#59: What it's Like to Work with a Personal Trainer & How to Choose the Perfect One for You

Resources mentioned in the show:

• Interested in 1:1 coaching? More information here>

About 5 years ago, a personal trainer who I was friends with asked me why I did not have a coach. At the time, I was very surprised by the question thinking why on earth would I need one?

Fast forward 5 years, and I wish I had gotten one back then. 

But not just any coach. I wish I had had a coach who understood the changes my body was going through in menopause. It would have saved me a lot of time and disappointment. 

In this episode of the podcast I share: 

• What it's like to work with an in-person personal trainer
• What it's like to work with an online personal trainer/fitness coach
• The benefits of having a personal trainer/fitness coach
• Examples of how I'm working with three of my clients
• How to choose the perfect personal trainer/coach for you. 

Enjoy the show!

Transcript

#59: What it's Like to Work with a Personal Trainer & How to Choose the Perfect One for You

[00:00:00] Welcome to 40 plus fitness for women. I'm Lynn, your host, and I am a certified menopause fitness coach. My job here is to help women over 40. So those who are in perimenopause and menopause to learn, to work with their changing bodies. And one of my major focus areas is explaining to you all about how important it is to start weight training.

Now in today's episode, this is a little different, actually. I don't think I've ever brought up this topic even before here, even though clearly I am a menopause fitness coach. So coaching is one of the things that I think about on a daily, weekly basis. And so in today's episode, I wanted to talk about how to choose a coach and kind of what coaching would even bring to the table.

If you're thinking about, you know, [00:01:00] hiring a coach to help you on your journey.

So first of all, let's just discuss what a coach can do for you overall. If you think about what is any kind of coach help you with, you know, a business coach or, you know, your soccer coach or. Your personal trainer. So your fitness coach is that that is a person who can help you to get from point a to point B a lot faster, right?

They're the person who has the knowledge and the experience to help you achieve something faster than what you would be able to achieve on your own. Going to do a whole lot for you.

But so how do you choose the right personal trainer or fitness coach for yourself? This is something that I have grappled with for my own needs. And, um, and I'll tell [00:02:00] you, it isn't necessarily that easy, but here are some things that I really think that you should look at.

Um, well, first I'll start by explaining my kind of experience with this. So I've been a member of this very large gym in my area, and there are a lot of personal trainers that are working there. And it's a gym that is frequented by, okay, all age groups, but there are definitely a lot of middle aged women like me who are going to the various aerobics classes and, you know, group fitness classes.

And every now and again, they run promotions like, Hey, start working out in the weight room and, and have, you know, 50 percent off PT sessions or PT packages and this kind of thing. And. No, when I started weight training, I really started looking in the weight room when I was there at the coaches, because I would have liked to have gotten one for myself.

I mean, heck, I got them at a [00:03:00] fairly good rate because I'm like a platinum member, right? So it's almost free for me. And in fact, I would have had two free sessions. So I was looking around and thinking, okay, but I want somebody who can actually help me with my goals. And knowing what I know about, you know, being a woman in midlife and what's going on with our bodies and what our goals should be, I was really scouring them, watching them as they were training middle aged women in the gym.

So of course, if they were working with a man, I wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing with them, but I was looking at what were they having women my age and a little bit younger, you know, the ones who are most likely in perimenopause and menopause, what were they having them do? And the thing was that I was.

Not seeing I was not impressed with what I was seeing. Let's put it that way. There was a lot of this Well doing kind of aerobics stuff not really strength training in a way that was [00:04:00] progressive hitting all the muscles and this kind of thing. So I knew, you know, when I would see one of the coaches working like that, I'm thinking, okay, nope, they, they don't really get it, right.

They're just doing some generic, let's get a little bit fit. Uh, let's do something other than sit on the sofa, uh, kind of, uh, training. So, so I think the hardest thing really is finding somebody Who is going to be able to help you to achieve the things that you need to achieve. So the first thing you want to really look at is, , is kind of the thing that they're coaching the most aligned with your own goals.

So for example, if you are, you know, if you've decided that I'm not only going to start strength training, I want to be a bikini fitness model. Then you should find a coach who actually has coached women as bikini fitness models, understands that [00:05:00] world, understands what the judges are looking at, understands, you know, the different classes and categories and how to get people to be successful in that.

So that's clearly one thing. Now, if your goal, on the other hand, is to improve your cardiovascular health, or just get yourself off the sofa because you are a couch potato, you just want to move, you don't have any particular, like, I want to do strength, I just need something to get me off the couch, and I need it to be really interesting and change every day, well, then you find a coach that can do that for you.

And then again, if you're a woman in midlife who is really looking to start strength training and adding that to the mix, then it could be good to find somebody who really like that is their thing, right? Because they then hopefully [00:06:00] understand that situation a lot better than kind of a generalist or somebody who is more focused on competing.

Or power lifting or one of those things.

And as with any kind of coach or therapist or mentor, anything like that, you need to have good chemistry, or at least it'll really help the work be a lot more pleasant for you. And the wonderful thing about online nowadays is that you actually have an opportunity to kind of Get to know the coach in a whole different way.

I mean, think about, you know, my experience at the PT at the gym. Okay. I could look at their bios online, their pictures, and I could watch them in the gym if I happened to catch them in the gym when they were coaching somebody. But other than that, it was kind of like, okay, I don't, you know, None of them is giving me a vibe really that [00:07:00] this is the one for me, but when you're online, you have a beautiful opportunity to start following the people, listen to what they're talking about.

What are they saying in their posts? What are they talking about in their stories? If they have a podcast, what are they talking about in their podcast? And does that you know, resonate with you. Do you feel like, Hey, this person, you know, gets me and they're talking about the kind of life or the kind of results that I want to be getting.

So that's kind of the no like and trust factor. You can do that very nicely online. In fact,

Another thing you may want to consider is how much like personal experience that person has with that particular struggle or situation that you are in. So, yes, you can learn a lot about what it's like To do this, you know, in theory or what it's like to be in this situation or, [00:08:00] or that situation. But I mean, there kind of is no substitute for having lived through it.

I think about things like, I mean, I was one of the last people in my group of friends to have kids. And while, of course, I was watching people with kids, I could see that, yeah, the kids are taking up time when we're, you know, at parties or picnics or whatever. And yeah, I heard that, yeah, not getting as much sleep with the kids and all the kids crying and, you know, all this kind of thing.

Heard it, knew it, like intellectually knew it, but man, it was, it wasn't until my first kid was born that I was like, Okay. This is what they're talking about. And then I really understood the exhaustion, the helplessness of having a colic baby and all the things. 

So that may be a kind of factor that sways you in one direction or the other. For example, if I think about, [00:09:00] You know, what are things that I really, really understand super well are how amazingly busy women in our age group can be, because you've got your career or job, your family, your kids, Maybe even friends, you're going through menopause, you're exhausted, your brain, your body are not working the way you want them to.

I mean, you really, a lot of times you just don't have time to putz around. You kind of need good bang for your buck when you carve out those moments for yourself. And if I look at like a 20 year old, um, personal trainer, Well, they're in a completely different phase of life, right? They don't have kids.

They are doing the personal training full time. So their evenings are totally free. They can spend all the time in the gym. They might even be able to spend the time in the gym [00:10:00] during their work hours and not no responsibilities after they have all the time to prep the foods. They have all the time to.

go jogging, go to yoga, go to the gym five days a week. And they may not actually be able to identify with, Oh my God, I'm, I'm like carving out this hour. And I just, I just need it to make a difference. Right? So these kinds of things, May or may not affect your decision like for me I think if I had somebody come to me who was extremely overweight and wanted to lose weight I could definitely train them, you know and Adjust their lifestyle changes over time because there's not going to be like a 12 week transformation, right?

It is lifestyle change But for sure, I would not want to I don't understand that in the same way as I would if I had been extremely overweight [00:11:00] and had to go through that journey myself. So there might be, you know, that person might not be quite as good a match for me as somebody who has been more athletic, lost that with midlife and is trying to come back to where she was before.

Or even higher.

Okay. And then what about formal training? So there are all kinds of personal training certifications out there. There are very general ones, which teach you a lot like about human anatomy. You'll know where every single muscle ligament tendon is all these kinds of things. You'll learn how to train a soccer player who's seven years old, all the way up to an 80 year old person, you know, and everything in between.

And if you are a woman in midlife, it would be good if that person that you are [00:12:00] using as your personal trainer or fitness coach actually has gotten some training on how to work with, uh, perimenopause menopause women and what's going on in their bodies. There aren't a ton of certifications out there on this, but there are certainly doable.

And I know men have done them. So it's not like you have to be a midlife woman to go through this. And, and the one that I did is one that's, uh, quite respected in the industry. And I, I know that men go through it and they go and the training, the certification, it's funny because the training really like starts from the basics, which as I was reading it, I was like, Yep.

In there. I know, I know, I know. But then I realized, yeah, that's right. Cause they have to catch all those 20 year olds. And those men up to speed on what it is to be a woman in midlife so that those people can better help women in midlife. Right. I was a little bit, it was a little easier for me because I was like, yep.

Been there, done [00:13:00] that understand about menopause. I understand perimenopause lived through the hell and, and all these things. 

Okay. So that's just about like choosing the person. And I think really like choose somebody that you like. Uh, there are a lot of us personal trainers out here, and the best thing is for you to find somebody you feel comfortable with and you feel like you can identify with. Okay. And then a big, uh, kind of decision to make there is in person or online.

And so I wanted to talk a little bit about how those differ. for you who have maybe never worked with a personal trainer before. So let's first start with the in person personal trainer. So often this is a PT that's working in a gym and you will meet with them. You'll buy like a package of personal training sessions.

And some people actually, you know, will [00:14:00] train for a year with the same personal trainer in in house. And actually a good friend of mine is this type of personal trainer. He is a young man who works, um, in, in one of the gyms in Helsinki here. Anyway, so there'll be an initial interview to understand like, what is the person's goal?

You know, what are the goals, uh, how much time they have, what do they want to, you know, what do they like to do and this kind of thing, and then the PT will create a program for them. And then generally the client will come in and train with the personal trainer. One, two, three days a week. And it is like a live workout session, right?

Where the personal trainer is there all the time. Working out with the client, watching the client workout. So sometimes I've seen them that they'll like ride the bike with you in the beginning, if that's their warmup, uh, [00:15:00] with you. And then most of the time they'll be there kind of directing your training, uh, and standing there watching you, you'll do your set.

They might have some corrections to your form. Then between sets you can chit chat or be silent. And yeah, and that kind of repeats over and over again. Yeah. And generally with those kinds of personal trainers, you're paying for their time, right? You're paying for that particular session for them to be there watching you train.

And this is, you know, has some benefits for sure. Obviously they're there watching you, so watching your technique so they can correct it immediately, you know, um, while you're there. Now I have seen personal trainers who haven't been correcting the technique very much. So kind of depends on the PT as well, how strict they are with it, the fixing of the technique.

And of course they have to read the client. Also, some of the clients might not really like [00:16:00] it when, when they're doing a lot of fixing. And, uh, and so then they maybe fix a little bit less. Um, but then. And then the other benefit there is that you actually have to show up, right? You have a set time to train.

So if you're somebody who has a really hard time getting yourself to actually train, this may be an amazing option for you, right? Because you have somebody waiting for you. It's like having a hair appointment or whatever. You have to go there. Somebody's waiting for you and they're going to make you do your workout.

You just can't slide out of it. So I think those are some really good things about it. Maybe on the con side would be that, what about between sessions? Uh, what if you have some questions, you kind of save them up for your next session. Um, some of them don't really like to have you training so much outside of the sessions.

Well, it might be that, yeah, [00:17:00] you jog, like you do your running days or you do your aerobics days or whatever, uh, separately, but then the weight training is done with them. I know this is something that a lot of the, uh, PTs. I'm, I'm in a few PT groups and Facebook, and, and this is a discussion that they have often that they're like, Hey, some of my clients want to train, you know, not with me every time.

So what, what should I do? So I think the general, the general kind of, um, way of doing it is that you, you know, you're doing your weight training sessions or whatever your workout sessions with the PT. 

Now if we look at what it's like to have an online personal trainer. So this, I think is something that got really popular, especially during COVID, uh, when people couldn't anymore meet with their personal trainers. Personal trainers have to figure out, like, how do I make money even if I can't meet with [00:18:00] people in person?

And I think some of the personal trainers actually do this same kind of, like, live workout sessions, but they happen to be done online. So you'll have a camera, you will have a camera set up on you, and the personal trainer has a camera set up on them, and then you're Doing a virtual live session where you're actually working out and the personal trainer is watching you work out and hanging out with you during the workout.

So that's one kind of way of doing it and that has some similarities to working out in person with a personal trainer. They can't see you quite as well, maybe, but it has the advantage that you can choose a personal trainer who lives in another country or another city or whatever. So, uh, you're not stuck with just the personal trainers who happen to be at your gym.

Well, of course you can't [00:19:00] then train with that personal trainer live at the gym. It would have to be a, a home session, right? Okay. And then there's the online personal trainers like me who are not doing live workout sessions, but rather doing fitness coaching, I guess is maybe a better way of, of, um, Describing it.

So, so what, uh, what I'll do is when I get a new client, I, I do, uh, an intake form. So I get some basic information on them. And then we have an initial meeting on a zoom call where I'll ask them a whole bunch of questions. So I really want to know what are the goals. I want to know a lot about the workout history.

Um, What has worked, what has not worked, what they've liked, not liked if they have any injuries, because honestly, at this age, there are, [00:20:00] you know, most of us have some injuries or some weaknesses in our body that are just good to be aware of. Then I also want to understand what kind of equipment they have at their disposal.

Surprisingly, many people have, for example, um, an apartment weight room, or they might even have a little bit of equipment at home other than just dumbbells. And so then I can design a program making the best use of the equipment that they have. And of course, if they've got particular things that they are interested in strengthening, or like, like hamstrings or glutes, or notice that their arms are getting weak or whatever, like their particular.

Needs. Plus, I like to take a much more holistic point of view if the client so desires. So looking really at, uh, changing the lifestyle, uh, in the [00:21:00] direction that the client wants to go. So this can involve looking at nutrition, looking at other fitness besides weight training. sleep, other kinds of habits that you may have and that you want to be working on.

Okay. So after this initial interview, then I will create a program for that client and deliver it with instructions and instructional videos and all that. And then the client starts training on their own. Um, so I'm not there when they're doing the exercises the first time they're watching a video and copying what's done in the video.

And how do I then make sure that their form is good is that the clients will take videos of themselves doing the exercises. So just this morning, I spent about an hour reviewing a client's videos that she had [00:22:00] sent me. Um, and really the nice thing about the videos is that when I see something that I'm like, okay, something's going on here, that's not looking quite right.

I can actually. You know, cause it's a video, I can really slow it down and look at it kind of frame by frame and be like, ah, okay, that's what's going on here. And even. Well, today, for example, I sent that slowed down video with my comments, me speaking over the video, like, see how you're going down like this.

And at this point, this happens and you could correct this. So now she has some feedback and she can start working on her form. And in a week or two, she'll send me a new video of that exercise and let's see if she's been able to correct those things.

So in a way, I think maybe the biggest difference between the online and the in person or the, I guess you can do online, but it's like an in person session, but I'll call them [00:23:00] online and in person. I guess the biggest difference is that, you know, when you've got, for example, the way I work is that.

I am there kind of all the time for you, for my clients. , so if they happen to be doing a training session and they have a question, then they can send that question to me right then and there I answer as soon as I can. I mean, I'm not always in the same time zone as, as my clients are. So I've got clients all the way from like California to now newest one in Australia, which is kind of cool.

And I'm here in Europe, kind of in the middle. But, and then they can send the form videos whenever they have a question and this kind of thing. So I'm kind of there to support always.

And then we have the weekly catch up sessions, and generally in the beginning, these are video discussions because getting ramped up is usually provokes a lot of different [00:24:00] questions and discussions around that. So I think it's really good to have the video sessions. And then as one gets going. And feels more comfortable with what's going on.

It might be that we can do just chatting, like texting check ins, and then progressing the weight training, changing exercises, or if we're adding some nutrition stuff in, then we'll have more discussions around this. So it's very kind of flexible in that way as the journey goes on.

And then as far as the accountability piece goes, So if you have the online trainer and that's working like, like I do, I mean, I can see exactly what my clients have been training. So there's an app where they write down what weights they're using sets and reps, and I can see that and they can put comments on how that training session went.

So I can see kind of where they're at. 

and I love it when clients will [00:25:00] send me just messages during the course of the week, like, Hey, now I'm feeling a little bit frustrated with this, or Hey, I'm feeling happy with this. Just so I know kind of where their head is at. It helps me to coach them. I think better.

I just wanted to give you a few examples of like three different clients that I'm working with, uh, right now. I think they're quite different clients. So that they were really interesting examples. . 

The first one is a super duper busy divorced mom of teenagers, and she was noticing the changes in her body that so many of us notice. And the things that she was doing wasn't really working, and she was trying to figure out what on earth should she be doing. And so much information and just really struggling to understand, like, what can she really do with and also what, what like is even feasible in her [00:26:00] life.

So I think for her, the biggest value that she has gotten out of this coaching is I've been able to really simplify the whole thing for her. And we are really looking at this as a journey and started her off. You know, with manageable things to do. So she now weight trains. We actually reduced the length of her sessions, but they're more often per week.

Now she's just added in some cardio, which she does with one of her daughters, which is super fun. Like they'll do sprint training together. And then as time goes on, we'll just add little things to it. And there was a huge discussion that we had actually, because she was feeling mentally like, Oh, she should probably be dieting, right?

She should be watching her calories, you know, because there's so much about this online, right? You, you get bombarded by this feeling like, Oh my God, if I'm not dieting, I'm doing something wrong. Right. And we had a lot of. [00:27:00] Discussion around this topic and came to the conclusion that right now we're just going to leave that because that's just causing way too much stress.

to diet right now in the middle of everything else that she has to do would just be so much stress for her. Because when you're in a calorie deficit, your body is more tired. Your workout sessions are going to be harder. Your sleep is going to be worse. And honestly, she doesn't need to lose weight. Right.

So that would just be like for her aesthetic desires. And so it was balancing like, okay, the stress, the additional work, the additional, you know, headache versus, you know, do I really need that, want that so badly and, and came to a decision. So, so I think that was a really, um, I think that was something that she really appreciated was being able to have somebody to really discuss that with.

And kind of give her permission not to [00:28:00] have to do everything all at once. Cause it's just too much for her. It was just very stressful. And I totally understand that. I don't do everything either because it would just stress me out. Like crazy, right? You have to pick and choose and understand where you're going to get the most bang for your buck and what maybe you need right now.

And then there's another client who has lots of time to train and. has been training, but has been using, you know, looking for training online and then done those training sessions and now wanted to get more systematic in her training. And actually what's been interesting is that we've reduced how many times a week she works with weights.

And she has already said that. I mean, she's my newest client, and she's already said that she really enjoys that it is systematic, that it's, you know, forced her [00:29:00] to kind of stop and do things more properly. And, and she's excited to see how the progressive overload starts to go. And I think one of the funnest things that she said was that she's now focusing more on eating protein, and she's already noticed that she is not as hungry.

Because she is eating the protein. So just, you know, in a short amount of time, I think it's been a very worthwhile exercise for her. And just today I was going through her form videos and, you know, there are little tweaks in there and, and that's great because now she can improve on what she's been doing and get a little bit more out of each of those exercises that she has now.

And then another example is a client that I've had for longer, who is a super busy divorced [00:30:00] lawyer and just does really long work days. And she wants to, after that work day, just move her body, right? So she wants to do more cardio, but she had noticed that she really was losing her strength. She's in her early fifties.

And so knew that she needed to start going to the weight room. And for her, these are short weight room sessions because she doesn't have a lot of time and she does want to maintain the cardio. And then also, um, really customizing her weight training. Because she has dislocated her shoulder several times, I think it's now three times in group fitness classes.

So, so she has some exercises from her physical therapist to work on her shoulders. And then, The rest of her body, we work on with my, my programming that I've given her. And that's worked really nicely for [00:31:00] her. So that's the kind of advantage of working one on one is you can find these ways of kind of optimizing what you're doing.

And every client is very different. And I think, I mean, I love it. I think it's such a nice experience. challenge always to figure out this puzzle of, okay, this person's life is like this. This is what they want. This is what they don't want. You know, this is what they like, don't like, and then figuring out what can we do to make it, you know, useful that they get some results.

And then also it doesn't stress them out or, you know, that does fit into their lives.

Okay. So to summarize, The advantages of having a coach. There are quite a few of them. One is to make sure that you're doing the right things.

And because there's so much information out there about like, Oh, you should be prioritizing this and this and this [00:32:00] and this and this. Really, even though a lot of times those lists are fairly short, like actually fitting them into your life can be really challenging. And so a coach can help you to make really achievable progress in improving your lifestyle and improving your fitness and your health over time.

There's the accountability. If you go with an in person coach, They're going to make sure that you're there every week or every twice a week, three times a week to do your training. But even with an online coach, there's somebody there watching out for you and making sure that you're doing your sessions or who's at least interested in seeing that you're doing your sessions.

It's kind of embarrassing to come to those catch up calls and be like, Oh, I didn't do anything this week. So it keeps you on track in that way.

That you're not doing it alone. So when you have questions, you have somebody who can answer them. When you're not [00:33:00] sure about something, you can get the confirmation

and it really keeps you moving forward in your journey. It can reduce the overwhelm. So you go little by little. The coach can, uh, update your training program over time. So you keep progressing over time. Last week, I talked about how often you should be changing your training program. And the coach is the one who can say, okay, you've been doing this stuff.

All right. Now, what would make sense is that we train these muscles a little bit differently. We'll keep going with this one that you've been doing. Cause they look at your form, how you've been advancing on a particular exercise and all these things. And then designs, you know, what should you be doing next?

And when, when is it that, you know, we can discuss, let's say nutrition, adding protein, adding some cardio, increasing your steps, all the kinds of ways that you can [00:34:00] improve your habits to end up with really, really great lifestyle for your forties and fifties and beyond.

Okay. So I hope that was helpful for you all that might not have ever worked with a coach or wondered like, why on earth would I want to invest in a coach? I think you can get a lot of value out of it.

And of course I couldn't finish this episode without mentioning that I do offer one to one coaching. I am now opening up more space in my calendar so I can take on five more clients. And if this sounds like something that is interesting to you at all, Like let's chat. Okay. And then decide, because like I said, you know, there are some clients that I can help more and some that I can help less.

So we can figure that out. If you want more information, there's a link in the show notes, or you can go to my website, which is www. [00:35:00] befitafter40. Com. And the only thing I'll say is that I do. Require that we work together for at least the three months because there is no overnight fix, but this is actually a perfect time to get started because summer's coming and three months until you want to be ready for summer.

So. Let's, uh, you know, put you on fast forward with making sure that you're doing the right things and not doing some things that are throwing you off track. All right. And with that, I will leave you till next week and wish you all happy training.