14. Peak Perspectives: 15 Ascents and the Mindset Lessons Learned Along the Way

I just climbed a mountain 15 times in 36 hours. It was a physical challenge, for sure. But the most important lessons I learned on the mountain were the mental ones.

In this episode, I'll share insights about testing everything I thought I knew about my own personal grit, perseverance, head-down doggedness and resilience, and how you can apply those lessons to your life. Whether you're climbing a literal mountain, like me, or a figurative one, like we do every day in real life, the lessons I learned on the mountain will help sharpen your own personal mettle.

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Transcript

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just like in real life, when say a marriage ends or you lose a job or whatever you have planned for your life, doesn't turn out the way you'd hoped. You have to make a new plan. And there is something beautiful about learning these lessons, learning about your own mental toughness. In this safe container of an endurance event, so you can learn how you're going to respond. Before you, you need to use these skills. In the rest of your life, where it's not quite the same environment. Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm Laurie Reynoldson, former award-winning attorney turned high performance coach for midlife women. I designed this podcast is your go-to place for weekly midlife inspiration, where I'll be sharing, inspiring stories, providing step-by-step actionable coaching and introducing you to some incredible women who are absolutely crushing it at the midlife game. And you'd better believe we'll also be having candid conversations about mid-life relationships, career moves, money, menopause, and so much more. So take out your reading glasses and notebooks. My friends, because the School of Midlife is in session. Well, hi there. Welcome back to the school of mid-life podcast. Aye. Just finished the EverString 29 0 2 9 challenge in sun valley this weekend. And while this was not the episode I had planned to record today. Um, since I'm two days out from finishing that event. I thought I would spend a little time and share the mindset lessons that I learned on the mountain this weekend. And don't worry. This, the school of midlife, isn't turning into a health and fitness podcast. The plan, the episode that I had previously planned to drop today will come out very soon. But. Since it's so fresh and raw still at this point. And there were so many incredible mental wellness and mindset lessons that I learned on the mountain. I thought I shared them with you. So here we go. Um, I will say because I have had some questions about how am I feeling. Um, I'm tired. Like. That physically just exhausted kind of tired. Um, I felt like a toddler yesterday. I woke up. And we took the O for a walk. I had a smoothie for breakfast. I took a nap. Um, so I literally got up and then took a nap. Um, had a massage, a wonderful massage had lunch, took another nap before driving home back to Boise. So I've been sleeping a lot. My stomach is still trying to adjust to food. I'm not super, super hungry. When you do these kinds of events, fueling and getting food in is so hard because you, you know, your brain is sending blood to your heart to keep the heart pumping so that, you know, you can literally climb a mountain. But because of that, There's not a lot of blood. That's going to your stomach to break down the food. And apologies to the scientists out there. And the nutritionist is probably isn't exactly how it works, but. You get to a point where you can't, you just can't physically take in any more food. Like you can't stomach it, it makes you totally nauseous and sick. Um, And I have been eating since I got off the hill. But i'm still not terribly hungry Turns out I've lost about six pounds. Not, I wouldn't suggest it's definitely not the way to do that. Kind of reminds me of that line from devil wears Prada where. And Hathaway's character compliments, Emily Blunt's character, and says, you, you look so thin and she says, thank you. I'm only two stomach flus away from my goal weight. But so yeah, you can have the stomach flu and lose weight that way. Uh, you can go climb a mountain 15 times and also. Get to your goal weight if you want. But again, wouldn't, wouldn't recommend that. Um, Both of the big toes on my feet are numb. I do remember that from last time. I feel like there's probably something about. Being on your feet for that long and taking that many steps. I don't really remember. I would have to look. Um, You know, it's 24 miles and in between the climbing, the mountain. There is walking from say the gondola to the base of the mountain. There is. Going in the lodge and getting food there. So your. You're doing a lot of walking. Even though the course is 24 miles. Um, I've got these really random bruises on my wrists. I think they're from my hiking poles, but. Um, they. I don't remember those from last time, but it. Anyway. Um, someone asked me a guy asked me on climb three. If I was going to do another one. And I kind of laughed and thought this must be what it's like when somebody asks a woman who is in labor, if she's going to have another baby, I mean, I don't know. I'm kind of in the thick of it right now. So I'm not going to be able to tell you if I'm going to do another one or not, but. That sort of led me to. Why do another one, period. I mean, I did, I did the challenge two years ago. I completed the challenge. I earned the red hat at the top. So why do another one? You know, Why. Just check that box and move on. And. And it occurred to me. While I was climbing. That the beauty of this event is certainly the community is incredible. There are people who have done this multiple times in different cities and they just keep coming back. So there is something about the community and how supportive and thoughtful and just incredible. They really are. Um, so there there's that, but there's another piece of it that, that relates to the mental side of it. And. It's almost like this mental test in a controlled environment, if that makes any sense, It's almost like it teaches you how to respond. When you're faced with similar situations in real life, like. Okay. So when you're on the mountain, How are you going to respond? When things get tough? When your calves get tight or when you get a blister on your foot or when you get the niggles in your hip. And. That kind of getting tough. It's the same skill, the same reps that you're going to need. If you're facing a health scare or the loss of a loved one, or just some sort of an adverse. Situation in your life. It's the same. Exercise in mental toughness. How are you going to respond when things get tough or how do you respond when things don't go. As planned. You know, there was a, there was a lightening hold on the mountain. And I'll talk about that a little bit more, but we were off the mountain for. Two hours. And. That was not part of my plan. So there came a point where I had to make a new plan and just like in real life, when say a marriage ends or you lose a job or whatever you have planned for your life, doesn't turn out the way you'd hoped. You have to make a new plan. And there is something beautiful about learning these lessons, learning about your own mental toughness. In this safe container of an endurance event, so you can learn how you're going to respond. Before you, you need to use these skills. In the rest of your life, where it's not quite the same safe container, safe environment. So, what did I learn on the mountain this weekend? Here are a couple of lessons in no particular order. But let's go. number one, It's always harder. If you try to do it yourself. And what I mean by that is every ascent. That I tried to climb by myself. Was harder than if I climbed it with someone else. So at either at the base or if I found somebody halfway up and we started talking. It was just, it made it go by so much faster. Because. We're cheering each other on. And if there are parts where say I'm leading, then. On the next pitch or the next part, the other person can lead and it's this beautiful back and forth. But when you do it yourself and. Uh, this one's in particularly pointed. It's good for those of you who like me, those of us who don't like asking for help. The I'm going to do this myself. I'm not weak. I'll figure this out on my own kind of thing. But I'll tell you what. There is something to be said for using the community for using the people around you for swallowing, that pride, that. Idea that you can only be successful on your own terms. If you do it yourself, that somehow you have to earn it yourself. That's not right. You can be very successful and still accept help when it is offered. Yeah. At the metal ceremony on Saturday night, I had two different men come up to me each individually. One of the men I'd hiked probably three a sense with an another one. Um, just randomly on one, a cent. And both of them thanked me for helping them up the mountain. One was crying. He said, I was the only reason that he had earned the red hat. If it wasn't for my coaching, he would not have made it. And. I love hearing that, of course, but here's the thing. I'm coaching everyone up on the trail because it made it easier for me. I don't know about you, but I'm at my best when I'm helping other succeed and helping them reach their goals too. And the only way we can do that. Is to one. Put ourselves out there. Make ourselves open for that interaction, make ourselves a little bit vulnerable. Um, especially if we don't actually know these people, but say, you know, can I hike with you? Can I have lunch with you? Can I sit with you kind of a thing? Where maybe in any sort of other environment we might be. Nervous about approaching the conversation or trying to join in the conversation circle or whatever it is. But it's okay to ask for help. It's okay for you to insert yourself. In what appears to otherwise be a closed circle? And, and that's exactly what I did. It's, it's so much harder when you try to do it yourself. So find some people that are going in the same direction as you and go with them. Another lesson is there is no easy way up. Granted, this is not, I mean, Usually when you go on a hike. There are steep parts followed by flatter parts of the trail. And sometimes they go down, you know, it's this undulating trail. It goes up and then it goes down. This is not your typical hike when they steep. You know, steep then flat the undulation. This is 15 a sense of a blue ski run. Granted the blues on sun valley, from what I hear from the east coast friends that were my new east coast friends who hiked with me. They're more like double black diamonds. So. It's pretty fucking steep and it's straight. Up. There are no flats. There is no downhill. Even the flatus parts of the hill. Are uphill. There's a part, probably two thirds of the way up, which is called the wall. It is almost a 50% incline. And. To get over the wall. What I ended up doing is. I, it was almost like I was crab walking. I was scrambling like a crab. So imagine. A poll in each hand. My, my toes were pointed outward. So, you know, my heels are in my toes are pointed, outward, and I am literally just scrambling up this hill. I'm planning my right foot and my right pole and my left foot and my left pole. And I'm repeating, repeating, repeating. For all the way up the hill, uh, up the wall. That's probably, I don't know, 20, 30 yards. It's super hard to tell because it's so steep. But. You had to get over the wall to get up the hill. And there was one trail that we were on. There is no easy way up that hill. I mean. The only way to make it up the hill. Is to take one step and then another. And keep going until you reach the top, which is exactly like real life. I know that. So often. We want. The magic pill or the shortcut, or, you know, just tell me what to do. How can I get there quicker? And. In the end. I mean, yeah. Maybe you can find some sort of solution that. Gets you there. Quicker or the appearance that it's getting you quicker, but in the long run, It's doing the work. That's going to get you there. It's putting the time in it's. Putting the work in, because there is no easy way from a to B that doesn't mean you have to make it harder than it is. But if you think that there's going to be some simple solution for whatever it is, you're working on. Just know that there's no easy way up. Which relates to another lesson, which is climb the mountain one step at a time. It's kind of like that, that book, or I don't know if it's a book or just the saying that, how do you eat an elephant? You eat it one bite at a time. Also do people actually eat elephants or I don't know. But the same thing goes for climbing mountains. Whether your going up. You know, running a part of the pitch or you're going slow and steady or. You almost get to this point in this particular event where I call it, chunking it up where you maybe hike 50 steps to the next sign or the next marker or the next big rock or whatever it is. You go 50 steps and then you take a rest. However you do it. It's just this constant motion of taking the next step. You climb the mountain one step at a time. So like, there is no easy way up. The only way to get up that mountain is one step at a time. Another lesson. Take the decision out of it. This is particularly true when we are creating new habits, because we've conditioned ourselves to act a certain way for almost our whole life. So when things get hard, it's very easy to slip back into our old ways when we're trying something new. I mean, we get to the point where we can easily, I don't know, talk ourselves into doing something or out of doing something it's that, that voice in the back of your head that is. Saying something like this is so much harder than I expected, or why am I making this change? This is stupid. So we ended up getting all up in our head about what we should be doing, or shouldn't be doing. And we start kind of mentally checking off the reasons why we should start. Doing something or stop doing something or just go back to what we were doing before. It's it's all that mental gymnastics, right. The whole idea of taking the decision out of it. Don't find yourself in the position where you're negotiating with yourself. Instead, whatever it is. Make a plan and work the plan. Take the decision out of it. Just do it. On the mountain that looks like. Climb to the top, that one step at a time, ride the gondola down and head right back up the mountain. You, you know, maybe you've got to go to the bathroom. Maybe it's time to eat. Sure. That factors into, but. Get your ass back up on the mountain. Keep climbing. That way you can take the decision out of it. You know, that it's going to be hike up, ride the gondola down had right back up the mountain, no decisions to be made. That's that shampoo, rinse. Repeat. Just keep doing the thing. Don't start negotiating with yourself. Take the decision out of it. Another lesson. B where your feet are, and this is such a big one, especially on. Laps three and four. I know, two years ago, lap four for me was the hardest. And that, that probably sounds silly because it's not that far into. The event itself. I mean four out of 15, there's still plenty of work to go. And that's exactly why it's hard because your pace is starting to slow ever so slightly, you know, it's taking an extra, I don't know, five or 10 minutes, maybe. To do. Uh, an ascent. And you still have 11 or 12 laps to go. So it's, that's when it starts settling in that this is hard. And. This is going to sound so ridiculous, so silly, but. The first time I did this event two years ago. It occurred to me. Like, this is hard. And I knew on one hand that I knew it was going to be hard. But on the other hand, I was sort of approaching it as like, It's just a 1.6 mile hike up a mountain. I mean, How hard can it be? Sure, sure. I'm sure it's going to be hard because you have to do it so many times, but. Is it really that hard? It's hard. And the problem with not focusing on where you are in that moment, being where your feet are is you start looking around at everyone else. You start thinking. Why does it look so easy for them? Why am I not going faster? You start looking up the hill thinking, oh my God, I've got so much further to go. You start doing the mental, the math in your head. Okay. If I'm on lap three, that's 12 more to go and I still have to finish the one that I'm on. But you can see how pretty quickly. When you're not focusing on where you are at that time. Your mind starts spinning. You start. Thinking of everything else. It's so easy to become overwhelmed or frustrated with the pace of progress. When you start thinking about all the little things, everything else. When you start focusing on. What everyone else is doing or what their pace looks like, or how much further you have to go. Instead start concentrating on completing the task at hand. Which in this case is literally just taking the next step. Focus only what's in front of you right now. When you need to bring your thoughts back to what you're doing. It's it's, that's why meditation is so important, right? Is you give your brain. One thing to think about focus on the breath. It's the same when you're climbing the mountain. It's the same. When you're focusing on a project, it's the same with whatever it is that you are doing. In life. Focus on that. Be here now. Be where your feet are. Just focus on what's in front of you. Another lesson. Action is the antidote to fear. I know I've mentioned this before. Um, So the wall. Again, it's, it's two thirds of the way up the hill. You're pretty tired at this point. And it's, I don't know, 20, 30 yards. I honestly don't know because it is straight up. So it's so hard to figure out how long it is. I do know that it is just this face. That is. Rocky and shale and Sandy. And if your foot isn't firmly planted. Then when you take a step, that foot is going to actually slide down the hill. And because it's, it's so steep. For me, I'm hoping like hell that the foot actually catches before it slides too far down the hill. So, so each time. Well, no. That's not right. In the beginning. I would look. Probably the first two or three a sense. I would look at the wall and think, how the hell am I going to get over this? It's so steep. I mean, I, you know, I talked about how I would kind of crab walk up it. But here's the thing. Staring at the wall. Or the mountain. Or the pitch or whatever it is that's in front of you. Doesn't make it less steep. In fact, you can only stare at it and hype yourself up for so long. At some point you have to climb the wall. And what's interesting. Is that in the doing. In the actual climbing of the wall. You realize that. You've built it up in your head. Worse than it actually is. Right. You've you've been so focused on the weighting and the psyching up and the figuring out that. When you build it up. It becomes worse. It becomes a bigger problem than it actually is. So. The lesson that I learned there is. Okay, take a moment to figure this out, to be smart about it. Um, if you, if you need a moment to be scared or a little fearful that's okay, too. But then get moving. Because it's in the moving. It's the action that quiets the fear. And once I realized that. I could get up and over the wall. Once I realized after, you know, a couple times going over the wall successfully. I can do this. I didn't stop anymore. It was just part of what I was doing. It was, I wasn't, I wasn't fearful anymore because I was in action. And if I would have just stood there and continued to size it up and psych myself out about it. I wouldn't have ever gotten over the wall and he can't get to the top of the mountain unless you get over the wall. So, whatever your building up in your head, whatever this fear is, you know, whatever you're thinking, you're, you're making the. The issue or the problem bigger by just assessing it. And psyching yourself up and looking at it from every direction. Take one step in the direction of that fear. And then another, and by the time you get through it, you'll realize that. What you were so worried about that fear that was building up inside of you. You made it much bigger than it actually is. Two more lessons. In fact, I think, I think these are the final two, but, um, These will be two lessons in one. Um, one, you have to pivot when the plan doesn't come together and related to that, you can only control your preparation and your reaction. So two years ago, I hiked a 11 a sense on day one and I saved four for the second day. And I got to tell you. Those four on the second day were damn hard. I hadn't slept enough. I hadn't eaten enough. And my body just, it was tired. Um, everything was sore, everything hurt. So I knew that I didn't want to leave for a sense for the second day. On this go around. So my plan this year was to finish all 15 cents before getting off the mountain. And I put together this beautiful ascent plan. I looked at my hiking times from two years ago, I'd put together this great plan, you know, every hour and a half, this would happen, blah, blah, blah. I put together an eating plan. I knew that I was going to have a Turkey sandwich at this ascent and then an apple after this ascent. I mean, I really planned it. Well, And the, again, the idea was finish all the ascents before getting off the mountain. And I'll tell ya. For the first 5 cents. So 33% of the challenge I was executing the plan. Beautifully. Literally. I had planned that I would be having lunch at 1230 and I would have finished five a sense by that time. And I hit it right on the nose at 1230. We had just finished a sent five. We went into the lodge to have lunch. We were in the, uh, lodge for a half an hour, just exactly as planned. And then we climbed our sixth ascent. Which was great. We were probably five minutes to the top. When they closed the gondola down. And the clothes had gone to lay down because there was lightening in the area. And absolutely they have to get us off the mountain if there's lightening in the area. Right. Um, the rule was that anytime there was a lightning within 20 miles, they close the gondola down. And when they close the gondola down, they have to get all the hikers off of the mountain. And of course that makes sense. I mean, If, if there's lightning in the area, you don't want it to be standing on a mountain side with metal poles in your hand. That makes zero sense. So for safety purposes, of course, they've got to get us off the hill. What I didn't plan on was I spent two hours sheltered in place at the roundhouse in the top of the gondola. And it was a. Great place to literally weather the storm. Um, You know, we, we made the best of it. We did some stretching. Some people took naps. But it was not part of my plan. I mean that those two hours. Are kind of the, like the workhorse, the meat of. The day as when it comes to doing a sense, because you have just had lunch. Your wealth fueled. Your body hasn't quite. It's not really tired. So you can get a number of a sense right after lunch. It's it's when I plan to kind of. Do a lot of work, you know? I've had the nutrition. I'm still moving at a good pace. I should have knocked out two more cents during the lightening hole. According to my plan. So, what that meant was by the time the mountain reopened at four 30. I should have just finished a scent. Eight. And then according to my plan, I would do one more before dinner and then finish the entire challenge around two 30 in the morning. I, and I, I mean, just saying that sounds bananas. I totally get it. I mean, why would anybody hike for start hiking at 6:00 AM? One day and then continue hiking until 2:30 AM the next day. But, but that was my plan. But here's the thing there. Wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. The only thing I could control was my reaction. Right. It is what it is. I ended up calling it a night after. Hike 10. Only after one night hike. I mean, at that point I'd been on the mountain for 18 hours, but there was something about that last hike. And how I felt on the gondola ride down, which is extremely nauseous. And. I, I was so tired. I was so nauseous. I couldn't figure out. How I could keep climbing at that point. And. I, I just kept thinking about, you know, I had this memory of two years ago when I left for, for the next day. And I was really stealing myself to do one more. Because if four was hard, two years ago, five. That was a lot of work to leave for, for Saturday. But I just, I couldn't do it. I mean, there's this point of, there comes a point of diminishing returns where you can either stay on the hill and get slower and slower and slower. Or go sleep for four hours, have breakfast, come back. Kind of, I mean, we'll call it refreshed, but you know, you're sleeping for four hours, so that's not terribly refreshed, especially when you have been working out for so many hours the day before. But. You come back refreshed and then you knock out the last five. And that's what I did. I mean, My plan. Went to hell. During that two hour lightening hold. But. There was anything I could do about it. The only thing I could control. Was my preparation and my reaction. And. That's the same. With anything in life. It is beautiful to put together this plan. It's great when you start executing it, but what happens when you have to pivot what happens when that plan doesn't come together? How do you react when. Everything. That you thought was going to happen? Doesn't. It's it's what you do to control your reaction in those situations. That is the most important. Because here's the thing. The plan is. Going to only be as good as the plan is. There are going to be. Problems with the plan or issues with the plan or the plan won't come together just exactly as you have planned it. And you've gotta be okay with that. You've got to be able to pivot and do something different to change the direction of what's going on when things don't go as planned. The only thing you can control is your reaction to the adverse situation. To the, the hiccup in the plan. Before we started climbing Jesse Itzler, who is one of the founders and a serial entrepreneur. He does plenty of. Crazy. I mean, what most people would say are crazy endurance events. He's spent some time living with monks just to experience that lifestyle. He spent some time training with Navy seals. He does really interesting things. Maybe my favorite thing about him is that he's married to his wife, is Sarah Blakely, the CEO and founder of Spanx. And I just think she is an incredible role model for women. In business, but. He was giving a bit of a hype up speech on Thursday before the event started. And. He talked about the difference between can and will, and he put it this way. He said, there's a difference between will and can. Everybody can continue climbing when they get a blister. Everyone can get to whatever their goal is on this mountain. But the one simple question that everyone needs to ask themselves. Will you. What are you willing to do to get this one simple goal? And at the end of the day, that's what we're left with. Right. It's our grit and our perseverance and our head down doggedness. It's that resilience and personal metal. What do you do when you want to give up? When it's hard. When you're tired. When you start thinking to yourself, this is stupid. Whatever this is, you start wondering why did I sign up for this? Or maybe I didn't sign up for this. The reasons I do these events. To answer those questions for myself. What about you? How will you respond when things get hard? When things don't go as planned. When you want to give up. Who are you in those moments? I guess you got to ask yourself, what is your mountain? What is it that you need to put your head down, take one step at a time. And even when you're tired or you have a pesky blister or your muscles, ache and burn. What is the one thing that you need to do to keep climbing? Because I know that you're stronger than you think you are. Or, or maybe not, but here's the thing you won't know until you try. So the question at the end of the day, isn't can you, but will you. And those are the lessons the mindset lessons, the important life lessons I learned on the mountain this weekend. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the School of Midlife podcast. I'd love it if you would take a moment and leave me a five star review so that we can spread the word to other mid-life women. Then join my mailing list. The link is in the show notes. And if you're ready to make midlife your best life, you can also find out more about how to work with me in the show notes. I'll see you right back here next week when the School of Midlife is back in session.