#53: Aging on Your Own Terms: How to Stay Functional and Fierce
00:00:00] Welcome to 40 Plus Fitness for Women. I'm Lynn, your host, and I'm a certified menopause fitness coach, helping women to work with their 40+ bodies in a more effective way. So today we're talking about a little bit of a different topic than usual. Usually my topics center really around weight training and eating right, uh, fat loss, these kinds of things.
But today I wanna talk about something that I think is on a lot of our minds, and it's been really, really on my mind a lot lately, which is aging. And I think this is a really. Relevant topic to a lot of you who are even in your mid forties, but certainly if you're in your fifties and sixties, I'm 52, you know, you, you start to realize that you're not gonna be [00:01:00] here forever. And probably you have loved ones around you, maybe your parents.
Aunts, uncles, who are getting up there in age and just starting to realize that, hey, you know, they're not managing so great that they're starting to need help. They're starting to be slow. Uh, getting up the steps is hard. Getting their groceries home is hard. Those kinds of things that they're starting to need aids or help.
And it's scary to see that I know for me and I think a lot of others, you see where your parents are, and you always feel like that's the buffer, right? As long as your parents are okay, you're fine. You have nothing to worry about. And then as soon as your parents start having some issues, then you think, oh, I'm next in line.
And, and of course the scariest one is when your parents then pass away because they're no longer there as a buffer. But, but back to [00:02:00] the aging part of this discussion, which is, you know, it, it really is kind of there in your face, the aging, and you start thinking about like, okay, what about me? How much time do I have left to be in good shape?
You know, how many summers do I have left? How many ski trips can I still go on? Will I make it to my kid's wedding? What about my grandkids? And I think in one sense you start to get a little bit freaked out, or I have started to get a little bit freaked out feeling like, oh no, I have, you know, this limited number of summers.
I need to really enjoy each one of them, or this limited number of months or whatever. Uh, but maybe. Maybe a good way to turn this thinking around is to think about what is it that you want to be able to do with the rest of your life, [00:03:00] and what is it that you need to be doing fitness wise to ensure that you can do those things later in life?
So. Uh, okay. And this is a really random example, but I remember back when I was growing up that TV commercials around, you know, taking care of your teeth, brushing your teeth, flossing your teeth, were like, Hey, if you wanna have your, your own teeth when you're older, you need to pick up this habit of brushing your teeth and flossing your teeth.
And um, and nowadays I don't think they use that at all. It's more about fresh breath and this kind of thing, but back then it was about holding onto your teeth when you're older. And I feel like that's actually a good way to think about things. Like, what do you want to be able to do when you're older and what does that mean that you need to be doing now?
So think about things like. Do you want to be able to help [00:04:00] your children to take care of their own children when they have them? So to be able to take care of your grandchildren well, you know, what does that require for you to be able to like stay there and babysit for a day? You know, you've gotta be able to pick up the kid, right?
If the kid is, you know, 2, 3, 4 years old, you need to be able to like get after that kid, right? You can't be like just slowly walking across the room because that kid's gonna be running circles around you. You need to be able to be a little bit quick, you may need to pick up a fairly heavy kid. Um, they likely will wanna play on the floor, train, set, Legos, whatever.
You'll find yourself on the floor playing with that grandchild of yours. Or maybe it is that you wanna travel and you've always dreamed, you know, you're somebody who likes to travel in an authentic way. So you wanna go on a [00:05:00] safari where you actually get to see the animals or you wanna see the old town in Cannes France and live in one of the old buildings?
Well, guess what? They don't have elevators, you know, they don't have smooth sidewalks or anything like that, so you have to be in shape. I mean, I, I went to. Nice France with my daughter a couple of summers ago, and we were staying in this beautiful, old apartment there, right in the center of Old Town.
But man, you know, it was an old building, so the stairwell was kind of scary, you know, it was kind of narrow. The stairs were a little different. Um, you know how high they were. The railings changed as you went up and for sure no elevator to get your heavy suitcase up there. So you actually need to be in pretty good shape to do that kind of a vacation.
What about playing golf? Do you wanna be able to walk the round of golf or do you [00:06:00] wanna be stuck to a golf cart? You know? So if you think about what are the things that you want to be able to do when you're older? Then I think you pretty quickly come to the realization that you need to be strong enough, fast enough, agile enough, have some balance in order to do those things
And while we women especially, we spend a ton of time maintaining our skin, right? So that we still look good I think that there is a very small percentage of us that are really thinking about maintaining our body's functionality so that we can manage going forward.
And I hope that this podcast a little bit wakes you up to that.
It's been really interesting talking to some of my new clients lately because I've had this reoccurring theme, [00:07:00] which is that they've said that they knew they were getting weaker and. Only now that they started with the strength training, have they realized actually how weak they are and how much they really need this.
And there's even been some sense of. Like, oh my God, have I left it too late? You know, can I still fix this? Or have I just missed the boat? And I have to say, you have absolutely not missed the boat. And this is of course, what I've told them. It is never too late to get started. Right. Of course, the longer you put it off, the kind of deeper hole you're gonna be in to, to like work yourself out of.
But absolutely, you can always get started. And if you haven't, like kind of woken up to this realization, I was thinking there are a few things you can even try out doing at home today [00:08:00] just to test like, okay, how strong am I or am I not? So one of them is that you could try getting down on the floor, lie down, and uh, try to get up without using your arms at all.
Can you do that? Or how much do you need to use your arms? Okay. Something that's easier would be, you know, sit down on your couch and see if you can get up from the sofa without using your arms. Because as you start to get weaker, it's funny because you start to do things without even kind of noticing them.
Like you may start sitting next to the armrest of the sofa, so you have that to kind of push off of when you need to get out of the sofa or when you walk into a room, you might assess, you know, the seating arrangement there and realize that, [00:09:00] hey, that sofa is pretty deep and pretty low. I think I'm gonna sit on that chair over there because it'll be easier for me to get up.
You know, so these kinds of things you start to do kind of unconsciously. And one thing that I noticed when I was getting weaker is that, um, because I'm always one of these people who like I am so proud that I'm strong, I can pick up my son's hockey bag, my son who is taller than me, and I mean, their hockey bags are heavy with all their equipment.
You know, I would just like sling it over my shoulder. And, uh, carrying grocery bags and all that kind of thing. And then at some point I was noticing that I was happy if my boyfriend was coming to the grocery store with me because I wouldn't have to carry all those bags in by myself because I was actually getting weaker and it was requiring more effort.
And of course, as humans, we don't like effort, right. One of my clients said, oh my God, I [00:10:00] totally relate to that because she said she wouldn't buy the big jugs of water from the grocery store if she didn't know that her teenagers were home to help her carry them in from the car.
Okay, so if you are noticing little signs like that yourself, then maybe it's time to do one of these little tests to make sure that you are not getting too weak, and even to start strength training.
I have to share now a little bit about my, my dating life. So, yeah, so right now I am dating a man who is significantly older than I am, and my tendency has always been to date men that are younger than me.
This guy I matched with on one of the dating apps, his age was not on his profile. I would never have matched with him if it had been because my cutoff, so I'm fifty-two. My cutoff was like fifty-four. If [00:11:00] I was getting desperate, I might go up to 55, you know, but, Hmm. Yeah. And he actually just turned sixty-one now for me.
Having a guy who is nine years older than me is, is like a huge, huge mindset shift. Or like, it totally has freaked me out because what I'm thinking to myself is, oh my God, how long is he gonna be in shape? How long is he gonna be able to go on walks with me? Is he gonna be able to travel with me? Uh, you know, if, if this thing lasts, like, or am I gonna end up being. His caretaker so I've been really watching him like a hawk, like is he struggling with this and that and the other? But the thing about him is that he actually is like me in that he has been into fitness.
And exercise his whole life. [00:12:00] Uh, but unlike me, he has been into weight training for most of that time, and he has a really good level of muscle. This guy is more muscular than any. Younger guy I've ever dated and he's not like a bodybuilder and he doesn't do crazy stuff in the gym. He's doing basic, safe, you know, weight training slowly, building more muscle over time.
But he is gotten to the point where it's not happening, you know, fast. 'cause he's been doing it for so long. But I tell you, I really think that is the recipe for youth. I mean for men also, and for women. It absolutely is. And I have done an episode earlier on why women in. Perimenopause and menopause really need to be lifting heavy.
And it is talking about the hormonal changes that have gone on in our bodies the [00:13:00] destructive changes that have happened due to the loss of estrogen and how important heavy weight training is in kind of making up for that loss of estrogen. So, so yeah. So for me, I see that. It's great that I have met somebody and well, let's see how long it lasts.
It's early days yet, so I don't wanna jinx it, but I'm really glad that I've met somebody who feels the same way about maintaining the functionality of his body so that we can really enjoy. The years together. If, if that's where we get to. But he's an avid boater as well. And for sure, that's one of those things where you need to have balance and some strength and be able to like zip across the boat to react to, to, uh, quick situations.
So not for the faint.[00:14:00]
So I guess my take on this aging thing, I think this is where I'm coming around to, 'cause I've really been pondering this and discussing this with a lot of people. But my take on aging, and this may be controversial, is that I am going to fight it and. I don't mean that I'm gonna go and have 20 facelifts and try to hide all the signs of aging.
No, I'm not afraid of wrinkles. No. I am not gonna be like, oh, I'm just gonna let it all happen naturally. I am using the serums, I'm using the anti-aging creams. I'm taking care of my skin, using the sunblock, protecting it from UV radiation, doing all those things. Yes. I don't wanna look older than I am.
Right. By the same token, I want to keep my body working [00:15:00] like it should.
So when I'm my mother's age, my vision is that I am gonna be moving in a totally different way than she does. I'll be faster going up the stairs. I'll be faster crossing the street. I will have no problem traveling. I'll still be able to boat, I'll be carrying heavy groceries and because I'm gonna maintain my body, and at the core of that is absolutely.
Weight training. Okay, so if I think about four things I'm gonna do to keep myself young. As I grow older in years is one, I'm gonna take care of my skin, of course, I'm gonna put the sunscreen, the serums, the anti-aging lotions, all those things. Yes, absolutely. I'm gonna do that. And by the way, there's been some research showing that weight training also helps with your skin.
But I wonder if it's actually the fact that one is eating more protein and just eating healthier [00:16:00] overall. But I have noticed a change in my skin. I think it looks really a lot better than it did a year ago. And okay, so first thing is those serums and anti-aging creams, you know, taking care of my skin.
And then second is absolutely weight training to keep my muscles, ligaments, tendons, bones, everything working properly. Plus it helps to keep the visceral fat levels down, get rid of that belly fat. I don't have that anymore like I did before I started weight training. I am going to practice my balance and I do that daily.
Nowadays, I do not have time to go to separate yoga classes. I mean, I have still two kids at home. I'm working plus doing this podcast and PT stuff on the side until I get to build it into a full-time business. So I am [00:17:00] like absolutely swamped. So the way I fit balance into my life is. I do everything that I can do.
Standing up, standing up, I put on my socks, my clothes, my shoes, all those things standing up. I now stretch these, um, spikes on the bottoms of my shoes when I am going out because it's so slippery out. And most people sit down to put those things on your shoes. I do it standing up 'cause I'm like, I have the balance right.
Every day I practice balance, and now I've gotten my new man friend to do that too. I'm like, are you sitting down to put that underwear on? I don't think so. You know, so he'll like stand up and have to do it standing, and it does over time. These little things really, really improve your balance. And then finally [00:18:00] I am going to and do something aerobic.
Of course, your heart health is important and I like to do something that makes me kind of jump or, you know, get my feet off the floor. And the reason for that is that like, you know, when you're kids you can just. Pick up and start running, right? If you look at little kids, if they need to get somewhere faster, they just, you know, start jogging over there, running over there, change directions, whatever, without even thinking about it.
And I think as adults we kind of get stuck in this. I can only walk mode, so. So I think of like my dance classes where I'm like jumping and skipping and all these kinds of things that it's a way of keeping that youthful way of moving as part of my regular weekly programming.
So I guess I would summarize this [00:19:00] is. By saying that I am fighting aging on all fronts. One is on a physical front, so with the ways that I just described, and then the other is in a mental way, I am not conforming to what a fifty-two year old woman should do. I love it when my kids say, mom, act your age.
I mean, I've actually. Run into my oldest son who's now 21 years old, out on the town where I'm heading for the club and he is heading home. Like, this is a little backwards, but that's where I wanna be. that makes me happy to be doing that kind of thing. I like to be out around people. I like to be around music that makes me wanna move and I love doing that.
So don't let your mindset, don't think like. Oh, I'm 50 so I can't do this and that and the other. And I have to say, this is one of the things that I [00:20:00] love about this 61-year-old is that he loves to go out dancing too. We got out, we went out dancing the other weekend and oh my God, he is actually a really good dancer.
So here we are, like on the dance floor. Ms. 52-year-old and Mr. 61-year-old, and having a blast with all these other people around us. So I'm looking forward to many years of dancing. So mindset. Mindset is important as well. And I hope to be here inspiring women to start weight training and to strengthen their bodies so they can enjoy the whole rest of their lives.
I wanna be here then 10 20 30 years from now. showing you that it can be done.
So those were my thoughts today. I know this is a little bit of a different podcast episode. I would love to hear if this resonated with you or if you have [00:21:00] different thoughts around the aging, but I do feel like I have been living my best life, and I know that term is so cliche, I need a better term, but I have been loving my life for about the past. I. Let's say five, six years. So like basically my post-menopause life has been amazing and I'm not ready for that to end.
I'm not ready for it to slow down. I'm excited to see what comes next and I hope that you are to and with that, I will leave you until next week. And as always, wish you happy training.