Engaging Reluctant Readers
Tired of the nightly reading battles? Struggling to get your child to open a book because they refuse to read at all costs? Maybe they can read but just don’t want to, or perhaps they struggle with the basics, making reading feel frustrating and exhausting. Or maybe books just can’t compete with screens, sports, or other distractions. No matter the reason, you’re not alone—and more importantly, you’re not failing as a parent.
Welcome to Engaging Reluctant Readers—the podcast for book-loving moms raising reluctant readers. Hosted by Ellen Westbrook, a Literacy Coach (and recovering reluctant reader herself!), this show is here to help you transform your child’s reading journey from dread to must-be read and rediscover family reading fun along the way.
As a mom of two high-energy boys with a degree in Elementary Education, Ellen gets it—the frustration, the worry, and the endless search for ways to make books click for your child. She’s here to bridge the gap between your love of reading and your kiddo’s resistance, helping you understand why they struggle and, more importantly, what actually works.
You won’t find complicated reading strategies or one-size-fits-all advice here. Instead, Ellen shares real-life strategies that fit into your busy days and make reading feel fun instead of forced. From creative ways to build stamina, confidence, and reading skills to strategies that make books more engaging and spark a genuine love of reading, every episode is designed to help you make real progress—without the fights, tears, or frustration.
Each episode is under 30 minutes, packed with actionable tips, and released every Thursday—so you can get quick wins without adding more to your already-full plate.
Because reading should feel fun, not like a chore—and every step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.
Hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode, and let’s rediscover family reading fun—together!
Engaging Reluctant Readers
How to Motivate Kids to Read (Without Bribes or Battles)
If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, “Just one more page and then you can…”—you’re not alone. When reading turns into a negotiation, rewards can feel like the only way forward. But what if motivation could grow naturally—without stickers, snacks, or standoffs?
In this episode of the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast, Ellen Westbrook opens up about why bribes and reward systems so often backfire when it comes to reading—and what to do instead. Through honest stories from her own family, she shares a simple framework that helps kids rediscover joy, confidence, and true motivation to read. This is a guilt-free, grace-filled conversation for every parent who’s tired of the bedtime reading battles and ready for something that lasts.
What You’ll Learn:
☑️ Why quick fixes (like bribes) stop working over time
☑️ The mindset shift that changes everything about reading motivation
☑️ A simple, three-part approach that builds motivation from the inside out
☑️ How to make reading time feel fun, peaceful, and productive again
☑️ The surprising ways small moments create big reading wins
Key Episode Highlights:
[00:01:13] Why quick fixes and rewards often backfire
[00:03:17] Ellen’s lightbulb moment: realizing the “reward” was creating more work
[00:05:25] When reading became lonely for JD—and the connection that brought him back
[00:06:33] A simple mindset shift that changed everything about motivation
[00:07:04] How connection and presence can reignite a love of reading
[00:10:07] Ways to use rewards that support motivation instead of replacing it
[00:14:20] The power of unexpected encouragement and praise
[00:17:17] Sneak peek for next week’s episode
📖 Prefer to Read? Full blog post: https://engagingreluctantreaders.com/2025/10/17/motivate-kids-to-read-without-bribes/
✨ FREEBIE ALERT!
Feeling stuck in the “nothing’s working” phase?
Download 5 Motivation Traps to Avoid—your quick, practical guide to spotting the common pitfalls that derail reading motivation and what to do instead.
👉 Grab it here: https://engagingreluctantreaders.m-pages.com/traps
🎟️Motivating Reluctant Readers Guide
Want to understand what truly sparks your child’s interest in reading?
The Motivating Reluctant Readers Guide helps you uncover your child’s unique motivators and gives you confidence-boosting strategies that actually work.
No pressure, no perfection—just joyful, lasting progress.
👉 Learn more her
Grab your Motivating Reluctant Readers Guide today --> https://engagingreluctantreaders.m-pages.com/mrrguide
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It helps get this podcast out in front of more moms that need to hear it, so we can help more reluctant readers learn to love books and put an end to the nightly battles around reading!
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[00:00:00] Ellen: Welcome to the Engaging Reluctant Readers Podcast. I'm Ellen Westbrook, your host, and Recovering Reluctant Reader. Together, we'll tackle reading roadblocks with personalized strategies and out of the box ideas. All while rediscovering the joy of family reading fun. Ready to transform your child's view of reading from Dread to Must Be Read?
[00:00:18] Let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:25] If you've ever offered dessert screen time or cold hard cash just to get your kid to read for 10 minutes. I can promise you're probably not the only one that has.
[00:00:32] When you're tired, desperate, or just need a win, it feels like the fastest way forward.
[00:00:36] And don't worry, I'm not gonna sit here and say that bribing is bad because sometimes it really can be a useful bridge in the moment. It can be just enough to get them past that hesitation to crack a book open.
[00:00:45] The problem is that reward has to be pretty magical to keep working. And even if it does, the second the reward stops, the reading usually does too. And before you know it, you're in what feels like a hostage negotiation with your tiny human trying to figure out how many minutes of Roblox equals how many pages of a book. And if you've ever gotten to the end of that negotiation, only to realize you're also going to have a second battle to end the reward. Well then you already know how exhausting that gets. Twice the fight, double the stress, and no one's really enjoying the reading.
[00:01:13] So that's what we're gonna talk about today, how to reward reading in a way that actually builds the habit without having to spend $20 just to get them through a chapter book or bargaining with your 7-year-old like it's a high-stakes deal.
[00:01:24] And look, I get it. Bribes are the easy go-to for us as parents. It's one of those tools that we pull out whenever we need to get them to do something. Right? And in the short term, sure it can work. You need them to clean up their room, or put on their shoes, or finally sit on the potty. Bam! A bribe usually can get the job done, but over time you don't really wanna keep paying your kid in candy just to clean up their room. And the same is true for reading.
[00:01:46] Now I've never really bribed my boys to read, partly because in the beginning they loved it, no convincing needed. And then when JD did finally start showing some resistance, I chose to lean more on making the reading experience lighter and more fun.
[00:01:58] I'll share some specific ways I did that in just a bit.
[00:02:01] But have I used bribes for other things? Absolutely. Potty training, chores, homework that wasn't reading, all fair game.
[00:02:07] And here's what always happened. Short term win, long term mess.
[00:02:11] Take JD for example, he'll go along with a reward for a stretch, money, candy, screen time, and for a while I'd think, yes, we cracked the code, but the second the reward went away, so did the behavior. He wasn't doing the thing because he wanted to, he was doing it for the stuff. And when that reward disappeared, so did the habit.
[00:02:28] And then there's Hunter. I love him, but he's my wild card. One day a bribe can work and the next, the exact same reward is dead in the water. It's like playing Russian roulette. You never know if today's "magic prize" is going to work or totally flop. And even when it did work, by the time we finally sat down to do the thing, half the time, the reward wasn't even enticing him anymore, talk about frustrating.
[00:02:47] And here's the kicker. Sometimes the bribe creates a second battle. Like with JD and screen time, I'd say, okay, clean up the playroom and you'll get 10 extra minutes of Minecraft. Great, except now when the timer went off, we were in total meltdown mode. Suddenly I wasn't just negotiating to get him to clean, I was negotiating to get him off the reward.
[00:03:04] And honestly, that was the point when I started asking myself, is this even worth it? Am I actually making life easier or am I just creating more battles for myself? More rules to enforce, more energy drained, more frustration stacked on top of the original problem.
[00:03:17] That was my big light bulb moment. The bribe wasn't helping. It was making me work harder.
[00:03:22] And let's be real. Money doesn't grow on trees. Time doesn't either.
[00:03:26] If I had to bankroll every good habit with cash, candy, or extra screen time, we go broke by the end of the week.
[00:03:31] And that's not how I wanted to spend my limited mom energy, running a rewards program and negotiating like a corporate lawyer with a 6-year-old. So when it came to reading, I just knew bribing wasn't the answer. Because chores, you can kind of fake it, you get them to do the chore once, fine, task complete. But with reading, the whole point is that they fall in love with the process that they wanna come back. And no amount of candy is going to make that happen.
[00:03:53] Now, if you've tried bribing your kid to read, I want you to hear me on this. You're not a bad mom. You're not failing. You are 100% human. You were tired, you needed to win, and you went with the thing that felt like it might work. We've all been there. But the truth is, bribes have a shelf life. They'll spark short term action, but they won't sustain the habit because motivation can't be bought. It has to be built.
[00:04:14] And if you'd like a simple roadmap of what not to do, I've got a freebie for you. 5 Motivation Traps to Avoid, it'll give you quick clarity on the most common pitfalls plus what to try Instead, you'll find the link in the description.
[00:04:26] Alright? Now, here's the million-dollar question.
[00:04:28] If motivation can't be bought, how do we build it?
[00:04:31] For me, the biggest shift was realizing that reluctance isn't a sign of failure. When JD first started to resist reading, I had to dig deeper. I had to figure out what was going on, because for a long time, he was that kid who loved reading. He was voracious, always lost in a book. And then one day, he just shut down, complete refusal. That was my signal that something had broken, and I needed to put on my detective hat. Because anytime your child's refusing to read, it's not just, "I hate books." There's always some reason behind it. Maybe it feels too heavy, maybe it feels too hard. Maybe it just doesn't feel rewarding anymore. And until you figure out what that reason is, you can't really build that internal motivation.
[00:05:06] And in JD's case, the problem was simple, but painful. Reading had become lonely. I had stepped back and left him to do all the reading on his own because he could, he was capable. But in the process, he lost his time with me, and he lost the fun of sharing more complex stories together. And he was left with nothing but the easier books that he could read by himself, which he quickly burned through and got bored of.
[00:05:25] This was the first time I really felt like I was in the trenches with you. Up until then, my boys had been easy readers. I was the book lady with kids who loved books. And suddenly one of them didn't, and I panicked a little. Part of me thought, wait, is he giving up on books forever? It was truly humbling, but it also helped me understand on a whole new level, what so many of you are dealing with every day. That's when I realized the most lasting rewards make reading feel good in the moment, so reading is the reward.
[00:05:50] And the way we build that kind of motivation? I've got three pillars that I always come back to again and again, capable, connected, and in control.
[00:05:57] Confidence matters so much.
[00:05:59] When a book is too hard, it feels like failure. When it's just right, it feels like success. Building motivation starts with building those reading muscles, stamina, skills, comfort with different levels. And sometimes that means embracing the books you might think are "too easy" and I'm using air quotes here because those are the books that will allow them to feel successful and grow stronger bit by bit.
[00:06:18] And when you do wanna stretch into something harder, that's where you come in. You can read together, you do the bedtime snuggles. You're the one modeling fluency, tackling the tricky words, showing them what reading sounds like. They get the joy of the story without the weight of having to do it all themselves.
[00:06:33] And the most beautiful part when you keep showing up in that space, they start to test the waters again. First a word, then a sentence, then a paragraph, and eventually outta nowhere they'll offer to read a whole chapter. I still remember the first time JD did that after his slump. It was monumental. He went from a complete shutdown to voluntarily picking up a chapter, and I just about burst.
[00:06:52] And this summer, Hunter did the same thing. We started out with him chiming in on a single word. By the time we had to return our library stack, he was confidently reading the whole book on his own. Those little milestones, they're huge.
[00:07:03] Now the second pillar is connection.
[00:07:04] Because for my boys, and honestly for me too, the biggest motivator hasn't been toys or sticker charts or even extra screen time. It's been time together.
[00:07:12] When JD hit his slump, I thought about bribes. I really did. But what finally moved the needle wasn't a prize. It was presence.
[00:07:18] I made one simple rule. He had to at least be in the room while I read. He didn't have to sit next to me. He didn't even have to look at the book. He could play with his toys on the floor if he wanted, but he had to be there, listening. And slowly, night by night, he crept closer first on the floor. Then sitting beside me and eventually reading with me again. That's the power of motivating with connection. No candy required.
[00:07:39] Honestly, it even motivated me. I'll be real with you. I'm a recovering binge watcher. There are plenty of nights that I'd rather zone out with my phone, tablet, or the TV and watch my favorite shows or movies. But reading Percy Jackson with JD got me hooked too. I found myself just as eager to pick up the book as he was. When we get invested in the story, it shows our kids that reading is valuable and contagious.
[00:08:01] Not to mention if your child's love language is quality time or physical touch, connection is like super fuel. You're meeting their emotional needs while weaving, reading right into that bond. And it doesn't have to be hours, research actually shows just three connection points a day, of even 10 minutes at a time, fills their cups. A quick read after school, a bedtime snuggle, a longer story on the weekend, they'll start to see reading as both an adventure and as time with you.
[00:08:24] Now the third pillar, that's giving kids ownership, putting them in control.
[00:08:28] Because if they're not interested in what [00:08:30] they're reading, they'll never fall in love with it. And ownership means all kinds of books count, audiobooks count, comics and graphic novels count, Dog Man for however many times they've read it, still counts. Because the point isn't the format, it's the fact that they're choosing and that choice makes them want to come back.
[00:08:44] For JD, it's been series after series lately. We've been deep in the Percy Jackson universe for almost a year, and it's been incredible watching him step up to read a chapter here and there. These aren't simple books, they're middle grade novels, and for a fourth grader, that's a huge confidence boost.
[00:08:58] A couple years ago though, I brought home the first book in the Investigator series. He was just starting his slump. It's a graphic novel series, and because the pacing is tricky, I've never really enjoyed using graphic novels as read alouds, so it fell on him to read independently. Rather than do that, he passed.
[00:09:13] But just this past month, I grabbed one of the books in the series again and casually left it on the table. He finally picked it up, and something clicked. He started coming home after school, finishing homework and diving into those books without me prompting him. He even took it upon himself to check out two more from the series, from the school library. That's ownership and action, him coming back to a series at the right time on his own terms.
[00:09:33] So those are the three pillars, capable, connected, and in control, they're the foundation for lasting motivation. And remember, it's not about perfection. Motivation is bound to ebb and flow. A book you thought would be a hit, might flop. A level up might come too soon, and that's okay. We put books down all the time as adults and our kids are allowed to do the same. It's part of putting them in control, putting them in that driver's seat.
[00:09:55] Every spark counts. Five minutes of reading is momentum. Reading to a pet or a sibling still builds confidence. And never underestimate the power of your words, sometimes genuine praise packs way more of a punch than a piece of candy ever could.
[00:10:07] So I wanna stress this. The most lasting rewards can make reading feel good in the moment, so reading itself is the reward. Now that we've talked about building motivation from the inside, capable, connected, and in control, let's look at how rewards can actually support that foundation instead of working against it. Because I'm not anti-reward, the key is choosing ones that add onto the habit instead of replacing it. In other words, the reward should only deepen the joy of reading, not compete with it.
[00:10:31] For us that looked like snuggling up at bedtime, letting the boys stay up late to finish a chapter, flashlight reading under their covers, taking a family trip to the library or bookstore so they could pick out a brand-new book. Sometimes it's as simple as a new bookmark or a book themed sticker. Those little tangible touches that feel special but still tie back to books.
[00:10:49] And here's something else I wanna stress. Reading should never become the only ticket to get that kind of time or reward. If bedtime snuggles or screen time or quality moments with you only ever happen because they agreed to read first, the reading's going to start to feel like the price of admission instead of the joy that we are so deeply striving for. Connection and screens can be motivators, but they can't be the only way your child gets those needs met.
[00:11:12] One of my favorite motivators though, is book-to-movie tie-ins. We've done this a ton. Where finishing a book earns you family movie night with the screen version. And it's not just fun. It opens up these amazing conversations about characters, and plots, and endings.
[00:11:25] Which version did you like better?
[00:11:27] How are they different?
[00:11:28] And if your child has a hard time diving into a book cold, sometimes watching the movie first makes the reading feel less intimidating, because now they have that mental movie playing in their head as they follow along. I've actually got a whole episode on book-to-movie tie-ins if you wanna dive deeper, I'll drop the link for that in the description. Inside. I share all kinds of ways to make those comparisons fun, whether you watch the movie first or save it as the big reward after reading.
[00:11:50] Now, sometimes the motivator doesn't even look like a reward, it looks like fun. I'll never forget the first time we built a fort in our living room. I bought this Ultimate Fort Builder Kit from Lakeshore Learning, the boys wanted to do a little camp out with their dad. The goal was just to have them sleep in a darker space since our living room doesn't have any curtains. But the happy byproduct was realizing that we still needed to fit in bedtime reading, and suddenly we were all cozied up inside the fort with the air mattress, flashlight on, books open, and you know what? That turned into one of the most magical family reading nights ever. The fort became part of the vibe, and since then, every couple months we'll break out the kits, build some crazy new structure and turn it into a reading and movie camp out. It's playful, it's special, and it's something they always look forward to.
[00:12:30] Another one the boys really love, is silly voices and acting out the stories.
[00:12:33] Just recently I was asked to be a mystery reader in Hunter's class. I chose one of our family favorites, The Prince, The Witch, The Thief, and The Bears by Alistair Chisolm.
[00:12:41] It's a really cute story with really dynamic characters, and it's just one of those books that's just begging to be read with over the top voices and big gestures. And sure enough, the kids were hooked because I wasn't just reading the words on the page, I was performing a story. That's another way reading becomes a reward, it becomes an experience that they can laugh and join in on.
[00:12:59] Silly voices and acting things out are just the beginning. If you want more ideas, I've got a blog post with 12 quick ways to make reading fun. I'm gonna drop the link for that in the description as well. Because sometimes just switching up the vibe is all it takes to reset that motivation.
[00:13:13] Now, I know sometimes as parents, we want a little system in place to really track that progress is happening. And that can work too, you can use short term scaffolds that point back to reading. Maybe that's beads in a jar for every reading session, a sticker for every chapter finished, or even a simple visual like my Reading Stamina Tracker. It's an easy way for kids to see their progress. I want you to think of this as training wheels, something that supports 'em for a season, but not something that you keep forever.
[00:13:35] Keep it small, keep it light, and let the reading be what matters most.
[00:13:39] And if you do wanna use bigger rewards, try to save them for the backend as a surprise bonus for the effort they've already shown. I did this recently with JD as we were finishing the Heroes of Olympus series. See now he didn't know that there was a fan written, alternate ending at the back of the book. So, after he helped me finish reading the final two chapters, instead of turning out the light and saying goodnight like he expected, I sprung it on him. He was so excited to dive into the alternate ending. And the best part, it led to a whole conversation about how if you don't like the ending of a book, you can always imagine your own. JD actually preferred the fan ending over the real one. I begged to differ, but to each his own. Bottom line. I loved using that moment to encourage him to start thinking about writing his own ending someday.
[00:14:20] That's the power of rewarding after the fact. It feels like a gift, not a bribe.
[00:14:24] And honestly, some of the best rewards aren't even things. Sometimes it's just you saying, "I'm proud of you!" or giving them a hug, or spending those 10 minutes of undivided time.
[00:14:32] Just the other day, JD let his brother have the last bag of cool ranch Doritos, which is basically sibling sainthood. I didn't promise him anything ahead of time, but after dinner, I gave him a hug, told him how proud I was, and I may have snuck in a little extra dessert. That kind of surprise reinforcement can be way more powerful than dangling a prize beforehand.
[00:14:49] The key thing I want you to remember here is that these aren't forever fixes. They're tools you can rotate in and out. Some kids, like Hunter, might burn through motivators super fast. And that's okay, it just means you need to keep experimenting until you find what clicks. And if a motivator flops, that's not a failure, that's feedback, you just reset and try again.
[00:15:07] And if you've already grabbed my Motivating Reluctant Readers Guide, this is exactly where you'll see those personality based motivators shine, whether your child's competitive, artsy, social, or somewhere in between. And if you haven't yet, I'll drop the link in the description so you can check it out.
[00:15:20] And if your child doesn't fit neatly into one of those categories, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a DM, because chances are you'll be the inspiration for a future update to the guide.
[00:15:28] So here's the bottom line. At the end of the day, this isn't about bribing or battling. It's about building motivation that lasts, the kind that grows from stories, from connection, from your child, feeling capable and in control. And I wanna remind you of this, dips and motivation are normal. They don't mean that you failed. They don't mean your child's gonna hate reading forever. They just mean it's time to adjust, reset, and try something new. That's all part of the process.
[00:15:50] So instead of chasing perfection, I want you to celebrate the little wins. Five minutes of reading, listening to an audiobook in the car, reading to a pet or sibling. Every single one of those moments stacks up and builds the love of reading over time.
[00:16:02] And if you've been feeling stuck or second guessing yourself, you're not alone. I've been there. Other moms have been there. And it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're human and that you care enough to keep trying.
[00:16:11] And honestly, that's the piece that matters most. You're willing to stick it out. You're willing to keep showing up and experimenting until you find what works for your unique reluctant reader. Because every kid's different. A reward that works beautifully for one, probably will flop for another. Hunter's my prime example of that, the only thing I can count on with him is that anytime I lean into connection, my presence, my time, making him laugh, that's the motivator that hits home.
[00:16:36] And if you've been feeling frustrated, it's not wrong to feel that way. At times, getting your reluctant reader on board with reading can feel like a never ending uphill climb as you try to unlock that reading magic for them .
[00:16:46] And you definitely don't have to stop rewarding reading altogether. The trick is making sure the reward works with the habit, not against it. Because let's be honest, that constant cycle of nagging, negotiating, or bargaining, it's exhausting. And you deserve better than feeling like the family lawyer at bedtime just to get a book open.
[00:17:01] This is about shifting the story. When we help our kids feel capable, connected, and in control, the motivation grows from inside. The reading itself becomes the reward, and that's what lasts. So keep stacking those little wins. Keep showing up, and I promise you'll see that spark grow.
[00:17:17] Next week we're talking about reader identity, how your child sees themself when it comes to books. If you've ever heard, I'm just not a reader or watched your child avoid picking up a book unless it's required. This one's for you. We'll dig into the small moments and family habits that shape identity and how to rewrite the story that they're telling themselves so they believe that they're a reader, even if they don't feel like one yet.
[00:17:37] So tune in next week. It's a powerful shift that can change the way your child relates to reading for years to come.
[00:17:44] Thanks so much for tuning into today's episode. If you're loving the Engaging Reluctant Readers podcast, I'd be so grateful. If you take a second to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more families find their way to practical tools and feel-good reading wins.
[00:17:55] And if today's episode has you wondering what not to do when it comes to motivating your child. I've got you covered my free guide 5 Motivation Traps to Avoid walks you through the most common pitfalls parents face and what to try instead. It's quick, practical, and will give you clarity the next time you're feeling stuck. You can grab your copy using the link in the description.
[00:18:14] Until next time, this is Ellen Westbrook wishing you a happy reading and motivation that builds one page at a time.