I have, and we went into 2020 for feeling that. Like, if it's not bringing me joy, if it's not making me cash, I'm out.
Speaker 2:That's how I felt about it Like I need to feel it in my gut and like also like feeling things in your gut, like we also felt like if you're not quiet enough, you're not going to hear it, and like slowing down was a big part for us. Last year, we talked a lot about slowing down and are we doing too much that is not serving us and committing to things that we shouldn't be committing to, and I think that we both agreed that it was time to stop committing to things that didn't serve us. So I think that a good challenge for our listeners are kind of look at your calendar and are you over committing to things that really't serve us? So I think that a good challenge for our listeners are kind of, look at your calendar and are you over committing to things that really don't serve you? And, you know, commit to more things that really do serve you and your family.
Speaker 1:Because that was a big shift for me and and really did change so much for me and my family, because I was definitely over committed to things that weren't serving Absolutely, and I know you and I both talked to so many women that are like I don't have time for anything and it's like, okay, well, you need to look at your calendar.
Speaker 1:I mean if I could set up Google guys. I mean you guys can set up Google like like jam I know, but like it wasn't never my thing, but really prioritizing my time and prioritizing those time blocks or rocks in your calendar really does help, and acknowledging the fact that you need to take that time out for yourself and if you're saying that you have no time, like you got to make the time and you got to maybe sit down with your family, and that's the other thing.
Speaker 1:People say, well, you got it easy, it's just you and your kid. Okay, well, it doesn't matter, my kid still has lots of things to do and so do I. Well, you're a family of six, right party of six, like sitting down and really managing a household of kids and a husband and a grandmother and all the things. But recognizing that you plug in shower in your calendar as a priority, like she, she does but you gotta put hair wash in the calendar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I gotta be there and I got my hair day in my calendar too but I think it's important to kind of recognize that something, sometimes that sounds so insignificant, is really significant because you're making it significant. Yeah, and I think that that's how you start to develop that feeling inside, because you're like oh, this shit is amazing Like things are starting to happen because you're creating that time for yourself to make those things happen and I think the biggest thing too for me in the last year was dating oh geez like dating.
Speaker 2:Dating your kid, not not?
Speaker 2:not, not your dating situation, that was let's not go back there because that that we're not going back to that situation. But even like dating your kids like you date aj all the time and like dating your kids was a big thing for me. Like I always prioritize family time and, yes, the six of us are together for family dinner and blah, blah, blah but that one-on-one time with each one of my kids has become more important as they got older and that was a big, a big piece for me. So dating my kids is a fuck.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah Well, we talk all the time about modeling right and like you want to model for your kids. What does it look like, not only to find a significant other or build those relationships, but what you want them to do with their own children? Like I love taking AJ out to dinner and showing him what that like tellers, like that's his thing, like we're going there soon. But like showing him how to pay the bill, showing him how to order, showing him how to communicate to people when they come up to the table those things are life skills that he's going to have for the rest of his life and I'm taking that intentional time to be with him Like that's, that's a skill Did you think that when, when AJ was a baby, like I remember thinking when I had shown my first, I remember just a feeling of like heaviness and anxiety, thinking to myself like I was so fearful that they were I was going to blink.
Speaker 2:They were, he was going to be old, older, like an adult, and like it was going to be too late to teach things. Like I feel I felt like, oh my gosh, I'm going to what if I do things wrong? And then it was going to be like too late and like I missed. I missed it. Like oh gosh, I didn't teach something, I didn't model something. Like I was so fearful of that. And I feel like these last few weeks I've kind of like looked at it like you did a good job, yeah, like I was like, oh gosh, like he learned that from something I didn't say.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like, oh gosh, I did that. Like I did that, yeah, and it wasn't even something that I intentionally said, it was just something that I lived. And I was like, Okay, like it was just something of me. Yeah, I've been crying for like the last two weeks.
Speaker 1:I know and June vibes, and we talk about all the time like clarity, like you shouldn't need clarity from other people. But I definitely think there's reinforcement in getting clarity from your children in terms of like okay, I'm doing an okay job. I mean, I had postpartum.
Speaker 2:I don't feel that every time every time, though, I mean some days I look and I'm like oh, I do.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I was gonna say oh man, not today. I feel like part of my whole, like when he was born I was so scared of messing the kid up Right, and I, you know, it's just a scary, scary feeling. But I think, when I think about going back to this concept of fuck, yes, I want to wake up every single morning and do something every day to give him that feeling and to give him that, you know, peace. And I, you know, I told Nicole the other day I'm like, okay, well, he just graduated middle school. He's got four years left of high school. It's gonna blow right by. That's four years of COVID. That went by so fast, right? So I know, sorry guys, I mentioned in COVID, but it flew by.
Speaker 1:I know he's back, but I'm thinking, like four years, my kid is packing up and he's leaving me. He already knows where he wants to go, he's going out of state and I'm like I got nothing here but my puppy, like I, and I, aj, and I said that, I said to AJ yesterday, I didn't tell you, I said to AJ yesterday. So, aj, you know, like we talk about all the time we live in this like conditioned world, we go, we got to go through the motions. Right, because we went through the motions, we met somebody, we got married, we had babies, we went to the school, all the things I said.
Speaker 1:So now you're gonna leave me, which I'm totally fine with, and instead of then you scheduling, like you know, once a month dinner with me while you're in college, because that's needed, I'm thinking maybe I'm just gonna move to Mexico and sell bracelets, like on the beach and kind of like retire there, but like live the life, like of just like oh, and he's looking at me like what I'm like, all right, let me just stay in this place of you know, but that feeling of excitement, of life starting again and different and knowing that he's on the right path, I'm kind of like feeling good about this.
Speaker 2:I'm not down with your fine motor skills to make bracelets, so that's out.
Speaker 1:Well, I'll have somebody else make them and I just sell them.
Speaker 2:That's out of the question. So I, yeah, I do think that the excitement of life starting over for them is really cool. I think that, like I'm looking at sean going to college and seeing his excitement of new and, yeah, I think I don't know, I don't think I've truly processed the fact that I have a child going to college, just because I feel like I have so many behind him that are not going to college. So I don't think I'm there.
Speaker 1:But yeah, yeah, I really I don't think so. Yeah, she does have, she does have intention for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do, I do, I do, but I I think that what I said to Terrence the other day, which is so I feel this so much in my heart is that I'm looking at him experiencing these things and I don't know if it's a state of denial for me, but because he's experiencing things that I truly feel, that I still feel for myself that I don't know if I don't feel like I'm in my 40s, I don't know what it is, but he's experiencing things that I feel like I've got a birthday coming up.
Speaker 1:I do. Let's acknowledge your birthday.
Speaker 2:It's next week I'm going to be 43. I don't know like I'm excited for him. It's so cool to see, like I will say that two weeks ago him and I went to church together. It's just him and I the other kids were sleeping and I watched him. He was standing in front of me walking up for communion and he's taller than me, whatever and I was emotional walking behind him because I'm walking behind this man in front of me, and I was emotional just because I'm like he is a man walking in front of me and I made this man and you know, it's almost as though you're done molding and you're like pushing them off and you're like man, I hope I did this right. You know, like damn, you know, but also you're scared but you're proud you know.
Speaker 1:But how cool is it that Sean was able to see you in the last, like you know, six years of your health journey? But let's just, let's just say four solid years, right, like four solid years of watching his mom say fuck yes and hell no to things. Grateful yeah, because he I mean he saw you say no to so many things that he knew at one point in your life was so easy for you to say yes to because it was to serve somebody else in a different way.
Speaker 2:Where now you serve people, for the good to serve people, but also for the fulfillment of knowing that you're doing something good for everyone.
Speaker 2:I've never been more grateful in my life that our children, my four, your AJ.
Speaker 2:I will never be more grateful and we really can close on this that our children and every single child out there, that generation, for every single woman and man that we have helped find their confidence and their grace and their health in these last six years, that that generation of children will see a parent that have found their confidence and strength over this time. Because if we have continued on, a generation of parents that have been sad and dismal and not able to get out of bed and walk, with the dreary feelings that we had, the depression, the anxiety, the no strength, the, the inability to get up and shower, I remember talking to someone who didn't want to get out of bed on a saturday morning, who is now sitting up and vibrant every morning, posted a beautiful picture this morning with her water bottle and living in light. Um, people who have stopped drinking, people who have stopped doing drugs, people who have come off medications, people who have lived life again, who are playing with their children who are?
Speaker 2:in pictures who are, and it had you know what it has to do with the scale. Nothing but people who have chosen themselves and reaping the benefits of mothers who are feeling such a sense of light. I am so grateful that those children are reaping the benefits of that and I will never be more grateful for that gift in my life, because I cannot imagine I am scared to think of what my four children would be dealing with if I was turning 43 right now and not made that decision six years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm with you on that. Amen, amen, amen all right.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we're good today. Yeah, we are. I love it. So fuck, yes, hell no to everything else this summer.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes make it happen, guys yeah, make it happen.
Speaker 2:I think we can close with that. Give us a dm on what are you saying? Fuck yes to and hell no to everything else. I love it. All right, guys, have a beautiful, beautiful week. We will see you next time. Bye.
