158. From Fear Frequency to Fulfillment: How to Reclaim Your Midlife Power

What it really means to move through midlife with faith instead of fear. From an aerial yoga face-off with my own trust issues to the hard-earned wisdom of the dying, we’re getting brutally honest about how fear creeps into everything—from our bodies to our beliefs—and what to do about it.

Midlife is full of transitions—but for many high-achieving women, it’s not just the physical symptoms (hello, hormones, sleep, and body changes) that throw us off course. It’s the emotional weight of fear that creeps in, slows us down, and convinces us to play small.

In this powerful episode of The School of Midlife podcast, Laurie returns from her weekend at the magical Civana Wellness Resort with a renewed perspective—after a brush with fear in an aerial yoga class forced her to confront some very old, very real limiting beliefs. She shares how fear often masquerades as “being responsible,” “being prepared,” or even “being informed”—but underneath it all, it’s keeping us stuck.

You’ll hear:

• Why midlife women are often operating in a fear frequency—even when life looks “fine”
• What an aerial yoga meltdown has to do with trusting your intuition
• How Human Design can reveal hidden fears that quietly sabotage your fulfillment
• A powerful quote that reframes the choice between fear and faith
• A breakdown of the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying—and how they are secretly shaping your midlife decisions right now

Plus, Laurie invites you to the free 5-day Midlife Masterclass on why you still don’t feel like yourself—even after fixing your body. If you’ve been focused on wellness but still feel off… this is for you.

Resources + Links:

🎓 Sign up for the FREE 5-Day Masterclass

💫 Curious about the Best Life Retreat at Civana?
Reserve your spot before February 9, 2026!

👯‍♀️ Share this episode with a friend who’s ready to move from fear to faith.

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Transcript

Are you living in fear and calling it realistic? In this episode of the School of Midlife podcast, I'm pulling back the curtain on how fear disguises itself in midlife and why so many high achieving women stay stuck in survival mode even after they've checked all the right boxes. From monkey bars and aerial yoga to the five regrets of the dying, we're having an honest conversation about what it really takes to shift out of the fear frequency, and into a life powered by self-trust, freedom, and courage.

This is gonna be a good one. Let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson.

This is the podcast for the midlife woman who starting to ask herself big life questions. Like, what do I want? Is it too late for me? And what's my legacy beyond my family and my work. Each week we're answering these questions and more. At the School of Midlife, we're learning all of the life [00:01:00] lessons they didn't teach us in school and we're figuring out finally what it is we want to be when we grow up. Let's make midlife your best life. 

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of The School of Midlife podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Reynoldson. So good to see you here today and holy shit, it's February. Can you believe that? I mean. But how, how did that happen? But it, we are gonna calm down. We're gonna not worry about how quickly the year seems to be going by.

Also, let's bless and release January because I don't know about you, but January always feels like a heavy lift. So from a momentum perspective, let's just say we're, we're now starting 2026 in a way that feels a little more intentional because now we are reminded of how quickly time, time flies. That we're just going about our [00:02:00] business.

We're trying to deal with all of the news everywhere. We're trying to move our body and feed our family and take care of our friends and neighbors, and, and now we have one less month in the year to do that.

I am just back from an amazing weekend at the Civana Wellness Resort and Spa in Carefree, Arizona with two of my childhood friends.

If you are lucky enough to have friends who have known you through all of the seasons of life, even if like for us, there were years, periods of time where we really didn't see each other, but we've all reconnected and it's just this magical feeling. If you are lucky though, to have people who have known you through all of those seasons, protect those friendships, really work to make that a priority.[00:03:00] 

We had an incredible weekend. The Civana property is magical. I don't know how else to describe it. They have really thought of every little detail. It is the perfect escape. The food is incredible, the service is impeccable. The thing that really sets it apart from other resorts that I've been to is not only is it beautifully laid out, the landscaping is lovely,

the pools are amazing. The spa is fantastic. Okay.

But they also, every single day they have, I don't know, 20, 25, 30 different classes that you can take .

They have all these classes that you can take on manifestation and mindfulness and meditation I took a class on numerology, which I found fascinating. Not only do they have the classes for the mindset piece, but then they also have move your [00:04:00] body kind of classes. Really interesting Yoga classes, just sort of your regular yoga classes.

Also, some non-regular yoga classes, which I'll talk about in a minute. Uh, but they, they do yoga, they do Pilates, they do sound bath, they do interval training in the gym. You can go on these incredible mountain hikes. You can sign up to go horseback riding. It's all about, it's nourishing your body, mind, and soul, and I love everything about it, which is why the first Best Life retreat in 2026 is happening at Civana.

In April. I have mentioned it here before. I want to just give you a heads up though. We have received a deadline from the hotel to submit our rooming list next week. So if you have been thinking about I need to get away, like this is a year that I'm gonna [00:05:00] actually do something for myself, you have until.

I believe next Monday, Monday the ninth to let me know. To get signed up and there are two pay three pays available, So we've made it very easy for you to say yes to yourself without worrying about how you're gonna pay for it. It's gonna be incredible because not only are you gonna get all of the magic that is at Civana, that only Civana offers, but you're gonna get the entire Best Life retreat experience.

And I, I know I've had a couple of women on the podcast before who have talked about how life changing the retreat was for them. So we're gonna bring all of that curriculum, all of those activities, all of that excitement, everything that makes the best Life Retreat special, and we're gonna plop that down in the middle of the Sonoran Desert for something that I think is going to be maybe the best retreat experience that I have offered to date.

[00:06:00] I, I love Sun Valley.

That will always be the og. We, you know, that's where I started the Best Life retreats. It is where women from all over the country have come and really immersed themself into the Best Life framework, and they have left completely different women than when they showed up that weekend. Not only that, they have gone on to do such amazing things.

So we're gonna take all of that magic of the Best Life retreat and we're going to add to it, the magic of Savanna, and I really just feel like it's going to be something very, very special. But again, we only have another week or so to think about it, so I will drop a clickable link in the show notes if you want to join us.

If you have questions, I will also drop a clickable link in the show notes where we can schedule a call and talk through any questions that you have, any concerns that you have. So that'll all be in the show notes. I don't want to spend [00:07:00] this whole episode talking about coming to Civana. I, I guess I should say, I'm looking at the retreat details.

But before we, before we move off of retreat, I think I should mention that I've been looking at the dates for Best Life retreats in 2026. We're gonna have Civana April 16th through the 19th. And then the Paris retreats, I just scheduled those. They are going to be at the end of October into early November.

Which means no Sun Valley retreat this year. I haven't even announced that to my newsletter list yet. If you were hoping to join us in Sun Valley, this is not the year that it's gonna happen. I just can't be in two places at once. I will be in France at the time when I would typically host the Best Life retreat in Sun Valley.

So. If you were holding out for the fall that you thought that this was gonna be the year [00:08:00] that you were gonna go to a retreat in the fall, either join me in Paris or um, get yourself to Arizona in April, and we will do that.

I, I don't want this episode to all be about retreat information. That's not what I came on here to talk about today. I actually wanna talk about fear. And this has been coming up a lot with the women that I coach and just women that I talk to all the time, which is this whole idea that it's not really an idea, it's a realization that we are almost across the board operating in a fear frequency. And I get it.

I understand why. There is a lot of chaos and noise going on around us, uh, chaos and noise as descriptors actually feel a little light for [00:09:00] what's actually happening. Um, but there's a lot of fear.

So not only have I talked to women who are experiencing this, but let's bring it back to my experience this past weekend when I was at the resort and signed up for an aerial yoga class. Okay. I I, I practice yoga. I have not been practicing yoga as much as I would like to because I just notice that my hips feel better, my lower back feels better

when I am practicing regularly, when I am stretching and moving my body in through those yoga poses, I, I feel better. I haven't been practicing yoga much at all in probably the last year and a half, two years maybe. Ugh. I know it's been a little longer than I would like.

But I sign up for this aerial yoga class at Civana this weekend. I mean, it looks cool.

I, I'm looking at it in the videos. I'm looking at, uh, I, I walked by the [00:10:00] room. I have tried to get in that class before. And it, it's always full. It sells out. Um, but this time I got myself booked in the class and I show up and, um, it was hard. It was physically difficult. I mean, so much of what you do in yoga is the balance poses, which are hard on your feet, right?

And then you add, okay, what I'm gonna do now is take a leg and insert it in this piece of silk. I don't know. I don't think it's probably silk, fabric that is hanging from, it's suspended from the ceiling, and now I've got my grounded leg, which is balancing me. Plus I've got another leg which is suspended in this piece of fabric, which is moving. From a balanced perspective, it, it was really, I, I found it challenging.

Again, I have not [00:11:00] been practicing yoga, so that probably also related to some of the issues I was having. The class was separated into two different sections, so the first was very standard yoga practice using the drapes, using the fabric. And then the second half was the part that was, when I talk about fear that's when my fear really kicked in.

I mean, I walked in, I wasn't at all worried about taking a, an aerial yoga class. It looked really fun and exciting and when we were doing the poses on the floor, I was fine. And then we moved to the second piece, which is really the aerial yoga piece of the aerial yoga class.

And this is where we walk up to the fabric and we put our hands in it and we lock our elbows. We walk to the front of the mat, and then we [00:12:00] let our feet, like we kick our feet up behind us, and then we literally start swinging. So the fabric is underneath our kind of, between your, you're suspended on this piece of fabric between your pubic bone and your belly button so low on the torso. You've got your hands there, but every time you sweep forward and she kept saying, lift your legs up. Lift your legs up. Well, every time you lift your legs up in the back, then it's like a pendulum. The front of your body, your torso, your head gets very close to the floor, or at least it feels that way.

Was I in danger of hitting my head on the floor? I don't know. But here I am swinging and I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna stop and like every, I, I don't know. It was not something that I loved the [00:13:00] feeling of. I do have a fear of heights, which is actually fear of falling.

And I think that swinging through the air with no connection point to the ground, that felt even more fearful for me because in fourth grade, I, I decided I was going to get on the monkey bars and do some twirling with some friends, and they were all gymnasts and I was not. And I did one twirl. My hands came off the monkey bars, my hands landed on the left side of my body, and my head literally went crashing down and I hit my eyebrow onto the pavement.

So here, here I am, probably four, four and a half feet off the ground doing these twirls. My hands come off the bar, my hands go to the left. My head just bangs into the asphalt on the right. [00:14:00] And I am old enough that they didn't have any of those big, squishy black cushiony pads underneath the monkey bars.

They didn't have sand. It was literally asphalt. Our, our playgrounds were asphalt. That's how old I am. So when I hit the ground, I cracked up. Well, I completely concussed myself. I, I blacked out. I stood up. I didn't realize that I had blacked out, but I stood up and I start like wiping my hand over my, my eye because I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, it is raining so much.

Like it's, it's just so wet not actually realizing that there's just blood running down. My gushing down my head, right? I mean, head injuries bleed a lot. Anyway, suffice it to say. I do have a core memory of [00:15:00] what happens or what can happen when my feet leave the ground.

And for me, because I was young when I learned that lesson, I tend to believe that when my feet aren't on the ground, I can't really control things. And that that bubbles, some fear up inside of me.

One of the other things that you can do at Civana is a cold plunge. And some people were very nervous to go in the cold plunge, not me. I'm like, yes, it, it's going to spike my heart rate a little bit. I'm gonna breathe through it. It's no problem because my ass is sitting on a pool. I'm not suspended in the air. Right. So for me, there's this connection between safety, am I safe and can I touch the ground?

Many of you know that I, if you've listened to the podcast for a while, You probably heard that I was certified in human design last year. Human design is the study of [00:16:00] differentiation. It uses quantum physics and the I Ching and ancient wisdom, energy, all sorts of pieces of information to create this body graph that helps you determine your purpose in life, how you show up. It, it's, it's really the most fascinating tool I have ever been introduced to. It's so much different than, say, Strength Finders or DISC analysis or Myers-Briggs because you are using your conditioned mind to answer certain questions.

Human design takes a, a look at your birthday birth place, and time of birth. Because we are all energy, right? So who were you supposed to be when you came into the world, given where the energetic forces were? And again, it uses all sorts of scientifically backed principles. And [00:17:00] I I was a little. I poo-pooed it a little in the beginning, but it kept kind of popping up. I, I kept hearing about it and then I got into it and I, I, it's really fascinating.

My human design coach worked with Bob Proctor, who was an early adopter and an early speaker on this whole personal development movement. I think he was interviewed in The Secret, I don't know. I haven't seen the movie. Um. Anyway, she studied with him, she quotes him, and he had this really beautiful quote that I have been journaling on a little bit. I've been thinking about it. And here is the quote:

faith and fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see. You choose. Amazing. Right? I mean, people who say that they are [00:18:00] faith-based people, they believe in things they cannot see. And people who are fearful also are believing in things they cannot see, right? So I love this idea that energetically, it's exactly the same thing.

It's just we get to say. We get to choose where we're going to put our intention, where we're gonna put our energy, and how we are going to choose to move forward with the information that we can't see. Are we gonna be fearful or are we gonna have faith?

Related to that, in human design, you get a copy of your body graph. And there are three fear centers in the body graph. And the one that, I don't know if I'd say it holds the most fears, but technically that might be wrong. Uh, but for me, I have a very defined survival [00:19:00] instinct center. And if you are not into human design, if this is all new to you, I know that this language is probably not resonating. I just want you to understand the concepts.

Your Survival Instinct Center is where fear can live. It is also that fight or flight that we feel it's in our Survival Instinct Center. I have four fears that live in my defined survival instinct center. They are Gate 48, which is the fear of inadequacy. That gets me thinking like, am I qualified? Do I know enough? Am I bringing enough to the table? So this fear of inadequacy.

I also have Gate 57, which is fear of the future. Now that sound, that might sound kind of weird, but [00:20:00] think about it this way. Fear of the future is what is going to happen, what will actually happen. And it's it. It. It kind of keeps me stuck because I get into that ruminations cycle really easily.

I also have Gate 28, which is the fear of insignificance. It can also be called the fear of death, but it's not death in the way that we usually talk about it, which is, uh, I don't wanna die. I'm afraid to die. Not like that. The fear of insignificance or the fear of death is, have I lived a meaningful life? Like I don't wanna get to the end of my life and feel like this has all been for nothing. I just didn't use all of the tools that I had been given.

And then finally, I have. Gate 18, which is the fear of authority. Not, that I am fearful of people in power. It's not that at all. It's [00:21:00] I have a fear of authority if I feel like somebody might know something more than me. Or if I am teaching a concept and I don't know exactly everything about it, how will I be judged? What will they think of me? Do I actually know enough?

You know, this kind of relates to inadequacy. I mean, you can, you can kind of see how these all relate together. The beautiful thing about human design is, is it brings so much awareness to what is going on in your life and the patterns that might be keeping you stuck from moving forward.

Another thing that I find completely powerful, and I love so much about human design is every gate, so I had 48 inadequacy, 57, future, 28 insignificance, 18 authority those are all my shadow sides. Those are how I would show up in fear. [00:22:00] But if I'm actually operating in a way that is not in fear, Then I trust my intuition and I own my own voice, and I understand that getting into action and sharing my message and, and coming on the podcast and talking with you and, and hosting these masterclasses like I'm starting actually today on the day that this episode drops, we have the first of a five day masterclass for midlife women.

Sharing my voice, getting out into the world. When I move out of fear, then I can actually step into a higher frequency, which is more aligned with the woman that I'm becoming and the woman I was always meant to be. It is really a beautiful practice. I love it so much. I will be talking about human design a lot more as we move forward.

As I am, and I just mentioned the [00:23:00] masterclass, as I am finalizing the slides for each of the five days that I'm going live to teach the masterclass, the topic is why you don't feel like yourself a midlife, even after you fixed your midlife body.

Because so many of us are so focused on all of the physical symptoms and rightfully so. I mean, if we're not feeling good, then we probably don't want to spend time figuring out who we are in this season of life or what it is that we actually want, or what does success mean to us because we just wanna feel better.

But then what happens after you have got your hormones balanced and you are eating in a way that is fueling and supporting your body and you're strength training, and you're getting enough sleep. What happens when you have all of the physical symptoms addressed and you still don't feel like yourself?

That's what we're talking about for five days in the masterclass. It is completely free. You can [00:24:00] join us. You do have to get signed up. I will drop a clickable link in the show notes. If you can't attend live, that's no problem. You will get the replays either on the, you can watch the video or you can listen to the private podcast.

I'm trying to make it as accessible as possible for as many women to hear this message, and I'm, I'm knee deep in finalizing the slides for it.

And it's been so interesting to me that I just went to Civana. I've experienced this aerial yoga class. I am diving more into human design and feeling all of the fears that I have in my design, feeling how other women are feeling right now, and it all is really coming together beautifully in all of this new content that I am creating for the Masterclass.

And it all relates to the I, I feel like there's a through line [00:25:00] here. I have recently started reading, the Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, who is a palliative care nurse. So she was working with hospice patients at the end. And it has me so fired up about not only the opportunity of midlife, but wanting women to embrace it before it's too late.

According to Bronnie, the five Regrets of the Dying. I'm going to read them and then I'm gonna go back through them and we're just gonna touch on 'em briefly. Number one, I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Number two, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Number three, I wished I had the courage to express my feelings. [00:26:00] Number four, I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends. Number five. I wish I'd let myself be happier.

Let's go down through those really quickly because I feel like they tie so much with fear.

Number one, I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected to me. That is all about the shoulds. What should I do? What? Who should I be? How should I show up? What should, what should I wear? How will they judge me? How should I act? All of the shoulds, so much of that is rooted in conditioning that we have been, we have held onto for so long. We learned it really early. But what would've happened in our life if at some point before we're on our deathbed? We would've said, you know what? I'm gonna embrace [00:27:00] the courage to live a life that's true to myself.

That's what we're talking about in the masterclass this week. Get yourself signed up. Meet me there live. Listen to the replays. It will change your life.

Number two, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I think a lot of us feel this way and we understand that most people on their deathbed said, oh, you know, I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

It seems to me that for women, this is not only how hard you work in the office, but how hard you work in your family, how hard you work in your community. This whole idea that we have to be selfless and we have to give and give and be busy doing things for others that we have to work harder. And, and a lot of that is, again, related to conditioning. You know, I learned early on that my worth. [00:28:00] Was I worthy of love that was tied to performance and how I was showing up and how hard I was working. So it's really no surprise that we get to midlife and we have just repeated those behaviors and those habits from all of that conditioning. So if you have the opportunity at some point to say, you know what, I'm gonna step back and I'm gonna stop working so damn hard, this might be an interesting time to do that.

Number three, I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Oh, how many of us have held back? Not saying what it actually is that we want to say. I did it for the first, I'd say, at least year of this podcast because what would happen if I would offend people? Well, I've learned that I am not everybody's cup of tea, and I am okay with that, and you should be [00:29:00] too.

We are not here to be liked by everyone. We are here to be around our people. I'm not saying tone out every opinion that is different than yours or facts that you don't like. I'm not saying that at all, but this whole idea that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. That's bullshit. That has kept us quiet. It has kept us in line. We need to find our voice again in midlife. We need to start using it. We need to figure out who we are now and what's important in this season of life and shout it from the rooftops.

I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. That might mean leaving a job. That might mean changing the rules of your relationship. How you feel is just as important as everyone else feels. [00:30:00] And so often, we feel guilty for wanting to feel a different way. It's as though we believe that if we are honest about our feelings, that we're gonna make other people feel bad. That might happen. But also, don't you deserve to feel good yourself? Don't you deserve to feel good yourself?

Number four. I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends.

It is so interesting to me that this list really doesn't talk about our spouses, our marriages, our children, our work friends, our communities. It talks about our friends. More and more I'm hearing that as midlife women. One of the things we struggle with is [00:31:00] making new friends. What if? What if you just continue to cultivate the relationships that you already have? That when you are thinking about someone, you send them a text immediately. All it has to say is, I'm thinking about you that way. Maybe you don't go three months or six months and then think it's been too long. I lost my chance. I missed my opportunity to reach out to them. You do not do that. If they are still on this earth, you still have time to reach out to them, and repair a relationship if you need to.

But nurture the longstanding relationships and friendships that you have. They will become vitally important, vitally important.

Number five. I wish I'd let myself be happier. How many of us feel like we're playing the roles of the martyr of the family or the scheduler or the [00:32:00] disciplinarian or the rule follower or the good girl?

We've played a lot of those roles, haven't we? And most of the time, not always, but most of the time when we are. Working, showing up in those roles. The ones that oftentimes have been assigned to us by default. We didn't just like raise our hand and say, you know what, in this family, I want to be the scheduler. I wanna take care of every single logistic for every person here.

We didn't do that. We didn't volunteer for it. It was just, we ended up finding ourselves in that position because no one else would do it. And we are high achieving women. So we stood up and we're like, I'll take it. I got this.

The women that I work with, the women that I coach, invariably there are three things that they want more than anything.

Number one is fulfillment. [00:33:00] Number two is satisfaction. Number three is happiness. That is a top regret of the dying is that they didn't allow themselves to be happier. Because oftentimes when we step up into these roles of martyr or scheduler or disciplinarian or rule follower, we lose the part of ourselves that was fun. That was happy, that enjoyed life. Because we are saddled with these burdens of having to be something that, something, someone that might not actually be in alignment with who we are. Does that make sense? We can be happy. We don't have to be the stern one. We don't have to be the bad cop in the good cop, bad cop relationship.

If I was [00:34:00] going to tie all of this up, the thing that strikes me is we're so motivated by fear. We are so saddled by fear. We worry about so much.

We worry about so much. If faith and fear both demand us to believe in something that we cannot see, how can we get closer to operating from faith? And I'm not talking spiritual, religious faith. I'm talking about having the courage to take the next step and realizing that the stairway or the net it's going to be there for us. Having the faith to know that if we start moving in a different direction, we will find the map to get us where we're going.

Let's not be fearful that we're gonna get lost [00:35:00] along the way. Let's put our energy into the faith that we will figure it out, the faith that our life moving forward is this or something better. Let's not approach it from fear. Let's have the faith that it's this or something better.

It is your choice. Are you going to move forward in faith? Are you gonna move forward in fear? I really think it becomes a choice. Once you are aware of the distinction, once you're aware of how you are, what those patterns are, and those behaviors and those habits. If you have been operating from a sense of fear, how can you change that and move forward with a feeling of faith instead.

I, I ran a little long today. I just noticed the time. I just had a lot to say. Um, I hope you join me for the masterclass [00:36:00] this week. There are over 200 women already signed up. I am so excited. Like I said this, I've, I've been blowing my own mind with the content that I'm gonna teach this week. It's either all brand new or the way I'm delivering it is completely brand new. So it's, it's gonna be really impactful. I hope you join us. Click the link in the show notes. It's completely free. You just have to make sure that you are signed up so that you can get the replays if you are unable to join us live.

If this has resonated with you, would you please share it with a friend or two who needs to hear it? I would be so grateful. As you know, I am on a mission here at the School of Midlife to give midlife women everywhere the tools and the information and the strategies and the support to figure out who they are in this season of life so that they can go on and make aligned decisions to make midlife and beyond their very best life.

And [00:37:00] while you're doing that, maybe you can also just send them the link for the masterclass, and then the two of you can show up together and compare notes because I, I always feel like when you were doing something together, it, it feels like you're more supported.

Thank you so much for being here today. I will see you right back here next week when the School of Midlife is back in session.

 Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of easy ways for you to do that first. And most importantly, if you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five-star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I [00:38:00] personally read each and every one of your reviews. 

So if you take a minute and say some nice things about the podcast, well, that's just good karma. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you right back here. Next week when the School of Midlife is back in session until then take good care.