#174: 3 Things I Wish I'd Done Differently In My 40s

If I could go back and have a chat with my 40-year-old self, oh boy, would I have a lot to say.

There are three big things I really wish I'd done differently. Mistakes that cost me real time and real progress. 

In this episode, I'm telling you what they were - and what I'd do differently if I could go back.

Take a listen & learn from my mistakes!

Enjoy the show!

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Lift-IT!, my 10-day strength training kickstart> 

Midlife Fat Loss Formula> 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 1:23

Welcome to 40 Plus Fitness for Women. I'm Lynn Zedderloff Eyres, your host, and I'm a certified menopause fitness coach, helping women to build the bodies that they want to spend the rest of their lives in by helping them to start and keep strength training. And today I want to share with you three of my biggest regrets, things that I really wish I had done differently in my 40s. And this comes on a late Friday night. It is 9 p.m. And I just got back from the gym. I was one of three women there when I left. And uh and I'm still in my gym clothes. So if you're watching me on video and I'm looking not so fresh, that's why because I just did an upper body session. All right. So the biggest mistake I think that I made was not educating myself on what the heck menopause is. And actually, I blame my mother also for this, that she never ever talked to me about menopause. She never talked to me about the fact that she went through menopause early and that I might need to like watch out for that happening. And all of my friends who are older than me, and some of them were going through menopause, like nobody said that, hey, get yourself educated on menopause. Because let me tell you something. I was caught quite by surprise. I had no idea that all the terrible things that were happening to me at that point in my life were caused by the hormonal changes going on. I just thought, okay, you know, I'm not going to be able to have kids. I already have three. I'm happy with that. No desire for any more. But oh my God, I was like, I was depressed. I had crazy brain fog. I remember I started a new job and I could not remember anything anybody told me. I was always walking around with a pen and paper and I was writing down every last little thing. And by the way, this was not like stepping into some easy job. It was really one of these going to the next level, to a job you had never done before, and somehow you had convinced, convinced the hiring manager that you could do it. And by the way, I was able to do it, but you know, so it wasn't like I was going into this easy job that I'd done a million times before and could do with my left hand. I really had to figure this thing out. And I had this crazy brain fog. I was in a deep depression. And yeah, I had separated from my husband. So I wish I had known a little bit sooner about all the different symptoms of menopause. Even when I was diagnosed with menopause, I remember it was because in the previous job, before this one that I was hired for, I went to a health check at the beginning of the working relationship here. They have you do a health check, and it's basically to make sure that you don't have anything high blood pressure, cholesterol, whatever that might affect your job, and to make sure that you have all the right medications in place and everything is good so that you can do your job, right? So quite a nice thing. And they were like, they tested my hormones at the same time, and I didn't have any, right? And they were like, hey, you're only 40, whatever I was, 44, 45. You can't be in menopause yet. So they sent me off to a gynecologist who said, Yep, you're in menopause. I guess already my estrogen had flatlined. So because, you know, perimenopause, you can't really judge by a blood test. So anyway, and then she asked, Are you having any symptoms? And I was like, hmm. And the only symptom that I had ever heard of was hot flushes. And I said, Well, I get those every now and again, but they don't really bother me because I'm usually really cold. So it's actually kind of nice to feel hot for a moment. And that was the end of that conversation. And little did I know that all the terrible things that were happening to me actually were related to menopause. So I wish I had educated myself. And please educate yourself. Every now and again, I do this masterclass on how your body changes as your hormonal levels change, as far as like what are very common symptoms of menopause, perimenopause. And then also the other part that I had no idea about, which, okay, in hindsight, maybe it's a good thing I didn't have anything, any idea about it, because otherwise I wouldn't be here today because I wouldn't have suffered all of the loss of muscle tone and the gaining of weight that happens as you know, estrogen walks out of the building if you're not strength training, right? So, anyway, so that was the other part that I had no idea of the things that estrogen was doing for our bodies to keep us functioning, right? To keep everything working properly, to keep our bones strong, to keep our tendons and ligaments, you know, supple and supporting our joints and all the things, right? So I wish I had known. I really wish I had known. And I urge every single one of you to go out and learn as much as you can about menopause, find a doctor, you know, that you can get more information from, or I should run, I uh you know what, maybe I'll just I'll do my masterclass because at least that'll get you going, get you on the map. And then um, and then ask your mom, like how how did they get through it? And then tell your daughters. I've already informed my daughter back when she was 18, and I talk about it ever since. I'm like, you'll probably go through menopause early. Menopause sucks. You need to get educated on menopause, you need to be strength-trained. I have already started to tell her all these things because I want to make sure that she is in the best position that she can be in when she hits that phase of life. Okay. And also, I would say that please do investigate the hormone replacement therapy. I know it's not for everybody. I'm not pushing it. I am not affiliated with any drug company or anything that sells these things, but I will tell you, it has been a life changer for me, a life saver. It did what antidepressants couldn't do, which was to get me out of a very bad depression. So for me, it has been absolutely a game changer. But I know also that there's research coming out all the time about the fact that it is beneficial in so many other ways that probably by the time our children go through menopause, we, you know, they're going to be put on hormone replacement therapy like as a matter of course, kind of like taking your vitamins. Okay. That's where I see it going. Things could change, you know, early days. All right. So that was number one. I wish I had educated myself on menopause. So please don't make that mistake. If you're not there yet, educate yourself. The second thing is that once I did hit the darn, you know, menopause and I lost my muscle tone and became a blob. I wish I had just cut to the chase and paid someone for a good strength training program because the mistake that I made was I went online and I did one of these follow-along programs. And let me tell you, I have been in a weight room before. I was a Division I athlete at Dartmouth College, played lacrosse, we had a strength coach. I have done. I have I have weight trained in my life. I did it all through college. In fact, I enjoyed it a lot. And then I strength trained after college up until the birth of my first child. So, and then I then I didn't strength train again. But anyway, and still, still, I don't know what the heck was going on with me. That even when I knew I need to build muscle, I need to start strength training, what did I do? I subscribed to a freaking follow-along program online. So I did pay, I did pay. And uh, and then at the same time I was studying like biomechanics, how how muscle is grown, and all these things. And I quickly discovered that no, that is not actually the most efficient way to do it. And actually, that program that I that I followed, they are still around and they are huge now. I mean, they are uh a fairly popular brand, but I think much more for younger women because the the founder, she just had like her first child, maybe is pregnant with her second child. So that so it's a little bit younger demographic, but they talk a lot about getting stronger, putting on muscle and all the things. But I tell you because I bought her courses like five years ago, four years ago, and she is moving the same weights as she did back then. So, and I am moving quite a bit more weight than she is, and have quite a bit more muscle than she does. So it is clearly not as efficient and effective. If me, post-menopausal woman, uh, can get stronger than she, who is was in her 20s probably when she started that maybe early 30s. Anyway, so that was really ineffective. And I'm glad that I figured that out pretty quickly. But then I started kind of wing it in, winging it on my own rather than just sitting down with a PT and being like, hey, I need a proper program. And so I really it was probably a half a year delayed results that I got because of that. I could have gotten so much faster to the results if I had just done the smart thing, which was let the professional tell me what to do. So that's something that I do regret. And that's a little bit in my stubborn nature. I try to figure things out for myself, but nowadays I'm I'm getting around that. I have coaches of my own now as well. Okay, so that was two. So the first was about getting more information about menopause, and the second was about cutting to the chase and just getting to proper strength training sooner. I wish I had never stopped. And I'm so happy actually that all three of my children go to the weight room. They strength train. Of course, they won't listen to mom, right? But I think every single one of them would get way better results if I could just if they would just listen to me saying how they could do it to get better results. Anyway, okay, so on to the third one. The third is that I wish I had understood sooner that for a workout to be effective, it does not need to leave you feeling dead. I used to track calories, that was like a huge thing. If if I was burning a ton of calories, it was a good workout. If I'm sweating buckets, it's a good workout. If I'm dying and pushing myself to keep going, it's a good workout. If I feel like I've been hit by a bus after it's done, it's a good workout. And the fact of the matter is that none of those are signs of a good workout. All right. And nowadays, when I do my cardio training, you know, because I'm all about efficient, effective, getting the most bang for your time, I do the sprint interval training. And there, yes, you go hard. It's not fun. It's not fun to do the sprints, you know, where you go absolutely to your max, trying to hit your max heart rate, and then you take a break. But I'll tell you when you're done, you know, in the beginning I was doing three sprints. So I hit my max heart rate, takes about whatever a minute, 30 seconds, 20 seconds, depending on what uh modality I'm doing, whether I'm sprinting upstairs, it goes to my max heart rate way faster than if I'm trying to do it on a spin bike. But anyway, you know, you go up, you hit your max heart rate, then you stop. You just stop and you let your heart rate come all the way back down to zone two, and then you sprint again, hit your max heart rate, and then you stop and you let it come all the way back down to zone two. And then you could do a third one, right? So you first get better, or you know, as you get in better shape, you can do more of those sprints. So you start with maybe one or two, then you add a third, because I tell you, these are hard. I started by doing them sprinting stairs, and uh, you know, after the third one, I'd be like, I cannot do, I cannot do a fourth one, you know? And then I got in better shape, and then I was able to do a fourth one. And now with I do it spinning nowadays, uh, because I've had some problems with my Achilles tendon. So the like I can get up to five, but you don't need to do more than five. So, you know, what happens after you've hit the five is that you sprint harder, so you get to your max heart rate faster. Your max heart rate might be even a little bit higher than it was before. And then when you stop, your recovery becomes faster, right? Then you do your next sprint. And the recovery again is faster. So so what is so cool about this is that as you get in better shape, your workouts actually get shorter because your recovery periods take less time. And the interesting thing is when you've done the five sprints and you're like finished your workout, you don't feel like you've been hit by a bus. And at least for me, you know, my hair isn't soaked with sweat or anything like that, even though I've hit my max heart rate. So it's a very different way to exercise, but it is extremely effective for triggering different kinds of changes in our body and helping us with our uh cardiovascular health, mitochondrial health, also moving body fat. So, so I mean it's a totally different way to work out, right? And and then the other, the other way that I do it is, you know, on the one hand, I'm like, yes, I want to be optimal. And then on the other hand, movement should be fun, right, guys? I mean, if there's some kind of exercise that you enjoy, don't think, oh, I can't do that because it's not it's not sprint interval training and it's not weight training, so I shouldn't do it. Do it. If you enjoy it, do it. You want to dance, you want to do step class, whatever it is that floats your boat. If you enjoy uh boot camp classes, do them if you enjoy them, right? If you enjoy them, do them. But if you're gonna force, force yourself to do one type of exercise, if you're anyway forcing yourself, then maybe I would choose the strength training workout or the sprint nerval training workout, or then the zone two, just walking, you know, workout. So yeah. So that's the third thing that I wish I had learned a little bit sooner is that that kind of workout that we've kind of been taught that is so effective is actually not the best kind of workout. And especially for women in midlife, it's it becomes kind of this medium intensity, right? Because if you can go for 45 minutes or an hour, then you're actually not going at max heart rate, right? You're going somewhere in zone four, which causes a lot of stress on your body. Uh, it's it takes more days to recover from, you're probably more sore, all the things. So, I mean, but if you love it, do it. But if you're gonna choose something that you have to do, you know, if you don't enjoy exercise and it's anyway like kind of a forced thing for you, then do the strength training or the sprint nerval training, especially the sprint nerval training because the sessions are so short. I mean, it's uh yeah, for somebody who doesn't necessarily just love, love, love exercise, it's a great way to get it done, you know, get it done and go home. All right. So those are the three things. And then if I had to pick a fourth, I wish, I really wish I had tracked my calories earlier. I had never like really dieted before three years ago. So I'd never been on Weight Watchers or whatever. If if I felt like I was getting a little bit overweight or whatever, I would just try to eat healthier. Okay, and that worked. Like for a lot of us, it works. Or worked back before midlife. So I had never tracked. I actually had no idea how much protein was in anything. I thought, oh, I'm eating chicken, I'm eating protein. I felt like the whole chicken was protein. I didn't realize that only 20% of the weight of the chicken was protein. And then, yeah, there were all kinds of things like, and I didn't really ever think about fiber and so many things that really became so much clearer to me when I started tracking. And those are useful even if you're not trying to lose weight, because they help you to hit your protein goals. All of us should be eating protein and also fiber goals. Fiber and protein are really good. Fiber is also very good for your like gut microbiome to have, and uh, and also for the feeling of being full, right? So, yeah, so that's probably the fourth thing. And if you've never tracked either, then get your hands on my midlife fat loss formula. You don't have to use it for fat loss, but it absolutely teaches you how to track, how to check your like protein goals, and and the thing I loved about actually doing the diet three years ago was it got me into this system where I have certain meals that I eat on repeat. So right now I have like two breakfasts that I eat on repeat and a couple lunches that I eat on repeat. And because I'm I'm not a person who enjoys cooking. And for me, it is just fine that I'm eating the same thing over and over again. I know there's some foodies out there, and some of my friends who are like, I could never do that. I have one Singaporean friend who's like, Lynn, I I couldn't do that. I eat a different breakfast every morning. I'm like, oh, really? No, I eat the same breakfast every morning on the weekdays and then a different one on the weekends. But um, but that has just taken away so much of the decision fatigue, right? And the stress around meal time. And it means that I make bigger batches and then I just heat it up. So life has just become much, much easier because cooking has always been, and especially when I had kids living at home, relying on me and that they didn't know how to cook on their own. That was my biggest nightmare. All right. So these are really the things that I wish, I wish I had discovered these 15 years ago, you know, when I was 40. And hopefully one of these might be something you haven't discovered yet. And this podcast helps you to maybe start looking into that. And I'd love to hear if you have something that you wish you had learned earlier. Are you like me that you thought that all these really, really hard workouts were like the way to go? Did you know that strength training was something? Were you completely caught off guard by the things that happened in menopause? Did you go through it in the dark like I did? Or were you lucky enough to have had somebody who sat you down or gave you a book or something like that? I would love to hear. So let me know in the comments if you're watching this on YouTube. Send me a DM and Instagram. I'd love to hear. And with that, I leave you to another wonderful week. I guess it's July 4th and July 1st uh weekend week. I can't believe it's this far along. So happy, happy holidays to those of you in North America and you know from North America that are celebrating around the world. And uh yeah, see you next week. Happy training.