#140: How HRT & Testosterone Changed my Life & Training

In honor of Menopause Awareness Month, I’m sharing my personal story of perimenopause and hormone replacement therapy.

This is part two of my two-part series on HRT. If you haven’t yet listened to part one, Perimenopause and HRT my personal story (episode 139), please start there first.

In this episode, I talk about what it was really like — the symptoms I experienced, how life changed after starting treatment, and how hormones have affected my strength training, body composition, energy, motivation, and overall quality of life.

This isn’t a medical lecture, and I’m not selling anything. My hope is that if you’re struggling with similar symptoms, this helps you realize you’re not alone — and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

You don’t have to just live with it or accept that “this is how life has to be.” There are options, there is help, and you can feel like yourself again.

Enjoy the episode

x Lynn

Transcript

#140: How HRT & Testosterone Changed my Life & Training

[00:00:00] Welcome to 40+ Fitness for Women. I'm Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto, your host, and I'm a certified menopause fitness coach, and today I am continuing this two-part series where I am sharing my experience with hormone replacement therapy. So really my personal experience. I'm not a doctor. I am a woman who's 54 years old and in post menopause.

If you haven't listened to last week's episode, you may wanna start there because I'm going to assume that you have heard everything that I talked about there, and I'm gonna continue

Today I wanted to talk a little bit about things that I didn't discuss last week, and one of those is about the effect of the hormones on my training and whether they've actually helped, and then also talk about my experience with adding yet a third hormone to my palate, which is testosterone.

[00:01:00] This is something I haven't actually talked about. Anywhere before. So you are the first to hear this. My lovely podcast listeners. So, yeah. Um. So the first thing I'm gonna say is about how has hormone replacement therapy like affected my training, my body composition, all these kinds of things, because I know that one of the things that they have noticed, um, when they've done studies of women on hormone replacement therapy is that it has had some benefits for their bones and their muscles and their health in general.

And I've seen comments on social media where people will say, oh, but you have muscle because you're on HRT. Kind of like that's the magic bullet. If I just get on HRT, wing muscles will appear. I will look more firm and toned. And then I've also heard. Women who claim that, oh, I got on HRT and I really gained weight [00:02:00] and my own personal experience is that HRT did not really affect me in either one of those ways.

So I was already on HRT when, you know, before like this whole change in my body happened where I lost my muscle tone, gained belly fat, all those things. So when I started HRTI was working out five days a week, going to my body pump classes. Doing random workouts at home that I found on YouTube and this one, organization here in Finland that I love their online workouts.

But they're workouts and they're not strength training, right? and I was doing those religiously, and I looked great, and I felt great. I was super happy with my body. I was slim, I was toned. I looked [00:03:00] athletic. I looked like I worked out and took care of myself. So everything was great. Then all of a sudden it wasn't so then suddenly it was, it was like just over the course of a very short amount of time that I felt like I just lost my muscle tone completely.

I looked like I had lost my muscle tone completely, and I had put on a lot of weight. Yeah, I was on HRT before I was on HRT when all that happened, and then I did my transformation while I was still on hormone replacement therapy, so that that all happened to me while I was on estrogen and progesterone, so it didn't stop me from losing my muscle.

It also. I don't think it helped me get them back. , it was my hard work from starting to do progressive strength training and then going through that one phase of having a big [00:04:00] calorie deficit to reveal the muscle that I had built underneath that layer of fat that I had accumulated. So in that sense it didn't really have any of any effect.

And, um, and yeah, the other thing that happened with the, hormone replacement therapy and just getting out of my depression in general, and I don't talk about this side of my life so much, is that, you know, I was, I was divorced or I got divorced when I was in. My depression and I, I think it was about a year before I got on the HRT and then things started looking up and the things, when they started looking up, it also included, you know, coming back alive, physically.

And I started dating. I started getting interested in being intimate and being intimate and enjoying being a woman again. And that was, it was [00:05:00] so empowering. I remember one of my colleagues told me that, Lynn, you are like. Glowing and that's how I felt. I felt so good in my own skin. I felt happy through and through.

I mean, this wasn't the day after I started HRT, but that's where I got to where I felt so comfortable in who I was. I felt. Confident going out, um, and meeting people and having fun. And men were attracted to me because I, I looked like, I felt good. I didn't look desperate. Right. I, I just, I felt so amazing and I, I remember in that time driving to the office and.

Just thinking like, man, I wish everybody could feel like this. It just felt so, so good. And remember, I wasn't on any [00:06:00] antidepressants at this point. I had started the HRT and come out of my depression. So anyway, the physical part of my life started to come on again. And I was actually dating when this.

This, uh, phase where I lost all my muscle tone and then started strength training. I was dating, uh, at that point. I, I was dating a guy that I was with for almost four years at that point, and it was right at the very end of our relationship when I did my calorie deficit. I mean, I didn't know it was the end of our relationship at that point, but maybe somewhere, somewhere inside.

I knew that this was not going somewhere. But in any case, like basically at the point where we broke up, I was feeling amazing and then also looking amazing, but we broke up anyway. He wasn't ready for a commitment we'd gotten [00:07:00] together right after he had gotten out of the relationship with the mother of his children, and he felt like he really needed some time on his own to figure out who he is and, and he actually like spent the next, I think he's still single. I run into him every now and again out. In the nightlife. He has met my current boyfriend, you know, all, all those things. But in any case, so I was really actively out there enjoying life, having a great time. So we broke up. That was hard. Um, and then I met my new boyfriend and. At that time, I remember I was really struggling with feeling low energy.

And of course, you know, the breakup and whatever can cause that kind of thing. And yes, I'm, I mean, I did mourn the end of that relationship. I think I have shared quite a bit about that, uh, [00:08:00] with my followers in my stories. It was a really hard time, and my friends were really there, uh, supporting me. So I have to say thank you, thank you to all my friends who were there supporting me through that time.

And, um, but you know, even beyond when I started feeling better about the relationship, I just felt like I was worn down all the time. I, I was really focusing on my sleep. Really obsessive about, Hey, I gotta get to bed in time. You know, curtains down all the things, because I just felt like, oh, if I could get just a little bit more sleep, I wouldn't feel like I'm dragging all the time.

All the time. Dragging, dragging, dragging. So I was going on, I mean, it, it was months, it was probably like half a year of dragging, feeling just like, oh my God, you know, every day was an effort and, and really no energy. And I met my [00:09:00] now boyfriend and. One of the things that we have that's really, really strong is this physical chemistry.

And I mean it's, yeah, and this is, you know, something that I don't share. Uh. Widely anywhere. But I do wanna say it because, you know, when you're younger you think like, oh, sex is for like younger people. And, and when I was in the depths of that Dark Valley, I thought. Yeah, I haven't wanted sex in forever.

Not alone, not with anybody else. I just have no desire for that. And that's fine. That's part of like, when you're in midlife, it's one of those things that kind of fades away and, and that's life, right? You, you just. Stop being a sexual being at some point. And I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine who was at that point not feeling that way, and she [00:10:00] was like, oh my God, Lynn, you're, you're just missing out on such an, a source of energy and feeling good and recovering.

You know, you gotta get back into this thing. And I was like, could not care less. Right about that. I think it is amazing that at age 54. With a boyfriend who is 62 and like the, the physical energy is amazing and we both get so much out of that and not just like in the moment or whatever, but it just, it makes you feel so alive.

It is such a great balance to, you know, the every day. It's a great way to escape, you know, without alcohol or drugs, you know, just to like, enjoy and have fun. But anyway, so, so that was, uh, really great and, and then the craziest [00:11:00] thing was that I started to notice that in addition to this exhaustion that I was feeling all the time, that I just couldn't shake, you know, the, the physical part.

Like, I couldn't finish. I mean, it was, you know, I was somebody like I have, yeah, I've been physically active, you know, intimate for. A long time and I know my body pretty well and I know what works and what doesn't work, and it was like, it just changed, you know? It was like it wasn't working anymore. And, and it wasn't because there wasn't the right kind of things that were being done and, and, you know, interest in it.

It wasn't like I suddenly was with somebody who was incompatible with me that way and I. So I'm, I'm in some of these Facebook groups, uh, where they're midlife women. There's a really good one here, um, in Finland where women really open up about their midlife, their menopause issues and struggles [00:12:00] and relationship struggles and everything.

And I remember seeing a post in there where women were talking about this and, and saying that, Hey, you know, they got on testosterone and things got better. And I thought. Hey, worth, worth a test, you know, to see if that might be my problem. So I went in and then this was a little bit of a struggle to find a gynecologist who actually, you know, not only deals with hormone replacement therapy, but is willing to prescribe testosterone.

So that took a little bit of doing, but then I found two, um, gynecologists here that do, and went in to see one of them and, and she was really amazing. She said, uh, obviously like they do the blood test to check that you actually have low testosterone levels. They're not going to [00:13:00] prescribe it and then run the risk that your levels are too high, right.

Um, and, and so she sent me off to have the tests done and she said, when they get the results back, then she'll write the prescription and then I can get started. And, and then I remember asking her, but what if my results aren't, that my levels are low? And she said, you know, I have yet to have a woman come in here with the kind of, um.

Symptoms that you described who didn't have low testosterone. So I thought that was a kind of an interesting comment. So I guess there aren't that many of us going in there or thinking that this might be an issue, so. So yes, sure enough, my testosterone levels were really tanked, so I did get the testosterone prescribed.

And as you know, or you may have read, maybe you don't know. I read a [00:14:00] lot about this nowadays, you know, for obvious reasons, but there isn't like a female dose, right? Men have testosterone replacement for when their testosterone goes down, and that's good to know also, because if you're husband. Or your partner, if their testosterone is down, they may be cranky, unenergetic, you know, sexual issues and whatever.

It's worth getting it checked, but the doses that you give a man in order to, uh, fix this problem, however you wanna call it. Are so, so, so much higher than what they give women. So what you have is a situation where you're using kind of the medications that were designed for men, for women, and I think it's only Australia now that has, and maybe the uk but Australia that has a female version now out.

I mean, things are good. Some things are really good in Australia. Anyway, so what I got [00:15:00] was, this gel. It, you pump out of the, the bottle and I do one pump every other day on my inner thigh, and you spread it out there and then it, you know, absorbs through your skin. Now, just for comparison's sake, if I were a man, I would be giving myself six pumps every single day.

So it is a considerably smaller dose than any man will get. And then once you've been. Once I was on it for about six months, I had to go in and get another blood test to see whether the levels were staying, you know, in a reasonable like female, uh, level. So, so that I don't start, you know, because. You can use it for doping, I guess for bodybuilders and, and that kind of thing.

So, and, and obviously we don't wanna start doing that to ourselves. So [00:16:00] that's how I got started. And, and I have to say that it has made enormous difference in my life. I mean, that. Constant exhaustion that I felt that lifted and oh my God, that felt so good to finally like, to feel like myself again.

I feel like when I went on HRT, so the, estrogen and progesterone like that definitely made a huge difference in how I felt. But then, then. When my testosterone levels go down, because testosterone is something that gets you like going right and, and makes you do stuff. And it is a hormone that is present in quite high levels in women compared to our female hormones actually.

So when that drops, of course it's going to affect how we behave and feel and all that. And then I did notice like a increase in desire. Spontaneous desire for sex. That's what they call it, [00:17:00] where you just are horny. And that was really fun in the beginning I was like, ah, this is kind of like what a 16, 17, 18-year-old boy probably feels like, you know, can do it anytime anywhere.

But that kind of eased off and I've understood that's pretty common that, you know, in the beginning when you get kind of this burst, your body kind of wakes up again and you, you like feel like it more. But now I've been on it for a year and a half, I guess it is. And for sure, uh, after the first half year, year, it has, uh, gone down to where.

Where I, well, probably my spontaneous desire does it, is higher than it was and before I was on it, right? Because my levels were just so low. If you don't have your sex hormones driving your sex drive, you just don't feel like it, right? [00:18:00] So, yes, it's higher than it was before, but I think the biggest difference is that I enjoy it so much more.

I mean, really, it's like it's, my body can respond to it in a whole, whole different way. And last two weeks ago, I visited my doctor. No, it was last week. I visited my doctor to get my hormone levels checked. It was precisely the testosterone that needs to be checked every now and again to make sure that my dosage is appropriate and whatever.

And I spoke to her and she asked, of course, like, so how's the sex going? And I said, you know, it is amazing. It feels amazing and I'm so happy. And she said, really? That most women will say that it is better, right? Because they've come in because it doesn't feel like anything. And that's awful.

You know, if it feels like nothing and your husband wants it, and you're just kinda lying there, like, okay, I can tolerate this. It's not enjoyable, but I [00:19:00] can tolerate this. She said that, not too many women come in and they're like, wow, wow, wow. But I am definitely really, really happy with how it is helping with that.

Now, training wise, is the other thing that I remember at that point where I was feeling so run down. I was strength training of course, regularly. And I was at a stage where I felt like, whew, you know, I'm not making any progress here. Um, as far as. The, the training goes, I'm not, I feel like I've just stalled on all fronts.

I'm not increasing weights at all. And I do have to say that I noticed that I, that like stall ended at that point. Not to say that I was suddenly lifting cars or anything like that. I mean, I don't wanna give the wrong impression. It was just like. [00:20:00] I got to get back on the path that I was on, if that makes sense.

 I'm not super humanly strong. I think if you look at me, you're not like, oh my God, look at her huge muscles. There are definitely a lot of women in the gym. I complain about this all the time that, I see them and I'm like, wow. They really have nice muscle definition. Like you can see that they have fairly large muscles.

And they're lifting less than I am. So I, I can't say that I've gotten much of a, like boost as far as Wow. I've become more muscular. That would've been a fun side effect. I wouldn't have minded that, but I definitely have not noticed such a thing. But then there are a few things that I have noticed that have been like not so great.

One is that I'm losing hair more. So my hair has definitely [00:21:00] thinned and Okay. Stress is part of it. I mean, you know, running your own business, dealing with teenagers moving out and all those kinds of things is, you know, it comes with periods of stress. But for sure, my hair is much thinner than it was two years ago before I started.

Okay. And I'm happy to do the trade off because I, I, I can do things right. I don't like to be dragging day to day and then maybe a little bit more hair on my face, you know, that like soft hair that you get on your face. Probably more of that, than before. So, I mean, luckily I'm, I'm, you know, so blonde.

Yes, I do highlight my hair, but my hair naturally is very blonde and all my body hair is like white. So it doesn't really show. And I'm trying to think [00:22:00] if there have been any other effects there. I don't think so. Um. Yeah, and, and I mean, one other thing that I will mention that I have noticed, like a long-term effect and I don't know whether, whether this is from the hormone replacement therapy.

If it's from strength training, if it's from eating more protein, if it's from the fact that I actually finally started taking care of my skin in a different way. But I feel like my wrinkles, I mean, I haven't had any Botox ever, but I feel like my wrinkles have a little bit like eased up, especially the lines in my forehead.

And what do they call these that go from your nose, uh, to the edges of your mouth? Like I feel like those lines are not as deep as they used to be. But like I said, I've changed so many things, you know, eating a lot more protein. I have a creatine. I do have the [00:23:00] hormone replacement therapy.

I use, vitamin C, what do you call it? Those, those drops, uh, in the morning and hyaluronic acid. In the morning. And then I use like a, just not even an expensive one. It's like L'Oreal's cream for 50 plus and 60 plus skin, because I figure since I'm post menopause, maybe my skin is more like a 60 plus woman, so I use one or the other of those.

And in the evening I. Use Retinol. Not a prescription strength, but just something that I get, uh, you know, over the counter. And then I use a night cream. So it's not any more fancy than that, but I have kind of noticed that. So I feel like, my skin is maybe a little bit better. And I used to notice that the skin on my arms, for example, was like a little bit older looking, so maybe the combination of all these things, the [00:24:00] protein, the strength training the, creatine and these drops, has led to a little bit an an improvement in my skin. I'm not sure. I mean, I, I have not been very scientific about that and I think those things change over a long period of time, uh, anyway, so it would be really hard to experiment 'cause you're like getting older at the same time.

So are you slowing that down? Are you changing it or whatever? But anyway, so that I'm a little nervous about putting this out, but, so that is, um, that is my story with hormone replacement therapy. So I feel like I am taking advantage of being able to keep myself feeling. Energized and good, by maintaining my hormone levels, as I age, rather [00:25:00] than just watching them, you know, it is natural that your hormone levels decline, but then again, you know, we used to die naturally, much younger.

 I personally feel like. This has added to my quality of life enormously. My energy levels enormously, and I know it is a a hundred percent individual decision that every person needs to make. But I did wanna share, my story because maybe you don't know anybody who has done this and certainly probably don't know anybody who's using testosterone, even if they're using. The estrogen and progesterone and, um, yeah. So I hope this was useful, and please, if it was, let me know by liking the episode, liking the podcast, sending me a little message because I was a little bit afraid to talk about this because this [00:26:00] is so kind of off the topic of strength training and fitness.

But I did wanna share my journey because I feel like these are things that have really improved the quality of my life. And let me. Get through, you know, the, the challenges of midlife and come out on the other side feeling so much better. And I hope that you all understand that if you're struggling right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can get to that end of the tunnel maybe faster.

When you recognize that maybe those things that are going on with you are not just. You know, out of your control that you can't, um, fix them or do something about them. All right? And with that, I wish you a wonderful week and I'll get back to more training content next week. But in the meanwhile, I wish you [00:27:00] all happy training.