Passion Project Pending
A podcast designed to empower you to recognize the opportunities available to you, through conversations with startup founders, self employed entrepreneurs, small business owners, content creators, freelancers and more.
Tune in to learn and hear a variety of anecdotes from creative entrepreneurs who create opportunities for themselves and take a thoughtful approach to business by providing a product unique to them and their experiences.
By @rosemadelene, a 27 year old data engineer & aspiring entrepreneur.
Passion Project Pending
Step By Step Guide for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
In this empowering episode, I delve into the transformative journey of overcoming limiting beliefs.
After some *ahem* research, I share practical strategies and insightful wisdom on identifying, challenging, and conquering the mental barriers that hold us back. From reframing negative thoughts to cultivating a growth mindset, discover actionable steps to unlock your full potential and achieve your goals.
Throughout the episode, I share examples of my own challenges over the course of my twenties so far. Tune in to gain the confidence and resilience needed to thrive in every aspect of your life.
Resources mentioned:
https://www.passionprojectpending.com/
https://www.instagram.com/passionprojectpending/
limiting beliefs
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[00:00:00]
Hello?
Welcome back to passion project pending. This is an episode for aspiring entrepreneurs and current entrepreneurs and bunch of other people as well. And, also just people in their twenties, people who are going through it. And just wondering about a lot of things. But today, we're going to focus on limiting beliefs, which is a concept that I came to learn about last year, really
yeah. So, I don't know. Maybe a good example, have you ever left a situation feeling like you wish you had done something differently or you don't know why you acted or reacted the way [00:01:00] that you did or maybe looked back on a pattern in life and kind of been like, huh, I don't love that for me and wondered what Why it is that you either acted that way or that pattern exists in your life So there's a good chance that there could be a limiting belief there.
And the reason why limiting beliefs matter is because if Unidentified and left unchecked they can have negative impact on your life Or prevent you from living your best life, thriving, realizing your potential, and other things like that. But we are going to get into the thick of that in this episode. I think it will be very helpful and I'm excited to to lead you through what I've learned on [00:02:00] limiting beliefs.
But first, just to reintroduce myself, so my name is Rosemary Wilson. You can call me Rose. I'm the host of this podcast, Passion Project Pending. I started it around a year ago, and the purpose of this podcast is really to
One second while I look that up here, okay. Okay, the purpose of this podcast is really to help you get to where you want to go. Now that can mean a lot of different things, but I'm really hoping to provide a resource to any aspiring entrepreneur, anyone in their 20s, anyone who's going through a career crisis, anyone who's looking around at their job and just kind of wants more, anyone who's interested in how businesses or companies use sustainability.
[00:03:00] Maybe an aspiring podcast hosts, maybe young women who don't love their situation and want something to change. Maybe people who also lost their passion for software engineering, those interested in starting a fashion brands, those who are just obsessed with financial stability to the point where they feel like it can suffocate them or, you know, any current entrepreneurs, startup founders, freelancers, So these are all people that I'm hoping to both, you know, spotlight their stories and, cater to with this podcast.
I really started it after a range of experiences. post grad college, trying to figure out what brought me joy. And, yep, I used to be a software data engineer, which I talk about in other episodes, which you're welcome to reference, but [00:04:00] ultimately wanted more, ultimately wanted entrepreneurship.
And around a year ago, I figured the best way to To learn about it and, pursue some self development would be to reach out to the ones I knew of, the entrepreneurs I knew of and really respected and admired, and broadcast these conversations, these interviews with them for others to hear. So that is the premise of the podcast, and this will be the first kind of solo episode that I'm hoping to make.
a weekly
tradition and kind of just provide value and talk about
certain topics that really go along with what I'm trying to achieve here. In this episode, I will walk you through What I've learned about limiting beliefs, their impact, how to identify them, how to challenge them, how to overcome them, and then some [00:05:00] practical tips for that and then do some Q& A, answer some comment questions, and yeah, hopefully you will learn something from this.
Hopefully you will take something away. And then at the end I will also tell you One of my main limiting beliefs as it relates to finances. and also, if you are listening, I recently was laid off and moved home to live with my parents and am working intently to monetize the podcast, grow it, understand the Impact it might be having learned from listeners. So please, if you have any feedback, feel free to interact with the podcast on.
Various forms of social media. I would recommend the Instagram You can also leave a detailed review on Apple podcasts or rate on Spotify or Apple. And then I also have a [00:06:00] feedback form on my website, passionprojectpenny. com. And I have a TikTok and a YouTube as well, and they should all be linked at the website, but let's get into it.
Here's the definition of limiting beliefs via Google. It's a state of mind or a belief about yourself that restricts you in some way. These beliefs are often false accusations you can make about yourself that can cause a number of negative results. Some examples are, I'm not good enough, I'm too old or too young, I don't have enough time, I'm not smart enough.
Things like that. so let's talk about the impact of limiting beliefs. One is self limitation. So this is self imposed and it can hold you back from pursuing goals and make you feel like you're not capable or worthy of success. Another is fear and anxiety.so [00:07:00] this could be the fear of failure or rejection or making mistakes.
And this can prevent you from stepping outside your comfort zone and exploring new opportunities. Another impact is low self confidence. I have definitely experienced this.Having a pattern of limiting beliefs can eventually erode your self confidence and self esteem. It can make you doubt your abilities and downplay achievements.
Also, struggle consistently with self doubt and it will ultimately impact your ability to thrive and succeed and realize your potential. Another impact is stagnation. Limiting beliefs could lead you to settle for less or believe truly that you're not capable of achieving more. Another is negative self talk.
So think of constant self criticism, focusing on your shortcomings, reinforced perceived [00:08:00] limitations. This could be like, you're just constantly picking out the things that you did wrong. I think a really good example of this one is perfectionism, just not being able to see what you did right and always thinking about how you could have done better. Another is impacts on your relationships. Limiting beliefs can influence your perception of others and also influence how you communicate and interact, and it can create barriers to forming meaningful connections and experiencing healthy relationships.
And this one really hits home for me personally. I have never really considered relationships to move fluidly for me and have had a lot of doubt around my role in relationships and ultimately my perception of how well [00:09:00] or not I am at creating long lasting relationships. is going to affect how I form them or how I treat future relationships or current.
And then lastly, another impact of limiting beliefs is missed opportunities. So if you have a limiting belief about yourself, you might pass up opportunities for growth, learning, and success if you believe you're limited in what you can achieve. Now this one is super painful to think about. So, now that we've gone over all the impacts of limited beliefs, and, you know, maybe taking a moment to think about why this is.
Hopefully avoidable. Let's talk about how we can identify those limiting beliefs before we then go on to challenge and overcome them in order to identify limiting beliefs, we can think about, [00:10:00] having some introspection, self awareness, willingness to challenge our own thoughts and beliefs. So, having an open mind and approaching your patterns with some curiosity is a really good approach here. So, first, pay attention to negative self talk.
So whenever you're thinking or ruminating on something, notice the thoughts that arise in your mind, especially when you're in like a heightened state, or you're faced with a challenge in life, or a setback, or maybe like an exciting new opportunity. This negative self talk often will reflect limiting beliefs, and can include phrases like, I can't, I'm not good enough, or I always fail.
Also, look for patterns in your past behavior [00:11:00] that might indicate any limiting beliefs. For example, if you consistently avoid taking risks or try new things, maybe think about why that is. It could be a sign of a belief in your inability to succeed. So, maybe you're always Subconsciously telling yourself that you don't perform well in new opportunities and you usually fail.
Also, explore childhood and past experiences. Reflect on your upbringing and influential figures in your life. Think about where these limiting beliefs probably come from. They probably come from early experiences and conditioning or messages received or passed on from others. So, okay. So, I'll give a great example on the note of finances, which is think of your [00:12:00] first money memory.
Was it positive or negative? One of my first money memories was the stress of our family around eating out, and it kind of introduced a sense that money was scarce or, money was a stressful thing. So that can affect how you see it when you grow up, unless you confront that belief or early conditioning around money or whatever it is.
Another way to identify question assumptions and generalizations. So, be open to looking inward and thinking about what assumptions you make about yourself, others, and the world. Ask yourself why you believe certain things to be true and whether those beliefs are serving you well or potentially holding you back.
, identify [00:13:00] triggering situations. So, pay attention to moments in life where you feel triggered and have a strong emotional reaction or feelings of fear, doubt, or insecurities, these can often show you, point you to limiting beliefs you might have. And then also journaling can be very powerful. just writing down and reflecting, I've often found I will write a sentence or a thought that I didn't really know I was thinking, but it just came out that way.
, this can often be helpful in a way. unique to just like thinking something out alone.but yeah, write about things like relationships, career, health, self worth, look for recurring themes or negative patterns, like things you often seem to, tell yourself or assume, about life [00:14:00] or other people also seek feedback.
So this one's tricky, obviously. I am definitely working on this as well. I think in the past, I would get very defensive when I was given feedback of any sort. Of course, it can be a sensitive thing, but sometimes others can provide insight into your beliefs that you may not be able to see objectively for yourself, and there's ways to get feedback in a safe way.
way by engaging in conversations with trusted friends or family or mentors, who know your communication style and can give feedback in a, in a good way. And then lastly, consider your core beliefs. So this could be anything, not just like beliefs in the [00:15:00] world, but also beliefs about Yourself, your abilities, your worthiness for certain things in life, your potential and deservingness.
I feel like I need to do this. So, example, I would think of when I was in college, I was studying computer science. And it just seemed like it was widely renowned as a very challenging major, but thankfully I had two older brothers who had studied computer science at the same university, and I knew that our academic abilities were pretty much equal because we had gone to the same high school and everything, so I was pretty certain that if they could make it through, then I could as well.
But regardless of that, I faced a lot of imposter syndrome while studying that thing, that topic, and there wasn't a lot of female [00:16:00] representation in classes as well. So I think even with that experience of knowing my brothers were able to, I would still question myself and my, abilities. And so I think that I wonder how I would have fared if not for them, and I think That kind of hinted at a limiting belief of I need to verify Exactly that someone else has someone else similar to me has done this before I believe that I can do it myself therefore In other words, I don't know that I'm able to do something that no one has done before So that's a limiting belief Right there Okay, so now that I've talked about identifying them, I want to talk about how to challenge limiting [00:17:00] beliefs.
This is like a really good exercise and I feel like I need to like go and, do this thoroughly. Anyway, okay, so challenging limiting beliefs. What are some effective strategies? First, identify the belief that you want to challenge and be specific about it and how it affects your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
So say I have a limiting belief that money is scarce and a stressful, Thing in my life. So then I want to think about how it affects my thoughts Emotions and behavior. So how does that affect my thoughts? that means that I don't know. How does it affect my thoughts? I think I would typically take a reactive approach to that limiting belief.
So I wanted desperately for money to not be stressful for me. So I [00:18:00] would actually reactively spend flippantly and not think about the costs of things because I wanted that to be untrue. In reality, I would then be stressed when I would look at my bank account because I wasn't spending consciously and I wasn't aware where all my money was going.
So that limiting belief was actually having an adverse effect. on my ability to feel empowered in my finances. so it would elicit stress in, in an interesting way and it would affect my spending behavior. Okay, that's kind of extensive.another way to challenge is to gather evidence. So, Collect evidence that contradicts the limiting belief.
Look for examples from your own experiences or from others who have successfully overcome similar beliefs. And this can help you see that the belief is not universally true or [00:19:00] absolute. In my scenario, I would want to look for an example where money is not super stressful, or money is not scarce, but rather abundant, just so that I could see ways in which people have a really healthy mindset on money.
And I can think of a great example, which is a couple money experts like Ramit Sethi or Tory Dunlap, the financial feminist. both have really excellent books and podcasts and other resources, but they talk about a conscious spending plan and, you know, spending without worrying about things you care about and then cutting costs mercilessly on things that don't bring you joy and, automating your investments and guaranteeing financial well being in your future.
So I think for me. gathering evidence that others feel [00:20:00] empowered through money would be extremely helpful for my particular limiting belief. , also examining assumptions. So question the assumptions that underlie that limiting belief and ask yourself why you believe this to be true and whether there are alternative perspectives or interpretations.
So again, in my scenario, Some underlying assumptions about my limiting belief might be that, again, money is scarce, or you have to work really hard for money, or it's just like a stressful thing.yeah, and then, Another way to challenge is consider the consequences. So reflect on the consequences of holding on to that limiting belief and how does it impact your life, relationships, goals, well being. Consider the cost of maintaining the belief versus letting go. I have an excellent example about mine regarding [00:21:00] finance.
In college, I This is a mixture of limiting beliefs, but it's definitely the result of limiting beliefs. My brother, my oldest brother got an excellent scholarship from the engineering school at the university of Michigan that basically gave him like a full ride for all of college.
And that was huge because we had to pay for college. I got like one or two scholarships here or there, but ultimately my brother was eligible for the scholarship because he performs. excellently, , grade wise, and had, , a really high GPA in engineering, which wasfor sure. So, I myself started doing pretty poorly.
I would pass classes, but my GPA was low. And so, I assumed that I was ineligible for that scholarship, but also most other scholarships. I kind of gave up on that approach to financing [00:22:00] my college education, when in reality, There were probably tons of scholarships I could have sought out and applied for, and maybe I wouldn't have had all college paid for, but I'm fairly certain I would have.
Been able to finance a bit more, which would have saved thousands in student debt that I then had to pay off with post tax, income from my software engineer job. So I think there were some limiting beliefs there at play. again, I think it was like that vibe of. If I can't replicate what someone else has done completely, then why even bother?
I know I won't be able to do it. So that's definitely a limiting belief.another way to challenge is challenge the negative self talk. So replace negative statements with positive affirmations or counter arguments that support a more empowering [00:23:00] belief. I have a really excellent example here, not the finance.
It's limiting belief, but, there was a time in my early twenties where I really doubted my ability to just like be a good friend or have successful friendships. Because of certain experiences and I would just have so much negative self talk about how I was too sensitive or I would get jealous of a friend or.
I just , wasn't independent enough to, I don't know, all these things, like I would just like insult myself repeatedly inside, and it was really harmful and it was a hard cycle to get out of, and I would start to question whether I was like worthy of healthy friendships or even capable of maintaining any, And
I [00:24:00] think,
last year I actually was turned on to these affirmation shower cards. And one of them, for example, was like, I deserve good things, or , I deserve to be around people who, , empower me or something like that. So that's just an example of, like, How I would counter that, if I could do that over because I think it was a lengthier process than, than just immediately following up with a positive affirmations. Another way to challenge the beliefs is to reframe the belief into a more positive and empowering statement. So, in my example, instead of I'm not able to maintain a healthy friendship, I would reframe it as
I am worthy of support. In my friendships or I attract healthy and reciprocal friendships or something like [00:25:00] that. Also seek alternative perspectives. So seek input from friends or family or anyone who can challenge your beliefs in a constructive and helpful way.you could also talk about this with a mentor or a coach or a therapist just to get other people kind of giving you insight and taking you out of, you know, that.
rumination inside your head. Take small steps, so gradually expose yourself to situations that challenge the limiting belief. Start small and gradually increase your comfort level as you gain confidence in your abilities. For me, with a friendship example, I would You know, I was like I got to a point where I was like really doubting my ability to be a good friend or just like maintain a healthy friendship and I would say that the way I took small steps here was once I started living alone last year I tried to branch out and make new friends and I [00:26:00] found that I Just felt better and more safe in one on one situations And so I would slowly build these friendships with new people and looking back now, I see that I was coming to learn what kind of friendships I really loved and what kind of things I was looking for in a friendship.
And I really liked getting to know the person, just being one on one, feeling like we were connecting, having deep conversation, as opposed to group settings. Sometimes I just felt like really misunderstood or I didn't understand, like I didn't like, like the inability to connect deeply with people.
and having these one on one friendships. Really started to restore my confidence in my ability to be a good friend. Okay. Also practice self compassion Recognize that change takes time and [00:27:00] effort and celebrate your progress along the way I think personally this is so hard to do, but it's so important.
I recently had this realization or maybe just like the suspicion that My inability to be compassionate towards myself actually affects my ability to be compassionate towards others. , I think I've heard people say sometimes , Oh, would you say that mean thing to your friend? Why don't you treat yourself like you would treat a friend?
and I think actually the opposite is true for me. So, if I'm like not, like obviously like, In polite society, I will never be outwardly rude to someone, and I would experience, extreme guilt if I did that, but, , on a deeper, more authentic level, if I'm not able to give myself grace or love, It's very unlikely that I'm able to give that to someone else.
I've found that I have to [00:28:00] give it to myself first. and it's so important when working through these limiting beliefs. It's like a gradual process. And, probably the progress will be best sustained if pursued Slowly and sustainably. Okay. Lastly, to challenge your limiting beliefs, repeat affirmations and visualizations.
I really love this example. So for me with a friendship, I kind of think about this like with a vision board, so I would imagine myself going up to people and just being warm and friendly and confident but like genuinely interested in what they're saying and visualize myself surrounded by warm and loving friendships and just like You deeply that, I was deserving of that.
and I've also heard the advice, if you [00:29:00] believe that you're not capable of, fluid social interaction or whatever, you should visualize yourself leading a conversation or introducing yourself to someone confidently before you go and do that. So it's like you've almost practiced seeing yourself in that situation and walked through what that would look like.
so yeah, just remember to be patient with yourself and also be proud of yourself for even going through the process of confronting your limiting beliefs. and doing something to overcome them. Which brings me to how to overcome.
First, identify and acknowledge the limiting beliefs you want to overcome. Be specific about the beliefs and how they impact your thoughts, emotion, and actions. Then, challenge them. Question the validity of your limiting beliefs. And look for evidence that contradicts them and consider alternative perspectives.
Replace them with empowering beliefs. So, replace them [00:30:00] with beliefs that support your growth and well being. And reframe negative statements into positive affirmations that reflect confidence, capability, and worthiness. So, journaling this out would be a really good way to do that. Remember to visualize success.
So like we talked about visualizing how you would act in life if you were to have overcome those limiting beliefs. And yeah, visualize yourself confidently handling situations that previously triggered your limiting beliefs. Also set realistic Goals with overcoming them. Break down the goals into manageable steps and set realistic expectations for yourself and focus on progress rather than perfection.
Celebrate your small victories along the way. Be proud of yourself, like I said, again, for even taking the steps to overcome those beliefs. And then, Don't forget to [00:31:00] practice self compassion and seek support because it is challenging what you're doing. It is inner work. And then challenge your comfort zones by taking calculated risks.
Push yourself to try new things, face fears, and embrace opportunities. This would be especially if You think your limiting beliefs keep you from doing things you want to that are just outside your comfort zone.and also cultivate positive habits that you think might combat those limiting beliefs and get you closer day by day to where you want to be.
And stay persistent and consistent. Lastly, we'll just talk about some tips for implementation. I think the idea to create habits around, how you want to overcome those beliefs. , say for example my belief, my limiting belief is that everything I do is slightly flawed [00:32:00] and I'm never doing enough, which is actually a belief I've had and still struggle with. Here's a small habit to do. Every night before bed, Write down three things that you did that day that you're proud of.
Okay. So just like small habits like that.and maybe make a habit of checking in weekly of like how you feel like you're doing on confronting those beliefs. and again, make a habit of maybe writing. 'cause writing is really. helpful and restorative and it allows you to reflect in a way that sometimes you just thinking in your head to yourself Doesn't it allows you to get those thoughts out and on paper
Yeah, maybe maybe the a tip for overcoming is I don't know talking about it in therapy or setting goals in therapy for Getting past those limiting beliefs And, [00:33:00] yeah lastly, the Q& A or common questions around limiting beliefs. I came up with a couple, so the role of self awareness in overcoming them, huge, definitely, because if you are not aware of your patterns or your behaviors or what triggers you or how you react in certain ways.
it will be difficult for you to see what limiting beliefs are at play. so definitely like being curious and noticing about your tendencies is a good start to understanding, you know, what sort of thought patterns you have that hold you back from, Maybe living a happier life or some other goal you might have.
and I would say that's Another is how can therapy or coaching help? I [00:34:00] would say that the biggest help to me in uncovering limiting beliefs was actually coaching. I started working with a life coach last year while I was trying to build my podcast on top of my full time job. And I really liked coaching as opposed to therapy because I felt like coaching was leading me towards a goal.
Therapy was more about, like, kind of talking about how I was feeling, talking about how my past affected my present, which is absolutely important. But I really liked the, like, emphasis on goal setting or time management or mindset that the life coaching provided. And through those conversations I felt really safe to be really vulnerable and honest.
And, open about my struggles in achieving certain goals, and through that process I felt that we were able to [00:35:00] identify some limiting beliefs that kept me stuck in place when I was wanting to, like, actively wanting to grow. so yeah, that is all I have to say on the subject of limiting beliefs.
I hope you found it helpful.I know I said at the beginning that I would eventually tell you one of my own limiting beliefs around finance, but I kind of did throughout the podcast just to give you an example. and I shared some other ones as well. and this is just to say that I think this is a process. I think I probably still have limiting beliefs that I haven't yet really uncovered. One thing that's helped is that I don't think that it needs to all happen overnight or within a certain time frame. I'd rather just have a consistent openness to noticing what sort of thought patterns might hold me back from achieving my goals.
and I've made a goal of some regular reflection to help me. Get out of [00:36:00] my thoughts in my mind and like kind of see my thoughts on paper. and I think regular reflection is so good as we go through changes in life and, acquire new perspectives. So that's all I have for you today.
Just a reminder, if you enjoy this episode or you have any feedback, you can message me on the podcast, Instagram, passion project, pending. Or you can fill out a form or whatever on the website, passionprojectpending. com. I hope you enjoyed, definitely want to know if I should do more of these and yeah, I hope this was helpful in some way.
Thank you for listening. Bye.