Get Out Of Your Own Way with Sam DeSalvo

Give Yourself the Love You Deserve this Valentine's Day πŸ’Œ

February 12, 2024 Samantha DeSalvo Season 2 Episode 7
Get Out Of Your Own Way with Sam DeSalvo
Give Yourself the Love You Deserve this Valentine's Day πŸ’Œ
Show Notes Transcript

Happy GALentines babes! πŸŒΉπŸ’ŒπŸΉπŸ’‹ This is your sign to give yourself the love you have always given away to others. In this podcast, I am talking about how to get through this valentine's day if youre struggling. Whether your single, dating, or married there is something in here for you! Solo Date Itinerary, Self-Love Idea, How to make the most of v-day this year. β™₯️🧸



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Yeah. Hello, hellO, welcome back to the podcast. That welcome back is to myself because I have been MIA from this podcast. Where have I been? Let's get right into it. So, the last episode I made was in December for a birthday episode, and then I took about a two month hiatus. Where have I been? So in that time, I have been accepted to grad school and also started grad school. So I am back in my master's program. I'm going for clinical mental health counseling in hopes to be a therapist one day. So as you guys know, I love talking all things wellness, mental health, mindset, productivity, and my mission. All this time has been to help other people get out of their own way, hence the name of this podcast. And so the last past year, I had been really doing a lot of self discovery, figuring out what I wanted for myself, where I envisioned myself going in the future, like, kind of what I wanted my career path to look like. And I had been preying on that for a very long time. I would say consistent two years, just asking God Hey, what do you have for me? What's my purpose in this life? Like, where am I supposed to be? Redirect me, give me clarity, like all those types of things. So again, I had been praying for that and just really seeking like what it is I am supposed to do. And I knew I wanted to work in the wellness space. I knew I wanted to help other people and like wellness coaching. I love it. But I'm thinking long term, like what makes sense for me long term, what's a sustainable career long term, things like that. And I put the pieces together and realized like mental health counseling, like makes so much sense for my life, what I have vision for my life, what I have visioned for the business that I created. And how can I further educate myself to help you guys better? So, yes, in the past two months, I started grad school and I've honestly just been trying to get my feet on the ground. I feel like starting a new program like this, it's a very intense program. I'm in person four days a week. And Still trying to balance like a work like work life going to school and Doing this podcast along with like having a regular social life Yeah, I so I've just been trying to get my feet back on the ground and get my footings so that I could come back To this podcast like I never intended on going completely MIA on this podcast like forever. I just knew like my, for my own mental wellbeing, like I could not do it. And I didn't mean to like go MIA without like saying anything. It kind of just happened. I should have been more aware of starting school. It would have been hectic, but I guess I didn't know the extent that it was going to be. So I honestly just have taken these past two months, got my footing and now I'm ready to come back and give you guys valuable educational. Podcast episodes, because now I'm able to have like live trainings that I'm getting every single week about the topics that I've already enjoyed talking to you guys about. So now I get to bring, like I said, more education into it, along with still incorporating the lifestyle piece of it. Like, this will always be somewhat of a lifestyle podcast, but I want it to be. Valuable to you guys. Like, I didn't want to just be one of those people that was spitting out like mindset tips and mental health tips without being a professional in the industry, because I just don't think that's ethical and I don't think that's the right thing to do. And we see so much of that. So I want to be a podcast that allows you to combine lifestyle with valuable educational content so that you can live a better, healthier, happier life. So that's where I've kind of been these past two months, starting grad school. And along with that, I officially launched the wellness hub. So this has already been in the works as we've talked about on the past podcasts, like what was. Happening with the wellness hub, but now it's officially launched. The website is up. The Instagram is up and what you can expect out of the wellness hub is community education and tips along with professional support. So, within the community, the wellness hub essentially is a woman's community for like minded woman to get together and empower. And lift each other up along all these topics of wellness and faith. So I feel like a lot of times when you end up in this category, if you're listening to this podcast, you enjoy all the different facets of it from mental health to physical health, to mindset, motivation, productivity, nutrition. And then. Along with that, we're a little bit different because we incorporate Jesus and faith into it. And that's like the mind, body, spirit part, like mind, body, faith part. So I feel like when you end up in this category, you kind of realize like, I want other people that like the same things as me. And so that is exactly what the wellness hub was created off of both to be a community of women that are like minded and want to encourage one another and lift each other up. So, You can join the community by our app, so there's links in the bio to join the app, and within that you'll expect a bunch of other women lifting you up and sharing what they're up to in their journey along with meetups, challenges we're going to have online Bible studies, but we're also in the future going to have in person meetups as well. So think workshops, meetups. Hikes coffee shop dates like a community of people getting together So regardless of where you are if you are in rhode island or in new england But if you are virtual we will have virtual events as well And then along with that the wellness hub we are here to educate and inspire you as well Well, so sharing health tips, mental health tips, physical tips, and having professionals come on and kind of talk about these things with us, along with sharing that kind of content and bite size amounts on our Instagram page. So, if you're not already following our Instagram page, I highly suggest doing so it's at the wellness hub dot Co. The wellness hub was already taken, so I had to add the dot co, which stands for community and then professional support. So, as you guys know, I've been a social media marketer for many, many years. Now, I had East Coast creative media as my little baby that I created with my partner and since starting grad school, we have decided it would be best to go our own ways. And that way we could both flourish in the ways that we. Are looking to, I had realized that I was doing my partner a disservice by kind of splitting myself too thin in that department. And I wanted to see her be able to still thrive with the business that we've created. So we've decided to go our own ways with East coast creative media, but there is absolutely no animosity between us. And I genuinely will always support her in the business. And I'm so, so grateful for every opportunity I had within that business. I think everything, every single step that I've taken has led me to where I am supposed to be. Like, there is not one part that I like, look back and I'm like, well, that didn't make sense. Or I regret that. Like, literally none of that. I have looked at it all as. That was a stepping stone to get me to where I'm supposed to be. So, as far as professional support goes in social media marketing, I will still be offering freelance marketing service to exclusive community members. So, this is. a tier underneath the wellness hub. It's called the social hub. So this is for all my business owners who are inside of the wellness hub and they have big God sized dreams and they just need a little bit of help marketing their business. So I am a business owner. I have been a business owner and I understand how much goes. Into it, and it can be very overwhelming when you get started at 1st. So, since I do have such a plethora of knowledge in the marketing and social media areas, I still want to offer to those services, but on a more exclusive level. So, if you're looking for any of my social media services, you can find that at the social hub. Underneath the Wellness Hub. So it all starts at the Wellness Hub and then my different services kind of fall underneath that, like this podcast. So that was a really quick introduction to where I have been. I just felt like I had to tell you guys where I've been. Just being MIA for these past two months, but today I want to talk to you guys about giving yourself the love you deserve this Valentine's day. So Valentine's day, first of all, is a made up holiday for commercial businesses to make more money and they do a great job at it and we just spend a ton of money on things at this time of year that To some, it makes sense, and to others, it doesn't make sense. So, today I want to share with you, if you might be struggling this Valentine's Day, whether you're single, dating, or married, I feel like there could be something in this episode for you to take and apply it to your life this Valentine's Day. So, I want to talk to you guys about how you can fill your own cup and pour back into yourself this Valentine's Day. this year. So I'm going to be giving you a solo date itinerary, like how you can spend the day alone and not be distracted by what everybody else is doing, some self love ideas, and just some encouragement that you can take with you this Valentine's Day and what you can kind of hold on to for some hope if you are feeling a little sad this year. But first, before we jump into that, I'm going to share the journal prompt of the week. So Going back to our last episode, I said that we're going to do this new segment of journal prompt of the week. So this is something for you to take with you and write down in your journal this week and kind of just ponder on it as the week goes on. And then you can either think about it while you're on a walk. You can think about it when you're driving, but just something to kind of keep in the forefront of your mind to discover yourself on a deeper level this week. So this week's journal prompt is how do I show love? And how do I feel the most love? So this kind of goes with like your love languages, but understanding yourself on this level How do I show love to others and how do I feel the most love by others? So take that with you this week for me. How do I show love? How I show love is I'm a big gift giver. I love giving thoughtful gifts. Like someone mentioned something months ago and I like show up with it and I'm like, like, that's like one of my favorite things to do. And then besides that, how I show love is quality time, like spending quality time with others. And then how I feel the most love is I love to talk. I love conversations. So I guess that falls into the words of affirmation category. And Quality time is the 2 ways that I feel the most love, but I would say words of affirmation go first. So I love to chit chat. I love to get to know people on a deeper level and know them. As I always say, like, past surface level. So I love deep conversations. I love to know, like, exactly how people are feeling. So, like, if you're feeling a certain way, I love to just, like, share it with them and, yeah, big talker. Good thing I have a podcast, right? And then quality time. I love just spending one on one time with people. And I don't know, just sharing those kinds of experiences with somebody. So that's the way that I feel and show the most love, but I challenge you. And encourage you to try to do this throughout your week is just to think about these things and maybe show some of that love to someone in the ways that you usually do or in the ways you usually don't. So, maybe switch up your love languages and always remember that you need to show the love to somebody on the ways that they. Feel loved. So if yours is gift giving, but theirs is physical touch, you need to meet them where they're at, which I know that can be so hard. That's one of the hardest things for me. Like I've had boyfriends who there's this physical touch and that's not really mine. So meeting them on their level and showing that extra appreciation, that extra token of appreciation does not come natural to me. But I think if you just think about it a little bit more, you're more able to apply that. Moving right into today's episode. Okay. So give yourself the love that you deserve this Valentine's Day. If you're anything like me, you have so much love in your heart and you're constantly pouring it out of people, but the person that you neglect to give it to is yourself. And so, you always feel like you're in a drought because you're always pouring it out to others and when do you ever get that back in return? And it can be super disheartening and you're like, when's it gonna be my turn? But this Valentine's Day, I am challenging you to pour that same exact love that you always have been giving to others. Back into yourself and it's time that we like take care of ourselves first and put ourselves as the main priority. So, there's this analogy that I always like to think about and keep in the forefront of my mind and it's about filling up your own cup first. So, we always, we all know that saying of fill your own cup. own cup up first, but I like to take it to a deeper level of there's these two cups and then there's a cup in the middle. So your two cups are your cup and your relationship cup, so the other person's cup. So you have your cup and then let's say boyfriend's cup and then there's a cup in the middle. The cup in the middle should be an overflow of both of your own cups pouring into this one. So it should just be an overflow of your own. And if your cup is not full, then you cannot pour into this middle cup. And this goes if you're in a relationship or not. It is about the love you pour out from others has to be an overflow from your heart. And the Bible even says in Matthew 12 34 for out of the Overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, we need to make sure our cup is full if we want to be able to pour out our love for anybody else. And I'm not even talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking about friendships, family, pets, co workers, all those types of people. It has to be an overflow from us because what will happen is we will just keep running ourselves dry. And then we keep getting back down to kind of like a rock bottom or like We just feel so empty because we've poured everything out of our own cup onto everybody else and there's nothing left for you or I. So what I'm challenging you to do this Valentine's Day is give yourself the love and pour into your own cup this Valentine's Day so that you can be a better person for everybody else around you. You can love people a little bit harder and a little bit more because your cup is overflowing. And the first thing that I'm going to say about Valentine's Day this year. And the first thing that I'm gonna say about Valentine's Day this year is to stay off of social media. Not that everything is fake on social media, but a lot of it is just a highlight reel. And you don't know the people who are struggling on Valentine's Day. They are not sharing that. Like, you listening to this right now, you're not sharing you're struggling on Valentine's Day. Why? Because no one wants to do that, right? So, if people did share that they were struggling, you would feel a lot less alone. But since no one is and everyone's sharing, you know, the Louis bags they're getting, the two dozen roses they're getting, the chocolates, the love notes, the flower entrances when they come home from work you feel a lot less alone. I mean, you feel more alone. And I just also want to say, I've never had a good Valentine's Day. I may have had one good one, but any time I had had a Valentine's Day, I, any time it was Valentine's Day, I was either going through a breakup um, or my significant other at the time just didn't put any thought into Valentine's Day, had a boyfriend once who like woke up the day of, ran out and like got it. Some flowers and like came home was a happy Valentine's day. Like, like, I guess that was okay. But I was like last minute thought. Okay. Got it. Got it. So I think at total, I've had one good Valentine's day with someone, but besides that Valentine's day has always made me very anxious. Never loved it. Just always, it's just like a kind of a reflection of you at the time, right? Like we, when this time comes, comes and rolls around, it's like, Oh, I'm single again, or, oh, my relationship's on the rocks again, or, oh, like, you just kind of like, when, when am I going to have like a good Valentine's Day? So back to the point is staying off social media so you're not comparing yourself to everyone else's Valentine's Day around you. You don't know what's real about it, you don't know the highlights about it, and you don't know the people that aren't sharing that they're not having a good Valentine's Day with you. And it's really. It's only one day. Stay try to stay off of social media for that day, or like, go on an app like Pinterest instead for the day. That's not as in your face about things, and you're not comparing yourself to like, other people's lives around you. It's only one day. And it's literally a made up holiday. It's okay. But I'm here to tell you too though, like it is normal to feel anxious around this time because like I said, it's like a time of reflection. Like when this time rolls around, it's like you check back in with yourself and it's like a time, it's like a time where You reflect to where you were last year or the year before that, and if you've been someone who's always been single on Valentine's or you've never spent it with someone, that can hurt. Like, you see so many other people who maybe found their forever valentine or they are sharing it in a really nice way with somebody. But I'm here to encourage you today that This isn't forever and you will have that one day. So try not to be envious of others because you're going to want to be celebrated in the same exact way that when you're getting those types of things when the time comes for you. So try not to be bitter around this time. It's a time where you can pour your love out into other ways. So, right, like, love does not always just come in a romantic form. It comes in so many different ways. And we can share our love with others in so many different ways. So, moving into the next. segment of today's podcast. I want to give you a solo date itinerary. So this can either be on the day of Valentine's Day, which this year it falls on a Wednesday. So I'm guessing most of us are working, hopefully, or you can apply the same date to the weekend. So when you have a day off this weekend, you can apply this date. Okay, so the first thing we're going to do on our solo date, and if going out on your own makes you anxious, I'll add that after. Okay, so the first thing we're doing on our solo date, this is a whole day affair, okay? We're going to sleep in. Okay, so the There's no alarms on. Who are we waking up for? We're gonna sleep in, stay in bed, do our journaling, maybe read a chapter in our Bible in the morning, and then we're gonna book a workout class. So the night before, we're gonna book a workout class that we want to attend. Maybe try something new. Maybe don't. We're going to book a workout class. We're going to get up. We're going to go to the workout class. We're going to enjoy that. We're going to take our time, listen to music on the way there, maybe make ourselves a coffee before we go. And then we're going to come back home from our worker class. We're going to take a whole shower, take your time, exfoliate, do the whole nines, and we're going to get ready. Take your time getting ready. Do your hair, give yourself a blowout, do your makeup really well, do your skincare. Pick out a really cute outfit that you feel confident in. Yes, an absolute must. Get everything you need and we're going to head out and we're going to find a cute town to visit. So I want you to look up like cute local towns in my area and maybe somewhere that has a A main street that you can walk down and like little shops, coffee shops, lunch places. Maybe it's by the water. Maybe it's in a historical town. And when we get there, we're going to get a coffee. We can sit there, read a book for a little while while we enjoy our coffee, or we can take the coffee and we can just kind of walk the main street, go into the little stores, peruse, look around. And then once we are all set with the main street, maybe you get yourself lunch before you head home. But once we head home, we're going to pick up supplies and make ourselves a nice dinner. And then when we get home, you're going to put your stuff down and we're going to start to make dinner. You can change up into your sweatpants if you want at this point. I probably would. But you're going to put on your favorite YouTuber while you are making dinner. So grab your iPad, grab your laptop, put it on your Alexa, and You are going to watch your favorite YouTuber while you're making dinner. And then after you are done making dinner, you are gonna get comfy and watch a movie or binge your favorite show while you're eating your dinner, right? We're not sitting at our kitchen table alone this Valentine's Day. I do that a lot, honestly. I sit at my kitchen table and just eat dinner by myself, think about my day. But for this day itself, we're not gonna sit at the table. We're gonna sit and watch a movie or fav or our favorite show while we're eating our dinner. Once we clean up dinner, we're going to take a shower, do our skincare, and get into our favorite pair of pajamas. Make up a cute pair of pajamas, guys. I've been on a pajama kick that I love cute sets of pajamas. I've always been, and still kind of am, the baggy t shirt and some just like old raggedy sweatpants. But I've been getting into and buying more sets. So if you have your favorite set, put it on. You know, stay looking nice, keep your confidence up. And then once our skincare is done, we're going to get back into bed, grab our blankets, scroll on Pinterest for a while, pin things to your 2024 board, your dream board, maybe even your wedding board. So maybe you scroll on Pinterest, pin some things to your different boards, get some home inspo ideas. Things like that. Pinterest is a safe space, okay? There's no one to compare our lives to. There's no one from fifth grade that we're comparing our lives to on there. It's my favorite, my favorite social media platform. All right, and then after we're done on Pinterest, we are going to read a book. And go to sleep early. You can replace reading a book with like, maybe watching another show if you want, but I just think this is a great way to wind down and then go to sleep early. There's no reason that we need to like, stay up super late. It's just us. So that is your solo date itinerary. Try to stay off your phone for the day if you want. Just like, take pictures of your camera roll, in your camera roll, and then we can upload them on social media like, later. Like a recap. You don't need to do it as you go. But yeah, doesn't that sound so fun? If you guys are looking for more solo date ideas, I'd be happy to share them with you. But don't be afraid to like, spend time by yourself, like you need to be your own best friend and like, know yourself super well and in public, nobody is thinking about you. Like when you get anxious about being alone, like have you ever thought about somebody else being alone? Like out about being alone? Probably not. So try not to be like hard on yourself in that department. Literally, nobody cares. Now moving on to the next segment is self love ideas. So what are some ways that you can make yourself feel better this Valentine's Day if you are just struggling and how can you pour back into yourself and into others this Valentine's Day? So the first one is buy yourself flowers. This is just always a great idea, regardless if it's Valentine's Day or not. Go to Trader Joe's, buy some cute flowers, make little bouquets, and then if you have some extras, maybe we can give them away to somebody that we love. Write yourself a love note. So journaling, just things that Make you you and why are you so special and like not a cocky way But like what makes you different and what are your quirky qualities that you love about yourself? So write yourself a cute little love letter something that you would love to hear about yourself pamper yourself So get your nails do a self tan Get your eyebrows done. Do your eyelashes. So, find a way to do, find a way to pamper yourself this Valentine's Day. Maybe you do the everything shower, which is when you exfoliate, you shave, and you wash your hair really good. You do a double rinse and then you do all the skincare and all the beauty routines afterwards and really just give yourself that, give yourself that extra love that you deserve this Valentine's Day. The next thing is spend time with your girlfriends at plant or plan a night out So plan a Galentine's Day or just have a single friend come over and maybe you guys do like a craft together or you do Like a paint and vino night or if you have a good group of girlfriends, maybe you go out for the night but plan a Galentine's Day night, and don't exclude your relationship friends like Like, you can plan, like, a single girl's night out, that's always fun, but if you have friends that are in a relationship, include them, too. I'm sure they'd be happy to come. The next thing is to brighten someone else's day. So do something nice for others. One year, I did do this and it really, really helped me that year. I was struggling this year and I made a couple different people in my life, like a little Valentine's Day gift. I made like homemade chocolates and chocolate covered strawberries and I made like cute little like gift bags with some things from like the dollar store in it, but just like spending this time to really cultivate something nice for somebody else really helped my mental health that year and it really made me feel like I was doing something nice for someone else, which at the end of the day, it made me feel really happy inside. And the last one is visit someone else who doesn't have a valentine. So this is a really sweet idea. If you have somebody like an elderly person in your life that you could visit on Valentine's Day and you know this person probably doesn't have somebody that is going to visit them, it's a great time to set that time aside to visit with somebody or honestly even just visiting like this might be out of your comfort zone but visiting somebody that you know Probably hasn't had somebody visit them in a while. So maybe they're not related to you, but visiting like an elderly person or doing something nice for the less fortunate and giving back to the community in that sense of a way, or maybe you visit with a single, one of your other single friends that, you know, might be also struggling on Valentine's Day, visit somebody else who doesn't have a Valentine is the last one. But, to wrap up this episode, the point of all of this today Don't waste this season of your life that you're in. Every single season of your life has a purpose in it, and there is beauty within every single season of your life. So if you are in a waiting season right now, know that this isn't going to be here forever. So we want to wait well. We don't want to just be bitter in this time, waiting for our Prince Charming to come along. Because once Prince Charming shows up, And he's like, so what have you been up to, like, this whole time? Like, tell me about yourself. You're like, oh, I've just been sitting around bitter waiting for you to show up. I'm glad you're here now. Like, no, wait. Well, like, this is your time to absolutely pour into yourself. Give yourself the love that you do deserve and that honestly nobody else could give you because you know yourself that well. And always remember like you are not alone. First of all, join the wellness hub for a community of women who want to empower you and lift you up and be there with you and hold your hand in these struggling seasons. But also know that you are not alone because you have Jesus. And that might be cliche but You know, like, Jesus needs to be your first love. Like, fall, like, take this time and fall in love with Jesus. I made an Instagram post and I was like, like, Jesus wants to be and will always be your forever Valentine. So, if you are feeling alone, like, pour back into that and, like, fill up that cup and know, like, you never walk alone. You always walk with Jesus. So, on this Valentine's Day, like, spend time with him. Like, read the Bible. Worship, pray, like spend that extra time that you might be lamenting and just sad and spend it with Jesus and talk to him about it to be like, Hey, I'm sad, or Hey, why did this happen? Hey, why can't I like have a Valentine? Like this kind of sucks. Like you can be honest with God. I just want to remind you of that is like, there is nothing that is too big or too scary or too. Like rough for God. He knows all your thoughts and he knows how you're feeling. So share it with him. Be honest with him. You don't have to be perfect to be his child. Like, just like you are with your regular parents, like you're not perfect all the time with them. And it's the same exact way with God. And just remember, like, there will be a time that you Will be with somebody and you will have found your forever valentine and you won't get this time back. So spend it well and spend it by pouring into yourself and making yourself a better version. So when you find that person, you're your absolute best version of yourself for them. And don't be bitter, like, don't be envious of. Or try not to be envious of what you see around you, because like I said, you're in this waiting season, but you are going to move through it, and so you don't want to look back and just be like, wow, all I was was bitter and envious during this time in my life. I could have spent that way better knowing where I'm at now. Like, once you see the other side of it, you're going to be like, all that waiting time was so worth it. Like, knowing where I'm at now, regardless if that's with a person or not. Like. You don't want to look back at any season in your life and be like, I did not wait. Well, all I did was sit around and be bitter. And I was envious and I was just waiting for somebody to come save me. You have all the love you need for yourself. God has all the love. You need for you and he can pour that back into you. So I hope you found this as an encouragement this Valentine's Day. Come and join us at the Wellness Hub. Follow us on Instagram. And I promise you guys I won't be MIA again. I won't go on a two month hiatus, but I really hope you enjoyed today's episode. Happy Valentine's Day, my love. I will be your Valentine if you're looking for one. You can DM me. We can hang. Happy Valentine's Day, my loves, and I hope you have a great day. Bye! I really hope you guys enjoyed today's episode and real quick if you guys could do a huge favor and share this episode with somebody that you think would be blessed by it and you can catch me during the week on instagram at sam disalvo have a great week guys bye