Engaging Reluctant Readers

Library Visits Without the Chaos: How to Make Them Work for Your Family

• Ellen Westbrook • Season 1 • Episode 22

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If your last library trip ended in chaos—or you’ve been avoiding going at all—you’re not alone. Maybe your kids melted down before you made it past the first shelf, maybe you left with a random pile of books no one read, or maybe you can’t even find your library card.

In this episode of the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast, Ellen Westbrook shares real-life stories, honest reflections, and practical strategies to help you reset how you think about library visits. From prepping before you go, to managing expectations while you’re there, to what to do once you’re home, you’ll learn how to make library trips smoother, more enjoyable, and actually useful for your family.

What You’ll Learn:

☑️ Why library visits often feel harder than expected
☑️ Simple pre-visit prep steps that make all the difference
☑️ How to manage expectations (and meltdowns) while you’re there
☑️ Why “imperfect” visits still matter for your child’s reading journey
☑️ Small adjustments that make the next trip easier and more fun

⏳ Key Episode Highlights:

[00:00:25] Why library trips often feel harder than expected
[00:01:37] A real-life story: excitement, chaos, and missed opportunities
[00:02:26] Finding wins—even when visits don’t go as planned
[00:04:25] The biggest shift: prep before you even leave the house
[00:06:15] Managing expectations once you’re at the library
[00:07:14] Mid-visit resets, and handling meltdowns
[00:08:06] How librarians (and library tools) can make visits smoother
[00:09:37] What to do after a library trip to keep momentum going
[00:10:57] Why “imperfect” visits still count (and can spark connection)
[00:11:27] The Reset & Read Workshop Replay: rebuild reading rhythms at home
[00:12:05] Sneak peek at next week’s episode


📖 Prefer to Read? Full blog post: https://engagingreluctantreaders.com/2025/09/18/use-library-with-kids/


✨ FREEBIE ALERT!
 Grab your Mini Reading Goal Planner—a simple tool to help your child set a goal that actually fits their pace and interests (and maybe even builds a little momentum along the way).
 📥 Get it here → https://engagingreluctantreaders.m-pages.com/minigoalplanner 


🎟️ Reset & Read Workshop Replay
 If reading time has turned into a struggle, the Reset & Read Workshop replay will help you rebuild your family’s reading rhythm—without the guilt, the charts, or the resistance.

🎯 Grab the replay here → https://bit.ly/resetandread 

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[00:00:00] Ellen: Welcome to the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast. I'm Ellen Westbrook, your host, and Recovering Reluctant Reader. Together, we'll tackle reading roadblocks with personalized strategies and out of the box ideas. All while rediscovering the joy of family reading fun. Ready to transform your child's view of reading from Dread to Must Be Read?

[00:00:18] Let's dive into today's episode. 

[00:00:25] If your last library trip ended in chaos, or you've been avoiding going at all, this episode is for you. Maybe your kids melted down before you even made it past the first shelf. Maybe you left with a random pile of books, no one read, or maybe you can't even find your library card. You're not alone and you're not the only one who wants to use the library more, but hasn't quite figured out how to make it work.

[00:00:44] You get there and it's often way more chaotic than we pictured. The kids are pulling books off the shelves at lightning speed. You're trying to chase down one while the other disappears behind a bookshelf, and somehow you leave feeling more flustered than fulfilled. Or maybe you've just avoided it altogether because the last time you went, it did not go well at all.

[00:01:01] And I'm not here to shame anyone into a perfectly curated book haul or a peaceful afternoon at the library. I've yet to have one of those myself. But I am here to help you reset how you think about these visits so they can actually work for your family, your kids, and your schedule. Because when the library fits into your rhythm, it can actually make everything feel a whole lot easier.

[00:01:19] So today we're breaking down why those visits sometimes feel harder than they should, and what we can do before, during, and after the trip to help things feel a little smoother next time. And hey, if you're part of last week's Reset & Read Workshop, this will feel like the perfect next step. And if you missed it, don't worry. I'll tell you where to grab the replay in just a bit.

[00:01:37] Alright. Let's rewind to late July. I was feeling pretty good. We hadn't been to the library in a while, and I was determined to get our reading rhythm rolling again, especially with Hunter, before back to school chaos kicked in. So I did the thing. I hyped them up, I loaded them in the car, and we made our triumphant return to the library.

[00:01:52] It actually went pretty well. They were excited. They browsed. They picked out a mountain of books, close to 50 between the two of them, that we eventually whittled down to about 30. I walked out feeling like I had nailed it, and then life happened. Camp, pool days, bowling outings, vacation prep, you know the drill, and that glorious book haul sat in a bin in our living room, barely touched.

[00:02:12] Most of those books got returned without us even cracking open the covers. And I'll be honest, I was disappointed. I started saying to myself, I should have timed this visit better. Why did I let them check out so many? Why didn't I follow through better to make sure we read more? It's such a familiar spiral.

[00:02:26] You make the trip, you think you're doing the right thing, and then life happens. And it's hard not to feel like it was all for nothing or worse if the trip itself didn't go well at all and perhaps you left empty handed. But the more I thought about that trip, the more I realized there were wins in there worthy of being celebrated.

[00:02:41] We'd gone for the first time in a long time.

[00:02:43] We had fun while we were there.

[00:02:45] We found new books to enjoy.

[00:02:46] And even though we didn't get around to reading all of them, we still got lost in a few.

[00:02:50] And most importantly, and this is probably my favorite piece of all, hunter started asking to read more on his own instead of relying on me to do all or most of the reading. By the time we returned those books, he was sailing through a few of them on his own.

[00:03:01] So no, it didn't go how I imagined, but it still mattered. And that visit gave me some clarity on what we could tweak next time. That's the shift I wanna offer you here today. Because one imperfect visit doesn't mean the library isn't for your family. It just means you've got room to make the next visit even better.

[00:03:16] So if your last library trip didn't quite hit the mark, or you've been putting it off altogether, stick with me. I wanna talk through some ways to make the next one feel even easier for all of you.

[00:03:25] This brings me to the thing that changed our library visits the most. And honestly, it had nothing to do with what happened at the library. It started before we even left the house. When the boys were younger, I had this idea of what a "successful" library trip should look like. I envisioned us strolling the aisles together, quietly chatting about books, maybe sitting together to read a few, and then at the end of the visit, walking out with an arm full of books and two happy kids.

[00:03:47] Simple, right?

[00:03:48] Yeah. That's not quite how it played out.

[00:03:50] Those first few visits were super chaotic. JD and Hunter went in totally different directions, grabbing random books off the shelves. They weren't putting any thought into what they wanted to read, what they could and couldn't read, or if the book was even what they thought it was about. They were grabbing whatever looked shiny or silly and leaving a trail of books for me to clean up behind them. I tried to keep up, but I always left those early visits feeling flustered at best, angry and resentful at worst and they left disappointed feeling like mommy was a meanie. Needless to say, I wasn't in any rush to go back after each visit.

[00:04:19] What really changed things for us was realizing that visit didn't fall apart at the library. It started before we even walked out the door.

[00:04:25] So now I prep. Not in an intense, over the top way, just enough to set expectations before we go. Here's what that looks like.

[00:04:32] Before we head out. We always talk through the plan.

[00:04:34] I'll ask,

[00:04:35] "What kind of books are you hoping to find this time?"

[00:04:37] Maybe it's something silly and funny. Sometimes animals are the current obsession. Other times they're in the mood for something they can read on their own or something will curl up and read together.

[00:04:46] I typically take this time to encourage them to grab a few of each. Sometimes I'll even help them narrow it down by saying,

[00:04:51] "Alright, give me three things you're hoping to look for."

[00:04:54] Just something simple, to give us a little direction once we get there.

[00:04:57] And if I've got the time, I'll hop on the library's catalog and place a few holds ahead of time, especially if I know it's gonna be a quick trip and we won't have as much time to browse.

[00:05:05] We also review what library behavior actually looks like. No running, no climbing on or under tables. And yes, I do have to say that one out loud. We talk about using voices that match the space and what to do if someone else is being tutored or nearby, or if the library is feeling a little more crowded than usual.

[00:05:20] The big one, we always set ahead of time, a book limit. Not just to avoid a checkout meltdown, but because we've hit the max limit of 50 before and spoiler alert, we didn't read them all. These days, we aim for somewhere between 20 and 40, depending on how long the books are and what the week ahead looks like.

[00:05:35] Even the language I use now has shifted. Instead of here are the rules, it's more of a conversation.

[00:05:40] " What do you think we need to remember when we go in?"

[00:05:42] " Why do you think that helps?"

[00:05:44] " What do you think is a fair number of books this time based on our week?"

[00:05:47] And when I make time for that pre-visit check-in, everything runs smoother.

[00:05:50] No one's blindsided when it's time to leave. No one's melting down over not getting every single book they touched. And even if things don't go perfectly, we've at least walked in with a shared plan.

[00:06:00] So if library trips have felt a little insane in the past or you've avoided them because it just seems like too much, I promise. A few minutes of prep can change everything. Once we've done that prep and actually head out, that's when the real test begins, and that's what I wanna talk you through next. What it looks like when we actually reach the library.

[00:06:15] Once we're there , I try to remind myself what this trip is really about. It's not about finding the perfect books or creating a picture perfect moment. It's about giving my kids a chance to explore, reconnect with stories, and feel like the library is a place where books belong to them.

[00:06:28] How does that look in practice?

[00:06:30] Well, it varies. With Hunter I usually stick close, since he's still figuring out how to pick books that match his abilities. He gets excited about bold covers or funny titles, and in the process he can grab books that are way too hard or not at all what he thought they were about.

[00:06:43] JD, on the other hand, he's nearly 10 now and he's earned a little more freedom. I let him browse on his own, but he knows he has to stay close enough that I can find him quickly. It gives him a sense of independence without me feeling like I'm chasing him through the graphic novels section.

[00:06:55] Now, if you've got kids at different ages or stages, it helps to divide and conquer when you can. Grab a book for one kid so they've got something to sit with while you help the other.

[00:07:03] Or split the visit entirely, bring just one at a time and put books on hold for the other so no one's feeling left out when you get home. I did that a bunch when we were first starting out, and it really helped keep the whole experience way more manageable.

[00:07:14] And listen, some visits are smoother than others. Some days we're lucky to leave with 10 books. Other times we've maxed out our limit at 50. I've learned to check in mid-visit, peek at their stacks, ask how they're doing, make sure the books they've grabbed make sense. That little reset can go a long way in keeping the visit on track.

[00:07:30] We've also had our fair share of visits where things started to unravel and I've had to follow through on that heads up I give before we walk in,

[00:07:36] "If it gets too wild and we can't stick to the plan, we'll have to leave without any books."

[00:07:40] And yeah, those were hard days, but it didn't take long for the boys to realize that book picking was something worth looking forward to, not something to mess around with. That shift in mindset, it totally changed how they approached our visits.

[00:07:51] That's also why I almost always have a few books on hold, like I mentioned earlier, because it's my safety net. If we have to wrap up early or the visit unravels, we're still leaving with something. It's not the same as the big haul we'd have on a good day, but it's enough to keep our reading rhythm going and that alone is a huge one.

[00:08:06] Now, here's something else that can make or break a visit, especially if you're feeling stuck or your child's in a bit of a reading rut. Use your librarian. While I might be a bit of a walking catalog at this point, you don't have to be. That's what your local librarian is there for. You can walk up and say something as simple as,

[00:08:21] "My Kid loves Dog Man, do you have anything like that?"

[00:08:24] And they'll know exactly where to point you. So you're walking out with books your kiddo will actually love and not just a bunch of meh picks.

[00:08:31] If your library is big and overwhelming, ask,

[00:08:33] "Where would I find early readers?"

[00:08:34] Or,

[00:08:35] "Do you have a nonfiction animal section for kids?"

[00:08:37] They'll take the guesswork out of it for you. Even in a small space like ours, that kind of support saves time and helps narrow focus if your kid's getting overwhelmed by options.

[00:08:44] And if the librarian's tied up or you'd rather look up something yourself, most libraries have public computers you can use to search by title, author, or subject, whatever you're in the mood for. Ours even lets us place holds directly from those computers so we can grab what we need next time.

[00:08:57] And just to wrap this piece up, remember I don't leave the library the second my kid forgets a rule or gets too loud. My threshold is pretty high. I give plenty of grace because I know that they're excited. It's a new experience for them. But if it really starts to spiral and we're becoming a distraction, that's when I call it.

[00:09:13] Because the goal of a library visit isn't perfection. It's not this super structured Pinterest worthy experience where everyone's quiet and orderly and chooses exactly five carefully curated books before heading calmly to checkout. It's about exploration, letting them get curious and excited about stories in a space that offers more books than any one home ever could. And when we approach it that way, they can start to see each visit as the opportunity to enjoy the gift of what the library has to offer.

[00:09:37] Now once we're back home, I try to ride the momentum of the visit at least a little. If the timing works, I suggest they start with one of their books that same day. Nothing formal or forced, just a chance to crack one open while the excitement's still fresh.

[00:09:48] We keep all our library books in a bin in the living room. I've found if they're outta sight, they're way more likely to be forgotten, so I do what I can to make them easy to grab.

[00:09:55] If a book makes its way upstairs, no problem. I just ask that it finds its way back to the bin within a day or two, so we're not scrambling when return day rolls around.

[00:10:03] Which spoiler alert, our last visit definitely had one sneak through the cracks. I'm not perfect.

[00:10:10] Now, I'd love to tell you we read through every book we bring home, but the truth is, some weeks we read a lot and other times the stack still sits there longer than I'd like.

[00:10:17] I used to let that get to me, wondering why didn't we get more or whether we'd wasted the trip, but I've learned to be more honest with myself. Life happens, and some books will sit there untouched. That doesn't mean the visit wasn't worth it. These days, if we have to return books unread, I take a quick glance through the titles, maybe jot a few down or snap a photo and tell myself, okay, not this time, but that book might be the perfect fit a few weeks from now.

[00:10:39] And when we do end up finding a new favorite or I hear one of the boys ask, totally unprompted, if we can go back again soon. That's when I know it's working. Not perfectly, but enough. Because even one book that they really connect with is enough to keep that rhythm going. It can still spark a great conversation, a new interest, or just a really sweet moment on the couch together.

[00:10:57] So here's the thing I wanna leave you with. Library trips don't have to be perfect to be worth it. Some visits will be smooth, fun, and filled with amazing books that capture their attention. Others not so much. You might get there and realize your kid's too tired to focus, or the books you were hoping for aren't on the shelves, or you leave with a big stack that barely gets touched. But that's all part of figuring out what works for your family in this season. Every visit teaches you something, and the more you go, the more you'll start to notice what helps those visits feel smoother, calmer, more successful, and fun for everyone.

[00:11:27] And hey, if you wanna little help rebuilding that reading rhythm beyond the library, the Reset and Read Workshop replay is still available.

[00:11:33] I walk you through the exact strategies I use to bring reading back into our day in a way that actually sticks, without turning it into one more thing on your to-do list.

[00:11:40] If you haven't grabbed it yet, head to the link in the description.

[00:11:43] Bottom line, every visit you make to the library gives your child the opportunity to be in a space full of incredible books, a chance to explore and discover what truly lights them up, and they get to see you showing up for reading too.

[00:11:54] Even if it doesn't go exactly the way you hoped, the impact can still be huge. So just keep going. Make little adjustments when you need to and remind yourself it doesn't have to look perfect to make a difference.

[00:12:05] Next week we're talking about family reading nights, how to make them feel natural and why they're worth it, even when your evenings are a little all over the place. We'll look at what these nights really look like. Spoiler, they're rarely quiet and tidy, and how to fit them into your week in a way that feels seamless. Whether it's a quick picture book on the couch or a chapter before lights out. These little moments can bring everyone back together, even when the rest of the day feels like a blur.

[00:12:28] ​ Thanks so much for tuning into today's episode. If you're lovingly Engaging Reluctant Readers podcast, I'd be so grateful. If you could take a second to leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts, it helps more families find their way to feel good reading wins and real-world strategies that work.

[00:12:42] And hey, if today's episode has you thinking about how to bring a little more intention to your reading time, I've got a free resource I think you'll love. It's called the Mini Reading Goal Planner, a simple tool to help your child set a goal that actually fits their pace and interests, and maybe even build a little momentum along the way.

[00:12:56] You can grab it using the link in the description, and I've included a few extra tips for making it work over on the blog too.

[00:13:02] Until next time, this is Ellen Westbrook cheering you on through every book haul, every library win, and every story that finds its way into your home.