Facing the Orange Elephant: Community, Activism & Mindful Change on Tangents & Sidebars

Join Debbie from New World Normal and Melissa from Fully Mindful for a lively, in-depth discussion on the big issues facing us today—right from the heart of local activism to the challenges of doing business as usual. In this monthly live crossover episode, recorded on the third Monday at 5:30 PM Pacific, our hosts dive into topics that range from political reform to personal mindfulness.

Episode Highlights:

• The Orange Elephant in the Room:
  • Explore the metaphor of the “orange elephant” as a symbol for the unspoken challenges in today’s political climate and societal norms.
  • Delve into the frustrations with “business as usual” in a time of governmental turmoil and social unrest.
• Civic Engagement & Local Activism:
  • Discuss practical ways to make your voice heard—from calling your local representatives to attending town hall meetings.
  • Consider how localized efforts can drive broader policy changes on universal health care, livable wages, and accessible education.
• Community Building & Social Innovation:
  • Reflect on the importance of fostering genuine community connections in an age of individualism and digital isolation.
  • Share ideas on redesigning suburbs and cities to nurture inclusivity and community spirit.
• Environmental & Social Justice:
  • Debate pressing issues like climate change, clean energy, and the role of corporate and government policies in protecting our environment.
  • Discuss how diversity, equity, and inclusion can pave the way for a more resilient society.
• Mindfulness, Wellness & Resilience:
  • Learn about upcoming breathwork classes, resilience boot camps, and other mindfulness practices designed to help you navigate these challenging times.
  • Enjoy humorous yet insightful asides—from the “orange sticky pad” to quirky anecdotes that remind us to keep perspective.
• Call to Action:
  • We invite you to join the conversation! Share your thoughts on what you’re fighting for and how you’re contributing to the change you want to see.
  • Connect with us on Instagram and through our podcast platforms to stay updated on future live sessions and events.

This episode is perfect for anyone interested in political activism, community building, and practical mindfulness. Whether you’re looking to engage locally or simply curious about new ideas for a better future, tune in and get inspired!

Find Debbie at The New World Normal: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/new-world-normal/id1558776039

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✨ Stay Connected: Follow @the_fully_mindful on Instagram for mindfulness tips, breathwork insights, and more!
✨ Free Breathwork Sessions: Email me at info@thefully.mindful.com to get signed up for your first session for free of my monthly Unwind Your Mind session.

Transcript

Debbie 0:01

You are now live. Here we are waiting for Melissa from the Fully Mindful. We are starting up tangents and sidebars again. We are shooting for the third Monday of every month at 530 Pacific. Here we are. The third Monday of the month. Is it already the third Monday of February? The third Monday of the month? Is it already the third Monday of February? Now I want to go back and count, but I believe it is and we are going to talk about. There she is.

Debbie 0:35

We decided that we are going to talk about the elephant in the room and it will probably be that topic, but different aspects of that topic for the foreseeable future Hi. Melissa. Hey, I know how I feel that it's just weird to try and do business as normal, or business as usual when there seems to be a dumpster fire happening in our government right now.

Debbie 1:08

So why not give us this outlet, all of us? We're going to actually talk about it, instead of saying it feels weird to talk about business. But I'm just going to talk about business and my offers Like why don't we just talk about it and then we can?

Debbie 1:21

I'm not saying, not to talk about your business and your offers, especially if you're in the wellness space. I feel like we're going to talk about something orange, I already said the orange elephant in the room it's like trying to do this, it's like I'm just not going to acknowledge something orange in the room.

Melissa 1:37

For those of you who aren't watching, I have an orange sticky pad right in front of my face. Yeah, definitely colors everything.

Debbie 1:44

Orange sticky pad right in front of my face yeah, definitely colors everything. And so, yeah, and I know that you and I've been sharing resources on how to stay engaged and also saying which I'm sure we'll touch on continuously for the foreseeable future, yeah, but I know we talked about taking a different tact tonight and I was actually just talking to my daughter about the topic and it was getting kind of excited, exciting thinking about we're talking about. What are we fighting for? So we know a lot of what we don't want, what. What is it we want?

Melissa 2:25

Well and I think that's where so many of us have gone wrong in the past We've been focused a lot. When I say we, I mean just kind of collectively. We have been focused on so much of what we don't want. We don't want Donald Trump, we don't want Elon Musk, we don't want these policies, we don't want these things, but we don't say what we do want. I'm not saying that we haven't said that, but we haven't focused on that enough and we need to focus more on what we do want and a path forward to getting there.

Debbie 2:57

And I think that is also going to help. It'd be another item on the list of what to do to stay sane during these crazy times, because it's a little bit of a almost like an adjacent to a gratitude practice. Yes, you know, focusing on the things that we actually want and then, when you really start thinking about it we were talking about these big policy type things, but then when you get down to it, there are other things like that we have more of a say right now. So if we start thinking more about the world we want to live in and we can see where, where are the steps I can start taking right now in my personal life and in my community, that will start creating that world, regardless of what's happening in washington right or state capitals. I'm if maybe 530 isn't the best time for me, I always feel a little because I just had dinner.

Melissa 3:49

Post-dinner sleepiness.

Debbie 3:51

My brain and my mouth not cooperating.

Melissa 3:54

Yeah, I get that. So I mean, what came to your mind when you were thinking about you were thinking about this topic, when you were thinking, okay, I want to talk about Project 2029. Like, what are we talking about? And Project Now, like, what can we make a difference about now?

Debbie 4:14

Yeah, initially it's about all my favorite policies, you know, like universal health care, livable wage, accessible education. I personally think it needs to be free, but if they could just do something to make it slightly more accessible for everybody, that would be great. But then, when I really started thinking about the personal ways, I have a podcast episode coming out about romance and the fact that I was talking to my daughter. It was an easy thing for me to broach with her. But the way as women were kind of conditioned that this fairy tale, romantic love is like the ultimate goal to find a husband, to get married and have the white picket fence. What if that wasn't the main focus? And what if we focused more on community than the individualism that we are conditioned with in this capitalist upbringing? And yeah, so those are things we. Then we started to dissect community, because the other thing that I was thinking about when I was thinking about this list was innovation.

Debbie 5:18

Like we don't really innovate. Like how I don't understand number one, how we haven't come up with a cure for cancer already. Like I feel like there's something at play there. Energy like the idea of this energy source I was just reading about, china is getting way ahead of us in the plasma, and this is also something I don't really understand. But, like, there are a lot of really smart people in the world that could do a lot of really smart things, but my understanding a lot of the industries that are in charge right now I'm thinking oil car industry don't want those innovations because they want us relying on driving our car from point A to point B. So like, no, we're not going to let you innovate new public transportation or high speed rail, or I know most of our utilities are privatized.

Debbie 6:17

So like, what is the incentive for you to come up with a cheaper way for us to power our homes? There's not going to be any money in it, so they're not going to lobby for those sorts of things. There's nobody lobbying for us. And that leads to then another policy type thing Like can we get rid of the lobbyists? Can we get rid of the money in government? Like, how do we get it so we, the people, have more of a voice that we can compete with the lobbyists? How do we? I have a couple ideas. It could almost be like a TEDx situation where you submit your two minutes of comment on a specific bill to your representative and they have to review all the public comment right like why can't we do that with our thing? And then they have to present a certain number of presentations from their constituents, maybe a differing idea. There's got to be something right besides these high paid lot, I mean, who are completely out of touch with what we actually want or need.

Melissa 7:27

Yeah, I mean, and I think that's where we can make a really big difference is locally. Because there are those forums. Right, we have a right to go into our city council. Right, they have a town hall and they have to listen to us. And they do listen to us and we're the ones who are going to be voting directly for them. Right, there aren't any electors who are going to do that and they don't get away with the same kinds of things that our Congress people might get away with. Right, we have more of a voice, so we really can make a difference locally, which I think eventually makes its way up Maybe there is such a thing as trickle up, I don't know, but at least we can make a difference locally, right, yeah, which is helpful from time to time.

Debbie 8:12

But I just think there's got to be a way, like we have a forum locally, why shouldn't we have a say with the representative that we send to Washington? I know it's not practical that everybody would have a say, but to be considered to be given a space like this is what we're going to talk about. We need your input by this day.

Melissa 8:33

Well, and they do listen. People have been calling the representatives in droves, compared to what they normally do, to the point where the phones are jammed and the emails are overloaded. And they are actually listening and phone calls are more persuasive, because it actually takes effort to pick up a phone and to wait and to call and the people who answer the phone actually have to take it down and listen. And so they do, and so it does make a difference. So it does make a difference to be thoughtful, to think of what it is that you want to call your representative and to say, even if your representative isn't representative of you, so let's say you're, you're a blue dot in a red sea, you know it doesn't matter In fact it matters more.

Debbie 9:18

I would argue it matters more at that point, Like I've called my representative a couple of times, but I feel like they are representing me right now. You know, I wish they would be doing more.

Melissa 9:29

I don't know what else they can do, but I wish they were doing more of it. Yeah, I kind of want them to be more activist, like I want them to do more than just what they can do in the Congress. For instance, I want them to be doing sit-ins, I want them to be blocking door doorways, I want them to be breaking down doors when they aren't let into places they should be allowed into right that one time when there was a group of them and there was the one guy blocking the door.

Debbie 9:58

Oh my god, how are you people not getting past this person, just like just reach?

Melissa 10:03

around him and go in right um get in there, right?

Debbie 10:09

yeah, I want. Feisty representative is the one that brought the dick pic to the floor did you hear about that?

Melissa 10:16

yes, okay, yes for those of you who are listening, the dick pic is was it marjorie tayene who inadvertently showed an actual dick pic? Yeah, and so Debbie's representative also brought a dick pic, but it was of Elon Musk Elon.

Debbie 10:34

Musk? Yes, he's my representative, Robert Garcia. I think that's his name. Yeah.

Melissa 10:40

So I mean there are ways to get things done, and I know lawyers are doing a lot of work right now and yes we want to get in with. With your local lawyers group. There's a lawyers for good government group that people can support. I mean, those people are doing the work because it's the courts are really sort of the one area that we have left and that can really make a really big difference, or at least we hope. We hope.

Debbie 11:11

We're like oh, we hope They've kind of already alluded that they're not going to listen to the judges. But fingers crossed and I'm going to try and get back on topic, because we're bashing tangents and sidebars what are some of the things that you want? What are you fighting for?

Building Community

Melissa 12:14

Yeah, I mean, I'm really nervous about climate change, and so I would really like to see a lot more done in terms of preserving the climate that we do have, you know clean air, clean water that might follow innovation, clean energy yeah clean air Like actual clean energy.

Debbie 12:28

now this is going to get us off on a tangent, but do you consider nuclear energy clean energy? That's your personal opinion as a non-scientist the total non-scientist.

Melissa 12:39

I mean that seems like tricky right, because in many ways it is clean, right, it's clean's clean water, potentially so long as none of it leaks out, as long as it does what it's supposed to do, yes, and the byproducts of it do not go away for Forever.

Debbie 12:58

Yeah, so, I'm like, how did that somehow get labeled as clean energy? I'm like, yeah, I don't think so.

Melissa 13:03

Like in theory yes, but in practice no.

Debbie 13:06

That was when we did have a president that was at least attempting to care about the environment. It was Obama. He was trying to get more nuclear. I'm like wait, I'm not sure that that's the right path. Yes, I agree, the environment very important.

Melissa 13:25

That's where we probably need to start. I mean, I don't know To me and access to all of those things. And then it comes down to like social justice, right, because a lot of different communities don't have access to some of those fundamental things that we do have access to.

Debbie 13:40

We have cleaner water, we have cleaner air, we have access to food safe food at least I know, as we're saying this, I'm like, oh yeah, how long is that going to last speaking of clean or water? Like was flint michigan ever, really, ever, able to get back to having clean water?

Melissa 14:01

I don't think in the way that we would expect or want.

Debbie 14:04

Yeah, and that's with the agencies in place that are supposed to be looking out for that kind of stuff, right? So that's what I was hoping this would be a hopeful conversation, but I'm like this could actually be really depressing.

Melissa 14:18

It's hopeful because you know we're looking towards something. It seems a little bit far off on the horizon, but I think maybe as we continue to have these conversations and we continue to look for actual solutions I mean, right now it seems overwhelming because I say that stuff and I have no idea how to get there. Right? Yeah, starting here.

Debbie 14:36

And that's true, focusing on what we can control and because, as we're saying, that, of course my brain is throwing up all the obstacles, because, you know, my brain's really good at worst case scenario. My brain is throwing up all the obstacles because, you know, my brain's really good at worst case scenario, even with the environment. What are the things we can do now, like support the companies that are concerned about that, doing our best, we can continue to make good choices and not take a straw if we don't absolutely need one we continue to pressure the companies that make these products not to make these products or not to use these products.

Melissa 15:11

I mean, it really does have to be done at a more global level and we can praise looking at it from an incentive side of things and a positive side of things. We can continue to praise and support those companies that are doing good things instead of those that are not doing the good things. We don't even give them our money. Our money is a very strong vote. Similarly, one of the other things that I really want to support is diversity, equity and inclusion and belongingness.

Debbie 15:42

Definitely something we can do every day.

Melissa 15:46

Yes, and there are companies that are fighting the good fight and continuing to keep their diversity, equity inclusion and belongingness policies, despite the pressures to get rid of their diversity, equity, inclusion. Are we going?

Debbie 16:00

to see how many times we can say diversity, equity and inclusion. Yes, it's funny that you say that because I was actually thinking about that being one of my solo episodes coming up when I was talking to my daughter. We also started talking about community and how we know it's important, but everything's set up for it to be more challenging. I know we live in a really small, tight-knit community, but when she moved to the mainland she was doing the typical American and work situation and I know you experience it as you're back in the office, at least part-time, where you have to get in your car, drive a distance work, then you interact with those people that you work with and then you get in your car and you drive back to a completely different area. It's really hard for her to develop any sense of community because she's not really in either of the places and and as I'm describing.

Melissa 16:57

I was like it's almost like severance. For those of you who haven't seen severance, it's a must see. We could probably do a full episode on one of them. We probably could. Well, yeah, and I mean it's interesting. I had a kind of a debate with a colleague of mine who's very interested in going back to the office full time because she's under the I think, misinformed idea that people will be less lonely if they go back to the office, and I tried to disabuse her of that nonsense, because I've never been more lonely than when I worked in an office myself. So I can speak from experience and I also know from studies that I have read that being with a lot of people has nothing to do with loneliness. Whether it causes it or doesn't cause it, it doesn't do anything. It has nothing to do with loneliness.

Debbie 17:43

I would say more the inclusion might help?

Melissa 17:47

No, but she is an extreme extrovert, like someone I have never met as extroverted as that, and so for her, she really enjoys her work community Right, and so I was describing how I have developed a work community despite the fact that I mostly work from home, and how I've been able to cultivate that. And so there are other ways to cultivate a sense of belonging without having to be anywhere. In particular, it may take more effort, but you can still create a sense of belonging by reaching out to people that you work with on a regular basis and having meaningful conversations with them, both about work and not about work, and that does take effort.

Debbie 18:30

Well and I think that was the point, because it takes work the community and you can build community wherever you are. Like I know, you and I are also part of a big or a pretty robust online community. We never meet in person, but we're still connected and supporting one another, and it's a community.

Melissa 18:48

Yes, and it takes effort, and it takes work and it is absolutely one of it.

Debbie 19:04

But what I've come to is designing suburbs and cities to make it easier to have community and to connect with other people. We were also talking about how Europe is a Western capitalist, but they have a completely different way of living because they are walking. Because they are walking, they are going to their little local markets and sitting outside at cafes and talking to people in their car, going to their cubicle, back in their car, getting their lunch through a drive-thru window. You know like it's a completely different.

Melissa 19:31

Or even the culture of phones. I mean I'm not saying that Europeans aren't on the phones, they are, but it's different. I mean I'm not saying that Europeans aren't on the phones, they are, but it's different. They're not to the same degree that we are on our phones. You know, you go to somewhere in France or Spain and people are talking with one another. I mean, it's exceptional, although I will say, my husband and I went to lunch today. We went to there's a there's a hotel in downtown Portland that has created a food court with a whole number of it's like I don't know, probably 10 or 12 different, almost like food carts with it, but they're inside and the tables you just have to sit communally, which I think, facilitates conversations Having this conversation with this couple next to us about they were eating Thai food and they talked about how they ate this particular dish every day breakfast, lunch and dinner in Thailand, what their experience was in Thailand, and it was very cool and we'll never see those people again. But it broadens your experience, right, it diversifies your experience.

Debbie 20:40

Nice, nice, nice. I like that you brought that in and I think so.

Melissa 20:44

Creating those third spaces that are more like that are going to be fundamental in creating that opportunity for more inclusion and belongingness in our communities. Even if you never see those people again, it just makes you feel better as a human being.

Debbie 21:02

Encouraging cities and planners to be sure to incorporate spaces like that.

Melissa 21:10

And to do citywide things. Like you know, during the summer they do a lot of events that that are city sponsored. They're music events and parades and all sorts of things. And what does that do? It gets people out in the community together and you start seeing some of the same people and you interact with different people and it's not only fun but it gets you feeling connected to your community and yeah, so pay attention to what your parks and Rec department is doing and get involved.

Debbie 21:44

So what did we come up with?

Melissa 21:46

Community- Environment, Diversity, equity and inclusion.

Debbie 21:52

Yes, big ones like you know, the health care for all and all that stuff, but like the little ways, oh, the romantic love. Not making that the be all end. All white picket fence is the goal for our young girls and young boys. Like and yeah, but we I think we want this to be a living list, right?

Melissa 22:16

We want to be. And oh, and I think the fundamental part too is that it takes effort but it is worth it, Like I think it's a one plus one equals five thing. You know, it is not like, oh, trudge, trudge, trudge, it's so much effort, it's like you take one step and you get so much in return. So it is absolutely worth it. When you go to your town hall, you go to your city council and you speak your voice, you feel heard. When you do something in your community, you feel a part of and it is really important.

Debbie 22:48

And I think that's a good point in the bigger picture. I know we wanted this to have like a positive slant of like what are we fighting for? What is the world we're trying to build? But also we have to remember what are we fighting for, what is the world we're trying to build? But also we have to remember we recognize that there's all this stuff going over here that we don't want and that's going to take a little effort. But don't be afraid to actually pick up the phone and call.

Debbie 23:09

Right, I was listening to Don Lemon on TikTok now. Did you know that he does his own news on TikTok and YouTube? So I was watching him and he has some of his top tier supporters come on and they actually do like Q&A. And he was talking like did anybody go to any protests today? And this one woman piped up with like it's not where I feel I can be most effective. I feel like that serves a purpose and then so does picking up the phone and calling. She talked about connecting in her community, all the ways we can affect change, but it's going to take effort. There's a big call for you know some boycott type things to happen and they're trying to structure them, so it's not as much of an impact, right? The first one coming up is on the 28th, and it's just don't buy anything that day. It's one day.

Melissa 24:04

Don't buy anything from your larger big box supporting Elon Musk and Amazon. And yeah, but if you can't decipher, like you could, just don't buy any, it's only one day, like it's only one day, but it could also, you could have a really negative impact towards small businesses. So I would say support your small businesses if you're gonna spend money support your community if you support your small business, right spend, spend cash, spend cash.

Debbie 24:35

Yeah, so it's just one day and small business or nothing at all. And I was going to say something. Do I want to say this? A lot of my small businesses in town are Trump supporters, so I'm like, oh well, I should say that you feel really good about and you feel comfortable supporting.

Melissa 24:54

I live in Portland, Oregon. It's pretty easy I would say 95% of our small businesses are aligned with my politics.

Debbie 25:05

I mean, the only place I would probably spend would be bonds, and that's a corporation, so they don't. They don't need my money. So let us know in the comments. If you're seeing us this on Instagram, that's really easy. If you're hearing it on the podcast and you have an Instagram, jump over in the conversation there. If not, I'm sure we both have ways on our podcast to comment. And if you're new here, I'm Debbie and I have a podcast called New World Normal.

Melissa 25:34

And I'm Melissa and I have a podcast called the Fully Mindful and what's going on with you for business as usual.

Melissa 25:44

My husband tells me I should be focusing on one thing. That, evidently, is not what I do. I have serious ADHD and that bleeds into my business world. So I have a podcast and I hope to have some new interviews out in the coming weeks. But this Thursday, which is the third Thursday of the month, which I do every month, so that is a normal thing you can rely on I have free online breathwork and so you can catch that at Calm. You can sign up for it there, and then I also have in person breathwork in both Portland and Hood River, if you are local to Oregon. And then I am also launching an eight week coaching course that starts February 25. If you're interested, it's all based on the positive intelligence program and it's pretty transformational and it's pretty awesome. So that's a lot coming up. What about you?

Debbie 26:39

And I would say her breathwork courses are not to be missed. Never done one in person, but online is pretty spectacular For me. I, too, should be focused on one thing, but try to do 10 things at once. Podcast is moving along and I am working on getting my 12-week coaching program up and going, but before that I'm going to do a live boot camp workshop, completely free resilience in a batshit crazy world, because that sounds just perfectly timed right now I feel like we can always use a little resilience, especially now.

Innovative Breathwork and Feedback

Debbie 27:25

Yes, definitely, and we do this every month, or we back to the third monday of every month. So the third week of the of the each month is going to be busy for you, because you'll have tangents and sidebars and then your breathwork class, but that also works nicely because we can remind everybody about it here.

Melissa 27:46

Yes, and I think I've got some people signed up, so I'm hoping more people will sign up. It is free, so you know, I welcome donations. Um, if you feel like supporting the breath work, which I think once people have it, they're like holy crap, I need to support this.

Debbie 28:05

So there's your opportunity and if you're resistant to the idea of breath work and mindfulness. I heard this other creator. He was getting ready to teach a mindfulness class to like I don't know if it was like truck drivers or like someone that was not super receptive to the whole idea of um mindfulness and as he was walking in, he heard someone say something, something, something, ah, fuck this.

Debbie 28:33

And so when he brought them in and taught the first breath, he's like breathe in F-U-C-K, hold and then breathe out D-H-I-S. So he taught them the fuck this breath work.

Melissa 28:48

I love it. I love it. Well, I just saw the new Captain America last night and it was really good, and the closing credit song is by Kendrick Lamar and it's called I Love Myself and it's fantastic and I think I'm going to put that in the breathwork. So you know, there's that to look forward to too.

Debbie 29:09

Oh, I was to say, like I always love your playlists, yay, all right, we stayed pretty much on topic. We'll be back in a month to talk about the orange elephant in the room. We'll share any new what are we fighting for, that we come up with or hear from listeners, and we'll think of another way to talk about this elephant in the room. Yep, awesome, thank you.

Melissa 29:35

Good to see about this elephant in the room. Yep, awesome, thank you, good to see you. Good to see you, bye, bye.