Get Out Of Your Own Way with Sam DeSalvo

How to Quickly Get Out of a Rut and Get Motivated

May 31, 2023 Samantha DeSalvo Season 1 Episode 6
Get Out Of Your Own Way with Sam DeSalvo
How to Quickly Get Out of a Rut and Get Motivated
Show Notes Transcript

Hello my friends!! It's your girl, Sam DeSalvo, and in this episode of the "Get Out of Your Way" podcast, we're diving into practical tips on how to break free from a rut and rediscover happiness. Join me as we explore the power of a life audit, finding joy in the little things, setting small goals, and going easy on ourselves. Get ready for a casual and empowering conversation that will uplift your spirits and help you embrace the small wins along the way. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast for more inspiring content on wellness, motivation, productivity, healthy living, and business. Let's get out of that rut together and create a life filled with happiness and fulfillment! 



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Hello my friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Get Out of Your Own Way podcast. I'm your host, Sam DeSalvo, and on this podcast we talk all things wellness motivation. Productivity, healthy living and business. If this is your first time stumbling upon this podcast, I'm so glad you are here and if you are returning, welcome back. I'm also glad that you are here. Thank you again for listening in. I am recording this on a Thursday night. With that said, there's a couple things. So I've been waiting for the sun to set because it's been looking very crazy on camera. And I also have a new lighting setup. I have two big lights on the side of me, and then in my camera in the middle, I have one on top of that. So if you are watching on YouTube, let me know in the comments if you like the new lighting setup and if it's helping. But I have to say it is kind of intimidating with these big like studio lights on the side of me and then my camera in the middle. But we are adjusting. And along with that, I had meetings during the day today, so I couldn't record until later today. So I feel like I'm a little bit lower energy, but I gave myself a pep talk because I do love recording this podcast and I wanna show up as my best self for you guys. So I am happy to be here right now and being able to bring you today's topic and with today's topic. We're gonna be talking about how to get out of a rut. And when I started this podcast, I felt so inspired. I felt motivated. I felt ready to give you guys so much advice of getting out of your own way and just different tactics and tools. But recently, I feel like that's all I have been doing is getting in my own way. And I felt like I was. Or I am in a little bit of a rut. So I felt like there was no better way to show up for you guys as my most vulnerable self. And this podcast is a lot about what I have learned along the way, but it's also gonna be so much about what I will learn along the way too. Like I will never s. Stop improving and growing as a person. So I want to just show up in real time for you guys with, the struggles I face, the achievements, all the advice that I can bring to you. And I think there's just no better than, the present with bringing you guys this stuff. So I actually had the thought to myself not too long ago of. Wow. Like I haven't struggled with my anxiety or my depression in so long, and I felt so, so grateful for that. And it definitely has a lot to do with since I gave my life over to Jesus and I was saved a lot of those chains had been broken off me at that time, but still with that said, I do struggle with those things from time to time and I felt like when I had that thought that, wow, I haven't struggled with these things in such a long time. It was like bam, those things kind of started flooding again and again. I felt like I signaled my brain to. Like have those kind of negative thought patterns again. So I found myself kind of. Falling into this rut. So the way that I think about it in my own head is I have a baseline, and my baseline is like I'm steady, I'm cool, that like I'm fine. And then you have highs and lows beyond that. So you have your really happy days and your life's great and that's like your high. And then you have, from your baseline, you go low. And that's where, you fall into these ruts and you get kind of negative and life's. Sucks and blah, blah, blah. So I felt like I was starting to slip into that and I was like, okay I wanna catch myself before I fall too much. I don't want to get too low, and I want to start bringing myself out of this rut before I get too deep in the rut. So that's exactly what I wanna talk to you guys today about, is what am I actively doing to get out of this rut? What are some practices that I'm, I'm doing to see more positivity in my life? And, How am I getting back to baseline every day? So if you are in a rut or you have been in a rut, I hope you enjoy today's episode. I think there's something in here for every single one of you. The first thing. That I'm doing is doing an audit of my life. So what is working in my life right now? What is not working in my life right now? What it is that makes me really happy and brings me a lot of joy every single day, and what are the tasks or the things that I'm really dreading? And so sitting down, taking some, a intentional time set aside to really think about what that looks like. And if you can't even think of any, Of the good things right now. Like if you are in such a low, low place and you're like, I don't even know what I enjoy anymore. Try to think of a time that you were really happy and think about why you were so happy. Were you doing a job that you really liked doing? Were you spending more time with your friends? Were you practicing more self-care? Like, try to think about what it was about that time that you did feel so, so happy. By acknowledging these areas and taking notice of what is and what isn't working, you're able to kind of create a plan and do more of the things that make you happy. And then the things that aren't making you happy, you can make a plan to change them. So, like I said, if it is a job that you're not too happy about or something in your job that you're dreading, you're able to kind of take charge of it and. Look for an alternative look, you can start looking for other jobs, if that's what it is or if it's something, let's say in a relationship, like maybe you can bring that to your significant other and talk about it with them and say like, Hey, like this isn't really working for me anymore. Hey, like, I think we should be doing this, whatever it may be in your own life. I definitely think that's so important to take a life audit figure out. What makes you happy? What makes you, you, and then what are the things that just don't align with you? Because that is your body telling you, Hey, this is not who we are supposed to be. This is not working for us anymore. And listen to your body. My mom always told me that. Anxiety is usually there for a reason. It's your body letting that something isn't right. And I think it's super important to listen to those signals because we wanna listen to our gut and listen to our instincts. And if you are a believer of a higher power, it is probably. That higher power God telling you that this is not where what I have for you. I have so much more in store for you. And I think obviously it's so important to listen to those things so that you do end up on the right path that you're supposed to be on. You can do this by, writing in a journal. That's usually what I do. Writing in your notes app just like I said, taking some intentional time, put aside, meditate on these kinds of things, what it is that makes you happy, and try to make a plan to change some of those things for you. Some of the things for me that when I was doing my audit, I found was I love working out. I love it. But recently I have started to dread it and I was like, okay, why, why do, have I started to dread it? This is something that I love and it makes, it usually makes me so happy. When it comes to exercise and working out and stuff, I feel like I've made it more of a chore than an enjoyment I have made it something that I need to, like check off my list instead of making it something that I wanna go do. And it's because I'm doing things, exercises that I wasn't enjoying. So, going to the regular gym and, doing upper body, doing lower body, and. Like putting in my headphones and planning a workout, like it just felt like a lot of work to me. And maybe I will fall back in love with that one day. But as of right now, that is not the groove that I'm looking for. So with that said, the, my plan of action to change that is just to do workouts that I thoroughly enjoy doing. And this literally can range all across the board. Right now I do have specific fitness goals that I'm aiming towards, but on top of that, I'm doing workouts that I love doing in my body will follow along with it. And I feel like as long as I'm moving my body and being active and still strength training, of course I'm gonna be fine. And it's gonna be better in the long run because I'm taking care of my mental health and it's something that I'm gonna enjoy going to do. And. Not find an excuse to get out of it. So that's frankly what I was feeling like before. I was like, Ugh. Like I just don't want to go do this workout that I don't enjoy. Like this doesn't seem fun to me at all. So I'm trying to replace that with things that I really, really like to do. And those things are doing spin classes working out with friends. Doing just workout classes as a whole, like someone leading the class, going to CrossFit a couple times a week. Not overdoing it with CrossFit, but still incorporating it. Cuz I do enjoy it, but I don't enjoy it to a certain level when it becomes, like I said, like a chore and I am really just trying to focus on getting back to the point where I love working out and I'm doing it cuz it makes me happy, not because it's something that I need to check off my list. So another thing in my own life audit, and I hope that you guys find this helpful and that it gets your own wheels spinning in your head about what's working in your life, what may not be working in your life was so my job. I own my own business. I own a digital marketing agency and I'm very grateful for it, for sure. I've had this business for about five years now. So with that said, there have been ebbs and flows as an entrepreneur that, you have your great moments and then you have other moments in tasks that just don't feel as appealing to you and. Right now I am focusing on the tasks that I enjoy doing the most because I feel as if the tasks that I enjoy doing the most, I'm gonna do the, I'm gonna do the best quality work on those, the, the tasks that I don't enjoy doing, I'm going to one, rush through them and not do my best work and then probably feel guilty for the quality of work that I produced on a project. So right now I am just, analyzing what it is in my job, what are the tasks that I love, love doing, and I wanna do more of those so what that looks like for me is I absolutely love creating content. I love seeing the final product come to life with my own content, but also with my client's content. So I am trying to focus on doing more of that. And then on top of that, I love doing. Coaching and educational content. So I loved doing strategy sessions, coaching sessions, one-on-one sessions so I've been just trying to find more clients that align with that and just focusing on doing more of that kind of work. I definitely encourage you guys to do a life audit and find the things that are working for you versus the things that are just not really working for you anymore, and make a plan and try to tackle those things. So moving right along. The second thing that I'm trying to do right now to get out of this rut is to start romanticizing the things in my life. So I feel like the word romanticizing and romanticizing your life, blah, blah, blah, is so overused, like on social media and on TikTok especially. It's like, oh, romanticizing my life. So I don't wanna come off as that person right now, but I do feel as if there is something special in enjoying the moments a little bit more so the things that would normally just be mundane to you or the things you would just do without thinking about if we can bring more awareness to the things that we are doing and treat everything. As if it's something special in our life, then I just feel as if there brings so much more joy in it. So like even having your cup of coffee in the morning, if you really just, take your time with it, make it a thing. Don't like rush to the coffee pot and throw a cake up in, like really take your time and make that something special for you. And just try to be conscious about all the small things that you do in your life. So if you guys follow me on TikTok, then that I'm doing a little series right now called Getting Out of My Own Way, and it's helping me romanticize the things in my life. So I did one that I was very anxious the other night and me and my dog went on a little date together. So we went to the driving range nearby. I got him an ice cream and we actually stood in line for, I'm not kidding, 25 minutes for them to tell me they were out of golf balls. So couldn't really hit any golf balls anyways, but the whole time driving up there listening to music and then just. Spending quality time with my dog and having an ice cream together, like taking in those moments a little bit more than you normally would, and I've been trying to do smaller things like that every single day. So for example, I had an hour break in between work the other day, and instead of just like sitting in my bed or scrolling on social media, I geared up and slapped my roller blades on and went for. A little ride down the bike path and it just brought so much joy into my day and I've just put on a really good playlist and I was listening to Music Fiveing out, and I felt like a main character in a movie because it just really brought me out of the normal day to day tasks and, and trying to enjoy those little moments each day more. So in this same exact category of quote unquote romanticizing my life, something that I'm doing is getting creative and creating content So lately I've been trying to create more content and tap into the creative side of myself. So if you are a creative person, whether that be writing, painting, dancing, creating videos. Creating songs, whatever it is I, that creative side of your brain. I think if you are feeling like you are in a rut, try to tap into that. Cuz for me, when I'm creating videos or creating podcasts and stuff and seeing, like I said, seeing the final. Product come to life. I love just even working on these projects, the behind the scenes of it all. It makes me so, so happy. So that's something that I've been trying to do lately and I'm gonna actually tap into the world of YouTube soon. So I will be doing this in my job and doing more of the things that I enjoy doing on a daily basis and being able to incorporate into my job is really amazing. So again, if you are a creative person, I encourage you to create content. And if you follow me on TikTok, I am creating content around this exact topic, how to get out of my own way. So I'm kind of combining two of my interests right now. So getting out of this rut in, This topic of getting out of your own way. That's why I created this podcast. And then on top of that, creating content and then creating the content for it, those two things bring me a lot of joy. So I'm kind of bringing my two interests. Together. And just sharing all the different things that I'm doing to get out of this rut. So the small things that I'm doing, whether that be going rollerblading, going on a date with my dog, dying my hair, trying new makeup for the first time. Just like these little, little things that I feel like are bringing so much joy to my life. I feel like taking care of myself and my mental health again, and really putting conscious effort into these things are helping me a lot get out of this rut. So when it comes to this topic of like romanticizing your life, I just encourage you guys to tap into your passions and do what makes you happy. Try to take those moments and incorporate them daily, weekly, whatever you have time for and try to take the little moments in a little bit more. Which brings me to another point that I have, which is don't take yourself so seriously. So I am the queen at this. I am always thinking five years ahead and I'm always thinking I need to be a whole step ahead of where I'm at. I've recently come to terms with this and I am trying to slow down and not take everything so seriously. So I have the mentality of if I'm not working, I feel guilty or. When I do sit down to work, everything's on fire. Like I'm just a very intense person. So I have been trying to really be mindful of this and tell myself like, you work to live. You don't live to work. So do your best that you can while you are at work. But then once you're done your work, you did the best you could that day. Now it's time for you to enjoy your life. Because at the end of the day, we don't want these moments right now to pass us by because we are thinking five years ahead or we need to, we, we think that we need to be someone or somewhere that we don't need to be at in. And then once we get to that five year mark that we wanted to be at, we'll be thinking the next five years ahead. So really just try to take today for what it is. Don't take it for granted and enjoy all the things that surround your life. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your friends. Enjoy the chapter that you are in right now. And I sound like I'm preaching right now and talking to you guys, but I think it's more of a reminder for myself too. With that said, something else that I have to do too is I frequently have to give myself permission to be happy so, whether I'm doing my affirmations in the morning or just like, kind of throughout my day, I have to like tell myself like, it's okay to truly be happy. Like you can be happy and giving myself permission to, because like I said, I, I'll think of all the things that I need to improve on, get better at, and where I wanna be, where I want my company to be, and all these things that I, it's like. It's okay. And you are allowed to be happy just where you're at right now. And I feel like we live in a world that. Doesn't harp on happiness to say it lightly. I feel like we live in a world that talks about a lot of the negatives and. People love other people's negatives. So it's like when you are happy, it's like you don't want to express it to other people because. Sometimes I feel like people have a hard time being happy for other people, so it's like almost misery. Misery loves company, so I don't know if anybody else feels like this when it comes to like truly letting yourself be happy and giving your per yourself a permission slip to do so. So give yourself permission to lighten up a little bit. Have a little fun. Don't take life so serious. We are living on a floating rock at the end of the day, and. Whatever higher power you believe in has us all figured out anyways and give it. Give it up to God, give it up to God to deal with it. So this brings me to the last thing that I'm doing to get out of this rut, which is just setting small goals and celebrating the small wins along the way. When you're feeling stuck, it can be really overwhelming to think of these really grand goals that you have for yourself. And making big, ch big, big changes in your life can seem. Extremely monumental. So breaking down what it is that you wanna achieve, and the person that you wanna become into much, much smaller steps that you can do on a daily basis will help motivate you to keep going and it'll be inspiring to yourself and you're creating trust in yourself too. By you showing up for yourself every single day and going out and doing the things that you told yourself that you were going to do, you are relying on yourself. And when you do achieve those, you are able to trust in the things that you tell yourself that you are gonna do. And when we let ourselves down and we said, we're gonna achieve these goals, and it's usually because we make'em too big and unattainable that we don't. Reach them right away. We are telling our brains that like, well, we let ourselves down again, like we're probably just gonna do it again anyways. So whatever your goals are, try to break them down into very small actionable steps that you can achieve on a daily basis. And then try as hard as you can to stick to them, because we wanna affirm ourselves and tell ourselves that we got, we got ourselves here. We are able to put our trust in ourselves, and then those goals will build on top of each other. breaking these things down into smaller steps are gonna help you achieve these things on a daily basis. But try to be easy on yourself that these things are gonna take time. Getting out of a rut is gonna take time. So just giving yourself grace and giving yourself patience while you are getting out of this rut that you are in. And just taking everything one step at a time. That's what I'm trying to do right now, is just take everything one step at a time. Everything that brings me joy, like really trying to embrace it in the moment. So it's just taking it that one chunk out of a time and the things that don't feel great right now and that. I'm trying to change right now, even though it's uncomfortable to change those things. That's also just a little small chunk of time. It's a blimp of time. I'm gonna look back, probably not even remember it or even look back and just, it's gonna feel so much more minor. So just try to go easy on yourself. Be patient with yourself when you are in a rut. And with a small, with small goals and small wins. Something that I'm trying to do right now too is planning my weeks out so I can get very overwhelmed. Like I said, I'm a very intense person and I have a lot that I wanna do, and in my weeks basis I wanna fit a lot in and it kind of consumes my brain a lot. So what I've been trying to do is write it all down. If you guys follow me on TikTok, then you saw that I created this planner that's I. Created it on Canva and I printed it out. Got it. At Staples, laminated it, and I'm able to, it has a section, so it goes Monday through Sunday, and then across the top it has breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Beauty to-dos, cleaning to-dos, and then what my workout is gonna be of that day. So I think it's funny that like us girls, we need a section for beauty to-dos cuz there's, it's a lot to keep up with. You got your hair wash days and you got your tan days, but your hair wash days need to become your. Come before your tanning days because you need to fully exfoliate and shave, and then you wanna do your nails, but you don't wanna get the tan on your nails and then you need to do your eyelashes, but you need to fully shower before the eyelashes. Like, I'm rambling, but girls, you know, that is so, so true. There is a lot to fit in. So I made a section for that too. And so each week before the week starts, I am planning out what I'm eating, what my workouts look like. That way I kind of just already know. Like I, today, I went into my fridge and I knew I was having a salad with berries on it and chicken, and it was so much more simple than just staring into my fridge for a minute going, Hmm, what do I wanna have? And having this whole thing with myself takes up too much time. I don't wanna think about those things. I want them to be done in advance in the beginning of the week. And then along with my workouts, I'm able to kind of stick to what I say I'm gonna do. So if I had a spin class plan that day to go to, I know that I don't wanna let myself down with that. Like I wrote it down, I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna feel better after I show up too. If not, if I don't like write it down, plan it out, I'll find a million excuses or find something else to do instead. And. My week is just gonna be in shambles, so I'm really trying to be better with planning and scheduling and just getting it out of my head so I don't have to think about it, and then I can focus on the things that are making me happy. So we had some submissions into the q and a portion of the Get Out Of Your Own Way podcast. I mentioned this in a couple of episodes. It's on the website, so guys, definitely check that out. Write in something that, You struggle with, would love some advice on, would love some tips on whatever it may be. Please write in, I'm sure everybody else would love to hear what you have to say and maybe something they're struggling with too, but are afraid to open up about it. So somebody did write in and said, alignment, authenticity, and self-love. So I feel like today's topic was actually perfect for this. I came up with today's episode just basically off like what I said, how I was feeling and stuff, and then I checked the submissions and I saw that and I was like, oh, like that is so perfect. Authenticity, alignment, and self-love. So becoming your full, authentic self authenticity, I feel as if is like my word of the year. It's something that I've been striving towards and like just being my full, authentic self and like knowing who I am. So that's kind of like the alignment portion that this person's talking about. And I feel you on that. And my challenge for you, and something that I practice too, is try practicing the affirmation of I am Okay with or without the opinions of the other people. Good or bad. For example, I'm gonna try to break this down into something easy to grasp. If someone looked at you and said, you have purple hair, you would say, no, I don't like buzz off because we know we don't have purple hair. If someone said, you're fat, You would probably stop for a second and be like, yeah, like I know, because we believe it about ourselves already. You need to know who you are and know your worth so that the opinions of others, good or bad will not sway you. So whether. This means when you're getting a compliment that that's a high somebody is giving you because they're affirming the things that you doubt. So when someone tells you you're beautiful, it feels amazing, and it's great because it's like the things that I doubt somebody else is telling me. But then you'll be swayed in the same direction when someone tells you something bad about yourself. So when someone tells you the things that you may believe in yourself, they are confirming your doubts in yourself. So you need to get to the point that you know exactly who you are and like what you bring to the table. And you know your worth in a higher power. You know you're worth in God and that no one's gonna be able to sway you good or bad away from that. So the ways that I like to practice these kinds of things are, again, affirmations. And I know that's like so overplayed and everybody talks about this kind of stuff, but. Really speak these things over your life until you truly, truly believe these things. And it's gonna be a constant effort. Keep working at it, and it's gonna be cheesy at first, but just try to try to keep working at these kinds of things. And then something else that I like to do is practice meditations, inner self meditations to get to know yourself. Hire self meditations to get to know your higher self. Praying about it, praying to God, seek your worth in God and nothing else around you. And. And truly believe these good qualities about who you are at the end of the day. So with all of that said, thank you for whoever wrote in and if you guys have any topics you wanna touch upon, I really encourage you guys to write into the podcast so you can do that on the website. I will link that down in the bio below, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. If you could please rate and subscribe to this podcast and share it on social media so it can reach some other people. Share it with a friend that you may know that would find it helpful. I'd love to connect with you guys on social media. You can follow me at Sam DeSalvo, and I look forward to talking to you guys next time. Have a great, great week, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.