99. Things That Are Actually Making My Life Easier as a Mom Right Now

Motherhood doesn't always need more ideas — sometimes it needs a little permission to do less. In today's episode, I'm sharing the things that are genuinely making my life feel lighter right now. Not a perfect system, not an aesthetic routine, just a handful of real shifts that are helping me show up more like the mom I actually want to be.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why trying to "get ahead" of your life is quietly draining you — and what to do instead
• The permission slip to lower the bar in the areas that don't actually matter
• Why doing too much for your kids might be working against both of you
• The small connection ritual that's been making a real difference with my boys
• What I do when the day starts to spiral — and how to interrupt it before it takes over
• The tiny boundary that's giving me more breathing room than I expected
• How I simplified dinner for three boys and what that actually freed up

If you've been feeling like you're running on empty and waiting for things to slow down — this episode is for you. It doesn't have to be complicated to make a difference.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only. In no way is this therapy or clinical advice.

Transcript

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I need things that make my life feel a little easier. And not in the, you know, get your life together kind of way, but in how do I actually enjoy my life while I'm in it kind of way. So here's what I notice. When I'm in a season where things feel hard, my first instinct is to add something. Add a strategy, add a structure, add a plan. And what I'm learning is that slowly, and sometimes the hard way, is that what actually helps is usually the opposite of more. It's less. Motherhood is beautiful. But let's be real, it's also overwhelming. If you're a mom who loves her kids fiercely, but also has ambitions beyond the carpool line, you might be feeling something else too. Torn. You're keeping everything running, managing the schedules, the meals, the mental load, but you're also craving something more. Maybe it's your career, your creativity, or just remembering who you were before everyone needed something from you. And the guilt of wanting both, it's exhausting. From the outside, you look like you have it all together, but inside you're stretched thin, wondering if you have to choose between being a great mom and becoming the woman you're meant to be. Here's the truth: you don't have to choose between both. I'm Liz Emmerich, licensed therapist, mom of three, and someone who deeply understands the both and tension of motherhood. This is Experience Motherhood, the place where we dismantle the myth that you have to do it all or lose yourself. Through honest conversations with experts and moms in the trenches, you'll get mental health insights, grounded encouragement, and permission to build a life that honors every part of you. Let's live motherhood fully, honestly, and together. It's time to experience motherhood. So I've been thinking a lot lately about how I don't actually need more ideas as a mom. I don't need another productivity system, another morning routine, another, you know, five habits of highly effective parents. I need things that make my life feel a little easier. And not in the, you know, get your life together kind of way, but in how do I actually enjoy my life while I'm in it kind of way. So here's what I notice. When I'm in a season where things feel hard, my first instinct is to add something, add a strategy, add a structure, add a plan. And what I'm learning is that slowly, and sometimes the hard way, is that what actually helps is usually the opposite of more. It's less. It's permission. It's letting go of something I didn't even realize I was still holding on to. So that's what this episode is going to be. It's nothing groundbreaking, nothing that requires a trip to Target or a new app on your phone, but just a handful of things that are genuinely making my life feel a little lighter right now. And it's helping me show up more like the mom I actually want to be. Some of these are going to be mindset things, some are practical, and some are so small they almost feel embarrassing to say out loud. But they're real. And that's what this show has always been about. I want to keep it real with you. We're going to talk about seven different things that are actually making my life easier right now as a mom. The first one I want to talk about is, um, and really the biggest shift is that I've stopped trying to get ahead of my life. And I know that sounds a little woo-woo, but just stay with me for a minute. So for a long time, I really operated in this constant low-level urgency. Maybe you can relate. Like there was always something I needed to get through before I could settle, you know, get through this week, get through this busy season, get these kids to the weekend, get to nap time, get to summer, get to the part where things slow down. And I kept thinking, once I get ahead, I'll relax. Once I get ahead, I'll be more patient. You know, once I get ahead, I'll actually be more present. But here's what I finally had to admit to myself that moment, it never comes. There is no ahead. Life just keeps moving. And if I'm always sprinting towards some imaginary finish line, I'm going to spend my kids' entire childhood waiting to enjoy it. So I've been practicing, and it really is a practice. Just being where I am, not where I'm going, not where I should be, but right here this week, this morning, this hard, ordinary, fast, fleeting moment. And weirdly, letting go of that urgency has made me more functional, not less. I'm less exhausted. I make fewer reactive decisions, and I'm a lot easier to be around, which honestly my family would probably confirm. So the second thing is something that I don't talk about enough because it doesn't make for a very inspiring Instagram caption or podcast episode. But I've been quietly lowering the bar in several areas of my life, and it really has been huge. Not in the things that really matter to me, of course, but not in how I show up for my kids emotionally or even how I'm investing in relationships that are important to me, but lowering the bar in all the things I was doing out of habit or expectation or some old version of what I thought a good mom looked like. Like meals, for example. I have simplified dinner to a degree that would probably make some people cringe. We have things on rotation. There's a lot of repetition. And you know what? My kids are fine. My family is fed. And I'm not standing in my kitchen at 5 p.m. feeling resentful and overwhelmed, which means I actually have something left to give at the end of the day. Or weekends. I used to feel this pressure to make weekends meaningful. Like if we didn't do something fun or intentional, we were wasting it. And now I'm I've mostly let that go. Sometimes a weekend is just rest, sometimes it's errands and a little more screen time, and sometimes nobody's showered. And that's actually fine. I think I had this belief for a long time that really everything needed to be done well for me to be a good mom. And what I'm realizing is the bar I set for myself was never really about my kids. It was about my own anxiety. Letting it down has truly felt like exhaling. Related to that, there's something I've been opting out of. And I didn't really have language for it until recently. But I've been opting out of doing too much for my kids. Okay, here's what this looked like for me. Whenever one of my boys was frustrated or bored or couldn't figure something out, my usual instinct is to, you know, jump in immediately, fix it, redirect it, offer a solution, make it easier. And on the surface, that looks like attentive parenting. But when I really get honest with myself, a lot of it wasn't about them at all. It was about me not being able to sit with their discomfort. Their frustration was making me anxious. Their boredom made me feel like I was failing them. So I managed it. Not for them, but to manage my own feelings about it. And the thing is, when you're constantly smoothing everything over, your kids never get the chance to figure out that they can handle hard things. And you never get to see it either. Which means you both stay stuck in this loop where they need you to fix everything and you feel like you have to. So I've been sitting on my hands a little more, waiting a beat before I respond, letting a moment be uncomfortable instead of immediately rescuing it. And more often than not, they work it out. Not perfectly, not without some complaining, but they get there. And there's something in their face when they do that that I would have completely stolen from them if I had jumped in 30 seconds earlier. It's not about being hands-off or detached and not talking about that. It's about trusting them a little more and honestly trusting myself that I don't have to earn my place in this family by constantly being useful. Okay, the fourth thing. So sharing what I've been doing less a moment ago. Now I want to talk about what I've been doing more of. And it's really so simple. It almost feels too small to mention, but it's made a real difference in our days. I have been more intentional about having small connection moments, and I mean really small. Just a few minutes at a certain point in the day where I can put my phone down or out of the room, and I'm just with my kids. I'm not teaching anything, I'm not redirecting anything, I'm not even trying to be productive about anything. I'm just being present. There's no agenda, just asking what they're do right now, or sitting next to them while they do something they love, or just being in the same room without being halfway somewhere else in my head. And it's amazing how much it fills their cup. And honestly, mine too. Because I think sometimes I was physically present all day, but mentally somewhere else. And they can feel that. This is different. It's a small thing, but it's intentional, and I know the difference. And I and they know the difference. It doesn't fix everything for sure. There are still hard days and loud days and days where I feel like I'm getting it all wrong. But this one little anchor has made our rhythm feel more connected. And connection is usually what we were both missing when things started to feel hard. So I put together something for you that you can print out or keep on your phone or computer, just so that you have something to reference when you need some ideas of what are some small intentional ways that you can connect. So check out the show notes. That's where it'll be. And hopefully you'll find it just as useful as I do. If you're listening to this while folding laundry, driving to practice, or grabbing a minute to yourself, I want to invite you a little closer. My email list is where I show up in between episodes with practical, real life support for motherhood, things that actually help in the middle of the week, not just ideas that sound good in theory. It's encouragement, perspective, and simple tools to help you feel a little more grounded as you move through your week. No pressure, no perfection, just support. You can join me over at experiencemotherhood.com or click the link in the show notes. I'd truly love to have you there. Okay, back to our conversation. Okay, number five. I've also gotten a lot more intentional too about what I do when the day starts to go sideways, because it will. Something will happen before 9 a.m. that throws everything off. And I have a choice in that moment spiral with it or interrupt it. My reset is embarrassingly simple, but I do I stop, I take a real breath, not a rushed, anxious breath, but an actual slow one. And I ask myself one question What actually matters right now? Not today, not this week, but right now. And usually the answer is pretty small. It's be regulated, help this kid feel heard, get everyone fed and out the door. That's it. Not all the other things I was mentally managing while the morning fell apart. And this doesn't fix everything, of course, but it interrupts the spiral of overwhelm that I think so many of us get stuck in, where one thing goes wrong and suddenly we're catastrophizing the whole day, the whole week and our whole existence as a mother. Something also that's been surprisingly helpful is a small boundary I've been holding. It's honestly, again, almost embarrassingly small, but it's made a really big difference. And hopefully it will for you too. So I have stopped answering things immediately. Text, questions, decisions that feel urgent, but you know, actually aren't. I've given myself permission to have a few hours in the day where I'm just not available in that reactive way. And here's what I realized: I was giving away so much energy in these tiny moments. Someone would text and I'd drop what I was doing to respond, or a question would come in and I'd immediately try to solve it. And by the end of the day, I was depleted and I couldn't even trace where it all went. So protecting even a small moment of that attention has been like plugging a slow leak. It doesn't sound like much, I know, but the cumulative effect is real. And I have more of myself for the things that actually matter. Okay, one more thing I want to talk about. So the seventh thing that I want to address is then just practically, I've simplified a few things at home in the most boring ways possible. And I'm telling you this because I think sometimes we overlook the boring stuff in search of something more inspiring. So for us, it looks like this. We have, you know, about six dinners or so that we rotate through, and that's genuinely it. The same things on repeat every single week, you know, taco Tuesdays, we have pasta sometime in the week. And I stopped trying to introduce like brand new recipes on a really busy weeknight because I had three boys, and the feedback I was getting on anything new was that it wasn't really worth the effort for the most part. Nobody was feeling grateful, nobody was impressed. And I was standing in my kitchen at 5 p.m. having spent mental energy I didn't have on a meal that got picked apart anyway. So now I grocery shop almost so now I grocery shop off almost the exact list every week. I make the decision once. And the question, what's for dinner? Which honestly, I hate that question, but it has basically disappeared from my life because everyone already knows. And here's what I didn't expect to. The simplifying dinner didn't just save me the time in the kitchen. It did really save me that mental energy. And I didn't even realize I was spending that. Because I wasn't just making dinner. I was thinking about dinner at 2 p.m. or I was texting my husband about it, or scrolling for ideas and realizing I didn't have an ingredient and I had to pivot. And all of that is less. It's not all gone. And I am not perfect. So, of course, there's still times where I am, what are we gonna have for dinner? But a lot of that energy now goes somewhere else. It goes into actually being present when my boys get home from school instead of being kind of half checked out because I'm already three steps ahead trying to figure out the evening. Fewer choices, simpler meals, routines that run on autopilot. I know it's not that exciting, but it removes so much mental load. And mental load is the thing that I really feel like is just secretly exhausting me way more than anything else. So those are the things that have been making my life feel a little easier right now. None of them are revolutionary, I know, but some of them are probably, and some of them even probably sound obvious. But the obvious things become powerful when you actually do them. When you give yourself permission to actually choose the easier path instead of just admiring it from a distance. And if there's anything I hope you take from this episode, it's that it doesn't have to be complicated to make a difference. The smallest shift in how you're thinking or what you're allowing yourself to let go of can really change the whole texture of your day. You're not supposed to be running at full capacity all the time. And easier isn't lazy. Simpler is isn't simpler isn't settling. It might actually be the most intentional choice you make. Okay, I have to mention before we end today that next week is episode 100. And I've been sitting with this a lot this week. A hundred episodes. That's a lot of conversations, a lot of me talking into a microphone, hoping something lands for someone out there. And I know so much of it has. I'm planning something a little different for that episode, a little more personal, a little more reflective, less about tips and more about what this journey has actually looked like and what I want the season to be. I'm really looking forward to it, and I hope you'll be there for it. So make sure that you hit follow on the podcast app that you're listening to so you don't miss it. Until then, thank you for being here. Thank you for every listen, every message, every time you've shared this show with another mom who needed it. It means more than you know, and I'll see you next week. It's time to go experience motherhood. If you want even more encouragement, behind the scenes moments, and a peek at my daily life as a mom and therapist, come follow me on Instagram at Experience Motherhood. I'd love to connect with you there. The Experienced Motherhood Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing shared on this podcast should be considered clinical advice or a substitute for individualized mental health care. Although I am a licensed professional clinical counselor, this podcast does not establish a therapeutic relationship. If you're needing support, please reach out to a qualified mental health provider near you. If you're in crisis, contact your local emergency services or the 988 Suicide in Crisis Lifeline.