Back-to-School Chaos: Why Reading Feels Harder Right Now

Back-to-school season brings new routines, earlier mornings, and after-school exhaustion—and for many families, reading is the first thing to fall apart. If your child is suddenly resisting or your once-steady reading time feels impossible, you’re not alone.

In this episode of the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast, Ellen Westbrook shares real-life stories of reading resistance, shifting schedules, and messy evenings to show you why reading feels harder during busy transitions—and why that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. With gentle reminders and a dose of encouragement, you’ll walk away ready to hit reset without guilt or pressure.

What You’ll Learn:

☑️ Why resistance during busy seasons is normal—not a sign of failure

☑️ How after-school exhaustion impacts reading time

☑️ Simple ways to notice “sparks” even when routines fall apart

☑️ Why messy reading moments still count (sometimes even more)

☑️ How to let go of guilt and give yourself permission to reset

⏳ Key Episode Highlights:

[00:00:25] Why back-to-school shifts make reading feel harder than it should

[00:02:05] Afterschool restraint collapse explained (and why kids resist)

[00:03:12] Finding a rhythm that works with your family’s schedule

[00:05:00] When resistance shows up suddenly—and how to respond

[00:06:30] Why resistance is a signal, not laziness

[00:08:30] Wins worth celebrating (even when expectations fall short)

[00:10:00] The guilt spiral parents face when reading doesn’t go as planned

[00:12:07] What you really need: flexibility, kindness, and a reset

[00:13:11] Sneak peek at next week’s episode

[00:13:46] Reset & Read Workshop

📖 Prefer to Read? Full blog post: https://engagingreluctantreaders.com/2025/09/11/back-to-school-reading-struggles/

📺 Prefer to Watch? YouTube video version: https://youtu.be/sFwgmULY8_Q

✨ FREEBIE ALERT!
Grab your Reading Bucket List Bundle—with 164 fun, flexible ideas to help your child read their way, on their terms.
📥 Get it here → https://bit.ly/RBLBundle 

🎟️ Reset & Read is now available as a replay!
 If reading still feels hard even after school has started, this workshop will walk you through how to rebuild your reading rhythm—without the stress.
🎟️ Grab the replay here → https://bit.ly/resetandread 

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It helps get this podcast out in front of more moms that need to hear it, so we can help more reluctant readers learn to love books and put an end to the nightly battles around reading!

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Ellen: Welcome to the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast. I'm Ellen Westbrook, your host, and Recovering Reluctant Reader. Together, we'll tackle reading roadblocks with personalized strategies and out of the box ideas. All while rediscovering the joy of family reading fun. Ready to transform your child's view of reading from Dread to Must Be Read?

[00:00:18] Let's dive into today's episode. 

[00:00:25] So what if the reason you're reading rhythm isn't clicking right now has nothing to do with your book choice, your child's attitude, or your own motivation? What if it's just that you're still finding your footing again, because shifting from a go with the flow summer into a structured school year schedule, early mornings, new routines, and a dozen little stressors that weren't there last month, it's a lot and it takes time to adjust. So if your reading time is taken a backseat or you're wondering why things still feel harder than they should, this episode is for you.

[00:00:53] We're going to look at what's really getting in the way right now and why it's not a personal failure. Sometimes all you need is to readjust, readjust your rhythms, your expectations, your way in, and that readjustment starts with seeing what's really happening in your days right now.

[00:01:07] Okay, let's be real. This time of year is a lot back to school season. It can feel like juggling a dozen spinning plates while someone keeps handing you more. It doesn't just mean a new grade. It means new teachers, new expectations, new afterschool activities, and a rhythm that's still trying to settle.

[00:01:21] When JD first started school, I didn't know what that was. So of course I was trying to be efficient, trying to knock out homework and reading. As soon as we walked in the door after school, I thought, let's just get it done before he gets sucked into TV or toys. Because once that starts, trying to pull him back out for anything school related is just going to end in a battle. And all of this was happening while I was trying to get dinner going so we could maybe eat before the bedtime chaos kicked in.

[00:01:45] And just in case you're not familiar with afterschool restraint collapse, it basically means my ADHD kiddos have spent the day trying to keep it all together. Their brain is working overtime, trying to stay focused, and by the time the school day's ended, there's nothing left in the tank. They just wanna shut down and veg. So JD wasn't resisting out of defiance or laziness, he was just mentally exhausted.

[00:02:05] So let's fast forward to now. Both my boys are in school. We've got TaeKwonDo four nights a week, plus Saturday mornings, and JD gets weekly allergy shots, and the orthodontist is something new we're adding this year. And honestly, our calendar isn't as maxed out as some other families I know, but somehow it still feels full to the brim. But I've learned one thing over the years. They need that moment to recharge after school, no rules, no pressure, just space. Usually that looks like flopping on the couch, grabbing a snack, quietly playing with their toys, and sometimes running around the house, bouncing off the walls, which may seem a little backwards if you don't have an ADHD kiddo. But it's just their minds that are exhausted at this point, not their bodies. It's not productive, but it is necessary because if I try to push reading or homework too soon, I'm setting us all up for frustration.

[00:02:48] And that brings me to the bigger point. The more jam packed the schedule, the harder it is not to see that afterschool time as a wasted opportunity that could be spent reading. And if you're sitting here nodding along, I get it.

[00:02:59] We've had to find a rhythm that works for our family, and honestly, that rhythm matters even more than picking the right book. And whether your child has ADHD or not, I can promise you, jumping straight from school into anything structured is going to come with some level of pushback.

[00:03:12] Also, can we talk about that first year of school? When JD started kindergarten and I had Hunter at home with me, nap time always clashed with school pickup. That whole season felt like a never ending game of beat the clock. I was racing to finish work before nap time had ended and still make it to school pickup on time. All while playing calendar tetris with the new events, meetings, and reminders that we never had to juggle before.

[00:03:33] Let's fast forward a few years. We've learned to refine our afterschool rhythm, and now we find our footing a little faster with each new school year, but that first week or two can still feel a bit bumpy. You're trying to figure out new teacher personalities, classroom expectations, homework styles, and don't even get me started on sleep schedules.

[00:03:50] I usually start trying to shift bed and wake times a couple weeks before school starts. But let's be real. I am not a morning person. We live close enough to the school that I squeeze every last drop of sleep I can. And now that JD's in those pre-teen years, he's starting to discover how glorious sleeping in can be. and Getting him up and out the door in the mornings takes a little more coaxing than it used to.

[00:04:09] So if you feel like your rhythm is all over the place right now, and finding that sweet spot for reading just hasn't hit the mark yet. Let me reassure you, you're not behind, you're adjusting. And if this is sounding a little too familiar, this is exactly what inspired me to create the Reset and Read Workshop.

[00:04:25] We're not going to add more to your plate. We're going to take a look at the rhythm you're already living in and make it work for you so that reading time works with your schedule, not against it. I'll share more about the workshop in a bit, but the link to register is in the description.

[00:04:37] I remember about a year and a half ago when JD first started resisting reading time. It felt like it came outta nowhere. We had this groove we'd been in, and I truly thought nothing could shake it. But then I hit pause. Hunter was struggling with sleep, and I shifted my energy there. I figured JD could just keep up with independent reading in the meantime, and then we'd just pick up our reading time again once things with Hunter had calmed down, except that's not what happened.

[00:05:00] We tried to restart our rhythm. But it was gone. JD wasn't interested. He avoided it, and I was left feeling heartbroken, confused, frustrated, discouraged. I wanted that time back, but I also didn't wanna lock horns with him every night, just trying to force it. Even when I offered to read with him, he still pushed back.

[00:05:16] And that kind of resistance, it messes with your head. You start asking, what happened? Did I mess up? Why doesn't he want to do this anymore? We all imagine those movie-perfect bedtime reading scenes, the quiet bedroom, a snugly blanket, and a calm child hanging on every word.

[00:05:32] Thankfully we've gotten our reading groove back, but most nights it means I'm reading with someone's elbow jabbing me in my side, a kid flopping half their body in my lap as they try to calm their body down, and sometimes a foot in my face. Seriously, no joke. At times, reading with my kiddos can start to feel like an Olympic sport of how much can they do without me losing my place on the page.

[00:05:50] There have been so many moments I've wanted to snap and say, can you please just sit still? Or are you even listening? Or, why am I reading at all? If you're not going to pay attention? And I'm not perfect. There are nights where I've lost my cool, but this is real life, not a movie. And kids, especially our kids, don't always unwind or want to experience reading the way we picture in our heads.

[00:06:12] Here's what I've come to believe. Resistance isn't laziness, it's not defiance, and it's not meant as disrespect. It's a signal. Most of the time something's off and they don't know how to explain it. They might be tired, hungry, distracted. They might feel disconnected from you or the story. The rhythm might have shifted and they're still trying to catch up.

[00:06:30] So if your child suddenly seems off about reading, even if it used to be their thing, try not to panic. It doesn't mean you failed. It might just mean it's time to pause and reevaluate and really listen to what that resistance is telling you. You're trying to hold space for reading , but then life throws curve balls, and even the most well-meaning plan gets knocked sideways. I've had so many of those moments where I thought we were on the right track, and then life had other plans.

[00:06:54] I'll be honest, reading with JD wasn't a struggle this summer. We had a rhythm, we had momentum. And as I've mentioned in a bunch of previous episodes, we're really enjoying our reading time together right now. I gotta give a brief shout out to Percy Jackson and The Heroes of Olympus series.

[00:07:08] You can check out episode 13 if you wanna hear more about the superpowers of book series for motivating kids to read.

[00:07:13] However, reading time with Hunter the summer didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I had every good intention to support his practice, but we really didn't get our reading rhythm going until a library trip in late July. More on that in just a sec.

[00:07:24] I knew he needed this time to keep his skills sharp. But juggling reading with just one kid at night was already exhausting. Trying to do it with both. It felt like too much, and sadly, Hunter didn't wanna read with my husband. He just wanted to play games on his phone. So yeah, I let that time with Hunter slide longer than I wanted to, and I was definitely kicking myself for it. Thankfully, I realized things were slipping and I made a plan and followed through for the rest of summer. I could have easily kept spiraling about the weeks we'd missed, but I knew that wouldn't do anyone any good.

[00:07:52] Step one of that plan was to hit the library and get some fresh new books. That trip to the library was both a win and a wakeup call. We hadn't been in months, and I even shared with my email list how good it felt to go again. The boys were excited, we checked out a ton of books, but with camp, family fun, and vacation prep, life kept happening, and most of those books sadly ended up being returned unread. And I hated that there were so many we hadn't had a chance to crack open, they felt like missed opportunities. I really started to give myself a hard time about it. Why didn't we go sooner? Why did I let us check out so many knowing what we had in store for us? Why didn't I prioritize this over all the summer fun?

[00:08:30] But eventually I had to stop myself. There were wins for us to celebrate, even if it didn't live up to my expectations. We went and the visit went smoothly. We reconnected with books. We cracked open a few and even found some new favorites. And most of all, Hunter started asking to read to us more and more. That's not a failure, that's a spark. And just to reassure you, even with that spark, I know exactly how tough it can feel when your child is in the early reader stage.

[00:08:55] It reminds me of last fall, when I definitely started to dread reading time with Hunter a little. It's hard when your kid's learning to read. You wanna support them, but it takes so much patience to let them figure it out. You hear them sound out word after word, and inside your head you're screaming. You just read that word on the last page, why can't you remember it? You wanna jump in, you wanna grab the book? You want it to be over.

[00:09:18] Yes, even me, the book lady, I struggle with this too, when it's my own kid. I'm not sure how I somehow develop more patience when it's someone else's and don't even get me started on how boring some of those early readers can honestly be.

[00:09:29] I love that hunter's old enough now that he's able to enjoy early chapter books when I read to him, but I hate that he's not quite ready to read that kind of content on his own just yet. I keep telling myself, it'll happen, soon, and that each day we get closer and closer.

[00:09:43] Okay, now let's fast forward to this year's transition back to school, which is still feeling very fresh since we only just started on August 25th. We were in a really good reading group with JD all summer, and we've been back on track with Hunter since that library trip. I was a little surprised when the transition back to school went a little rougher than I expected.

[00:10:00] That first week, we were all exhausted from the early wake ups, full days, new activities. I had some nights where I just wanted to skip the reading, and I'll be honest, we did for the first two days. I started reading at bedtime, like usual, but quickly realized none of us were in the right head space and I didn't wanna force it.

[00:10:15] I don't know about you, but we anxiously waited to see what homework would look like this year. JD hasn't had homework beyond suggested reading time since kindergarten, so we weren't sure if things were gonna stay the same or if the leap to fourth grade meant changes for him. Last year, Hunter had a weekly packet, which later turned into a notebook with assignments that he had until Friday to turn in. Was his transition to first grade going to be homework free, like JD's at that age, or were we still going to need to carve out time for homework. Last year that looked like knocking out the whole packet in one night just to avoid five mini battles.

[00:10:45] And if your family's anything like mine, the more kids in school, the more activities to juggle, the more chaos ensues. JD and I are starting our third year of TaeKwonDo and Hunter is diving into a second, and I already know that Hunter's class time will shift at least twice in the year ahead as he advances through his belts, and that's gonna mean a shift in our rhythm.

[00:11:02] Every time JD and I have leveled up to a new class time, we've had to readjust our whole evening flow, and as a result, balls got dropped and reading time got shortened as we adjusted. It took time, patience, and a lot of grace during the messy in between parts. 

[00:11:16] And that's the part I have to keep reminding myself because when things fall apart or don't go how I planned, it's so easy to turn inward. It's the part we don't always talk about, the guilt, shame spiral that can show up when things don't go the way we hoped. Even when we know life is busy, even when we can name the reason it's hard, we still somehow turn it back on ourselves.

[00:11:34] There was this one night, not too long ago, I had a rough day reading didn't happen, again. And that little voice in my head went, "You teach this stuff for a living. If you can't figure it out, how can you possibly help other moms?" That voice is mean and it always shows up when you're already stretched thin. But here's what I've learned slowly and painfully and often on repeat. When you're in that guilt spiral, the last thing you need is a rigid plan or another should. You don't need a color coded routine. You don't need to double down. You don't need to perform your way out of it. You need something that feels doable, something kind, something flexible enough to live in your real life.

[00:12:07] And if that's something you've been craving, a way to make reading feel doable again without guilt or the pressure, that's exactly what we'll be walking through inside the Reset & Read Workshop. It's happening live tomorrow, September 12th, and you'll find all the details and the link to join in the description.

[00:12:21] If this episode has stirred up anything in you, that feeling of, we used to have a rhythm and now we don't, or I keep trying but nothing is clicking lately. I just wanna remind you, this doesn't mean that you failed. It means you're human. That life is chaotic. Your family's rhythm is shifting, and that's allowed. And honestly, it's bound to happen with the start of anything new, a new school year, a change in season, a new activity, another year older.

[00:12:46] We talked through a lot today, how resistance doesn't always mean your child doesn't wanna read, how even the best intentions can get derailed by real life. How that movie perfect bedtime scene often turns into a wrestling match for blanket space, a foot in your face and someone shouting, "Wait, I wasn't done with that page." How guilt and shame can creep in when reading doesn't happen the way you pictured and how easy it is to turn that in on yourself.

[00:13:07] But underneath all that, there were sparks. Perhaps a library trip that didn't go perfectly, but still got the wheels turning. A crazy story time that still brought you closer to each other, and the books. That moment of frustration that reminded you just how much you care. It's not about getting it perfect, it's about staying in it. And every time you pause, notice what's not working and try again, even just a little, you're doing the work. You're not behind, you're just in the messy middle of trying to figure it all out. And I promise you, you're doing better than you think.

[00:13:36] Next week, we're talking about how to actually use your library without the chaos, the pressure or the guilt. Whether your last visit ended in a meltdown or you haven't been in years and have no clue where your library card even is. I'll walk you through how to prep and plan for a trip that actually works and might even make you wanna go back. Plus, my favorite way is to avoid coming home with a bag of books you never open.

[00:13:57] Thanks so much for tuning into today's episode. If you're loving the Engaging Reluctant Readers podcast, I'd be so grateful if you could take a second to leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more families find their way to feel good reading wins and real world strategies that work.

[00:14:11] And if today's episode resonated with you, especially around rebuilding your family's reading rhythm, you're going to wanna check out the Reset & Read Workshop. It's a live one-hour session, including Q&A, designed to help you easily reset your reading rhythm in a way that actually fits your life without guilt, without pressure, and without a rigid routine. The live workshop takes place tomorrow, September 12th. You can find all the details and register at the link in the description. I hope to see you there.

[00:14:35] And hey, if you're listening after September 12th, don't worry. You can still grab the Reset and Read Workshop as a replay through that link too.

[00:14:41] Until next time, this is Ellen Westbrook cheering you on through every rhythm reset, every dusty library book, and every quiet little moment that brings your family back to reading one step at a time.