Experience Motherhood

96. The Running List That Never Turns Off | A Week in My Life, Emotionally (Part 2)

• Liz Emmerich, MA, LPCC, RPT • Episode 96

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0:00 | 12:28

You know that feeling when your brain has approximately 100 tabs open — and at least 17 of them are frozen, 12 are playing music you can't find, and one is reminding you that the field trip form still isn't signed?

Yeah. That's motherhood lately.

In part two of the A Week in My Life, Emotionally mini series, I'm getting into the running list — the one that never actually turns off. The one that follows you from the bathroom sink to the dinner table to the moment you're about to fall asleep and your brain suddenly goes, hey, did you change the laundry?

If you've ever carried something nobody else can see, this episode is going to make you feel a lot less alone — and maybe even laugh a little.


In This Episode:

  • The "100 tabs open" feeling and why it resonates so deeply with moms
  • The laundry you remembered three times and still didn't do
  • Why forgetting the snacks isn't proof you're failing — it's proof you're carrying too much
  • The midnight spiral that goes from groceries to mom guilt in seconds
  • Being interrupted 47 times while trying to do one single thing
  • Why the running list is actually evidence of how much you love your people
  • A reframe that might make you a little more gentle with yourself


📲 What's your most ridiculous running list moment this week? DM me on Instagram 📧 On my email list? Hit reply — I genuinely want to hear it 


 Busy Mom Guide: https://experiencemotherhood.myflodesk.com/busy-mom-guide


I'd love to hear your thoughts! Send me a message :)


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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only. In no way is this therapy or clinical advice.

SPEAKER_00

So I know that we can visually see so many things in front of us that we have to do sometimes. And I know that even in our mind, there are a hundred tabs open almost all the time, too. Motherhood is beautiful. But let's be real, it's also overwhelming. If you're a mom who loves her kids fiercely, but also has ambitions beyond the carpool line, you might be feeling something else too. Torn. You're keeping everything running, managing the schedules, the meals, the mental load, but you're also craving something more. Maybe it's your career, your creativity, or just remembering who you were before everyone needed something from you. And the guilt of wanting both, it's exhausting. From the outside, you look like you have it all together, but inside you're stretched thin, wondering if you have to choose between being a great mom and becoming the woman you're meant to be. Here's the truth: you don't have to choose between both. I'm Liz Emmerich, licensed therapist, mom of three, and someone who deeply understands the both and tension of motherhood. This is Experience Motherhood, the place where we dismantle the myth that you have to do it all or lose yourself. Through honest conversations with experts and moms in the trenches, you'll get mental health insights, grounded encouragement, and permission to build a life that honors every part of you. Let's live motherhood fully, honestly, and together. It's time to experience motherhood. Hello and welcome back to Experience Motherhood. I am so excited because we're going to continue on with this little mini-series we're doing. And today I want to talk specifically about just that running list that's in my head that never turns off. So I know this is going to be so relatable to you. Um, so that's what we're gonna talk about today. So we're just gonna kind of dive in. Um, before we get started today, I just want to paint the picture of the mom brain feeling like there's a hundred tabs open at once. And this is so relatable because as I'm recording this episode, I'm looking obviously on my computer, and there are quite a lot of tabs open. And these things range from work-related tabs, different emails that I have to keep track of. There's information on a summer camp opportunity for one of my kids. Um, and then there's even just my emails that are sitting there for me to go through and the to-do list that continues to get longer and longer and longer. So I know that we can visually see so many things in front of us that we have to do sometimes. And I know that even in our mind, there are a hundred tabs open almost all the time, too. Things that we need to remember for the kids, things we need to remember for work, for household management, um, taxes. I mean, you name it. There's just a lot of tabs open all the time. So if you have ever felt like your brain has approximately 100 tabs open one at a time, and then somehow at least 17 of them are frozen and 12 are playing music you can't find, and one is reminding you that you still haven't signed that field trip form, that is how motherhood has been lately for me. And at any given moment, I'm thinking about whether someone has, you know, basketball tonight, whether we have enough milk or eggs, and if I responded to that text, or even whether the library books are due, or if I pack snacks, why there's a random wet towel on the floor again, and somehow also wondering if I'm emotionally damaging my child because I said hurry up in the car for the hundredth time this morning. Ooh, okay, and the wild part is most of us are carrying all of this silently. So I want to talk today about a couple different moments, four moments for me that really are just this like running list moments. And I hope they're relatable. I'm sure you've experienced some of them or something similar. So we're gonna talk about four different moments that I don't know, were funny to me looking back, but were kind of this example of this just running list moments. Let me tell you a quick story. The other day I found myself standing in the kitchen after putting the kids to bed, and I was surrounded by half-folded laundry, my to-do list still staring at me, and dishes piled up in the sink. And I realized in that moment I hadn't sat down all day, not even once. I'd been rushing from one thing to the next, school drop-offs, answering emails, making dinner, breaking up those sibling arguments, and somehow trying to keep the house in order. And yet it felt like I wasn't keeping up at all. I was exhausted, anxious, and just plain overwhelmed. Sound familiar, but I know so many of us feel like we have to do it all. We say yes to everything and try to keep everything running smoothly for everyone else. But where does that leave us? Tired, stressed, and maybe a little resentful that there's no time left for you. If you're feeling this too, you're not alone. That's why I created my free, busy mom guide because I realize we don't have to keep running on empty. This guide is filled with practical tips to help you find balance and reclaim some peace. You'll learn how to prioritize what really matters, say no without guilt, and find time for yourself in the middle of the chaos. If you're ready to stop feeling overwhelmed and start finding more calm in your days, head over to the show notes and grab your free busy mom guide today. It's time to take care of you too. You deserve it. So the first moment that I want to talk about was last week. I remembered to change the laundry three separate times. First, I was remembering while I was brushing my teeth in the morning. Then I didn't remember until later when I was making dinner. And then third, I didn't remember to change it again until I was right about to get into bed. And suddenly my brain would be like, Ma, change the laundry. And did I actually change the laundry? No, I didn't because I was about to get in bed. So certainly didn't do that. But naturally the next morning, I'm like, you know, getting the kids up for school. And my youngest is like, I have no pants. I'm like, oh my gosh, the laundry, the laundry. Anyway, somehow these tiny moments can feel really big because they're not just one thing. They're one more thing added to the already very long list that I have. Another moment that maybe you've experienced is that forgotten snack moment. You know, the moments when your child tells you they're starving approximately 90 seconds after you leave the house. And then suddenly you realize you forgot the snacks. And not only did you forget the snacks, but now your brain is spiraling into I just should have packed the snacks. Why didn't I think about that? I literally know they get hungry. This happens every time. What kind of mom forgets the snacks? And then, of course, meanwhile, your child is like finding old crackers in their car seat and somehow they're eating them and they're just fine. So I think so many of us turn everything forgotten into this proof that like we're failing when really it's proof that we're caring too much. There's too much on our mental tab. You know, thirdly, I think sometimes the writing list in our head gets really absurd. At least it does through me. Like I'll be lying in bed thinking, did I send that email? Does my child need new tennis shoes? Are we out of shampoo? Did I add that to my target list? Should I be making more one-on-one time with each kid? Um, did I ruin their confidence because I forgot pajama day in first grade? Why are our brains like this? We can somehow jump from buy bananas to am I doing enough as a mother in under four seconds. This happens to me all the time, and I'm guessing it does to you too. And then there's being interrupted like every time you're doing something. I swear, motherhood is like trying to do one task at the same time while being interrupted like 47 times. It's like you walk into the kitchen to make lunches or dinner, and one child needs help finding a water bottle, then another needs you to admire a drawing, then someone asks for a snack. Of course, the dog is barking, and you finally return to making that meal and you realize you're standing in the kitchen holding the bread for five minutes and you actually don't even remember why. And then, of course, later then in the day, you remember that, oh yeah, I need to, you know, make those lunches or make that meal while you're folding laundry because your brain just never really clocks out. So I wanted to bring up all of these because they're kind of comical to me at this point. Um, and it's as it's very exhausting. But there's also something really strangely, I think, kind of tender about this running list, because every item on it exists because we love someone, right? Like changing the laundry, the snacks, remembering the dentist appointment, the library books, the shoes that don't suddenly fit, the birthday gift you need to remember, the random fear that your child needs more of you. And all of it is really coming from caring. And while I don't think we were meant to carry all of it alone, certainly not, I do think there is something kind of beautiful in the absurdity of motherhood. We are caring so much, and we are remembering so much. And we are loving so much. So even when it feels messy, even when we forget the snacks, even when that permission slip isn't signed and it's crumpled in the bottom of the backpack, or you forget to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer, I just want to give you that encouragement. So if your mind is feeling this full lately, also, if you feel like there are a hundred tabs open and no one else can see them, I just want you to know that you're not failing. You're carrying an invisible load that is very real. So maybe this week, instead of judging yourself for everything you forgot, you could pause and notice everything you've been carrying. Because I have a feeling it's a lot more than anyone realizes. So before you go, I want to hear from you. What is one funny or ridiculous, you know, running list moment from your week? Was it the thing you remembered at midnight? The snack you forgot, the completely irrational spiral your brain went on while unloading the dishwasher? Send me a message, reply on Instagram, or share it with me this week through email. I have a feeling we're all carrying around some pretty wild mental tabs. And if this episode made you feel a little more seen, send it to another mom too, who probably has a hundred tabs open, also. All right, until next time, go experience motherhood. Thank you so much for joining me today, and I hope this episode really brought so much value to your experience in motherhood. Please take a minute to rate and review this podcast and make sure that you're subscribed so you don't miss the next new episode. Until next time, go experience motherhood. The Experienced Motherhood Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing shared on this podcast should be considered clinical advice or a substitute for individualized mental health care. Although I am a licensed professional clinical counselor, this podcast does not establish a therapeutic relationship. If you're needing support, please reach out to a qualified mental health provider near you. If you're in crisis, contact your local emergency services or the 988 Suicide in Crisis Lifeline.

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Elisabeth Emmerich, MA, LPCC, RPT

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