How An Iraq War Veteran Turned PTS Into A Band With A Message

A triple agent looks a young soldier in the eye and says the North Gate is about to be hit. Minutes later, the blast proves it. That moment is one of the turning points Sean Martin shares with us, and it’s also part of the story behind why his band, The Quarantined, doesn’t exist just to entertain.

Sean is a prior-service Army airborne infantry veteran who deployed to Iraq and ran hundreds of combat missions. He opens up about what pulled him toward the most “consequential” path, how a required talk with an Army psychologist shattered his sense of confidentiality, and what it feels like to keep operating when trust inside your unit starts to crack. We also talk about the strange whiplash of being a junior enlisted soldier doing higher-level work, and the career-defining choice he faced afterward: a “golden ticket” toward Special Forces or a fast exit with disability benefits.

From there, we shift into veteran mental health and the real mechanics of healing. Sean explains how PTS showed up in his nervous system, why therapy helped him translate emotions into words, and how music became both an outlet and a tool. We get into songwriting as catharsis, the lyric-first process behind their latest release, Aversion To Normalcy, and how sound and vibration can change your internal state in ways that feel close to frequency therapy. We also point you to Sean’s writing about PTS on the band’s website and discuss the questions veterans carry long after they come home.

If you care about veteran stories, PTS recovery, VA disability realities, or music therapy that doesn’t sugarcoat the truth, hit play, then subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it.

Transcript

Meet An Iraq Veteran Musician

Larry Zilliox 0:00

Good morning. I'm your host, Larry Zilliox, Director of Culinary Services, here at the Warrior Retreat at Bull Run. And this week our guest is Sean Martin. He is the founder and sort of the frontman for a band called The Quarantine. And uh Sean reached out to me after an episode that I did with uh Donna Meltzer over at the Brain Injury Services. And we had talked extensively, Donna and I, about uh PTS and the work that they do to help veterans. And he wanted to introduce me to his band, which is the quarantine, which um is amazing music, first of all. Um it's it's not for everybody. I'm just gonna say that up front, but um, I think a lot of people will really understand it and take some very meaningful words away from it. I mean, I I've been listening to it now for uh a week or more, and uh each song that I get into is just better and better. Sean, welcome to the podcast.

Sean Martin 1:11

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. That was very, very great intro. Thank you. I'm I'm sorry that you're liking the music. Yeah, it is something that kind of grows on, yeah.

Larry Zilliox 1:20

I like to start I Sean is prior service army, um, airborne, uh uh deployed in Iraq. Um, and I like to start my questions with um a lot of our guests with if you could join the air force, why did you join the army?

Sean Martin 1:40

Uh that you know, I asked myself that after I got to Almondorf Air Force Base, and I saw

Joining Airborne With Big Ambitions

Sean Martin 1:45

that they were serving them uh steak and lobster every day. That that made me really question my choices, but of course that didn't come until the choice was already made. Yeah. Wow.

Larry Zilliox 1:58

So when did you uh when did you go in?

Sean Martin 2:01

Uh I joined up in uh December 28th of 2004.

Larry Zilliox 2:05

Wow.

Sean Martin 2:05

Okay.

Larry Zilliox 2:06

You were 18? Yeah. Right, right out of high school. How come? Why did you join?

Sean Martin 2:11

Well, uh, you know, things. It was um, you know, wanting to get out of my town. Um, it was wanting to uh open up to um new opportunities and a new life, you know. Um, I knew that that it would that it would take me, that would give me an entirely different perspective to then go after a an entirely different life, maybe something I'd never known. I I figured it was gonna give me give it to places where I'd never been, so I'd end up with new things that I'd never known, right? Um and but I joined the the airborne infantry and specifically I wanted to do the special forces contract, 18x um contract that that was a fast track into it um from basic training. I wanted to do that because I wanted to know what it was like to have the the power to kill and to use that um for people's benefits. And I felt like um, you know, being in special forces to me, it was about integrating into a community and um teaching them how to become uh self-sufficient warriors and um help them overthrow whatever oppressive force was around them and then move out. To me, that that's what I was looking forward to doing. And you know, killing is is a part of that, but it's just one of the many tools that you learn, along with diplomacy and subterfuge and um you know at least a few different other different other options to um to you know integrate into a community and do uh sometimes black operations, sometimes very overt operations of community organizing, you know.

Larry Zilliox 3:58

And as an 18-year-old, how did you form this understanding of the special forces in the in the army? What was it? What uh did you come from a military family or how did you arrive at? I mean, this is not the way a lot of 18-year-olds think.

Sean Martin 4:16

Yeah, um, it was well, the uh the special forces contract was pitched to be. I I went to the recruiters and saying, um, you know, I I want to join uh it I knew that I wanted to join special forces, but um they gave me the opportunity because everyone had told me it's like, dude, just don't even ask for it. You know, like what's what's the point of even asking? You're not gonna get it because they didn't know that there was a pipeline directly to special forces from basic training. Um, so so I I wanted to I wanted to do that because um it to me it was the most high speed thing that I

Combat Missions And Seeking Help

Sean Martin 4:55

could that I could do. It was the most consequential thing. It had weight. It there are reasons, purposes, um, that and consequences. Um, I wanted to be in the shit. I didn't just want to be a regular ass grunt and have nothing really, you know, else besides that. Because to me, that seemed, you know, that I I knew that I could offer more. So did you get there? No, I didn't. I got so I got into um I got to uh airborne infantry, and we were deployed to Iraq. And um in the scope of my career, I had a sergeant major who was, I didn't know it, you know, for most of the time, but I found out later that was I mean and watching me because I I guess I reminded him of him. And um later on in my deployment, when I guess I should preface this by saying after well over 300 missions, combat missions outside the wire, um, after many uh at least getting blown up, um, getting shot at, taking detainees, um, interrogated detainees, um, built helped build my, you know, my platoon built a uh patrol base out in the middle of the uh of you know basically nowhere.

Larry Zilliox 6:15

Right.

Sean Martin 6:15

Um and after all these experiences, I went back on leave and I had a required conversation that I thought was classified with an army psychologist, and it turns out it was not classified, and they gave all of that information to my to my unit. They saw that as um, oh well, he because he's asking for help, um, then he must be damaged in some form or another. And all of my shit was packed up and ready to go. They didn't think that I was even coming back. My unit had written me off entirely and completely, and I was basically just left out in the wind. And I continued to do missions and operations with them, and it continued to become apparent to me that they were looking to take me out. And so there was a definite loss of trust in um in some of the people who uh I had to put my life in consistently. Um, and some of them, some of them were NCOs, some of them weren't. Um, but eventually what happened was they put me in a talk. Uh, and then the sergeant major kicking by the talk and was like, what the hell are you doing here? And um I told them what you know basically what had happened. He's like, Don't worry, I already know you're coming with me, don't worry. And so I started to work directly for under the sergeant major. And under that, I was doing investigations. Under that, I was doing missions inside the fob that were much more about passing messages between different entities. A lot of times it was the special forces compound inside our fob. So I started to um to get into this extra level of um subterfuge and intelligence gathering and human intelligence gathering and interrogation and um noticing every single little thing that happens

Inside The FOB Intelligence Work

Sean Martin 8:00

and every single thing that everybody says and everything in a room and marking it so that you can repeat it later. It's a very, very different thing than study Battle Drill and Alpha and you know, understand the different ways in which you can flank, you know, a target objective because that's the basic infantry. Yeah, you know, and this is like another level where it's like I'm not even 21 years old, and I'm already like uh doing this high speed, like you know, I I was there were times in which they sent me into brigade meeting brigade uh operations meetings, and um I was the representative uh for the sergeant major at these meetings, and I'm a specialist. And I'm sitting around hanging around with lieutenant colonels and colonels and all these officers, and there's like it was a very, very weird situation. But eventually, um, through all these different experiences, there was a very, very consequential mission that they sent me on uh to to essentially guard this guy at the front gate, at the the north gate of Fob Kelso. And um when I got there, uh it became very apparent that this guy was not just a regular dude, he had three different cell phones, he had his own weapon, uh, and he was a local national. So this dude turned out to be a triple agent, and we were just pulling guard on him to make sure that he didn't go and like leave the area. But the this dude could easily go anywhere that he really wanted to, you know. Um, and eventually I started he I started asking questions because at the time I started to pick up on Arabic words and I started to pick up on some of the things that he was talking about and started to realize that um that this dude was starting to was talking it in a way that wasn't wasn't just passing regular information. And um then he started to brag about fucking over everybody, and so I started to ask questions. Um and eventually I just used the process of just trying to get get him to open up to me. Um and eventually he told me he's a triple agent, he's playing everybody, he's calling in a vehicle-born IED on the North Gate that's gonna blow up everybody, including himself, because this entire war is fucked. He hates everybody, everybody, every different, you know, group that he was getting to get killed today had a role in killing his family over the last four or five years. And it was uh so

Triple Agent Warning At North Gate

Sean Martin 10:40

he said that they put me here specifically uh so that I could die too. And he said, Go ahead, ask your sergeant manager, he's my contact. So he gave me five seconds of lead to to go away um once my replacement came. And I couldn't tell anything to the replacement except for the orders, because that was the beginning thing. You can't say anything to the to the uh to the person relieving you. You have to give them the the thing and don't tell them who the person is. So the information didn't transfer who he was between the guards. And so I did that and I couldn't tell them anything about what was coming. And about 10 seconds later, a huge explosion blew me forward and destroyed the entire North Gate. A whole bunch of local nationals, a whole bunch of soldiers, a whole bunch of civilians. It was really bad. And I went right back to the sergeant major and I said, You fuck, what did you do? So and from then we had a conversation with the colonel. I told them everything that happened, and they gave me two options. They said, We'll give you the golden ticket into special forces because you've already done above and beyond. You did a great job. You stayed alive when you when you know maybe you weren't supposed to, or we'll give you golden the golden parachute out. We'll give you 50% disability and you can get out in two weeks. We'll sign the orders right now. And I said, I don't trust you guys. Give me the golden parachute out. So they I left with 50% disability two weeks later. I was out for Richardson.

Larry Zilliox 12:13

And how how long were you in? Um, just under three years. Three years, wow. Okay. And um did you uh make a claim for to the VA? I mean, did you were you?

Sean Martin 12:24

No, the claim was already made. The claim was already made for me for 50%. It was already made for me and approved before I even got back to the United States. Okay, yeah, it was an amazing situation. From from then on, another seven years down the road, I had to apply to get 100%. And it took me about seven years.

Larry Zilliox 12:44

Yeah.

Sean Martin 12:44

Even with well-documented combat situations, even with well-documented, you know,

Choosing Discharge And VA Claims

Sean Martin 12:50

different elements of my deployment that were obviously and overtly traumatic. Um, it still took me seven years.

Larry Zilliox 12:59

You're at 100% now though.

Sean Martin 13:00

Yeah. Good. Yeah. Good.

Larry Zilliox 13:02

So how long were you out before you came to that moment where you that made you decide the that you needed to form this band and it needed to exist not just for music, but to have a message?

Sean Martin 13:19

I would say it was 2010.

Larry Zilliox 13:22

Okay.

Sean Martin 13:22

Um, I was going to music school and I knew that I'd already decided that I was going to do music for my life. I was just talking about whether I wanted to be a session player or, you know, like a side player, or whether I wanted to do my own music. And I came to the choice is either I'm gonna face everything that who I am, including the shit that happened to me, and put it into music, or what's the point of lying to everybody and trying to make an authentic music and not talk about it? You know, because at the time, like I wasn't dealing with with PTSD at all. I I wasn't even going to therapy. Um, I wasn't doing anything to treat anything that was happening to me. My nervous system was going all over the place all the time. And it created a real, you know, chaos, a very chaotic person. And um, it wasn't until I started to get a hold um that I started to go to therapy and start to mitigate um what was going on with my nervous system, was I able to actually get knowledgeable enough uh to really speak on the deeper aspects of what was going on with me and relate it to people. That that turned out to be the biggest thing that I learned from the inpatient clinic that I eventually went into um was

Founding The Quarantine As Truth

Sean Martin 14:45

how to how to get the language and translate the the the language of the feelings and emotions and experiences and um and all of that uh and have the language to explain it to just regular people. And that that so that those pieces came together in 2010, 2012.

Larry Zilliox 15:09

Right. And so that's when you decide that the music that you're gonna write and perform it's just not for entertainment, it's got a message, and it has a message that's rooted in your experiences over the last 10 years, essentially.

Sean Martin 15:27

Yeah, yeah. It's um it's trying to um it's trying to give it an expression uh in general, but you know, seeing and living in the some of the worst parts of Los Angeles is also a part of it. Seeing the you know, having the um watching the political uh world, um, having commentary on that, um, the social world, how how um it seems like parts of our society are are totally changing and not always for the better. Um how to explain and express that uh was was all part of it, as well as a recognition of the values that got me through those very issues. To me, the music is is the message is giving you the values and the at least alluding to the tools that helped me overcome uh all of the obstacles that were in front of me, uh and continue to do music and stay true to myself.

Larry Zilliox 16:32

And so music uh uh was basically therapy and an emotional process for you.

Sean Martin 16:39

Yes. Sometimes it was uh it came as a result of therapy. Sometimes the music to me, uh playing music um and interacting with the sound of music, uh, you know, just as an audio engineer, um, to me, uh the vibrations that it causes is really where the therapy is at. When it vi when everything is vibrating together, you know, you have the kick put you know perfectly with the guitars and the bass, and you know, when all of that is perfect, it creates a vibration. And that vibration changes your entire being. And depending on what kind of music you're listening to, it can change everything that you're thinking. For example, they do this directly with bineural beats, they they do this directly with with frequency, uh, frequency therapy. Um, and there's a lot of general applications for it, but there's also a popular application for music, and that's what I'm using. So, um, but I'm also having the lyrics be a representation of the values and principles that um I would like to see reflected in the world and also the the values and principles that to me are um are the things that got me through.

Larry Zilliox 17:54

So when you think about your process for writing a song, is it that you think about an experience that you had and try to write music

Vibration Frequency And Healing

Larry Zilliox 18:05

to that explain that experience, or are you writing the music and coming up with the music and then thinking that there's some some connection to something in the past? Which what's which comes first? It's sort of the chicken or the egg kind of thing.

Sean Martin 18:24

Yeah, I I learned to do both in music school. Um, but in but in Aversion to Normalcy, almost all of the songs came directly from me writing the lyrics. Um, and it started not with me trying to write lyrics, but with me trying to write to express a feeling that was overwhelming. And I was at a point to where I didn't have any other way to get the complex thing that it that was going on inside me out into the world, you know? Yeah. Punching, punching bag wasn't enough. Taking a walk wasn't enough, talking with other people wasn't enough because it wasn't permanent enough.

Larry Zilliox 19:06

Right.

Sean Martin 19:07

You know, I ran into all these different forms where it's like I didn't have the expression to to make this to make the you know, make these feelings feel like well, to make these feelings expressed in some form or another. And so with that, I started with the lyrics and I made the lyrics um to me were uh when I was done writing them, that was the catharsis. That was when, oh finally I've I see it, I feel accomplished. It says what I wanted to say, it expresses what I wanted to express. All right, good, I feel it. And then some of them I would set them down for years and then come back to them and put music to them.

Larry Zilliox 19:45

Wow.

Sean Martin 19:46

And for most of a version to normalcy, that's how that process went.

Larry Zilliox 19:49

Well, listeners, Sean is referring to their latest album. Not well, I call it an album because of my age. Yes, but uh it's a version to normalcy, and uh, it has some great uh tracks on it. Um, I've I guess uh I I know on your webpage and and listeners that that webpage is is uh thequarantined.com. So I'm gonna spell that out for everybody. It's t-h e qua r-n

Lyrics First Songwriting Method

Larry Zilliox 20:21

t-n-ed.com. And I I urge all our listeners to visit the webpage and you'll learn a lot about Sean's journey. What I really want to direct your attention to is that there is a a section of the webpage where he talks about his struggle with PTS. And I think everybody needs to read it. It's uh it's fascinating. The the really the part that jumped out at me is you are talking about you're in a VA treatment facility, and the doctors told you that look, you're you're you're just you're gonna kill yourself if you keep up the way you're going. And then you somehow conjured up the words to the Pink Floyd uh song Wish You Were Here, and especially that part that says, Did you exchange a walk, a walk-on part in a war for the lead role in a cage? Which I I'm sure I heard that lyric long time ago, but boy, does that really jump out and say this is what a lot of veterans are faced with. And uh it's it's a listeners, you gotta go and and click on that section of a webpage and and listen to it or read it um and and listen to the music. And I know that on the page you kind of right up front, you kind of identify your music as as grunge. Uh uh you still sticking with that or

Sean Martin 22:00

Yeah. I mean, yeah, we're um we're our catalog is um punk metal and grunge. Um not necessarily in that order. Um we you know in in that

Album Themes And PTS Resources

Sean Martin 22:10

we uh delve into some of the acoustic uh side of things. Um you know people have even said that that trendsetter is more um southern rock than um than grunge or or punk and I would agree with them.

Larry Zilliox 22:24

I mean we I deliberately told my uh guitarist make these guitar lines sound like Dwayne Allman So he he did and it sounds fantastic and I love it you know so we we tried to to take from all of the different elements uh of of rock and there really is a very wide palette yes for sure uh you can find all kinds of music on here I'll tell you what it reminds me of as a kid it's sort of it's got that same vibe of a theme-driven album that was found in Queens Reich Operation Minecraft. Oh and I really it really jumps out at me because of that I have you know strong memories of that as growing up with that kind of music in the 70s and the the graphics are pretty crazy there I'm just I'm looking at your webpage right now and there's some stuff jumping out at you that uh a lot of gas mask stuff going on but it's awesome yes yes that's the that was the um the visualization um that we were um that we were using for this album you know and it also it's it's part of the logo as well yeah um you know to give to give people a sense that well it already establishes the idea that everyone wears a mask yeah but what's underneath it is where you see who you really are yeah yeah well you know I I when I first got your email um I'm reading it and you introduce yourself as my name is the quarantine and I'm like oh man what is this because I get some pretty wild emails from people who want to tell their story and and be on a a a podcast how could that can't be your name um and I did a little bit of more research and found you but yeah I apologize for that it actually should not have said that's just it was it was quite the the lead in there listeners I want to give you that web page again it's thequarantine.com uh that's the band's webpage you'll you're gonna find Sean's story there but also you're gonna find

Genre Masks And Live Plans

Larry Zilliox 24:40

all this music uh wherever you get your music Spotify uh uh Apple music uh youtube wherever so check it out really you know and you are based in in uh Nashville yeah okay so do you uh play regularly anywhere in the Nashville area where where listeners can go see you or oh right now we're um we're looking to to start booking shows um and do like acoustic uh type shows um around there so if anybody's got recommendations hit me up um but we will be looking to do a uh a West Coast tour either this fall in in late summer or uh in spring of next year. Wow awesome and uh all that information will be on the webpage listeners um that's thequarantine.com well listen Sean uh I really enjoy the music it was great talking to you um I really appreciate you taking the time to come on and and tell us about how what you found in music and how it can really benefit other other veterans to you know get get some sort of emotional release through the writing of the music the writing of the lyrics you know even if you'd not if you don't play music you could write the lyrics and find somebody who plays music you know it's it's just amazing I think it's it's just great what you're doing. Thank you thank you so much I really really appreciate that and it's so great to uh they to have me on i i really appreciate you you have me on and and uh uh help me to spread the message oh for sure for sure so well listeners we'll have another episode next monday morning at oh five hundred you can find us on all the major podcast platforms we're on youtube and Reece across America so until then thanks for listening