180. Dream Job, Perfect Life...and Still Feeling Like Something Was Missing. Here's What She Did About It | Conversation with Hillary Dater

Hillary Dater came to a BEST LIFE Retreat a few years ago -- not because she was in crisis, but because her work brought her there. She had what looked like everything: a dream job in the nonprofit sector, family, community, a life that rang all the bells.

And still, something wasn't quite right. She just hadn't stopped long enough to notice.

What followed the retreat was a series of genuinely bold moves: a move to the mountains, leaving a career she'd spent decades building to pursue something that actually lit her up, a fly fishing trip to Argentina with her son -- her first international travel in thirty years -- and a year spent intentionally, deliberately, scheduling fun back into her life.

In this conversation, Hillary and Laurie talk about what it actually looks like to stop living on the sidelines of your own life...even when the life you're living is already pretty good. They talk about joy as something that has to be practiced, not assumed. About asking for help as a skill. About the moment Hillary's father, in hospice, looked at her and said: "I've got all the time. I've got the money to do anything I want. And I don't have my health. Don't make that mistake."

This episode is proof that you don't have to be in crisis to deserve change. You just have to decide the life on the other side of the investment is worth more than the comfort of staying put.

What we cover

• How Hillary came to the BEST LIFE Retreat for work -- not because anything was wrong in her life -- and what happened after she left
• The light fixture epiphany: the moment she realized she couldn't answer the question "what do you like?" and what that revealed about how far she'd drifted from herself
• Why being in a room of women you barely know can be more liberating than being with your closest friends
• The "scared-cited" feeling: what happens when you share a bold idea with the wrong people first...and what happens when you share it with the right ones
• How Hillary's dad's final words from hospice changed everything: "I've got all the time and the money, and I don't have my health. Don't make that mistake."
• The Hardy reel, the screaming line, the fish she stopped counting, and the moment she realized she hadn't known what fun felt like in decades
• Moving to the mountains: the guilt, the fear, the grief...and what she found on the other side (her daughter making her breakfast in pajamas)
• Argentina: fly fishing with her son, thirty years without international travel, and what happens when you know the what and trust the universe with the how
• The year she color-coded her calendar to schedule fun — and how 2026 became the year fun stopped being scheduled and started being just who she is
• Asking for help as a skill: how fly fishing taught her to say "I don't know this, but I want to"...and trust that willing teachers would show up
• The belief she'd been carrying that she was difficult and unpleasant to be around — and what the retreat helped her see instead
• What it means to leave a legacy while you're still here — and why watching mom live her best life is one of the greatest gifts she can give her children
• The long arm quilting machine, the 55th birthday sand dunes, the riding lawnmower coveralls...and what it means to finally say yes to yourself

Quotable moments

"I'm in a great place. I was in a great place, but I'm in an even better place now — and I feel more authentically myself than I ever have in my entire life."

"When you're all there for the same purpose, even if everyone's path is different — it just becomes a game changer."

"When you've got a dream and you're aligned with it and you're leaning into it, the path opens up for you."

"I just had to get really comfortable with being bad, asking a lot of questions, asking for help...none of those things are like me."

"I've got all the time. I've got the money to do anything I want. And I don't have my health. Don't make that mistake." — Hillary's father, from hospice

"This is fun. This is what fun feels like." — the moment on the river that changed everything

"The idea of not taking the risk and always wondering, if I had just let my life pass me by, if I had just remained sitting on the sidelines...that was way more scary than the idea of doing it."

"Don't let life put you back on your heels. Lean into it." — Hillary's grandfather

"Get in the game. It's never too late to make a change. It's never too late to be your authentic self."

"Every time that I've leaned into something, even if it felt a little scary or overly indulgent, the reward and the return on that investment has just paid off in spades."

"Every time I see you, I'm living my best life — and I have you to thank for it."

Resources + links mentioned

• Die With Zero by Bill Perkins — referenced in conversation
• The BEST LIFE Retreat 
• Book a 15-minute call with Laurie

If this episode moved you, share it with the woman in your life who has a pretty good life — and deserves to know it can be even better. Subscribe, leave a five-star review, and know that Laurie reads every single one.

📩 JOIN MY MAILING LIST
https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/newsletter

👉 CONNECT WITH LAURIE:
📩  Email Laurie

💻 Website

On Instagram

On LinkedIn

Work with Laurie

Transcript

Real quick, before we get into today's episode, I wanna talk to you about the Best Life Mastermind. 

For years, the coaching industry has given high-achieving women a choice, invest in your career or invest in your life, executive coaching or life coaching, leadership at work or clarity at home, as if our lives were separated into two different parts.

Here's what nobody has said out loud. You cannot separate the leader from the life she's living. If she's burned out at home, she's gonna be burned out at work. If she doesn't know what she wants from her life, then she doesn't fully know what she wants from her career either.

The Best Life Mastermind is built on a different premises, personal leadership development for the whole woman. Because the clearest, most fulfilled, most purposeful version of you, she shows up everywhere: at work, at home, in every room you walk into.

 I want to invite you to join me as a [00:01:00] founding member in the Best Life Mastermind. Here's what's included. Two in-person luxury retreats at award-winning destinations, Sun Valley, Idaho in September and the incredible Civana Wellness Resort & Spa in Arizona in February.

All accommodations, meals, and spa appointments will be included. Monthly personal leadership coaching calls and an intimate private community of like-minded women doing this work together, hosted off of social media and away from the noise. 

Nine months, 10 women, two in-person retreats, monthly coaching calls, everything included except your travel. 

Applications open right now. Click the link in the show notes . Now, let's get into today's episode

Speaker: I wanna tell you a little bit about how today's guest came into my life, because I think it says everything about this conversation before we even get started. lary Dater came to one of my Best Life retreats a few years ago, [00:02:00] not because she was in crisis, not because her life was falling apart.

Actually, she came partly for work. She was doing some research for a project and wanted to go through the process firsthand. Here's what's important about that. Hillary already had a great life. She had a career she loved, family, community.

By every external measure, everything was right in her life. And then she went through the retreat, and then her life changed anyway. Not because it was broken, but because she finally gave herself permission to ask what was possible for her in this season of life on her own terms.

And what she discovered was that the life she'd been imagining quietly in the background was actually available to her. She just had to stop waiting for someone to give her permission to go after it.

In the time since I met Hillary, she has made some genuinely bold moves. She moved to the mountains. She left her dream job and a career she'd spent decades building to pursue something that truly lit [00:03:00] her up. She's taken up fly fishing. She bought a piece of equipment she'd always wanted and almost always talked herself out of because it felt indulgent. She stopped living on the sidelines of her own life, and she got in the game.

Every single time I see her, she says the same thing.

"Laurie, I'm living my best life." Every single time.

Today's conversation is for any woman who has a pretty good life and has been telling herself that's enough, that wanting more would be ungrateful, that the timing isn't right, that she'll think about what's next for her after everyone else is taken care of.

This is for the woman who has been warming the bench, waiting for her turn, when the whole time she had every right to get off the sidelines and get into the game.

Hillary is proof that you don't have to blow up your life to change it. You don't have to be in crisis to deserve this kind of investment in yourself.

You just have to decide that what's on the other side of the investment is worth more than the comfort of staying on the sideline. [00:04:00] I think you're going to love her as much as I do.

Please enjoy this conversation with Hil 

Laurie Reynoldson: Hi, Hillary. I am so excited to have you on the podcast. This is a conversation I have wanted to have for a while now because I am just so excited about who you are and what you are doing in this season of life. But before we get in, I don't wanna get too far ahead here. I don't wanna jump the gun too much.

Will you just introduce yourself quickly and tell the listeners who you are and, and then we'll, we're gonna just dive into it

Hillary Dater: All right, let's just dive in. So first, Laurie, I just wanna say thank you so much for having me on. I'm really excited to be here. My name is Hillary Dater, and, um, I have spent a long time in the nonprofit sector doing fundraising and working with different nonprofit organizations and groups.

And about a year ago, I made some really big changes in my [00:05:00] life, and I'm excited to be here and talking about those with you today.

Laurie Reynoldson: If you are not watching the video, you don't have the opportunity to see Hillary's just glowing presence. I wanna go back though. I met Hillary, I think we met, was it ... I should've looked this up, four years ago maybe at the Best Life Retreat?

Hillary Dater: yeah, it might have been three... I think it was three May. I don't, I'm not sure. 20, maybe it was 2023. I think it might've been

Laurie Reynoldson: It was three or four years ago. What Hillary has done in her life since it... Like, I, of course I would recognize you because I know who you are, but you just have a completely, you are showing up in a different, much different way. Like, you have that I love my life kind of glow. Um, I feel like a lot of times when I talk with women, they get to this [00:06:00] point where they're like, "Well, I feel like I have to do something different with my life, 'cause I need to go in a different direction."

I don't know that that's how you were. It was just like, yeah, I'm living a great life, but then there were different opportunities and, and a different way that you decided to move forward in life. Can you take us back to three years ago, I guess, we'll call it three, and just-

Hillary Dater: Yeah, it's funny, I was thinking about that this morning, bec- kind of reflecting back on how long you and I have known each other and the different things that we've gone through and stuff like that, or that I've gone through because of the catalyst of your work and things like that. And I remember when I came to your Best Life Retreat, I actually, um, was there because I was doing some research for a project at my work, with some work that I was doing at the time.

Part of the idea was to go through the process , and then you and I had the opportunity to have [00:07:00] conversations after that. But to be honest, Laurie, like, I remember kind of being like, I had gone through a really difficult period in my life. My dad had passed away, and it had been really challenging for me on a bunch of different levels.

And I had been going to weekly therapy for, like, two years before the Best Life Retreat and doing, like, acupuncture and doing... Like, I was doing all the things, right? And I remember, um, when I was asked to attend the retreat, I was like, "Well, this looks really interesting. This looks really exciting. Okay, this is gonna be good.

But honestly, like, I've been doing so much therapy. Like, is there more that I could be looking at in my life? I don't know." And I remember I went to your retreat and was open to everything, was excited about what you were sharing. Uh, but it also s- with the process that you use, it forced me to look at some things that maybe I wasn't really taking a very good look at in my life.

And I was [00:08:00] doing the like, "Everything's fine, and I'm fortunate. I've got this, my dream job, and I've got great kids and family," and all these things. Like, everyth- right? I'm ringing all the bells like it's perfect, everything's great. But, um, but through that process, and I think also through that process of being in a group, a collective group with other women and hearing their stories and some of their struggles also helped me think a little bit more about what were the things in my life that maybe I wasn't really taking a close look at that I should have.

Um, so yeah, that's kind of a little bit of the backstory about coming into the Best Life Retreat. And then I left, and it was just like things just started happening for me. I started looking closely at things and yeah, my life has done in some ways maybe a 180, but maybe, I don't know, a 360 instead.

I'm not sure exactly. Like, I'm in this great place. I was in a great place, but I'm in an even better place now and feel more authentically [00:09:00] myself than I ever have in my entire life

Laurie Reynoldson: Uh, that gives me the chills. I love hearing that you feel more authentically like yourself than you ever have before. I also love that every time I see Hillary, she's like, "I'm living my best life." I'm not gonna say you're the poster child for what living your best life can look and feel like, but man, you're definitely one of the top, um, uh, people.

 every time I see you, you just have this glow about you, and y- there's a lightness about you that... I mean, you have always been a wonderfully kind and charming person, but there's just, like, it, it's exponentially different now the way you show up, and I couldn't love it more

Hillary Dater: Oh, thanks, Laurie. Yeah. Well, I feel it, and people notice it. Um, if I haven't seen people for a while, they, they will say something to me. "You look great. You look so rested. You look tan. You look really happy." And, and I'm all [00:10:00] those things. I don't know how tan I am, but, you know.

Laurie Reynoldson: You look kinda tan. Yeah, you definitely have the I've been out fishing, um, uh, goggle line there.

Hillary Dater: There we go

Laurie Reynoldson: you mentioned that there was something different about talking with other women, like being in community with other women at the retreat, and I think that that is such a huge differentiator between the work we do and what other groups do.

Because would you agree that there's something different about going away, being in community with women who are kinda going through similar issues, struggles, have similar questions? It's different than when you go out to, say, have drinks with your friends. Would you agree with that?

Hillary Dater: Oh yeah, absolutely. Definitely some of the projects that I've worked on in the past, um, have been about building community through a variety of different groups, right? And I just have noticed time and time again, [00:11:00] when you can pull people out of that every day, even if it's for, you know, a couple nights, there's something that happens when you step out of, out of your place and go to a third-party location, so to speak, and are there with other people.

You're all there for the same reason. You're all willing participants, and there's something about when you're all there for the same purpose, even if everyone's path is different, you're all looking towards that common goal. It just becomes a game changer, and I think it just opens up possibilities for you to either view yourself, view others, view it collectively as a group, just different than what you might do if you were, let's say, in one-on-one therapy or going out for drinks or maybe you've got a book club or something.

No matter how close and tight those relationships are, there's almost something great about stepping out into that with people [00:12:00] that maybe you don't know or maybe you barely know, because I think it also opens the opportunity for you to really think about who you are as a person or who you want to be without any of those roles that we might play in our book clubs or with our best friends or any of that type of stuff.

Laurie Reynoldson: Yeah, the roles and the identity and how people know us in our everyday life can be a limiter almost to walking in the direction of our goals or to maybe deciding we wanna show up differently. I feel like that there's something really validating about being in a group of women where one woman will say, "This is kinda what I'm going through.

This is what I'm thinking about," and just the recognition and the knowing and kind of the head nodding where other women in the group are like, " Oh my God, I, I feel that way too," or, "I've experienced something very similar." And [00:13:00] then there's almost this recognition of, wow, I'm not alone. I, I, you know, I thought it was just me.

It... Social media, everything around me tells me that, well, maybe if I had a better time organization system, or maybe if I just worked harder, I would figure this out. But I feel like it's almost universal that women are, are having these questions and going through these same feelings and thoughts and, but it feels kinda lonely a lot of times.

Hillary Dater: Yeah, I agree. And, you know, midlife is a, is a huge, um, time period of transition for so many of us for so many different reasons, right? Like, you know, it maybe it's a death of a parent is making you look differently at things. Your kids are going off to college. Your kids are r- really becoming independent adults at this point.

Um, you're kind of maybe thinking about, you know, what does the last decade of my career look like? Um, you know, there are all these different inflection and transition points that I think, you know, [00:14:00] in midlife we're all going through. And I think there's something too about, um, about being in a group, again, of women who are in that same transition period and like curious about what is next for them, that, um, I think there's something actually great about not being in that group with people that you know, because I do think it gives you the freedom to actually explore and put out on the table the things that you really want without being, um, maybe afraid of being judged by, by your close friends.

It'll gives you time to get comfortable with some of these ideas or new things that you wanna do or try, um, and get that support from that group, right? Because they're all there right alongside you. They're all trying to figure out something else new too. And so it ends up becoming this great catalyst of support, even if maybe you don't know each other all that well, and you can throw that idea out there [00:15:00] and you can say, you know, "By gosh, I wanna go live in the mountains," which is what I did.

I decided that I wanted to, um, go back to small town living, mountain living, and that was kind of scary, you know. Uh, but to put it out there with a group of women who were like, " Heck yeah, go do that. Like, why wouldn't you do that?" And it was like, "Oh, okay. Like, maybe I can do this," you know? And then I got comfortable with the idea, and then could share that out with my family and friends, and found that they were all incredibly supportive of me doing this.

Laurie Reynoldson: It is, I love how you put that, that, you know, it gives you this freedom to explore because I think so often we get an idea that we're excited about and w- uh, kind of, um, scared-cited, right? Where you're sort of scared, but you're also very excited, and then you start asking people around you, like, "What i- what do you think about this?"

Because you kind of want their approval, and you sort of want some [00:16:00] validation, and if they rain on your parade or they kind of throw water on it, you're like, "Oh, okay. Maybe that's not for me." But it's a totally different feeling when you're around a group of women who are looking, you know, trying to figure out, "Well, what is next for me?"

And I think you said that beautifully.

Hillary Dater: Yeah. Oh, thanks. Well, I think there's something like I'm a recovering people pleaser, and, um, so it's, yeah. I think that's a common trait for a lot of midlife women. Um, and so I think there was something where I spent a lot of time really quietly thinking about the decision also, because I felt like I needed to get, like really personally convicted about it so that I could really pursue what I felt passionate about and what felt right for me.

And I think when you're going through big changes and you wanna make some different moves in your life, you know, when you're ready for those moves and you have a group of women, um, [00:17:00] that wanna support you in those moves, you know, making those moves can feel scary to other people around you for a whole bunch of different reasons.

And they can often bring their own personal fears or their maybe, um, a lack of, uh, risk tolerance and things like that, and ultimately try to talk you out of the idea. And so I think again, it's great to have this space where you're being fully supported and, and people are helping you, you know, vet different ideas and check out everything.

I'm not saying just willy-nilly throw everything to the wind and like, you know, whatever. But, um, but it gives you that space to do that, and then you can go out with the people that you know and love and be like, "Hey, I'm making this great thing and I'm feeling really good about it, and this is what I'm doing and moving forward."

And if they don't like it, then, you know, that's kind of on them and not so much on you.

Laurie Reynoldson: you put that beautifully, which is oftentimes other people are looking at our [00:18:00] choices or our decisions with their filter on, and they can't imagine, "Why would you move to the mountains? That's ridiculous. That doesn't seem like anything I would wanna do." And it's like, "Well, cool. You don't have to do it.

That's what I'm gonna do, and I want you to be supportive of it."

Hillary Dater: Yeah, exactly

Laurie Reynoldson: Let's go back a couple of years. Okay, so because you, now you're living in the mountains. Um, you said when you, when we first met, you were working your dream job. Um, what changed?

Hillary Dater: Oh, um, boy, that's a, that's a,

Laurie Reynoldson: That might be a loaded question

Hillary Dater: That's okay. We'll t- we'll try. I'm-- you know me, I can be a little verbose. You 

Laurie Reynoldson: take as much time as you need

Hillary Dater: right. Uh, I had gone through, like I had mentioned, my dad had passed away and, that was a really difficult time, and I ended up being in a position where I, I had to, um, settle my dad's [00:19:00] estate, and I didn't realize that I had that role, and I feel very, privileged and honored that he trusted me to do that.

But it's also a really difficult role because you've got lots of family members involved, and I had a lot of people who really wanted to be super supportive and help me with that. But s- often I found myself kind of lost in that process, again, trying to make everybody else happy, trying to, you know, make everything okay for everybody else.

And some of the people I think in my life that probably should have supported me the most, like were not supportive at all, and that was exceedingly difficult. And yeah. Yeah

Laurie Reynoldson: And disappointing too, isn't it? I mean, I- having h- also walked through this, um, process of, of settling an estate, it's kind of a pressure cooker. I mean, I feel like when people put you in that position, they feel like you should be honored. And yes, of, of course, we, we definitely want to [00:20:00] honor our parents in that way.

But, um, it's a lot of work. And it's a, there's a lot of emotion tied up into it that it can be... Like, the people that you think are going to support you aren't necessarily the ones that tend to show up and be supportive, which is bananas. Sorry to d- 'cause, but you, you keep going.

Hillary Dater: And 

Laurie Reynoldson: I see you, though. I understand what you're

Hillary Dater: yeah. And again, I think a lot of people probably, you know, listening to your podcast, watching it, have been through similar experiences. And for me, again, I definitely had some key people who were very supportive through that process, but I found myself, I think, feeling really alone, like alone.

I think I had some deep feelings of feeling really alone at the end of the day through that whole process. And, and that was probably about around the time, kind of my mindset when I came into the retreat. And again, I f- I felt like I've got [00:21:00] this great job, and I had recently bought a home, and, you know, there were all these things that seemed to be going, going forward.

And, you know, it's kind of funny now that I'm mentioning that. There was another thing that was happening around that same time. So I was working on remodeling a couple things in the house, and I have a lovely friend, and she's an amazing designer, and I asked her for some help. And I was trying to pick out some light fixtures or something, I can't remember.

And I think I had said to her, "Hey, well, why don't you tell me what kind of light fixtures you think I should put in the house?" And she said, "Well, what do you like?" And I think I replied with, "Well, what should I have?" And she was like, "No, no. Like, what do you like?"

And long story short, I realized through this process, she ended up creating this huge epiphany for me that it was like I also had no idea what I even liked anymore. Like, I couldn't even articulate, you know, what I wanted in a light fixture for [00:22:00] the entryway. So I started to realize that I was, like, really out of touch with myself. And

Laurie Reynoldson: you want for a light, and then you come to the retreat and I'm, I ask you what you want. And so you're getting it from all sides.

Hillary Dater: know. but yeah, I think there was something about that, and then coming to the retreat, and it was like looking at like what are the roles that I've been playing? You know, what are the things that I really want? What are, you know, things that I've always wanted to do but haven't done?

And, you know, all the great questions and everything that, that you led us through. And it-- when I really got quiet with myself and tried to think about like what it was that I actually wanted, I realized that there were a lot of areas in my life where, um, where I just felt like out of sync, and I, and I didn't even know it.

I didn't even really know it until I really, until I started looking at the things. And that was when I think it really helped me to start look at [00:23:00] trying to align my life. Like something silly is I really like Christmas. I mean, that's not silly. I really like Christmas, and I've always wanted like a really nice Christmas outfit, you know, something with like plaid and, you know, maybe some sequins or something.

And for decades, I've never allowed myself to like buy a cute sparkly Christmas outfit. And, um, that was something that I wrote down, was like, " I wanna buy myself a Christmas outfit," you know, just something that's just for that holiday. And then, and then there were bigger things too, like I wanted to go fishing.

I love to fly-fish, and, um, I wanted to go, and that was something else that I'd given up for years and years and years, decades again. And I decided that I wanted to go to Argentina and go fly-fishing. And I think that sort of leads me into something else if, if it's okay if I just keep,

Laurie Reynoldson: Please.

Hillary Dater: keep going.

I think that I started to realize too, like the, like the thing about going fly fishing in [00:24:00] Argentina. I went to a fly fishing film festival, and I saw this great movie about this lady, and she had lost her partner to cancer, and she had come through cancer, and she had like these two big brown braids, and she was kinda older,

and she went out and somewhat she had been fishing all over the world, but she had never been to Argentina, and she got invited to go on this trip, and she was like, "Yeah, let's do it." And I'm watching her, and she's like fishing and laughing, and she's got a cigar in her mouth and, you know, all the things.

And I just remember watching that movie, and that was probably, you know, that would've been like three years ago or something. And I just remember I had this flash, and it was like, "That. I wanna do that." And so that's how it got on my radar. And again, as I was thinking about things, 2025 for me was a big year.

I promised myself that I was going to listen to my intuition. I, I really have denied myself listening to my intuition, 'cause I've been so busy people-pleasing. [00:25:00] So I really have tried to spend time listening to when that voice pops up that says, "That," I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pay attention to that."

So my son and I went, we went fly fishing in Argentina in, um, February of 2025, and I hadn't traveled out of the country for 30 years. Like, I don't speak any language other than English. I'm traveling with my son, who is an adult, but still, when you're the parent, you feel responsible for "Oh, I've gotta manage all the things."

And you know, Laurie, I found along the way there were all these wonderful people who wanted to help me make that dream come true. And there were wonderful people who helped when I was really open about what I, was making me really nervous, th- like about the travel or something. And then all these people were like, "Oh, well, we can take care of that for you, and we can help you with this, and we'll get that question answered for you."

And, um, it was a really powerful experience on a lot of levels, [00:26:00] but one of the things where like, you know, when you've got a dream and you're aligned with it and you're leaning into it, like the path opens up for you, you know? And, um, I remember someone on one of your other podcasts, she said something along the lines of, "You just need to know the what, and the universe will help you with the how."

Laurie Reynoldson: Yes

Hillary Dater: um, that really resonated with me. I was like, "Yeah, that, that really does happen."

Laurie Reynoldson: I love it so much. I am 100% convinced that other women watching you navigate the last couple of years of your life, when they look at you and they see, you know, you left your dream job to pursue this dream life that maybe 20 or 30-year-old Hillary had never envisioned for herself, but now she gets to midlife and she gets more aligned with who she is, and she's trusting her intuition.

When they see you [00:27:00] doing what you are doing now, they have the exact same feeling as you watching that fly fisher woman with the, the braids and the cigar and going to Argentina. They're like, "That's what I want." Because you doing what you really want in life, you living your best life, you are then showing other women what is possible.

And again, it's not that you didn't have a great life before, but man, you have an exceptional life now.

Hillary Dater: Yeah. Thank you. I feel that. And, you know, when I made the decision to, to make the move to the mountains, I had a lot of, you know, because my kids and my mom and I, we all lived in the same, in the same town. And, and so it was, it, that was a b- that was a really hard decision to think about kind of moving away from my kids, moving away from my mom, and, you know, how was I going to stay connected?

How [00:28:00] was I going to... Because family is really important to me, so, and being emotionally available and supportive to my kids and my mom is really important to me. And there were all these things I was really, like, a-afraid of. I had guilt. I had a lot of fear. I had some grieving. I had, you know, c- and all that stuff.

And you know what? They've all been super supportive. And, um, and I, and I found, like, it's almost even better. Like, there's something really fun about, as an adult, um, going, when I go and visit my daughter and, and my son and my mom, but I stay with my daughter, and it's something really fun as an adult parent to then go and stay at your child's home, and then, like, she's making me breakfast in the morning, and we're in our pajamas at her house talking about things.

And so there ended up being all these new wonderful things that were happening too, you know? And I was like, "Oh, this is really cool. This is better than I thought." You know?

Laurie Reynoldson: It's interesting when you open yourself up [00:29:00] to possibility and curiosity and what else could I dare to say that I want, and really lean into who you wanna be and what matters most in this season of life, the universe does have a way of just delivering it. You know, God, source, universe, whatever you believe in.

I, you mentioned it before, I am a firm believer that if you figure out what you want and you, whether you say it out loud or you write it in your Morning 5-10-5 every day, once you put it out into the universe, the universe is gonna figure out how to make that happen for you. The fact that you have this goal or this dream or this desire on your heart doesn't m- it's not there just because.

That's actually, if you follow it, that is pointing you in the direction that oftentimes makes you feel the most like yourself.

Hillary Dater: Exactly. And along with [00:30:00] all of that, I think that it has helped me be better, a better m- mother to my children in terms of really listening to their dream, helping them, like, what is it that you wanna do? What makes you feel fulfilled? How can I support you in that dream? Instead of like, "Okay, you've gotta get the nine-to-five with the health insurance and the 401k," and not that we don't need those things, but it's like...

And I think for my kids to see me so authentically happy, I think that that, I hope, is one of the best legacies that I could leave them, is like to follow their dreams and to know, um, how much I support them in finding their best life, and to see the joy that can come when you are being authentic and fully aligned.

Uh, I hope that that is something that will stick with them and resonate with them, you know, when I'm [00:31:00] not around, you know, and they'll remember that.

Laurie Reynoldson: You got there before I did, but that's exactly what I was thinking was what a beautiful legacy that you're living for your kids. I mean, I- so oftentimes we focus on legacy as what, what people say about us after we're gone without this realization that there is some foundational work that has to happen while we're here and how we live our life that creates this legacy when we're gone.

And

Hillary Dater: Mm-hmm.

Laurie Reynoldson: what a, an incredible testament to you, Hillary, as a mother to say, " I've had a great life. I am living a great life, and now it's even better than I expected it could be." And your kids are watching that and understanding that, yeah, I mean, a, a corporate job where you do have a retirement and a steady income, that is great.

It does give you some freedom to then go explore. But look at mom and look at how she's showing up [00:32:00] now. I mean-

Hillary Dater: Yeah. And how can we find ways to incorporate happiness and joy in our daily life? What are those things you know, even if we're in maybe a job that isn't our favorite job or some of those things, it's like, okay, but who am I? What is the that in my life, and how can I go about pursuing that, um,

I mean, um, e- even while you're doing your daily life potentially. And I'm thinking that more about, you know, with my kids who are obviously younger than I am, but you know, with young people. It's like, how do you encourage them to, to, to keep an element of always pursuing their passions even while maybe they're checking some boxes that they need to in order to sustain themselves as independent adults?

So yeah. I don't know.

Laurie Reynoldson: uh, and I wonder if it's a generational thing. I mean, what do you think about this? That Gen Xers, we are hard-charging, hardworking box [00:33:00] checkers, people pleasers, you know, the first latchkey kids. I mean, we were responsible adults by the time we got to fifth grade, right? Um, and I almost feel like, well, one, the generations that are coming up behind us, I don't feel like they are as willing to trade their time for money as we were.

But I think also it has a great deal with the way that our generation raised our kids

Hillary Dater: Oh, yeah.

Laurie Reynoldson: to understand that there's more out there than what is your job title and how many zeros are on your paycheck.

Hillary Dater: You know, that's, that's really interesting. I'm really glad you brought that up because I was, I was thinking about this a little bit too also just before you and I started talking. And I feel like there was also this, this thing that was happening for me kinda during, during all of this, right?

And I think kind of right before I really made the decision to like [00:34:00] leave my job and, and move to the mountains and do all that. I, I realized somewhere along the way that like I hadn't really had a lot of fun in my life Like

Laurie Reynoldson: Say more about that

Hillary Dater: yeah, like I had, you know, had great vacations with my kids and, you know, did...

I don't know, I'm like a crafty person. I like to sew and needlepoint and do stuff like that. So, you know, I've done fun craft projects and done little weekends away with girlfriends and all that kind of stuff. But like when it came down to things that like really made me laugh or really made me feel like that bubbly, bright joy inside, like I didn't have a lot of that.

And I was thinking about that. I was thinking about like when, again, as a Gen X-er, I mean, I... The one phrase that comes to mind all the time is like, "Life sucks and then you die." And I think I sort of have, or at least that was, I don't know, maybe other people have different mantras. That's what

Laurie Reynoldson: Nope, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Hillary Dater: But,

Laurie Reynoldson: Yep

Hillary Dater: um, [00:35:00] and I think that somewhere down deep, I had some kind of belief that maybe like life was something to be endured, and that joy was like a luxury that like if you have joy in your life, you're just, you're like, you're not doing it right then, which is a weird thing to think. And as I started to...

I, I remember actually, this was like the first inkling of where I remember really feeling joy. So I had a coworker whose wife really liked to fish. I was trying to get back into fly fishing. I didn't really have anyone to go with, and he was like, "Hey, you wanna fish? My wife likes to fish. The two of you should go fishing."

And he had given her a certificate for a guided trip or something around the Boise area, and he was like, "Maybe you guys should go and do that." She and I went to the Fly Fishing Film Festival. This was the year after, I think, the Argentina lady.

And just so we could like visit, and it was like, "Okay," [00:36:00] like, "you're cool. Let's go fishing." And we went, and w- and we went with this guide, and I had, um, a, a rod that was from my grandfather, a reel that was from my grandfather that had been passed on to my dad. My dad had passed away maybe like a year prior to this fishing trip.

And we went out, literally like every third cast, we were catching fish, which is pretty unusual in the world of fishing. And the reel I had, it's called the Hardy Reel, and because it's so old, it makes a lot of noise. So if a fish gets your fly and then it runs, it starts running with your line, and then you're trying to bring it back in, and this Hardy Reel is like, "Ree, ree."

It makes all this noise. And we're catching these f- we caught so many fish, we stopped counting. I mean, like, we stopped taking photos. The reel was screaming, and I was just laughing hysterically. Every time I caught a fish, I just started laughing hysterically. And it was like, I think, uh, the-- [00:37:00] like, a real moment for me where I was like, "This is what fun...

This is fun. This is what fun feels like." And I think that sort of sparked in me this desire to be like, "I think I could use more fun in my life," and then started exploring different things that I liked. And, you know, I, I started, like, like, thinking about what are different things that I'd like to do. I love being in the outdoors.

I haven't s- hardly spent any time in the outdoors in the last two, three decades or whatever. And, um, I started thinking there were all these things that I had, like, never done. And, you know, you live in Idaho. Like, we've so many outdoor opportunities. I mean, I hadn't even been snowshoeing for crying out loud, like the most simple entry-level thing. And I-- So I've been fortunate in that I've been able to try over the last, like, year, year and a half, I've been really focused on, like, trying new things and finding people who will help take me [00:38:00] snowmobiling and take me to do these new things and feeling okay about being bad at things. I, I don't like to be bad at things, Laurie. I like to get everything right the first time.

Laurie Reynoldson: I don't think anybody does. It's, it's uncomfortable. We, we like to be really good out of the gate.

Hillary Dater: And so I, I just had to get really comfortable with, like, being bad, asking a lot of questions, asking for help. None of those things are like me. I like to be buttoned up, prepared for everything, type A, four different lists, 84 snacks, like, you know, all the things. And it has just opened up so much joy and happiness.

My kids, uh, came to visit me for my 55th birthday as a surprise, and we went to these sand dunes. I've never been in a UTV. I've never been on a sand dune before. It was slightly terrifying for me, but also I had a ton of fun, you know? I don't know if I'll do it again, but I'm so glad I did [00:39:00] it, you know, the first time.

Laurie Reynoldson: Feel a little like for many of us we've lost the plot, which is it's supposed to be fun. Like, we are supposed to be able to enjoy our lives. Otherwise, what is the point of working and saving money and just all the work?

Hillary Dater: Exactly

Laurie Reynoldson: g- to give it to our kids? Sure. I mean, w- you and I have both read Die With Zero, so we, we're, we totally know.

But at the same time, it's like we should be having some joy and fulfillment and excitement and fun in life. It shouldn't all be just drudgery and work.

Hillary Dater: Yeah, exactly. I remember when my dad was, was on hospice and before he passed away, and I was very fortunate in that, um, I was given a lot of flexibility through my work to be able to work from his home and, and help with some of those things and just be present for that process.

And, [00:40:00] um, I, I really observed that my dad spent a lot of time, um, because he wasn't able to leave the home anymore or anything like that, and we spent a lot of time talking about mem-memories, and he shared a lot of memories, and it became pretty clear when, when was some of the, like, the memories that he talked about a lot more, um, versus things that he didn't talk about a whole lot.

And that started to get me thinking about, like, what are the memories that I have with my kids? You know, when, when, when we're at a point where maybe we're not doing things or I'm not doing things, like, what are the stories that we're gonna tell? What are the things that we're gonna laugh about? What are the things we're gonna wanna go back and look at the pictures?

And, and that got me thinking about stuff. And then, you know, there-- when people are on hospice, often there can be just a lot of people in and out and people around all the time, which is, which is lovely to have so many people caring for and about a parent or a person in your life. But my dad and [00:41:00] I didn't always have a lot of time alone together.

And, and one morning, uh, he-- this was at a point when he could no longer get out of bed, and he, and he looked at me and he said, "You know, this just really pisses me off." And I wasn't quite sure what he was talking about, so I said, "Well, do you wanna say more about that, Dad?" And he said, "I've got all the time.

I've got the money to do anything I want, and I don't have my health."

Laurie Reynoldson: Oh.

Hillary Dater: "Don't make that mistake." My dad had traveled and done all kinds of things and has a lovely wife and, you know, had all of these things. But it, again, I think that kind of combined with like this memory thing combined with like, gosh, I, you know, I haven't had a lot of joy.

It just, I think all those things started to snowball for me that just also helped be a catalyst of like, like these are the important things in life and what am I doing and what am I doing about it and, and, and am I gonna look, [00:42:00] look back? And I think that was part of the, this move and taking this leap and, you know, doing, uh, independent nonprofit consulting and, you know, all of that is very scary.

But the idea of not doing it was way more scary than the idea of doing it and then being like, you know, I don't like living in the mountains or nobody wants to hire me as a consultant or, you know, what-whatever all those fears were like. The idea of not taking the risk and always wondering if I had just let my life pass me by, if I had just remained sitting on the sidelines.

I think that was another theme that really popped up for me when I started thinking about all the things that I haven't done was like this idea of like I spent a lot of my life, again, doing wonderful things and all this stuff, but in other ways just sitting on the sidelines. And, um, and I [00:43:00] think that was part of, you know, Laurie, on one of your, I don't know, you have a, a, a post or a photo or something where you have this great big calendar on the wall you've got like a big calendar and you do sticky

Laurie Reynoldson: I do.

Hillary Dater: Okay, yeah. Well, I bought one of those. I was like, "That's a great idea." And I bought it and I put it up to intentionally make sure that I was doing something fun every month. And I color-coded all my sticky notes in typical Type A fashion.

But, um, but I had to really force myself to like say yes to taking my daughter on a weekend trip, to go see my friend who lives in Kansas, to take my son fishing, to take myself fishing, and to do all those things. And so I spent a year really focused on fun, and then I started looking at 2026 and I felt like I just wanted fun to be part of my every day as opposed to just something that I scheduled on a calendar.

Um, and so I think [00:44:00] anyway, all those things combined kind of just helped push me right over... I was gonna say the edge, but like in a good way.

Laurie Reynoldson: The good edge. You're flying, right? It's like, "What, what happens if I get to the edge and I fall?" "Oh, but darling, what if you fly?" kind

Hillary Dater: Yes. Oh my gosh, absolutely. So

Laurie Reynoldson: Um, thank you for sharing that. Everything, there's so much beauty that came out of that. Thank you for sharing the story with your dad because that is, w- what a legacy and what a beautiful lesson for him to share with you, um, and, and, and for you to learn the lesson.

Like, to listen and actually step into action and, and not have the same regret that, you know, your father did. Um, you talked about, though, memories and what memories you wanted to, to make with your kids, and I think it's so important to think about future memories. You [00:45:00] know, have this idea of what do you wanna be experiencing with the people who are most important to you?

You know, where is that? And g- and get as really concrete and how do I wanna feel and w- what do we wanna be eating and, and, and really figure out what is that memory that I want to have. Put that in the bank, and then once it's in the bank, once you know what you want, then the universe can help you figure out how you're gonna do that.

Hillary Dater: Yes

Laurie Reynoldson: knowing, well, how do I want to have this relationship, and how do I wanna show up, and, and how do I wanna spend my time? And I love that you're not having to schedule fun anymore because it's just a part of who you are and the day that you want to live every day. Amazing.

Hillary Dater: Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty-- It's better than pretty good. I, I say stuff like that as kind of a low-key joke, but I mean, yeah. And it's just the delight that comes with, um, [00:46:00] for me, living in the mountains and the wildlife that I get to see and, and the things that I start to notice a lot more, and I've fallen in love with mowing my lawn.

I've, I've got a little bit of space, so I didn't know anything about... I mean, I've mowed a lawn before in my life, but I didn't know anything about a riding lawnmower, so I got a riding lawnmower and asked for help to figure out how to drive it. And now I've got these, like, coveralls that my cousins and I, we went on this cousins trip, 'cause that's something else that we've started to help us stay in touch.

And so there are a couple of us across the country, and then each year we get together and someone kind of plans something. And last year we were in, um, Duluth, Minnesota of all places, and of course we went to the Duluth factory and then we all bought these coveralls. And so now we've all worn them for various projects.

So they're now my, uh, lawn mowing coveralls. And anyway, I put those on and go out and mow my lawn. It's like my happy place. I love it.

Laurie Reynoldson: So [00:47:00] good. That's so good. I wanna also, um, bring attention to something that you've mentioned a couple of times now, and it's this habit of asking for help. Because I think as high achieving women, that is oftentimes the last thing that we wanna do. Although if one of ... If someone we knew, w- what- whether it's a, it's a best friend or just even a, somebody we know in passing, if they needed help, we'd be like, "How can I help?"

We'd be the first people there, but we don't allow that for ourselves. Can you ... H- how did you get to the point where you were sort of exercising that ask for help muscle?

Hillary Dater: Yeah. Ooh, that's a good question. I think, Laurie, some of it, y- if I'm, if I'm being honest, I think some of it actually, uh, started to bubble up at the retreat. Because I think it was like this [00:48:00] idea of like, like looking at things, talking with other women, asking, getting curious about what they were struggling with, and then some of those relationships that, that form so then you can be like, "Hey, you know, I'm trying to figure this thing out.

Like, like how do I do this thing or how do I break this habit of people pleasing and, and what do you do?" And, and just trying to kinda be like naturally curious about things.

And then I think also for me, probably some of it developed through fly fishing because there was-- My dad had taught me to fish. I had fished a lot as a young person and, um, but there was a lot that I didn't know.

Like, I don't know, I, I know a lot more now because I've had some good teachers. But like I didn't, you know, what do I, how do I tie a nymph rig? Like, what's that knot that I'm supposed to use again? Like, what is a 5X leader over a 3X? Like, I don't know these things. And I figured that I just had to get really humble and ask or else I was never gonna learn, and then that was gonna limit my [00:49:00] joy. Because my goal is to really be able to understand, um, how to go out and, and, and fish at different times with different bugs and, and to kinda know what's going on or whatever.

And so I think also when I would go on these different fly fishing trips, I'd be asking a lot of questions, I'd be paying attention, and I just had to get really comfortable with just being like, "I don't know this, but I want to," and to trust that people would be put in my path who were willing teachers, you know?

Um,

Laurie Reynoldson: they were all happy to answer your que- questions, weren't they?

Hillary Dater: so happy. Exactly. I mean, and I think about it, I mean, probably again, a lot of women our age, you know, I get asked by younger women who are early in their careers, maybe they're early fundraisers or something like that, and they'll be like, "How did you tackle this thing? How did you, how do you handle donor meetings?

How do you do these different things?" And I'm like so happy to share my know- like if, you know, and they can take what they [00:50:00] want, and not everything's gonna resonate with them, and they have to find their own way. But it's like, well, let me share this with you. And I started to think like, well, if like I'm willing to share with other people, like probably other people are willing to share with me.

But I think I had also created this thought in my mind that, um, maybe I was like, uh, difficult to be around or like that, you know, I was kind of this like... I, I think that through some different, um, interactions in my life, I had also kind of bought into this idea that I was like kind of a difficult, unpleasant person to be around.

And I think that was something else that I also learned through the retreat was like, maybe I'm not as difficult or unpleasant as I have kind of bought into this weird messaging that I've believed. And so I think I also never wanted to ask for help because I felt like that I would be too annoying.

That's too annoying, and no one's gonna wanna help me because I'm like an difficult person. [00:51:00] And as I started to see myself differently, um, then I think that also helped me, when it comes to asking for help. So it's funny, as a fundraiser, I have no problem asking people for money, but apparently I have trouble asking for help for myself.

Laurie Reynoldson: You know what? It's not even, it's not even being a fundraiser. It's just, like at work or if you are advocating on somebody else's behalf, you have no problem asking on their behalf. But it's, it's really tough for, for us to ask on ourselves. Let me just allay any concerns or lingering questions that you have if you are a difficult or unpleasant or annoying person.

You absolutely are not. Please d- banish that from your thought

bank. 

Hillary Dater: I think, I think, I think I ha- I think I have, have done that, but I'll always take another affirmation, Laurie. Thank you for

Laurie Reynoldson: I'll

Hillary Dater: I will take that home.

Laurie Reynoldson: tell

Hillary Dater: Oh

Laurie Reynoldson: you, I've been around plenty of difficult and unpleasant and annoying people, and you, you, it wouldn't even occur to me [00:52:00] to, to color you with any of those crayons

Hillary Dater: you. I appreciate that.

Laurie Reynoldson: I'm curious what your advice would be for a woman who is listening to this and saying, "You know, I've got a pretty good life. Um, there are some things that I would like to do in my life or, you know, some relationships that I'd like to mend or conversations that I need to have or, you know, I've got these dreams of, of maybe living somewhere else for a while, but it feels like it's a little too late for me or, um, you know, what if I rock the boat?"

But you talked about living on the sidelines and you weren't gonna do that anymore. So what advice would you give to a listener who kind of feels like she's on the sidelines a little bit?

Hillary Dater: Oh, yeah. I would say if you feel like you're living on the sidelines, get in the game. It, it's never too late to make a change. It's never too, too [00:53:00] late to have a fresh outlook on life. It's never too late to be your authentic self. And I think when we're, we're living authentically, um, it, it, it also creates like a sense of calm and peace.

I, I have had a lot of anxiousness and worry and all this stuff in my life, and the more and more aligned I have become with who I really am and what I really want, a lot of that has dissipated.

And, and I would say I, if you're at all thinking about doing the Best Life Retreat, do it.

You won't regret it. I think, and I'm saying that really authentically because I think it's so hard for us. Like, it was so easy for me to justify spending any amount of money on my children, on, you know, e- external, right? And I think that we just so neglect investing in ourselves and like I know that that can feel scary.

[00:54:00] I-- But it's like so worth it.

Okay, so I love to quilt, and there are these big machi- You can see it behind me. They're called long arm quilting machines, and they, they quilt the entire quilt. So like you piece it together and then the quilt does the whole thing. You know, they're, they are expensive machines, and I've never run one or touched one before.

And I found a great deal on Facebook Marketplace, and I was like, "I'm going to buy this." And I just about had a heart attack, um, with it, and yet I was like, "You love to do this. This is something that you're passionate about. You know that you can figure out how to run this machine. You can ask for help if you need it.

This is an investment in yourself and something that you love to do." And I have never regretted that choice at all. I have never regretted the time and investment spent, uh, at the Best Life Retreat. I mean, Laurie, every time I see you, [00:55:00] you know I'm always like, "I'm living my best life, and I have you to thank for it."

And I'm always like, "Thank you for being the catalyst to really jumpstart that alignment with my authentic self. And I feel like I've done a lot of hard work internally. I've, I've done all the things, but I really feel like that Best Life workshop was the one that really, really made that leap.

My, my grandfather used to say, "Don't let life put you back on your heels.

Lean into it." And I've thought about that a lot at times where, like, things felt scary or felt like, oh, I probably shouldn't do that. But every time that I've leaned into something, even if it felt a little scary or overly indulgent or something like that, the r- the reward and the return on that investment, whether it's been time or money or both, has just paid off in spades.

And, um, yeah, if you're sitting on the [00:56:00] sidelines, dive in.

Laurie Reynoldson: So good. Oh, it's so good. Yeah. Uh, and thank you for the kind words, uh, about the retreat. Retreat weekends are my favorite time away, uh, because it's so amazing to watch women who oftentimes are a little shy and anxious and concerned about, "I don't really know anybody walking in here. What am I doing? I feel like this is very self-indulgent.

I'm taking time away from my family and my work, and I'm spending money on this," and, and they don't really... They're very unsure walking in, and then it's a completely different woman who walks out three days later. It, it's shocking, and I love the... It almost feels like there is someone, a woman before the Best Life Retreat and then a, a different woman after the Best Life Retreat, and they are the same woman, but what you allow yourself permission and curiosity and [00:57:00] possibility and just the willingness to invest in yourself and actually do the things that fill you up, they're no longer a non-negotiable.

Like, that, that's who you are, and I, I love it so much, so thank you for the kind words

Hillary Dater: Yes. Oh, absolutely. And yeah, wholeheartedly and authentically spoken from me. So I'm your number one fan, Laurie, so if you didn't know that. 

Laurie Reynoldson: I'm a pretty big fan of yours as well.

Hillary Dater: well, thanks

Laurie Reynoldson: I could talk to you for hours, Hillary. I just, I think you are an incredible human. Um, I, I still think it's funny that you thought maybe you were difficult and unpleasant, but funny, not haha, funny

Hillary Dater: No, like, yeah. Yes.

Laurie Reynoldson: We end every episode, every guest episode of the School of Midlife podcast with the same two questions. So if you are ready, I

Hillary Dater: Okay. Oh my gosh, I didn't-- I know, I know that you do this, and then I didn't, I didn't, uh... Normally, the old Hillary would have listened to all of them [00:58:00] and prepared answers, but the new Hillary is like, "I'm just gonna go with the flow." Okay.

Laurie Reynoldson: Yes. Wonderful. I love that. I love that about the new Hillary. Number one, what do you love most about being a woman in midlife?

Hillary Dater: Ooh. I love I love being able to be myself. I love being able to be myself, and so I will say that as a, as a person who's done the work, who's gone through the, the retreats, who's done that stuff, I... This is like literally the, the best time of my life. This last year, year and a half has been some of the best time in my entire 55 years on Earth, and I'm so grateful for that.

Yeah.

Laurie Reynoldson: Amazing. It's pretty good, isn't it? I mean, I feel like there's something about being unapologetically aligned with who you are that it's, [00:59:00] it's really liberating.

Hillary Dater: Yeah. Yes.

Laurie Reynoldson: have to perform anymore. You can just show up and be yourself, right?

Hillary Dater: Yeah. And I think sometimes it's like, uh, you know, it's not about being, you know, brass or bitchy or any of that stuff. It's like, "Oh, I can just be like a, like a genuinely really kind person, and I can be like a really loving person." And 'cause I can be like myself, and I can be soft, and I can be like, "Oh, I don't know these things."

And instead of having to be like, "Where's the list? And we're late, and I need a snack," and, you know, blah, blah, blah, all that kind of

Laurie Reynoldson: Instead of being the difficult, unpleasant, annoying person that everyone expected me to be. Amazing. Uh, number two, if you could go back having had all of your life experiences, knowing everything that you know now, gone through everything that you have, have all the education, everything that you've learned, what advice would you give to [01:00:00] your 25-year-old self?

Hillary Dater: Oh, I would say Don't be a people pleaser. And I would really encourage her to To, to follow what she is interested in instead of trying to make everybody else happy. I think that was... Yeah

Laurie Reynoldson: So good

Hillary Dater: Yeah. Yes.

Laurie Reynoldson: That's so good. But I bet that 25-year-old version of you would look at you right now and be like, "Damn, girl, we got this. We figured this out. We're doing pretty

Hillary Dater: think s- I think so. I think so. I think she'd be like, "You figured it out. Good job."

Laurie Reynoldson: Good.

Hillary Dater: So,

Laurie Reynoldson: Thank you so much for being here today, Hillary. I have loved seeing you and chatting with you and just spending time with you as always.

You are a complete delight

Hillary Dater: Oh, thanks, Laurie. This was really fun to be, to be on your podcast, and thank you so much for thinking of me. And, um, yeah, and thanks for changing my [01:01:00] life. I owe you.

Laurie Reynoldson: oh.

Speaker: Thank you so much for listening to the School of Midlife podcast. It means so much to have you here each week. If you enjoyed this episode, could you do me the biggest favor and help us spread the word to other midlife women? There are a couple of easy ways for you to do that first. And most importantly, if you're not already following the show, would you please subscribe? That helps you because you'll never miss an episode. And it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. Second, if you'd be so kind to leave us a five-star rating, that would be absolutely incredible. And finally, I personally read each and every one of your reviews. 

So if you take a minute and say some nice things about the podcast, well, that's just good karma. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you right back here. Next week when the School of Midlife is back in session until then take good care.